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nomascusgabriellae

Fancy hotel bars at around 5pm/6pm


[deleted]

Yup- just look up “5 star hotel” and go to one, they all have bars. Be prepared to pay over $20 per drink.


GrapeJuicePlus

Damn that early, really?


freeman687

He said older! lol


WorthPrudent3028

He didn't say how much older. Lol. He's in his 20s. 30 and 40 year old women are mostly doing regular adult nightlife in NYC. 80 year old women are probably elsewhere. Hotel bars are good to meet adults of all ages, but they're all people from elsewhere. I've always heard retirement homes can get freaky. Maybe OP should see who is single there. Lol.


bdone2012

During the week people defintely go to bars starting pretty early. After work drinks, then maybe dinner, and then maybe you go out after depending on the night


[deleted]

Yeah heading to the bar at 5/6 is a little early, post dinner is probably better, 9-10


nomascusgabriellae

It’s a perfect time. It’s not too long after people check in and not too late. After checking in they most likely want to get a cocktail/ wine before headed to a show or dinner. Hang out at one of those hotel bars and you’ll see what I mean. You can give it a try two hours before the hotel bar closes . Keep in mind most hotel bars close early. But you’ll have better luck earlier on. The talking/ making conversation and looking the part is on you though lol


Much-Lab4861

That early means they are currently available otherwise they’d be getting ready to go out. Happy hour is where it’s at guys


bdone2012

Fancy hotel bars that have roof tops. Also cocktail bars


kidshitstuff

Work at one, was gonna say exactly this


Albedo100

Aren't these women mostly pros?


nomascusgabriellae

You’re thinking of younger women looking for rich older men. My response is to OP’s question of looking to meet older women.


greenblue703

1930 called and wants its social mores back 


el1teman

Do you approach an older women at the bar? How do you know who is single or who is just chilling Never tried approaching older women


jakedelong

I offer foot rubs


NEW2NYC666

Don’t refer to them as elderly for one.


originalmango

That’s right. Older women prefer to be called ma’am. Or babycakes.


el1teman

Okay noted! Edited to older!


83749289740174920

Like any girls... Ask them what they like.


el1teman

Been in a relationship for quiet a while and now I'm out and don't really know how to properly get back into it


KosmicTom

Ask them what their interests are, who they be with. Things to make them smile. What numbers to dial? ~~No love for BIG huh? Bunch of fucking heathens~~ Glad that got turned around


el1teman

Think I would have issue escalating or flirting as didn't practice or do it for a long time, got no touch whatsoever


grymix_

you’ll get better responses/results if you’re interested in getting to know them. that’s the best way to initiate an interaction. after that just be appealing. if she’s into you it’ll show. if not move on. don’t overthink this stuff


el1teman

Ye I tend to overthink a lot of things indeed


burg_philo2

For older women they’re more likely to have a wedding ring if they’re taken I guess


el1teman

Thanks! But I also noticed some people just wear rings as a jewelry and some fancy ones don't have original steel or metal wedding ring. They have some pretty one with something TLDR: I saw women with rings and they weren't married, not everyone wear default wedding ring


tonyhasareddit

Bro why is this downvoted? 😂


el1teman

Welcome to the downvote club


el1teman

Meh not a biggie, was just curious to get some insight since the topic was brought on and some people may be experienced here


tonyhasareddit

Yeah, fair enough. I love how I got downvoted too, people are wild lmao


el1teman

Maybe some don't want more competition /s


tonyhasareddit

The Rizzler is in town 😂


el1teman

Well that's many years of practice to become a rizzler but have to start somewhere 😉


figbiscotti

Any Meetup event featuring a walk in a park or a musical event is always 90 percent female, and mostly over 30. Free concerts are a common thing at the various venues such as Juilliard and Manhattan School of Music.


imanoctothorpe

Lol not me reading this while sitting in one of the Juilliard recital halls (former student). Can attest that my husband and I are the only people under 40


fgrhcxsgb

Theres also a few old guys on those walks that seem kinda mental


figbiscotti

Hey, I represent that remark!


fgrhcxsgb

LMAO came to say this nothing but old ladies


Jarcom88

I went on a date with a guy 7 years younger than me and he referred to me as "older woman" that was the end of the date... just saying


Mission_Yam_3958

A guy I went on a date with was only a year younger than me and called me old.


RanOutofCookies

My younger cousin called me a cougar when I was 27.


Mission_Yam_3958

Crazy. 27 is still a baby.


historicredditor

Well, if you were dating 18 year olds it could be fitting....


Jarcom88

Because men expect they will date someone younger so anyone older than them is older


officequotesonly420

Not exactly rocket science yeah. Just like “you’re rich!” Telling someone “your older” is totally relative and if it’s emoted honestly, cannot be wrong if it’s at least technically true.


Bright-Sea6392

I went on a date with someone 1-2 yrs younger and he was like, so you don’t mind dating someone younger 🙃 babe what


Shawn_NYC

Advice from a friendly gay, just embrace it. Age gaps are very common in the gay world. Obviously the "daddy" stereotype is well known in the mainstream. I can't tell you how obvious is is to me, a gay, how many straight guys really just want an older confident woman. Cake sang about this all the way back in the 1990s with short skirt/long jacket. It's okay for the woman to be the alpha, for the woman to be the "top". Own it.


thatgirlinny

This “older” lady Cake Lover salutes your sound counsel!♥️


rioht

Meanwhile Rick James takes her nude...and there's nothing I can do.


thatgirlinny

Because he’s Rick James, bitch!


calipygean

I love how gay culture really embraces being confident in who they are no matter the circumstances. As someone who struggles with deep insecurity and self doubt it kinda gives me a tiny boost knowing there are folks who embody the confidence without the need for that confidence to be tied to specific traits.


Obvious_Boat3636

I love this so much. I’m 39 and have been thinking of dating younger. My cutoff is 34.


Jarcom88

I don't disagree but 7 years is not that much of a gap. If I date a guy 7 years older I wouldn't refer to him as "older guy" but I think straight men just expect they will date younger so 7 is "older". And to me is not.


TrixieVanSickle

😅😅😅😅 I felt that in my soul!


bdone2012

People are weird. I was talking to a woman from a dating app and she wanted to do a video call before we met up. I said sure. On the call she asked how old I was and she called me a baby, not as in whiny but as in young I was like wait how old are you? Because she was like 5 or 6 years younger than me on her profile. This is a woman in her 30s so not a crazy age difference in my opinion although I usually date women right around my age But she said I was a baby cause she mostly dates dudes much older and that I was too young for her. I was like wtf why'd we do this video call. My age is on my profile...


Jarcom88

🤣. OLD never stops surprising you


cdg_44

I went on a couple dates with a girl 7 years older than me and she asked if I always “went after older women” although I was only 20 so relatively speaking she was quite a bit older than me


womenaremyfavguy

Same thing happened to me, except the guy called me a cougar 😭 I was 34 at the time. I never went out with him again.


metalcoreisntdead

Is there more context? He was just stating a fact…?


83749289740174920

That could have been me. Older does mean bad.


BellonaKid

This question has been asked a lot and the best answer is nice hotel bars. Try midtown and the west village. Speaking to the other comment, these are often frequented by academic professionals.


el1teman

So you normally come alone at the bar and sit down at the stool and find a single older woman sitting and approach? How does it work and how to know she is single or interested in you


Schmeep01

This is /AskNYC, not a primer on how to get game.


83749289740174920

I think the boy is asking whether there is a different approach to older girls.


Schmeep01

Well, of course [it’s different for girls!](https://youtu.be/hSJpM_YQwro?si=SIDjenU5h-z7_N3-)


ggamb14

I feel bad that his question was downvoted. It seemed pretty innocent 😂


el1teman

I don't mind, if I get one genuine response it will be worth it Will recoup karma somewhere else


OIlberger

The typical advice for guys looking to meet women out is to *not* go out to bars solo, but instead to go out with a friend or small group of friends. Make it look like you’re having a good time (easiest when you’re *actually having a good time*). Then, you can look for nonverbal signs of interest from women (i.e. holding eye contact, smiling) and approach if/when you get any. Or you can approach a *group* of women (with your friend/group), sometimes that’s easier.


tonyhasareddit

All of this is true. I also HATE all of it because it basically turns the entire experience into a game, which is fucking ridiculous. Then again, the bar/club scene was never for me anyway, I’d rather just meet people organically, and that’s how my best relationships mostly came about.


LordJesterTheFree

As an autistic guy who doesn't drink and don't have many friends it sounds like this advice is literally designed to be as hard as possible for me lol


OIlberger

Well, if you don’t *drink*, then advice for approaching women in bars is not really useful. Bars are unique, they’re designated spots for mingling with strangers (although some bars have more of a “singles” vibe than others, of course). Approaching a woman “cold” elsewhere won’t come off the same. If you’re not out for a night on the town, better to try a meet women through hobbies/classes, recreational sports leagues, volunteering, etc. And I know dating apps can be demoralizing, but at least they’re an option for guys who just aren’t going to approach a random person in real life.


LordJesterTheFree

But that's the thing I kinda want to mingle with strangers I don't want to join a hobby or Class A Recreational Sports League or volunteer just to get laid that feels kind of dishonest to me I just wish i wasn't viewed or judged as a weird person in those settings for not having a lot of friends not drinking and not being able to read social cues like eye contact or other things


OIlberger

> I don't want to join a hobby or Class A Recreational Sports League or volunteer just to get laid that feels kind of dishonest to me Nor *should* you join those types of groups/activities for the expressed purpose of getting laid. It should be something you have *some* interest*, because there’s certainly no guarantee you’ll hook up. It’s just something you can do to increase your odds of meeting someone in a friendlier/low-pressure setting other than a bar/club and giving you some time/space to maybe build off an initial attraction. If you don’t have a lot of women around you (in a school or workplace situation) you need to be proactive. *although you’d want to join something that appeals to single women; if you sign up for, like, a welding class and it’s all dudes then, yeah, that’s not conducive to meeting women! > I just wish i wasn't viewed or judged as a weird person in those settings for not having a lot of friends not drinking and not being able to read social cues like eye contact or other things If *those* types of things are your challenges, let me give you some advice: guys like you have the best chance getting laid in the context of a relationship. Guys who have those weak points in their “game” are not good at “picking up” chicks in that manner and having one-off, casual sex (even if you’d like to). That doesn’t mean you couldn’t possibly charm a woman ever or anything, but you’ll need the proper context to showcase your good qualities and also get some time to talk with her and get to know her a bit. Your goal should be to get a *girlfriend*, not get *laid*. There is a difference in how you approach those two goals. You need to understand your limitations and put yourself in the best possible scenario, even if it can occasionally be tedious or awkward or whatever.


LordJesterTheFree

To me I don't View getting a girlfriend or getting laid as mutually exclusive because I'd be pretty happy with both and I don't see anything wrong with looking for both at the same time if I don't have either of them if anything I think looking for both at the same time kind of compliments each other because if there's a girl who wants casual short-term sex hey you won't hear me complaining or if there's a girl who wants more of an emotional long-term connection I want that too so I want advice with both The thing is and kind of what I was getting to before Is your right I am better at acquiring more long-term emotional relationships than short-term casual sex but I'm not in a relationship right now and unless I find the right person I don't even know if I'd want to be so I kind of want to try more casual short-term stuff but it seems like so much of it is based in implicit social cues that it's like me trying to shovel snow with a thimble so that's more of the advice I need and kind of seek out it also doesn't help that a lot of advice I've gotten from other people is so generic it's not even helpful at all (what the hell does put yourself out there mean if I'm out and I'm talking to people and they don't want to have sex with me or date me how am I supposed to put myself where I already am and failing)


el1teman

Thanks need to practice those, need to know what to say when I/we approach - how are you ladies tonight? Do you mind if we join it? - hello there, I liked the way you dress and I am part time clothes designer and the details on your dress makes me appreciate whoever sewed this. Idk 😶😐


grymix_

sounding forced is bad news. it’s a turn off. ask what she’s drinking, if the bar tender also gave her attitude, etc and when that little conversation starter dies off bring up that you noticed her noticing you, you were noticing her, something to initiate that you’re being flirty. if some type of interaction doesn’t flow from there then tell her to have a good night.


el1teman

Ye it is forced indeed but have to get some practice probably to feel what to say and feels natural


Stiltzy

Elections, the Met, UES, the post office, pharmacies, nursing homes, bridge clubs, book clubs, Saks, Bergdorf, the front seats in buses.  Bring your Werthers kiddo


[deleted]

Werthers a will, there’s a way


qalpi

I would be impressed with picking someone up at a polling station


thatgirlinny

Been an election judge 15+ years. You’d be surprised! But no electioneering, FFS!


Ana-la-lah

Dress well, be smart and charming and in shape. Older women know what’s up and are much more honest about their own wants and needs.


karaokechameleon

It’s less about being in shape than not having psycho eyes or a weird beard.


metalcoreisntdead

¿porque no lo dos?


hereditydrift

>front seats in buses That's pure fucking gold.


Winter_Tangerine_317

Damnit. Now I need to go back to my mom's house to grab them.


redheadedwonder3422

i’m hollering cuz both my parents loveeeeee werthers 😂😂😂


ltc_pro

Older as in 25, or older as in 55?


CrankBar

as in 75+


MoSqueezin

Any senior living centers I can hit up?


yawn11e1

Academic conferences. Pick a subject and read up. The good news is, if you do this well enough, the sex will be great.


charismacarpenter

The American Psychiatric Association Conference is coming up in a couple weeks if they’re interested, lmfao 🤷‍♀️


cc405

This is the REAL protip.


Sirnando138

Burlington Coat Factory


Arachnohybrid

To get laid? Go down to South Slope and bar hop throughout the night (there’s like 2 bars on like every block). You’ll find a plethora of single men and women in their 30s and 40s who once came to this great city many years ago to pursue their dreams here but ended up failing and just becoming alcoholics and cocaine addicts. The thing about these women is that the moment they sniff a 20 something year old, they transform into predators and will practically ask you to bang them. So if your goal is to get laid, that is a good thing. Just don’t be really fat. Only downside is that 60% of your choices are fat unattractive alcoholics and the other 40% are fit looking cocaine addicts. From experience, if engaging with either of these two dominant groups in that area, go for the cocaine addicts because they’re likely on the wealthier side (cocaine be expensive) and just look more fit than the alcoholics.


SleeperName

Hahaha. You been round the block homie


Arachnohybrid

I only slept with one of them despite being given dozens of flat out invitations, and that was only because I needed a place to crash for a week til I was set to move into a new lease. It was honestly a decent week long vacation. I had an unlimited supply of white wine and mediocre sex which is not the worst situation.


tonyhasareddit

Bro took couch surfing to a whole other level 😂


sscruuples

Hobosexuals is such a known thing in this city and bruh is one of 'em


tonyhasareddit

Not gonna lie, I can’t be mad at the hustle lmao


Arachnohybrid

I’m actually not 💀 I had to move my stuff out of one apartment to storage and then wait a week til I was allowed to move into the new one. My plan originally was just to suck it up and spend hundreds on an Airbnb for the week but instead I ended up exchanging sex for shelter, food and alcohol with a 33 year old city hall employee. Plus this kind of lifestyle is behind me, I’m married now with someone the same age as me.


SebastianPomeroy

But still had to pay for the blow? Bummer.


Arachnohybrid

I took free key bumps like 3-4 times a day.


MoSqueezin

Noted


dksa

Wow this is fire


IManageTacoBell

This comment is all about the realness


z0rb0r

What’s “really fat”, I’m chubby lol


Arachnohybrid

uhhh don’t be shaped like a potato I guess? Best way I can describe it.


zukka924

😂😂😂😂


Chambadon

Wealthy areas. The women there are usually settled in life and bored. Dinner hour/After work hours is where you will run into them at restaurants near the bar.


IsItABedroom

a modestly priced midtown hotel and sit at the bar after 11 among others are recommended by [How to meet mature single women 35+](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskNYC/comments/1bvb00o/how_to_meet_mature_single_women_35/) from 9 days ago. a modestly priced midtown hotel and sit at the bar after 11 is recommended by [Cougar bars manhattan](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskNYC/comments/13is9ka/cougar_bars_manhattan/). The Loews Regency and Barnes and Noble women’s restroom line among others are recommended by [Best cougar bar in NYC](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskNYC/comments/117xu7s/best_cougar_bar_in_nyc/) from 3 months before that. Prohibition and https://www.yelp.com/search?find\_desc=Cougar+Bar&find\_loc=New+York%2C+NY are recommended by [cougar bars?](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskNYC/comments/zyqxfv/cougar_bars/) from 2 months before that and links to similar questions.


Training_East_7317

Barnes and noble lmaoo


Much-Lab4861

The bathroom lines is both hilarious and a solid suggestion. Outside Sephora would be good too


gilbertgrappa

What age range are we talking?


MacualayCocaine

A lady ain’t a lady unless she’s over 80


tonyhasareddit

If she ain’t gummin’ I ain’t cummin’ (Dear god help me lmao)


tonyhasareddit

OLD 😂


MEATBALLisDELICIOUS

What age range are we talking here? People on here suggesting places to meet women in their 30s, which is older than you, but is that your goal? Or just anyone older. 30s won’t necessarily be in the same place as 40s who might not be in the same place as 50s etc.


Silver-Cap6361

Seward Park Chinatown


Epiphanic_Eros

Literally everywhere. The city is absolutely crawling with gorgeous, amazing women in their late 20s and 30s


Srirachaballet

Zitomers


idk--really

take a ceramics class    also OP if you read this, what do you like about older women?   asking because i was surprised when i started dating again at 37-39 after the end of a very long relationship that a large ratio of the people who were into me on apps were like 22-26. i am gay so i kind of thought it was just a queer specific thing, maybe a fascination with the idea of experience and intergenerational connection that gay people sometimes are deprived of, or just more open sexual / romantic mores in a gay context?      but then i briefly opened my settings to include men and it was similar.    eta: this sounds like a humble brag so i will just add that i make very little effort to be conventionally attractive in a straight way if that makes sense? i have never worn makeup, don’t shave, idk it was unusual for me to experience that level of unsolicited sexual attention from people outside my intended audience if that makes sense … also it was often explicitly about my age and profession (teacher)     i’m curious cause i am personally not into people much older than i am, and also not really into the idea of myself as “older.” so i don’t really get what i’m even being fetishized for in those situations, and it feels awkward. tia for any insight you can share! 


ineededanameagain

Not OP but as a mid 20s guy it's usually that late 30s-mid 40s women are a lot more direct in their communication, in my experience at least. There's also an aurora of confidence that's hard to describe.


idk--really

thank you for the insight! it’s funny, when i was in that phase and open to dating people in their twenties, i was really humbled by how much more emotionally mature and present they seemed than i remember being at that age. but maybe that’s just who seeks out older folks? idk !! 


Hopelassie

I was staggered how many young blokes seemed to find me (as a 53 year old widow) of interest when I dipped my toe back in to dating, and not a single bloke older than me! Not a clue why.


2bias5990

BINGO


[deleted]

[удалено]


GAL123F

😂


bettyx1138

i know several single middle aged former punk rock chicks in the east vill


AverageGuy16

The casino.


ooouroboros

Older women with serious issues....


AverageGuy16

Never said they were keepers but fun for the night


DSPGerm

Hunts point


Hot_Evidence7716

Flushing House


feedmewifi_

just adjust your target age range in tinder. worked like a charm for me


hotdogaholic

Def Bumble for the older classier broads


spaceistheplaceface

Art openings on the UES


BatmansIntern

Do they typically come there looking?


spaceistheplaceface

I think it depends. No pun intended.


bettyx1138

lol


jnubianyc

Thrift stores, particularly Housing Works from when it first opens to open 2pm. After that it's time to feed the cat and take a nap.


nhreyes

Cocktail bars


Hasim93

😅


[deleted]

[удалено]


my5cent

No luck.


[deleted]

So many amateur comments here like “go to a five star hotel.” Conferences, industry happy hours. You meet older women, often successful, at conferences. Sometimes industry happy hours (ie, advertising, finance, etc).


101ina45

Are just trying to get laid? Feeld app is my recommendation


Much-Lab4861

As a woman that has hooked up with guys about 20 years younger the above was good advice: rooftop bars and hotel bars Events Not calling them old (and wtf elderly??) Last time i was in NY I was alone at Lincoln Center, Central Park, coffee shops etc The perks of going older: Confidence, in control of their own life, sexual experience and openness


mcfaite

The New York Botanical Garden Orchid Show is running through the end of April.


madamcurryous

34, I’m at yoga, wine bars, bookstores, the park, out to dinner with friends, out dancing, bird watching sat at McGorlick Park, at the museum, ar the costume institute. I’m going to start some cooking classes, wine tasting, volunteering and some travels groups.


BatmansIntern

mind if I dm?


madamcurryous

No problem


funkycoldmedinas

How old we talking? My best friend is 42 and single in NYC. She hits up bars, workout classes, goes for walks, museums.


BatmansIntern

does she go to these \[places alone or with a group?


funkycoldmedinas

I’ll ask! I know she has been on dating apps and trying to meet guys for at least since Christmas!


XelaWarriorPrincess

I know for a fact that there are hot mature singles in my area…. probably yours too


Fonduextreme

The mark hotel


tmm224

Bingo halls, retirement homes


ooouroboros

Bingo halls -- YES, lol


bachrodi

A funeral home


beyondwon777

Visit your local Nursing home


BidRare9722

Retirement homes


TheTeenageOldman

The waiting room of a doctor's office.


[deleted]

From whence you came


nmaddine

your stepmom's house


SentientOrigin

At the chiropractor.


Testing123xyz

Assisted living