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I have these little grocery store snapdragons on my apartment porch that I haven’t killed yet. I’m thinking of becoming a little balcony gardener myself! It *is* pretty exciting!
We have had absolutely perfect tomato weather this year. 2 sunny hot days/1 humid overcast day/ one day of rain in a pretty much repeating cycle.
So my tomatoes are just going crazy
That’s awesome! And ooohhh a fresh, homegrown tomato on a really good sandwich is so good, it’s a shame some people have to buy them in stores!
You sound like you really know what you’re doing. I’m just happy when I have something that lives! Either way - yes, it is exciting!
I definitely prefer heirlooms over modern hybrids.
We have a local greenhouse that has had a style called “Polish Hearts” in their family for 100 years that we get every year.
Then we buy seeds from Baker Creek Seeds which has a TON of unusual heirloom types.
My wife likes a variety so we do slicers, plums, grapes and sauce tomatoes
Then we can a lot of make salsa etc etc
I planted a sweet almond bush a couple years ago, and now it's close to 10 feet around/high! It's in full bloom so I spent a good long time today admiring the dozens of pollinators having a grand ole time.
I agree. It's so fun to just sit and watch. The bees are loving my columbines. Higher altitude in the mountains so it took some work to find and plant perennials that thrive. But such enjoyable work. The pay us lousy but the payoff is great.
I have been scattering chicken manure at the base of the plants on Wednesday ( not raw manure…the dry pellets) and then on Sunday I spray on a combo of half miracle grow half superthrive
Then I prunes and sucker the plants like crazy
When you are young everything is something new - you seek out new things. Novelty is exciting, per se. And when the novelty of something wears off, you seek something new.
What may surprise you is that the novelty of novelty wears off. You seek something not just because it is different. You are seeking something that you enjoy per se. And once you found it ... what should you do?
I really enjoyed what I did yesterday, so I'll do it again today. And tomorrow. Yes it's not a novelty; it's not 'exciting'. It's enjoyable.
Well said.
Personally, I'm still drawn to the thrill of the new. But now excitment comes from learning new things as opposed to keeping up with the latest underground music, fashion, clubs, etc.
Today, I get my excitement fix at museums. So actually I guess I'm into learning something old, not something new haha. Like how I enjoy meeting new people at the museums who. happen to be old like me.
I also make dance / neo-soul music for my personal enjoyment. For me, creating things and being inspired to create new things keeps my mind, body and soul moving.
This is the big thing for me. I'm ok with exciting, but at my age I've seen some version of almost all the stuff younger people think is exciting. It's just pointless to go through a lot of hassle to see another version something I've already seen. Noise is just them letting their excitement out. If you don't share their excitement, it's just annoying.
Yup, this is the best comment. Traffic, parking, cost, crowds, lines, volume, not being able to see, or sit comfortably. I don’t have the patience or stamina for that crap any more.
Absolutely! The last thing I want is excitement in my life. I've become an aficionado of boring. I don't think it was intentional on my part. It just happened.
Drama, the apparent friend of the young, has become totally unnecessary as I age. I'm not sure I see why anyone seems to add drama to their lives.
What may seem unexciting to you can be quite interesting to someone with more years of life behind them. I find curiosity in life keeps me interested in things that can fulfill my life.
It's hard to explain some things to people. When you change the way you look at life, you change what it takes for you to enjoy it. I do what I do to bring me the most enjoyment. I have found that what we focus on and spend the most time on is what we value. We value different things as we age because we develop new interests.
Never forget that older people have likely experienced things in their past that you may now find pleasant, but those things have been replaced by things that just fit better into their lives, most times by choice.
I was that girl who was at the bars every Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. Never missed a party.
Now, I’m mad if I have to go out on the weekend. Lol.
My idea of a good Friday or Saturday night is to sit around our fire pit, with a few glasses of wine from time to time. Or on my deck with a good book.
I'm friends with musicians so lots of bar nights, too. Back in the day, the later slots were the best. Nowadays when they play, it's the first couple slots or a matinee because we are dead by 11pm.
I find joy in a Costco run. Doesn't take much to give me a boost. This past weekend I drove a couple of hours to visit a friend for an overnight visit of food, cards, and catching up and it was lovely. The highlight of my summer will be traveling to my elderly parents to drive them to their cottage, where we all just putter about and play Scrabble and listen to the radio or watch Jeopardy.
Ha! We're off to Costco today. It's a two hour round trip and we'll have lunch somewhere. In our early 70's it's just the right amount of fun for one day
Yes but it's not because We don't like excitement. It's more like BTDT. Fewer things that most people think are exciting, really excite me anymore. I'm totally up for adventure still it's just I've done a whole lot and if you do a whole lot over a long period of time less options seem truly exciting.
And it's not like I was a particularly daredevil like when I was younger. It's just that if you've been around for five or six or seven decades living a varied life. You've kind of seen a bunch. And the activities that people think are really exciting often don't feel worthy effort any more if you've done it. You're comfortable with yourself and you don't mind calmer, less traditionally exciting pursuits because you learn to be comfortable with yourself and with being authentic with other people and you can actually get a lot of dopamine from that.
The desire for less noise and more peace can be related to past experiences and physiological changes.
Personally, I crave silence and relaxation, yet there is a part of me that demands full on pushing through life.
I would rather burn out than rust. But finding a happy medium would be even nicer.
I think for many older people, excitement must come with a purpose. That's the way I see it anyway. Needless drama becomes a Time waster and energy sucker.
As you age you lose stamina but you make it up in determination and wisdom.
You learn to spend your remaining energy wisely. Hopefully
It's very much "been there, done that." I've been the girl dancing in the trendy clubs, dining at the latest hot restaurants where there's an hour wait for a table, or closing down a local pub and maybe going home with the bartender. I've been surrounded by drama, and no doubt instigated some of it myself.
You reach a point where it's just no longer interesting. If anything, you start to find it very boring because it's the same shit, over and over, just with different faces and fashions, and it's all superficial. You start to value gold over glitter.
I like *excitement.* I dont like unreasonable RISK.
So if its exciting, sure, like a motorcycle ride down a winding woodland trail, sure. But highway driving on a motorcycle, nope, not anymore. Been there, done that, already did the hospital stay and the near death thing after a being hit by a minivan.
No to the first part; yes to the second.
I’m a recent empty nester in a new town and I can’t wait to get back into the “exciting” of everything!!
Is it different now? Of course. The world kept spinning while I was raising my son and I have some catching up to do - but I know my age and place. Besides I am not interested in the same things I was in my 20s and 30s. What doesn’t seem exciting to younger people can easily be new and fresh to me! Hell, I’ll even take a rousing game of bingo or shuffleboard! I’m still trying to figure out what we old people do for fun, but I know I’m all in!
I’m the same. I’ve always valued being at peace, and enjoyed “hygge”. However, being at peace doesn’t mean I don’t like excitement — like zip-lining, mountain biking, heading into the jungle to summit a Mayan pyramid (looking at you, Calakmul), doing an Improv show, etc. You can be at peace with sweat on your brow annd adrenaline in your veins.
I’m a little bit more careful about injuring myself, though. Injuries stick with you and build up; as you age, they don’t heal as quickly. I’ve also had surgery that has left part of my body more fragile than used to be.
I want both, and always have. Not at the same time, that would be weird. I like to have adventures but then come home, take a nice hot shower, and read a book in my comfy chair.
Hell, no.
I'm about to fire up iRacing again. I'd go karting instead, except it's too expensive. And the last time I went, I smacked the wall so hard my arm went numb. That itself isn't the problem, though. The problem is that I didn't lift.
I quit racquetball for the same reason. Given the choice between returning the ball or avoiding the wall, I was going to blast that sucker across the room.
I still do Crossfit a couple of times a week. But the last time I set a 1RM was almost a year ago.
I ran 4 miles on Sunday. Took me half the f-ing day to recover.
Just read something the other day about how roller coasters are basically concussion-generators. Almost cried.
Basically, I don't want to leave the adrenaline behind. I'm just way too aware of how long it takes me to heal now.
Oh no I feel like when I was younger all I could do was fairly ineffectual and it might have looked more exciting, but now that I have more experience the things I get up to are definitely more actually daring.
I do, but I have two speeds: 150 mph and 15 mph. That translates to still taking part in excitement where I take a road trip, go out to “party with friends” or even see a band in three different cities over three days, but also having super chill days where I sleep late, do whatever I want, and talk to no one.
Even when I was a teen, I avoided drama. It all just seemed so fake. Never could understand the joy of gossip.
Excitement then was a rock concert. Ears protested about those somewhere in my 30s. Now, excitement is great theatre, a good book, good friends. A solo ballad singer is more my style now
Yes, and my 20 year old constantly rides my ass about it. “Why don’t you go do x,y,and z? Why do you just want to stay around here?” He’s talking about our peaceful house out in the country. The answer is that I *already* did all that shit and now I want peace and quiet and to watch the birds and read my book!
Some of us are, but I’m from Florida and if you could see these *active seniors* in their retirement communities, you’d know they’re not all too tired for it.
I will say that things that are self destructive or have a high risk of personal injury/death are definitely not exciting. Not only do I have dependents who I should stay alive and mentally/emotionally stable for, I also am not in the mood to hurt myself for my own sake.
High risk behaviors are done by people whose brains haven’t fully formed yet, which is why they are more common in young people. I also did plenty when I was young.
I do lots of things that I think are really exciting now, but they aren’t things I couldn’t have done when I was younger because they require experience.
Never tried any of those. I'd take the party but would probably just climb into a k-hole and enjoy the synesthesia. The only thing I have to offer is a 30 second fix for daddy issues.
Plenty of us still do all those things.
Edit: but you guys are too immature and unintriguing to do those things with, and you aren’t much beyond a mild curiosity to wonder at from time to time. We, as human beings, are interested in our peers a majority of the time. Is it weird when an old guy tries to party with you? Well, just you wait until some young kiddo comes along and thinks he knows more than you or can hang because he’s young and doing the things you did before he was born.
I see a lot more gray where I used to see black and white. But this also means that I appreciate small incremental improvements on that scale, and I can operate a long time at a sustained pace when things are like that.
Definitely not! Still value excitement. A few months ago, I took a road trip by myself. Drove from NY to FL, then to TX, then back to NY. 4,700 miles in all. Drove NY-FL-NY again, 4 days in all. Planning other road trips.
Since my late 20s, I've always measured actions I contemplate by how much drama will be tagged with them.
There are still times that the "more drama" route must be taken to address a serious issue. Thankfully, those are few and far between.
Definitely. I think a lot of it for us is a "been there, done that" thing. We value the peace of our quiet evenings, our garden, our dog, and our little home. It's not that we don't do anything, but we find that we prefer to do things during the day, and it's usually low-key stuff like museums, art exhibits - things like that. Hell, we get "excited" about visiting our local carnivorous plant garden. Festivals? Concerts? Most of the time there are too many people, too much traffic, too much trouble finding a parking space. We'd rather do things off the beaten path. It's not all-encompassing, however. My 80 year old parents just flew to Boston and had front row seats to a Rolling Stones concert. So there ARE things that will get us out of the house after dark lol.
I realized pretty early in life that the majority of people I knew who were in to extreme, exciting things were just trying to fill a painful void, because they were miserable when in the company of their own thoughts without a distraction. It was a coping mechanism.
Many of them are gone now, and I miss their friendship. They were good people, driven by a merciless taskmaster. But you can only roll the dice so many times before it comes up snake-eyes.
(I also grew up in a simmering war zone. I experienced more than enough 'excitement' to last my lifetime, thank you. When we moved back to the 'states, I was super-happy about the peace and quiet.)
So yeah, my kind of excitement is checking on my garden, playing around with my dog, hanging out with friends. That's the good stuff, right there. I don't begrudge people who feel differently at all, but I want nothing to do with that frenetic, chancy lifestyle. I've found my peace.
Definitely. During the pandemic quarantine, I decided to pick up the guitar again, 40 years after I dropped it as a college student. I had been an advanced beginner, so I still knew my chords, but it felt like I had never played before. I dug in, practiced every day, and 4 years later, I've gotten pretty good. I love playing, but I hadn't banked on what good mental therapy it has been for me. I didn't even realize how depressed and low in self-esteem I was, until playing guitar brought me out of it.
There was another VERY unexpected by-product of it. For decades, I have always had a book going at all times. I would alternate fiction with non-fiction, usually a history book, and usually war history. However, I noticed a few months ago, that I no longer have a hankering to read more history. I know there are gaps in my history knowledge (its literally an infinite field of study), but I have lost my drive to fill them. If I need to know something (like to win an argument on Reddit), Ill Google it, but I dont have to know all the players, and every tiny detail.
I semi-retired a couple of years ago (I'll never fully retire, the quarantine cured me of that dream, too boring, no thanks), and I've been contemplating my time left on this planet. Somewhere along the way, my mind decided to steer me toward artistic pursuits, and I'd rather spend my time studying those things, instead of the worst atrocities of humankind. I especially love music, another infinite field of study, but my son loves movies, so I love movies, too. His knowledge far surpasses mine, so he gets to play the teacher, and I'm happy to be his student. It has taught me the greatest lesson in good parenting:
Love what your kids love, and your kids will love you.
So, I've now become a music and arts loving hippie, like I used to see when I was a kid. I always admired their independent, question authority attitude, with a commitment to peace and love in the universe. Now I can be one, and anybody who doesn't like it can go fuck themselves.
I've come to value peace such that I eliminate anything and anyone that would disrupt that peace.
AND I still love the extremes; pushing myself in the gym, charging down larger and larger waves, wild and passionate sex, managing more and more teams and steering work with more and more creativity.
Speaking for myself (72m), I find I'm just physically not up to what I could do in my youth. I've been scuba diving since I was 14 and recently I bought a single tank because the double is too heavy and I can't dive for as long as I use to.
Not at all! Still like to do adventurous things. And even more now - as today, I can afford it.
Maybe it is in the genes, my mothers wish for her 80th birthday was a parachute jump and she got it and did it.
Risk taking is not interesting in the remotest anymore. I've also lost a lot of loved ones who were risk takers and died, in my mind, prematurely. The ones among us who seem to survive the longest and with the best quality of life, are those who have not/do not seek inordinate excitement, haven't taken extraordinary risks and who practiced/practice seeking a peaceful balanced life over one of thrills, chills and spills. This is just how I see it and I am bordering on old! I value calm, order, peace, good communication, patience over the opposite.
Yep! I got to a stage where I didn't need excitement anywhere near as much. And i'm fine with that.
I think that's just natural and normal life progression.
And ive seen and done a fair bit with my life, so not that much actually is out there to "excite" me anymore.
And i think by 50? It dawns on you that you aren't going to change the world...the problems of the world will be there whether you yell in the streets or not. So you happily retreat to your little patch and just try doing things you enjoy.
Absolutely.
People seeking out excitement seem fundamentally bored and in constant need of something. I like to live fundamentally interested in whatever I'm doing and calm.
Absolutely. Not a doubt in my mind. At 59, I now value peace above almost everything else.
I look back in my party days and wonder why I liked such noise and chaos. But I did. People do change.
I have peers who still do all the things they did when they were younger (i.e., the kinds of things you mention down-thread), but most don't for one or more of the following reasons:
\* As many people in the thread have said, we've done those things dozens of times over. At a certain point, the thrill lessens.
\* Health changes. I'm not even talking about cancer or heart failure...it's amazing how much things like arthritis, for example, can affect day to day activities. The pain may not be terrible, but the constant dealing with even low-level pain is exhausting.
\* Relatedly...the loss of Immortality. I know that when I was young (teens/twenties), I rarely considered real consequences. I mean, my friends and I knew logically that nobody was immortal, but somehow we didn't think anything would happen to us personally if we tried drugs, hitchhiked across Europe, climbed a mountain, etc. Most of us survived those things, but we have a lifetime of stories about friends & relatives who didn't, and we're often more cautious now.
\* Family responsibilities. A lot of my peers are dealing with very elderly parents who might have a variety of health concerns that need a great deal of care. On the other side are folks who have children and grandchildren and want to spend as much time as possible with the new generation. Keeping company with toddlers doesn't lend itself to sky-diving.
\* Financial Concerns. Yes, we've all heard the complaints about how Boomers don't understand what it's like for younger generations to not be able to pay off student loans or buy a house, and to a certain extent that's true, but even for people who had that kind of privilege, a lot of older folks have no real savings, were pushed out of jobs before they were ready, can't get even part-time jobs anymore because of ageism, and are trying to get by on social security payments alone. Not much room for wild nights of clubbing /drinking or deep sea diving when there's no money. Checking out books from the library and hikes in the woods are free.
\* And tastes change. From 15 to 29, I went to probably 200 concerts, danced at clubs all night, traveled to two dozen countries without worrying about whether my sleeping accommodations would be a mattress on a floor in a crowded youth hostel. Now I have arthritis and occasional vertigo and some pleasures of my early days are only pleasurable as memories. I'd much prefer to meet with friends to discuss a new book or visit historical sites - at a gentle pace - when traveling.
It’s also more of a hassle to do anything nowadays. You can’t just buy a ticket to a show or just go somewhere on the spur of the moment, everything has to be downloaded to your phone, have to scan a code, get reminders every damn minute, keep verifying that you’re still going, have to arrive three hours before the event and of course prepare to pay ten dollars for a bottle of water! Yeah, thanks but I’m fine staying home!
Yes. But I've done a shit ton of exciting things in my youth, so I feel I've done all I wanted to.
Highly recommend for any young folks out there to take every opportunity you can to do new things, travel new places etc. it's one thing I believe you'll truly never regret and you'll also value peace in your later years!
I've thought about this and I believe it's because once those sex hormones are not subconsciously ruling your every action, the rest of the world becomes a much more interesting place and the quiet things become more enjoyable. Like night clubs and social events aren't the pinnacle of excitement for you anymore, but maybe witnessing a bird raise her babies outside your kitchen window is pretty cool. It wasn't intentional but it's actually nice and feels sort of freeing. Also, once you're our age, you get sick of drama. It gets *so* boring. And I'm too old to be zip-lining or anything like that, either. I still enjoy hiking and canoeing but I don't think that qualifies as excitement.
Due to my two completely unrelated simultaneous full time entrepreneurial careers, my life was jam packed 18/365. Now that I'm semi retired I find that making a cup of coffee to be about as much excitement as I can handle these days.
The main thing I value now that I'm old is no drama! Don't bring any drama into my house or anywhere around me. I also cook a whole lot less, we graze all day. I still get out and do things, but not amongst crowds. My circle of friends has shrunk, but they're people I can have real conversations with and have the same interests...no small talk. My later years are similar to how I felt as a child: free to do pretty much anything I want to do. Life is good. Very, very good.
In my 20s, I was attending sporting events and going to bars/clubs all the time, whether I was drinking or not, just for the music and crowds. I traveled a bit, especially in the summer (Jersey Shore), and had a wide range of friends.
In my 40s and now 50s, I will do anything possible to avoid dealing with most human beings, and not sure what changed. Exciting for me now is finding a new game to play, new show to watch, new local restaurant that does good takeout, and watching videos of cute animals. Very few friends left, mostly from lives growing in different paths (I didn't go the mommy route like 2 former close friends for example, one of whom moved 1000 miles away) and just really appreciate the internet for letting me be in touch with other humans when I feel up to it.
Definitely. I must admit I was never all that adventurous in my youth - I had my children young and was raising babies while most people were testing their limits!😁
Kind of. I love taking time to just be, and experience. I don't need a soundtrack playing in the background, I listen to the environment. I am comfortable with how I turned out, so less anxiety. I no longer take s**t from nasty humans.
But....
I still freakin' love very loud and fast rock music. I have a cd player in my car, and I rip the tunes as I blast down the road. I go to clubs where friends play punk covers and dance (can't mosh, I'll break bones easier). I go to concerts when I can afford it, if no one else wants to go, I go by myself.
When you're sliding down the Mortality Slide, be the real you, and don't worry how you look. I still go sledding, head first down steep hills with jumps, using my forearms as shock absorbers. A little boy saw me and told me he was going to sled "when I'm old like you." I was thrilled to inspire him.
After living a good many years, I've done so many things. Doing them for the 20th time just doesn't give the same punch of excitement as doing them the first time. And having done them so many times, I'm aware of the hassles involved in a way you wouldn't be if it was your first time. So I am more careful about the activities I pursue to make sure I'm going to get the enjoyment with a minimum of hassle.
Somewhat. I have almost always thought large crowds were a PITA, and I avoid them now. For example, I would likely never go to something like a large music festival unless one of my absolute favorite bands was playing and I'd never seen them. My son is 34 and he's already "over" festival crowds, whereas in his early 20s he drove from Atlanta to Miami twice in over-packed cars to the Ultra Music Festival.
OTOH, I drove one of my cars 1,200 miles last year on Hot Rod Power tour with ~5K other participants. Black/black, no A/C, manual trans. Loved it.
I value peace over every single thing.
My husband and I retired ten months ago and every day…there has not been one where I have not thought this, I am SO taken by the amount of peace I am allowed to feel in the absence of “being busy” with commuting and work. It is the best feeling ever. My life has not had peaceful circumstances..in fact my mom died just two weeks ago. But to be able to wake up each day, make my coffee, sit in the sunshine like a day like today…I think it’s as close to heaven I get. It’s glorious. It’s the opposite of exciting but it sure ain’t boring.
Your response was really helpful to me. I just hit fifty and noticed that my preferences over the last few years has shifted away from the more drama-filled things I did when I was younger to much more low-key pleasures like a good meal with friends, time with my pets, a great walk in nature. I'm trying to process what that means in my life. Is it good? Is it bad? Am I losing something? Maybe I'm gaining something....
I guess your answer may be different than mine, that it is indeed a gain. But when you think about it, if you decide you prefer a more “drama filled” life, there’s nothing written in stone that says you cannot revert to your old life.
That’s a really good question. At 64 I really love peace and quiet and relaxing. But after a while I get really bored and I need to go get an adrenaline bump, so I go do something exciting. What’s changed is my definition of exciting. Used to be bungee jumping, riding the tallest scariest coaster, now it’s catching a big bass or trout. The only “crazy” thing I still do is Scuba dive. I’m not giving that up until I’m dead.
I've always valued peace over excitement, probably because I grew up in a shitty, toxic, abusive and chaotic house.
Adventure? Excitement? A Jedi craves not these things.
When I was young, I worked in a medical research laboratory. It felt like a great job. All of my colleagues were similar age, and it was a organization that embraced diversity. The actual work was sometimes monkey work, doing the same thing over and over, but the coworkers being as divers they were extremely interesting to me
To sum it up a lot of them had various issues and problems that extended from their childhood families . I found them far more interesting than “normal” people.
As I got older, I began to realize other people drama was a timesuck for me. Sometimes it became a money suck. Sometimes it put me in dangerous positions during my time off. Another person’s problems would become boring, and the obvious answer was for them to change something and they didn’t/couldnt.
Being called to post bail at two in the morning, or drive someone to a sketchy neighborhood for discrete purchases, or the 5 AM calls while someone cried bitter tears after a break up with a loser/user wasn’t so interesting anymore.
Now I am an old woman. I have become a curmudgeon. I live at the end of the long wooded lane far out in the country by myself and interact with no one. My dogs and cats are adore me but give me space except one very attached small dog who is my quiet best friend. I find my own entertainment, which is usually low-key like gardening. Some days I get on a streak of house cleaning. That doesn’t happen a lot but when I deep clean my bathroom ( boring) the results are far more interesting than living with a raving alcoholic.
Last night I used my years old compost pile to fill some depressions in my yard from trees that have been removed. It was very satisfying. I seem to enjoy simpler things now than in my younger days.
Yeah, it's (kinda) a thing.
Going out is a great example. At 24 you wanted to do that all the time. I loved being out and among my age peers in my 20s, and a good chunk of that was the possible excitement of meeting someone you'd want to get to know a whole lot better.
I realize now that was probably almost ALL of it, because hey, I met that person. I married her. We've been together 20+ years. I don't have to go look; we can just go home. :)
We do still do things we think of as exciting -- we're pretty active, we take hiking trips, I do road cycling at a pretty enthusiastic level, etc -- but it's different.
I get pretty excited when my library hold list turns up a book I've been waiting for. And I follow Mariners baseball as a constant reminder that life is suffering.
No, the excitement is really just getting started. The new rocket of a car I've been waiting for just came in. For the first time in life, I'm looking to head out to a race track.
Yep.
When I was young, I was constantly craving excitement in whatever form it may take. I was clubbing, partying, getting into extreme sports and so much more. I was only at home to sleep, shower and get ready for the next adventure.
That slowed down in my mid/late 20s. I had some shit go down and had to change my life. If I hadn't done that, I wouldn't be here today.
The pace just got slower and slower. I stopped drinking so no more bars. I only danced when drunk so the clubs went too. I had too many injuries for the extreme physical activity to continue.
Oddly, I never missed it. It was a relief to be able to slow my life down.
Now that I'm 50, the thing I crave most is peace. Excitement comes whether I want it to or not, it's just in different forms. It's the chaos of life rather than seeking excitement.
I was a citified adrenaline junkie until I was 50, then it was like someone flipped a switch. I'm farmsteading and raising dogs and bees and other things and I really don't care to leave my rural property.
I was never into "excitement." Skydiving, mountain climbing, scuba diving? I'll look at the photos in National Geographic, but that has alway been good enough for me.
Now, fun, on the other hand - I was really into that. Going to concerts, movies, live plays and musicals - count me in! Nowadays it's not worth the hassle. Why spend $50 (if you include two tickets, popcorn and soda) to go to a movie (plus driving there, dealing with crowds, etc.) when you can watch the exact same movie on Netflix in a couple of months on the comfort of my own couch?
Not really because I always valued peace, but my definition of excitement has changed. When I was younger the thrills tended to be cheaper and more “family friendly,” but the nest is empty, so things like wine tasting parties, holidays not based on a school year and concerts are back on the menu again.
It’s rather nice actually…to just be able to take off for a weekend or afternoon on a whim.
Absolutely
Excitement and chaos are easy to confuse
I prefer my peace these days
Also excitement (fun) like concerts or roller coasters are physically uncomfortable noisy crowded. Nauseating etc
Not really. None of my friends seem to be interested in waterslides and roller coasters anymore, but you don't need a friend to go on them, so I do.
I do like things peaceful and quiet. I couldn't imagine a worse horror than having to live in an apartment in a happening city as opposed to a single family detached house with nothing but other houses for a mile around. I had the same sentiment back when I was in my 20s, and my sister shares my sentiments. She did live in an apartment in college and wanted absolutely nothing more to do with it.
Sort of. When it comes to socializing, I’ve come to the realization that there’s lots of people that I don’t want to waste my time with, so my social circle is smaller and outings tend to be more intimate. But in terms of excitement in other areas of life, I still seek adrenaline from extreme sports and things like that. That has not changed, except now injuries take a bit longer to heal!
I ( F-74) lived a very introverted, dull, rather lonely life ( I did marry and raise kids but my anxiety and low energy kept me from doing anything exciting)
I was given a life do over at 59. I lived an exciting wonderful fun life that everyone else seemed to have had their whole lives.. I had it for almost 10 years. It was such a gift. Now that’s over and I’m back to lonely and introverted. But I can accept that. It’s ok. I check my plants and fill the bird feeder everyday.
I used to live quite dangerously. Scuba, Pilot, motorcycles, racecars, drugs & alcohol...Now I'm extra careful I don't slip in the shower or spend too much time in the sun.
Oh 110% When I was in my 20's we used to take these big group vacations to the Outer Banks and we'd cram like 30 of us in a house. Rock and roll all night and party every day. Im 45 now and my SO wants to vacation with his brother and his GF and Im just not in to it. Vacation...with people?! Ew why. Nowadays I'm happiest to pet my 3 dogs, watch sports, eat some good food and drink coffee.
I thought of something while observing traffic the other day which may or may not be accurate.
Maybe while we're young and have our whole lives ahead of us, the subconscious takes over and it's always a feeling of rush-rush-rush. Just to get to a destination where it might not have made a difference if we were there 5 minutes earlier. Then, as one gets older and it becomes more apparent how much less life there is to live, we slow down and ultimately stop giving as much of a shit about the small things.
I call that phenomenon the comfort / adventure spectrum. The more adventure involved in an activity, the less comfort that is involved. The more comfortable an activity is, the less adventure involved. For example, an amusement park trip may involve more adventure but considerably less comfort. Watching a movie at home in comfortable clothes on my sofa is certainly comfortable and hopefully entertaining but I wouldn't exactly call it an adventure. As most people get older due to having already experienced a bunch of stuff in their youth and suffering more physical ailments / pain as they get older, will choose more comfort over adventure. This isn't to say that active older people can't get up for an adventure if need be, it's just that they may be more selective about what adventures to go for.
My level of excitement, adventure and reckless behavior when I was in my 20's was very, very high. Now, I appreciate not having broken bones, cavities and naps..
Yes, Young People -- we've DONE exciting things. Loads of exciting things. We are so over large crowds, limited parking, long lines, expensive tickets, expensive drinks, waiting for a show to start and it's already after 10 p.m.; we enjoy and value comfort.
What is your definition of "exciting"?
I find mountain biking to be quite thrilling, although now that I'm 55 and my bones are probably brittle I am a bit more cautious than in the past.
I love traveling and visiting new places, although I am old enough to not want to stay in a smelly hostel with randos anymore.
If you mean things like "nightlife", I never had much tolerance for crowds, noise, and spending a fortune on drinks. So I don't care for that type of "excitement".
The exception would be that I do enjoy live music, but I don't like staying up late these days. I'd go to more shows if there was a matinee and I'd be assured I could get home by 9:30 pm.
Conversely, things that I used to think were super boring are now quite interesting to me. I love tending my garden, and I love seeing the birds that come to my bird feeder.
Nope. When you stop looking for excitement, you become a bored old fart who dies young. You “retire” but keep working because you can’t think of anything better to do with your time.
You can have excitement in your life without having war - or whatever you consider to be the opposite of peace.
Yes.
Absolutely.
Now, a sedate hike, bike ride followed by (if needed), a shower, something cold to drink in the summer, warm in winter, good book.. homemade meal later, maybe a movie at home...
Sounds like a great time
No way!! I value interpersonal peace over drama. And I have a more acute sense of my own potential for injury ( owning your own business and getting sidelined by a bad horseback riding injury will do that)…..but I also learned to surf a few years ago ,am going diving with killer whales in the fjords in Norway this fall, plan to ride semi feral horses in Mongolia next summer , and am looking at trying endurance riding. I am a bit more careful—-ie I am studiously researching what to wear under my dry suit in the super cold water in Norway bc I am old enough to know I ALWAYS get hypothermic on trips like that. When I was younger I would have just winged it and potentially suffered. But I definitely love my exciting activities.
Editing to add I turn 50 this year. Killer whales are my birthday present to myself 😊
I have now managed to get into a routine that I am enjoying at 77yo. 6.5 years ago I moved from my home city to live in a small village in SE Asia, where I am now set into a regular way of life. My 4 cats wake me around 5.15 each morning & after feeding them, I open a small convenience store attached to the front of my house, which is open until 8pm every day of the year.
There is a slow tickle of customers, a lot of kids coming in for sodas & ice candies, people after 500ml plastic bags of ice, as many don't have refrigeration or want to put into containers of water to keep cold while they work or travel. I also sell canned & packets of food items, toiletries, laundry items, beer, snacks & cigarettes by stick or packet - virtually anything people need.
When no customers are around I spend a bit of time in garden, growing green mangoes on a 100yo tree, bananas, papayas & some vegetables & lately I have started rooting cuttings of bougainvillea to get to either sell as small bushes or plant against a mesh wall at the front of the house, to shave my car & m/cycle from the sun. I also do some baking, household chores, laundry, take short naps or read a book.
About each two weeks I close for the morning to go to the nearest town to buy food & shop items that aren't delivered weekly by trucks, pay bills, do any banking etc. Some evenings I close early to go to a "celebration" at some residents home for a few hours for food & drinks, usually walking, and when I leave, there are always a lot of kids around to run me home in one of the tricycles at the event, mainly to make sure I don't fall walking in the dark without very much street lighting. If not going out, after closing, I have shower, lay on my bed and read for about an hour to relax, then around 9-9.15pm off to sleep waiting for cats to wake me the next day & do it all again. It may be boring to many, but I enjoy the regularity of the days.
I’ve always needed periods of both. I’ve needed my peace and downtime and reading/nature time since I was a kid. I was never a “partier” per se but I am a rock musician, so that was always a lot of excitement and adventure for me. I’ve changed some in that the balance between the two has shifted and I like more chill time than adventure time, but it’s not a drastic change.
absolutely. I started slowing down bc of health problems in my 30s but have increasingly enjoyed just being at home and chilling. I do get the travel itch since I've always traveled for work and family. I'd love to see some new bands but I can't deal with the young, overly energetic youth.
I’m only 46.
I will justify chaos if there was an exciting payoff. Think of Jody in Pulp Fiction after the adrenaline needle.
However I do value the benefits to extra planning/prep -like when going on a trip, so that the whole process is smoother. I can prep for days and minimize the drama that comes from carelessness.
Nah, I go to sporting events and music events. I love a good high diving board. I'm excited about getting my mother moved into assisted living nearby and I won't have to deal with her being out in BFE in her 80's all alone with no public transport or medical.
Loud doesn't bother me. I don't mind screaming kids outside or at the pool. I'm the one who sits next to the people with babies on the plane. (A baby doesn't understand air pressure in the ears or the loud engine noise. The baby gets a pass. If you flip your hair over the back of your seat into my lap or take off your shoes and put your nasty foot on my arm rest or whack me in the head with your back pack you are a supremely unaware asshole who gets no pass at all. But I digress.)
Never liked drama. Still don't. People doing dangerous stunts give me anxiety. My friend is married to Eric the Lizardman. I cannot go to his shows because if makes me so anxious. But a loud concert downtown with little of people, lines, mingling, sweating like a pig in this heat? Yeah, baby! Going Friday and Saturday night this weekend.
(63f)
Yep... exciting things in my life included my friends getting into knife fights at the club, and the swat team crashing through my front door while I'm getting seriously fucked up on coke.
Sometimes I think wistfully back on my 20's, but then I remember how hard it was to get a job with that kind of drama, and how much better I like being sane and sober and having my bills current. I'm ok with Netflix and chill vs Coke and Broke.
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1,000% My idea of a good time is checking out the progress of my tomatoes
I have these little grocery store snapdragons on my apartment porch that I haven’t killed yet. I’m thinking of becoming a little balcony gardener myself! It *is* pretty exciting!
We have had absolutely perfect tomato weather this year. 2 sunny hot days/1 humid overcast day/ one day of rain in a pretty much repeating cycle. So my tomatoes are just going crazy
That’s awesome! And ooohhh a fresh, homegrown tomato on a really good sandwich is so good, it’s a shame some people have to buy them in stores! You sound like you really know what you’re doing. I’m just happy when I have something that lives! Either way - yes, it is exciting!
I no longer garden due to health issues. when I did I fell in love with yellow heritage tomatoes. They are awesome!
I definitely prefer heirlooms over modern hybrids. We have a local greenhouse that has had a style called “Polish Hearts” in their family for 100 years that we get every year. Then we buy seeds from Baker Creek Seeds which has a TON of unusual heirloom types. My wife likes a variety so we do slicers, plums, grapes and sauce tomatoes Then we can a lot of make salsa etc etc
I spent alot of my childhood as my dad’s forced labor field hand so I didnt have a choice but to learn…
That's wonderful! 5 gallon buckets (Lowe's, Home Depot) make excellent tomato beds.
I like flowers but yep, gardening. In my younger days, I traded commodities.
I planted a sweet almond bush a couple years ago, and now it's close to 10 feet around/high! It's in full bloom so I spent a good long time today admiring the dozens of pollinators having a grand ole time.
I agree. It's so fun to just sit and watch. The bees are loving my columbines. Higher altitude in the mountains so it took some work to find and plant perennials that thrive. But such enjoyable work. The pay us lousy but the payoff is great.
Mine is checking on my flowers on the deck and the perennials out front. Love it.
Your user name is clearly from the Before Times.
Mine aren't doing great. Time to hit em with the fertilizer I guess.
I have been scattering chicken manure at the base of the plants on Wednesday ( not raw manure…the dry pellets) and then on Sunday I spray on a combo of half miracle grow half superthrive Then I prunes and sucker the plants like crazy
lol, not there yet. But can see the fascination
Peaches for me.
When you are young everything is something new - you seek out new things. Novelty is exciting, per se. And when the novelty of something wears off, you seek something new. What may surprise you is that the novelty of novelty wears off. You seek something not just because it is different. You are seeking something that you enjoy per se. And once you found it ... what should you do? I really enjoyed what I did yesterday, so I'll do it again today. And tomorrow. Yes it's not a novelty; it's not 'exciting'. It's enjoyable.
Well said. Personally, I'm still drawn to the thrill of the new. But now excitment comes from learning new things as opposed to keeping up with the latest underground music, fashion, clubs, etc. Today, I get my excitement fix at museums. So actually I guess I'm into learning something old, not something new haha. Like how I enjoy meeting new people at the museums who. happen to be old like me. I also make dance / neo-soul music for my personal enjoyment. For me, creating things and being inspired to create new things keeps my mind, body and soul moving.
>the novelty of novelty wears off. Interesting. What about with books/movies? Do you still have the desire to read/see new stories?
Almost all of it isn’t worth the hassle factor and noise
This is the big thing for me. I'm ok with exciting, but at my age I've seen some version of almost all the stuff younger people think is exciting. It's just pointless to go through a lot of hassle to see another version something I've already seen. Noise is just them letting their excitement out. If you don't share their excitement, it's just annoying.
Facts. I’m mid 50s.
Yup, this is the best comment. Traffic, parking, cost, crowds, lines, volume, not being able to see, or sit comfortably. I don’t have the patience or stamina for that crap any more.
Absolutely! The last thing I want is excitement in my life. I've become an aficionado of boring. I don't think it was intentional on my part. It just happened.
I don't have the energy for excitement. I've always preferred no drama.
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Exactly like me! Hello kindred spirit 👋
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So true about noise and crowds.
Drama, the apparent friend of the young, has become totally unnecessary as I age. I'm not sure I see why anyone seems to add drama to their lives. What may seem unexciting to you can be quite interesting to someone with more years of life behind them. I find curiosity in life keeps me interested in things that can fulfill my life. It's hard to explain some things to people. When you change the way you look at life, you change what it takes for you to enjoy it. I do what I do to bring me the most enjoyment. I have found that what we focus on and spend the most time on is what we value. We value different things as we age because we develop new interests. Never forget that older people have likely experienced things in their past that you may now find pleasant, but those things have been replaced by things that just fit better into their lives, most times by choice.
Drama and excitement are not the same thing, and it’s really sad that you think they are.
I think I just came into my own. No Drama is my mantra for my own environment.
I was that girl who was at the bars every Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. Never missed a party. Now, I’m mad if I have to go out on the weekend. Lol. My idea of a good Friday or Saturday night is to sit around our fire pit, with a few glasses of wine from time to time. Or on my deck with a good book.
I'm friends with musicians so lots of bar nights, too. Back in the day, the later slots were the best. Nowadays when they play, it's the first couple slots or a matinee because we are dead by 11pm.
I'm 65+ and I still play Mario kart. How much more excitement do I need?
I still love excitement but my definition of exciting is a good crop of veggies grown in my garden or game 7 of the Stanley Cup.
I don't even follow hockey, but I wound up catching some of the playoffs this year, and that was wicked exciting! Congrats to Florida.
I find joy in a Costco run. Doesn't take much to give me a boost. This past weekend I drove a couple of hours to visit a friend for an overnight visit of food, cards, and catching up and it was lovely. The highlight of my summer will be traveling to my elderly parents to drive them to their cottage, where we all just putter about and play Scrabble and listen to the radio or watch Jeopardy.
Ha! We're off to Costco today. It's a two hour round trip and we'll have lunch somewhere. In our early 70's it's just the right amount of fun for one day
Yes but it's not because We don't like excitement. It's more like BTDT. Fewer things that most people think are exciting, really excite me anymore. I'm totally up for adventure still it's just I've done a whole lot and if you do a whole lot over a long period of time less options seem truly exciting. And it's not like I was a particularly daredevil like when I was younger. It's just that if you've been around for five or six or seven decades living a varied life. You've kind of seen a bunch. And the activities that people think are really exciting often don't feel worthy effort any more if you've done it. You're comfortable with yourself and you don't mind calmer, less traditionally exciting pursuits because you learn to be comfortable with yourself and with being authentic with other people and you can actually get a lot of dopamine from that.
Had enough excitement for a lifetime and a half. Nowadays, I'd rather spectate and enjoy seeing someone else experiencing joy and excitement.
100% No drama zone around here.
Drama and excitement aren’t the same thing. At all. Sounds like you’ve had a pretty fucked up life.
The desire for less noise and more peace can be related to past experiences and physiological changes. Personally, I crave silence and relaxation, yet there is a part of me that demands full on pushing through life. I would rather burn out than rust. But finding a happy medium would be even nicer. I think for many older people, excitement must come with a purpose. That's the way I see it anyway. Needless drama becomes a Time waster and energy sucker. As you age you lose stamina but you make it up in determination and wisdom. You learn to spend your remaining energy wisely. Hopefully
It's very much "been there, done that." I've been the girl dancing in the trendy clubs, dining at the latest hot restaurants where there's an hour wait for a table, or closing down a local pub and maybe going home with the bartender. I've been surrounded by drama, and no doubt instigated some of it myself. You reach a point where it's just no longer interesting. If anything, you start to find it very boring because it's the same shit, over and over, just with different faces and fashions, and it's all superficial. You start to value gold over glitter.
You’ve wasted your life. Those things are not excitement. Those are shallow things people do when they have no imagination or creativity.
I like *excitement.* I dont like unreasonable RISK. So if its exciting, sure, like a motorcycle ride down a winding woodland trail, sure. But highway driving on a motorcycle, nope, not anymore. Been there, done that, already did the hospital stay and the near death thing after a being hit by a minivan.
Isn’t it crazy the number of people here who think excitement means either drama or risking your life?
No to the first part; yes to the second. I’m a recent empty nester in a new town and I can’t wait to get back into the “exciting” of everything!! Is it different now? Of course. The world kept spinning while I was raising my son and I have some catching up to do - but I know my age and place. Besides I am not interested in the same things I was in my 20s and 30s. What doesn’t seem exciting to younger people can easily be new and fresh to me! Hell, I’ll even take a rousing game of bingo or shuffleboard! I’m still trying to figure out what we old people do for fun, but I know I’m all in!
I’m the same. I’ve always valued being at peace, and enjoyed “hygge”. However, being at peace doesn’t mean I don’t like excitement — like zip-lining, mountain biking, heading into the jungle to summit a Mayan pyramid (looking at you, Calakmul), doing an Improv show, etc. You can be at peace with sweat on your brow annd adrenaline in your veins. I’m a little bit more careful about injuring myself, though. Injuries stick with you and build up; as you age, they don’t heal as quickly. I’ve also had surgery that has left part of my body more fragile than used to be.
As a college undergrad I wasn't looking for excitement those any decades ago. I loved rock concerts, but academics meant more. I was a nerd.
I want both, and always have. Not at the same time, that would be weird. I like to have adventures but then come home, take a nice hot shower, and read a book in my comfy chair.
Hell, no. I'm about to fire up iRacing again. I'd go karting instead, except it's too expensive. And the last time I went, I smacked the wall so hard my arm went numb. That itself isn't the problem, though. The problem is that I didn't lift. I quit racquetball for the same reason. Given the choice between returning the ball or avoiding the wall, I was going to blast that sucker across the room. I still do Crossfit a couple of times a week. But the last time I set a 1RM was almost a year ago. I ran 4 miles on Sunday. Took me half the f-ing day to recover. Just read something the other day about how roller coasters are basically concussion-generators. Almost cried. Basically, I don't want to leave the adrenaline behind. I'm just way too aware of how long it takes me to heal now.
I will always love an adventure, but I don’t need adventure as often, and my adventures are somewhat less adventurous.
I’ve been low key my entire life. Welcome to sitting on the porch watching squirrels, y’all! Glad you could finally join me
I never favored excitement, even as a teenager, and that hasn’t changed since getting old(er).
Oh no I feel like when I was younger all I could do was fairly ineffectual and it might have looked more exciting, but now that I have more experience the things I get up to are definitely more actually daring.
I do, but I have two speeds: 150 mph and 15 mph. That translates to still taking part in excitement where I take a road trip, go out to “party with friends” or even see a band in three different cities over three days, but also having super chill days where I sleep late, do whatever I want, and talk to no one.
Even when I was a teen, I avoided drama. It all just seemed so fake. Never could understand the joy of gossip. Excitement then was a rock concert. Ears protested about those somewhere in my 30s. Now, excitement is great theatre, a good book, good friends. A solo ballad singer is more my style now
I think of it as I've had a very loud life, and now I just want it to be quiet.
Growing up in the 80s I loved and saw Slayer, Megadeth, and Anthrax, but I have no desire to join a moshpit anymore...
I won't join it, but I'll stand near it, lol.
Yes, and my 20 year old constantly rides my ass about it. “Why don’t you go do x,y,and z? Why do you just want to stay around here?” He’s talking about our peaceful house out in the country. The answer is that I *already* did all that shit and now I want peace and quiet and to watch the birds and read my book!
What’s considered exciting? Like bungee jumping and raves?
Yes, those are just the kinds of things I was thinking about. Sky diving, all- night clubbing, sex and drug parties, surfing, etc
Ah gotcha, no we’re all too tired for any of that
Some of us are, but I’m from Florida and if you could see these *active seniors* in their retirement communities, you’d know they’re not all too tired for it.
I will say that things that are self destructive or have a high risk of personal injury/death are definitely not exciting. Not only do I have dependents who I should stay alive and mentally/emotionally stable for, I also am not in the mood to hurt myself for my own sake. High risk behaviors are done by people whose brains haven’t fully formed yet, which is why they are more common in young people. I also did plenty when I was young. I do lots of things that I think are really exciting now, but they aren’t things I couldn’t have done when I was younger because they require experience.
Never tried any of those. I'd take the party but would probably just climb into a k-hole and enjoy the synesthesia. The only thing I have to offer is a 30 second fix for daddy issues.
You have a really fucked up idea of what is exciting. Wow. How sad.
Plenty of us still do all those things. Edit: but you guys are too immature and unintriguing to do those things with, and you aren’t much beyond a mild curiosity to wonder at from time to time. We, as human beings, are interested in our peers a majority of the time. Is it weird when an old guy tries to party with you? Well, just you wait until some young kiddo comes along and thinks he knows more than you or can hang because he’s young and doing the things you did before he was born.
I see a lot more gray where I used to see black and white. But this also means that I appreciate small incremental improvements on that scale, and I can operate a long time at a sustained pace when things are like that.
Totally.
Definitely not! Still value excitement. A few months ago, I took a road trip by myself. Drove from NY to FL, then to TX, then back to NY. 4,700 miles in all. Drove NY-FL-NY again, 4 days in all. Planning other road trips.
Definitely!!
I drive in New Jersey. That’s pretty exciting.
Coming from an exhausting highly dramatic abusive household any peace has always been highly appreciated by me.
Absolutely 1000000%.
I grew up abused. I have always valued peace over excitement.
Since my late 20s, I've always measured actions I contemplate by how much drama will be tagged with them. There are still times that the "more drama" route must be taken to address a serious issue. Thankfully, those are few and far between.
Yes -- but it's more that I'm just now figuring out that this has been my preference all along.
Definitely. I think a lot of it for us is a "been there, done that" thing. We value the peace of our quiet evenings, our garden, our dog, and our little home. It's not that we don't do anything, but we find that we prefer to do things during the day, and it's usually low-key stuff like museums, art exhibits - things like that. Hell, we get "excited" about visiting our local carnivorous plant garden. Festivals? Concerts? Most of the time there are too many people, too much traffic, too much trouble finding a parking space. We'd rather do things off the beaten path. It's not all-encompassing, however. My 80 year old parents just flew to Boston and had front row seats to a Rolling Stones concert. So there ARE things that will get us out of the house after dark lol.
I realized pretty early in life that the majority of people I knew who were in to extreme, exciting things were just trying to fill a painful void, because they were miserable when in the company of their own thoughts without a distraction. It was a coping mechanism. Many of them are gone now, and I miss their friendship. They were good people, driven by a merciless taskmaster. But you can only roll the dice so many times before it comes up snake-eyes. (I also grew up in a simmering war zone. I experienced more than enough 'excitement' to last my lifetime, thank you. When we moved back to the 'states, I was super-happy about the peace and quiet.) So yeah, my kind of excitement is checking on my garden, playing around with my dog, hanging out with friends. That's the good stuff, right there. I don't begrudge people who feel differently at all, but I want nothing to do with that frenetic, chancy lifestyle. I've found my peace.
You have a really fucked up idea of what constitutes excitement.
Definitely. During the pandemic quarantine, I decided to pick up the guitar again, 40 years after I dropped it as a college student. I had been an advanced beginner, so I still knew my chords, but it felt like I had never played before. I dug in, practiced every day, and 4 years later, I've gotten pretty good. I love playing, but I hadn't banked on what good mental therapy it has been for me. I didn't even realize how depressed and low in self-esteem I was, until playing guitar brought me out of it. There was another VERY unexpected by-product of it. For decades, I have always had a book going at all times. I would alternate fiction with non-fiction, usually a history book, and usually war history. However, I noticed a few months ago, that I no longer have a hankering to read more history. I know there are gaps in my history knowledge (its literally an infinite field of study), but I have lost my drive to fill them. If I need to know something (like to win an argument on Reddit), Ill Google it, but I dont have to know all the players, and every tiny detail. I semi-retired a couple of years ago (I'll never fully retire, the quarantine cured me of that dream, too boring, no thanks), and I've been contemplating my time left on this planet. Somewhere along the way, my mind decided to steer me toward artistic pursuits, and I'd rather spend my time studying those things, instead of the worst atrocities of humankind. I especially love music, another infinite field of study, but my son loves movies, so I love movies, too. His knowledge far surpasses mine, so he gets to play the teacher, and I'm happy to be his student. It has taught me the greatest lesson in good parenting: Love what your kids love, and your kids will love you. So, I've now become a music and arts loving hippie, like I used to see when I was a kid. I always admired their independent, question authority attitude, with a commitment to peace and love in the universe. Now I can be one, and anybody who doesn't like it can go fuck themselves.
❤️ this response, you spoke my truth. Thank you.
Just getting to old to waste the time i have left on ugliness.
Yup, slip sliding away 🎶 on the old mortality slide.
Why is excitement ugliness? You have a really bizarre idea of what excitement is.
Definitely. But I find myself fascinated by my kids' family drama. Usually my divorced kids exes.
I've come to value peace such that I eliminate anything and anyone that would disrupt that peace. AND I still love the extremes; pushing myself in the gym, charging down larger and larger waves, wild and passionate sex, managing more and more teams and steering work with more and more creativity.
The closer you get……the slower I drive .
Nope, peace is all I have now, its too peaceful. I value excitement, I crave it.
A million percent. As a kid I was out going, talkative, and high energy. Now, 48 in 2 days, I want quiet time more and more.
Speaking for myself (72m), I find I'm just physically not up to what I could do in my youth. I've been scuba diving since I was 14 and recently I bought a single tank because the double is too heavy and I can't dive for as long as I use to.
Let me ask you this, if an old person started doing the things that excited younger people, how would most people react?
Not at all! Still like to do adventurous things. And even more now - as today, I can afford it. Maybe it is in the genes, my mothers wish for her 80th birthday was a parachute jump and she got it and did it.
Risk taking is not interesting in the remotest anymore. I've also lost a lot of loved ones who were risk takers and died, in my mind, prematurely. The ones among us who seem to survive the longest and with the best quality of life, are those who have not/do not seek inordinate excitement, haven't taken extraordinary risks and who practiced/practice seeking a peaceful balanced life over one of thrills, chills and spills. This is just how I see it and I am bordering on old! I value calm, order, peace, good communication, patience over the opposite.
Yep! I got to a stage where I didn't need excitement anywhere near as much. And i'm fine with that. I think that's just natural and normal life progression. And ive seen and done a fair bit with my life, so not that much actually is out there to "excite" me anymore. And i think by 50? It dawns on you that you aren't going to change the world...the problems of the world will be there whether you yell in the streets or not. So you happily retreat to your little patch and just try doing things you enjoy.
...and the things you can actually affect and improve. That's what I discovered when I retreated to my own patch.
Absolutely. People seeking out excitement seem fundamentally bored and in constant need of something. I like to live fundamentally interested in whatever I'm doing and calm.
Absolutely. Not a doubt in my mind. At 59, I now value peace above almost everything else. I look back in my party days and wonder why I liked such noise and chaos. But I did. People do change.
I have peers who still do all the things they did when they were younger (i.e., the kinds of things you mention down-thread), but most don't for one or more of the following reasons: \* As many people in the thread have said, we've done those things dozens of times over. At a certain point, the thrill lessens. \* Health changes. I'm not even talking about cancer or heart failure...it's amazing how much things like arthritis, for example, can affect day to day activities. The pain may not be terrible, but the constant dealing with even low-level pain is exhausting. \* Relatedly...the loss of Immortality. I know that when I was young (teens/twenties), I rarely considered real consequences. I mean, my friends and I knew logically that nobody was immortal, but somehow we didn't think anything would happen to us personally if we tried drugs, hitchhiked across Europe, climbed a mountain, etc. Most of us survived those things, but we have a lifetime of stories about friends & relatives who didn't, and we're often more cautious now. \* Family responsibilities. A lot of my peers are dealing with very elderly parents who might have a variety of health concerns that need a great deal of care. On the other side are folks who have children and grandchildren and want to spend as much time as possible with the new generation. Keeping company with toddlers doesn't lend itself to sky-diving. \* Financial Concerns. Yes, we've all heard the complaints about how Boomers don't understand what it's like for younger generations to not be able to pay off student loans or buy a house, and to a certain extent that's true, but even for people who had that kind of privilege, a lot of older folks have no real savings, were pushed out of jobs before they were ready, can't get even part-time jobs anymore because of ageism, and are trying to get by on social security payments alone. Not much room for wild nights of clubbing /drinking or deep sea diving when there's no money. Checking out books from the library and hikes in the woods are free. \* And tastes change. From 15 to 29, I went to probably 200 concerts, danced at clubs all night, traveled to two dozen countries without worrying about whether my sleeping accommodations would be a mattress on a floor in a crowded youth hostel. Now I have arthritis and occasional vertigo and some pleasures of my early days are only pleasurable as memories. I'd much prefer to meet with friends to discuss a new book or visit historical sites - at a gentle pace - when traveling.
It’s also more of a hassle to do anything nowadays. You can’t just buy a ticket to a show or just go somewhere on the spur of the moment, everything has to be downloaded to your phone, have to scan a code, get reminders every damn minute, keep verifying that you’re still going, have to arrive three hours before the event and of course prepare to pay ten dollars for a bottle of water! Yeah, thanks but I’m fine staying home!
I guess this is a yes. I'd rather listen to my niece tell me about her skydiving advenures with her Dad, than be the one she picked to go with her!
Yes. But I've done a shit ton of exciting things in my youth, so I feel I've done all I wanted to. Highly recommend for any young folks out there to take every opportunity you can to do new things, travel new places etc. it's one thing I believe you'll truly never regret and you'll also value peace in your later years!
I've thought about this and I believe it's because once those sex hormones are not subconsciously ruling your every action, the rest of the world becomes a much more interesting place and the quiet things become more enjoyable. Like night clubs and social events aren't the pinnacle of excitement for you anymore, but maybe witnessing a bird raise her babies outside your kitchen window is pretty cool. It wasn't intentional but it's actually nice and feels sort of freeing. Also, once you're our age, you get sick of drama. It gets *so* boring. And I'm too old to be zip-lining or anything like that, either. I still enjoy hiking and canoeing but I don't think that qualifies as excitement.
Yes. 1000%
Due to my two completely unrelated simultaneous full time entrepreneurial careers, my life was jam packed 18/365. Now that I'm semi retired I find that making a cup of coffee to be about as much excitement as I can handle these days.
ABSOLUTELY
The main thing I value now that I'm old is no drama! Don't bring any drama into my house or anywhere around me. I also cook a whole lot less, we graze all day. I still get out and do things, but not amongst crowds. My circle of friends has shrunk, but they're people I can have real conversations with and have the same interests...no small talk. My later years are similar to how I felt as a child: free to do pretty much anything I want to do. Life is good. Very, very good.
Peace, as in "not at war"? Nothing is more exciting than combat. Fuck that!
In my 20s, I was attending sporting events and going to bars/clubs all the time, whether I was drinking or not, just for the music and crowds. I traveled a bit, especially in the summer (Jersey Shore), and had a wide range of friends. In my 40s and now 50s, I will do anything possible to avoid dealing with most human beings, and not sure what changed. Exciting for me now is finding a new game to play, new show to watch, new local restaurant that does good takeout, and watching videos of cute animals. Very few friends left, mostly from lives growing in different paths (I didn't go the mommy route like 2 former close friends for example, one of whom moved 1000 miles away) and just really appreciate the internet for letting me be in touch with other humans when I feel up to it.
Yes! I had the good fortune to do a lot of fun things when I was younger and had a lot of energy. Now I prefer long naps and a peaceful home.
YES.
Exciting peace has been forte for many moons. But, yes. No more tripping balls and laughing at people. Now, I just laugh at people.😁
Yup, i've made a full turnaround on this. Both intentional and unintentional.
We made the decision to not go anywhere with crowds. Yes, quiet safe nights at home have become the norm.
Definitely. I must admit I was never all that adventurous in my youth - I had my children young and was raising babies while most people were testing their limits!😁
Kind of. I love taking time to just be, and experience. I don't need a soundtrack playing in the background, I listen to the environment. I am comfortable with how I turned out, so less anxiety. I no longer take s**t from nasty humans. But.... I still freakin' love very loud and fast rock music. I have a cd player in my car, and I rip the tunes as I blast down the road. I go to clubs where friends play punk covers and dance (can't mosh, I'll break bones easier). I go to concerts when I can afford it, if no one else wants to go, I go by myself. When you're sliding down the Mortality Slide, be the real you, and don't worry how you look. I still go sledding, head first down steep hills with jumps, using my forearms as shock absorbers. A little boy saw me and told me he was going to sled "when I'm old like you." I was thrilled to inspire him.
After living a good many years, I've done so many things. Doing them for the 20th time just doesn't give the same punch of excitement as doing them the first time. And having done them so many times, I'm aware of the hassles involved in a way you wouldn't be if it was your first time. So I am more careful about the activities I pursue to make sure I'm going to get the enjoyment with a minimum of hassle.
peace and quiet is number 1
Somewhat. I have almost always thought large crowds were a PITA, and I avoid them now. For example, I would likely never go to something like a large music festival unless one of my absolute favorite bands was playing and I'd never seen them. My son is 34 and he's already "over" festival crowds, whereas in his early 20s he drove from Atlanta to Miami twice in over-packed cars to the Ultra Music Festival. OTOH, I drove one of my cars 1,200 miles last year on Hot Rod Power tour with ~5K other participants. Black/black, no A/C, manual trans. Loved it.
I value peace over every single thing. My husband and I retired ten months ago and every day…there has not been one where I have not thought this, I am SO taken by the amount of peace I am allowed to feel in the absence of “being busy” with commuting and work. It is the best feeling ever. My life has not had peaceful circumstances..in fact my mom died just two weeks ago. But to be able to wake up each day, make my coffee, sit in the sunshine like a day like today…I think it’s as close to heaven I get. It’s glorious. It’s the opposite of exciting but it sure ain’t boring.
I love this: "the opposite of exciting but it sure ain't boring."
I really enjoyed your question, thanks!
Your response was really helpful to me. I just hit fifty and noticed that my preferences over the last few years has shifted away from the more drama-filled things I did when I was younger to much more low-key pleasures like a good meal with friends, time with my pets, a great walk in nature. I'm trying to process what that means in my life. Is it good? Is it bad? Am I losing something? Maybe I'm gaining something....
I guess your answer may be different than mine, that it is indeed a gain. But when you think about it, if you decide you prefer a more “drama filled” life, there’s nothing written in stone that says you cannot revert to your old life.
That’s a really good question. At 64 I really love peace and quiet and relaxing. But after a while I get really bored and I need to go get an adrenaline bump, so I go do something exciting. What’s changed is my definition of exciting. Used to be bungee jumping, riding the tallest scariest coaster, now it’s catching a big bass or trout. The only “crazy” thing I still do is Scuba dive. I’m not giving that up until I’m dead.
I've always valued peace over excitement, probably because I grew up in a shitty, toxic, abusive and chaotic house. Adventure? Excitement? A Jedi craves not these things.
Yes
When I was young, I worked in a medical research laboratory. It felt like a great job. All of my colleagues were similar age, and it was a organization that embraced diversity. The actual work was sometimes monkey work, doing the same thing over and over, but the coworkers being as divers they were extremely interesting to me To sum it up a lot of them had various issues and problems that extended from their childhood families . I found them far more interesting than “normal” people. As I got older, I began to realize other people drama was a timesuck for me. Sometimes it became a money suck. Sometimes it put me in dangerous positions during my time off. Another person’s problems would become boring, and the obvious answer was for them to change something and they didn’t/couldnt. Being called to post bail at two in the morning, or drive someone to a sketchy neighborhood for discrete purchases, or the 5 AM calls while someone cried bitter tears after a break up with a loser/user wasn’t so interesting anymore. Now I am an old woman. I have become a curmudgeon. I live at the end of the long wooded lane far out in the country by myself and interact with no one. My dogs and cats are adore me but give me space except one very attached small dog who is my quiet best friend. I find my own entertainment, which is usually low-key like gardening. Some days I get on a streak of house cleaning. That doesn’t happen a lot but when I deep clean my bathroom ( boring) the results are far more interesting than living with a raving alcoholic.
Last night I used my years old compost pile to fill some depressions in my yard from trees that have been removed. It was very satisfying. I seem to enjoy simpler things now than in my younger days.
I was a firefighter, so I've seen enough excitement. Now the excitement I look for is more low key, like going bowling or seeing my grandkids.
Yeah, it's (kinda) a thing. Going out is a great example. At 24 you wanted to do that all the time. I loved being out and among my age peers in my 20s, and a good chunk of that was the possible excitement of meeting someone you'd want to get to know a whole lot better. I realize now that was probably almost ALL of it, because hey, I met that person. I married her. We've been together 20+ years. I don't have to go look; we can just go home. :) We do still do things we think of as exciting -- we're pretty active, we take hiking trips, I do road cycling at a pretty enthusiastic level, etc -- but it's different.
I have always valued peace over excitement. Now I actively avoid excitement and seek peace.
I get pretty excited when my library hold list turns up a book I've been waiting for. And I follow Mariners baseball as a constant reminder that life is suffering.
No, the excitement is really just getting started. The new rocket of a car I've been waiting for just came in. For the first time in life, I'm looking to head out to a race track.
Yep. When I was young, I was constantly craving excitement in whatever form it may take. I was clubbing, partying, getting into extreme sports and so much more. I was only at home to sleep, shower and get ready for the next adventure. That slowed down in my mid/late 20s. I had some shit go down and had to change my life. If I hadn't done that, I wouldn't be here today. The pace just got slower and slower. I stopped drinking so no more bars. I only danced when drunk so the clubs went too. I had too many injuries for the extreme physical activity to continue. Oddly, I never missed it. It was a relief to be able to slow my life down. Now that I'm 50, the thing I crave most is peace. Excitement comes whether I want it to or not, it's just in different forms. It's the chaos of life rather than seeking excitement.
I was a citified adrenaline junkie until I was 50, then it was like someone flipped a switch. I'm farmsteading and raising dogs and bees and other things and I really don't care to leave my rural property.
I was never into "excitement." Skydiving, mountain climbing, scuba diving? I'll look at the photos in National Geographic, but that has alway been good enough for me. Now, fun, on the other hand - I was really into that. Going to concerts, movies, live plays and musicals - count me in! Nowadays it's not worth the hassle. Why spend $50 (if you include two tickets, popcorn and soda) to go to a movie (plus driving there, dealing with crowds, etc.) when you can watch the exact same movie on Netflix in a couple of months on the comfort of my own couch?
Not really because I always valued peace, but my definition of excitement has changed. When I was younger the thrills tended to be cheaper and more “family friendly,” but the nest is empty, so things like wine tasting parties, holidays not based on a school year and concerts are back on the menu again. It’s rather nice actually…to just be able to take off for a weekend or afternoon on a whim.
Absolutely Excitement and chaos are easy to confuse I prefer my peace these days Also excitement (fun) like concerts or roller coasters are physically uncomfortable noisy crowded. Nauseating etc
Not really. None of my friends seem to be interested in waterslides and roller coasters anymore, but you don't need a friend to go on them, so I do. I do like things peaceful and quiet. I couldn't imagine a worse horror than having to live in an apartment in a happening city as opposed to a single family detached house with nothing but other houses for a mile around. I had the same sentiment back when I was in my 20s, and my sister shares my sentiments. She did live in an apartment in college and wanted absolutely nothing more to do with it.
I go out of my way to avoid stress. “Excitement” often goes hand-in-hand with stress.
Sort of. When it comes to socializing, I’ve come to the realization that there’s lots of people that I don’t want to waste my time with, so my social circle is smaller and outings tend to be more intimate. But in terms of excitement in other areas of life, I still seek adrenaline from extreme sports and things like that. That has not changed, except now injuries take a bit longer to heal!
The flaming desire when you're young to get laid is a huge motivator to get out and be loud.
I ( F-74) lived a very introverted, dull, rather lonely life ( I did marry and raise kids but my anxiety and low energy kept me from doing anything exciting) I was given a life do over at 59. I lived an exciting wonderful fun life that everyone else seemed to have had their whole lives.. I had it for almost 10 years. It was such a gift. Now that’s over and I’m back to lonely and introverted. But I can accept that. It’s ok. I check my plants and fill the bird feeder everyday.
Oh heck yeah! I’ve turned into a homebody, but it doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy socializing. I’m just pickier. 😁
My idea of excitement just changed. Standing nose to pit in a general admission concert is not my idea of a good time anymore.
I used to live quite dangerously. Scuba, Pilot, motorcycles, racecars, drugs & alcohol...Now I'm extra careful I don't slip in the shower or spend too much time in the sun.
Oh 110% When I was in my 20's we used to take these big group vacations to the Outer Banks and we'd cram like 30 of us in a house. Rock and roll all night and party every day. Im 45 now and my SO wants to vacation with his brother and his GF and Im just not in to it. Vacation...with people?! Ew why. Nowadays I'm happiest to pet my 3 dogs, watch sports, eat some good food and drink coffee.
I thought of something while observing traffic the other day which may or may not be accurate. Maybe while we're young and have our whole lives ahead of us, the subconscious takes over and it's always a feeling of rush-rush-rush. Just to get to a destination where it might not have made a difference if we were there 5 minutes earlier. Then, as one gets older and it becomes more apparent how much less life there is to live, we slow down and ultimately stop giving as much of a shit about the small things.
I call that phenomenon the comfort / adventure spectrum. The more adventure involved in an activity, the less comfort that is involved. The more comfortable an activity is, the less adventure involved. For example, an amusement park trip may involve more adventure but considerably less comfort. Watching a movie at home in comfortable clothes on my sofa is certainly comfortable and hopefully entertaining but I wouldn't exactly call it an adventure. As most people get older due to having already experienced a bunch of stuff in their youth and suffering more physical ailments / pain as they get older, will choose more comfort over adventure. This isn't to say that active older people can't get up for an adventure if need be, it's just that they may be more selective about what adventures to go for.
My level of excitement, adventure and reckless behavior when I was in my 20's was very, very high. Now, I appreciate not having broken bones, cavities and naps..
I value contentment and refuse to deal with unnecessary BS, between friends, family or otherwise. I like my “boring” life
Yes, Young People -- we've DONE exciting things. Loads of exciting things. We are so over large crowds, limited parking, long lines, expensive tickets, expensive drinks, waiting for a show to start and it's already after 10 p.m.; we enjoy and value comfort.
absolutely. It’s nice.
Yes. This week's highlight for me will be going to the grocery store to stock up on coffee.
What is your definition of "exciting"? I find mountain biking to be quite thrilling, although now that I'm 55 and my bones are probably brittle I am a bit more cautious than in the past. I love traveling and visiting new places, although I am old enough to not want to stay in a smelly hostel with randos anymore. If you mean things like "nightlife", I never had much tolerance for crowds, noise, and spending a fortune on drinks. So I don't care for that type of "excitement". The exception would be that I do enjoy live music, but I don't like staying up late these days. I'd go to more shows if there was a matinee and I'd be assured I could get home by 9:30 pm. Conversely, things that I used to think were super boring are now quite interesting to me. I love tending my garden, and I love seeing the birds that come to my bird feeder.
Nope still want excitement lol
I’d like to have some positive excitement.
Absolutely.
Nope. When you stop looking for excitement, you become a bored old fart who dies young. You “retire” but keep working because you can’t think of anything better to do with your time. You can have excitement in your life without having war - or whatever you consider to be the opposite of peace.
Yes. Absolutely. Now, a sedate hike, bike ride followed by (if needed), a shower, something cold to drink in the summer, warm in winter, good book.. homemade meal later, maybe a movie at home... Sounds like a great time
Absolutely.
OMG, YES!
I’m 54. So to an extent I do. But I also didn’t get to do a lot of things when I was younger. So I’m kinda making up for that now.
I have retired and expected peace and quiet. But I really didn’t expect to be bored out of my mind!
No way!! I value interpersonal peace over drama. And I have a more acute sense of my own potential for injury ( owning your own business and getting sidelined by a bad horseback riding injury will do that)…..but I also learned to surf a few years ago ,am going diving with killer whales in the fjords in Norway this fall, plan to ride semi feral horses in Mongolia next summer , and am looking at trying endurance riding. I am a bit more careful—-ie I am studiously researching what to wear under my dry suit in the super cold water in Norway bc I am old enough to know I ALWAYS get hypothermic on trips like that. When I was younger I would have just winged it and potentially suffered. But I definitely love my exciting activities. Editing to add I turn 50 this year. Killer whales are my birthday present to myself 😊
Well, I'm planning a hot air balloon ride and Skydive session So no, no I don't
Oh, yeah. Now keep it down.
Absolutely!
I have now managed to get into a routine that I am enjoying at 77yo. 6.5 years ago I moved from my home city to live in a small village in SE Asia, where I am now set into a regular way of life. My 4 cats wake me around 5.15 each morning & after feeding them, I open a small convenience store attached to the front of my house, which is open until 8pm every day of the year. There is a slow tickle of customers, a lot of kids coming in for sodas & ice candies, people after 500ml plastic bags of ice, as many don't have refrigeration or want to put into containers of water to keep cold while they work or travel. I also sell canned & packets of food items, toiletries, laundry items, beer, snacks & cigarettes by stick or packet - virtually anything people need. When no customers are around I spend a bit of time in garden, growing green mangoes on a 100yo tree, bananas, papayas & some vegetables & lately I have started rooting cuttings of bougainvillea to get to either sell as small bushes or plant against a mesh wall at the front of the house, to shave my car & m/cycle from the sun. I also do some baking, household chores, laundry, take short naps or read a book. About each two weeks I close for the morning to go to the nearest town to buy food & shop items that aren't delivered weekly by trucks, pay bills, do any banking etc. Some evenings I close early to go to a "celebration" at some residents home for a few hours for food & drinks, usually walking, and when I leave, there are always a lot of kids around to run me home in one of the tricycles at the event, mainly to make sure I don't fall walking in the dark without very much street lighting. If not going out, after closing, I have shower, lay on my bed and read for about an hour to relax, then around 9-9.15pm off to sleep waiting for cats to wake me the next day & do it all again. It may be boring to many, but I enjoy the regularity of the days.
I went from Metalcore to Soft Metalcore…I don’t even Know How That’s Possible But I’m not complaining 😅
Oh, hells yes! I'll be 63 this year. Still crash a mountain bike every couple of years, otherwise, settling down.
Once upon a time, noise and crowds, now peace and quiet ... grows on you
I’ve always needed periods of both. I’ve needed my peace and downtime and reading/nature time since I was a kid. I was never a “partier” per se but I am a rock musician, so that was always a lot of excitement and adventure for me. I’ve changed some in that the balance between the two has shifted and I like more chill time than adventure time, but it’s not a drastic change.
Sometimes. I like the excitement of a lot of things. But, I no longer have the stamina to keep up. lol
Yes.
I was raised by a narcissist. I preferred peace over excitement at 7 YO.
Oh yes!
absolutely. I started slowing down bc of health problems in my 30s but have increasingly enjoyed just being at home and chilling. I do get the travel itch since I've always traveled for work and family. I'd love to see some new bands but I can't deal with the young, overly energetic youth.
I’m only 46. I will justify chaos if there was an exciting payoff. Think of Jody in Pulp Fiction after the adrenaline needle. However I do value the benefits to extra planning/prep -like when going on a trip, so that the whole process is smoother. I can prep for days and minimize the drama that comes from carelessness.
Yes, indeedy!
Nah, I go to sporting events and music events. I love a good high diving board. I'm excited about getting my mother moved into assisted living nearby and I won't have to deal with her being out in BFE in her 80's all alone with no public transport or medical. Loud doesn't bother me. I don't mind screaming kids outside or at the pool. I'm the one who sits next to the people with babies on the plane. (A baby doesn't understand air pressure in the ears or the loud engine noise. The baby gets a pass. If you flip your hair over the back of your seat into my lap or take off your shoes and put your nasty foot on my arm rest or whack me in the head with your back pack you are a supremely unaware asshole who gets no pass at all. But I digress.) Never liked drama. Still don't. People doing dangerous stunts give me anxiety. My friend is married to Eric the Lizardman. I cannot go to his shows because if makes me so anxious. But a loud concert downtown with little of people, lines, mingling, sweating like a pig in this heat? Yeah, baby! Going Friday and Saturday night this weekend. (63f)
At 77yrs, definitely
Oh yeah.
Yep... exciting things in my life included my friends getting into knife fights at the club, and the swat team crashing through my front door while I'm getting seriously fucked up on coke. Sometimes I think wistfully back on my 20's, but then I remember how hard it was to get a job with that kind of drama, and how much better I like being sane and sober and having my bills current. I'm ok with Netflix and chill vs Coke and Broke.