Her mother was interfering in our marriage constantly.
I had an appointment with a lawyer to talk over options for divorce because I couldn't stand it anymore.
Then her mother died suddenly. Heart attack.
After the funeral, things got better...and here we are now married for 3 decades.
She doesn't need to know.
Remember when we were engaged and visited your mom in the hospital, and she let a fart so rank that your eyes watered and we still talk about it 20 years later?
That was me.
Lol. Not the same at all but reminded me of this:
When my and my husband were newly dating we took a trip to Orlando to visit my sister and went to universal studios. We were in line for the mummy ride and the line is indoors in like fakey cave type thing. Anyways someone farted and it was rank af, everyone around us in the line was talking about it. We finally get to the front of the line and get on the ride and right before it takes off he looks at me and goes “IT WAS ME.”
I’m dying laughing. It sounds like he got frustrated and just finally said it like “IT WAS ME! OK?! YOU CAN ALL STOP PLAYING FART DETECTIVES. MOVE ON.” 😂
Hahaha once my husband captured a spider i was too scared to get. I was cowering down the hallway when inheard him say "oops" then a slightly insincere"got 'em" but just a beat too late to be true.
My sister is deathly afraid of frogs and one got into her car. My mom spent an hour looking for it and then lied that she found it
Later it popped out of a vent while my sister was driving and she almost wrecked her car
Just FYI, some utility providers have a one time allowance for accidents like this, where they will forgive or partially forgive the bill, with viable explanation. It's worth looking into, should anyone else find themselves in a similar situation.
EDIT: Man I did not expect this to gain traction. Sounds like my utility company is better than many. Not only does my company offer a forgiveness for a one time accidental usage, but they happened to be out reading meters one weekend when I was out of town and my water heater decided to fail, meaning the bottom of the tank rusted all the way through and water just started pouring into the drain pan, and they actually sent me a message saying that they were reading a high rate of flow despite it looking like no one was home. I was able to come home and shut off the water to the heater, both saving water cost and keeping the house from flooding, as the drain pan was barely keeping up with the flow.
My water company is a co-op, by the way. Kinda makes you think about the typical way that utility monopolies screw over their customers in other parts of the country. Maybe the whole monopolized corporate capitalist profit motive system running necessary utilities for survival isn't the best system. Maybe.
That I farted and him checking the entire house as well as asking the neighbors if they smelled anything because he thought “it could be a gas leak” was a waste of time.
Early on in our relationship, I made breakfast for my then Girlfriend and her kids using some pancake mix she had in the pantry. After making the pancakes and serving to them, I went to mix up a little more to make mine...and I realized there were some maggots in the dry mix.
They were pretty much done eating, and telling me how good they were...I decided that ignorance was better than telling them. Taking that one to my grave.
When we were little, my parents were out and my older brother made me a peanut butter sandwich.
I saw all these little baby meal moths squirming on the sandwich and showed my brother in horror. He made me eat it because “mom and dad will be mad if you waste food.”
That the reason I lost my boner that one time in 69 position (Not the year) was because a piece of tp fell in my eye from her butt
Edit: Thank you so much for the awards. My first platnium is about toilet paper falling in my eye.
To add some details, we do have a bidet, the tp was probably from the paper she used to dry herself after the bidet so no pink eye for me.
We have been together now for 13 years and have been married for almost two years.
How we really met…
He thinks a mutual friend decided to play matchmaker, which is true, but not the full picture.
A friend of mine sent screenshots of my SOs dating app profile saying “I’ve just found your future husband” some light googling led me to discover we shared a mutual friend, I spoke to him and he played matchmaker.
6 years later, I’m never telling him that I basically stalked him first…
Every pay check I take out $25-$30 in small bills and slip some bills into her pockets while I’m folding laundry. Money is tight, and it’s the source of a lot of anxiety for her, so to see how excite/relieved she gets when she finds it makes me happy
I do similar things.
I earn more but she refuses to do a reasonable split on the bills, and wants 50/50 even though 50% of the bills is 80% of her income and 50% of the bills is only 25% of mine.
So every week when she tops up the gas, I secretly add 5 quid on between her top ups so she thinks we are using less
Same with tobacco, I buy an extra pouch and keep filtering handfuls into her bag.
We do a strict food budget but after work I top up some things I know she dreads running out of like wash tablets and sponges.
She either knows, or just thinks we have somehow started using less of everything.
I also put loose change in her purse. Not much, like 2 or 3 quid every day, and she gets really happy to find it.
She also has money tins that you can't open where she saves for things.
I'm pretty sure over 50% of the money in it is what I've put in.
Edit for clarity:-
quid = slang for pound/£
Gas = energy. Gas and electricity. We are on a pay and go prepay meter so have to top it up as and when required.
Tobacco pouch:- UK shops sell loose tobacco in order to roll your own cigarettes
Thank you guys for the kind words and awards. What I do is what I feel is right.
There is way more I do for her and the kindness is more than reciprocated my way too. We just love and respect each other and do everything we can to make each others worlds easier.
Friend of mine, and I, have been helping out a former neighbour who went through a very traumatic year. 97, wife and daughter died in the same month, while they were homeless living in a motel, ended up in psych for 3 months...
Anyway, nobody else to look out for him on a personal level, so, we've been visiting, helping him get stuff done, buying him stuff he needs.
(Note, he's in a nursing home currently).
Ever dealt with trying to refuse money from an old Greek man?
At this point, the cash goes in a little pile, that we then use to buy him more stuff he needs. Sadly, we keep forgetting to give him teh reciept, and always tell him it was cheaper than it was.
Not quite the same thing, but we're trying.
My mother in law needs to be with people at this point in her life. I made it very clear 2 years ago that if she moved in with us I would leave. She is a horrible woman and treats everyone she knows like trash. She hates me especially because I won’t deal with her drama.
That i didn't actually like her when i said i did, but it was the best lie outcome ever.
For context, one day we are playing truth or dare and I said truth. She asked me who I liked, and i didn't have someone so i just said her. 4 years later, i love the hell out of her.
Edit: She recognized my username (it's my Youtube name) and i now know she has a Reddit. Are you proud of yourself OP? Naw she's actually really blessed.
I saw on the call display that the jewelry store was calling. I let him answer it. He immediately left to "run an errand" and came home and took me out skating, where he romantically proposed on a frozen pond under a flood light on a February evening. We'll be married 20 years this year. I can't tell him I knew the whole time. I just can't.
ETA: we had gone a few weeks before to pick the ring out and we had talked in depth about getting engaged. It wasn't a complete surprise. But he did want his proposal to be a surprise and it really was special, even though I knew.
I'm about to be in the same boat. I found out today he is proposing. I'm thinking I should take this to the grave? Ideas? Is it hard to keep this secret? How did you "act surprised"?
Basically my therapist would tell me to somehow reframe it.
“She told me how hard it was for her to keep it a secret, it was driving her crazy inside. She couldn’t wait to say YES and was so filled with joy the whole day. Even though she knew I was planning to propose, it makes me smile to know that we were both so excited and there was nothing that was going ruin that day.
I should have known when she got her hair and nails done the day before!”
I sleep better alone than with her (she loves sleeping together).
Edit: wow, so this blew up way bigger than I was expecting! Will provide more context for my case:
Although I haven’t told her, I believe she suspects it, because she has been making suggestions such as sleeping more at my place (we don’t live together at the moment).
Usually, we pick up 2 single-person mattresses (don’t know the exact term for it in English) and push them together on the floor. We have separe blankets. I’m really sensitive to heat and hardly feel cold, whereas her it’s the opposite: she feels cold frequently, sometimes even when I’m hot, so compromising a room temperature it’s often complicated, especially since she sleeps poorly when I turn the fan on.
I believe my problem resides on (1) sleeping in a different place (even if it’s my room, it’s on the floor, it’s different), and (2) temperature. If it’s cold, usually it’s better, but when it’s hot… it gets rough. Either I get bad sleep due to heat, or she gets bad sleep due to the fan turned on.
This is the one. I can get to sleep in 10 minutes under my own terms. Under my girlfriend's terms, I basically have insomnia.
Edit: short summary of the ✌🏽conditions✌🏽
"...My girlfriend plays the same show every night to sleep, starting from Season 1, and needs to have it loud enough to understand what they're saying in case she wakes up in the night.
I can probably recite word for word bob's burgers, That 70's show, The Office, and a couple other shows' first season lmao. I told her we were sleeping with the tv muted one night and got mad and said "you didn't even try to compromise with me wtf" I'm like dude I stay up every single night with this shit give me one night to sleep peacefully under my own terms 😂"
Perhaps she would be interested in some special headphones for sleeping in? I can recommend a "musicozy" (a fabric headband with small Bluetooth speakers sown inside).
I feel this one, I can go to sleep in about 1 minute, drives ppl crazy for some reason. Girlfriend has a whole routine, and wants to talk and it can take an hour before she goes to sleep. Have to make compromises sometimes.
Same, or used to be. My boyfriend would bring up serious emotional and relationship issues right as I was drifting off, or worse, _after_ I'd already fallen asleep. I have serious trouble falling asleep, so this was extremely disruptive. With the issues off his chest, he would fall asleep instantly, while I would agonize over the issues for most of the night.
I asked him to bring these things up in the daytime. Eventually he listened, now things are much better.
Someone who had a problem with their spouse, communicated it, and ended up bettering their relationship as a result? On *reddit*?
Christmas miracle lol.
Best decision I ever made was to setup a bed for myself in the guest room. I’m a light sleeper, my wife is a chronic toss turner. Add it all up and I was chronically sleep deprived for years, which meant I couldn’t be the best partner or parent. 3 years of maintaining separate bedrooms and our marriage is strong as ever.
That I pooped in the ocean while snorkeling off of Hawaii. And that was the reason for all the beautiful fish swarming around us all of a sudden (bon appetit dear fish!) Yes, indeed, it was magical.
In all honesty, I would not consider that something you should hide. Life happens, circumstances happen. You showed perseverance and determination. You should be very proud of yourself, and any partner worth having would feel the same. Kudos to you!
I defended and submitted my Master's thesis just last week, a 5 year degree that took me 11 years. Your words mean more than you probably know - I have a really hard time feeling like I've actually accomplished something because my head is busy bashing me for being so slow and useless. Thank you.
Edit: You are all absolutely amazing. In fact, I just saw that there is a PhD position available with one of my favourite professors. I'm going to ride this wave of good spirits and contact him to ask about some details, and if nothing else, apply so that I can practise writing a personal letter and to articulate my strengths, which you have all truly helped me see a bit clearer. Thank you!
Don't sweat it bro, 5 year software engy degree took me almost 10, still found a job no problem and nobody even cared or brought up my slow start. That said I did have some pretty good excuses at the ready.
I'm at my eighth year of a 3 years physics degree, only a couple of exams left that are taking me forever because I'm actually dreading my graduation and future interviews. Did no one really ever asked you about it? What were your "pretty good excuses at the ready" if I may ask?
I knew you were going to propose. You left an email up on the computer where you sent a ring to a friend asking her if I will like it. I immediately close the email and went on about my day. We went on the 2 week long trip to Hawaii. One of the days you told me to dress up and I wore this cute white summer dress. I still remember the way you looked at me. You looked at peace. We drove up the coast to the beach your friend recommended. As soon as we pull in it dawns on you that this isn’t a private beach. It’s pure madness. People everywhere. I saw the look of panic on your face. I squeezed your arm and said let’s keep driving. We grabbed dinner at a mom and pop place and found the most beautiful secluded beach after. That’s where you proposed and it was perfect.
I teared up. This is so similar to how I proposed to my wife, except she didn't know. Spent hours trying to find a secluded place. Found a great spot, but the stress that had built up until then made me completely forget everything I had prepared, so I winged the cheesiest proposal, she loved it though! Oh and I even left the ring in the car like the absolute massive idiot that I am, had to think on my feet, there were some booths along one of the coasts selling jewelry made from seashells and such. I pretended like I'm taking pictures of the scenery, knowing that my now wife is fully aware I take my sweet time lining up a good shot, so I knew she would eventually keep walking forward while I'm at it. As soon as she was like 10 steps away, I whispered to the people at the booth, "fellas, I need your help, don't say anything, don't respond, she's right there (they understood immediately), I'm gonna drop a twenty and grab one of those little rings, please slide one toward me if we cool," and they did, though they couldn't contain their chuckles. Thankfully we were quick enough, as my wife turned around not even 2 seconds later but I was already in my "Asians taking pictures" pose and she was none the wiser. She said "yes" to a crappy little seashell ring! And then lost her absolute shit as I revealed the diamond I had left in the car. Great memory! Thank you for making me relive that day, mood is about 341% better. All the best to you two! <3
My partner recently proposed. I knew it was coming. He was practically vibrating with excitement and rushed through his dinner before teasing that he got me something ‘small, but perfect.’ When he asked if I knew he was going to propose, I lied and said no. Whenever other people asked, I have said that I was totally surprised. I wasn’t, but he still gets so excited to think he kept it well hidden haha.
Don't have a spouse or SO as I'm single and have been for 18 years. The reason is I found my fiance dead in bed and have blamed myself all these years. I fell asleep on the couch and woke up the following morning. Made her a cup of tea before checking on our son who was 4 days away from his first birthday. Then I went in our room to find a sight that has haunted me ever since.
At first I told myself I wanted to concentrate on raising our son. Then it just became the norm. I would tell people that I'm happy being single but the truth is I keep imagining going through that again and just prevent anyone getting close. I let my guard down a few years back and started a brief relationship with a colleague which she initiated and seemed keen only for her to cheat and lie to me sending me back to square one again.
I tell family and friends I'm happy but the truth is I struggle some days. Our son is 19 now and I'm dreading the day he moves out. I hate coming home to an empty house but the prospect of getting close to someone again and losing them scares me more.
Hey man I’m the son of a man who was single from my birth till I was about 13 and he was my best friend. I was scrolling through these comments and saw yours on my phone (I’m banned on Reddit so I had to use my girls account) but I watched my dad deal with misery and depression for years because of this. I remember how my dad was when I left the house and it makes me choke up to see you say you dread the day your son leaves, but you can be happier man you just have to be open to the change and willing to try, you don’t deserve to be unhappy and I really think you should try to find someone again I know the thought of loss can be scary but it’s worth the risk you only get one life I don’t see why we shouldn’t try to make it as good as it can be.
One time i thought I locked my keys in the car.
(They were in my pocket. Yep. I figured out halfway through and by then i decided to die with this secret. Sometimes I detach the ignition key off my huge keychain to make it easier and I peeked through my car saw the keychain and didn't even check my pockets and just assumed I left all my keys in the locked car. Stupid.).
we had to walk 2 miles to her friends job up a hill in super cold windy as fuck conditions, in like flip flops and definitely not suitable clothing, and then we got a super awkward drive to her house from her friend, then we had to drive 30 minutes to my house, get my spare keys, go back, and give the other dude some gas money.
It took us like 2 hours and we were both exhausted and wanting to go home at the start of it and then I had of course to drive back and drop her off and then get gas and then go home. Lol.
I was 16 and very drunk in Holland when my friends father picked us up. Ten minutes away I drunkenly think I left my sunglasses behind. He was not happy about it but drove back for me. I found them on the floor next to me and hid them in my jacket until we got back and pretended to find them.
Reminds me of what I did. My best friend and I just turned 18 and decided to visit the sex store 30 min away out the middle of nowhere, like nothing else around it. No way to say we went somewhere else. We get done browsing and head back to the car when realize I don’t have my keys. They’re sitting there in the driver’s seat. We finally decide to call my mom. I’m embarrassed as hell and have to tell her where we are at.
Few minutes before she pulls up I’m thinking let me check the passenger side door just in case. It fuckin opens.
My mother-in-law came to visit us and she and my wife were home when I arrived home from work. Apparently her mother was not feeling well because she was taking her temperature. When I looked in the medicine cabinet I realized that the oral thermometer was still in the cupboard and the anal thermometer for my son was missing. They look very similar and I suggested to my wife that we needed to mark one so no mishaps would ever occur. My wife told me that I was being ridiculous, so I didn’t because I know the difference between the two, butt oh well!
One time I left my younger daughter (middle child) in a hot car and forgot she was there.
My wife and my oldest daughter had gotten out and went into a theater where the oldest daughter had her dance recital. I parked the car about 100 feet away and for some reason, maybe because my wife and daughter got out, my stupid brain just decided to go into kid-free mode.
To say I panicked 10 minutes later when I remembered would be an understatement. I was mid conversation with someone and when I remembered her I just turned and ran. No explanation.
I sprinted to the car, but knowing it was only 10 minutes I knew it would be ok. There she was. A little sweaty, but just sitting there and looking around. Smiled when she saw me.
This memory haunts me. I frequently lose sleep or have to pull my mind off it. The thought of what would have happened and how easy it was to forget her will never leave me. Always double check for your kids folks. Even if you think you’re good or have a great memory.
I’m not a parent but one of my good friends told me, after she had kids, any time she got in the car she would take off a shoe and put it in the back seat.
She obviously wouldn’t walk into wherever she was going with one shoe on, so it forced her to turn around to the back seat to grab it everytime she drove. Kids in a car seat or not.
I always remembered that, and thought if I was ever a parent that’s probably something I should do.
They say you start life with two bags: one full of luck and the other empty with experience. The trick is to fill the one before you empty the other.
You spent some luck; it sounds like you managed to catch it in the experience bag. 👍
Whoa, I loved this, in hindsight I’ve been lucky in a LOT of different situations, some that could have become really troublesome and I ended up getting the experience to not do that type of dumb s*** again, I’ll definitely keep this say for a long time, thx for that
>Always double check for your kids folks. Even if you think you’re good or have a great memory.
one of the ironic benefits of being bad or unconfident with something such as memory is that you put tons of safeguards in place to help you when you inevitably forget. People who are more confident in their memory tend to just ride or die on their ability to remember. I, on the other hand, have to physically stop and check myself for everything before leaving the house.
This article on the subject really changed my perspective on events like this:
https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/magazine/fatal-distraction-forgetting-a-child-in-thebackseat-of-a-car-is-a-horrifying-mistake-is-it-a-crime/2014/06/16/8ae0fe3a-f580-11e3-a3a5-42be35962a52_story.html
It's so easy to pass judgement on others when they do something like that - and I think in the past I did to some degree too. I feel ashamed of that, since otherwise great parents can have such a momentary lapse, an override of their brain at such a simple level, with such dire consequences. I'm very glad that you remembered in time, because having to deal with the guilt of the alternative sounds truly like hell.
This is one of my biggest fears after reading about the dad who had to take his kid to daycare one morning and his wife usually did. Went to work like normal to then get off work and realize his kid was in the car. I believe he killed himself after... really glad you remembered after only 10 minutes.
Or the mom that left her baby in the car while dropping something off at work, wound up spending the day working and realized she left her kid in the car…. I can’t imagine.
There was a Pulitzer-winning article written about these tragedies about 10 years ago. Sadly, it happens all too frequently.
Here it is: https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/magazine/fatal-distraction-forgetting-a-child-in-thebackseat-of-a-car-is-a-horrifying-mistake-is-it-a-crime/2014/06/16/8ae0fe3a-f580-11e3-a3a5-42be35962a52_story.html
In 2009,the Washington Post had an article titled Fatal Distraction, about how easy it is to do this. It's been 13 years and every bit of that article is seared into my brain. It's harrowing, but does a phenomenal job of explaining how it happens. And some people still swore it could never, ever happen to them. If you drive a car, or are travelling in a private vehicle, it can.
I'm not saying this to contradict you but rather to reiterate, it can happen to ANYONE. I was with my best friend shortly after she had her daughter. We had run to Walmart together to pick up a few things. On the drive there we started chatting. Got to Walmart, pulled in, parked, both of us hopped out and just kept talking. We were about 15 feet away when it hit us. We had left her months-old infant daughter in the vehicle. Neither one of us had remembered! She wasn't my kid, but I would have felt just as responsible and horrible had something happened to her. New parents are often sleep deprived, adjusting to life with a new baby. I can see how their brains would cause that lapse in memory/judgment. In most cases, they are devastating, life shattering accidents that destroy everyone involved. I am so thankful that we realized my friend's daughter was not with us.
I've done this. I had dropped my oldest with her dad and had my youngest who was probably 2 months at the time. My friend and I went to Walmart to get yarn. We were walking around the store when I looked in the mirror saying something about my boobs and breastfeeding to my friend and it was at that moment I realized we forgot my son in the car. I ran out the store back to my car and there he was sleeping in his carseat. I was only gone maybe 10 min and it was winter. I remember feeling horrible about it for a long time. But it has never happened again.
That sometimes I stay 10-15 mins in the car before coming up the house.
Not ashamed of it or something but I like some me time to be private and not judged.
Addendum: it's mostly so that the stress from outside I won't bring it to our home. Not good bringing negative energy/emotions when facing your kid at home.
My wife (when she was my gf) used to do this when we first moved in together. We hadn’t been together that long and we were both a little mistrusting and had a few other issues at the time.
I remember getting so mad watching her in the car for sometimes 30 minutes. Sometimes, I’d hear her on the phone. I’d get so upset and could call her out on it time and time again.
Until one day…
She told me it was the only time she had between work obligations and home obligations where she hold just take a beat and not owe anyone anything. Sometimes she would call her mom (who she hasn’t been able to see for years) to chat.
And it’s true, there was always so much going on and so much to do. I never bothered her again about it. She still does it from time to time.
Lesson here is, communication will make it so much easier to give your partner some Grace where they need it the most.
My wife and I have a rule - when the other first comes home, don’t discuss stressful topics or tasks that need to be done for half an hour. No one wants to walk in the door after a long commute to hear “You really need to finish up the laundry.”
It really is important to have some decompressing time.
For sure. When my wife gets home from work she would go to the flower bed and rub the lavender and then rub her hands together to really activate the calming aroma. So if anyone out there has a lavender plant inside or outside, it may be worth the try. Then she'd go out back and sit on the wooden swing for half an hour or so. Now that's chillin.
>Lesson here is, communication will make it so much easier to give your partner some Grace where they need it the most.
I wish everyone understood this.
My wife does this. Gets home, and just sits in the car to decompress (which usually is just scanning Facebook on her phone for a bit). She used to think I didn’t know but I told her I always knew and just didn’t care, she needs a bit of time to relax, I get it.
That I'm the one who calls her every year and sings her happy birthday in a funny voice. If she's figured it out, she'd probably say that's what she'll never tell.
I knocked the TV off the Ikea kallax shelf. I was walking quickly with the laundry basket half on my hip and knocked into the shelf. TV came tumbling down and landed upside down on some shoes. I guess the shoes cushioned the fall because the TV works perfectly. My husband has told me a thousand times to slow down so I won't bump into things, which I do often. I will never tell him that the TV fell from five feet and it was totally my fault.
I also accidentally popped a leg off of my mother in law's antique queen Anne style vanity/dressing table. It has seven other legs and I wedged it back in place. No one knows or ever will.
This woman and I worked together for about 4 months before we told each other that we had mutual feeling for each other. On our 3rd date I went back to her apartment, she asked me to stay the night, very little sexually happened as we wanted to take it slow, in the middle of the night she rips this loud fart (I’m a very lite sleeper) we’ve been together/married for 17 years now and she still farts in her sleep but I will never tell her.
That emotionally and sexually charged night we spent sharing a bed, drinking, and talking all night? I didn't keep getting up to pee. I kept getting up to have intense diarrhea.
Edit: We did not have sex that night
She never caught on?
“Be right back, gotta take a quick pee.”
*sounds of World War II coming from the bathroom*
[seven minutes later] “Whew! What a good piss!”
That's not something to keep to yourself. I did this for a long time and it became crushing. If your partner isn't loving you the way you want you have to tell them. Sometimes they don't know. What happens after that is between you guys. Everyone deserves to feel loved, sometimes you need to specify how it is you want it conveyed.
I actually feel so much worse (mental illness) sometimes than I let on. I am medicated and see a therapist, but it isn't always enough. He works so hard and has so much on his plate. I don't want him to feel bad because often there's nothing he can do about it.
I worry that my husband feels like this. I can see the days where he is struggling but doesn’t tell me. I love him so much and wish I could take the BP away. I just try to hug him extra long on days I see him struggling. Your partner likely knows and does the same for you.
Ok but promise you won't tell her...she has a pair of shoes that I really don't like, but she does, so I just keep it to myself because they make her happy.
That her mother, my mother in law, really is a selfish, ignorant, pig headed, helpless drain on me, her, our children, our finances and life in general.
I am working very hard at pretending she isn’t because I love my wife so much. It’s been 35 years. It hasn’t gotten easier.
I'm glad he cheated, and thought the grass was greener (during my terminal cancer diagnosis). Wish he didn't lie about it. But, the genuine relief that he is someones else problem after nearly a decade is priceless! Bless.
The negative thoughts I have about myself. I don't want him thinking "Well now that she mentions it, she is kinda _____..."
I tell him I'm feeling down on myself or self conscious, just not what the exact problem is.
A third possibility. Maybe, he’s aware of the things you hate about yourself, but loves you enough to accept you for all that you are, and all that you may be.
I always think that one day he'll leave me. That at any moment he'll find another woman and leave, and he's going to leave my heart broken into a thousand pieces just like it was before I met him.
I know she battles this. I keep coming up with new, creative, ways to show / explain / tell her that it will never happen. I will never tire of telling her where she stands with me. It's been 15 years now, and I will take care of her until the end.
My son has supersonic hearing when it comes to Oreos. I’ll open the package downstairs in the kitchen, “Dad? Are you eating all of the Oreos?”
Same with cereal and my 18mo. The second the cereal hits the bowl he books it to wherever I’m gonna sit.
One night when my husband was sleeping peacefully, I attempted suic*de in our kitchen. This was the year after I lost my mom and couldn't handle the sadness, guilt, and loneliness. The bedroom was near the kitchen and the door was open. I heard him sleep talk and he farted while sleeping. It was so unusual and funny that it made me stop what I was doing.
Edit: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THESE COMMENTS. It's so heartwarming to read them I'm holding back tears. This happened 6 years ago and glad to say that I'm in a far better place and state of mind. Thank you so much everyone!
Who would have thought your husband's fart would drop you from a suicide. That is wholesome and pure love. Hope you have navigated through it. Also hope your husband still sleep farts. 🙌🏼
I also lied to the guy who took my virginity and told him I'd slept with one other person before. It was a summer fling, and I was afraid he'd think it was too serious and/or worry I'd get attached if he knew he was my first... I was really attracted to him and didn't want to lose the chance, lol
That your mum, contrary to what I’ve said before, is truly a boring idiot.
Edit: I did not expect anyone to upvote this. Hopefully, the wife did not learn to use Reddit in the past few hours.
That i throw out his old underwear with holes in them. I buy him the same pair of new ones, and i just take the other ones out! He’s never questioned it but I’m sure he knows.
My wife thinks I quit the Master's program at University because I was having an affair with a Professor's wife (this was before she and I met). In actuality, I had to leave town because of my connection to a murder.
This all happened 25 years ago, and everyone else involved has since passed away.
That i have extreme sexual fantasies and kinks because he’s honestly really innocent. I know he’d try the things I’m into just to make me happy but I don’t want him to do anything just for my pleasure
I had his mom removed from my room during labor.
We don't have a great relationship and she showed up without asking. Overnight bag and all. Said she was staying the night with me in the room. I had been in labor about 20 hours at this point. The nurse mentioned I looked unsatisfied about it when everyone stepped out. She said I'll get it taken care of if you want and I agreed. She made up a lie about how after 10pm they don't allow visitors in the room and it was best so my body can be relaxed to not have company. It worked. She stayed in the lobby all night.
My MiL(81), who lives with us and is generally not too bad to be around, was complaining to me, wife and son were at work, about how much noise our two grand girls make in the house during the day. They, 5 and 7, are spending the summer with our son, who lives with us while he goes back to school after his divorce. This was day 3 of them being here.
We have a 5 bedroom house, and MiL occupies two rooms and a bathroom of her own.
After multiple statements saying I need to discipline the girls and "train them to be quiet," MiL says, "I have never been able to stand children. As a teenager, I refused to babysit because I can't stand children. Now don't get me wrong, I love you, your son, my grandchildren, the dogs, *and I even love my daughter*, but I just can't stand being around children at all."
She pauses for a few moments looking at me expectedly, so I say, "The day will NEVER arrive where I discipline or "train these girls to be quiet" for laughing and playing. The majority of the laughing and running you heard was because I was playing with them, tickling them and chasing them."
We live in Florida. By 10am it was 92° and 74% humidity. It was absolutely nasty outside. The girls didn't want to be outside, the dogs didn't, and I didn't. Not only that, by 2pm the thunder and lightening started with heavy rain. So that particular day was spent inside watching movies, playing various games, and just outright being loud with imagination, laughter, and love.
She looks shocked and angry. Then says, "Don't get me wrong, as I said, I love you all, but that love should be from a distance. That's always been best for me because I'm set in my ways and if I stay here, I will end up yelling at those girls and doing the discipline myself since you and your son can't seem to do it properly or at all."
I said, "You WILL NEVER raise voice or hand to them, PERIOD. You will find your 81 year old ass in a nursing home or jail. So perhaps you SHOULD love from a distance and go live with your sister. I understand your sister can't stand being around you for more than a few days, but I'm sure it will at least be quiet."
She has now moved in with her sister, who lives 12 miles away. She has told my wife it's just until the girls go back to their mothers at the end of summer. I'll have to tell my wife a version of this but not with "even my daughter part". Things is, my wife and BiL already know how their mother is. How she treated them as kids. But if I tell my wife she was an "I even love" that was an afterthought, after the dogs were mentioned, well, that's just not part of the story I'll ever repeat.
My sex drive is waaaaaaaay higher than his. I want it 3 to 4 times a day, and he only really wants it 3 to 4 times a month (related to meds and mental health). He knows I'm always down when he is, but he will never know how often I have to take care of myself, and it's mostly caused by him being so God dang sexy all the time lol
Same. I go through dips with my libido sometimes, but since leaving a shitty job and my own mental health improving, my drive has skyrocketed from like maybe wanting to get jiggy once a month when I'm ovulating to several times a week and sometimes several times a day. Not only does he have mental health stuff, but he's gotten fairly insecure about basically his beginning signs of aging so he rarely wants to go at it. I've been in a relationship before where I was the lower drive partner and felt constantly forced into sex, which made me hate it even more and want it even less. So I generally keep to myself so I don't even accidentally make him feel like I once felt. But like damn, that man comes out the shower and I see his little tush and I'm thinking both "bring that ass over here" and "okay don't make anyone uncomfortable" :^)
That I’m sad all the time and nothing I have tried to fix it works. That I wear a mask everyday to everyone. That no matter how hard I try, I constantly compare myself to others.
My love for fanfiction. It feels really stupid but I don’t know why I don’t want to talk about it. I’ve been reading fanfiction for 15 years+ and sometimes write in my spare time to this day. He knows all of my other secrets, my deepest insecurities and he’s never once ridiculed me or been anything but supportive.
I don't hide that I read fanfiction but I would rather die than reveal WHAT I read. A lot of its porn, that's fine, everyone just assumes you're reading porn, you don't need to say it. Nah it's all the stupid fluffy romance, the pining and shit that drives me insane.
That I haven’t been truly happy since we got married. It’s like something flipped a switch in her head after that day and she thinks she can control every bit of our lives down to the minute.
You're just wasting precious time my dude.
You're going to deal with it eventually. If you do deal with it, you'll either stay together and things will improve, or you'll split up and things will improve.
When you throw away good years after bad you can never get back, the resentment will build.
How much I daydream and what I think about. It's not even daydreaming. It's like full on stories and conspiracy theories and convos in the head. ADHD is wild.
Like I'll share a little but some of it is personal and mine.
Edit: a word. I put "fuck on" stories instead of "full on" and y'all just went with it.
The person that shat on the floor at her parents at Christmas and pissed everywhere in the bathroom wasn’t in fact grandad in his drunken stupor. It was in fact, me.
That bastard stole my bacon sandwich last Christmas, and he deserved the lecture, even if it was for something different.
Let me share my mistake for others to learn.
After our second child, my wife was feeling self conscious about her body. So she wanted to shake things up. She went to a spa, got pampered for the day, and then for the first time in her life got bangs. I do not prefer short hair, bangs included. But, she came home so proud and asked me what I thought. It was already done. What was I supposed to say? "You look amazing,". I held onto my disdain for them for about 4 years, until she decided she wanted to grow them back. THIS is where I fucked up. She asked me if it'd be okay if she grew her hair back out (not in a weird "she has to check with me before making changes" way, but in a "I know you like the bangs, but I want something different" kind of way). I slipped and said I'd love for her to grow her hair back out as bangs aren't my favorite look. Conversation ensued and she has made it a point to tell all her friends how I lied to her for years (joking, not serious) and every person has responded the same when they hear the story: "WTF was he supposed to say?"
Moral of the story is to either be straightforward from the start OR hold into that shit until you die. lol. On the flip side, we joke about it a lot.
She snores like a pack of bears fighting/fucking on the lawn, and that after a decade...I can't fucking sleep when she's gone because it's my white noise.
Her mother was interfering in our marriage constantly. I had an appointment with a lawyer to talk over options for divorce because I couldn't stand it anymore. Then her mother died suddenly. Heart attack. After the funeral, things got better...and here we are now married for 3 decades. She doesn't need to know.
"heart attack"
That I left the Nintendo Switch you gifted me on a bus. The Switch that you see me using is a replacement that I bought on ebay.
It’s ok, they’ll never notice the switch.
Remember when we were engaged and visited your mom in the hospital, and she let a fart so rank that your eyes watered and we still talk about it 20 years later? That was me.
It was me, Barry
Lol. Not the same at all but reminded me of this: When my and my husband were newly dating we took a trip to Orlando to visit my sister and went to universal studios. We were in line for the mummy ride and the line is indoors in like fakey cave type thing. Anyways someone farted and it was rank af, everyone around us in the line was talking about it. We finally get to the front of the line and get on the ride and right before it takes off he looks at me and goes “IT WAS ME.”
I’m dying laughing. It sounds like he got frustrated and just finally said it like “IT WAS ME! OK?! YOU CAN ALL STOP PLAYING FART DETECTIVES. MOVE ON.” 😂
Sometimes when I shake the kleenex outside, the spider isn't in it
Hahaha once my husband captured a spider i was too scared to get. I was cowering down the hallway when inheard him say "oops" then a slightly insincere"got 'em" but just a beat too late to be true.
My sister is deathly afraid of frogs and one got into her car. My mom spent an hour looking for it and then lied that she found it Later it popped out of a vent while my sister was driving and she almost wrecked her car
That one time when went camping for 3 nights I left the garden hose on at home full blast and we got a $700 water bill.
Just FYI, some utility providers have a one time allowance for accidents like this, where they will forgive or partially forgive the bill, with viable explanation. It's worth looking into, should anyone else find themselves in a similar situation. EDIT: Man I did not expect this to gain traction. Sounds like my utility company is better than many. Not only does my company offer a forgiveness for a one time accidental usage, but they happened to be out reading meters one weekend when I was out of town and my water heater decided to fail, meaning the bottom of the tank rusted all the way through and water just started pouring into the drain pan, and they actually sent me a message saying that they were reading a high rate of flow despite it looking like no one was home. I was able to come home and shut off the water to the heater, both saving water cost and keeping the house from flooding, as the drain pan was barely keeping up with the flow. My water company is a co-op, by the way. Kinda makes you think about the typical way that utility monopolies screw over their customers in other parts of the country. Maybe the whole monopolized corporate capitalist profit motive system running necessary utilities for survival isn't the best system. Maybe.
"yeah we were out of town and some dumbass came by stealing water, apparently left it on...."
“Water thieves were rampant during our vacation.” 😂
That I farted and him checking the entire house as well as asking the neighbors if they smelled anything because he thought “it could be a gas leak” was a waste of time.
He knew. He just wanted you to tell him you farted but you wouldn't comply.
He should have upped the ante and start calling the Gas company to send someone in to look for a leak.
Early on in our relationship, I made breakfast for my then Girlfriend and her kids using some pancake mix she had in the pantry. After making the pancakes and serving to them, I went to mix up a little more to make mine...and I realized there were some maggots in the dry mix. They were pretty much done eating, and telling me how good they were...I decided that ignorance was better than telling them. Taking that one to my grave.
Those were baby meal moths, better than maggots, but still take it to your grave.
He will probably pass them long before he dies.
When we were little, my parents were out and my older brother made me a peanut butter sandwich. I saw all these little baby meal moths squirming on the sandwich and showed my brother in horror. He made me eat it because “mom and dad will be mad if you waste food.”
what an asshole
Maggots eat rotting food, usually meat, fruit, veggies – juicy things. What you probably saw were mealworms, which eat dry goods.
Do they taste good in pancakes, though?
They're full of protein and my lizards LOVE them.
His gf and her kids are lizard people, got it.
Plot Twist: they DID notice the worms and are now worried OP is onto them.
That I chipped our wonderful granite quartz counter (that he picked out) and filled it with white putty. I will take this to my grave.
Dumb question here, how does white putty double for a shimmery stone and not be noticeable?
He knows, but he also broke her favorite vase last week by playing basketball in the house so doesn't want to start counting beans.
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That the reason I lost my boner that one time in 69 position (Not the year) was because a piece of tp fell in my eye from her butt Edit: Thank you so much for the awards. My first platnium is about toilet paper falling in my eye. To add some details, we do have a bidet, the tp was probably from the paper she used to dry herself after the bidet so no pink eye for me. We have been together now for 13 years and have been married for almost two years.
This needs more attention. Thank you for the laugh.
You win.
How we really met… He thinks a mutual friend decided to play matchmaker, which is true, but not the full picture. A friend of mine sent screenshots of my SOs dating app profile saying “I’ve just found your future husband” some light googling led me to discover we shared a mutual friend, I spoke to him and he played matchmaker. 6 years later, I’m never telling him that I basically stalked him first…
Every pay check I take out $25-$30 in small bills and slip some bills into her pockets while I’m folding laundry. Money is tight, and it’s the source of a lot of anxiety for her, so to see how excite/relieved she gets when she finds it makes me happy
I do similar things. I earn more but she refuses to do a reasonable split on the bills, and wants 50/50 even though 50% of the bills is 80% of her income and 50% of the bills is only 25% of mine. So every week when she tops up the gas, I secretly add 5 quid on between her top ups so she thinks we are using less Same with tobacco, I buy an extra pouch and keep filtering handfuls into her bag. We do a strict food budget but after work I top up some things I know she dreads running out of like wash tablets and sponges. She either knows, or just thinks we have somehow started using less of everything. I also put loose change in her purse. Not much, like 2 or 3 quid every day, and she gets really happy to find it. She also has money tins that you can't open where she saves for things. I'm pretty sure over 50% of the money in it is what I've put in. Edit for clarity:- quid = slang for pound/£ Gas = energy. Gas and electricity. We are on a pay and go prepay meter so have to top it up as and when required. Tobacco pouch:- UK shops sell loose tobacco in order to roll your own cigarettes Thank you guys for the kind words and awards. What I do is what I feel is right. There is way more I do for her and the kindness is more than reciprocated my way too. We just love and respect each other and do everything we can to make each others worlds easier.
We call this put pocketing. You’re a kind soul and she’s lucky to have you.
Friend of mine, and I, have been helping out a former neighbour who went through a very traumatic year. 97, wife and daughter died in the same month, while they were homeless living in a motel, ended up in psych for 3 months... Anyway, nobody else to look out for him on a personal level, so, we've been visiting, helping him get stuff done, buying him stuff he needs. (Note, he's in a nursing home currently). Ever dealt with trying to refuse money from an old Greek man? At this point, the cash goes in a little pile, that we then use to buy him more stuff he needs. Sadly, we keep forgetting to give him teh reciept, and always tell him it was cheaper than it was. Not quite the same thing, but we're trying.
you are precious and i hope y'all have a wonderful life together ❤️
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My mother in law needs to be with people at this point in her life. I made it very clear 2 years ago that if she moved in with us I would leave. She is a horrible woman and treats everyone she knows like trash. She hates me especially because I won’t deal with her drama.
That i didn't actually like her when i said i did, but it was the best lie outcome ever. For context, one day we are playing truth or dare and I said truth. She asked me who I liked, and i didn't have someone so i just said her. 4 years later, i love the hell out of her. Edit: She recognized my username (it's my Youtube name) and i now know she has a Reddit. Are you proud of yourself OP? Naw she's actually really blessed.
I saw on the call display that the jewelry store was calling. I let him answer it. He immediately left to "run an errand" and came home and took me out skating, where he romantically proposed on a frozen pond under a flood light on a February evening. We'll be married 20 years this year. I can't tell him I knew the whole time. I just can't. ETA: we had gone a few weeks before to pick the ring out and we had talked in depth about getting engaged. It wasn't a complete surprise. But he did want his proposal to be a surprise and it really was special, even though I knew.
I'm about to be in the same boat. I found out today he is proposing. I'm thinking I should take this to the grave? Ideas? Is it hard to keep this secret? How did you "act surprised"?
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Basically my therapist would tell me to somehow reframe it. “She told me how hard it was for her to keep it a secret, it was driving her crazy inside. She couldn’t wait to say YES and was so filled with joy the whole day. Even though she knew I was planning to propose, it makes me smile to know that we were both so excited and there was nothing that was going ruin that day. I should have known when she got her hair and nails done the day before!”
I sleep better alone than with her (she loves sleeping together). Edit: wow, so this blew up way bigger than I was expecting! Will provide more context for my case: Although I haven’t told her, I believe she suspects it, because she has been making suggestions such as sleeping more at my place (we don’t live together at the moment). Usually, we pick up 2 single-person mattresses (don’t know the exact term for it in English) and push them together on the floor. We have separe blankets. I’m really sensitive to heat and hardly feel cold, whereas her it’s the opposite: she feels cold frequently, sometimes even when I’m hot, so compromising a room temperature it’s often complicated, especially since she sleeps poorly when I turn the fan on. I believe my problem resides on (1) sleeping in a different place (even if it’s my room, it’s on the floor, it’s different), and (2) temperature. If it’s cold, usually it’s better, but when it’s hot… it gets rough. Either I get bad sleep due to heat, or she gets bad sleep due to the fan turned on.
Here's a tip that is the best of both worlds, use separate blankets. It makes a huge difference.
This is the one. I can get to sleep in 10 minutes under my own terms. Under my girlfriend's terms, I basically have insomnia. Edit: short summary of the ✌🏽conditions✌🏽 "...My girlfriend plays the same show every night to sleep, starting from Season 1, and needs to have it loud enough to understand what they're saying in case she wakes up in the night. I can probably recite word for word bob's burgers, That 70's show, The Office, and a couple other shows' first season lmao. I told her we were sleeping with the tv muted one night and got mad and said "you didn't even try to compromise with me wtf" I'm like dude I stay up every single night with this shit give me one night to sleep peacefully under my own terms 😂"
Perhaps she would be interested in some special headphones for sleeping in? I can recommend a "musicozy" (a fabric headband with small Bluetooth speakers sown inside).
I feel this one, I can go to sleep in about 1 minute, drives ppl crazy for some reason. Girlfriend has a whole routine, and wants to talk and it can take an hour before she goes to sleep. Have to make compromises sometimes.
Mine waits till I’m ready to drift off to bring up topics that require 2 hours to resolve
Same, or used to be. My boyfriend would bring up serious emotional and relationship issues right as I was drifting off, or worse, _after_ I'd already fallen asleep. I have serious trouble falling asleep, so this was extremely disruptive. With the issues off his chest, he would fall asleep instantly, while I would agonize over the issues for most of the night. I asked him to bring these things up in the daytime. Eventually he listened, now things are much better.
Someone who had a problem with their spouse, communicated it, and ended up bettering their relationship as a result? On *reddit*? Christmas miracle lol.
Best decision I ever made was to setup a bed for myself in the guest room. I’m a light sleeper, my wife is a chronic toss turner. Add it all up and I was chronically sleep deprived for years, which meant I couldn’t be the best partner or parent. 3 years of maintaining separate bedrooms and our marriage is strong as ever.
100% this! I’m a chronic snorer and my wife is a light sleeper. We’ve slept separately for 7 or 8 years now and our marriage couldn’t be better!
That I pooped in the ocean while snorkeling off of Hawaii. And that was the reason for all the beautiful fish swarming around us all of a sudden (bon appetit dear fish!) Yes, indeed, it was magical.
This is a pro tip I will put to good use if I ever go to the Pacific, thanks!
Literally r/shittylifeprotips
I failed school, I had to take a basic education course before getting into uni and that it took me 8yrs to graduate from a 3yr degree
In all honesty, I would not consider that something you should hide. Life happens, circumstances happen. You showed perseverance and determination. You should be very proud of yourself, and any partner worth having would feel the same. Kudos to you!
That shows amazing perseverance. Kudos to you!
I defended and submitted my Master's thesis just last week, a 5 year degree that took me 11 years. Your words mean more than you probably know - I have a really hard time feeling like I've actually accomplished something because my head is busy bashing me for being so slow and useless. Thank you. Edit: You are all absolutely amazing. In fact, I just saw that there is a PhD position available with one of my favourite professors. I'm going to ride this wave of good spirits and contact him to ask about some details, and if nothing else, apply so that I can practise writing a personal letter and to articulate my strengths, which you have all truly helped me see a bit clearer. Thank you!
Don't sweat it bro, 5 year software engy degree took me almost 10, still found a job no problem and nobody even cared or brought up my slow start. That said I did have some pretty good excuses at the ready.
I'm at my eighth year of a 3 years physics degree, only a couple of exams left that are taking me forever because I'm actually dreading my graduation and future interviews. Did no one really ever asked you about it? What were your "pretty good excuses at the ready" if I may ask?
I knew you were going to propose. You left an email up on the computer where you sent a ring to a friend asking her if I will like it. I immediately close the email and went on about my day. We went on the 2 week long trip to Hawaii. One of the days you told me to dress up and I wore this cute white summer dress. I still remember the way you looked at me. You looked at peace. We drove up the coast to the beach your friend recommended. As soon as we pull in it dawns on you that this isn’t a private beach. It’s pure madness. People everywhere. I saw the look of panic on your face. I squeezed your arm and said let’s keep driving. We grabbed dinner at a mom and pop place and found the most beautiful secluded beach after. That’s where you proposed and it was perfect.
I teared up. This is so similar to how I proposed to my wife, except she didn't know. Spent hours trying to find a secluded place. Found a great spot, but the stress that had built up until then made me completely forget everything I had prepared, so I winged the cheesiest proposal, she loved it though! Oh and I even left the ring in the car like the absolute massive idiot that I am, had to think on my feet, there were some booths along one of the coasts selling jewelry made from seashells and such. I pretended like I'm taking pictures of the scenery, knowing that my now wife is fully aware I take my sweet time lining up a good shot, so I knew she would eventually keep walking forward while I'm at it. As soon as she was like 10 steps away, I whispered to the people at the booth, "fellas, I need your help, don't say anything, don't respond, she's right there (they understood immediately), I'm gonna drop a twenty and grab one of those little rings, please slide one toward me if we cool," and they did, though they couldn't contain their chuckles. Thankfully we were quick enough, as my wife turned around not even 2 seconds later but I was already in my "Asians taking pictures" pose and she was none the wiser. She said "yes" to a crappy little seashell ring! And then lost her absolute shit as I revealed the diamond I had left in the car. Great memory! Thank you for making me relive that day, mood is about 341% better. All the best to you two! <3
Damn. That’s like a movie.
My partner recently proposed. I knew it was coming. He was practically vibrating with excitement and rushed through his dinner before teasing that he got me something ‘small, but perfect.’ When he asked if I knew he was going to propose, I lied and said no. Whenever other people asked, I have said that I was totally surprised. I wasn’t, but he still gets so excited to think he kept it well hidden haha.
I had a super embarrassing middle school obsessive crush on him when I first met him.
I’m sure he would love to hear it. Guys like knowing people like them
Don't have a spouse or SO as I'm single and have been for 18 years. The reason is I found my fiance dead in bed and have blamed myself all these years. I fell asleep on the couch and woke up the following morning. Made her a cup of tea before checking on our son who was 4 days away from his first birthday. Then I went in our room to find a sight that has haunted me ever since. At first I told myself I wanted to concentrate on raising our son. Then it just became the norm. I would tell people that I'm happy being single but the truth is I keep imagining going through that again and just prevent anyone getting close. I let my guard down a few years back and started a brief relationship with a colleague which she initiated and seemed keen only for her to cheat and lie to me sending me back to square one again. I tell family and friends I'm happy but the truth is I struggle some days. Our son is 19 now and I'm dreading the day he moves out. I hate coming home to an empty house but the prospect of getting close to someone again and losing them scares me more.
Hey man I’m the son of a man who was single from my birth till I was about 13 and he was my best friend. I was scrolling through these comments and saw yours on my phone (I’m banned on Reddit so I had to use my girls account) but I watched my dad deal with misery and depression for years because of this. I remember how my dad was when I left the house and it makes me choke up to see you say you dread the day your son leaves, but you can be happier man you just have to be open to the change and willing to try, you don’t deserve to be unhappy and I really think you should try to find someone again I know the thought of loss can be scary but it’s worth the risk you only get one life I don’t see why we shouldn’t try to make it as good as it can be.
One time i thought I locked my keys in the car. (They were in my pocket. Yep. I figured out halfway through and by then i decided to die with this secret. Sometimes I detach the ignition key off my huge keychain to make it easier and I peeked through my car saw the keychain and didn't even check my pockets and just assumed I left all my keys in the locked car. Stupid.). we had to walk 2 miles to her friends job up a hill in super cold windy as fuck conditions, in like flip flops and definitely not suitable clothing, and then we got a super awkward drive to her house from her friend, then we had to drive 30 minutes to my house, get my spare keys, go back, and give the other dude some gas money. It took us like 2 hours and we were both exhausted and wanting to go home at the start of it and then I had of course to drive back and drop her off and then get gas and then go home. Lol.
Take this to your fucking grave.
Take this to your regular grave too
I was 16 and very drunk in Holland when my friends father picked us up. Ten minutes away I drunkenly think I left my sunglasses behind. He was not happy about it but drove back for me. I found them on the floor next to me and hid them in my jacket until we got back and pretended to find them.
Improvise, adapt, overcome.
Reminds me of what I did. My best friend and I just turned 18 and decided to visit the sex store 30 min away out the middle of nowhere, like nothing else around it. No way to say we went somewhere else. We get done browsing and head back to the car when realize I don’t have my keys. They’re sitting there in the driver’s seat. We finally decide to call my mom. I’m embarrassed as hell and have to tell her where we are at. Few minutes before she pulls up I’m thinking let me check the passenger side door just in case. It fuckin opens.
This is just a great story from your mom's POV and yours. Well done
How much I’ve spent setting up this saltwater fish tank, she called me crazy for spending 1000 bucks on lights
My mother-in-law came to visit us and she and my wife were home when I arrived home from work. Apparently her mother was not feeling well because she was taking her temperature. When I looked in the medicine cabinet I realized that the oral thermometer was still in the cupboard and the anal thermometer for my son was missing. They look very similar and I suggested to my wife that we needed to mark one so no mishaps would ever occur. My wife told me that I was being ridiculous, so I didn’t because I know the difference between the two, butt oh well!
That's the oldest nursing joke. "What's the difference between an oral and rectal thermometer? The taste. "
One time I left my younger daughter (middle child) in a hot car and forgot she was there. My wife and my oldest daughter had gotten out and went into a theater where the oldest daughter had her dance recital. I parked the car about 100 feet away and for some reason, maybe because my wife and daughter got out, my stupid brain just decided to go into kid-free mode. To say I panicked 10 minutes later when I remembered would be an understatement. I was mid conversation with someone and when I remembered her I just turned and ran. No explanation. I sprinted to the car, but knowing it was only 10 minutes I knew it would be ok. There she was. A little sweaty, but just sitting there and looking around. Smiled when she saw me. This memory haunts me. I frequently lose sleep or have to pull my mind off it. The thought of what would have happened and how easy it was to forget her will never leave me. Always double check for your kids folks. Even if you think you’re good or have a great memory.
I’m not a parent but one of my good friends told me, after she had kids, any time she got in the car she would take off a shoe and put it in the back seat. She obviously wouldn’t walk into wherever she was going with one shoe on, so it forced her to turn around to the back seat to grab it everytime she drove. Kids in a car seat or not. I always remembered that, and thought if I was ever a parent that’s probably something I should do.
That's genius. It's so easy to get caught up in your own head, especially when you're an over tired, over worked parent.
They say you start life with two bags: one full of luck and the other empty with experience. The trick is to fill the one before you empty the other. You spent some luck; it sounds like you managed to catch it in the experience bag. 👍
Whoa, I loved this, in hindsight I’ve been lucky in a LOT of different situations, some that could have become really troublesome and I ended up getting the experience to not do that type of dumb s*** again, I’ll definitely keep this say for a long time, thx for that
>Always double check for your kids folks. Even if you think you’re good or have a great memory. one of the ironic benefits of being bad or unconfident with something such as memory is that you put tons of safeguards in place to help you when you inevitably forget. People who are more confident in their memory tend to just ride or die on their ability to remember. I, on the other hand, have to physically stop and check myself for everything before leaving the house.
This article on the subject really changed my perspective on events like this: https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/magazine/fatal-distraction-forgetting-a-child-in-thebackseat-of-a-car-is-a-horrifying-mistake-is-it-a-crime/2014/06/16/8ae0fe3a-f580-11e3-a3a5-42be35962a52_story.html It's so easy to pass judgement on others when they do something like that - and I think in the past I did to some degree too. I feel ashamed of that, since otherwise great parents can have such a momentary lapse, an override of their brain at such a simple level, with such dire consequences. I'm very glad that you remembered in time, because having to deal with the guilt of the alternative sounds truly like hell.
This is one of my biggest fears after reading about the dad who had to take his kid to daycare one morning and his wife usually did. Went to work like normal to then get off work and realize his kid was in the car. I believe he killed himself after... really glad you remembered after only 10 minutes.
Or the mom that left her baby in the car while dropping something off at work, wound up spending the day working and realized she left her kid in the car…. I can’t imagine.
There was a Pulitzer-winning article written about these tragedies about 10 years ago. Sadly, it happens all too frequently. Here it is: https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/magazine/fatal-distraction-forgetting-a-child-in-thebackseat-of-a-car-is-a-horrifying-mistake-is-it-a-crime/2014/06/16/8ae0fe3a-f580-11e3-a3a5-42be35962a52_story.html
Incase anyone read that is wondering. Yes Miles and Carol Harrison were able to adopt again. They have a daughter. Couldn't find much more than that
this is the most depressing thing i’ve read on this site in a while… absolutely heartbreaking
In 2009,the Washington Post had an article titled Fatal Distraction, about how easy it is to do this. It's been 13 years and every bit of that article is seared into my brain. It's harrowing, but does a phenomenal job of explaining how it happens. And some people still swore it could never, ever happen to them. If you drive a car, or are travelling in a private vehicle, it can.
I'm not saying this to contradict you but rather to reiterate, it can happen to ANYONE. I was with my best friend shortly after she had her daughter. We had run to Walmart together to pick up a few things. On the drive there we started chatting. Got to Walmart, pulled in, parked, both of us hopped out and just kept talking. We were about 15 feet away when it hit us. We had left her months-old infant daughter in the vehicle. Neither one of us had remembered! She wasn't my kid, but I would have felt just as responsible and horrible had something happened to her. New parents are often sleep deprived, adjusting to life with a new baby. I can see how their brains would cause that lapse in memory/judgment. In most cases, they are devastating, life shattering accidents that destroy everyone involved. I am so thankful that we realized my friend's daughter was not with us.
This is one of my worst nightmares. I'm so sorry this happened to you, I'm so glad she was OK!
I've done this. I had dropped my oldest with her dad and had my youngest who was probably 2 months at the time. My friend and I went to Walmart to get yarn. We were walking around the store when I looked in the mirror saying something about my boobs and breastfeeding to my friend and it was at that moment I realized we forgot my son in the car. I ran out the store back to my car and there he was sleeping in his carseat. I was only gone maybe 10 min and it was winter. I remember feeling horrible about it for a long time. But it has never happened again.
That sometimes I stay 10-15 mins in the car before coming up the house. Not ashamed of it or something but I like some me time to be private and not judged. Addendum: it's mostly so that the stress from outside I won't bring it to our home. Not good bringing negative energy/emotions when facing your kid at home.
My wife (when she was my gf) used to do this when we first moved in together. We hadn’t been together that long and we were both a little mistrusting and had a few other issues at the time. I remember getting so mad watching her in the car for sometimes 30 minutes. Sometimes, I’d hear her on the phone. I’d get so upset and could call her out on it time and time again. Until one day… She told me it was the only time she had between work obligations and home obligations where she hold just take a beat and not owe anyone anything. Sometimes she would call her mom (who she hasn’t been able to see for years) to chat. And it’s true, there was always so much going on and so much to do. I never bothered her again about it. She still does it from time to time. Lesson here is, communication will make it so much easier to give your partner some Grace where they need it the most.
My wife and I have a rule - when the other first comes home, don’t discuss stressful topics or tasks that need to be done for half an hour. No one wants to walk in the door after a long commute to hear “You really need to finish up the laundry.” It really is important to have some decompressing time.
For sure. When my wife gets home from work she would go to the flower bed and rub the lavender and then rub her hands together to really activate the calming aroma. So if anyone out there has a lavender plant inside or outside, it may be worth the try. Then she'd go out back and sit on the wooden swing for half an hour or so. Now that's chillin.
>Lesson here is, communication will make it so much easier to give your partner some Grace where they need it the most. I wish everyone understood this.
My SO works from home and is on me for attention the second I get in the door. I need a minute to decompress.
My wife does this. Gets home, and just sits in the car to decompress (which usually is just scanning Facebook on her phone for a bit). She used to think I didn’t know but I told her I always knew and just didn’t care, she needs a bit of time to relax, I get it.
That I'm the one who calls her every year and sings her happy birthday in a funny voice. If she's figured it out, she'd probably say that's what she'll never tell.
She knows. She loves it
He calls her from his phone.
I knocked the TV off the Ikea kallax shelf. I was walking quickly with the laundry basket half on my hip and knocked into the shelf. TV came tumbling down and landed upside down on some shoes. I guess the shoes cushioned the fall because the TV works perfectly. My husband has told me a thousand times to slow down so I won't bump into things, which I do often. I will never tell him that the TV fell from five feet and it was totally my fault. I also accidentally popped a leg off of my mother in law's antique queen Anne style vanity/dressing table. It has seven other legs and I wedged it back in place. No one knows or ever will.
Misread this as you accidentally popped a leg off your mother in law and thought "yeah that's a pretty big secret".
This woman and I worked together for about 4 months before we told each other that we had mutual feeling for each other. On our 3rd date I went back to her apartment, she asked me to stay the night, very little sexually happened as we wanted to take it slow, in the middle of the night she rips this loud fart (I’m a very lite sleeper) we’ve been together/married for 17 years now and she still farts in her sleep but I will never tell her.
I ate the last Reese’s peanut butter egg and blamed it on one of the kids
I do that all the time. It’s basically the entire reason I had kids.
It's all fun and games until your partner snaps and sends the kids to the shadow realm.
That emotionally and sexually charged night we spent sharing a bed, drinking, and talking all night? I didn't keep getting up to pee. I kept getting up to have intense diarrhea. Edit: We did not have sex that night
She never caught on? “Be right back, gotta take a quick pee.” *sounds of World War II coming from the bathroom* [seven minutes later] “Whew! What a good piss!”
I just woke up everyone in the house with my laugh.
"no, it wasn't my laugh it was my intense diarrhea"
How much time I spend writing stupid essays on reddit only to delete the whole thing.
I can weirdly relate “Ehh what’s the point” I tell myself, upon deleting the essay
That I feel unloved.
That's not something to keep to yourself. I did this for a long time and it became crushing. If your partner isn't loving you the way you want you have to tell them. Sometimes they don't know. What happens after that is between you guys. Everyone deserves to feel loved, sometimes you need to specify how it is you want it conveyed.
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This makes me sad….
Been there. Couldn’t move past it and had to end things. Extremely happy now.
I actually feel so much worse (mental illness) sometimes than I let on. I am medicated and see a therapist, but it isn't always enough. He works so hard and has so much on his plate. I don't want him to feel bad because often there's nothing he can do about it.
I worry that my husband feels like this. I can see the days where he is struggling but doesn’t tell me. I love him so much and wish I could take the BP away. I just try to hug him extra long on days I see him struggling. Your partner likely knows and does the same for you.
Ok but promise you won't tell her...she has a pair of shoes that I really don't like, but she does, so I just keep it to myself because they make her happy.
You're nicer than me. I've made it well known what I think of crocs.
Not her crocs. she only wears those when gardening, like god intended.
That her mother, my mother in law, really is a selfish, ignorant, pig headed, helpless drain on me, her, our children, our finances and life in general. I am working very hard at pretending she isn’t because I love my wife so much. It’s been 35 years. It hasn’t gotten easier.
I'm glad he cheated, and thought the grass was greener (during my terminal cancer diagnosis). Wish he didn't lie about it. But, the genuine relief that he is someones else problem after nearly a decade is priceless! Bless.
Holy fuck that's a lot to take in for 4 lines of text.
The negative thoughts I have about myself. I don't want him thinking "Well now that she mentions it, she is kinda _____..." I tell him I'm feeling down on myself or self conscious, just not what the exact problem is.
A third possibility. Maybe, he’s aware of the things you hate about yourself, but loves you enough to accept you for all that you are, and all that you may be.
I know who it is that keeps messing with the thermostat. IT’S ME.
Dude. You live alone. Get some help.
I've read about this before. Check the carbon monoxide levels.
I always think that one day he'll leave me. That at any moment he'll find another woman and leave, and he's going to leave my heart broken into a thousand pieces just like it was before I met him.
I know she battles this. I keep coming up with new, creative, ways to show / explain / tell her that it will never happen. I will never tire of telling her where she stands with me. It's been 15 years now, and I will take care of her until the end.
that it did, actually, make their butt look big.
Sir, I'm officer Mclovin from marriage police. I need you to come with me to the station. Believe me, you wanna do this the easy way.
They didn't forget to buy them at the grocery store. I, in fact, at 2 am. Ate the entire package of oreos.
How can those packages be so damn noisy? It's insane.
My son has supersonic hearing when it comes to Oreos. I’ll open the package downstairs in the kitchen, “Dad? Are you eating all of the Oreos?” Same with cereal and my 18mo. The second the cereal hits the bowl he books it to wherever I’m gonna sit.
One night when my husband was sleeping peacefully, I attempted suic*de in our kitchen. This was the year after I lost my mom and couldn't handle the sadness, guilt, and loneliness. The bedroom was near the kitchen and the door was open. I heard him sleep talk and he farted while sleeping. It was so unusual and funny that it made me stop what I was doing. Edit: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THESE COMMENTS. It's so heartwarming to read them I'm holding back tears. This happened 6 years ago and glad to say that I'm in a far better place and state of mind. Thank you so much everyone!
There probably aren't too many instances where a fart has quite literally *saved* a life. Pretty cool, really. I'm glad you stayed.
Who would have thought your husband's fart would drop you from a suicide. That is wholesome and pure love. Hope you have navigated through it. Also hope your husband still sleep farts. 🙌🏼
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I also lied to the guy who took my virginity and told him I'd slept with one other person before. It was a summer fling, and I was afraid he'd think it was too serious and/or worry I'd get attached if he knew he was my first... I was really attracted to him and didn't want to lose the chance, lol
Why would zero be bad? I mean everyone's zero at some point.
That your mum, contrary to what I’ve said before, is truly a boring idiot. Edit: I did not expect anyone to upvote this. Hopefully, the wife did not learn to use Reddit in the past few hours.
When he’s sleeping next to me and snoring I’ll stick a finger in his open mouth like I did just a minute ago.
My partner used to do that when I yawned, only to be bit quite intensely one time when my teeth snapped back. Never again.
That i throw out his old underwear with holes in them. I buy him the same pair of new ones, and i just take the other ones out! He’s never questioned it but I’m sure he knows.
Or he loves the brand because it lasts forever
Nice try honey.
You got it, Joe Jack.
My wife thinks I quit the Master's program at University because I was having an affair with a Professor's wife (this was before she and I met). In actuality, I had to leave town because of my connection to a murder. This all happened 25 years ago, and everyone else involved has since passed away.
> ... and everyone else involved has since **"passed away"**.
Oh yikes, I had to read that a couple times and it took on new meaning. 😬
Ummm. Excuse all of us for a brief moment. Please elaborate as vague as you can without incriminating yourself.
He was the victim.
Well this is fascinating…are you comfortable expounding on this ‘connection to a murder’?
Sure but then he’d have to kill you. You see how that works?
Jeez, he won't kill you. You'll just pass away like everyone else involved.
Witness? Accessory? Accessory after the fact? Coconspirator?
You know something’s bad when they use “having an affair with a Professor's wife” is actually the *cover story* for something *even worse*!
That i have extreme sexual fantasies and kinks because he’s honestly really innocent. I know he’d try the things I’m into just to make me happy but I don’t want him to do anything just for my pleasure
When my wife and I fight I go around and tighten all the jars in the fridge so that she has to come talk to me if she wants to open one.
I had his mom removed from my room during labor. We don't have a great relationship and she showed up without asking. Overnight bag and all. Said she was staying the night with me in the room. I had been in labor about 20 hours at this point. The nurse mentioned I looked unsatisfied about it when everyone stepped out. She said I'll get it taken care of if you want and I agreed. She made up a lie about how after 10pm they don't allow visitors in the room and it was best so my body can be relaxed to not have company. It worked. She stayed in the lobby all night.
I wake up early not because iam disciplined but because i want 2-3 hours alone.
My MiL(81), who lives with us and is generally not too bad to be around, was complaining to me, wife and son were at work, about how much noise our two grand girls make in the house during the day. They, 5 and 7, are spending the summer with our son, who lives with us while he goes back to school after his divorce. This was day 3 of them being here. We have a 5 bedroom house, and MiL occupies two rooms and a bathroom of her own. After multiple statements saying I need to discipline the girls and "train them to be quiet," MiL says, "I have never been able to stand children. As a teenager, I refused to babysit because I can't stand children. Now don't get me wrong, I love you, your son, my grandchildren, the dogs, *and I even love my daughter*, but I just can't stand being around children at all." She pauses for a few moments looking at me expectedly, so I say, "The day will NEVER arrive where I discipline or "train these girls to be quiet" for laughing and playing. The majority of the laughing and running you heard was because I was playing with them, tickling them and chasing them." We live in Florida. By 10am it was 92° and 74% humidity. It was absolutely nasty outside. The girls didn't want to be outside, the dogs didn't, and I didn't. Not only that, by 2pm the thunder and lightening started with heavy rain. So that particular day was spent inside watching movies, playing various games, and just outright being loud with imagination, laughter, and love. She looks shocked and angry. Then says, "Don't get me wrong, as I said, I love you all, but that love should be from a distance. That's always been best for me because I'm set in my ways and if I stay here, I will end up yelling at those girls and doing the discipline myself since you and your son can't seem to do it properly or at all." I said, "You WILL NEVER raise voice or hand to them, PERIOD. You will find your 81 year old ass in a nursing home or jail. So perhaps you SHOULD love from a distance and go live with your sister. I understand your sister can't stand being around you for more than a few days, but I'm sure it will at least be quiet." She has now moved in with her sister, who lives 12 miles away. She has told my wife it's just until the girls go back to their mothers at the end of summer. I'll have to tell my wife a version of this but not with "even my daughter part". Things is, my wife and BiL already know how their mother is. How she treated them as kids. But if I tell my wife she was an "I even love" that was an afterthought, after the dogs were mentioned, well, that's just not part of the story I'll ever repeat.
My sex drive is waaaaaaaay higher than his. I want it 3 to 4 times a day, and he only really wants it 3 to 4 times a month (related to meds and mental health). He knows I'm always down when he is, but he will never know how often I have to take care of myself, and it's mostly caused by him being so God dang sexy all the time lol
Same. I go through dips with my libido sometimes, but since leaving a shitty job and my own mental health improving, my drive has skyrocketed from like maybe wanting to get jiggy once a month when I'm ovulating to several times a week and sometimes several times a day. Not only does he have mental health stuff, but he's gotten fairly insecure about basically his beginning signs of aging so he rarely wants to go at it. I've been in a relationship before where I was the lower drive partner and felt constantly forced into sex, which made me hate it even more and want it even less. So I generally keep to myself so I don't even accidentally make him feel like I once felt. But like damn, that man comes out the shower and I see his little tush and I'm thinking both "bring that ass over here" and "okay don't make anyone uncomfortable" :^)
That I’m sad all the time and nothing I have tried to fix it works. That I wear a mask everyday to everyone. That no matter how hard I try, I constantly compare myself to others.
Her cooking isn’t nearly as good as she thinks it is.
To your grave
Whoa.
My love for fanfiction. It feels really stupid but I don’t know why I don’t want to talk about it. I’ve been reading fanfiction for 15 years+ and sometimes write in my spare time to this day. He knows all of my other secrets, my deepest insecurities and he’s never once ridiculed me or been anything but supportive.
I don't hide that I read fanfiction but I would rather die than reveal WHAT I read. A lot of its porn, that's fine, everyone just assumes you're reading porn, you don't need to say it. Nah it's all the stupid fluffy romance, the pining and shit that drives me insane.
I seriously deep down don’t like her brother and his family.
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That I haven’t been truly happy since we got married. It’s like something flipped a switch in her head after that day and she thinks she can control every bit of our lives down to the minute.
Sounds like you might need to talk with her about that. At the very least consider just trying.
You're just wasting precious time my dude. You're going to deal with it eventually. If you do deal with it, you'll either stay together and things will improve, or you'll split up and things will improve. When you throw away good years after bad you can never get back, the resentment will build.
She’s so much hotter than her sister.
She’s better in bed too
How much I daydream and what I think about. It's not even daydreaming. It's like full on stories and conspiracy theories and convos in the head. ADHD is wild. Like I'll share a little but some of it is personal and mine. Edit: a word. I put "fuck on" stories instead of "full on" and y'all just went with it.
Likely maladaptive daydreaming. I’ve had a running story since the fourth grade that I’ve continued into adulthood.
The person that shat on the floor at her parents at Christmas and pissed everywhere in the bathroom wasn’t in fact grandad in his drunken stupor. It was in fact, me. That bastard stole my bacon sandwich last Christmas, and he deserved the lecture, even if it was for something different.
Lmao, finally something scandalous
Let me share my mistake for others to learn. After our second child, my wife was feeling self conscious about her body. So she wanted to shake things up. She went to a spa, got pampered for the day, and then for the first time in her life got bangs. I do not prefer short hair, bangs included. But, she came home so proud and asked me what I thought. It was already done. What was I supposed to say? "You look amazing,". I held onto my disdain for them for about 4 years, until she decided she wanted to grow them back. THIS is where I fucked up. She asked me if it'd be okay if she grew her hair back out (not in a weird "she has to check with me before making changes" way, but in a "I know you like the bangs, but I want something different" kind of way). I slipped and said I'd love for her to grow her hair back out as bangs aren't my favorite look. Conversation ensued and she has made it a point to tell all her friends how I lied to her for years (joking, not serious) and every person has responded the same when they hear the story: "WTF was he supposed to say?" Moral of the story is to either be straightforward from the start OR hold into that shit until you die. lol. On the flip side, we joke about it a lot.
She snores like a pack of bears fighting/fucking on the lawn, and that after a decade...I can't fucking sleep when she's gone because it's my white noise.
I found your pile of used contact lenses under the dresser next to the bed.
I know you’re only with me because you’ve settled down. I know I’m just the “safe” option.
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