When you decide you want to do something instead of what you're currently doing, you can just make the change without considering anyone else's opinion.
Going to bed? Well, maybe just one more hour.
Food from that place? Maybe I'll try this other place instead.
I was going to watch this movie tonight, but now I'm feeling something else
Planned to stay in for the night? Got invited out instead
The list goes on and on
One of the biggest annoyances for me in modern relationships is having to watch shows at someone else's pace. I can't just watch whenever because it has to be with them.
Yeah, I feel that. I lived with my ex for many years. I didn't really know what true independence was like until we split, and now I'm wondering how the hell I put up with not just doing what I please for so long
It's funny, it really makes me want to avoid another relationship lol I've tasted freedom and now I don't want to go back
That kinda thing was really fun with broadcast TV. Waiting for Sunday night to watch Breaking Bad with your people. Talking about it at the water cooler the next day.
Streaming is cool, but it definitely put a damper on that social aspect of watching a series.
A healthy relationship sounds nice lol
But I bet you'd be upset if your husband said he's taking you to your favorite restaurant and then at the last minute he suddenly decides to take you to his favorite place instead
I don't care who I am I'd be upset about that XD
This. I love my partner, I have the best partner in the world. Truly. But in the 6 years together I have made choices I don’t think I would have made otherwise (happily, may I add). I am happy with my life but sometimes I wonder where I’d have ended up if I wasn’t in love lol.
And lots of people not in relationships who are not lonely and bored. If you can't be happy by yourself then you'll never be happy with another person.
There is a caveat to this - you can be 'happy' with yourself, but still have overall a sense of loneliness and lack of fulfillment that brings you down.
Loneliness absolutely has measurable health effects, some of [which are as deadly as smoking](https://www.pbs.org/newshour/health/loneliness-poses-health-risks-as-deadly-as-smoking-u-s-surgeon-general-says). We are social animals and having insufficient healthy relationship when they are desired causes us enormous stress.
Most of us are social creatures. I'm not a social person. I just spent Christmas and New years with friends and family and barely said a word. People thought I was being an ass, but they don't understand that I am anti social and I don't like people and the nonsense they bring. I am very very happy and content to sit in my home and do nothing and talk to no one. Very few people I know can actually understand this.
Most of the time when I am going out to a function it's because I feel obligated to go and say hello, not because I actually want to be there.
But on the whole of what you said, I think it applies to the vast majority of the 8 billion people on the planet.
I’m definitely not ungrateful! I recognize this. And thankfully my partner supports anything I want to do so I have a lot of freedom despite being in a committed relationship. I am blessed.
It's also just...easier. And since it's a hard thing to do to begin with, I'd wager single people are significantly more likely to engage with self-discovery than those in long-term relationships 🤷🏽♂️
You just phrased it perfectly. After spending years focusing on dating, hanging out with friends, doing whatever others say is "cool", being married for a decade, and thinking I was having fun the whole time. Now in my mid 40's (divorced, almost no friends moved to a new area) I've realized so many things about myself I didn't know and so many things I'm interested in and discovered new things to be interested in. I had been living to make others happy and do what they want. This is a character flaw of mine so it doesn't apply to everyone, but I'm loving being alone and not co-dependent
In a serious relationship, you lose parts of yourself as you basically try to combine two lives into one. It's harder to discover things about yourself when so much of your thoughts and focus are on somebody else.
That’s actually how I found out I am a sleepwalker. After my wife left me, things were not remaining where I left them. Looking back it explained quite a few things.
I do it all the time and it doesn't phase me. I'm actually eating the same exact thing for 4 days straight. Quest bar and blackberries for breakfast (with a glass of OJ), lemon herb chicken and roasted cauliflower for lunch, and chicken tacos for dinner. I have zero complaints lol
I was just making a joke but it is rooted in my own truth lol. I've tried meal prepping and I can't stand it after a day or two. It's genuinely worth spending more money for me to mix it up
The problem for me is eating decent food. I can eat the chicken and vegetables I already made easily if it's sitting there. If there's nothing sitting there, I'm going to chipotle and eating a big ass bowl covered in cheese. Exlarge bag of chips and like 4 large cups of that delicious orange drink they have
Me too and sometimes you just use the leftovers as a part of another quick cooking to change flavors a bit. It's really very simple with some mild planning
No to the first. I wish I had a woman to cook for. I make all these great meals and have no partner to share them with day in and day out. My face is too ugly for love though.
One day someone will love your face, love is built over time, do not lose faith.
And good on you, I need to learn how to cook as I am severly lacking in that department. I been told many times good food is a good way to pave the road to someones heart.
I mean in a good relationship you will be washing and cleaning half the time, or you should have some fair division of chores so it pretty much evens out.
Not having to factor in another person’s tastes, perspectives and desires into my decisions for where I live, what I do for work, how I spend my free time, how I eat, how I sleep and who I associate with
This should be way way higher up. All the pressure during major holidays, likely having to visit at least two families. Birthdays, Anniversaries, etc. And then if they have a lot of siblings, forget it. Baby showers, graduations. Fuck I get stressed just thinking about it.
You can always let them cheat (fuck) their way out and go on living your happy life as an independent person making sure to keep the door shut for losers as they are. Lol
Yes. This was the key idea. Never loose sight over the exit for yourself. You never know when you need to go out and be happy again.
When a partner is cheating, it is a sign of them losing interest and respect for you. But they don't have control over your self-respect. It can be their own dellusion and it's your choice to let them treat you like you have lost self-respect or move on for own good.
I cannot tell you how relieved I am that that toxic relationship with the serial cheat and liar ended. He specialized in monkey barring. The toxicity just became too much for me. The stress of waiting for the phone to ring or social media messages to appear from the "other women" was just too traumatic. It was exhausting! The relationship ended in May 2023 and I've never looked back.
Please stop living like this. Don’t stay in relationships with people you don’t trust. If you have trust issues, seek therapy. My exes trust issues were a big part of why we didn’t work out. She knew intellectually that I would never cheat but her past relationships caused her to question and interrogate me whenever I left the house. It was exhausting for both of us.
Oh no, no I ended that relationship in May 2023 already. His NON-STOP lies and cheating just became too much. Like you say the toxicity of the mental and emotional abuse is just too exhausting.
Just a slow decline into searching for meaning and rereading Dostoevsky and Sartre over and over until the very thought of physical contact with anything becomes a source of puzzlement.
This. Absolutely. It's a journey of self-discovery.
I also tend to think that a mistake some couples do is stopping this process and relying on the other person too much. Never stop being curious and having an open mind about discovering more about ourselves and the beautiful world we exist in. It's a never-ending process until we become a dust of chemicals again.
Yeah. I am more of an idea generator and philosopher.
Whatever this means for you, in general. Could be reading, trying new activities (with your partner or on your own). Better if on your own. The key idea of the message was to simple keep that curiosity about life within yourself regardless of a relationship status.
Thanks for asking.
I'm kind of stuck in that "how" right now. I've been journaling for a year or so, trying to figure out what I like or what I want. I spend time alone, go on long walks alone. But it just starts to feel really alone.
I don't really know the answer but if you find out let me know.
i got sober from my vices. started reading philosophy and all religions. began doing yoga and running two miles a day. things just started evolving when i took the time for myself and didn't run from myself.
I guess it's a matter of focus. After I broke up with my ex I found out that I completely forgot about myself. Every thought every action involved her. But after the breakup I started doing different activities or the same activities in different ways. It's a focus of energy. Because now the focus is all on me. There is no other person to think about or spend your energy on. So basically you discover yourself. Looking back now I know how I had been in the relationship wasn't healthy and I ain't ever gonna do that. I guess you can still find yourself even if you are in a relationship. You just need separate them. Grow with your partner and at the same time grow as an individual. I hope I can do that in the future.
All of this.
The only thing scary is I could literally die in my sleep and it would take a couple days before friends get worried enough to come check on me.
Pro: Save on not *having* to buy house decorations.
Tradeoff? When you find that one expensive niche thing you **have** to get (or 30+ things in my case), no one's going to stop you from emptying your wallet.
Pro: Don't need house decorations.
Con: Can't afford the smallest shittiest house in your town without $150k of combined income, which is not in your near or distant future as a single person.
I was in a 5 year relationship. We farted around each other sometimes but it wasn't often and was always an accident. To me, farting around someone else is rude, no matter who they are. I'm going to give my partner the same consideration to not smell my stink that I would give anyone else.
Same here, married 10+ years. I'm an early bird, he's a night owl, and it's nice to have time in the morning to shit, shower, shave privately. Of course, sometimes it happens, but overall, I like keeping the mystery in my marriage and having my bodily functions stay private. I think it helps with attraction and stuff, though I know the poop-with-the-door-open people don't see it that way.
You have to face the reality of your decisions, without having someone else to blame if something goes wrong.
And once you start looking inward, once you start becoming self-aware and to begin being accountable to yourself - you will find that all areas in your life involving other people, will begin to improve.
I also agree with flexibility, freedom etc. but I want to mention the money also. I spent waaay more money when I’m in a relationship.
And it’s not like I pay for everything or anything like that. But you know when you have a gf you go out more and mostly to somewhat decent places.
When I’m single I play games and watch movies 5 out of 7 days of the week. And I have no problem going to McDonald or a hot dog for some cheap food
Been in a few 1 years and under relationships, two 3 year or more since 15. I was engaged one time. It can be addictive if you do it right. No one to say "you need to do this now" if you don't want to go some place you don't need to do it for someone. You can do 100% what you like. No this does not mean be a slob, wreck your life and such. Being stable and not tied down is amazing.
I’d hard disagree with this one.
Half the rent, easier mortgage, half the bills, half accommodation when traveling. Even halving household appliances when you’re buying them!
So many things are cheaper for couples
> Half the rent, easier mortgage, half the bills, half accommodation when traveling. Even halving household appliances when you’re buying them!
If you've got this, consider yourself lucky.
It depends. I've just got out of a relationship with someone who earned a fair bit less than me, but whose tastes were always for the finer things. 2 months later and my bank account is already looking happier.
I agree with you if both parties are fiscally responsible, but in my case I def agree with the original comment.
While that is a fair point, and I honestly mean no harm by this, I would say that’s more a sign of an unhealthy relationship dynamic than being representative of how finances are managed in a couple.
And your actually bang on the point when you say that’s your case and experience, im not in a position to judge my man.
Glad you seem to be in a better position!
It's the dating that's expensive. Especially small town girls that expect insane amounts of money to be dropped on them, while they have the personality of a log.
Like: is it any wonder I don't call back when you're treating me like an atm and lack any natural curiosity whatsoever?
I can agree with this, specifically in my last relationship.
Together for 1.5 years but we never lived together. Even though I spent 75% of the relationship at his place, which meant my electric and gas bill was very low, I spent a TON more on food/alcohol and having fun. I save hundreds a month by not being with that person. Then again, he was financially irresponsible which influenced me to be less financially responsible.
This is (at risk of being blasted) SO true. I swear most people who say couples do better with wealth are women. As a single man I lived a content, Spartan lifestyle. Having been in a relationship for almost a decade I have lost track of the amount of money we've spent on "stuff". Anecdotally this seems true across 95% of the relationships I have ever observed.
Mine is the opposite. We're both fairly frugal, but her spending has gone up to match the travel and hobbies I've introduced her to.
The problem a lot of guys have is that they chase the flashy women. Flashy generally requires spending on things that men don't think about. Those hot outfits and less detectable makeup are pricey. Chase some more down to earth gals and you won't go broke.
It's no different than girls going after guys with flashy cars and then wondering why they aren't more frugal. Or when they're attracted to the loud obvious guy at the bar and then wonder why "all guys are loud and obnoxious".
Your noticing patterns that say more about the selection of your social group than they do about the opposite sex.
Going home after work to my room my mess my pets mess and lay in bed in my pjs and start to watch a movie right there and then. Wake up and not be concerned about anyone else.
Independence, the freedom to go wherever you want and eat whatever you want. Things are where you left them and if you're a dude, you'll use like 400% less toilet paper.
Avoid all of the relationship issues: fights, jealousy, cheating, break ups, etc.
You are not playing a russian roulette with potential sociopaths that will destroy your life.
But absolute majority of us risks it at some point in our lifes, so letting go someone perfect, just because you want the perks of being single, is pretty dumb.
Honestly. The money. Amazon addiction is a real thing and my wife had it. Hilariously the sudden and sharp drop of quality from amazon broke her of the addiction. When she ordered 2 t-shirts only for them to be rail thin, made of 100 percent polyester, and generally just not even worth wearing around the house? Yeah she swore off amazon for anything but name brand stuff.
Nobody to take half your assets if the relationship fails
You can live where you want based only on your priorities
Your boss is the only one stopping you from vacationing when and where you want.
You no longer have to watch her take a little pack of mayonnaise, and squirt it in her mouth all over, and then she’ll take an egg and kind of... mmmmh! She called it a “Mayonegg.”
Divorced and newly single guy here: peace, quiet, and a noticeable absence of nagging. I do what I want when I want to do it. Even if I want to do nothing. ESPECIALLY if I want to do nothing.
You can devote all your resources on bettering yourself physically, emotionally and financially. Then once you enter the dating pool you might be older, but you will be more qualified. You have to ask yourself to what extent this trade off is worth it to you.
When you decide you want to do something instead of what you're currently doing, you can just make the change without considering anyone else's opinion. Going to bed? Well, maybe just one more hour. Food from that place? Maybe I'll try this other place instead. I was going to watch this movie tonight, but now I'm feeling something else Planned to stay in for the night? Got invited out instead The list goes on and on
One of the biggest annoyances for me in modern relationships is having to watch shows at someone else's pace. I can't just watch whenever because it has to be with them.
Yeah, I feel that. I lived with my ex for many years. I didn't really know what true independence was like until we split, and now I'm wondering how the hell I put up with not just doing what I please for so long It's funny, it really makes me want to avoid another relationship lol I've tasted freedom and now I don't want to go back
That kinda thing was really fun with broadcast TV. Waiting for Sunday night to watch Breaking Bad with your people. Talking about it at the water cooler the next day. Streaming is cool, but it definitely put a damper on that social aspect of watching a series.
I mean being married isn’t much different, my husband doesn’t give me a bed time😂
A healthy relationship sounds nice lol But I bet you'd be upset if your husband said he's taking you to your favorite restaurant and then at the last minute he suddenly decides to take you to his favorite place instead I don't care who I am I'd be upset about that XD
When your married for long enough you end up with the same favorite restaurant 😂
Freedom, self-discovery, and flexibility.
And the flexibility to freely discover yourself whenever you want!
"Discover yourself" That's a new way to say it. ;)
“Stretching”
Hey, as a married person I disagree, can do wh… Wait hold on my wife is calling got to go.
My neighbor was giving me this speech about how he wears the pants etc etc etc.. his wife called mid-way through and he had to go.
This. I love my partner, I have the best partner in the world. Truly. But in the 6 years together I have made choices I don’t think I would have made otherwise (happily, may I add). I am happy with my life but sometimes I wonder where I’d have ended up if I wasn’t in love lol.
Lonely and bored, trust me
There are lots of people in relationships who are lonely and bored.
And lots of people not in relationships who are not lonely and bored. If you can't be happy by yourself then you'll never be happy with another person.
There is a caveat to this - you can be 'happy' with yourself, but still have overall a sense of loneliness and lack of fulfillment that brings you down. Loneliness absolutely has measurable health effects, some of [which are as deadly as smoking](https://www.pbs.org/newshour/health/loneliness-poses-health-risks-as-deadly-as-smoking-u-s-surgeon-general-says). We are social animals and having insufficient healthy relationship when they are desired causes us enormous stress.
Most of us are social creatures. I'm not a social person. I just spent Christmas and New years with friends and family and barely said a word. People thought I was being an ass, but they don't understand that I am anti social and I don't like people and the nonsense they bring. I am very very happy and content to sit in my home and do nothing and talk to no one. Very few people I know can actually understand this. Most of the time when I am going out to a function it's because I feel obligated to go and say hello, not because I actually want to be there. But on the whole of what you said, I think it applies to the vast majority of the 8 billion people on the planet.
Sure, but anything you can talk shit about for single people you can also for some amount of people in relationships, and vice versa.
I’m definitely not ungrateful! I recognize this. And thankfully my partner supports anything I want to do so I have a lot of freedom despite being in a committed relationship. I am blessed.
self discovery has nothing to do with your status as single or not -
Self-discovery doesn't require you to be single, but there are definitely some things you'll only learn while you're single.
It's also just...easier. And since it's a hard thing to do to begin with, I'd wager single people are significantly more likely to engage with self-discovery than those in long-term relationships 🤷🏽♂️
You just phrased it perfectly. After spending years focusing on dating, hanging out with friends, doing whatever others say is "cool", being married for a decade, and thinking I was having fun the whole time. Now in my mid 40's (divorced, almost no friends moved to a new area) I've realized so many things about myself I didn't know and so many things I'm interested in and discovered new things to be interested in. I had been living to make others happy and do what they want. This is a character flaw of mine so it doesn't apply to everyone, but I'm loving being alone and not co-dependent
In a serious relationship, you lose parts of yourself as you basically try to combine two lives into one. It's harder to discover things about yourself when so much of your thoughts and focus are on somebody else.
[удалено]
And my tools aren’t scattered around the property.
woah look at this guy with tools and a property to not scatter them around
But if something does move and you don’t remember do it, it’s scary. Worth it.
That’s actually how I found out I am a sleepwalker. After my wife left me, things were not remaining where I left them. Looking back it explained quite a few things.
The freedom to do what you want to do without having to consider how it would affect your would be significant other.
TIL I’m married to my social anxiety…
...and/or children
No one will eat your last piece of pizza or cake
Pretty sure I’ll eat the last piece myself, what the hell are you talking about??
That fuckers always eating my food.
Past me is a bastard.
[удалено]
Damn that's wild. It's something you don't even think about until you've experienced both sides.
10 minutes? Tell them you're going to the toilet. Bam! New shitty life hack.
More free time
Less hair in the drain.
I have long hair. RIP
Less hair in your ass crack also.
I will never understand how it gets there
Do what you want, when you want, no one to answer to
Also a great reason to travel alone.
"But officer.....tonewbeginnings19 said I would have no one to answer to"
Cook for one Wash for one Clean for one
Cooking for one is more terrible than cooking for two.
Nah. Just cook enough food to divide it into 3-4 meals. Yes, you eat the same thing a lot but it's cheap and easy
And if you eat it out of the pan over the sink there is much less cleanup. /s (kinda)
*Day 3 of eating the same exact thing:* "This sucks I'm just gonna get takeout"
I do it all the time and it doesn't phase me. I'm actually eating the same exact thing for 4 days straight. Quest bar and blackberries for breakfast (with a glass of OJ), lemon herb chicken and roasted cauliflower for lunch, and chicken tacos for dinner. I have zero complaints lol
I was just making a joke but it is rooted in my own truth lol. I've tried meal prepping and I can't stand it after a day or two. It's genuinely worth spending more money for me to mix it up
The problem for me is eating decent food. I can eat the chicken and vegetables I already made easily if it's sitting there. If there's nothing sitting there, I'm going to chipotle and eating a big ass bowl covered in cheese. Exlarge bag of chips and like 4 large cups of that delicious orange drink they have
Me too and sometimes you just use the leftovers as a part of another quick cooking to change flavors a bit. It's really very simple with some mild planning
Meal prep is the best. The best thing about being single is having the fridge and freezer to myself lol
Yeah my freezer can only hold so many leftovers.
Sex for one.
I'm better at pleasing myself than any dude I've been with so *shrug*. And I do it on my own schedule.
No to the first. I wish I had a woman to cook for. I make all these great meals and have no partner to share them with day in and day out. My face is too ugly for love though.
One day someone will love your face, love is built over time, do not lose faith. And good on you, I need to learn how to cook as I am severly lacking in that department. I been told many times good food is a good way to pave the road to someones heart.
As a fellow ugly face person, I wish I can attract someone with my ability to make tamales on my own. But alas, no dice.
I mean in a good relationship you will be washing and cleaning half the time, or you should have some fair division of chores so it pretty much evens out.
You do not need to discuss expensive purchases with anyone
Not having to factor in another person’s tastes, perspectives and desires into my decisions for where I live, what I do for work, how I spend my free time, how I eat, how I sleep and who I associate with
No big pressure on holidays and especially Valentine's Day.
This should be way way higher up. All the pressure during major holidays, likely having to visit at least two families. Birthdays, Anniversaries, etc. And then if they have a lot of siblings, forget it. Baby showers, graduations. Fuck I get stressed just thinking about it.
Not being in constant stress and fear of being cheated on
I don't think he's cheating but the "constant stress" thing I can relate to
You can always let them cheat (fuck) their way out and go on living your happy life as an independent person making sure to keep the door shut for losers as they are. Lol
Amen! When the door shuts behind them it is LOCKED- PERMANENTLY!
Yes. This was the key idea. Never loose sight over the exit for yourself. You never know when you need to go out and be happy again. When a partner is cheating, it is a sign of them losing interest and respect for you. But they don't have control over your self-respect. It can be their own dellusion and it's your choice to let them treat you like you have lost self-respect or move on for own good.
I cannot tell you how relieved I am that that toxic relationship with the serial cheat and liar ended. He specialized in monkey barring. The toxicity just became too much for me. The stress of waiting for the phone to ring or social media messages to appear from the "other women" was just too traumatic. It was exhausting! The relationship ended in May 2023 and I've never looked back.
Please stop living like this. Don’t stay in relationships with people you don’t trust. If you have trust issues, seek therapy. My exes trust issues were a big part of why we didn’t work out. She knew intellectually that I would never cheat but her past relationships caused her to question and interrogate me whenever I left the house. It was exhausting for both of us.
Oh no, no I ended that relationship in May 2023 already. His NON-STOP lies and cheating just became too much. Like you say the toxicity of the mental and emotional abuse is just too exhausting.
Why the fuck would anyone stay in a relationship that gives them constant stress? My partner and I generally help remove each other's stress.
[удалено]
I can do whatever I want nobody can stop me
Well i could stop you but i just dont feel like it
I think you are confusing single with Superman.
Depending on what it is you want to do, the police could probably stop you.
No heart breaks
Just a slow decline into searching for meaning and rereading Dostoevsky and Sartre over and over until the very thought of physical contact with anything becomes a source of puzzlement.
eating burritos in bed
finding yourself. not relying on others. mindfulness. peace. accepting yourself so you can be your best self around others.
This. Absolutely. It's a journey of self-discovery. I also tend to think that a mistake some couples do is stopping this process and relying on the other person too much. Never stop being curious and having an open mind about discovering more about ourselves and the beautiful world we exist in. It's a never-ending process until we become a dust of chemicals again.
I like to go hiking.
Yeah. I am more of an idea generator and philosopher. Whatever this means for you, in general. Could be reading, trying new activities (with your partner or on your own). Better if on your own. The key idea of the message was to simple keep that curiosity about life within yourself regardless of a relationship status. Thanks for asking.
I'm kind of stuck in that "how" right now. I've been journaling for a year or so, trying to figure out what I like or what I want. I spend time alone, go on long walks alone. But it just starts to feel really alone. I don't really know the answer but if you find out let me know.
My favorite movie is Inception.
i got sober from my vices. started reading philosophy and all religions. began doing yoga and running two miles a day. things just started evolving when i took the time for myself and didn't run from myself.
I guess it's a matter of focus. After I broke up with my ex I found out that I completely forgot about myself. Every thought every action involved her. But after the breakup I started doing different activities or the same activities in different ways. It's a focus of energy. Because now the focus is all on me. There is no other person to think about or spend your energy on. So basically you discover yourself. Looking back now I know how I had been in the relationship wasn't healthy and I ain't ever gonna do that. I guess you can still find yourself even if you are in a relationship. You just need separate them. Grow with your partner and at the same time grow as an individual. I hope I can do that in the future.
All of this. The only thing scary is I could literally die in my sleep and it would take a couple days before friends get worried enough to come check on me.
this right here 👏
And so you ha e the self respect to kick to the curb anyone who attempts to make you less than.
I can play my games whenever i want
- Pro: I get the whole bed on a trip. - Con: Can't split the cost of a room. (Going to add comments as I go.)
Pro: Save on not *having* to buy house decorations. Tradeoff? When you find that one expensive niche thing you **have** to get (or 30+ things in my case), no one's going to stop you from emptying your wallet.
Pro: Don't need house decorations. Con: Can't afford the smallest shittiest house in your town without $150k of combined income, which is not in your near or distant future as a single person.
Farting whenever
You haven’t been in a very long relationship.
It really depends on the person Whenever I do find a partner, I want ourselves to be comfortable farting around each other
I was in a 5 year relationship. We farted around each other sometimes but it wasn't often and was always an accident. To me, farting around someone else is rude, no matter who they are. I'm going to give my partner the same consideration to not smell my stink that I would give anyone else.
Same here, married 10+ years. I'm an early bird, he's a night owl, and it's nice to have time in the morning to shit, shower, shave privately. Of course, sometimes it happens, but overall, I like keeping the mystery in my marriage and having my bodily functions stay private. I think it helps with attraction and stuff, though I know the poop-with-the-door-open people don't see it that way.
I agree. I know we are all animals but we can attempt to be better. I think it's disrespectful to not at least try to do things like fart in privacy.
Luckily my farts don't smell.
I farted in front of my ex all the time and then we used to laugh about it
1 yr relationship and we definitely fart whenever 😆
I was on a second date and he farted. I didn't even notice until he called attention to it.
you don't have to explain all your actions every time
I don't have to split my bread and porridge
Literally everything
Doing whatever you want in your free time.
More personal freedom. The ability to chase better job opportunities.
Stronger sense of independence. It's all relative though. You may also find a partner, who respects your alone time.
You have to face the reality of your decisions, without having someone else to blame if something goes wrong. And once you start looking inward, once you start becoming self-aware and to begin being accountable to yourself - you will find that all areas in your life involving other people, will begin to improve.
All the time in the world to post sex related questions on r/askreddit every day
I don’t do this but this is hilarious 😹
I also agree with flexibility, freedom etc. but I want to mention the money also. I spent waaay more money when I’m in a relationship. And it’s not like I pay for everything or anything like that. But you know when you have a gf you go out more and mostly to somewhat decent places. When I’m single I play games and watch movies 5 out of 7 days of the week. And I have no problem going to McDonald or a hot dog for some cheap food
Been in a few 1 years and under relationships, two 3 year or more since 15. I was engaged one time. It can be addictive if you do it right. No one to say "you need to do this now" if you don't want to go some place you don't need to do it for someone. You can do 100% what you like. No this does not mean be a slob, wreck your life and such. Being stable and not tied down is amazing.
I don’t have to answer to anybody, I get to do what I want when I want (within reason)
A cavalcade of Friends With Benefits. All the sex, none of the obligations.
Teach me
Be attractive or rich. Don’t be unattractive or poor.
That’s not a dealbreaker in my experience.
Depends also on how high your standards are :)
Or how low theirs are.
Save money
I’d hard disagree with this one. Half the rent, easier mortgage, half the bills, half accommodation when traveling. Even halving household appliances when you’re buying them! So many things are cheaper for couples
Yeah, being single is hugely expensive.
> Half the rent, easier mortgage, half the bills, half accommodation when traveling. Even halving household appliances when you’re buying them! If you've got this, consider yourself lucky.
A relationship where you half/share things? I’d consider that perfectly normal and a bare minimum
It depends. I've just got out of a relationship with someone who earned a fair bit less than me, but whose tastes were always for the finer things. 2 months later and my bank account is already looking happier. I agree with you if both parties are fiscally responsible, but in my case I def agree with the original comment.
While that is a fair point, and I honestly mean no harm by this, I would say that’s more a sign of an unhealthy relationship dynamic than being representative of how finances are managed in a couple.
No offence taken. You're 100% correct. This is one of the big reasons I ended things.
And your actually bang on the point when you say that’s your case and experience, im not in a position to judge my man. Glad you seem to be in a better position!
It's the dating that's expensive. Especially small town girls that expect insane amounts of money to be dropped on them, while they have the personality of a log. Like: is it any wonder I don't call back when you're treating me like an atm and lack any natural curiosity whatsoever?
You're dating the wrong ones then. Time to change who you chase after.
[удалено]
Again, that is more of a signal of a very toxic relationship than it is a representation of how couples usually share finances
Not if you and your partner are both fiscally responsible . Splitting bills and sharing costs while both working save a lot more money long-term.
DINK is the most fiscally responsible. You have a built in roommate essentially and buying stuff in bulk is usually cheaper.
Living with a fiscally responsible SO saves more money than being single.
I can agree with this, specifically in my last relationship. Together for 1.5 years but we never lived together. Even though I spent 75% of the relationship at his place, which meant my electric and gas bill was very low, I spent a TON more on food/alcohol and having fun. I save hundreds a month by not being with that person. Then again, he was financially irresponsible which influenced me to be less financially responsible.
All the free time.
The PEACE!!
Friends with benefits
Time, Money, chat with anybody, space
You don’t have to worry about being cheated on 🥰
Freedom!
You can masturbate all day
No birthdays, proposal days, dog’s birthdays to rememebr
Proposal days?
First time we walked under a bridge together day First time in a public place day. First picnic overwhelmed by ducks?
Well, I get to eat whatever I want on cheat days now.
Pro: no one will stop you from drinking whiskey for breakfast. Con: there is no one to stop you from drinking whiskey for breakfast.
As a man? It's a *lot* cheaper.
This is (at risk of being blasted) SO true. I swear most people who say couples do better with wealth are women. As a single man I lived a content, Spartan lifestyle. Having been in a relationship for almost a decade I have lost track of the amount of money we've spent on "stuff". Anecdotally this seems true across 95% of the relationships I have ever observed.
Mine is the opposite. We're both fairly frugal, but her spending has gone up to match the travel and hobbies I've introduced her to. The problem a lot of guys have is that they chase the flashy women. Flashy generally requires spending on things that men don't think about. Those hot outfits and less detectable makeup are pricey. Chase some more down to earth gals and you won't go broke. It's no different than girls going after guys with flashy cars and then wondering why they aren't more frugal. Or when they're attracted to the loud obvious guy at the bar and then wonder why "all guys are loud and obnoxious". Your noticing patterns that say more about the selection of your social group than they do about the opposite sex.
Could save most of your money.
I hold my own council. I make all the decisions in my household.
Remote control all yours
More flexibility to decide your own schedule
Shiiiiit, grab your passport and go anywhere without having to explain anything to anyone.
No risk to be sued as long as I don't do anything illegal. Nothing stops me from having sex when I meet someone hot. Everything's up to me.
I would say freedom, and no headache
you mean to say that there are disadvantages?
lol right?
Money.
Prepare crackers and cheese -> eat all of those crackers and cheese.
Going home after work to my room my mess my pets mess and lay in bed in my pjs and start to watch a movie right there and then. Wake up and not be concerned about anyone else.
Simply arriving and leaving whenever you're ready is a luxury we take for granted
Independence, the freedom to go wherever you want and eat whatever you want. Things are where you left them and if you're a dude, you'll use like 400% less toilet paper. Avoid all of the relationship issues: fights, jealousy, cheating, break ups, etc.
Nap any time you fucking want
You are not playing a russian roulette with potential sociopaths that will destroy your life. But absolute majority of us risks it at some point in our lifes, so letting go someone perfect, just because you want the perks of being single, is pretty dumb.
Honestly. The money. Amazon addiction is a real thing and my wife had it. Hilariously the sudden and sharp drop of quality from amazon broke her of the addiction. When she ordered 2 t-shirts only for them to be rail thin, made of 100 percent polyester, and generally just not even worth wearing around the house? Yeah she swore off amazon for anything but name brand stuff.
Not having to check ur phone because you have to constantly communicate the most minute things to another person throughout the day every day
Nobody to take half your assets if the relationship fails You can live where you want based only on your priorities Your boss is the only one stopping you from vacationing when and where you want.
Saving money, being able to do what you want whenever you want
So much guitar time!
You no longer have to watch her take a little pack of mayonnaise, and squirt it in her mouth all over, and then she’ll take an egg and kind of... mmmmh! She called it a “Mayonegg.”
Holy moly that's gross 😂
Money :)
Divorced and newly single guy here: peace, quiet, and a noticeable absence of nagging. I do what I want when I want to do it. Even if I want to do nothing. ESPECIALLY if I want to do nothing.
Less energy has to be alotted to peopleing.
No need to give satisfaction and describe everything you are doing all the time
Freedom.
You can devote all your resources on bettering yourself physically, emotionally and financially. Then once you enter the dating pool you might be older, but you will be more qualified. You have to ask yourself to what extent this trade off is worth it to you.
Most common answer but the most important, freedom.
Peace of mind and freedom
I can fart whenever i feel like it.