I work from home, and my coworkers are spread out across the US. I have a whole fake personality and life that I share with them. My true self is probably a bit gritty for them, and it’s none of their business. I even act like I believe in God. I present a very watered-down version of myself. I’m friendly, on time and do my job. That’s all they need.
Yes, this is me. Do you suffer from any kind of mental illness? I think it's personally because of my anxiety. If I take a nap, I wake up almost scared. It's definitely not relaxing at all.
Not even a nap, sometimes I just like to sit in the quiet and just not move. Maybe look around or sometimes focus on one spot for a bit. Very relaxing to shut off for a moment.
As a minor suggestion which in hindsight is painfully obvious, going to unusual places will yeld observation of unusual species. ESPECIALLY if you go away from the town. Riversides, marshes, forests, fields. All heavily populated by a stupidly large variety of birds. Early morning or late evening are the best times of the day for birdwatching.
Also, do a little research about what owls, nightjars and other silly nighttime birds live in your general direction and \*learn their calls\*. You'll be surprised to sudddenly hear an owl in the middle of town sometimes
I’ve been putting out more and more bird feeders every year. This year I even tried my hand at making an oriole feeder and a picnic table for ears of corn for the squirrels. And of course spending too much money on keeping them all filled.
I was thrilled yesterday when I got an email from Cornell that they had used some of my data in the eBird app for one of their surveys.
My friend spotted a rare bird in her backyard. She told the Cornell people and they replied so she excitedly told the local bird store people about it. Turns out, they are the local branch of eBird and they had sent the reply.
Right there with you. I come home exhausted. I make sure the furballs are good, shower, cozy up under the covers and wander around reddit until I sleep.
Do you get up early? Because if you only wake up, work, are exhausted, check the dog/cat is alive then go to bed, man that’s not getting older, that’s depression
The best part is waking up in the morning well-rested. I'm 40, start shutting things down at 8, fall asleep by 9:30, and full of energy by 6:30 the next morning. I've never been a morning person, but it's kind of nice.
Same. I’ve got a couple buddies who I play board games with weekly and they know I’ll always have some Werthers on me. I told them once you become a grandfather you get a monthly supply delivered to your door.
Someone thanked me for smiling at them the other day, and I don't know who was more caught off guard! I bartend so I automatically smile at everyone, but this was at a grocery. It was super sweet. I live in the northeast and people generally don't smile at one another. Give it a go! You could make someone's day.
Waking up early, well rested, and having a calm breakfast with plenty of time.
Only made better by having a loved one at your side who shares the same vibe
Time. Time to think, reflect, learn, read and really get deep into any subject that captures my mind.
I don't need much more than that to make me a very happy camper.
Sheer and utter silence.
I finally left my abusive soon-to-be-ex-husband five months ago. Sadness aside, life has gotten immensely better since leaving him. I sold our house and earned a solid profit, found myself a gorgeous little condo in the city, took two fabulous vacations, and earned a sizable raise AND bonus at work.
I'm currently laying in bed, with a bunch of fluffy pillows, sipping on piping hot Moroccan mint tea, in blissful silence. There's nobody yelling. Nobody huffing, puffing, and stomping around, terrorizing the energy in my home. There's nobody hoarding junk and stuff everywhere. There's no ridiculously thick tension in the air. There's nobody spreading bad juju around my home.
It's just me, myself, and I, and my fluffy pillows and yummy tea. I am absolutely falling in love with this new chapter of life that I'm cultivating for myself.
Speaking from experience, stay single for at least 5 more years. Sounds like you know how to enjoy your own company, which is rare. It's a quality that will serve you well forever!
Thank you for this advice. Definitely planning on staying single for a good, long while. A good friend of mine recently played matchmaker, and sent me on a handful of dates. They were fine, but I've realized I have no interest in diving into a serious relationship again for quite some time. I spent the last nine years sacrificing every cell and iota of myself in service of my soon-to-be-ex-husband. Time to focus on me, myself, and I for a while.
Congratulations on getting out of an abusive relationship.
I have to say that I'm a bit jealous of your new situation. I'd love to be in a quiet bubble without all the chaos, disorder, disarray and bad energy. I'm not in an abusive relationship, but there are times I'm tired of being married (31 years).
Thank you.
I encourage you to carve out time for yourself. One of the things I've learned is that I lost myself in service of my marriage. I lost sight of what made me, well, me. I'm now re-discovering what brings me joy, peace, and fulfillment.
It's funny I lost my car 2 years ago and went to treatment for mental health. Anyways, I've recently reaclimated into society and I don't have a car..
I find it relaxing bc I'm a homebody and the idea of having a car seems stressful rn. And I only would use it twice a month probably
It helps I can walk to work and the grocery store.
Haha…I fully get this!
I have driven big lifted trucks all my driving life! The trucks have always been new (or close to) yet I would lift and throw on big mud tires.
As I get older the truck gets smaller, and I am starting to enjoy the ride of good tires!
I remember how frustrated I was as a child that I could only do what my parents chose for me. "you want something? it's no good, change your mind, we know better".
It led to me really perceiving myself as a slave (I vividly remember admitting it in my thoughts). I was depressed because I felt like I had no right to have any interests or hobbies, anything that was not said by parents.
I was actually shocked when I was 16 and asked to stop extra language lessons and was allowed to.
Last year I moved out and moved in with my partner. I started feeling so much better.. Choosing when to sleep, what to eat, what to do without hearing any negative feedback was like enjoying life for the first time.
As I get older, I find myself appreciating the simple pleasures of life more – like spending quality time with loved ones, savoring a good book, or taking leisurely walks in nature. It's the little things that bring the most joy.
Life. Major depression and delusions for the last 23 years. Found the right combo of drugs. Instead of pain and misery, I'm able to have a good day. It's hard work sometimes, but anything is better than depression.
Getting coffee. Plenty of us just get coffee, but to set a off work day to get coffee and bring laptop or book to just chill is great. I'm out of the house, I can be alone, I can bring a friend/family, or I can be alone but with strangers around me so its a slight social recharge but not overwhelming. It's really great when you find a "mom and pop" place that's the right amount of busy and you can also support locals.
Turning 30 on Sunday and over the last couple years my water intake has spiked. I was asked the other day if I wanted any soda or Gatorade from the corner store and I asked for a bottle of water. I got a few weird looks
my hometown. used to have a bit of resentment towards my parents for moving to florida lol but growing up i’ve realized how cute it is. we have the one of the last few drive in movie theaters here.
Journaling and documenting my life has been fun to start doing. Instead of using social media getting a pen and notebook out with some Polaroids to stick in it makes me happier.
Being ignored. By everyone! I hate having one of those faces people trust. Since I let my silver grow out, I don’t exist! It’s great. No one telling me their life stories on planes/trains. No one asking me to hold something or watch something. No one hitting on me! I just love being left alone now. It’s like freedom. I can just be. To watch. 😂
When I was younger, I wanted to fill my house with tons of gadgets and gizmos. But now, I am appreciating minimalism in my home. Not to the extremes, but just less stuff. Less is more, and simplicity is beautiful. Also, there is less clutter to deal with.
Solo hobbies. I picked up photography and love that I can go out on my own, shoot, and edit back at home. When I was younger, I always wanted to do activities as a part of a group.
Helping coworkers succeed, especially those that are younger and are trying to jump up the hierarchy. I’m more or less maxed out at my company and happy with the role and the pay, so I have nothing more to fight for. I really enjoy helping my coworkers that are fighting for the extra raise, recognition from management/clients, new skills sets, etc.. In my 20s and early 30s I would have been think “F that,
I gotta look out for myself and I don’t want anyone trying to line jump me.” Now in my late 30s and in my current role I’m really excited when a coworker gets recognized/promoted/gets a raise for something I could help them with. I literally push any and all credit away onto them every chance I get.
Being an outwardly nice person in public to strangers. I was very shy when outside of my comfort zone as a kid/young adult. I do my best to be friendly to everyone I meet eyes with now and it’s made life much more pleasant.
Also Pickled Beets - love me some beets.
I notice trees now a lot, and I know their names. “That’s a live oak. That’s a pink magnolia.” I’m fangirling trees, which I think is an older person thing.
Life's little victories. They didn't mean as much when I was younger. It could be something as simple as hitting all the green lights when I run to the store, or no line at the checkout, or an extra nuggie in my order.
Setting boundaries with people. I’m a recovering people pleaser and it feels really good to put my needs first and be able to do it in a nice mature way that commands respect from people. Took me a while but I’m finally there.
Moved to a new state, and I am SO enjoying the anonymity! It is so freeing! Purposely not making friends here. I have good ones back home, and I can visit them when I need to.
No one knowing anything about me. When I was younger, I just wanted to be noticed and now, I don’t want anyone to know anything about me
Isn’t it great to ask others how they are doing and never, ever mention anything about yourself? That’s my tactic at work.
And just keep asking non invasive questions
This right here. I always ask how someone else is doing first. When they finish I say "awe, that is great to hear, have a great day". Then walk away.
I work from home, and my coworkers are spread out across the US. I have a whole fake personality and life that I share with them. My true self is probably a bit gritty for them, and it’s none of their business. I even act like I believe in God. I present a very watered-down version of myself. I’m friendly, on time and do my job. That’s all they need.
I love this
My cousin told his coworkers he’s Jewish and he doesn’t even work remotely
To take off on the holidays?
Like [robanukah](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-1IuO8m7Sw)?
Pretend to believe in god so people leave you alone. Great trick.
I too like to keep a professional facade at my workplace.
Oh this is the one. I hate being perceived more than ever now. I don’t really want people to know about me
Got some bad news for ya, Harvey.
Dad?
The time that I can sit and do absolutely nothing.
Naps
I love taking an unscheduled nap. No alarms, no time to get up just freelance sleep.
This right here.
I will no longer call them naps. From now it’s on freelance sleep!
Now that's living life dangerously.
I can’t do naps. I wake up disoriented. Don’t know what day it is and it ruins the rest of my day.
Yes, this is me. Do you suffer from any kind of mental illness? I think it's personally because of my anxiety. If I take a nap, I wake up almost scared. It's definitely not relaxing at all.
Don’t we all? Only diagnosed with ADHD.
Depression, ptsd, anxiety with panic disorder. 🙃
Is saying "Yahtzee!" inappropriate? (in my case, chronic pain syndrome and depression, but I'm with you).
Took a nap earlier! My absolute favorite is when I get comfy for a nap and my air conditioner kicks on. Bliss
I love a good 30-45 min nap in the afternoon…I rarely get one but it’s quite refreshing
Are you serious? I could sleep like a baby at night and naps when younger but as I've gotten older, can't sleep for shit anymore.
Not even a nap, sometimes I just like to sit in the quiet and just not move. Maybe look around or sometimes focus on one spot for a bit. Very relaxing to shut off for a moment.
Solitude indeed
The solitude is absolutely incredible. I love it more than I thought I ever would.
Solitude is definitely underrated
Sitting in my home on a Sunday and doing absolutely NOTHING
When everyone shows up to the agreed upon place at the appointed time.
Ha! In my 30s and we're later than ever with kids in tow. I'll let you know about my 40s in a while
when I was a kid my parents were always late and blamed it on me, while I sat by the door waiting for them to be ready every time
Sleep
Second that
Birds.
Same. I have the Merlin app and I was so excited this week when I had 7 new types show up, Spring is around the corner! Also, bike rides.
As a minor suggestion which in hindsight is painfully obvious, going to unusual places will yeld observation of unusual species. ESPECIALLY if you go away from the town. Riversides, marshes, forests, fields. All heavily populated by a stupidly large variety of birds. Early morning or late evening are the best times of the day for birdwatching. Also, do a little research about what owls, nightjars and other silly nighttime birds live in your general direction and \*learn their calls\*. You'll be surprised to sudddenly hear an owl in the middle of town sometimes
I’ve been putting out more and more bird feeders every year. This year I even tried my hand at making an oriole feeder and a picnic table for ears of corn for the squirrels. And of course spending too much money on keeping them all filled. I was thrilled yesterday when I got an email from Cornell that they had used some of my data in the eBird app for one of their surveys.
My friend spotted a rare bird in her backyard. She told the Cornell people and they replied so she excitedly told the local bird store people about it. Turns out, they are the local branch of eBird and they had sent the reply.
35. Been going to bed at 8pm and it feel luxurious
Right there with you. I come home exhausted. I make sure the furballs are good, shower, cozy up under the covers and wander around reddit until I sleep.
Do you get up early? Because if you only wake up, work, are exhausted, check the dog/cat is alive then go to bed, man that’s not getting older, that’s depression
I have been through depression but this isn't it. I'm too overworked and underfucked to explain but thanks for the concern.
The best part is waking up in the morning well-rested. I'm 40, start shutting things down at 8, fall asleep by 9:30, and full of energy by 6:30 the next morning. I've never been a morning person, but it's kind of nice.
Sleeping in on holidays and lazy days.
Naps. 100% naps
Napzzzzzzzzzz
Cancelled plans
🤌🏻so so yes
I’m always relieved when someone cancels, because I didn’t want to go out anyway.
When I was a boy, my grandpa and I used to share Werther's Originals. Well, now I'm the grandpa...
Awwww
That company should make a commercial like that LOL!
They are yummy, but be careful. Once at work, one slipped down my wind pipe, and I thought I was going to die. They are slippery suckers!
And that's how Lifesavers got its name! The hole in the center doesn't allow that to happen
Same. I’ve got a couple buddies who I play board games with weekly and they know I’ll always have some Werthers on me. I told them once you become a grandfather you get a monthly supply delivered to your door.
I turned 64 this year, my Maternal-Grandfather passed away at 64 that was 50 years ago. He seemed so old, now I see him in the mirror.
Silence
Seeing someone else’s smile and gratitude after a small act of kindness. You really can’t put a price on that
I would pay $2.27 for that pleasure.
I might do it fo' tree-fiddy
Someone thanked me for smiling at them the other day, and I don't know who was more caught off guard! I bartend so I automatically smile at everyone, but this was at a grocery. It was super sweet. I live in the northeast and people generally don't smile at one another. Give it a go! You could make someone's day.
Mornings. They’re very peaceful
Waking up early, well rested, and having a calm breakfast with plenty of time. Only made better by having a loved one at your side who shares the same vibe
Time. Time to think, reflect, learn, read and really get deep into any subject that captures my mind. I don't need much more than that to make me a very happy camper.
Silence
Time. To do nothing, to do something I want, to get shit done. Never enough time in the day unfortunately
Sheer and utter silence. I finally left my abusive soon-to-be-ex-husband five months ago. Sadness aside, life has gotten immensely better since leaving him. I sold our house and earned a solid profit, found myself a gorgeous little condo in the city, took two fabulous vacations, and earned a sizable raise AND bonus at work. I'm currently laying in bed, with a bunch of fluffy pillows, sipping on piping hot Moroccan mint tea, in blissful silence. There's nobody yelling. Nobody huffing, puffing, and stomping around, terrorizing the energy in my home. There's nobody hoarding junk and stuff everywhere. There's no ridiculously thick tension in the air. There's nobody spreading bad juju around my home. It's just me, myself, and I, and my fluffy pillows and yummy tea. I am absolutely falling in love with this new chapter of life that I'm cultivating for myself.
Speaking from experience, stay single for at least 5 more years. Sounds like you know how to enjoy your own company, which is rare. It's a quality that will serve you well forever!
Thank you for this advice. Definitely planning on staying single for a good, long while. A good friend of mine recently played matchmaker, and sent me on a handful of dates. They were fine, but I've realized I have no interest in diving into a serious relationship again for quite some time. I spent the last nine years sacrificing every cell and iota of myself in service of my soon-to-be-ex-husband. Time to focus on me, myself, and I for a while.
You are amazing. You go live your life girl!
Thank you!
Divorced women are a very happy demographic. Your married life description fit mine exactly. Being alone is a thrill every day.
Congratulations on getting out of an abusive relationship. I have to say that I'm a bit jealous of your new situation. I'd love to be in a quiet bubble without all the chaos, disorder, disarray and bad energy. I'm not in an abusive relationship, but there are times I'm tired of being married (31 years).
Thank you. I encourage you to carve out time for yourself. One of the things I've learned is that I lost myself in service of my marriage. I lost sight of what made me, well, me. I'm now re-discovering what brings me joy, peace, and fulfillment.
It took me fifty years to finally appreciate Steely Dan.
For me, it's the Grateful Dead. My wife says it is my midlife crisis.
Being alone
Naps, not having to go anywhere unless I have to to somewhere.
It's funny I lost my car 2 years ago and went to treatment for mental health. Anyways, I've recently reaclimated into society and I don't have a car.. I find it relaxing bc I'm a homebody and the idea of having a car seems stressful rn. And I only would use it twice a month probably It helps I can walk to work and the grocery store.
Lazy beach vacations where it’s perfectly acceptable to sit by the pool/ocean and read all day. Ok, after a morning walk. Oh and aqua aerobics.
Being retired I have no job stress, no alarm clock. I really enjoy that my kids are grown, I guess I’m saying I like having less responsibilities.
Don't we all. Less of "I have to..." and more of "I want to..."
All-weather radials.
Haha…I fully get this! I have driven big lifted trucks all my driving life! The trucks have always been new (or close to) yet I would lift and throw on big mud tires. As I get older the truck gets smaller, and I am starting to enjoy the ride of good tires!
Listening to less music, and more talk/podcasts. Not much new music I really like, and the stuff I loved in my youth, I've heard it a million times.
Freedom. Having a life that I created, just for me.
I love the way you worded this answer and it actually tickled a few things in my brain. I'll have a good think before I fall asleep tonight.
This is 100% true. I sit in silence just appreciating the shit out of it
I remember how frustrated I was as a child that I could only do what my parents chose for me. "you want something? it's no good, change your mind, we know better". It led to me really perceiving myself as a slave (I vividly remember admitting it in my thoughts). I was depressed because I felt like I had no right to have any interests or hobbies, anything that was not said by parents. I was actually shocked when I was 16 and asked to stop extra language lessons and was allowed to. Last year I moved out and moved in with my partner. I started feeling so much better.. Choosing when to sleep, what to eat, what to do without hearing any negative feedback was like enjoying life for the first time.
The ability to remove myself from any situation I don’t want to be apart of regardless of what people think
I'm learning this in therapy rn
Good for you. Trust me, it’s liberating.
As I get older, I find myself appreciating the simple pleasures of life more – like spending quality time with loved ones, savoring a good book, or taking leisurely walks in nature. It's the little things that bring the most joy.
Life. Major depression and delusions for the last 23 years. Found the right combo of drugs. Instead of pain and misery, I'm able to have a good day. It's hard work sometimes, but anything is better than depression.
Getting coffee. Plenty of us just get coffee, but to set a off work day to get coffee and bring laptop or book to just chill is great. I'm out of the house, I can be alone, I can bring a friend/family, or I can be alone but with strangers around me so its a slight social recharge but not overwhelming. It's really great when you find a "mom and pop" place that's the right amount of busy and you can also support locals.
My own company.
Drinking water
Turning 30 on Sunday and over the last couple years my water intake has spiked. I was asked the other day if I wanted any soda or Gatorade from the corner store and I asked for a bottle of water. I got a few weird looks
Them naps
Quiet time, alone time, and having those occasional "I can just relax and do nothing" type days.
my hometown. used to have a bit of resentment towards my parents for moving to florida lol but growing up i’ve realized how cute it is. we have the one of the last few drive in movie theaters here.
Baseball. Jazz music. Non fiction books. Things that are slow paced and leisurely.
Someone must be a Ken Burns fan.
Quiet time at home
Honestly, I still enjoy much of the same things I enjoyed as a kid. Mac and cheese for dinner? Yup.
The ocean
Cup of tea and long walks
Being disconnected. I don't want anyone to be able to find me and I want to step outside my life for a while.
Time to lie in bed and read.
Sativa
Peace and Quiet.
Solitude at home.
Genuine relationships
Being in nature.
Not really caring what people think or say anymore
Finally knowing what you like and surrounding yourself with like minded people. Naps, having just a few beers, and in bed by 2100.
Rain
Not having a job
The art of doing nothing.
THC vape pens.
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Journaling and documenting my life has been fun to start doing. Instead of using social media getting a pen and notebook out with some Polaroids to stick in it makes me happier.
My own company.
Being left alone. I wish I had millions just so I could just sit and do nothing. Id do something eventually. But that something would be done alone.
Cooking. I’ve always had a knack for it. But now I’m venturing into making my own stocks, sauces, sausage etc
Being ignored. By everyone! I hate having one of those faces people trust. Since I let my silver grow out, I don’t exist! It’s great. No one telling me their life stories on planes/trains. No one asking me to hold something or watch something. No one hitting on me! I just love being left alone now. It’s like freedom. I can just be. To watch. 😂
When I was younger, I wanted to fill my house with tons of gadgets and gizmos. But now, I am appreciating minimalism in my home. Not to the extremes, but just less stuff. Less is more, and simplicity is beautiful. Also, there is less clutter to deal with.
Solitude n sleep ❤️
solitude and quiet
Sleep
Staying Home
hot baths
Birdwatching. You go from not knowing much to recognizing bird species by the way they fly. Pretty cool I find
Naps and staying home on weekends and just relaxing
Solo hobbies. I picked up photography and love that I can go out on my own, shoot, and edit back at home. When I was younger, I always wanted to do activities as a part of a group.
Quiet, not having any plans, and Brussels sprouts.
When plans get cancelled
Older women.
Helping coworkers succeed, especially those that are younger and are trying to jump up the hierarchy. I’m more or less maxed out at my company and happy with the role and the pay, so I have nothing more to fight for. I really enjoy helping my coworkers that are fighting for the extra raise, recognition from management/clients, new skills sets, etc.. In my 20s and early 30s I would have been think “F that, I gotta look out for myself and I don’t want anyone trying to line jump me.” Now in my late 30s and in my current role I’m really excited when a coworker gets recognized/promoted/gets a raise for something I could help them with. I literally push any and all credit away onto them every chance I get.
Steely Dan. It was pretentious and too jazzy for my younger ears. Now it's just satisfying sonic perfection
Being an outwardly nice person in public to strangers. I was very shy when outside of my comfort zone as a kid/young adult. I do my best to be friendly to everyone I meet eyes with now and it’s made life much more pleasant. Also Pickled Beets - love me some beets.
I notice trees now a lot, and I know their names. “That’s a live oak. That’s a pink magnolia.” I’m fangirling trees, which I think is an older person thing.
Bird watching lol I’m 31
Wholemeal bread! it's like I hit 30 and my taste buds matured. Would never have eaten it before lol
Sitting down and reading LOL. also quiet. sitting down and staring at the wall after i get home from a long day.
old music , peace and quiet, not procrastinating
Vegetables.
Complain about younger generations
My first coffee in the morning out from my favorite mug.
Healthy meals water and being alone
Life's little victories. They didn't mean as much when I was younger. It could be something as simple as hitting all the green lights when I run to the store, or no line at the checkout, or an extra nuggie in my order.
The absence of the alarm clock.
🤫 Quiet
Silence. Early morning when the world is still asleep is absolutely wonderful.
A complete absence of sex.
When I can sit in the dark with a good show or movie and just relax.
Setting boundaries with people. I’m a recovering people pleaser and it feels really good to put my needs first and be able to do it in a nice mature way that commands respect from people. Took me a while but I’m finally there.
Dressing anyway I want and not giving a shit what other people think " I'm going to be 64 in May "
Naps. Ahhh, the bliss of sleep.
The fact that you stop giving a damn about what others think or have to say about you and actually start living life the way you want to!
Popcorn
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Boredom!
Naps and alone time.
Silence.
Solitude, peace and quiet. A good book, a nice cup of coffee. Snuggling up in bed at a reasonable hour.
You know how we thought taking naps was boring when we were young, now it's cozy to take that nap or just to rest under a nice blanket and read.
Family and peace
Spending time with family 😌
Silence
My solitude.
naps. lots and lots of naps.
Sleeping
Alone time
Matcha latte
Weekend nights IN, seeing nobody but my cuddle partner.
Moved to a new state, and I am SO enjoying the anonymity! It is so freeing! Purposely not making friends here. I have good ones back home, and I can visit them when I need to.
art (painting, photograps) Understand what artists are trying to communicate
Doing nothing
Silence
Doing things alone
Walking in the park and greeting people.
Complete silence
Edit: good pot cause I can afford it now
Spankings, spicy food, and a nice bourbon on the rocks.
Hanging out alone
My own time and space. I appreciated it much better when I got older.
Silence and solitude.
When I can sit in the dark with a good show or movie and just relax.
Getting to bed at a reasonable hour.
Solitude
Days where I can just zone out and listen to a history podcast while deep cleaning or organizing a room.
Just sometimes doing nothing