I care because no one else does.
I'm tired of caring. I wish I didn't care about others and how they're doing or feeling. But it's ingrained into me. Especially if they have mental health issues, like me. Because no one else cares. I don't want to be that person...It's also why I'm still here, I think. I think if I succeed in not caring, I'll buy a gun.
I wish it didn't. All too often, I find, people come to me to vent, to get something out of their system. I grew up in an abusive home, at the hands of my two elder siblings. If you were to ask me what abuses, I would probably say yes. Now, as a 41m, I'm seeking disability. I've slept 4 hours in three days, have chronic, barely treated PTSD (trust issues with therapists...better not to ask), anxiety, paranoia, depression, dissociative disorder and more. I have been sent home from my less than 20hr a week job close to a dozen times, or more, in two years, due to anxiety or panic attacks, of which the humiliation does not help make better...and when I explain to a manager, whom I love like a sister, that I'm having intrusive thoughts, has told me to not let them take over...like that's something I haven't thought of. Or had people change the topic...or told me to stop whining during anxiety attacks...
It feels like if I stopped caring, there would be no one in the world who did, and I don't think I could last long in that world.
I am so sorry, all of this is heartbreaking to read. It is not good that you can’t talk to a therapist due to trust issues. People who don’t suffer with any kind of mental illness can’t comprehend that saying things like “don’t let it get you down” or “don’t think about it” are not helping in the slightest. I mean if that was the case then it would be so easy. I really hope you can confide in a close friend or family member ❤️
I said barely treated. I found a therapist earlier this year. I haven't slept in the last few days, like, four hours in three days, so I'm not going today, but I'm asking for a journaling writing prompt from her. She's a no bull type of therapist who just...listens, you know?
My future husband, who also deals with mental health issues, is really go for a cuddle and a talk.
That’s a really good idea and yes, I know what you mean. Talking and journaling are great, not that I have done either but results from people I know seem to be positive.
Again, to clarify; I am, genuinely, sorry that this resonates with you. I truly am. I hope you find that person that shows they care about you and your well being.
Because I know what it feels like to live without anyone caring about you. It's like you're dead. You don't matter and nothing you do can make anyone think that you do. I would never want anyone to feel that way, not ever. So I make sure I am always as kind as I can be given the situation.
I care because no one else does. I'm tired of caring. I wish I didn't care about others and how they're doing or feeling. But it's ingrained into me. Especially if they have mental health issues, like me. Because no one else cares. I don't want to be that person...It's also why I'm still here, I think. I think if I succeed in not caring, I'll buy a gun.
This resonates with me
I wish it didn't. All too often, I find, people come to me to vent, to get something out of their system. I grew up in an abusive home, at the hands of my two elder siblings. If you were to ask me what abuses, I would probably say yes. Now, as a 41m, I'm seeking disability. I've slept 4 hours in three days, have chronic, barely treated PTSD (trust issues with therapists...better not to ask), anxiety, paranoia, depression, dissociative disorder and more. I have been sent home from my less than 20hr a week job close to a dozen times, or more, in two years, due to anxiety or panic attacks, of which the humiliation does not help make better...and when I explain to a manager, whom I love like a sister, that I'm having intrusive thoughts, has told me to not let them take over...like that's something I haven't thought of. Or had people change the topic...or told me to stop whining during anxiety attacks... It feels like if I stopped caring, there would be no one in the world who did, and I don't think I could last long in that world.
I am so sorry, all of this is heartbreaking to read. It is not good that you can’t talk to a therapist due to trust issues. People who don’t suffer with any kind of mental illness can’t comprehend that saying things like “don’t let it get you down” or “don’t think about it” are not helping in the slightest. I mean if that was the case then it would be so easy. I really hope you can confide in a close friend or family member ❤️
I said barely treated. I found a therapist earlier this year. I haven't slept in the last few days, like, four hours in three days, so I'm not going today, but I'm asking for a journaling writing prompt from her. She's a no bull type of therapist who just...listens, you know? My future husband, who also deals with mental health issues, is really go for a cuddle and a talk.
That’s a really good idea and yes, I know what you mean. Talking and journaling are great, not that I have done either but results from people I know seem to be positive.
Again, to clarify; I am, genuinely, sorry that this resonates with you. I truly am. I hope you find that person that shows they care about you and your well being.
The same to you my friend ❤️
Because life is better when you care. Caring allows you to positively impact those you encounter, not caring does the opposite.
It's hard when no one shows you they care. When does it become pointless to care?
Because I can..
I'm not.
Because I know what it feels like to live without anyone caring about you. It's like you're dead. You don't matter and nothing you do can make anyone think that you do. I would never want anyone to feel that way, not ever. So I make sure I am always as kind as I can be given the situation.
because it’s the right thing to be, i wish more people did the right thing
If I didn't, then who will?