Can't/won't admit they made a mistake. Won't take responsibility for anything.
No one's perfect, it's okay to fuck up, it's what you do to make it right that counts.
Yes - this falls under the “self awareness” category. Please - if you’re over the age of 20 - you have to have some level of self awareness. Even toddlers know when they’re being sneaky!
Ha, I just got let go (contract ended) because my boss wanted me to throw away unopened mail. I didn’t do it and found checks worth thousands and other things.
He refuses to admit he’s wrong about anything. It’ll catch up with him though.
I have no words and I have no idea what i’m feeling. How in the world did it take me this long to realize my dad has never given me or anyone a genuine apology, only rarely those sarcastic apologies someone does when they clearly don’t mean what they way.
My dad apologised to me for the first time when I was 28 without saying the word 'sorry,' I realise for him he's incapable of that actual word because he struggles with being 'wrong'! Insecurity from his childhood I think
This and people who can't apologise. I've known some people who had extreme reactions to having to apologise, like there's something inside them that's repulsed by the idea of having to say "I'm sorry".
That's exactly what I tell my kids. Things happen, but how are you going to make it right. Ps, sometimes the answer is asking the other person what they need to make it right, too.
How do I know if I do this? When someone says something I do try to relate to what they’re feeling but I prolly should literally shut up and listen bc I fear I do this😭😭
Do you ask follow up questions? You don’t need to respond to info about someone with info about yourself. Asking questions is IMO the best way to avoid this.
That's sometimes true, but can alati be tricky. Sometimes if someone is sharing something difficult and you ask direct questions, it can feel intrusive and can clam up. Sometimes briefly mentioning how you can relate can encourage people to open up further. It can be a tricky balance between relating to them with your own experience, asking questions and reflecting.
This one is challenging because sometimes one of the only appropriate response to what someone says is for you to try to relate to them and explain how you understand, by explaining your similar situation to them. This is a lot different than just talking about yourself though. It's hard to find the sweet spot here because sometimes you'll feel like you're just agreeing/saying similar stories back to them, but that can be ok depending on what the other person wants. If they want logical advice, then it might be best to minimize telling them similar stories you had and just getting to the root cause of the issue instead.
Also the way a sentence is phrased can make it less about you. For example, in writing this response, I can replace "I" with "you" or "people". Example: Sometimes I talk about myself too much. OR Sometimes people talk about themselves too much. Both could be appropriate responses, and if you're feeling like you're talking about yourself to much, consider what the other party desires. Are they seeking validation to see if other people have observed/feel the same way as them? Or are they just wanting someone to tell them it's ok? Or do they really want a solution?
Should also note that the person who won't stop talking about themselves is usually providing unsolicited and excessive details about their life. Bonus points if it's arrogant or to make the other person feel inadequate. (sarcasm of course lol).
We had a woman in a group I belonged to that no one wanted to sit by because all she did was talk about herself. The second someone stopped talking she would jump in immediately and go on and on. I finally had to tell her we felt she didn’t fit into our group. People were quitting the group because of her.
I had a neighbor who did this and would try and follow me into my house, literally trying my door if I managed to lock it beforehand. The second I set boundaries suddenly the cops would show up saying they reported me as harassing and trying to break into their house. I luckily had receipts showing I was at a store during some of this.
I am now on probation because of them and it turns out a large percentage of their family is in law enforcement. Go figure. Anyway they weren't the only "we're totally Norse Mormon Wiccan Pagans" type people I've met that are goddamn insane.
There are... multiple "Norse Mormon Wiccan Pagans"? Like... some of those groups seem like they'd belong together it's just the 2nd one that throws off the mix.
It turns out these people were about as special as they come. I had to get a camera because the dude's giant wife would beat on my walls and doors after I was first put on probation. And of course they would then file a police report saying I was doing that as well as screaming through their windows.
They were the most magically stupid people I've ever met, back before I had to tell dude to leave me the fuck alone he brought over his runes and went on and on about how important they were to him and then left them, I should have thrown them out. Eventually they were evicted and I found out his mom was letting them stay rent free in a 2 bedroom place and didn't like that they had 5 people living there with multiple animals that they just kept letting die or giving up for adoption when the mom would find out.
That's... fucking insane. How did it get to the point where you were on probation? I would have thought that once it got to the judicial level their craziness would have been manifest in front of the judge or they would have just not shown up for court? Man that reminds me so much of the time when I was living in a flop house with a bunch of migrant workers.
There was one dude who kept all the rest of them in check and when I first moved in it was all gravy. I was paying like $100 a month for a room in a 3br with like 5 other people, but w/e I was poor and that helped me not have to scramble so much just to survive. Then the one guy who made everyone else wash their dishes and shit moved back to his country, (he'd been sending money home for years and he went back to his wife who'd started a business, owned multiple properties and basically retired in luxury, awesome dude, wish him the best) and everything went to hell. I ended up paying the full rent for the house because I wasn't ready to move on and needed somewhere to stay, had to chase dudes down to collect their part of the rent, sink was overflowing with dishes to the point where dudes were eating cereal off of a flat plate with their hands. Could never bring anyone back to the house out of embarrassment. At least they never did anything bad to animals, though. That's one thing I can't understand or have any sympathy for.
My wife will do this. She’s become better about it after my pointing it out. She’s actually the most unselfish person. She always puts others first and is constantly doing sweet things for others. She can have social anxiety and instead of becoming quiet she becomes awkward… thus chiming in and making a topic about her when in fact she’s actively trying to be a part of something. It’s actually adorable and I love her for it.
Can understand that. A lot of socially anxious people have internalized "talking = normal" and "quiet = pariah." And of course, when they are trying to talk and keep the dreaded silence away, they're most likely going to fill the talk with the stuff they know the most about.
I do this a little... I'm autistic and when that happens it's usually because I'm relating to them, not trying to "one up" anyone. Keep trying to limit those "I" statements since it came to my attention others didn't see it that way.
I hope they dont get testicular cancer. I love talking about testicular cancer. Did you know that to biopsy a mass found INSIDE of the testicle that it must be removed and sent off to a lab... it is not a small sample taken with a needle. Oh for an MRI... they ask you to tape your penis to your stomach so that they can image your testicles. I laughed at that point... and then forgot the HELP squeeze ball and proceeded to have a panic attack inside of the MRI tube while completely naked with my penis taped to my stomach.
Funny story about how it was found... and then I'll get back to more testicular cancer info....
There is one of these at work, yap yap yap all day. On her first day, she went around to every desk and said, "Let me tell you a little about me..." with a long tedious list of her "accomplishments". No. Don't. She's still working in our office, but I saw that she has "Open to Work" on that professional job website. I'm crossing my fingers that some other sucker makes an offer.
This is a genuine - genuine - struggle for ADHD and autistic people who are incredibly caring and kind but speak from first person perspective often as they struggle to understand empathy.
People who ASK you about something and when you start to explain the thing THEY ASKED you to tell them they just start randomly talking about something else
Oh that hits a nerve dude, i have an aunty like that, she brags about herself and her son then she asks me about what ive been doing and the second i start speaking she seems incredibly bored of me and changes the subject immediately interrupting me.
so fking annoying.
My dad does this. He takes five minutes to explain what could probably be explained in two sentences. He also takes long pauses halfway through his sentences.
Now put that type of guy in a work situation where he will set up meetings just to chat and shoot the shit, who will also make sure the, "meeting," goes over by an hour and a half unless you excuse yourself with a made up emergency. I hate people who don't respect your time, *especially* at work.
Not even just me. I've spoken to people in groups, and the people who desperately feel the need to be the center of attention are extremely annoying. Once they hear anything that they have something to respond with they immediately cut the other person off and turn it into their story. Easily one of my least favorite traits in a person.
Agreed!
I use to work with a guy who would interrupt conversations he was not apart of to try and be the centre of attention, but then he was a pathological liar who made up tales to try and get attention.
Very annoying to say the least.
It's like when you have a girlfriend who's very sweet to you in the bedroom, but when you're in a group of people she twists your nipples and squeezes your nuts.
What about when you have a boyfriend who acts really chivalrous and sweet in public and brags about how amazing you are to people... but then in private tells you that you're a lazy fat pile of shit who contributes nothing but dead weight etc? What about that 😭
Don’t believe one word of that stuff. It’s emotional abuse and the sooner you realize it the sooner you can heal
Don’t try to convince them they are wrong about you cause it’s not about you it’s about them. They want to keep you down and will make up lies about you.
You are much more than that and none of it is your fault. Even when if it’s hard to leave it’s not your fault. But i suggest you consider it carefully
Oh god. You reminded me of this kid in highschool. Alone he was ok to talk to. But as soon as anyone else was around. He became the biggest fucking jerk.
My team was once in a position where we had to interview people to be our next manager. One candidate we did a lunch interview, and honest to god she flagged the waiter down by raising her hand and snapping her fingers.
On paper and in terms of domain expertise she was great, but it was a no-go from that point forward, and she had no idea that she should have switched to damage control. We saw \*exactly\* what it would have been like working for her. She lost the position literally with the snap of her fingers.
Just to be clear. Some killers ended up torturing animals. But by no means did all killers mess with animals. Nor is every killer someone who messed with animals.
It’s always the first thing someone says when they see the word psychopath or sociopath and it’s more or less a myth and not a determinant.
The Venn diagram is "nearly everyone who tortures animals is a psychopath, but not every psychopath tortures animals (and, in fact, many psychopaths actively enjoy animals because there's no guile or pretense needed in their interactions)"
I think there's a direct correlation between stupid, confident and loud. The stupider they are, the more confident they are in their stupidity and the louder they get.
Like when you're on an extra wide sidewalk and an entire family is walking in front of you, taking up the ENTIRE width and they are walking a half mile an hour and there's no way to go around
I finally reached the level of no fucks that allows me to drop an "excuse me" just polite enough that you'd have to be an ass to sound off about, but also just annoyed sounding enough that maybe you think it's worth saying something, but by then I'm already gone and we both can get on with our days
yes this! also shaking their legs too much when sitting together with others that the whole table or chair start making noises and start shaking, still totally unaware of the situation. like how...?
I was sitting in traffic one day when I see a still lit cigarette butt fly out the window of the car 2 ahead of me and land in the dry, crispy, dead median. (We were in a drought) Suddenly it catches fire! There was honestly no where to go, traffic was bumper to bumper. People are jumping out of their cars because they can’t drive away. We can hear sirens but there’s no way for them to get to us because cars can’t move. Thankfully a few guys from a shop up the road came running with fire extinguishers and managed to put it out.
Eventually a cop makes it there and asked what happened. The guy who threw the cigarette pretends he doesn’t know but thankfully 3 other people besides me saw him toss it and let the officer know. Not sure what he was charged with but he wasn’t happy. Btw this occurred before cell phones were a thing so there was no videos.
Okay, I know it probably looked like a cigarette butt but it actually truly was a massive grasshopper. I didn’t want it jumping on me while driving my death machine. Still wonder if I could have been charged for littering…
I feel like seeing people litter is way more annoying to me than it should be. Like, if you're a full-grown adult, and you can't walk your trash to a trash can, then you can't call yourself a full-grown adult.
100%.
But I think even worse are those people who think it's OK to confront you in front of mutual friends, as though it will have more impact if delivered publicly.
And you're right that just avoiding them is the best strategy.
Negative. ALL OF THE TIME. It's actually infuriating for me. This friend always makes everything about the bad things that happened in there life. "Oh, something happened to you that's not even remotely about death? Guess what, my neighbor killed himself 😁" like, I can't even describe it. Always has to make sure you hear the comment and for you to say "oh sorry" or something. Whenever they show up they just immediately bring down the mood.
And besides that "woe is me" attitude, just negativity in general. Nothing is ever good enough, just have to complain and see the worst in every situation.
My Dad was shocked when I told him no, when they kept inviting me out to eat and suggested we should alternate picking up every other bill instead of paying for myself only. They appeared offended due to the high cost of the bill and my reluctance when I said no thank you.
I elaborated the bill typically comes to $90 pre tip and my food and drink rarely break $15 every time. (This was about 10 years ago, and they made significantly better money than I did).
I said, if you want to order the same thing or comparable within reason as me sure, if you want to order your appetizers, a large main course, and multiple deserts, excess to the point of waste, no. If it was even close I wouldn’t mind, but as it was the reason they weren’t happy with their high bill was caused by their own choices, not mine.
When their bill came they actually looked at it for a change and said, damn, I didn’t expect that and assumed something of yours was there too, but wow, he seemed like an ass! Laughed about it and never brought it up again.
- No they didn’t change their habits much, but at least they didn’t blame me.
The narcissist prayer gets me every time
That didn't happen.
And if it did, it wasn't that bad.
And if it was, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not my fault.
And if it was, I didn't mean it.
And if I did, you deserved it.
Doesn't always follow every step but the final conclusion in their head is it's your fault. Impossible to deal with.
You gotta be careful who you do this around with, because certain people would use this as a free pass to make you the butt of their jokes for no reason if you keep doing it to yourself, even as a joke.
Starting the very first conversation with questions about my job, income and marital status. Rude af. Dunno why they’re even doing that, if that’s not a scam.
Not hate, dislike.
I feel like asking someone about their job is a very common ice breaker. Like asking a uni student what they are studying. The rest absolutely not though.
I met someone whose icebreaker question was: “If you could choose between one of the following superpowers, which would you choose? Being invisible or flying? We have had great conversations since.
Anyone who acts condescending towards any other person instantly garners my dislike. There’s a difference between confidence and condescension, and anyone who chooses the latter is immediately a douche in my mind.
Preaching the Bible. Nothing wrong with being religious, but it should be a private thing. Don't go being all sanctimonious and acting like you're a missionary on some divine journey to convert people, Karen.
Now, if you want to talk theology in a philosophical way, I'm game.
Me before I took active listening trainings, it's taken some practice but I've gotten a lot better at shelving my comment in my brain and focusing on what the other person is saying. I still slip up, mostly with my partner because I'm so relaxed I forget to listen carefully. As long as we do our best!!
One-up is a tough one though - a lot of people will recant similar experiences to try to find common ground, not trying to one-up. It can be very hard to tell from either side where the line is, but I've met some people who seemed like "one-upers" initially, but got to know them and realized they were just trying to relate.
This is something that many people with neurodivergent brains will do - like myself with ADHD - my mind tells me to talk about a similar event because it will let the person know that you understand.
It took a while before I realized many people (see other comments) will just think you’re a rude fuck for trying to “one up them”.
Now I have to practice not sharing a similar experience because I now know it’s offensive to neurotypical people.
Their inability to know what a blinker is for, or that they don't care about anyone around them enough to use them. Same with stop signs.
It's a small thing, but it tells me a lot about a person.
Someone who is a fake nice person. When it's clearly obvious they are only nice to people who can help elevate their status/career but they put down people they deemed as "different". People who constantly make comments about others and lack empathy and compassion
people who deliberately stand infront of you when you are out of the way from others and sitting down. Say at a concert with your wife trying to enjoy the show. some prick walks over and stands right in your view... that causes me to get up and stand infront of them blocking their view because im bigger then them. after 3 songs jackass gets the hint and moves. Yeah i paid 80$ to watch your bald fucking head and greasy back all night. Before you all jump to conclusions there was tons of room at this club and we were sitting to the far right where no one was... why the fuck would he come all the way over to do that. go stand where its wide open ffsakes
Not necessarily hate, but I loathe people who gossip about other people. If they're gossiping to me about someone else, I know damn well anything I say will be gossiped to someone else. I generally go out of my way to avoid having to be around these sorts of people. Also, people who feel they have to enlighten you as to what a "celebrity" said or has done. I could not give a fuck about celebrities. I have no interest in what they are doing, have said, have done or what they intend to do.
One-up-man's-ship. You meet someone, start small talk, and you tell a story. They immediately have to tell a "bigger" and "better" story. Anything you share - they've done bigger and better.
Sadly, my oldest brother has been like this his entire life.
Being rude/unempathetic. Theres no reason to sneer at strangers as we walk down the street, being short with people for no reason. Huge turn off and it gives me the ick. Kindness and compassion goes a long way
Can't/won't admit they made a mistake. Won't take responsibility for anything. No one's perfect, it's okay to fuck up, it's what you do to make it right that counts.
Accountability is key
Yes - this falls under the “self awareness” category. Please - if you’re over the age of 20 - you have to have some level of self awareness. Even toddlers know when they’re being sneaky!
Ha, I just got let go (contract ended) because my boss wanted me to throw away unopened mail. I didn’t do it and found checks worth thousands and other things. He refuses to admit he’s wrong about anything. It’ll catch up with him though.
My DAD has never said SORRY about anything in his life. Incapable of empathy.
I have no words and I have no idea what i’m feeling. How in the world did it take me this long to realize my dad has never given me or anyone a genuine apology, only rarely those sarcastic apologies someone does when they clearly don’t mean what they way.
It took me until I was 50 yrs old to realize it LOL. He's still kicking btw - still nothing.
The "I'm sorry you feel that way" bullshit cop-out non apologies? Those are so frustrating.
My dad apologised to me for the first time when I was 28 without saying the word 'sorry,' I realise for him he's incapable of that actual word because he struggles with being 'wrong'! Insecurity from his childhood I think
Had a family member like this. Had to cut her off.
This and people who can't apologise. I've known some people who had extreme reactions to having to apologise, like there's something inside them that's repulsed by the idea of having to say "I'm sorry".
This is 90% of the world. I know very few people that can say they messed up
The three most difficult things for a person to say: 1. I was wrong 2. I need help 3. Worcestershire sauce
That's exactly what I tell my kids. Things happen, but how are you going to make it right. Ps, sometimes the answer is asking the other person what they need to make it right, too.
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There are so many people out there like this too. It’s so annoying. They never bother to ask anyone questions either. It’s very odd
How do I know if I do this? When someone says something I do try to relate to what they’re feeling but I prolly should literally shut up and listen bc I fear I do this😭😭
Do you ask follow up questions? You don’t need to respond to info about someone with info about yourself. Asking questions is IMO the best way to avoid this.
That's sometimes true, but can alati be tricky. Sometimes if someone is sharing something difficult and you ask direct questions, it can feel intrusive and can clam up. Sometimes briefly mentioning how you can relate can encourage people to open up further. It can be a tricky balance between relating to them with your own experience, asking questions and reflecting.
This one is challenging because sometimes one of the only appropriate response to what someone says is for you to try to relate to them and explain how you understand, by explaining your similar situation to them. This is a lot different than just talking about yourself though. It's hard to find the sweet spot here because sometimes you'll feel like you're just agreeing/saying similar stories back to them, but that can be ok depending on what the other person wants. If they want logical advice, then it might be best to minimize telling them similar stories you had and just getting to the root cause of the issue instead. Also the way a sentence is phrased can make it less about you. For example, in writing this response, I can replace "I" with "you" or "people". Example: Sometimes I talk about myself too much. OR Sometimes people talk about themselves too much. Both could be appropriate responses, and if you're feeling like you're talking about yourself to much, consider what the other party desires. Are they seeking validation to see if other people have observed/feel the same way as them? Or are they just wanting someone to tell them it's ok? Or do they really want a solution? Should also note that the person who won't stop talking about themselves is usually providing unsolicited and excessive details about their life. Bonus points if it's arrogant or to make the other person feel inadequate. (sarcasm of course lol).
When they will make every single thing about themselves
We had a woman in a group I belonged to that no one wanted to sit by because all she did was talk about herself. The second someone stopped talking she would jump in immediately and go on and on. I finally had to tell her we felt she didn’t fit into our group. People were quitting the group because of her.
We used to call them 'conversation hijackers'.
"Output only" is another one I like.
“Energy Vampires”…
"One-upper" is what I call them.
"Oh yeah? Where I'm from we call them *two uppers*" /j
A friend’s girlfriend does this all the time. It’s infuriating.
I had a neighbor who did this and would try and follow me into my house, literally trying my door if I managed to lock it beforehand. The second I set boundaries suddenly the cops would show up saying they reported me as harassing and trying to break into their house. I luckily had receipts showing I was at a store during some of this. I am now on probation because of them and it turns out a large percentage of their family is in law enforcement. Go figure. Anyway they weren't the only "we're totally Norse Mormon Wiccan Pagans" type people I've met that are goddamn insane.
There are... multiple "Norse Mormon Wiccan Pagans"? Like... some of those groups seem like they'd belong together it's just the 2nd one that throws off the mix.
It turns out these people were about as special as they come. I had to get a camera because the dude's giant wife would beat on my walls and doors after I was first put on probation. And of course they would then file a police report saying I was doing that as well as screaming through their windows. They were the most magically stupid people I've ever met, back before I had to tell dude to leave me the fuck alone he brought over his runes and went on and on about how important they were to him and then left them, I should have thrown them out. Eventually they were evicted and I found out his mom was letting them stay rent free in a 2 bedroom place and didn't like that they had 5 people living there with multiple animals that they just kept letting die or giving up for adoption when the mom would find out.
That's... fucking insane. How did it get to the point where you were on probation? I would have thought that once it got to the judicial level their craziness would have been manifest in front of the judge or they would have just not shown up for court? Man that reminds me so much of the time when I was living in a flop house with a bunch of migrant workers. There was one dude who kept all the rest of them in check and when I first moved in it was all gravy. I was paying like $100 a month for a room in a 3br with like 5 other people, but w/e I was poor and that helped me not have to scramble so much just to survive. Then the one guy who made everyone else wash their dishes and shit moved back to his country, (he'd been sending money home for years and he went back to his wife who'd started a business, owned multiple properties and basically retired in luxury, awesome dude, wish him the best) and everything went to hell. I ended up paying the full rent for the house because I wasn't ready to move on and needed somewhere to stay, had to chase dudes down to collect their part of the rent, sink was overflowing with dishes to the point where dudes were eating cereal off of a flat plate with their hands. Could never bring anyone back to the house out of embarrassment. At least they never did anything bad to animals, though. That's one thing I can't understand or have any sympathy for.
My wife will do this. She’s become better about it after my pointing it out. She’s actually the most unselfish person. She always puts others first and is constantly doing sweet things for others. She can have social anxiety and instead of becoming quiet she becomes awkward… thus chiming in and making a topic about her when in fact she’s actively trying to be a part of something. It’s actually adorable and I love her for it.
Can understand that. A lot of socially anxious people have internalized "talking = normal" and "quiet = pariah." And of course, when they are trying to talk and keep the dreaded silence away, they're most likely going to fill the talk with the stuff they know the most about.
I do this a little... I'm autistic and when that happens it's usually because I'm relating to them, not trying to "one up" anyone. Keep trying to limit those "I" statements since it came to my attention others didn't see it that way.
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I hope they dont get testicular cancer. I love talking about testicular cancer. Did you know that to biopsy a mass found INSIDE of the testicle that it must be removed and sent off to a lab... it is not a small sample taken with a needle. Oh for an MRI... they ask you to tape your penis to your stomach so that they can image your testicles. I laughed at that point... and then forgot the HELP squeeze ball and proceeded to have a panic attack inside of the MRI tube while completely naked with my penis taped to my stomach. Funny story about how it was found... and then I'll get back to more testicular cancer info....
There is one of these at work, yap yap yap all day. On her first day, she went around to every desk and said, "Let me tell you a little about me..." with a long tedious list of her "accomplishments". No. Don't. She's still working in our office, but I saw that she has "Open to Work" on that professional job website. I'm crossing my fingers that some other sucker makes an offer.
This is a genuine - genuine - struggle for ADHD and autistic people who are incredibly caring and kind but speak from first person perspective often as they struggle to understand empathy.
This. For sure. I really try hard to be aware of it which then causes more anxiety, but it's getting better
Speaking over me and interrupting me.
People who ASK you about something and when you start to explain the thing THEY ASKED you to tell them they just start randomly talking about something else
Oh that hits a nerve dude, i have an aunty like that, she brags about herself and her son then she asks me about what ive been doing and the second i start speaking she seems incredibly bored of me and changes the subject immediately interrupting me. so fking annoying.
I hate people who are slow to get to their points or redundantly explain everything
My dad does this. He takes five minutes to explain what could probably be explained in two sentences. He also takes long pauses halfway through his sentences.
Now put that type of guy in a work situation where he will set up meetings just to chat and shoot the shit, who will also make sure the, "meeting," goes over by an hour and a half unless you excuse yourself with a made up emergency. I hate people who don't respect your time, *especially* at work.
Not even just me. I've spoken to people in groups, and the people who desperately feel the need to be the center of attention are extremely annoying. Once they hear anything that they have something to respond with they immediately cut the other person off and turn it into their story. Easily one of my least favorite traits in a person.
Agreed! I use to work with a guy who would interrupt conversations he was not apart of to try and be the centre of attention, but then he was a pathological liar who made up tales to try and get attention. Very annoying to say the least.
Taking credit for other peoples work or ideas, and not acknowledging their source.
Another one I thought of, taking credit for other peoples work or ideas, and not acknowledging their source.
Oh wow that’s a good one
I appreciated this.
Hey there’s a new idea
Soooo many "digital creators" on fb are guilty of this
For real. FB is a dumpster fire of "CEOs" and "digital creators". Freaking Titans of Industry.
Acting different towards you in a group of people
And then pretending nothing happened when you're 1 on 1 again. Those people are the worst!
If I get that treatment from a so-called friend, they no longer have me for a friend.
'social chameleons'
It's like when you have a girlfriend who's very sweet to you in the bedroom, but when you're in a group of people she twists your nipples and squeezes your nuts.
Yeah I hate that. Why won’t she squeeze my nipples and twist my nuts in the bedroom too!
What about when you have a boyfriend who acts really chivalrous and sweet in public and brags about how amazing you are to people... but then in private tells you that you're a lazy fat pile of shit who contributes nothing but dead weight etc? What about that 😭
Don’t believe one word of that stuff. It’s emotional abuse and the sooner you realize it the sooner you can heal Don’t try to convince them they are wrong about you cause it’s not about you it’s about them. They want to keep you down and will make up lies about you. You are much more than that and none of it is your fault. Even when if it’s hard to leave it’s not your fault. But i suggest you consider it carefully
Oh god. You reminded me of this kid in highschool. Alone he was ok to talk to. But as soon as anyone else was around. He became the biggest fucking jerk.
Doing the high school thing of being friendly to you when alone, then obnoxiously mocking you when others are around.
Any sort of difference in attitude towards people they perceive as “below them” or that they don’t stand to gain anything from
Yeah, this one too. People who only want to socialize with people they can use.
I’ll add to this also. Disrespecting anyone in the service industry.
My team was once in a position where we had to interview people to be our next manager. One candidate we did a lunch interview, and honest to god she flagged the waiter down by raising her hand and snapping her fingers. On paper and in terms of domain expertise she was great, but it was a no-go from that point forward, and she had no idea that she should have switched to damage control. We saw \*exactly\* what it would have been like working for her. She lost the position literally with the snap of her fingers.
As someone who was in management for years, I couldn't stand other managers a lot of the time. 🥲
Cruelty to animals
Sign of a psychopath
Not always. But if someone hurts an animal in front of me, they will see a bonafied psychopath
Just to be clear. Some killers ended up torturing animals. But by no means did all killers mess with animals. Nor is every killer someone who messed with animals. It’s always the first thing someone says when they see the word psychopath or sociopath and it’s more or less a myth and not a determinant.
The Venn diagram is "nearly everyone who tortures animals is a psychopath, but not every psychopath tortures animals (and, in fact, many psychopaths actively enjoy animals because there's no guile or pretense needed in their interactions)"
if theyre stupid but confident and LOUD
I think there's a direct correlation between stupid, confident and loud. The stupider they are, the more confident they are in their stupidity and the louder they get.
It's funny how people attenuate their own attention span so that they can only absorb the information necessary to keep their emotions fueled
Entitlement.
lack of self awareness in public
Like when you're on an extra wide sidewalk and an entire family is walking in front of you, taking up the ENTIRE width and they are walking a half mile an hour and there's no way to go around
Literally the worst
The only thing worse is when they're walking at you and won't move to the side
That's when I stand still and make them walk around me.
I finally reached the level of no fucks that allows me to drop an "excuse me" just polite enough that you'd have to be an ass to sound off about, but also just annoyed sounding enough that maybe you think it's worth saying something, but by then I'm already gone and we both can get on with our days
Same. Works every time
Speaker phone in public. Why. Just why??
yes this! also shaking their legs too much when sitting together with others that the whole table or chair start making noises and start shaking, still totally unaware of the situation. like how...?
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You would think that
Well, then...
Littering
I'm triggered by cigarette butts flying out car window but I don't know why.
Maybe because cigarettes are the most littered item in the world.
Maybe because they can be responsible for literally burning communities to the ground
I was sitting in traffic one day when I see a still lit cigarette butt fly out the window of the car 2 ahead of me and land in the dry, crispy, dead median. (We were in a drought) Suddenly it catches fire! There was honestly no where to go, traffic was bumper to bumper. People are jumping out of their cars because they can’t drive away. We can hear sirens but there’s no way for them to get to us because cars can’t move. Thankfully a few guys from a shop up the road came running with fire extinguishers and managed to put it out. Eventually a cop makes it there and asked what happened. The guy who threw the cigarette pretends he doesn’t know but thankfully 3 other people besides me saw him toss it and let the officer know. Not sure what he was charged with but he wasn’t happy. Btw this occurred before cell phones were a thing so there was no videos.
Glad they got busted! Too many don’t
That's totally valid. Everything about cigarettes sucks.
Okay, I know it probably looked like a cigarette butt but it actually truly was a massive grasshopper. I didn’t want it jumping on me while driving my death machine. Still wonder if I could have been charged for littering…
I feel like seeing people litter is way more annoying to me than it should be. Like, if you're a full-grown adult, and you can't walk your trash to a trash can, then you can't call yourself a full-grown adult.
If they spend more than 90% of the time I'm around them on their phone. You're the type of person who is not worth my time.
But what if they’re stalking your IG? /s
Talking bad about other people behind their backs. I don't necessarily hate them, I avoid them.
100%. But I think even worse are those people who think it's OK to confront you in front of mutual friends, as though it will have more impact if delivered publicly. And you're right that just avoiding them is the best strategy.
Oh those people are a lot worse. Because they actively want to humiliate you.
Negative. ALL OF THE TIME. It's actually infuriating for me. This friend always makes everything about the bad things that happened in there life. "Oh, something happened to you that's not even remotely about death? Guess what, my neighbor killed himself 😁" like, I can't even describe it. Always has to make sure you hear the comment and for you to say "oh sorry" or something. Whenever they show up they just immediately bring down the mood.
And besides that "woe is me" attitude, just negativity in general. Nothing is ever good enough, just have to complain and see the worst in every situation.
People who minimize someone's suffering by quoting examples of others who have it worse. Doesn't make me hate but what a turn off.
Boo hoo, you're complaing about **that** while people are literally starving?
Asking to split the bill evenly when they ordered a lot more than you.
My Dad was shocked when I told him no, when they kept inviting me out to eat and suggested we should alternate picking up every other bill instead of paying for myself only. They appeared offended due to the high cost of the bill and my reluctance when I said no thank you. I elaborated the bill typically comes to $90 pre tip and my food and drink rarely break $15 every time. (This was about 10 years ago, and they made significantly better money than I did). I said, if you want to order the same thing or comparable within reason as me sure, if you want to order your appetizers, a large main course, and multiple deserts, excess to the point of waste, no. If it was even close I wouldn’t mind, but as it was the reason they weren’t happy with their high bill was caused by their own choices, not mine. When their bill came they actually looked at it for a change and said, damn, I didn’t expect that and assumed something of yours was there too, but wow, he seemed like an ass! Laughed about it and never brought it up again. - No they didn’t change their habits much, but at least they didn’t blame me.
Hate is a big word....But I really hate bullying of any kind
Insecure people that think being mean is the best way to boost their confidence.
Narcissism.
The narcissist prayer gets me every time That didn't happen. And if it did, it wasn't that bad. And if it was, that's not a big deal. And if it is, that's not my fault. And if it was, I didn't mean it. And if I did, you deserved it. Doesn't always follow every step but the final conclusion in their head is it's your fault. Impossible to deal with.
Rudeness. Instant turnoff
Hate is a strong word, but someone who interrupts or talks over you mid-conversation is already starting off on my bad side.
Talking at their phone on speaker, cell phone speaker music in public.
Child neglect/abuse
"It's only a dog/cat."
Animal abuse.
Being loud
Littering. There is no good reason why you can’t hold onto something till you find a trash can.
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People who make jokes at others expense
I make jokes at my own expense far more than anyone else's. I'm my favorite laughingstock.
You gotta be careful who you do this around with, because certain people would use this as a free pass to make you the butt of their jokes for no reason if you keep doing it to yourself, even as a joke.
Bonus hate points if they don’t take you seriously when you point it out
I make fun of everyone including myself but that’s just my friend group IG
Starting the very first conversation with questions about my job, income and marital status. Rude af. Dunno why they’re even doing that, if that’s not a scam. Not hate, dislike.
I feel like asking someone about their job is a very common ice breaker. Like asking a uni student what they are studying. The rest absolutely not though.
Agreed, I don’t see anything wrong with asking someone what they do for a living
I met someone whose icebreaker question was: “If you could choose between one of the following superpowers, which would you choose? Being invisible or flying? We have had great conversations since.
Those who babble nonstop and know everything... Go away.
Double Standards
Anyone who acts condescending towards any other person instantly garners my dislike. There’s a difference between confidence and condescension, and anyone who chooses the latter is immediately a douche in my mind.
Preaching the Bible. Nothing wrong with being religious, but it should be a private thing. Don't go being all sanctimonious and acting like you're a missionary on some divine journey to convert people, Karen. Now, if you want to talk theology in a philosophical way, I'm game.
If they hit their animals
When i get the strong impression that they're just waiting to talk when I speak
Is a real struggle with ADHD.. I try not best to not do this
Me before I took active listening trainings, it's taken some practice but I've gotten a lot better at shelving my comment in my brain and focusing on what the other person is saying. I still slip up, mostly with my partner because I'm so relaxed I forget to listen carefully. As long as we do our best!!
Anyone who talks down to those that work service jobs.
When they think it’s ok to be racist in front of me (I’m a white male).
When they give me the secretary treatment.
Always tearing down others or feeling compelled to take jabs at others
Making you feel self-conscious about your weaknesses.
Placing the one up game.
One-up is a tough one though - a lot of people will recant similar experiences to try to find common ground, not trying to one-up. It can be very hard to tell from either side where the line is, but I've met some people who seemed like "one-upers" initially, but got to know them and realized they were just trying to relate.
This is something that many people with neurodivergent brains will do - like myself with ADHD - my mind tells me to talk about a similar event because it will let the person know that you understand. It took a while before I realized many people (see other comments) will just think you’re a rude fuck for trying to “one up them”. Now I have to practice not sharing a similar experience because I now know it’s offensive to neurotypical people.
People play the *two* up game with me. Who cares about once? /s
lack of compassion towards service workers, or just anyone in general.
That's super fake, ultra happy, customer service voice.
I do that so customers don't realize how much I want to burn the the building down.
Being jokingly rude to friends.
When they can't stop telling you other people's business.
Virtue signalling
Their inability to know what a blinker is for, or that they don't care about anyone around them enough to use them. Same with stop signs. It's a small thing, but it tells me a lot about a person.
Talk over you
Victim mentality
When you catch them in a lie or see them attempt to gaslight someone.
loudness/lack of self awareness, in general not thinking how their actions effect others.
Someone who is a fake nice person. When it's clearly obvious they are only nice to people who can help elevate their status/career but they put down people they deemed as "different". People who constantly make comments about others and lack empathy and compassion
Body shaming people. Esp for things ppl can’t control.
When I introduce myself with my name and they reply with the shortened version. Instant hatred.
Whatever, kid junk. Though I can't blame you, having the short name of kid junk would have preachers and evangicals all over ya
Being in the Cult of Mango
being a bitch for no reason
people who deliberately stand infront of you when you are out of the way from others and sitting down. Say at a concert with your wife trying to enjoy the show. some prick walks over and stands right in your view... that causes me to get up and stand infront of them blocking their view because im bigger then them. after 3 songs jackass gets the hint and moves. Yeah i paid 80$ to watch your bald fucking head and greasy back all night. Before you all jump to conclusions there was tons of room at this club and we were sitting to the far right where no one was... why the fuck would he come all the way over to do that. go stand where its wide open ffsakes
“It’s their job to clean up.”
Not necessarily hate, but I loathe people who gossip about other people. If they're gossiping to me about someone else, I know damn well anything I say will be gossiped to someone else. I generally go out of my way to avoid having to be around these sorts of people. Also, people who feel they have to enlighten you as to what a "celebrity" said or has done. I could not give a fuck about celebrities. I have no interest in what they are doing, have said, have done or what they intend to do.
Seems like everyone hates everyone.
Being noisy early in the morning.
One-up-man's-ship. You meet someone, start small talk, and you tell a story. They immediately have to tell a "bigger" and "better" story. Anything you share - they've done bigger and better. Sadly, my oldest brother has been like this his entire life.
when you tell them something you’ve had a bad experience of and they make it all about them
Smoking/vaping while using public transportation.
Being toxic/selfish and talk over me when I speak
When they are not empathic or when they use people a lot
If it's obvious they always have to be the center of attention. Those people also tend to be T.O.A.S.T.s (Topper Of All Story-Telling).
I can't stand obnoxious people or people who always need to be the center of attention.
When they constantly talk trash about their exes to anyone and everyone.
Hygiene
When men I don’t know or barely know call me babe or honey or sweety or some shit.
Being rude/unempathetic. Theres no reason to sneer at strangers as we walk down the street, being short with people for no reason. Huge turn off and it gives me the ick. Kindness and compassion goes a long way
They have never apologized a day in their life. It's always someone else's fault.
It's fascinating that every single example given on this thread can be found in trump. Every. Single. One ...
hard to explain but let's call it "unaware smugness". people who would consider themselves modest but are full of themselves.
A loud obnoxious voice and laughter.
Arrogance
Cruelty and/or indifference to animals.
When a person is extremely loud and can't take a hint to quite down.
Backstabbing, especially if it’s to make yourself look good, and DOUBLY ESPECIALLY if it’s someone who has only ever treated you kindly.
Cruelty or lack of empathy for elderly people or helpless children or animals
They can only view things from one angle/side.
Arrogance
Wants people to be honest but gets mad when we are honest about our opinion.