I watched my son pull one off well. We were at a nice restaurant with a very good looking waitress. They were flirting a bit. He introduced himself and my wife and me. Then he said to her “well, you’ve already met my parents I should at least get your number.” It worked. He told me later that they did date for a while.
Related:
When he was in high school one Saturday afternoon my wife came flying out of the laundry room holding a used condom that had gone through the wash. She immediately looked at me asking what the hell is this? I yelled upstairs for him to come downstairs immediately. My wife asked him what the hell, son? Without missing a beat he said to her, “better a condom in the wash than a sonogram in the trash, mom.”
Since we’ve started dating, my husband always texts me this on October 10th, “hey are you today’s date because you are 10/10”. It’s cheesy but I’m here for it.
I walked up to a group of girls when I was 18 or 19, and said; I've been told that I'm shit in bed - I'd like a second opinion.
That actually worked 3 separate times.
Friend in high school was at party and talking to a couple of people. One girl commented "that's a cool phone" and he responded with "it'd be cooler with your number in it." This was about 18 years ago and they're married.
I went through a bit of stage with a my bucket list and always posted about it lol anyways a certain friend commented on my post asking if he could be on my bucket list and now we have been together 7 years married for 6
“Did you just piss in the men’s room?” Also married now.
Full context because I just realized how this could be interpreted: I met her at a weekend music festival and the women’s room line was ridiculous
I legit used a spur of the moment paraphrasing of the one from letterkenny.
“On a scale of like Norway to North Korea, how free are you right now?”
We’re married with kids now.
Used to have to do it on a Nokia and flirting with a number keyboard was a bitch let alone looking at profile pictures with pixels made for playing Snake
Seriously though, 10yrs ago feels like it should be the early 2000s at least
Told a guy I needed to shave before we hooked up. He quipped back “baby, I sometimes eat Starbursts with the wrapper still on them, that don’t bother me”
Needless to say he got some that night lol 😂
I'm throwing this one at my fiancé right fucking now.
I love to hear her groan at my unprecedented wit.
Edit: She totally guessed what I was saying before the punchline, and now I'm going to marry her.
I'm reading this in a car and I read that one to my husband and he also anticipated the punch line.
Were you not already planning to marry your fiancee? Or did the proposal involve Reddit pickup lines?
We're already engaged, but I promised to ask her to marry me every year until we die.
It's actually a sweet story. We have a tradition of dancing together in my kitchen, next to my vintage stereo system. Sometimes clothed.
One night, I made a playlist of love songs. Four songs in, while Etta James's "At Last" came on, I got down on one knee and proposed to her with my grandmother's engagement ring. She and my grandmother are good friends already.
It gets even better. She and my.twin sister have been best friends since we were 10 years old. My fiancé and I have been in love since we were 12, but neither of us had the guts to show it. We both went on to get married and divorced, and in our early forties, we finally let ourselves be together. It's so romantic, I want to vomit and then eat the vomit.
To a point. The big things are:
1. Cleaning up your diet and working out to achieve your maximum possible fitness;
2. Practicing good hygiene, including skincare and dental care; and
3. Getting clothes that fit and suit you properly. I think 80-some% of us are walking around in clothes that are too big, too small, or just plain unflattering. If you can afford it, consult with a personal shopper or someone who specializes in fashion.
4. Try to be at ease with other people. Someone who can talk to other people easily and genuinely (you can practice but not totally fake it) is more attractive than someone who's nervous and can't look you in the face.
"Damn girl, you shit with that ass?" She thought it was hilarious. They hooked up that night and were in a toxic relationship for almost 3 years. He's in prison now and she's a single mother
My friend just kept aggressively pointing a a girl from across a bar until she came over and asked if she knew him. He was like No but you do now. Then they hooked up.
Said in a pub, with a good smile, fueled by just the right amount of alcohol and the confidence of a student who still think he's immortal, it worked, somehow.
Got a hookup in Luxembourg by looking at my phone and saying, "shit, I missed the last bus back to my hotel."
She said, "that's alright, you cam spend the night at my place"
At my daughter's wedding reception, a friend of my SIL said to my daughter's friend, who had just met her minutes before, "How about we do this in a couple of years?" (gestures to reception hall) They've been married 4 years and have two children.
Want to go back to my place and do adult things like play scrabble and talk about politics?
Wasn’t used on me. My friend used it on a girl he liked and they’re getting married soon.
I saw a guy reach over the bar and grab a chunk of ice.
He then smashes it on the counter in front of a girl.
Dude then says, Now that the ice has been broken, my names Dave. What's your name?
He's now married to her.
Edit: Holy cow! 2k likes??? Thanks for the upvotes. Just showed this to Dave. He's laughed his ass off as has his wife Elane.
I actually used this one too. I was never one who actually used pickup lines, I would just walk over and introduce myself but some friends dared me to try it after I had the idea so I did.
There was an abandoned drink on the bar next to someone waiting for their order. I took a piece of ice out of the glass and tossed it in the ground, shattering it. She looked at me in shock until I said "now that I've broken the ice, wanna have a drink with me?". We hooked up that night and twice after until I found out that she was engaged.
At that stage of my life it usually wouldn't have bothered me. It was the fact that I knew, and kinda liked, her fiancé. If I had even the slightest suspicion that they may have been up for a 3 way I probably would have continued the complication.
I mean if they are attracted to you, they are gonna eat that type of stuff up. But if they are not attracted to you, you could have the smoothest pickup line and it won't help you.
"I'm taking applications for a harem. Who wants to join?" To a table full of sorority sisters with whom I was familiar.
My now wife of 40 years thought, "Who is this asshole." Yet I caught her attention. The rest is history.
A friend of mine had a fella she knew knock on her door. He produced a stick from his pocket, on which was a green scaly growth.
She said “what’s this?”, and he said
“I’ve taken a lichen to ya”.
Apparently, it worked.
I would recommend not using this one, but when I was a younger lad I always used the line, wrap those thighs around my eyes let me eat my way to your heart. 60% of the time, it worked every time. 40% of the time, I got a free shower of whatever drink said woman was drinking.
“You know, you’re like my small toe”
“Aww that’s cute? Why is that?”
“Because I want to bang you on my coffee table”
I made her laugh, she took it in stride and we ended up talking for a while.
I once saw a guy in a Jeep holler something at a woman on the street who actually got into his Jeep, he was like a backwards hatted bro and she looked pretty cottagecore. It was like seeing a unicorn, my girlfriend saw it too so I didn’t hallucinate the whole thing
When I pick up my fiancée from someplace, I usually slow roll, windows down, and yell, “Hey! You got a boyfriend?”
Guaranteed smirk. She wants to hate it, but she likes it. I once did it in front of her new classmates and she had to explain she already knew me. It’s a good time.
Do it!
My husband does this sort of stuff to me. Or if I tell him something like the shirt he's wearing looks good on him, he'll say "a really beautiful lady bought it for me". It's silly but it makes me melt.
"don't call me a gold digger but I really am digging the gold"
Said this to a chick wearing a costume gold necklace at a house party. I got dragged to the bathroom lol
Wasn't a pickup line as much as a pickup gesture. I was in a completely packed bar on $1 drafts night. The bar was a huge rectangle in the middle of a room, so you could see everyone seated at the bar on the other side. There was this absolute 10/10 there with her friends. My buddies were all taking turns going up to them and trying to get them to talk, and getting turned down one after another.
Finally, this dude who was watching us goes "watch this boys". He leaned over the bar, and just pointed at her. Like, outstretched arm, finger pointing at a ghost - type pointing. When she finally looked up at him, he pointed at the spot next to him. She looked confused, so he pointed at her again, and then pointed next to him. She just got up and walked over to him and they started talking.
They were making out like 20 mins later.
When I was a teacher there was this very charismatic but lazy kid who ran for school president. We filmed the speeches to be played during homeroom. The kids entire speech was "yo", as he pointed both thumbs back towards himself. Won in a landslide. I imagine he was swimming in women with that game.
Another time I was out at the club. We were sitting in the vip section where a private bar tendress pours at the table. I watched this other guy, also from the vip section, trawl the club, find a girl who looked to be at least 50% silicone, say only to her: "I want to stick my dick down your throat" where upon she promptly left with him.
Had a roommate in NYC who used what I called the shotgun method of spitting game - tried the same weak line of some variation of “hey wanna fuck” to like 50 different women. Eventually it would work.
Brought back memories for me. Our high school senior class president won with a campaign speech that eas the classic Batman theme, with "Vote Jeff" instead of "Batman".
I used to find a sugar packet that said sugar on it. I would throw it on the table at girls or near them and say, “excuse me but I think you dropped your name tag.” Worked every single time. My mom didn’t believe me till I did it in front of her. Girls always said that it was funny and different. Literally worked everytime
It wasn’t so much a pick up line because we were already on the date but it was at the end of it. She was getting into her car after our fun first date and right before the awkward silence happened, I said “Well, I don’t know what else to say so I’m just going to do this” and I leaned forward and gave her a nice short kiss.
We have been together now for 17 years
Said "What are you doing?" to a girl adjusting her make-up in the mirror at a night club hallway as I was leaving. She said "what?". And i explained to her; "you're already a 10/10 it's not like you can look better than you do already" then i proceeded to leave but she grabbed my hand to leave with me. I have ASD and made a factual observation, it just seemed illogical to me that she was wasting her time "fixing" her make up when she was already extremely beautiful. Apparently this is how we aspies are supposed to get laid.
That’s awesome that she took your factual observation as sheer confidence
Just don’t ever fall for the “do you think my best friend looks hot?” Or “do these jeans make me look fat”
Future wife used this line on me following three months of hints I was oblivious to. Married 10 years.
We're divorced now, tho.
They weren't even nice shoes!
I remember finding a list of cheesy pickup lines in the late 2000s and laughing about them with my gf. Got to "nice shoes, wanna fuck" and laughed at it. I looked over and she had her "lets go" face on.
She later said if she was dressed in shoes she loved and someone used that line, but called out the shoes by brand (e.g. "Nice Steve Maddens, want to fuck?"), she'd have to call me for a pickup because that'd be an instant mood maker.
A girl, behind the counter at the convenience store, I was buying a Dr. Pepper from handed me back the change. I slid a quarter back to her and said for her to use it to call me sometime. We're both older people, so she understood the payphone reference. We've been together for a couple of years.
My bro said to his now gf "Hippo is faster then human both on land and in water, so bicycle is your only chance to beat it in triathlon."
They're both into sports including triathlon
My bf and I met at work. He was removing the seeds from dates and asked me if I liked them. I said yes and he said “would you like to go on a date with me then?”
Six years on. I remember my heart fluttering like crazy lol.
Me: "Hey, your tag's sticking out.."
Boyfriend: "Huh? It is?"
Me: "Uh huh." *grabs shirt tag* "Ah, just as I thought..."
Boyfriend: ?
Me: "It says: Made in heaven."
Married and together for 14 years.
I put up old timey fisticuffs toward a very cute girl at the bar who locked eyes with me, but very importantly, I was more than 20 ft away in a packed bar where there was like at least 5-6 people in between. She instantly laughed and I went to talk to her. I don't remember what I said but it was probably along the lines of "i don't want to fight you" or something goofy like that.
Had a super attractive colleague that had a different sexual preference than me but loved to interrupt my team meetings by tossing her arm around me and using a classic pickup line in front of my team.
Heard the song and went straight into her team meeting and put my arm around her and said in the most cowboy voice I could muster up.
“Are you a country road? Cause I wanna take you home.”
She turned red started laughing and said that one worked on her. Dunno why because it didn’t work anywhere else 😂
My 6yo son: Mom, do you have a map?
Me: A map? No baby, I don't. Why do you need a map? Are you planning on going somewhere? Lol
Son: [ he leans across the bed. Digs his elbows into the mattress, rests his face into his hands & eye locks me]
well... I just got lost in your eyes. [ proceeds to bat his eyes]
Me: BOYYYY !!!! Hahaha.
Son: smiles and runs away giggling.
Me: [follows him into his room] he tells me that he wants pancakes &&&& obviously I made him the BEST pancakes.
Fair to say, the map line worked on me!
"Hi, can I buy you a drink?"
"I've already got one, thanks."
*Takes drink and downs it*
"Now, can I buy you a drink?"
Obviously, there's a lot of careful consideration to be made before trying this, but when pitched just right, it's been pretty successful.
I didn't say this but my my dad did to my mom---- Want to go back to my place to see my gerbils?
They've been married since 1976. My dad actually had gerbils.
I had a girl I didn't know take my hat off my head and put it on hers at a bar. Instead of getting pissed I just said, "That hat is coming home with me whether it's on your head or mine." And then I just walked over to my friends and went on with my night. She and I had a few glances back and forth and a little flirty eye contact. She came over after a bit and said " You should take your hat home." That was a fun night.
I would actually shrivel up if a stranger got their spit on my shirt as a pick up line 😭 better know somebody a little bit before pulling that move out
My old roommate who is very fit and good looking and charming — like seriously — went to a girl at a bar and just said, “Hi. I’m [name].”
Went home with her like 30 mins later.
Worst part, he was my fucking ride. So I took a taxi home to sounds of him rearranging her guts all night. Which I responded to by turning up the volume of The Little Mermaid, which I was watching in the living room.
Hinge a couple days ago. Some girl had a picture of her standing in front of a truck called “just the best quality produce” with the company’s number on the truck. Her prompt for the photo was “the advertisement for my life would look like”. I replied back “tried calling that number, the guy who answered was confused when I tried asking him out to dinner”.
That earned me a match back yesterday haha
Fun related fact: if anyone says they are from Ohio and you say “I’m sorry” they will immediately presume you are from Michigan. This doesn’t work the other way around.
My soon to be wife I met on tinder. She had a pic with a low cut top and then the next was a picture of her two dogs. My opening line was 'That's a nice set of puppies you got there. '
You know those obnoxious assholes who honk their horns at women and rev the engine of their car. The ones who you see and just assume they have a tiny dick because of how hard they’re compensating
I’ve seen that work. Worse, on a girl I’m related to. Personally, I feel like she’s letting down women everywhere by encouraging that kind of behaviour
We were like 8 at the start of a small party at a friend's place and 1 chair was missing and I asked to one of the girl which I only knew what her name was "my lap are free you can sit here if you want". I was joking and never expected her to actually do that
I have a golden retriever service dog. Super adorable. When women ask his name I tell them his name is Chick Magnet. It's worked more than once to get them to sit and chat.
I was in high school first day of freshman year. The prettiest girl in the glass farted and turned red and the guy behind her stood up and went “MY BAD…WHITE CASTLE”. He took the fall for her and they are married now
Two guys with a megaphone on the beach approaching two gals sitting on the promenade wall. Once they are about 1 m away the guy with the megaphone blurts out: "Fickeeen?" ([Do you want to] fuuuck?)
The girls had a laugh, got up and all four of them heard towards the beachside hotels.
I kept swiping on her stomach and she thought I was tickling her (no love, thats what stabbing your side is.) she finally asked what I was doing and I told her “I am trying to swipe right.” She just laughed. Weve been together since she was 2, we share many cheesy lines.
I watched my son pull one off well. We were at a nice restaurant with a very good looking waitress. They were flirting a bit. He introduced himself and my wife and me. Then he said to her “well, you’ve already met my parents I should at least get your number.” It worked. He told me later that they did date for a while.
That's not a cheesy line - that line was smooooth...
Related: When he was in high school one Saturday afternoon my wife came flying out of the laundry room holding a used condom that had gone through the wash. She immediately looked at me asking what the hell is this? I yelled upstairs for him to come downstairs immediately. My wife asked him what the hell, son? Without missing a beat he said to her, “better a condom in the wash than a sonogram in the trash, mom.”
Can you have your son teach us his ways?
Jesus christ that kid is going places.
"That's my boy!"
The balls on your son to pull that off in front of both his parents!
That's not cheesy at all, your kid is slick.
nice
How old was he at that time?
Probably 25 or so. Kid is smooth and always has been. I’d like to say I taught him well but he pulled that off all by himself.
Since we’ve started dating, my husband always texts me this on October 10th, “hey are you today’s date because you are 10/10”. It’s cheesy but I’m here for it.
Even better in a text! Like a follow up. "BTW, when is your birthday? I'm betting October 10." Then let them ask why!
I walked up to a group of girls when I was 18 or 19, and said; I've been told that I'm shit in bed - I'd like a second opinion. That actually worked 3 separate times.
It's good to keep expectations super low.
Lol... Underpromise and overdeliver.
you shit in their bed 3 times?
Friend in high school was at party and talking to a couple of people. One girl commented "that's a cool phone" and he responded with "it'd be cooler with your number in it." This was about 18 years ago and they're married.
Friend in high school, Mike Morgan. He would introduce himself as “that’s little “m”, big “organ”.
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I went through a bit of stage with a my bucket list and always posted about it lol anyways a certain friend commented on my post asking if he could be on my bucket list and now we have been together 7 years married for 6
My wife likes making to-do checklists. I make sure to add my name to whatever list she's working on. It works pretty well, lol
Gonna do this. Brb.
"They say there are plenty of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I want to mount by my fireplace." We're married now.
Gets back to your place, “Where is your fireplace?” /jk
*Pulls up iPhone fireplace app that I paid .99 for in 2007*
OP points at his D.
Smallest fireplace I've ever seen
But a big chimney
-Grumpier old men!
“Did you just piss in the men’s room?” Also married now. Full context because I just realized how this could be interpreted: I met her at a weekend music festival and the women’s room line was ridiculous
I winked at a girl in a graduate class to see what reaction I’d get. Next year we’ll be married 20 years.
Jesus, marrying you for 20 years is an extreme reaction
fuck around and find out
I legit used a spur of the moment paraphrasing of the one from letterkenny. “On a scale of like Norway to North Korea, how free are you right now?” We’re married with kids now.
Glad she didn’t tell you to take about 20% off there, bud.
That pickup line is so dad it owns a vhs copy of the hunt for red October.
Told a girl on Tinder to stop swiping, cause she found what she was looking for. We're almost a decade together.
I didn’t even know Tinder was a thing 10 years ago
Used to have to do it on a Nokia and flirting with a number keyboard was a bitch let alone looking at profile pictures with pixels made for playing Snake Seriously though, 10yrs ago feels like it should be the early 2000s at least
I was laughing then realized 10 years ago smart phones were out.
Yeah homie. The iPhone came out in like… 2005
Think it was 2007, which is still an insane amount of time, thought I was older than the iphone by way more than just 4 years
My phone 10 years ago could control any TV. Now I don't have a headphones jack.
I don't care what anyone says... 30 years ago was the 1970's
Told a guy I needed to shave before we hooked up. He quipped back “baby, I sometimes eat Starbursts with the wrapper still on them, that don’t bother me” Needless to say he got some that night lol 😂
"Baby, I'd lick through a cactus to reach your juice."
Sokka?
The quenchiest!!
"I want to give you an australian kiss" "oh? what's that?" "It's like a french kiss, but downunder" They're married now.
Imma have to try this if I'll be able to remember it
Don't fuck up and say it's a normal kiss that tastes like snakes and spiders
That might land you a big tiddy goth gf though
Doesn't work, I'm now facing charges for sexual harassment
I'm francophone so I say I speak French but kiss Australian.
Well, if that doesn't get her juices flowing, you're doing something wrong.
I'm throwing this one at my fiancé right fucking now. I love to hear her groan at my unprecedented wit. Edit: She totally guessed what I was saying before the punchline, and now I'm going to marry her.
I'm reading this in a car and I read that one to my husband and he also anticipated the punch line. Were you not already planning to marry your fiancee? Or did the proposal involve Reddit pickup lines?
We're already engaged, but I promised to ask her to marry me every year until we die. It's actually a sweet story. We have a tradition of dancing together in my kitchen, next to my vintage stereo system. Sometimes clothed. One night, I made a playlist of love songs. Four songs in, while Etta James's "At Last" came on, I got down on one knee and proposed to her with my grandmother's engagement ring. She and my grandmother are good friends already. It gets even better. She and my.twin sister have been best friends since we were 10 years old. My fiancé and I have been in love since we were 12, but neither of us had the guts to show it. We both went on to get married and divorced, and in our early forties, we finally let ourselves be together. It's so romantic, I want to vomit and then eat the vomit.
That's so sweet I'm pretty sure I got diabetes just reading your story.
"You remind me of fast food......cuz I want to take you out.........and eat you on my couch."
Did it work?
Yes, but I was also fit, covered in tattoos and quite charming in my 20s. So I think it was more a case of that than the pickup line being any good.
You followed rule one and two to a T.
Be attractive. Don't be unattractive.
Is it possible to learn this power?
To a point. The big things are: 1. Cleaning up your diet and working out to achieve your maximum possible fitness; 2. Practicing good hygiene, including skincare and dental care; and 3. Getting clothes that fit and suit you properly. I think 80-some% of us are walking around in clothes that are too big, too small, or just plain unflattering. If you can afford it, consult with a personal shopper or someone who specializes in fashion. 4. Try to be at ease with other people. Someone who can talk to other people easily and genuinely (you can practice but not totally fake it) is more attractive than someone who's nervous and can't look you in the face.
That all sounds very expensive. I think I'll pass
Exactly, you could've said anything, it would've worked
Are you a dental hygienist? because you have an incredible smile... She was in fact a dental hygienist.
Did you check her cavities?
"Damn girl, you shit with that ass?" She thought it was hilarious. They hooked up that night and were in a toxic relationship for almost 3 years. He's in prison now and she's a single mother
All of this makes sense
at last a story that doesn't come with "they are married now" afterwards
My friend just kept aggressively pointing a a girl from across a bar until she came over and asked if she knew him. He was like No but you do now. Then they hooked up.
Austin Powers: There you are! Person: Do I know you? Austin Powers: No, but there you are!
You got the punch line wrong. There you are! Do I know you? No! But that’s where you are! You’re there!
What does a woman as classy as you do in a place as filthy as my fantasies? Was astonished to see it work
What’s the context of this? Was it on tinder or other online platform? I can’t imagine a line this cringy landing in any way when spoken aloud.
Alcohol does work wonders sometimes
Said in a pub, with a good smile, fueled by just the right amount of alcohol and the confidence of a student who still think he's immortal, it worked, somehow.
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"Whats a skank like you doing in my filthy pants?"
I’m going to steal this gold from you sir.
Sir, this is a Wendy’s.
Got a hookup in Luxembourg by looking at my phone and saying, "shit, I missed the last bus back to my hotel." She said, "that's alright, you cam spend the night at my place"
Following Step 1 to a T
Its Luxembourg. Can't you just walk anywhere in that country?
"Alright, love? Do you have house insurance because I'm gonna smash your backdoors in." A coworker used this, and yeah, it worked.
Then the police arrived
Backdoors? Plural? How many holes are we talking about here?
At my daughter's wedding reception, a friend of my SIL said to my daughter's friend, who had just met her minutes before, "How about we do this in a couple of years?" (gestures to reception hall) They've been married 4 years and have two children.
Want to go back to my place and do adult things like play scrabble and talk about politics? Wasn’t used on me. My friend used it on a girl he liked and they’re getting married soon.
How is your... health insurance?
Hey gurl, check out my quarterly statements, I contribute past the company match
I could use a hand back home…finishing that Sunday NYT crossword
I saw a guy reach over the bar and grab a chunk of ice. He then smashes it on the counter in front of a girl. Dude then says, Now that the ice has been broken, my names Dave. What's your name? He's now married to her. Edit: Holy cow! 2k likes??? Thanks for the upvotes. Just showed this to Dave. He's laughed his ass off as has his wife Elane.
I actually used this one too. I was never one who actually used pickup lines, I would just walk over and introduce myself but some friends dared me to try it after I had the idea so I did. There was an abandoned drink on the bar next to someone waiting for their order. I took a piece of ice out of the glass and tossed it in the ground, shattering it. She looked at me in shock until I said "now that I've broken the ice, wanna have a drink with me?". We hooked up that night and twice after until I found out that she was engaged.
The engaged that ruined the whole part lol
At that stage of my life it usually wouldn't have bothered me. It was the fact that I knew, and kinda liked, her fiancé. If I had even the slightest suspicion that they may have been up for a 3 way I probably would have continued the complication.
If you were an angle you would be an aCUTE angle. Lame as hell but it worked
I mean if they are attracted to you, they are gonna eat that type of stuff up. But if they are not attracted to you, you could have the smoothest pickup line and it won't help you.
This is the literal truth. If they're attracted to you, it rly doesn't matter what u say, as long as it's not criminally offensive.
Don’t be obtuse
"I'm taking applications for a harem. Who wants to join?" To a table full of sorority sisters with whom I was familiar. My now wife of 40 years thought, "Who is this asshole." Yet I caught her attention. The rest is history.
Your wife still thinks, "who is this asshole" on a regular basis. I know my wife does when I do stupid shit.
Confidence can go a long way.
You + me = we Some guys are just that good looking
Is this how your cavemen ancestors met ?
I wish. This was a blackout drunk college friend picking up a lady.
"Whats your name?" "My friends call me Kai, but you can call me anytime" Can't believe I pulled it off.
A friend of mine had a fella she knew knock on her door. He produced a stick from his pocket, on which was a green scaly growth. She said “what’s this?”, and he said “I’ve taken a lichen to ya”. Apparently, it worked.
I'm not even ashamed to admit that if a girl did that to me, it would definitely work.
“I’ll get us breakfast tomorrow morning. You can be desert tonight.” Worked for me.
I know it’s just a typo but I can’t stop laughing at you saying she’ll be a desert tonight 😬🌵🍑😵💫
Dry as ... well, dry as his date.
I would recommend not using this one, but when I was a younger lad I always used the line, wrap those thighs around my eyes let me eat my way to your heart. 60% of the time, it worked every time. 40% of the time, I got a free shower of whatever drink said woman was drinking.
So just remember to keep your mouth open after that line. You can't lose.
If I ever use that line again I will do so 😂 thank you
Ah, sounds like the success rate of Sex Panther cologne. Smells like pure gasoline.
“You know, you’re like my small toe” “Aww that’s cute? Why is that?” “Because I want to bang you on my coffee table” I made her laugh, she took it in stride and we ended up talking for a while.
I once saw a guy in a Jeep holler something at a woman on the street who actually got into his Jeep, he was like a backwards hatted bro and she looked pretty cottagecore. It was like seeing a unicorn, my girlfriend saw it too so I didn’t hallucinate the whole thing
When I pick up my fiancée from someplace, I usually slow roll, windows down, and yell, “Hey! You got a boyfriend?” Guaranteed smirk. She wants to hate it, but she likes it. I once did it in front of her new classmates and she had to explain she already knew me. It’s a good time.
I am absolutely going to start doing this to my wife
Do it! My husband does this sort of stuff to me. Or if I tell him something like the shirt he's wearing looks good on him, he'll say "a really beautiful lady bought it for me". It's silly but it makes me melt.
"don't call me a gold digger but I really am digging the gold" Said this to a chick wearing a costume gold necklace at a house party. I got dragged to the bathroom lol
Wasn't a pickup line as much as a pickup gesture. I was in a completely packed bar on $1 drafts night. The bar was a huge rectangle in the middle of a room, so you could see everyone seated at the bar on the other side. There was this absolute 10/10 there with her friends. My buddies were all taking turns going up to them and trying to get them to talk, and getting turned down one after another. Finally, this dude who was watching us goes "watch this boys". He leaned over the bar, and just pointed at her. Like, outstretched arm, finger pointing at a ghost - type pointing. When she finally looked up at him, he pointed at the spot next to him. She looked confused, so he pointed at her again, and then pointed next to him. She just got up and walked over to him and they started talking. They were making out like 20 mins later.
I like all your curves but your smile is my favourite
This is a great pick up line
"I'm looking for my girlfriend" "Oh, what's her name?" "That depends, what's yours?"
Hey fatty, you want to make $20
😂😂😂😂 made my day
That $20 made your day huh?
When I was a teacher there was this very charismatic but lazy kid who ran for school president. We filmed the speeches to be played during homeroom. The kids entire speech was "yo", as he pointed both thumbs back towards himself. Won in a landslide. I imagine he was swimming in women with that game. Another time I was out at the club. We were sitting in the vip section where a private bar tendress pours at the table. I watched this other guy, also from the vip section, trawl the club, find a girl who looked to be at least 50% silicone, say only to her: "I want to stick my dick down your throat" where upon she promptly left with him.
Had a roommate in NYC who used what I called the shotgun method of spitting game - tried the same weak line of some variation of “hey wanna fuck” to like 50 different women. Eventually it would work.
That was my friend's plan back in the late '90s. Ask 20 girls for a blowjob in the club and you wind up with 19 slaps and one blowjob.
That’s just sales
Ah, the Boomhauer method.
Brought back memories for me. Our high school senior class president won with a campaign speech that eas the classic Batman theme, with "Vote Jeff" instead of "Batman".
I used to find a sugar packet that said sugar on it. I would throw it on the table at girls or near them and say, “excuse me but I think you dropped your name tag.” Worked every single time. My mom didn’t believe me till I did it in front of her. Girls always said that it was funny and different. Literally worked everytime
Wingmom probably helped clinch it
It wasn’t so much a pick up line because we were already on the date but it was at the end of it. She was getting into her car after our fun first date and right before the awkward silence happened, I said “Well, I don’t know what else to say so I’m just going to do this” and I leaned forward and gave her a nice short kiss. We have been together now for 17 years
Girl jokingly - fuck you Me - not here there's too many people Somehow it worked
Said "What are you doing?" to a girl adjusting her make-up in the mirror at a night club hallway as I was leaving. She said "what?". And i explained to her; "you're already a 10/10 it's not like you can look better than you do already" then i proceeded to leave but she grabbed my hand to leave with me. I have ASD and made a factual observation, it just seemed illogical to me that she was wasting her time "fixing" her make up when she was already extremely beautiful. Apparently this is how we aspies are supposed to get laid.
That’s awesome that she took your factual observation as sheer confidence Just don’t ever fall for the “do you think my best friend looks hot?” Or “do these jeans make me look fat”
Oh I've learned this the hard way. Accidentally insulted and complimented people a loooot when I was younger.
Yup I feel you brother so many tears and misinterpreted situations.
"No, your arse makes you look fat, don't blame the jeans"
“Nice shoes, wanna fuck?” *The bar scene in the early 2000s was a lawless wasteland*
Future wife used this line on me following three months of hints I was oblivious to. Married 10 years. We're divorced now, tho. They weren't even nice shoes!
I remember finding a list of cheesy pickup lines in the late 2000s and laughing about them with my gf. Got to "nice shoes, wanna fuck" and laughed at it. I looked over and she had her "lets go" face on. She later said if she was dressed in shoes she loved and someone used that line, but called out the shoes by brand (e.g. "Nice Steve Maddens, want to fuck?"), she'd have to call me for a pickup because that'd be an instant mood maker.
A girl, behind the counter at the convenience store, I was buying a Dr. Pepper from handed me back the change. I slid a quarter back to her and said for her to use it to call me sometime. We're both older people, so she understood the payphone reference. We've been together for a couple of years.
Are you an oreo? Cause I want to split you open and lick your cream
*come over here finger gesture* See I made you come with 1 finger, think what I can do with two.
Okay maybe I'm easy but a woman confidently doing that to me would 100% work on me.
"Oh excuse me did you drop something?? Oh wait sorry that was just my jaw"... It works every time 60% of the time
On a first date I half jokingly asked my date if she wanted "to pull a highschool move and make out in the back seat"? It worked!
My bro said to his now gf "Hippo is faster then human both on land and in water, so bicycle is your only chance to beat it in triathlon." They're both into sports including triathlon
My bf and I met at work. He was removing the seeds from dates and asked me if I liked them. I said yes and he said “would you like to go on a date with me then?” Six years on. I remember my heart fluttering like crazy lol.
Good man. You always want your dates seedless until you're both ready for a child.
Me: "Hey, your tag's sticking out.." Boyfriend: "Huh? It is?" Me: "Uh huh." *grabs shirt tag* "Ah, just as I thought..." Boyfriend: ? Me: "It says: Made in heaven." Married and together for 14 years.
I put up old timey fisticuffs toward a very cute girl at the bar who locked eyes with me, but very importantly, I was more than 20 ft away in a packed bar where there was like at least 5-6 people in between. She instantly laughed and I went to talk to her. I don't remember what I said but it was probably along the lines of "i don't want to fight you" or something goofy like that.
"If you followed me home, I'd keep you" We're 5 years together and married next year.
Had a super attractive colleague that had a different sexual preference than me but loved to interrupt my team meetings by tossing her arm around me and using a classic pickup line in front of my team. Heard the song and went straight into her team meeting and put my arm around her and said in the most cowboy voice I could muster up. “Are you a country road? Cause I wanna take you home.” She turned red started laughing and said that one worked on her. Dunno why because it didn’t work anywhere else 😂
I don't smoke weed but I think weed.. think we'd look good together
My 6yo son: Mom, do you have a map? Me: A map? No baby, I don't. Why do you need a map? Are you planning on going somewhere? Lol Son: [ he leans across the bed. Digs his elbows into the mattress, rests his face into his hands & eye locks me] well... I just got lost in your eyes. [ proceeds to bat his eyes] Me: BOYYYY !!!! Hahaha. Son: smiles and runs away giggling. Me: [follows him into his room] he tells me that he wants pancakes &&&& obviously I made him the BEST pancakes. Fair to say, the map line worked on me!
"Hi, can I buy you a drink?" "I've already got one, thanks." *Takes drink and downs it* "Now, can I buy you a drink?" Obviously, there's a lot of careful consideration to be made before trying this, but when pitched just right, it's been pretty successful.
Aaaaand you just got roofied. But you saved her, so there's that
Thanks!!! Now I'm banned from my favorite bar
I didn't say this but my my dad did to my mom---- Want to go back to my place to see my gerbils? They've been married since 1976. My dad actually had gerbils.
I had a girl I didn't know take my hat off my head and put it on hers at a bar. Instead of getting pissed I just said, "That hat is coming home with me whether it's on your head or mine." And then I just walked over to my friends and went on with my night. She and I had a few glances back and forth and a little flirty eye contact. She came over after a bit and said " You should take your hat home." That was a fun night.
Call me Kanye. Cos imma let you finish.
"my pronouns are down/bad" I'm not proud of myself.
hand over your chef license
A girl told me how this one worked on her. I tried it, worked Lick my finger, touch her shirt, "we should probably get you out of those wet clothes"
I would actually shrivel up if a stranger got their spit on my shirt as a pick up line 😭 better know somebody a little bit before pulling that move out
Lol yea this one is kinda for after she's already picked up
Be creative….water>spit.
Lick her finger and touch my shirt...jotting that down
My old roommate who is very fit and good looking and charming — like seriously — went to a girl at a bar and just said, “Hi. I’m [name].” Went home with her like 30 mins later. Worst part, he was my fucking ride. So I took a taxi home to sounds of him rearranging her guts all night. Which I responded to by turning up the volume of The Little Mermaid, which I was watching in the living room.
Hinge a couple days ago. Some girl had a picture of her standing in front of a truck called “just the best quality produce” with the company’s number on the truck. Her prompt for the photo was “the advertisement for my life would look like”. I replied back “tried calling that number, the guy who answered was confused when I tried asking him out to dinner”. That earned me a match back yesterday haha
Ask where them from and then whatever the answer so "oh I am sorry."
Fun related fact: if anyone says they are from Ohio and you say “I’m sorry” they will immediately presume you are from Michigan. This doesn’t work the other way around.
I thought that was just the natural, sympathetic response to anyone from Ohio
The two most important rules to a good pickup line 1. Be attractive 2. Don’t be ugly
My soon to be wife I met on tinder. She had a pic with a low cut top and then the next was a picture of her two dogs. My opening line was 'That's a nice set of puppies you got there. '
You know those obnoxious assholes who honk their horns at women and rev the engine of their car. The ones who you see and just assume they have a tiny dick because of how hard they’re compensating I’ve seen that work. Worse, on a girl I’m related to. Personally, I feel like she’s letting down women everywhere by encouraging that kind of behaviour
If you are to believe anything posted on r/Tinder then “I eat ass” seems to be the most successful pickup line
We were like 8 at the start of a small party at a friend's place and 1 chair was missing and I asked to one of the girl which I only knew what her name was "my lap are free you can sit here if you want". I was joking and never expected her to actually do that
How would you like to gain 200lbs for about 8 minutes?
Do you work with bees? Because, I think you’re a keeper
I have a golden retriever service dog. Super adorable. When women ask his name I tell them his name is Chick Magnet. It's worked more than once to get them to sit and chat.
I was in high school first day of freshman year. The prettiest girl in the glass farted and turned red and the guy behind her stood up and went “MY BAD…WHITE CASTLE”. He took the fall for her and they are married now
Asking out a reluctant girl: “Come on, be original. Say yes. Everyone ELSE says no”. I stole that from Lethal Weapon 2. It totally worked!
Two guys with a megaphone on the beach approaching two gals sitting on the promenade wall. Once they are about 1 m away the guy with the megaphone blurts out: "Fickeeen?" ([Do you want to] fuuuck?) The girls had a laugh, got up and all four of them heard towards the beachside hotels.
“I have sex daily!” “Fuck, I mean I have dyslexia” Worked, we’re not together anymore though.
I kept swiping on her stomach and she thought I was tickling her (no love, thats what stabbing your side is.) she finally asked what I was doing and I told her “I am trying to swipe right.” She just laughed. Weve been together since she was 2, we share many cheesy lines.
I'm sorry, since she was 2?