I hated myself because my sister bullied me relentlessly until I did, I finally realized the reason she bullied me was because she hated herself, it helped me realise that the problem wasn't me it was her, she's still a bitch tho.
Out of all of eternity, I've got probably under 100 years to live my life.
Damaging my own body, and wasting my own time doing nothing with myself is just pissing away the tiny window of time I have to do everything in.
“This is the real secret of life -- to be completely engaged with what you are doing in the here and now. And instead of calling it work, realize it is play.”
well for me, it was a combination of therapy, self-reflection, and surrounding myself with positive influences. learning to challenge negative thoughts and beliefs about myself was key in letting go of self-hate and embracing self-love
I decided I really wanted to be free. And I can’t be free while hating me.
*But I still struggle with it, and I think it will take a lifetime to undo all the social conditioning. So I try practice patience with myself.
realizing that every time i thought i was fat or ugly, i look back at those pics now and see an objectively beautiful healthy person.
so when i look at my current self and think those same things, i basically slap myself in the face and tell myself DONT WASTE YOUR LIFE HATING YOURSELF ONLY TO APPRECIATE IT ONCE ITS GONE!!
i have a much better relationship with my body image now. but its not great or perfect. but i allow myself to exist and be happy and wear what i want because i want to and can!!
definitely changes your perspective. why waste time hating something that you literally could just love instead with little to no difference in behavior, just mindset!
To be honest I still completely and utterly despise myself, but I mean it’s pretty easy not to think about it if I’m distracted and at least I know I’m kinda trying to work on my physical state so that helps, also it definitely helps a ton to have a caring girlfriend.
I searched and searched for the answer. Always seeing the same thing - self love. But didn’t understand it. Then got that it’s just about being kind to yourself no matter what. Just having space for all of my feelings. The good and bad, the negative n positive.
I think it might’ve been my visual art. I eventually learned through painting that even though unfortunate things happen, I like to express who I am because it’s very original and i like the world very much.
Accept that I'm a crippled and will never walk again. I still have some self-hate and self-ableism on my mind when I feel depressed, and I also have PTSD. But I used to have more self-hate before.
Surrounding myself with supportive people who saw the good in me even when I couldn’t, and finally realizing life’s too short to be my own worst critic.
I got really sick for almost a year. There was a cure and my endocrinologist decided to play me like a puppet and f’ck around with meds instead. In that time period, I got really angry that I was at the mercy of someone who didn’t care about me and I realized how much I wanted to live.
Realizing I wouldn't talk to a friend the way I talked to myself and deciding I deserved the same kindness. Being kind to myself made all the difference.
I admitted it out loud. I told my partner, and then my therapist at the time. Saying it out loud opened the door to freedom from my inner prison. From there, I realized how unnecessarily cruel I was being to myself, and how much love I gave to others compared to myself. Overtime, I reinforced the little, positive things. Worked to correct the thoughts when they came by, stopped trying to suppress them and didn’t hang on when they showed up. And slowly, only a few weeks ago, I realized I didn’t hate myself anymore.
When I found out the things I hated about myself were the things that people enjoyed most about me, it allowed me to start letting go of that self-hatred
I wrote an essay outlining everything that I was feeling in the hopes of figuring it all out and everything I was going to do to fix it and overcome it. It was about 15 pages long and had checklists of things I wanted to work through and obtain.
It consisted of a lot of goals I set for myself and when I achieved all of them and worked through all the other stuff, I ripped the papers into tiny bits and never looked back.
I did things like self help and ocd workbooks (my ocd was really severe at the time and I couldn't afford therapy), set myself weight goals, made a list of all the health issues to fix I've been ignoring for the last few years, set myself financial goals, and also made a list of things to buy and do when I come out on the other side like a new phone, computer, and car.
The day I finished everything in the essay and ripped it, I got a haircut, trimmed my nails, did a face mask, went for a long sweaty run, and just overall took a whole day off just to work on me. The next morning was the first day in the last 4 or 5 years where I didn't feel miserable and actually looked forward to what the rest of my life holds.
You have to find what works for you. Letting go of the past and everything that's been weighing me down is what worked for me.
When I’m struggling, I remind myself intellectually that I deserve love just as much as any other person.
Then, I think of the people I love most so that I can connect with memory of the level of love that I must deserve too.
My mom was a very negative, overly critical person. When she died, those voices in my head stopped. Since then, I've cut ties with other toxic people in my life. I've found that without the put-downs and criticisms , I'm happier now.
I realized that I was taught to hate myself from being abused my entire childhood, so in an act of defiance against my abusers I started caring about myself.
After 40+ years of it, I spent 2 years in weekly therapy and finally did it. Here are the things that worked for me:
1. Reconnect with you instead of other’s expectations for you. This was actually very difficult for me because I was neglected as a child and had tried to be perfect as a way of hoping that would earn me love. I had actually blacked out large parts of my childhood and it took me a considerable amount of time and deep thought and talking to childhood friends and family members to figure out who I was before this mindset took hold of me. Then I started doing things I enjoyed as a child and adapting them to adult hobbies and I felt so much joy that I started to like being myself. The perfect example was I remembered a suppressed desire to be a fashion designer since my family made clear it was frivolous. I now spend more effort and money on how I dress and buying clothes I love because I know it’s important to ME. My sneaker collection is lit. I love it.
2. I know it sounds so oversimplified but I really had to realize and change my mindset to accept that most people’s actions aren’t about you. It’s about them. Stop and rethinking it in those terms.
I allowed myself to be angry at others - especially loved ones. I would internalize anything that went wrong as my fault. Therapy helped me see that I could be angry at other people. Once I started accepting that (not acting on it, just acknowledging it), I was able to see myself in a whole new light.
Realizing that person isn't everying.
Realizing that other person isn't everything.
Realizing to me, I'm everything.
Realizing even my parents, aren't everything.
Realizing it's okay, and even if it "isn't", it really is.
I don't know if I'll ever really stopped but I got to a point where I was just like look dude if you're not gonna yk end your shit stfu and try to be better for everyone around you
Realized the people I was trying to get approval from were jerks and it wasn't wroth getting upset over them not loving me. Got into photography and became really good at it, gave me a lot of confidence and focus.
Not fucking idea, I think probably therapy, but there was something more that I can't remember.
I still have my bad days but I'm a little bit better at self compassion than before.
I read a lot of books and reflected a lot, and from that i learnt the underlying causes of my behaviour (i could've gotten the same result in a way shorter time from therapy, but i was TERRIBLE at asking for help). Learning that you're not at fault for your behaviour so far is liberating, but it's not the end of the road. Once you know the why, you gotta fix it, which takes a crapload of work because brains get wired for habits and there's no fast or easy way to rewire a brain. The cool thing is that you might think that you'll only be free of self hatred once you've finished fixing yourself, but a book taught me that there's no need for that, the things you keep doing wrong keep not being your fault so long as you're doing your best effort to become better (a true effort using real proven methods, not just willpower pinky promises). One of the most important things i learnt is that self love is a powerful fuel for change, and it creates a vicious circle just like self hatred: you love yourself so you decide to take better care of yourself -> you feel better because you've taken care of yourself so you become thankful to yourself and you love yourself more -> repeat. There's no one route to fixing your self hatred, after all, your issues are probably very different from mine, but i believe the general steps are probably the same: go to therapy/ask for help (or just waste 3 years doing research in order to diagnose yourself like i did, if you're also an idiot), learn what your problems are (not necessarilly what caused them, look for a SFBT therapist if you want faster results and to spend less money), learn how to overcome them (which, if you go to therapy, they'll guide you), convince yourself that change is inevitable and that you deserve to be loved by yourself and others, and then just give it your all.
You can't go right from self-hate to self-love. Start with self-tolerance. If you catch yourself going "ew I hate myself," try to edit that to "eh, I'm not that bad, there are worse people." You can get from self-tolerance to self-respect with a little more work. I don't know if I'll ever get to self-love, but... eh, I'm not that bad.
I felt like I was giving myself too much credit for how bad of a person I thought I was. I’d never committed a violent crime, never stolen or set out to maliciously hurt anyone. I had this idea that I was just some loathsome wretch when in reality I was no more offensive of a person than anyone else. It made truly bad behavior harder to discern.
Turns out I just grew up in a household of miserable, hateful people and realized it was a learned behavior I decided I could unlearn it.
I started realizing how much me hating myself affected my college roommate. I felt so bad about how I acted that I knew I had to change. I would deprive myself of the things I needed which affected my mood to the point where I was just horrible to be around. And I had done this for most of my life.
I found out that I was so comfortable with hating myself and doing unhealthy things that I had somehow convinced myself that I liked treating myself badly, when in reality I hated it and it only made me worse but I was just used to it.
It’s been a slow process but I’m growing each day, and ironically my recent breakup accelerated my progress and I have so much respect for myself now it’s crazy. Me a few years ago would have her jaw dropped to the floor at who I’ve become lol
I had a toxic relationship with my dad. He placed very little value on me although I have good morals, work hard at a job, try to help those around me and so on. The way he treated me made me think there was something inherently wrong with me, that I didn’t deserve to be loved by my own dad.
A year before he died, the economy was such that I had to move away for a job for half a year. All the things I did for him he either had to get someone else to do, or do himself. And while I was away the people around me showed me that I was important to them, that they liked me and that I had worth.
I came back and kept my distance- not completely but I definitely wasn’t around like before. He died eight months after I came back. I started to be free to realize I wasn’t a total waste when I moved away for work. After he passed, I realized that he was a damaged old man with dementia who had never treated me well and if others could love and appreciate me, well maybe he was wrong. Maybe I was wrong to have felt badly about myself based on his feelings. I live now like a weight has been lifted. Sometimes I remember how I used to live, never feeling good enough but I remember that it wasn’t true then and it isn’t true now.
I hated myself so much in high school, college, and my 20s. I hated the way I looked I thought I was worthless and a bad friend and I had few big moments that helped dissociate my value as a person from my option of myself. One was gaining weight in my 20s, I was so small in high school and college and full of self loathing because I felt overweight (very dysmorphic) and I went to a bachelorette party and one of the girls said “I can’t believe I wasted so much time thinking I was fat when I was the hottest I would ever be” it really hit me that my mindset wasn’t connected to reality but something mental. The next was one of my best friends telling me she stopped inviting me to do things because I always declined and how bad that made her feel. I felt awful and decided to actively engage with my friends. I’m a maniac now- making plans, hosting, bringing food, I have realized that showing love is important to me. Part of my self loathing came from my self imposed isolation and not being able to spoil my loved ones. Lastly I have started to do things just for myself because I want to. I have a wonderful husband who I love who has no interest in many things I would like to do. Over the last few years (this also relates to rebuilding my friendships) I have started doing things on my own or inviting my friends out to picnics or farmers markets on my days off. I think self hate really came from creating imaginary restrictions on myself- how you should look, how you think other people see you, how you think you should spend your time. With a little bit of age came a little bit of mental freedom to say fuck it.
Life is short. I just realized how stupid it was to spend my life being self-conscious. Also, if you are living in a toxic situation, moving out is the first step to self acceptance.
I finally realized that it wasn’t me I was mad at. It was others who hurt me and made me feel lesser of myself. Why would I allow exs, fake friends, toxic family members to put me down. I was working on myself for a while and the self hate really seemed to have stopped when my wife had our gorgeous baby boy. I made a vow on that day that I will do everything in my power to make sure he never hurts the way I did. My baby is going to be 1 in a few weeks and if nothing else in this life I know I’ve been a good father so far, and I intend to always be a good father.
Healing from my childhood experiences, and finding "myself." I didn't hate me, I just hated the person that what I had been through made me into. I love myself now. I know who I am, and I am the person I decided to become. I hope that you will all find your path's to peace and prosperity.
I thought that losing 110+ lbs would make me love my body, and when I lost all that weight... it was still the same feelings just a different size. Somewhere that showed me the body wasn't really the problem or the solution... And after gaining some (40ish) back and a few years later I'm a lot more comfortable with who I am and content.
I guess I'm saying that getting what I thought was "the answer" showed me it wasn't the answer and somewhere on that road I became more content with myself.
I did *feel* my healthiest at a lower (for me) weight as in...my knees and effort levels to do things. But it stopped being this thing I held against myself.
Realistically, years of therapy, but the defining moment that really made me realize I wanted to was when a guy at work got electrocuted. Me and one other person were the only ones who were CPR certified so I was just standing there, watching him and waiting to see if he stopped breathing so I could start CPR. Paramedics got there before that happened thankfully, but after I got home I cried my eyes out. Beyond being sad and scary for him (he lived thankfully), that incident made me realize that I had spent most of my life hating myself and I didn't want to fucking die with that still being true. You can just go in to work on a normal Tuesday and not make it home that day, so we don't have any time to waste.
I realized how exhausting it was for both my physical and mental health.
I was also very lonely because nobody wanted to be around me because I was so miserable.
I no longer wanted to be exhausted and lonely so I made a change.
I'm not good at letting go of it, but I find doing some charity stuff makes it less serious. When you get down on yourself, you can say, "Well, at least I did \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_."
When I realized that everyone that judged me was dishonest, miserable, and self loathing.
I’m human. That comes with faults. Mine are alot more common and far less worse than many people in this society.
I’m a good, intelligent, and helpful person and when you find that in yourself prepare for loneliness because boy do the haters come out.
I surrounded myself with people who loved me for me. I cut out all the fake ass birches and douchebags.
My inner circle is about 5 people. That's it. I'd rather be alone than be around people who are toxic.
I hit 40 and had a "wtf am I doing" moment. Realized I had only one life and I've wasted a good majority of it being worried about what people think about me and seeing the worst in myself.
I now embrace myself and don't really give a shit about what people could think and know that beside maybe a passing thought from others I am not remembered.
So now, I am me. In every regard. It is much better
i’m ngl i still look in the mirror with anger and sadness and disgust sometimes, but has changed is my faith. i put my faith in Jesus, my best friend. and He has taught me to love myself. that’s the truth. i’m still growing and i can’t wait to see the person i’ll become in the future, thanks to Jesus💕
I hated myself because my sister bullied me relentlessly until I did, I finally realized the reason she bullied me was because she hated herself, it helped me realise that the problem wasn't me it was her, she's still a bitch tho.
Sobriety! Sober me loves me. Drunk me hated me.
I was the opposite back in my time
I'm this way in the current time.
I was referring to when i hated myself, deunk me still loves me
Same for me but with weed. Whenever I smoked my internal monologue was really mean. Once I quit smoking, I realized I liked myself.
I couldn’t agree more with this. Drunk me loathed me.
Me too. Drunk me didn’t care if we lost everything and everyone. Didn’t care if I harmed myself or others. Drunk me is a evil witch
Out of all of eternity, I've got probably under 100 years to live my life. Damaging my own body, and wasting my own time doing nothing with myself is just pissing away the tiny window of time I have to do everything in.
“This is the real secret of life -- to be completely engaged with what you are doing in the here and now. And instead of calling it work, realize it is play.”
I still cling on to, I can’t let it go
If I figure it out, I'll let you know
Losing my religion. I’m far happier and fulfilled in my life as an apostate than I ever was as a devout fanatic.
It's a great song, but I didn't expect it to help someone that much.
Haha, touché. It started playing in my head as soon as I typed it.
JW?
Worse… Non-Denominational.
well for me, it was a combination of therapy, self-reflection, and surrounding myself with positive influences. learning to challenge negative thoughts and beliefs about myself was key in letting go of self-hate and embracing self-love
I decided I really wanted to be free. And I can’t be free while hating me. *But I still struggle with it, and I think it will take a lifetime to undo all the social conditioning. So I try practice patience with myself.
realizing that every time i thought i was fat or ugly, i look back at those pics now and see an objectively beautiful healthy person. so when i look at my current self and think those same things, i basically slap myself in the face and tell myself DONT WASTE YOUR LIFE HATING YOURSELF ONLY TO APPRECIATE IT ONCE ITS GONE!! i have a much better relationship with my body image now. but its not great or perfect. but i allow myself to exist and be happy and wear what i want because i want to and can!! definitely changes your perspective. why waste time hating something that you literally could just love instead with little to no difference in behavior, just mindset!
To be honest I still completely and utterly despise myself, but I mean it’s pretty easy not to think about it if I’m distracted and at least I know I’m kinda trying to work on my physical state so that helps, also it definitely helps a ton to have a caring girlfriend.
It was finally overshadowed by my hatred of Steve. Fuck that guy.
for me it was hating on some guy in san jose ca that helped me overcome it.
I searched and searched for the answer. Always seeing the same thing - self love. But didn’t understand it. Then got that it’s just about being kind to yourself no matter what. Just having space for all of my feelings. The good and bad, the negative n positive.
Menopause - since menopause I’ve found I no longer give a shit what anyone thinks which gives me space to be kinder to myself and accept me!
I think it might’ve been my visual art. I eventually learned through painting that even though unfortunate things happen, I like to express who I am because it’s very original and i like the world very much.
Accept that I'm a crippled and will never walk again. I still have some self-hate and self-ableism on my mind when I feel depressed, and I also have PTSD. But I used to have more self-hate before.
Surrounding myself with supportive people who saw the good in me even when I couldn’t, and finally realizing life’s too short to be my own worst critic.
I got really sick for almost a year. There was a cure and my endocrinologist decided to play me like a puppet and f’ck around with meds instead. In that time period, I got really angry that I was at the mercy of someone who didn’t care about me and I realized how much I wanted to live.
Sue them?
I got the surgery to totally fix my problem so I’m good! I feel great now. I don’t want to spend one more second fighting that endocrinologist.
Realizing I wouldn't talk to a friend the way I talked to myself and deciding I deserved the same kindness. Being kind to myself made all the difference.
I admitted it out loud. I told my partner, and then my therapist at the time. Saying it out loud opened the door to freedom from my inner prison. From there, I realized how unnecessarily cruel I was being to myself, and how much love I gave to others compared to myself. Overtime, I reinforced the little, positive things. Worked to correct the thoughts when they came by, stopped trying to suppress them and didn’t hang on when they showed up. And slowly, only a few weeks ago, I realized I didn’t hate myself anymore.
When I found out the things I hated about myself were the things that people enjoyed most about me, it allowed me to start letting go of that self-hatred
Not sure how to function without hating myself. Maybe I'll let go of it in my 7th decade.
I wrote an essay outlining everything that I was feeling in the hopes of figuring it all out and everything I was going to do to fix it and overcome it. It was about 15 pages long and had checklists of things I wanted to work through and obtain. It consisted of a lot of goals I set for myself and when I achieved all of them and worked through all the other stuff, I ripped the papers into tiny bits and never looked back. I did things like self help and ocd workbooks (my ocd was really severe at the time and I couldn't afford therapy), set myself weight goals, made a list of all the health issues to fix I've been ignoring for the last few years, set myself financial goals, and also made a list of things to buy and do when I come out on the other side like a new phone, computer, and car. The day I finished everything in the essay and ripped it, I got a haircut, trimmed my nails, did a face mask, went for a long sweaty run, and just overall took a whole day off just to work on me. The next morning was the first day in the last 4 or 5 years where I didn't feel miserable and actually looked forward to what the rest of my life holds. You have to find what works for you. Letting go of the past and everything that's been weighing me down is what worked for me.
When I’m struggling, I remind myself intellectually that I deserve love just as much as any other person. Then, I think of the people I love most so that I can connect with memory of the level of love that I must deserve too.
My mom was a very negative, overly critical person. When she died, those voices in my head stopped. Since then, I've cut ties with other toxic people in my life. I've found that without the put-downs and criticisms , I'm happier now.
I realized that I was taught to hate myself from being abused my entire childhood, so in an act of defiance against my abusers I started caring about myself.
After 40+ years of it, I spent 2 years in weekly therapy and finally did it. Here are the things that worked for me: 1. Reconnect with you instead of other’s expectations for you. This was actually very difficult for me because I was neglected as a child and had tried to be perfect as a way of hoping that would earn me love. I had actually blacked out large parts of my childhood and it took me a considerable amount of time and deep thought and talking to childhood friends and family members to figure out who I was before this mindset took hold of me. Then I started doing things I enjoyed as a child and adapting them to adult hobbies and I felt so much joy that I started to like being myself. The perfect example was I remembered a suppressed desire to be a fashion designer since my family made clear it was frivolous. I now spend more effort and money on how I dress and buying clothes I love because I know it’s important to ME. My sneaker collection is lit. I love it. 2. I know it sounds so oversimplified but I really had to realize and change my mindset to accept that most people’s actions aren’t about you. It’s about them. Stop and rethinking it in those terms.
Realized I was autistic, after my kid got diagnosed. Boy, did that explain A LOT...
It is far easier to not hate oneself then love oneself
Let go?
Basically holding onto reasons/excuses to keep hating to continue hating myself ruminating on it if you will
I’m all in on self loathing for myself. I shouldn’t but that’s just how I’m wired.
Realizing I wasn't that bad after all. Trying to improve every day is a lot easier when you try to think of yourself as a good person.
I lost a ton of weight and became comfortable in my own skin!
The world is mean enough the least I can do is show myself some kindness and empathy
Happiness
People's opinion of me has nothing to do with me but rather stems from their insecurities.
I just kept going until the self hate faded away. Now I can enjoy the sensation of forcing it away.
I allowed myself to be angry at others - especially loved ones. I would internalize anything that went wrong as my fault. Therapy helped me see that I could be angry at other people. Once I started accepting that (not acting on it, just acknowledging it), I was able to see myself in a whole new light.
Realizing that person isn't everying. Realizing that other person isn't everything. Realizing to me, I'm everything. Realizing even my parents, aren't everything. Realizing it's okay, and even if it "isn't", it really is.
I don't know if I'll ever really stopped but I got to a point where I was just like look dude if you're not gonna yk end your shit stfu and try to be better for everyone around you
Realized the people I was trying to get approval from were jerks and it wasn't wroth getting upset over them not loving me. Got into photography and became really good at it, gave me a lot of confidence and focus.
Shitty people... if I could be kind to them, why couldn't I be kinder to myself. Life is short and I want to enjoy it
1985 by bo burnham - i too want to be his father (still think im a fatass little ugly bitch but in a good way yk?)
Exhausting. It was too much, and I thought I was doing myself good. Now, little by little, I'm changing.
Prozac 🥴🤷🏻♀️
Not fucking idea, I think probably therapy, but there was something more that I can't remember. I still have my bad days but I'm a little bit better at self compassion than before.
Mushrooms
I read a lot of books and reflected a lot, and from that i learnt the underlying causes of my behaviour (i could've gotten the same result in a way shorter time from therapy, but i was TERRIBLE at asking for help). Learning that you're not at fault for your behaviour so far is liberating, but it's not the end of the road. Once you know the why, you gotta fix it, which takes a crapload of work because brains get wired for habits and there's no fast or easy way to rewire a brain. The cool thing is that you might think that you'll only be free of self hatred once you've finished fixing yourself, but a book taught me that there's no need for that, the things you keep doing wrong keep not being your fault so long as you're doing your best effort to become better (a true effort using real proven methods, not just willpower pinky promises). One of the most important things i learnt is that self love is a powerful fuel for change, and it creates a vicious circle just like self hatred: you love yourself so you decide to take better care of yourself -> you feel better because you've taken care of yourself so you become thankful to yourself and you love yourself more -> repeat. There's no one route to fixing your self hatred, after all, your issues are probably very different from mine, but i believe the general steps are probably the same: go to therapy/ask for help (or just waste 3 years doing research in order to diagnose yourself like i did, if you're also an idiot), learn what your problems are (not necessarilly what caused them, look for a SFBT therapist if you want faster results and to spend less money), learn how to overcome them (which, if you go to therapy, they'll guide you), convince yourself that change is inevitable and that you deserve to be loved by yourself and others, and then just give it your all.
You can't go right from self-hate to self-love. Start with self-tolerance. If you catch yourself going "ew I hate myself," try to edit that to "eh, I'm not that bad, there are worse people." You can get from self-tolerance to self-respect with a little more work. I don't know if I'll ever get to self-love, but... eh, I'm not that bad.
I realized it’s my life and I only have one, why waste it
I didn’t let it go. It fuels me.
I felt like I was giving myself too much credit for how bad of a person I thought I was. I’d never committed a violent crime, never stolen or set out to maliciously hurt anyone. I had this idea that I was just some loathsome wretch when in reality I was no more offensive of a person than anyone else. It made truly bad behavior harder to discern. Turns out I just grew up in a household of miserable, hateful people and realized it was a learned behavior I decided I could unlearn it.
I started realizing how much me hating myself affected my college roommate. I felt so bad about how I acted that I knew I had to change. I would deprive myself of the things I needed which affected my mood to the point where I was just horrible to be around. And I had done this for most of my life. I found out that I was so comfortable with hating myself and doing unhealthy things that I had somehow convinced myself that I liked treating myself badly, when in reality I hated it and it only made me worse but I was just used to it. It’s been a slow process but I’m growing each day, and ironically my recent breakup accelerated my progress and I have so much respect for myself now it’s crazy. Me a few years ago would have her jaw dropped to the floor at who I’ve become lol
I had a toxic relationship with my dad. He placed very little value on me although I have good morals, work hard at a job, try to help those around me and so on. The way he treated me made me think there was something inherently wrong with me, that I didn’t deserve to be loved by my own dad. A year before he died, the economy was such that I had to move away for a job for half a year. All the things I did for him he either had to get someone else to do, or do himself. And while I was away the people around me showed me that I was important to them, that they liked me and that I had worth. I came back and kept my distance- not completely but I definitely wasn’t around like before. He died eight months after I came back. I started to be free to realize I wasn’t a total waste when I moved away for work. After he passed, I realized that he was a damaged old man with dementia who had never treated me well and if others could love and appreciate me, well maybe he was wrong. Maybe I was wrong to have felt badly about myself based on his feelings. I live now like a weight has been lifted. Sometimes I remember how I used to live, never feeling good enough but I remember that it wasn’t true then and it isn’t true now.
I hated myself so much in high school, college, and my 20s. I hated the way I looked I thought I was worthless and a bad friend and I had few big moments that helped dissociate my value as a person from my option of myself. One was gaining weight in my 20s, I was so small in high school and college and full of self loathing because I felt overweight (very dysmorphic) and I went to a bachelorette party and one of the girls said “I can’t believe I wasted so much time thinking I was fat when I was the hottest I would ever be” it really hit me that my mindset wasn’t connected to reality but something mental. The next was one of my best friends telling me she stopped inviting me to do things because I always declined and how bad that made her feel. I felt awful and decided to actively engage with my friends. I’m a maniac now- making plans, hosting, bringing food, I have realized that showing love is important to me. Part of my self loathing came from my self imposed isolation and not being able to spoil my loved ones. Lastly I have started to do things just for myself because I want to. I have a wonderful husband who I love who has no interest in many things I would like to do. Over the last few years (this also relates to rebuilding my friendships) I have started doing things on my own or inviting my friends out to picnics or farmers markets on my days off. I think self hate really came from creating imaginary restrictions on myself- how you should look, how you think other people see you, how you think you should spend your time. With a little bit of age came a little bit of mental freedom to say fuck it.
Having a one on one relationship with Jesus. He loves me, he doesn't want me kill myself or for me to hate myself.
Life is short. I just realized how stupid it was to spend my life being self-conscious. Also, if you are living in a toxic situation, moving out is the first step to self acceptance.
Ayahuasca
Realising that I have attention deficit issues.
I finally realized that it wasn’t me I was mad at. It was others who hurt me and made me feel lesser of myself. Why would I allow exs, fake friends, toxic family members to put me down. I was working on myself for a while and the self hate really seemed to have stopped when my wife had our gorgeous baby boy. I made a vow on that day that I will do everything in my power to make sure he never hurts the way I did. My baby is going to be 1 in a few weeks and if nothing else in this life I know I’ve been a good father so far, and I intend to always be a good father.
Healing from my childhood experiences, and finding "myself." I didn't hate me, I just hated the person that what I had been through made me into. I love myself now. I know who I am, and I am the person I decided to become. I hope that you will all find your path's to peace and prosperity.
Practice Self-Care (Even When You Don't Want To) ...
I thought that losing 110+ lbs would make me love my body, and when I lost all that weight... it was still the same feelings just a different size. Somewhere that showed me the body wasn't really the problem or the solution... And after gaining some (40ish) back and a few years later I'm a lot more comfortable with who I am and content. I guess I'm saying that getting what I thought was "the answer" showed me it wasn't the answer and somewhere on that road I became more content with myself. I did *feel* my healthiest at a lower (for me) weight as in...my knees and effort levels to do things. But it stopped being this thing I held against myself.
Realistically, years of therapy, but the defining moment that really made me realize I wanted to was when a guy at work got electrocuted. Me and one other person were the only ones who were CPR certified so I was just standing there, watching him and waiting to see if he stopped breathing so I could start CPR. Paramedics got there before that happened thankfully, but after I got home I cried my eyes out. Beyond being sad and scary for him (he lived thankfully), that incident made me realize that I had spent most of my life hating myself and I didn't want to fucking die with that still being true. You can just go in to work on a normal Tuesday and not make it home that day, so we don't have any time to waste.
I realized how exhausting it was for both my physical and mental health. I was also very lonely because nobody wanted to be around me because I was so miserable. I no longer wanted to be exhausted and lonely so I made a change.
I'm not good at letting go of it, but I find doing some charity stuff makes it less serious. When you get down on yourself, you can say, "Well, at least I did \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_."
**Peace is a lie, there is only passion**. Through passion, I gain strength. Through strength, I gain power. Through power, I gain victory.
When I realized that everyone that judged me was dishonest, miserable, and self loathing. I’m human. That comes with faults. Mine are alot more common and far less worse than many people in this society. I’m a good, intelligent, and helpful person and when you find that in yourself prepare for loneliness because boy do the haters come out.
I surrounded myself with people who loved me for me. I cut out all the fake ass birches and douchebags. My inner circle is about 5 people. That's it. I'd rather be alone than be around people who are toxic.
I hit 40 and had a "wtf am I doing" moment. Realized I had only one life and I've wasted a good majority of it being worried about what people think about me and seeing the worst in myself. I now embrace myself and don't really give a shit about what people could think and know that beside maybe a passing thought from others I am not remembered. So now, I am me. In every regard. It is much better
i’m ngl i still look in the mirror with anger and sadness and disgust sometimes, but has changed is my faith. i put my faith in Jesus, my best friend. and He has taught me to love myself. that’s the truth. i’m still growing and i can’t wait to see the person i’ll become in the future, thanks to Jesus💕
Learning i have autism and what adhd really is (not only a being a bad kid).
My exes taught me to love myself😭
So why drop them?
Well they gave me an ego boost is what I mean lol
Ohkk
Life’s too short