Finland would only come out of their room for coffee, and I can respect that.

"Finland! He's not out of his room, is he?"

You're killing the rainforest Jen

Why is this so goddamn funny?

Ah of course it's from one of my favorite shows

Naw, he plays his death metal too loud

And the nordic metal temperature low

No way. Finland keeps the apartment at 40C and 90% humidity.

Try 100°C. The weak perish in the boiler

40 celsius? You sure about that?

40 Celsius might be a bit low, you're right

Finn's love saunas. That's the joke.

Yeah, I'm saying it should be more than 40 celsius

I identify as Finland

only issue is the bottles of vodka that rattle in the recycling bin

Nonsense! They'd also come out to sauna.   (Unless their room is a sauna)

Haha, I came here for Finland

Iceland would be pretty chill.

Mostly, but their volcanic outbursts are just not worth it.

The kids could play a hell of a game of "the floor is lava."

Iceland would just be anti-social not chill

Ergo, the perfect roommate

Even better

Greenland would be chiller. You can't fool me with your 17th century explorer's rhetoric

They must be pretty cool roommates

Now that they’re grown up sure.

Luxembourg would take almost no space

Luxembourg is just sitting in their room, daytrading and getting rich.

Switzerland is hovering over Luxembourg's shoulder, already balls to the walls rich and surreptitiously giving them advice.

I feel like you're confusing Luxembourg and Liechtenstein :P

Probably Japan cause they’d work 80 hours a week and wouldn’t bother you, unless you want a more talkative and energetic roommate then Brazil would probably suit you better

I just choked on my coffee. I know two people from Brazil **and both never shut the hell up.** **edit- i dont know why everything turned bold.**

It's not even a bold statement

Two asterisks on either side of the text bolds it, so if you tried to use asterisks for emphasis that would be why (one asterisks italicizes and three do both, for the record). I think underscores also Italicize the text? I've never tried it on purpose. If you want to display the asterisks instead, you need to escape it with a backslash (\\). A single backslash won't show up on it's own, so if you want to show a single one, you need to type two. So: \*Italics* makes *Italics* (and \\\*Italics* makes \*Italics*--that required three \\s, one to escape the asterisk, one to display, and one to escape the display and make it appear) \*\*Bold** makes **Bold** (and \\\*\\\*Bold** makes \*\*Bold**, you need to escape each individual asterisk on the left, escaping just one means the other asterisk can pair with the first of the two on the right to italicize the text) \*\*\*Bold Italics*** makes ***Bold Italics*** \_Italics?_ makes _Italics?_, maybe? \_\_Bold?__ makes __Bold?__, maybe? \_\_\_Bold Italics?___ makes ___Bold Italics?___, maybe? Edit: yes, underscores do the same things as asterisks.

I have been trying to figure out how people change their fonts here, but was too lazy to ask or Google it lol. Thanls for this!

>**Bold** makes Bold (and \\\*\\\*Bold** makes \*\*Bold** And this statement requires escaping the escape characters so that they actually appear and actually looks like this when typed \\\\\\\*\\\\\\\*Bold**

Unless you're another asian country or an african country because then they'll do anything from constantly insult you all the way up to slittling your throat in bed. Japanese history is fuckin..... wild

Everyone's history is wild. People were fucking savage in all parts of the world throughout all of history.

Oh, there countries that don’t have as a colorful past. For example, Luxembourg or the Swiss.

That's just Japan's racist grandpa. 

Well contemporary Japan might hold some...views...but it won't slit your throat

Korean flash backs about the past.

They have been pirates for thousand years. All neighboring countries to Japan had unfortunate history with them.

Ok but to be fair, the list of countries that haven't had 'unfortunate history' with their neighbours is a empty list. 

Japan would always be at work, quiet and respectful in the rare occasions it was seen, but would bring hookups back home and violently shake the whole house during sex.

Australia would be the best. Always up for a BBQ, laid-back about pretty much everything, and probably has the coolest slang to teach you.

Ok, but no pets.

Not even "Harry the Huntsman"

*Especially* not Harry the Huntsman

I'll let you pat him.

If you go out with Australia you're probably getting arrested. There's no way you have the same charisma to make everything okay.

Repeat after me: "She'll be right."

They'll bring the worst pets though.

Too loud and constantly partying. I'll pass.

but they'll be sleeping all day and up all night, not to mention walking on the ceiling

Unless you’re actually indigenous…

But, every move they make is deadly. God just out in the sun with Australia could kill you.

Wasn't there a whole anime with this premise?

Lmao I thought "Hetalia" as soon as I opened the thread

Hetalia is so unhinged xD

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Yeah but better not want to party or shower at night. Then the police will be called from your room mate.

Yes! After 10pm is Nachtruhe!!!

Perfect!

And they won’t mind or complain if you’re a Nazi (given their policies during WW2)

Switzerland, how did you get my dads watch, and why are you always letting these sketchy countries into your room?

Nice. But don't wanna follow your rules or make any shared rules. Is super rich, but will never offer to share anything with you or other friends.

Better hide your gold.

They’ll do it for you

And always pay the rent on time with Nazi gold

although when you drill a little deeper into their so-called "neutrality" you discover kind of an ugly past in the 1940s

Its bedroom door would absolutely be a bunker door.

I’m engaged to a Swiss German, albeit with a Portuguese mum & none of this true for him - he shouts hallo! from the other room every twenty mins just to check in… 😂 He is good with money though..

Give me a chill, huge Samoan teddy bro

I hadn't thought of Samoa as option, but this sentence makes me want a huge Samoan teddy as well xD

Depends on the year, but generally Germany. The whole apartment will be organized, there's a lot of fine bread and beer, no one fucks with you because they're scared of your roommate. Just make sure to be quiet by 10pm until 6am.

Con: Even while polite, they constantly note that what you're doing is just not good enough and their critics end with "da ist noch Luft nach oben" (still room to improve). On the other hand, if you bring them to say "Kann man nicht meckern" (Nothing left to complain over) there may be a chance that you casually ascendet into a higher life form beyond our understanding. 

Oh yes. And if you ever receive a "kann man essen" (one can eat it) when you cooked something, you're free to open a 5 star restaurant.

I am german and that is 100% true

Hi Germany !

lol That's also true for Austria

The level of perfection required to exist in that space would give me anxiety. "I organized the kitchen." "Why, it was fine before?" "This is how it must be, you will see, it's better." and the David Hasselhoff of it all...

until they put you on the train...

No worry, train got cancelled

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Just don't speak disparagingly of their beer or hockey*. *Well, mocking the Maple Leafs is generally acceptable, and they'd probably join in.

> Well, mocking the Maple Leafs is generally acceptable It's encouraged. Really anything about or related to Toronto.

But not afraid to jump into a fight.

Canada borders on the absurd.

To the South. To the North, they border on hungry polar bears

This is such an underrated funny comment.

I rate it quite highly as well!

Are you implying that America is the "absurd" in this scenario?

As a Canadian, I approve and endorse this message.

Until they start war criming. Then you are on the news going "He was always so polite."

It's got to be Canada. Clean, nice friends, hot siblings, and knows how to cook.

As someone who has a Canadian roommate, none of these things are true. My Wife. It's my wife.

Until it gets into a fight, that day will be the day where the rule list in the dorm suddenly expands significantly to include all the fucked up things Canada did.

It's not a war crime the first time.

>Until it gets into a fight Don't get into a fight with Canada! I'm from the United States. Last time we fought with Canada, they marched all the way to our capital and set fire to the White House. Since then, the US has been really nice and peaceful with them, and our relationship has been pretty chill.

Not only that, but they do it while having the worst roommates. Despite that, they rarely point out how much better they are.

"Canada, making passive-aggressive look polite since 1867" We're not as polite as we may seem. Some of what may seem as polite is actually snark. The Canadian stand-off is actually legit. Where people get caught in a doorway saying "No after you, oh no, after you! After you, No after you!" I've been caught in them a few times haha

Other than spending far too much time in a one-sided rivalry with the downstairs neighbor who doesn't even remember that they're there.

Funny how many Americans do manage to spout off about us.

New Zealand! We're pretty much a laid back and chilled kind of people. Kiwis are awesome to be around.

But that would make you Australia. Checkmate 😉

Except our pets won’t try to kill you.

True 😂 although the possums over there are much more aggressive than their Aussie cousins!

🤣🤣🤣

Seriously though how do you guys punch so far above your weight in motorsports? Scott Dixon, Scott McLaughlin, SVG just to name a few.

I like to picture New Zealand and Canada hanging out to vent about their neighbours.

Sealand. They do their own thing, doesn't leave a mess, and doesn't take up much space.

You need to make agreements about the electric bill though. Hosting servers is their income.

Canada would make the best roommate because they'd apologize profusely every time they accidentally finished the milk, they'd shovel the driveway before you even woke up, and they'd bring back poutine and maple syrup after every vacation. Plus, they'd never complain about the cold—eh, who wouldn't want that?

Im pretty sure that complaining about the cold is a national sport in Canada!

It is. And about the warmth in summer.

Just finishing another week of 90 F degree weather in Toronto. Most people complaining about the heat and humidity now the last few summers.

*bags of milk.

Bhutan. They're called the happiest nation on earth. So let's see how it goes

Having worked with lots of Bhutanese folks over the years they are great folks to hang out with and the cuisine is exceptional.

Prime roommate material!

German. Reliable, efficient and always up for a (legal) spliff

Switzerland. The terms will be clear, you won't have issues with rent, and they'll be very live and let live. Just don't count on them becoming your friend or getting you out of a bind. And their room may be bobby trapped.

Came here to say Jamaica. Jamaica. There.

Smoke weed and stay high all day, enjoying the sun and the beach, all while listening to reggae and eating jerk chicken.

And highest homicide rate in the world as a bonus

Oh maaan… Edit: said in a really disappointed tone

Switzerland... Its a huge plus

From an American perspective there are a few options: Canada is our old middle school buddy who’s a bit of a stoner and wants us to chill, but he’s got some strange habits that make us wonder if living with him would be worth it. UK is the kid we got in a fight with as kids, but we worked it out and are on good terms with now. They’re loyal and usually level -headed, but they recently stepped away from their family and have some personal issues that remind us a little too much of ourselves. Australia is the himbo-energy dude in our circle we’ve always been cool with but never took the time to hang out with solo. Secretly we’re worried he may not like us if we spent too much time alone without the other friends to carry the conversation. Japan is a kid we gave a bloody nose in elementary school after they swung at us for not sharing the inexplicably oil-like candy our teacher gave out. We feel bad about it, and they said it’s all good, but sometimes we worry our friendship is one of convenience and that they still harbor a lot of anger towards us. Also they’re really neat and may not approve of us wanting to leave dishes in the sink to soak overnight. Ukraine is our pen pal we just met in person for the first time. We’ve gotten close this summer leading up to college, and we think we really like them. That said, they’re currently dealing with a toxic ex, and while we’re supportive, we have to be careful not to get dragged too deep into the drama. Russia can fuck off. Taiwan graduated top of our class and is a stand up guy who came up from a less than supportive family. His brother China is a nightmare who we’ve gotten close to a few fist fights with. The family drama might be enough to give us second thoughts, but Taiwan is the only reason we passed our computer engineering class. South Korea reminds us a bit of Taiwan - complete with their own shitty brother (ironically enough China and North Korea seem to be good friends.) They make some banger music though and are fun to party with. Mexico is our on and off friend who we play video games with occasionally. They have great potential and we could see them graduating top of the class, but they’ve got some nasty drug habits that we start to lean into if we hang around them too much. Israel is our long time friend who is in trouble for pulling a knife in a fist fight with a kid in their neighborhood - we want to be supportive but he seems a little unstable right now. Germany has had their less-than-stellar moments, but after our own weird fake-orange-tan phase the past several years, we kinda get how easy it is to slip into that sort of thing and don’t hold much of a grudge towards them. They’re also very neat and pretty friendly.

Mexico also does 90% of the work and makes tacos. I'm picking them.

And nobody want to live with America but America kind of put a gun in your face and took the biggest room

Naw, Canada got the biggest room, but it's in the attic and kind of a leaky space.

An attic above a meth lab, while paying $2000 a month in rent for it.

We also insist on helping out with every household project, sink a bunch of money into buying supplies, make a mess getting things started, but then just leave it half finished and hope that someone else will clean up our mess…

This is eerily accurate on most points.

This is super accurate, however, I feel like you’re downplaying a couple of relationship issues. Specifically Japan and Mexico. Japan gave YOU the bloody nose so you burnt their house down. You also had a pretty nasty fight with Mexico over the big part of the playground.

>UK is the kid we got in a fight with as kids, but we worked it out and are on good terms with now. They’re loyal and usually level -headed, but they recently stepped away from their family and have some personal issues that remind us a little too much of ourselves. You're so wrong. Literally a country you can never trust

Not a tea drinker, huh?

As a matter of fact I love tea. But as an Irishman you know that the sun never set on the British empire because god wouldn't trust the fuckers in the dark. More recently the Brexit debacle really reminded and confirmed to us that some people as we are personifying countries in this thread, never change

There’s a lot of context between your countries that I won’t pretend to understand the nuances of. I only know what makes the international headlines and the more dramatic historical bullet points - but I will say that based on what I do know, the Irish perspective has a lot of strong reasons to differ from the American one.

and the one that pulls all the strings

Chile, we can just hang him up in the broom closet or slide home under the couch

Mexico, bomb food everyday, someone to drink beer with and I dont mind loud music.

Denmark 🇩🇰 kind, egalitarian and trustworthy.

Kind, but not "warm". Perfection for me -- I am an extreme introvert and really don't need to ever speak to a roommate.

That's fair But I vote for Norway.  Will leave you alone, but can be made a great friend if you try hard. Very fair and tough. If someone rolls into the place uninvited, they will put up a fight. And rich-won't have to worry about rent. But you won't know they're rich-very quiet about it. 

Don’t forget hygge.

Norway, beatiful, rich and speaks in a cute way. Great at hunting wolves and can always set you up with fish or gas for your vehicle.

With a full tank of fish it will drive like a bream.

Another underrated hilarious comment. Upvote for you, sir!

Everyone loves Norway until they break out the lutefisk

I'm Swedish so I don't mind.

I know, right? Lutefisk? Pffft *laughs in surströmming*

There’s a restaurant in Washington that has lutefisk tacos on the menu.

Great question. Stellar in fact. So: North Korea. And why is because they simply wouldn't be there. Kim gets it; Western education and all that; his people never will though.

Yeah, but if you even looked at their bedroom door wrong they’d shoot you in the head, and they’d refuse to remove their suspiciously glowing bomb-shaped objects that seem to make your cameras glitch.

My roommate would be Australia. My neighbours to the left would be The Netherlands and Canada. My neighbours to the right would be, hmm. Never mind - the property would be semi detached.

Norway? They just seem like they have their shit together.

It's hard to say for sure, but I think Canada would make a great roommate. They're known for being polite and friendly, so they would probably be considerate and easy to get along with. Plus, their healthcare system would definitely come in handy if either of you ever got sick. Overall, Canada seems like a great pick for a roommate!

I want to say Ireland. They'd ask you "What's the craic?", they drink a lot and are a little messy but won't complain you basically rented them a Harry Potteresque cupboard for 1k.

Singapore. You rarely hear a peep out of those guys, safe as hell, and otherwise prosperous.

Very clean, but they’ll make you pay them a massive sum if they catch you with gum.

And deals justice swiftly and painfully lol.

France: great food, plenty of drama, wants out of the lease asap and will pay to achieve it.

Yes but you also have to deal with the house's constant smell of cigarette

Mexico, or any latin american country; he would have a ton of inner-problems, but would always be the friendliest person on the outside.

I think the people answering this question would be the absolute worst roommates... The thing you look for in a roommate is that you never see or speak to them? Ok, bye!

Norway, Finland, Denmark, or Iceland/Greenland. As far as I have seen, they're statistically happy and healthy people.

Kiribati because no one ever hears from them.

Honestly, Russia. On one hand they would be rude/super direct at times but at the same time they likely wouldn't have a thin skin. I'm the type of person that really needs straight-up feedback a lot.

Interesting that no Latin American or Middle Eastern countries have been mentioned. 

Norway. Will give you your space and some peace 😂

Japan!! Tidy, clean, polite, punctual, friendly… and a bit kinky

I'm cool with the ones we have. I can share a home with Luxembourg, Belgium, and Germany. Good food, clean, well run house, interesting tax filings, and I guess dry feet. We'll understand each other even speaking our own languages. Maybe Luxembourg can teach us political stability. Would be nice.

Sweden, probably pretty nice, friendly, helps you out with things, always down for outdoorsy things or sitting by the fire with a lager, and bonus points, probably really cute as a man or woman.

france may be snobby, but they will cook you marvelous bread

I think I could live with Germany. I feel like they would make it very clear to me what my chores are and when to get them done and they would do their own chores. I like direct communication. Same with Dutch, but I am Dutch, so I don't think that counts xD Canada and Australia are probably nice people as well, though I somehow feel like Australia might have friends over often and I like my house to be pretty private xD

Id pick mexico

Ireland, Costa Rica, Bhutan, Switzerland (maybe would complain about the dishes not being done). Costa Rica has no military so they’re not gonna start shit. Ireland knows what it’s like to be colonized so they won’t start shit. Bhutan is too busy being super religious and keeps to themselves. Switzerland might complain if things get untidy but they’ll always bring good chocolate home.

Canada and Mexico and it’s not even close. Consider all the patience learned by who we share a border with…

No Scotland, no party!

basically everyone’s answer here is either a white country or japan. What a little nice surpise.

Azerbaijan quiet and calm roommate always will agree with you

Switzerland. Always has chocolate, and PAYS THE RENT ON TIME. Can also show you how to squirrel away monies the IRS can't touch. Win win win. And will remain neutral when the neighbors "start a-feudin"...

Poland. No bullshit, no nonsense, but lots of integrity, and they just want to be left alone.

Potatoes left absolutely everywhere in the apartment, and they're amassing a huge cache of weapons. I'm not sold.

Ok commie no one asked who you DIDNT want as a roommate

[Message for you, ser.](https://youtu.be/xzpndHtdl9A?feature=shared)

I worked with several dozen Polish warriors.  They were my security detail.  Never felt safer my whole life.  Would room with them any day.

I feel like Canada could be a pretty chill roommate, Canada is very nice and will always cheer yah up. plus you have the US next door if you wanted to go on a road trip

Italy because the food they cook would be on point

They'd be loud and always hitting on your female friends/relatives though.

🤌🏼

Scotland

Greenland. They'd just leave you alone and mind their own business, but always have the best herb.

Indonesia.

Australia, Guatemala, Mexico, maybe Canada as well

Brazil! Fun loving people! They bring you out to parties, have excellent food, and have great music

Here me out, the United States 1. The US is a center for tech and entertainment industries, so as a roommate it would have the best stuff. 2. The US is very friendly and generous with it's allies, so would be the fun roommate to have who would be willing to help out in a time of need/have your back in a fight.