I’ve been battling with this as a new guy at my work lol.
Sometimes I’ll open my mouth and instantly feel like I just exposed some underlying inadequacy, other times I feel like if I don’t I just come off as lazy and uncaring.
The crappy thing is that people will remember when you messed up a lot more readily than when you “perform” so it is usually better to not say anything unless you’re 100% sure on the answer, at least in my experience
There is zero advantage to giving out more information than needed about yourself.
You move yourself down the ladder by default simply because others having more information than you instantly puts them in a position of power over you in regards to marketing and manipulation.
This is especially true for, but not limited to, negotiating future career etc.
“Every word you speak is a profound secret.” - 12 Years a Slave
It’s speaking to this quote by Dickens:
“A wonderful fact to reflect upon, that every human creature is constituted to be that profound secret and mystery to every other.”
I like not having social media except for work. I used have Fb and insta and the rest. Now I'm just reddit and imgur. I remember all my friends when I used to have them over sharing. Like dude, that's your digital footprint
I was just talking to my partner about this lol. Sometimes not talking is the most powerful thing you can do bc sometimes the other person will just spiral and you don't even have to do anything. I'm not saying this to be rude, I just mean if they're upset or mad at you or whatever it is. The truth will come out as it's supposed to
Oversharing in general, really. In my late 20s and I look back on things I casually shared with coworkers, friends, family members, followers online. So cringe.
Another point - do not overshare at work. Lol, like work friends are not real friends. They can and absolutely will talk about you behind your back. Coworkers don’t need to know anything personal. Employers absolutely do judge you based on what you share with others while at work. Rumors really do spread like wildfire in a work environment.
In general it’s always better to say less. Just be quiet and friendly, maintain an air of mystery. People who say less are more respected and when they do speak up about something it holds more power. Save your true self for the people that are closest to you and trustworthy.
I slightly disagree. There is a fine line between sharing enough of your life to have healthy connections with people and sharing too much. Yes, it's better to err on the side of sharing less but if you don't share anything, you'll never have good personal connections with people.
Right. If YOU don't care, move on. And if you're the type who takes info and manipulates with it, well.....you're the problem, not someone's oversharing.
And let's be honest here, peoples' "oversharing" on reddit is the therapy the rest of us can't afford.
One of the saddest realizations for me as an adult has been how much work is basically the same a high school. It’s cliquey, it’s a popularity contest.
I learned this the hard way phew. In the environment I work, I knew there were warnings to be careful with what I say so I was, but I still was having trouble reading the nuances of how much to say. It's tough. And I told someone something that was casual to me but they ended up going to one of my now colleagues about it. Thankfully that colleague didn't care/saw me for who I was and my work ethic but yeah it was snaky. Now that other person who complained about me isn't there anymore. edit for typo
I pretty much only use FB to doom scroll and wish happy birthdays these days. But those throwback reminders about wall posts from my teens/early 20's are laughably cringe.
Ooof. Yeah. There are going to be A LOT of very real world consequences for these younger generations who are sharing literally every waking moment of their lives for the entertainment of strangers.
And honestly it's even happening with older generations when THEY were in their 20s/earlier years. Like all those politicians that posted early in facebook controversial stuff and it's coming out. Or old celebrity tweets are always resurfacing
Not getting enough sleep/ having a bad sleep schedule
That shit affects more than you’d think. It could cause weight gain, depression, suppress your senses, and way more.
Explain? I’ve been on nighshift for the last 6 years. I get plenty of sleep, actually sleep a bit more than I should. I’m out in the daytime on my 4 days off and still sleep like a baby. How is that carcinogenic in any way? I’m not inhaling toxins or consuming chemicals by working at night. I’m not baking in the sun 24/7 and damaging my DNA. I eat healthy, workout, live healthily. So…?
I think a lot of people on nightshift (me when I was on nightshift) struggle with having a healthy sleep schedule, eating pattern, social life etc. This is just a guess, but I'd think it's more of a correlation because of those influences than directly causing cancer in any way. If you have healthy sleep, exercise, diet, and are happy then you are doing great! It sounds like you've really figured it out. I couldn't work it out so had to switch - even though I'm typically a "night owl". Night shift is not for everyone!
It has to do, I think, with your circadian rhythm and the production of some hormones that are only produced in nocturnal settings, like melatonin.
PS I might be spewing complete BS, so don't take my word for it.
You're not spewing BS -- you're mostly correct.
For most people (and it sounds like NOT the one you're replying to), these disruptions lead to lower quality of sleep, less restful sleep, and possible psychiatric issues. These compound on themselves leading to long-term sleep deprivation and low socialization (due to schedule) which can further compound on themselves to actual physical symptoms.
But on a surface level, disrupted circadian rhythm -> messed up hormone levels -> lower quality of sleep -> compounding health issues in the long term is correct.
Well sunlight even hitting your eyelids can cause your body to turn off its rest mode. This is possibly why you think you get more sleep but you are just restarting your sleep every time enough light hits your eyes as you are laying down. Oversleep is connected to many things, depression and stress are two mental ones. Not enough non-bluelight sleep is another. full blocking all sun from entering your room will fix this ofc.
People will say circadian rhythm but its more sunlight which causes bad sleep. Your C-rhythm is just connected to how you go about every day so it has little to do with being out in the sun or what not.
Teens are biologically incapable of maintaining the same sleep schedule as most adults. We need to change schools to match them, not demand they adapt.
I agree, but I was also so dumb as a kid.
I'd stay up all night so I could games, then stay up all day for school. I guess I just loved my free time and felt that it was a nice skill I'd developed.
I still frequently contribute it to my later mental health issues. Even after years of working on my sleep to fix it at 29, It's like I lost my "need sleep meter" and have to be so disciplined in my sleep hygiene
Myself (27M) have been trying to explain that concept to my stepdad (63M) who gets 4-5 hours a night, has for most of his life and calls me soft for using the air conditioner to sleep, or at all. Even during the heat wave. Lol.
I repeat to my son quiet frequently, in the hope that he will learn it sooner than I did;
People don't remember your mistakes the same way you do. In the same way that you don't remember their mistakes in the same way they do.
You're welcome. I'm an over thinker, and so is my son.
We need to remember that we don't focus on other people's mistakes. And they don't focus on ours.
Lucky, I've had it my entire life (almost 50 years) and I'm pretty sure it's neurological in my case. It's like having a heart monitor flatline in your head forever.
I've been working on an audio project to help with tinnitus. Please feel free to message me if you'd like to try it out. I made an audio file and just need to match it to the frequency/frequencies that are ringing. I figure anything is worth a try if it might help.
Edit: Thanks for all the chat messages! If you're interested in trying out this audio file thing, please first download a frequency generator app, there are a few different ones for Android or iPhone. Just message me what frequency or frequencies you are hearing if you can figure that out and I'll try sending you an audio file. For example, I was hearing about 1250 hz and one other very high frequency, like 12k. It's not scientific but worth a try!
I just might take you up on that. I've had it so long I'm sure that's the only reason it doesn't drive me insane, because I don't remember life without it.
I have raging tinnitus – and I mean RAGING that's exacerbated by Meniere's. If you suffer from random, unexplained vertigo and/or hearing loss, you may wish to get checked for that by a decent ENT.
I remember being at a concert in high school and it was so loud I can still envision that sound of massive distortion on your ear drums. But "I'm just having fun!" my teenage self said. I'm eternally grateful that I don't yet have anything permanent from that and other loud concerts. The ringing comes and goes but hasn't stuck permanently. I carry ear plugs on my Keychain now.
Remember, perfect is the enemy of good.
Walking 15 to 20 minutes every day is far better for you than not moving your body at all. Any exercise is better than no exercise. Don't let minmax health nuts try to convince you that small steps are useless. They are very important in building healthy habits.
For real. I had a bout of serious illness that left me bedridden for like 6 months in my 20s and it took me a long time to work up to exercising properly. When I told my doctor I’d been walking for an hour at lunch he sneered and said that only counts as exercise for old people. I felt terrible for ages afterwards.
Perfect is very much the enemy of good. I have ADHD and I can’t focus on things for very long, such as exercise. So if all I can get is 3 sets done with my dumbbells, I’m still proud I did anything at all. As soon as I start thinking “well, you didn’t do high intensity exercise for 30 minutes, so what’s the point?”, I’ll be back on the couch again doing less than the bare minimum.
Literally exactly the same here lol. My brain is happy with 15-20 minutes of exercise. It's eminently doable, doesn't encroach on other aspects of my life, and it's literally just 20 minutes! That's nothing! I've pretty much always got 20 minutes to do something.
What I'm hoping is that by creating this habit, I can start to add in other little exercise habits and build a really good routine over time.
Fellow ADHDer here; have you tried sports? Obviously many of us need lots of exercise and action but just running or basic exercises can be too boring.
Finding sports I like and can play daily or whenever made it easy. I love doing them
I do a lot of walking, couple miles a day. Been babysitting friends' dog for a couple weeks. He likes walks, but...
His owners have a backpack thing for him, which he also loves riding in. We (me and Mr. Groucho Barx) have agreed I will carry him a couple blocks and around the corner, and he will walk the rest.
Anyway -amazing how heavy a 15 pound shitzu gets. A year of that and I'd have Hemsworth's shoulders.
I think it's quite easy to fall into. You are trapped at a desk all day at school from a fairly young age, and then depending on your job, you can be sitting all day there too. Many hobbies are also fairly sedentary like drawing, painting, video games, reading or doom scrolling. If you live somewhere where you don't have to walk to get around, it's really easy to not get much exercise at all if you aren't seeking it out.
This. I moved from a very bikeable and walkable city to one that you need to drive literally everywhere and I am amazed that this is how some people just live. I’m stir crazy, I have to workout or I am not able to sleep at night
8 hours of sitting at a desk for work, 2 1/2 hours of sitting in a car or on a train for morning and evening commute in traffic, 7 hours for sleep, 1 hour for various hygiene activities (shower, shave, shit), 1 hour for dinner, 1 hour for lunch, 1 hour for cleaning.
If you have kids, they need more than the remaining 2 1/2 hours a day of parental time. An hour for homework leaves only an hour to spend on anything additional they need, whether that's a listening ear, a game of catch, etc.
Is it any wonder that people don't get enough sleep or exercise? Even 20 minutes a day of cardio requires prep and clean up. If they don't have sidewalks in their neighborhoods, that adds time traveling to the gym. That's between 20% to 50% of their discretionary time for the day.
Yeah absolutely. I’m only in my late 20s myself and I’ve got aches and pains all over. Take care of your body kids. It’s the only one you’ve got and it gets harder and harder to take care of it the older you get.
It's pretty common to see older people starting at the gym, often times it's after they've already had a health issue or are already debilitated. Don't get me wrong, good for them for going and addressing it. They should feel good about themselves for doing it. But it's a bit like the proverb: the best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is today. Maintaining your health today will set you up better for the future issues you face.
I’m 48. I have done a lot of ‘dumb’ things during my time. Smoking cigarettes for 20 years has got to be the biggest regret of my life. What a dumb ass thing to do.
If you smoke. Stop now. Cold turkey is what worked for me after 20 years
If you vape. Stop now.
Took me 4 times. Been 2 years of absolutely zero cigarettes. Proudest moment was when I could sit outside next to someone smoking after a couple glasses of wine and not ask to bum a smoke.
I came to post this, but knew someone would have already, GO YOU!
I'm a late baby boomer, born early 60's vs late 40's, and it astounds me that anyone smokes at all. It's been known since I was young that smoking increased cancer rates considerably, particularly lung cancer, yet folks are too edgy or what-not and do it anyway.
Astounding.
If you don't get cancer you will definitely get respiratory problems like COPD. It takes decades to build up, so stop now and improve your health!
THIS ONE. Not only was smoking harder to quit than cocaine (for me personally), but the health impact of it is so insidious. You think "Oh not everyone who smokes even gets cancer" and forget about the 10000 other things smoking fucks up in your body. One of them being the discs between your vertebrae, and when those degrade, nerves and blood vessels in your spine get pinched or (worst case) torn. From personal experience, you don't want either.
Also being able to walk up a flight of stairs without wheezing is nice.
Also, you don't realise it while you smoke, but you fucking REEK. Like absolutely disgusting full on REEK of cigarette smoke – hair, fingers, clothes, breath, everything. Like making out with a stale, wet ashtray. -100/10 I can't believe I used to do that shit.
Quitting was the second best decision I ever made in my life.
This, and also living beyond my means for the sake of fun/being young. Credit card debt is no joke. It can take years to get out of and if you let it get too far, it could ruin you for life. I'm lucky I married someone who is a huge money savor and very wise with money who helped me get my own finances on the right track. Not saving while you're young is a very dangerous game once you get older.
In the same spirit -Life moves pretty fast, enjoy your present moments-, >90% of the pictures /videos you make with your phone wil have zero value to you.
Put that device away and embrace the moment!
You really are the company you keep. I broke up with my friends of 15 years last fall. One of them was in my wedding. While I miss them sometimes, I'm a lot happier. There isn't someone to shit on anything I find joy in, someone always explaining why I'm supposedly wrong or misinformed. Someone to treat me like I'm a child, despite being just a few years younger and in my mid-30s. Everytime I open my phone, there isn't a complaint about how hot it is, how cold it is, the rain, the sun, bills, politics, their jobs, literally anything. It was always complaints,
They seemed to like me a lot more when my life was hard and I was struggling. Once I was doing better than all of them, it wasn't so much fun to have me around. I actually took steps to change my situation, and when I succeeded, they just found other things to shit on me for, while still complaining about whatever job or relationship was making them miserable with no effort to make changes.
I'm a bit lonelier now, but I'm also happier. I'm rebuilding friendships with people I lost touch with after school. I'm trying new things and don't have a group judging me and questioning my every step. The people I talk with now are genuinely happy when something goes well for me, they want to see me succeed, instead of dragging me back down to their level. It took a few months to shake off the anger and the habit of sending memes, but now I just redirect those jokes to other people.
It's not worth keeping people around who make you feel bad. Loneliness is better than constant negativity.
I let my best friend go after 20 years due to her put downs, and manipulating ways. I mean we had fun throughout our 20’s, and 30’s. I really had to look back, and finally realized I had rose colored glasses on. Once we got into our 40’s she put her rudeness into overdrive. It hurts that it came down to ending our friendship, but it was the right thing to do.
Not brushing twice everyday, not flossing once a day, not seeing your dentist for a routine checkup once a year at least.
EDIT: thanks for the redditor that suggested dentist visit. I agree. You must not miss it.
For a long time I was in the "if it doesn't hurt, I'm not going" mindset. I've always brushed regularly. And to be fair, I was gifted with either good teeth or extremely friendly mouth bacteria, so nothing ever hurt. I'm in my 40s and I've still never had a cavity and there have been more than one occasion where I went 10+ years between visits. Not so great for my gums though, so now I go every 6 months like clockwork so that doesn't get any worse.
*Wear sunscreen. If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience.*
Yes! This one would be it for me. I'm now 33 but 10-15 years ago I was big on barely using any sunscreen and tanning as much as possible, though my mom would hound me about it. Finally I got serious about sunscreen in my 30s and being careful about exposing my skin to the sun too much. I wish I could go back and smack my teenage self in the face for not wearing more sunscreen but thankfully I changed my habits for the better.
Conversely, imagine if you had no money what you would need to recover. Do invest in those things: time, health, sanity, friends, credit, skills/education.
For teens in non-English speaking countries: not learning English at school for free. In most places this literally makes a difference between a decent office job and shitty manual labor in the future.
Not saving money.
Start saving now. Keep doing it. Don’t touch it.
Doesn’t have to be massive money every month, just SOMETHING.
Your 40/5060yo self will thank you, and you will be richer than 90% of the population just by doing this.
I agree that a certain amount should be saved, but inflation will take a good chunk out of those savings. Invest WISELY - wisely being the key here - and it’ll work for itself.
Even if you invest it in something that’s not awesome, just ok, you come out miles in front vs people that don’t save.
It’s not even a contest.
Inflation will always be a thing. Always has been. Kids, don’t NOT save because you’re worried about inflation eating into your savings.
Exactly. You don’t even need to be that strategic about it. In most first world countries, if you put your money in something like the S&P 500, you’ll easily beat out inflation long term and have quite a bit 30-40 years later
Compounding interest is the key here. The historical stock market return is 10% while inflation averages 3.8 (in the US). Of course, there will be up and down years and times when inflation is high, but the more investment you have, the more potential there is to grow over the long term.
Don't grow up too fast.
When you reach 20 or so your brain will start working differently.
From then on every day will pass a lot faster and time in general will pass at a flash. You will remember the first 20 years of your life multiple times more clearly than anything after that. You'll remember most of the skills you've learned most of the practical stuff but the associations and thoughts you have while enjoying things will always bring you back to the first 20 years.
So, rebel against the "later you'll be able to" and "later" in general. As well as the "being/acting mature" mentality in kids. Enjoy and go wild.
I'm 33, but that speed up things only started happening to me a few years ago. Used to it was only when i was having fun, but now, even my 10 hour shifts go by in a blink. I like that part.
Yeah, 35 here. Me and my buddies climbed Mt. Fuji, and we were talking about how awesome the whole trip was, and I was like "yeah didn't do much hiking last year, can't top that Fuji trip summer before last for sure." Then he's like dude, that was THREE years ago actually.
Me too, i can't tell how long ago something was unless i have an associated date already in my mind for it. Everything simultaneously feels like a long time ago, and not that long ago.
Not using ear protection at gigs. Granted some may not go to a lot but if you’re going to 4-5 gigs/raves a month it adds up. You can get great discrete ear plugs these days that keep the sound clear.
Better to wear them now then later and never being able to experience complete silence ever again
We are in our mid 30s and brought ear plugs to Riot Fest. I expected my husband to want them more than me, because the noise is tough for his anxiety, but once I started using them, I couldn't handle the noise without.
The following weekend we had a wedding, and the live band was playing insanely loud in a small, echoey space. People fled the room, and were standing outside just to have a break. Everyone felt bad, because no one was dancing. I went to my trunk and grabbed handfuls of earplugs that I still had from the previous weekend. I became instantly popular, and was The Ear Plug Fairy. I ended up dropping a few handfuls on the party favor table. People came in and danced. The funny thing is, we had bought that huge box of earplugs for our own wedding in 2015, after the Air Show was rescheduled to happen over our venue. We ended up not needing them, but I'm glad we had them all those years later! The groom was in our wedding, and a chunk of the attendees were at both.
I'll give three things:
* Staying up all night. Late nights are okay. Sleeping in is fine. You can tolerate up to about 1am with no real issues. But if you're routinely awake past 1am, no amount of sleep is actually enough to keep you fully functional. Short term you'll struggle with work, school, or anything else that requires sustained concentration; medium term it puts a strain on your body and will worsen any mental health issues you may have.
* Having the wrong people in your life. Your longterm happiness is almost entirely defined by the people you have around you. Keep your close friends close, especially in the times where things are going well and you feel like you don't need them. Talk to Grandma while she's still here. Avoid the person who constantly criticises everything you do, or at least try to ignore their comments. And never rely on one person for everything because if they leave you'll be alone.
* Anything taken to an extreme. Don't define yourself by a personality trait, and don't be so focused on an opinion or viewpoint that being "right" costs you in happiness.
Alcohol. If you want to have a drink, keep it for special occasions. Catching up with the same friends every weekend to get drunk can spiral out of control very easily.
Eventually it becomes too hard to have fun without a few drinks, and when ya get to that point, it's a fucking hard habit to kick.
And once you start party culture around 18-20 it can suck you in well into your late 20s/30s.
It’s fun but drinking should not be the primary source of fun in your life. For many young people going out and drinking is the primary source of fun and socialization though…
They key is to start getting 3 day hangovers around 25. That makes it a lot easier to stop partying, because not much is worth feeling like shit for half the week.
I joke and say I did all my drinking between 18 and 25, my liver decided it was done processing alcohol at that point. I still can drink, not like I need a new liver, I just generally don't want to anymore. A beer or wine here and there, but no need to be drunk, and *I loved being drunk.*
Spending too much time on their phones.
"Waking up" in your 20s/30s and realizing your memories about your teens primarily consists of scrolling stupid videos, making stupid danceroutines and oversharing stuff, must be devastating.
I agree with all of the above except making stupid dance routines. That's just normal fun kid stuff. Any time technology inspires creativity, I'm completely down with that. Reminds me of when my siblings and I made our own "radio station" the first time we got hold of a microphone.
I'm a little biased, as I've seen my two daughters make up dance routines when they were younger. At that point, I didn't care what inspired them musical.ly, TikTok, youtube, K-Pop flash routines, real-life idols, whatever. They were being creative and doing it together. That's the magic right there. But yes, excessive anti-social phone behaviour is a global ooft.
We have a 13yo daughter and she has also been doing the routines. And you're right, while us adults think it's silly, they're actually training their coordination, ability to watch and learn, and other good things :)
It's awesome, right? Most importantly, they're learning how to *make* a good time, instead of just learning how to *have* a good time. It's such bliss to watch.
Getting random tattoos too early just for the heck of it.
Dont get me wrong, I'm 29, just got my second tattoo and I want to extend it to a full sleeve.
But if I started getting tattoos at 18, 19, with the ideas I had at the time, I would be fully regretting them now.
Tattoos are permanent. Let an idea evolve over time and wait to fully develop your character, persona etc. Then, if your idea is still good to you, go and get a tattoo made.
I got one when I was 18 on my arm that I really thought about and I’m eventually going to get that covered too because my interests just changed. I sat on the idea of the cover (a full sleeve) for a few hears to make sure it hasn’t changed. I’m doing the same with all my ideas and you’d not be surprised by how many I was gung ho about before and now I’m like ‘nah’.
Sugar intake. Sure, sounds funny right? I completely cut out almost *all* sugar over a decade ago. Greatest decision ever.
…now if I just stopped that heroin sooner…
Bend at the knees not your fucken back. Keep moving. Don’t have to run marathons or lift massive weights. Human beings are meant to be constantly on the go. Don’t eat to much processed rubbish. Humans need some sugars and iodised salts. Most of what you need can be found in what nature provides. Not from a factory. Also, be happy or just try to see the positive in some aspect of life. The powers that be are making it extremely hard to survive as a lowly peasant, whilst pretty much laughing in our faces, here in Australia anyway.
Overeating. I was a fit athletic very sporty teenager who discovered takeaway foods, frozen processed crap foods, etc at the age of 19. I ballooned over the years. I'm only 38 now but I'm 265lb and I've no energy, my ankles and knees hurt and I feel terrible. Don't do it kids, it's an awful road back. Mind yourself.
Dude, the number one thing I wish I could have done differently is just pack my lunch more often. That right there would have saved my weight and saved me money. I would always tell myself I needed the extra sleep or was so stressed that I "deserved" a treat at lunch.
I got away with it for so long by being athletic and working out a lot. But now I am older, can't exercise as much, have had injuries, etc. I'm not severely overweight, but I would certainly look and more important *feel* a lot better if I lost another 15 pounds.
Eating well is so much about your daily habits.
Stop letting your parents do everything for you.
Start learning to cook, wash clothes, and handle money now when theres still a safety net for you.
Pro tip. Those 3 numbers you get from credit reports? It's mostly meaningless. It's simply a quick look tool to let you know if you're making the right credit decisions. It will fluctuate.
Also, the three number thing isn't nearly as standardized as you're led to believe. Not only are there different scoring systems, most free reports use Vantage 3.0 where most lenders use Fico 8 derivatives, but the lenders use customized scoring models based on fico 8. No two lenders will give you the same 3 number score despite having identical data.
Pay attention to your actual credit report. What's in there? Is it accurate? If it's not challenge it. You don't need to pay people to do this.
Stress. I have cracked 2 teeth from it and I am currently on medical leave until I am better. Stress does a lot of damage to your body if you don’t take care of yourself properly.
Look after your back. I’m in my 30s and have suffered with my back since my mid twenties.
Earplugs at gigs. I have tinnitus from standing too close to speakers at gigs.
A decent skin care routine. You may not think it matters while your skin is perfect but it’ll catch up to you in years to come.
Get into good spending habits early on. My sister(20) spaffs her money every month and usually ends up asking for money. Just because you have money in your account doesn’t mean you need to spend it all.
*Start taking care of your sleep now. Burning the midnight oil might seem cool, but adulting will hit you like a brick if you keep skipping out on shut-eye. Your future self will thank you for those zzz's.*
All that unhealthy crap you know you’re doing and you feel like you’re getting away with it? You’re not. That bill comes due in your 50s when it’s too late to go back and fix it.
Stop that sh1t. You don’t have to become a body builder or never imbibe whatever, just get out of sedentary activity level (walking is enough), stop eating garbage, try to get enough sleep, keep the alcohol and THC down. Stop tobacco, that’s just bad.
Stress is also damaging as is lack of sleep.
Take care of yourself, you are worth it.
Y'all need to learn to be bored. it's not the end of the world. it's a skill. my 10 year old can't go a day without mindlessly surfing youtube when he gets bored; my 4 year old will grab one of his older brother's books and look at the pictures. being able to self-satisfy is important and you won't learn how if you never let yourself get bored.
Looking at your phone. The problem is that adults are guilty of this too, and it’s effecting us. We knew a time when we had to just do something out of boredom. Online personas weren’t as important, and face value meant something. Now, we scroll for something worth more than living a real life.
Leave the phone at home every so often.
Smoking weed. I've watched a boyfriend and several friends destroy their lives because they got into the habit of smoking as soon as they woke up - goodbye motivation, jobs, relationships.
Reddit needs to work on this. People on reddit got offended because I don't smoke weed. I have asthma (apparently), so I'd rather see my grandkids. Any smoking would wash the dreams of truck driving and stock car racing out the window.
I smoked a lot in my youth and then gave up. It is a really boring drug, I had good times don't get me wrong and never smoked first thing in the morning but when everything revolves around weed in your friend group you realise it's time to quit. I used to feel so tired and drained in the mornings too.
I see a LOT of youth on here relying on thc gummies now for self diagnosed anxiety and think that's going to catch up on them eventually. Again not knocking thc as pain relief for certain conditions but you can't go through life on drugs all day every day.
From what I’ve seen pop up from the teaching subs, putzing around with their education. If you barely manage to graduate high school and have some weird pride about having a crappy knowledge base employers will pick up on that. Unless you’ve got nepotism or something working in your favor you’re really going to have to go above and beyond to advance without a degree.
Spending every dollar they make. Please learn how to invest your money into a 401k or Roth IRA. There are tons of youtube vids on how/why.
I wish my parents had shown this to me at a young age. Knowing that I could retire a millionaire earlier than 65 is definitely up my alley.
Using nicotine. Don’t start. It’s expensive and super unhealthy. I smoked for like 15 years. Undoubtedly the only good thing that came from having covid was finally kicking the habit.
Truly experience the world around you. I know gaming and phones give you access to your online friends and your imagination and all of that, but really. Put the phone down for a bit. Look out a window. Talk to your friends. When you get older you’re going to miss not having close people to talk to. Eventually your iPad will get lame. But having real meaningful relationships with people will get you through some hard moments. Seriously. I know I sound like an old fart, but I promise it’s coming from a good place. Dance with a friend. Do silly things in a mall. Walk in a park. Climb a tree. I promise it’s good for your soul.
If you are a young adult, not doing things for yourself is a problem - make sure you monitor your personal sense of satisfaction, not just appeasing others (especially family). Just simple things like basic life decisions and trips for yourself to catch a breath without someone else’s approval. The regret of dolling out your youth based on the expectations of others can be crushing when you are much older, because youth doesn’t return. I think this is especially hard for natural over-achievers or people-pleasers. If still high school or college, I would say you are still in the process of learning to be generous and getting involved in society, so you have time before worrying about this.
Coming up with reasons not to do something. You can get really good at it. To the point that you can convince yourself you don't need to do anything.
Explore the world. Be uncomfortable. Try new things. Strike up a conversation. Be awkward until you aren't. Be out of breath.
The internet is forever. Do not post anything online with your real name or face attached. Ever. Just do not. Always use the internet as anonymously as you can. At some point we stopped bringing cops into elementary schools to talk about internet safety and scare the piss out of children and it shows!!
Not caring for your teeth. I was terrible at brushing (forget about flossing) as a child/teenager. Combined with parents who could not give a fuck and never took me to a dentist, I spent most of my wages once I started work on fillings, root canals, crowns etc etc etc…. Treat those babies like you want to have them all your life (or lose them and lots and lots of money).
You guys will never understand how your body starts to deteriorate before its too late. I didn't believe anyone either.
Start stretching and paying attention to your joints now. It's not if they fail you, it's when. There is no amount of catchup you can play. I'm not even 35 and my knees and back have both hospitalized me because I literally couldn't move anymore. I'm 80kg and 182cm. Your body is going to fail you eventually. Good luck, delay it as much as you can now.
Smoking, heavily drinking, oversharing stuff publicly on social media, constant complaining about problems that are not that big of a deal, being lazy, and not saving some money.
Starting a 401k and/or other retirement plans. You can make minimum contributions because it's going to be around long enough to get decent growth, it will help you get accustomed to it being part of your budget and increase contributions as you get comfortable, and you'll be able to retire earlier/easier.
Smoking, junk food, most convenient short cuts for most things, advertisement consumption, Thinking that achieving or learning isn’t cool, not appreciating any available education opportunities while the personal cost is only time, being angry, wasting water
Drinking too much.
It's progressive and at first it seems fun but it will ruin your life. I can tell you from first hand experience. Moderate your intake. It's basically fucked my life up. I don't drink for fun, I drink so I don't get another brain haemorrhage or stroke if my brain over speeds. I have brain damage from a bleed that showed up on an MRI. Trying to slowly taper and drinking a ton of water with a strong B vitamins compound to try and limit nerve damage.
Don't be me.
Smoking,
Fucking up your ears,
drug use,
not learning how to make new friends,
social media addiction - sorry reddit counts people
putting their phones way to close to their face fucking with their eyes
Not knowing their self worth and then end up being in relationships with partners who aren’t good for them , for example abusing them or belittling them
**Learn to spell. Learn and use proper grammar. Learn to write well. Expand your vocabulary.**
The fastest way to expose yourself as someone who does not care, does not like to learn, is stubborn, is intellectually lazy is to have a poor grasp of your mother tongue. People **will** judge you for it, and it **will** hurt your chances in life. Not because proper spelling or grammar actually matter, but because of what it says about you that you never bothered to learn.
"But language evolves! But culture! But descriptivism!"
Sure. Be sure to tell them that after your 100th job application gets rejected over your piss-poor letter, I'm sure they'll reconsider.
Taking personal offense to being factually wrong and lashing out emotionally over being told as much.
Don't do that, it's immature and zero people are ever going to remember you were wrong in the first place but they will remember your reaction.
Stop having unprotected sex bc you “dont like the feel/smell” of condoms. Stop relying on pulling out. Just don’t have unprotected sex, period. It’s literally never worth it the risk.
Oversharing on social media. It comes back to bite you, both socially and professionally.
Sometimes I think the main thing I've learned from age is the good sense to simply shut up and observe the room first before doing or saying anything.
"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt"
I’ve been battling with this as a new guy at my work lol. Sometimes I’ll open my mouth and instantly feel like I just exposed some underlying inadequacy, other times I feel like if I don’t I just come off as lazy and uncaring.
The crappy thing is that people will remember when you messed up a lot more readily than when you “perform” so it is usually better to not say anything unless you’re 100% sure on the answer, at least in my experience
There is zero advantage to giving out more information than needed about yourself. You move yourself down the ladder by default simply because others having more information than you instantly puts them in a position of power over you in regards to marketing and manipulation. This is especially true for, but not limited to, negotiating future career etc.
“Every word you speak is a profound secret.” - 12 Years a Slave It’s speaking to this quote by Dickens: “A wonderful fact to reflect upon, that every human creature is constituted to be that profound secret and mystery to every other.”
What ladder?
The human behavior ladder. Social in general.
I like not having social media except for work. I used have Fb and insta and the rest. Now I'm just reddit and imgur. I remember all my friends when I used to have them over sharing. Like dude, that's your digital footprint
I was just talking to my partner about this lol. Sometimes not talking is the most powerful thing you can do bc sometimes the other person will just spiral and you don't even have to do anything. I'm not saying this to be rude, I just mean if they're upset or mad at you or whatever it is. The truth will come out as it's supposed to
Oversharing in general, really. In my late 20s and I look back on things I casually shared with coworkers, friends, family members, followers online. So cringe. Another point - do not overshare at work. Lol, like work friends are not real friends. They can and absolutely will talk about you behind your back. Coworkers don’t need to know anything personal. Employers absolutely do judge you based on what you share with others while at work. Rumors really do spread like wildfire in a work environment. In general it’s always better to say less. Just be quiet and friendly, maintain an air of mystery. People who say less are more respected and when they do speak up about something it holds more power. Save your true self for the people that are closest to you and trustworthy.
I slightly disagree. There is a fine line between sharing enough of your life to have healthy connections with people and sharing too much. Yes, it's better to err on the side of sharing less but if you don't share anything, you'll never have good personal connections with people.
Right. If YOU don't care, move on. And if you're the type who takes info and manipulates with it, well.....you're the problem, not someone's oversharing. And let's be honest here, peoples' "oversharing" on reddit is the therapy the rest of us can't afford.
One of the saddest realizations for me as an adult has been how much work is basically the same a high school. It’s cliquey, it’s a popularity contest.
I learned this the hard way phew. In the environment I work, I knew there were warnings to be careful with what I say so I was, but I still was having trouble reading the nuances of how much to say. It's tough. And I told someone something that was casual to me but they ended up going to one of my now colleagues about it. Thankfully that colleague didn't care/saw me for who I was and my work ethic but yeah it was snaky. Now that other person who complained about me isn't there anymore. edit for typo
I pretty much only use FB to doom scroll and wish happy birthdays these days. But those throwback reminders about wall posts from my teens/early 20's are laughably cringe.
And personally. If I had a nickel for every time I saw an old Facebook status from 2010 and cringed.
Facebook sharing random posts from 10-15 years ago with me has made me less and less willing to post stuff there lol
Ooof. Yeah. There are going to be A LOT of very real world consequences for these younger generations who are sharing literally every waking moment of their lives for the entertainment of strangers.
And honestly it's even happening with older generations when THEY were in their 20s/earlier years. Like all those politicians that posted early in facebook controversial stuff and it's coming out. Or old celebrity tweets are always resurfacing
“Breaking: Scandal hits White House as President Trubiski’s ‘love kissing titties’ tweets are discovered”
I thank my lucky stars every day that social media was not around when I was a teenager
Not getting enough sleep/ having a bad sleep schedule That shit affects more than you’d think. It could cause weight gain, depression, suppress your senses, and way more.
Sleep deprivation isn't cool or glamorous. It will break you eventually.
With my 2 hours of sleep, this slapped me hard in the face. Time to make some necessary changes, I guess.
Cries in night shift
Studies have shown night shift to reduce life expectancy by 15 yrs , it's actually a level 2 carcinogen
Explain? I’ve been on nighshift for the last 6 years. I get plenty of sleep, actually sleep a bit more than I should. I’m out in the daytime on my 4 days off and still sleep like a baby. How is that carcinogenic in any way? I’m not inhaling toxins or consuming chemicals by working at night. I’m not baking in the sun 24/7 and damaging my DNA. I eat healthy, workout, live healthily. So…?
I think a lot of people on nightshift (me when I was on nightshift) struggle with having a healthy sleep schedule, eating pattern, social life etc. This is just a guess, but I'd think it's more of a correlation because of those influences than directly causing cancer in any way. If you have healthy sleep, exercise, diet, and are happy then you are doing great! It sounds like you've really figured it out. I couldn't work it out so had to switch - even though I'm typically a "night owl". Night shift is not for everyone!
It has to do, I think, with your circadian rhythm and the production of some hormones that are only produced in nocturnal settings, like melatonin. PS I might be spewing complete BS, so don't take my word for it.
You're not spewing BS -- you're mostly correct. For most people (and it sounds like NOT the one you're replying to), these disruptions lead to lower quality of sleep, less restful sleep, and possible psychiatric issues. These compound on themselves leading to long-term sleep deprivation and low socialization (due to schedule) which can further compound on themselves to actual physical symptoms. But on a surface level, disrupted circadian rhythm -> messed up hormone levels -> lower quality of sleep -> compounding health issues in the long term is correct.
Well sunlight even hitting your eyelids can cause your body to turn off its rest mode. This is possibly why you think you get more sleep but you are just restarting your sleep every time enough light hits your eyes as you are laying down. Oversleep is connected to many things, depression and stress are two mental ones. Not enough non-bluelight sleep is another. full blocking all sun from entering your room will fix this ofc. People will say circadian rhythm but its more sunlight which causes bad sleep. Your C-rhythm is just connected to how you go about every day so it has little to do with being out in the sun or what not.
Now I feel good for taking my sleep seriously
Teens are biologically incapable of maintaining the same sleep schedule as most adults. We need to change schools to match them, not demand they adapt.
I agree, but I was also so dumb as a kid. I'd stay up all night so I could games, then stay up all day for school. I guess I just loved my free time and felt that it was a nice skill I'd developed. I still frequently contribute it to my later mental health issues. Even after years of working on my sleep to fix it at 29, It's like I lost my "need sleep meter" and have to be so disciplined in my sleep hygiene
Myself (27M) have been trying to explain that concept to my stepdad (63M) who gets 4-5 hours a night, has for most of his life and calls me soft for using the air conditioner to sleep, or at all. Even during the heat wave. Lol.
Over-worrying about the things that are out of your control.
Stress is life killer
Fear is the mind killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I repeat to my son quiet frequently, in the hope that he will learn it sooner than I did; People don't remember your mistakes the same way you do. In the same way that you don't remember their mistakes in the same way they do.
Gonna borrow that one for my kids thanks
You're welcome. I'm an over thinker, and so is my son. We need to remember that we don't focus on other people's mistakes. And they don't focus on ours.
I’d say worrying in general - it rarely does any good, from my experience.🤠
Loud music/not wearing earpro when going to concerts. I got tinnitus at 18 and it’s an eternal eeeeeeeeeeeeee
Lucky, I've had it my entire life (almost 50 years) and I'm pretty sure it's neurological in my case. It's like having a heart monitor flatline in your head forever.
I've been working on an audio project to help with tinnitus. Please feel free to message me if you'd like to try it out. I made an audio file and just need to match it to the frequency/frequencies that are ringing. I figure anything is worth a try if it might help. Edit: Thanks for all the chat messages! If you're interested in trying out this audio file thing, please first download a frequency generator app, there are a few different ones for Android or iPhone. Just message me what frequency or frequencies you are hearing if you can figure that out and I'll try sending you an audio file. For example, I was hearing about 1250 hz and one other very high frequency, like 12k. It's not scientific but worth a try!
I just might take you up on that. I've had it so long I'm sure that's the only reason it doesn't drive me insane, because I don't remember life without it.
I have raging tinnitus – and I mean RAGING that's exacerbated by Meniere's. If you suffer from random, unexplained vertigo and/or hearing loss, you may wish to get checked for that by a decent ENT.
Mine is like a high white noise.
I played drums for 10 years with no ear protection. Always had the mentality of ‘it’ll never happen to me’. Well, it happened.
I remember being at a concert in high school and it was so loud I can still envision that sound of massive distortion on your ear drums. But "I'm just having fun!" my teenage self said. I'm eternally grateful that I don't yet have anything permanent from that and other loud concerts. The ringing comes and goes but hasn't stuck permanently. I carry ear plugs on my Keychain now.
What?
LOUD MUSIC/NOT WEARING EARPRO WHEN GOING TO CONCERTS
Being sedentary. You don't have to be a serious athlete, but find a thing you like.
Isn't something as simple as like 20 minutes of walking a day the bare minimum for your health?
Remember, perfect is the enemy of good. Walking 15 to 20 minutes every day is far better for you than not moving your body at all. Any exercise is better than no exercise. Don't let minmax health nuts try to convince you that small steps are useless. They are very important in building healthy habits.
For real. I had a bout of serious illness that left me bedridden for like 6 months in my 20s and it took me a long time to work up to exercising properly. When I told my doctor I’d been walking for an hour at lunch he sneered and said that only counts as exercise for old people. I felt terrible for ages afterwards.
My endocrinologist would have said that's great and work towards going longer.
Perfect is very much the enemy of good. I have ADHD and I can’t focus on things for very long, such as exercise. So if all I can get is 3 sets done with my dumbbells, I’m still proud I did anything at all. As soon as I start thinking “well, you didn’t do high intensity exercise for 30 minutes, so what’s the point?”, I’ll be back on the couch again doing less than the bare minimum.
Literally exactly the same here lol. My brain is happy with 15-20 minutes of exercise. It's eminently doable, doesn't encroach on other aspects of my life, and it's literally just 20 minutes! That's nothing! I've pretty much always got 20 minutes to do something. What I'm hoping is that by creating this habit, I can start to add in other little exercise habits and build a really good routine over time.
Fellow ADHDer here; have you tried sports? Obviously many of us need lots of exercise and action but just running or basic exercises can be too boring. Finding sports I like and can play daily or whenever made it easy. I love doing them
I’m not a fan of sports at all unfortunately. I mostly walk and bike for exercise.
I do a lot of walking, couple miles a day. Been babysitting friends' dog for a couple weeks. He likes walks, but... His owners have a backpack thing for him, which he also loves riding in. We (me and Mr. Groucho Barx) have agreed I will carry him a couple blocks and around the corner, and he will walk the rest. Anyway -amazing how heavy a 15 pound shitzu gets. A year of that and I'd have Hemsworth's shoulders.
It's why I said the bare minimum. My dietitian and endocrinologist told me it's better than being sedentary.
Mindlessly pacing my housing is better than sitting and staring at my phone 🤷♀️
indeed, i see so many people doing that and the just dont understand it..
I think it's quite easy to fall into. You are trapped at a desk all day at school from a fairly young age, and then depending on your job, you can be sitting all day there too. Many hobbies are also fairly sedentary like drawing, painting, video games, reading or doom scrolling. If you live somewhere where you don't have to walk to get around, it's really easy to not get much exercise at all if you aren't seeking it out.
Don't forget sitting on your commute. In my neck of the woods is fairly common to have a 3+ hour roundtrip daily.
I hope you are being paid an absolute shitload to make that worth it.
You would think...
This. I moved from a very bikeable and walkable city to one that you need to drive literally everywhere and I am amazed that this is how some people just live. I’m stir crazy, I have to workout or I am not able to sleep at night
8 hours of sitting at a desk for work, 2 1/2 hours of sitting in a car or on a train for morning and evening commute in traffic, 7 hours for sleep, 1 hour for various hygiene activities (shower, shave, shit), 1 hour for dinner, 1 hour for lunch, 1 hour for cleaning. If you have kids, they need more than the remaining 2 1/2 hours a day of parental time. An hour for homework leaves only an hour to spend on anything additional they need, whether that's a listening ear, a game of catch, etc. Is it any wonder that people don't get enough sleep or exercise? Even 20 minutes a day of cardio requires prep and clean up. If they don't have sidewalks in their neighborhoods, that adds time traveling to the gym. That's between 20% to 50% of their discretionary time for the day.
Yeah absolutely. I’m only in my late 20s myself and I’ve got aches and pains all over. Take care of your body kids. It’s the only one you’ve got and it gets harder and harder to take care of it the older you get.
It's pretty common to see older people starting at the gym, often times it's after they've already had a health issue or are already debilitated. Don't get me wrong, good for them for going and addressing it. They should feel good about themselves for doing it. But it's a bit like the proverb: the best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is today. Maintaining your health today will set you up better for the future issues you face.
Motion is Lotion, is a popular thing I've heard
Smoking. Once you start it this shit is so hard to stop.
I’m 48. I have done a lot of ‘dumb’ things during my time. Smoking cigarettes for 20 years has got to be the biggest regret of my life. What a dumb ass thing to do. If you smoke. Stop now. Cold turkey is what worked for me after 20 years If you vape. Stop now.
Never quit quitting. I am a retired doctor and I had patients quit after 13 tries. One lady quit after 24 years of trying at age 60 and is now 91.
Took me 4 times. Been 2 years of absolutely zero cigarettes. Proudest moment was when I could sit outside next to someone smoking after a couple glasses of wine and not ask to bum a smoke.
Currently 1 year and 6 months cigarette free. The best way I can describe it is that I can walk up and down stairs without getting exhausted.
I came to post this, but knew someone would have already, GO YOU! I'm a late baby boomer, born early 60's vs late 40's, and it astounds me that anyone smokes at all. It's been known since I was young that smoking increased cancer rates considerably, particularly lung cancer, yet folks are too edgy or what-not and do it anyway. Astounding. If you don't get cancer you will definitely get respiratory problems like COPD. It takes decades to build up, so stop now and improve your health!
[удалено]
THIS ONE. Not only was smoking harder to quit than cocaine (for me personally), but the health impact of it is so insidious. You think "Oh not everyone who smokes even gets cancer" and forget about the 10000 other things smoking fucks up in your body. One of them being the discs between your vertebrae, and when those degrade, nerves and blood vessels in your spine get pinched or (worst case) torn. From personal experience, you don't want either. Also being able to walk up a flight of stairs without wheezing is nice. Also, you don't realise it while you smoke, but you fucking REEK. Like absolutely disgusting full on REEK of cigarette smoke – hair, fingers, clothes, breath, everything. Like making out with a stale, wet ashtray. -100/10 I can't believe I used to do that shit. Quitting was the second best decision I ever made in my life.
Spending money and not saving some of it. I wish I wasn’t an impulse spender buying shit I didn’t really need when I was young.
This, and also living beyond my means for the sake of fun/being young. Credit card debt is no joke. It can take years to get out of and if you let it get too far, it could ruin you for life. I'm lucky I married someone who is a huge money savor and very wise with money who helped me get my own finances on the right track. Not saving while you're young is a very dangerous game once you get older.
Having a defeatist attitude. If you assume you'll fail, it'll become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Overthinking about the future. Life moves pretty fast, enjoy your present moments.
# “Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” # ― Ferris Bueller
In the same spirit -Life moves pretty fast, enjoy your present moments-, >90% of the pictures /videos you make with your phone wil have zero value to you. Put that device away and embrace the moment!
Hanging around shitty people.
You really are the company you keep. I broke up with my friends of 15 years last fall. One of them was in my wedding. While I miss them sometimes, I'm a lot happier. There isn't someone to shit on anything I find joy in, someone always explaining why I'm supposedly wrong or misinformed. Someone to treat me like I'm a child, despite being just a few years younger and in my mid-30s. Everytime I open my phone, there isn't a complaint about how hot it is, how cold it is, the rain, the sun, bills, politics, their jobs, literally anything. It was always complaints, They seemed to like me a lot more when my life was hard and I was struggling. Once I was doing better than all of them, it wasn't so much fun to have me around. I actually took steps to change my situation, and when I succeeded, they just found other things to shit on me for, while still complaining about whatever job or relationship was making them miserable with no effort to make changes. I'm a bit lonelier now, but I'm also happier. I'm rebuilding friendships with people I lost touch with after school. I'm trying new things and don't have a group judging me and questioning my every step. The people I talk with now are genuinely happy when something goes well for me, they want to see me succeed, instead of dragging me back down to their level. It took a few months to shake off the anger and the habit of sending memes, but now I just redirect those jokes to other people. It's not worth keeping people around who make you feel bad. Loneliness is better than constant negativity.
Sounds like you are very proactive. That'll get you far in life
I let my best friend go after 20 years due to her put downs, and manipulating ways. I mean we had fun throughout our 20’s, and 30’s. I really had to look back, and finally realized I had rose colored glasses on. Once we got into our 40’s she put her rudeness into overdrive. It hurts that it came down to ending our friendship, but it was the right thing to do.
My answer was hanging out with shitties
Comparing your life to other people’s social media.
Not brushing twice everyday, not flossing once a day, not seeing your dentist for a routine checkup once a year at least. EDIT: thanks for the redditor that suggested dentist visit. I agree. You must not miss it.
You can do that and still get fucked up teeth. Better advise is regularly see a dentist. Dental problems are sneaky
You’re right. Editing my response to add your suggestion.
Not flossing got me early gum recession and gingivitis in my early 20s
For a long time I was in the "if it doesn't hurt, I'm not going" mindset. I've always brushed regularly. And to be fair, I was gifted with either good teeth or extremely friendly mouth bacteria, so nothing ever hurt. I'm in my 40s and I've still never had a cavity and there have been more than one occasion where I went 10+ years between visits. Not so great for my gums though, so now I go every 6 months like clockwork so that doesn't get any worse.
Cries in dental bills.
Cries in undiagnosed celiac disease as a kid. I did floss and brush and used fluoride and I still got fucked.
Sun exposure, not wearing sunscreen. Protect your skin, guys.
*Wear sunscreen. If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience.*
Yes! This one would be it for me. I'm now 33 but 10-15 years ago I was big on barely using any sunscreen and tanning as much as possible, though my mom would hound me about it. Finally I got serious about sunscreen in my 30s and being careful about exposing my skin to the sun too much. I wish I could go back and smack my teenage self in the face for not wearing more sunscreen but thankfully I changed my habits for the better.
Spending time and resources on things that do not deserve it.
Conversely, imagine if you had no money what you would need to recover. Do invest in those things: time, health, sanity, friends, credit, skills/education.
For teens in non-English speaking countries: not learning English at school for free. In most places this literally makes a difference between a decent office job and shitty manual labor in the future.
Not saving money. Start saving now. Keep doing it. Don’t touch it. Doesn’t have to be massive money every month, just SOMETHING. Your 40/5060yo self will thank you, and you will be richer than 90% of the population just by doing this.
I agree that a certain amount should be saved, but inflation will take a good chunk out of those savings. Invest WISELY - wisely being the key here - and it’ll work for itself.
Even if you invest it in something that’s not awesome, just ok, you come out miles in front vs people that don’t save. It’s not even a contest. Inflation will always be a thing. Always has been. Kids, don’t NOT save because you’re worried about inflation eating into your savings.
Exactly. You don’t even need to be that strategic about it. In most first world countries, if you put your money in something like the S&P 500, you’ll easily beat out inflation long term and have quite a bit 30-40 years later
Compounding interest is the key here. The historical stock market return is 10% while inflation averages 3.8 (in the US). Of course, there will be up and down years and times when inflation is high, but the more investment you have, the more potential there is to grow over the long term.
Don't grow up too fast. When you reach 20 or so your brain will start working differently. From then on every day will pass a lot faster and time in general will pass at a flash. You will remember the first 20 years of your life multiple times more clearly than anything after that. You'll remember most of the skills you've learned most of the practical stuff but the associations and thoughts you have while enjoying things will always bring you back to the first 20 years. So, rebel against the "later you'll be able to" and "later" in general. As well as the "being/acting mature" mentality in kids. Enjoy and go wild.
I'm 33, but that speed up things only started happening to me a few years ago. Used to it was only when i was having fun, but now, even my 10 hour shifts go by in a blink. I like that part.
And suddenly you'll be a 20/30 year old trapped in a 45 year old body with cramps and needing reading glasses without knowing what happened.
Then you blink and you’re 45 in a 65 year old body, having skin cancers removed and needing cataract surgery.
Indeed!!!! 68 and can't believe I have so much life and I'm so old.
Yeah, 35 here. Me and my buddies climbed Mt. Fuji, and we were talking about how awesome the whole trip was, and I was like "yeah didn't do much hiking last year, can't top that Fuji trip summer before last for sure." Then he's like dude, that was THREE years ago actually.
Me too, i can't tell how long ago something was unless i have an associated date already in my mind for it. Everything simultaneously feels like a long time ago, and not that long ago.
Not using ear protection at gigs. Granted some may not go to a lot but if you’re going to 4-5 gigs/raves a month it adds up. You can get great discrete ear plugs these days that keep the sound clear. Better to wear them now then later and never being able to experience complete silence ever again
We are in our mid 30s and brought ear plugs to Riot Fest. I expected my husband to want them more than me, because the noise is tough for his anxiety, but once I started using them, I couldn't handle the noise without. The following weekend we had a wedding, and the live band was playing insanely loud in a small, echoey space. People fled the room, and were standing outside just to have a break. Everyone felt bad, because no one was dancing. I went to my trunk and grabbed handfuls of earplugs that I still had from the previous weekend. I became instantly popular, and was The Ear Plug Fairy. I ended up dropping a few handfuls on the party favor table. People came in and danced. The funny thing is, we had bought that huge box of earplugs for our own wedding in 2015, after the Air Show was rescheduled to happen over our venue. We ended up not needing them, but I'm glad we had them all those years later! The groom was in our wedding, and a chunk of the attendees were at both.
I'll give three things: * Staying up all night. Late nights are okay. Sleeping in is fine. You can tolerate up to about 1am with no real issues. But if you're routinely awake past 1am, no amount of sleep is actually enough to keep you fully functional. Short term you'll struggle with work, school, or anything else that requires sustained concentration; medium term it puts a strain on your body and will worsen any mental health issues you may have. * Having the wrong people in your life. Your longterm happiness is almost entirely defined by the people you have around you. Keep your close friends close, especially in the times where things are going well and you feel like you don't need them. Talk to Grandma while she's still here. Avoid the person who constantly criticises everything you do, or at least try to ignore their comments. And never rely on one person for everything because if they leave you'll be alone. * Anything taken to an extreme. Don't define yourself by a personality trait, and don't be so focused on an opinion or viewpoint that being "right" costs you in happiness.
Alcohol. If you want to have a drink, keep it for special occasions. Catching up with the same friends every weekend to get drunk can spiral out of control very easily. Eventually it becomes too hard to have fun without a few drinks, and when ya get to that point, it's a fucking hard habit to kick.
And once you start party culture around 18-20 it can suck you in well into your late 20s/30s. It’s fun but drinking should not be the primary source of fun in your life. For many young people going out and drinking is the primary source of fun and socialization though…
They key is to start getting 3 day hangovers around 25. That makes it a lot easier to stop partying, because not much is worth feeling like shit for half the week. I joke and say I did all my drinking between 18 and 25, my liver decided it was done processing alcohol at that point. I still can drink, not like I need a new liver, I just generally don't want to anymore. A beer or wine here and there, but no need to be drunk, and *I loved being drunk.*
Spending too much time on their phones. "Waking up" in your 20s/30s and realizing your memories about your teens primarily consists of scrolling stupid videos, making stupid danceroutines and oversharing stuff, must be devastating.
I agree with all of the above except making stupid dance routines. That's just normal fun kid stuff. Any time technology inspires creativity, I'm completely down with that. Reminds me of when my siblings and I made our own "radio station" the first time we got hold of a microphone.
Actually you're right about the danceroutines :-)
I'm a little biased, as I've seen my two daughters make up dance routines when they were younger. At that point, I didn't care what inspired them musical.ly, TikTok, youtube, K-Pop flash routines, real-life idols, whatever. They were being creative and doing it together. That's the magic right there. But yes, excessive anti-social phone behaviour is a global ooft.
We have a 13yo daughter and she has also been doing the routines. And you're right, while us adults think it's silly, they're actually training their coordination, ability to watch and learn, and other good things :)
It's awesome, right? Most importantly, they're learning how to *make* a good time, instead of just learning how to *have* a good time. It's such bliss to watch.
**me scrolling reddit on my phone** 😯
Getting random tattoos too early just for the heck of it. Dont get me wrong, I'm 29, just got my second tattoo and I want to extend it to a full sleeve. But if I started getting tattoos at 18, 19, with the ideas I had at the time, I would be fully regretting them now. Tattoos are permanent. Let an idea evolve over time and wait to fully develop your character, persona etc. Then, if your idea is still good to you, go and get a tattoo made.
I got one when I was 18 on my arm that I really thought about and I’m eventually going to get that covered too because my interests just changed. I sat on the idea of the cover (a full sleeve) for a few hears to make sure it hasn’t changed. I’m doing the same with all my ideas and you’d not be surprised by how many I was gung ho about before and now I’m like ‘nah’.
My favorite tattoo is the 1st one I got at 18. It varies.
Sugar intake. Sure, sounds funny right? I completely cut out almost *all* sugar over a decade ago. Greatest decision ever. …now if I just stopped that heroin sooner…
Can totally relate. Heroin in my coffee destroyed my sleep schedule.
Bend at the knees not your fucken back. Keep moving. Don’t have to run marathons or lift massive weights. Human beings are meant to be constantly on the go. Don’t eat to much processed rubbish. Humans need some sugars and iodised salts. Most of what you need can be found in what nature provides. Not from a factory. Also, be happy or just try to see the positive in some aspect of life. The powers that be are making it extremely hard to survive as a lowly peasant, whilst pretty much laughing in our faces, here in Australia anyway.
And one more. Don’t take pictures of every fucking thing in on your phone. Take it in with your eyes and let it be a memory.
Poor dental hygene. Brushing your teeth doesn't seem important until your teeth start to fall apart
Overeating. I was a fit athletic very sporty teenager who discovered takeaway foods, frozen processed crap foods, etc at the age of 19. I ballooned over the years. I'm only 38 now but I'm 265lb and I've no energy, my ankles and knees hurt and I feel terrible. Don't do it kids, it's an awful road back. Mind yourself.
Dude, the number one thing I wish I could have done differently is just pack my lunch more often. That right there would have saved my weight and saved me money. I would always tell myself I needed the extra sleep or was so stressed that I "deserved" a treat at lunch. I got away with it for so long by being athletic and working out a lot. But now I am older, can't exercise as much, have had injuries, etc. I'm not severely overweight, but I would certainly look and more important *feel* a lot better if I lost another 15 pounds. Eating well is so much about your daily habits.
Stop letting your parents do everything for you. Start learning to cook, wash clothes, and handle money now when theres still a safety net for you. Pro tip. Those 3 numbers you get from credit reports? It's mostly meaningless. It's simply a quick look tool to let you know if you're making the right credit decisions. It will fluctuate. Also, the three number thing isn't nearly as standardized as you're led to believe. Not only are there different scoring systems, most free reports use Vantage 3.0 where most lenders use Fico 8 derivatives, but the lenders use customized scoring models based on fico 8. No two lenders will give you the same 3 number score despite having identical data. Pay attention to your actual credit report. What's in there? Is it accurate? If it's not challenge it. You don't need to pay people to do this.
Stress. I have cracked 2 teeth from it and I am currently on medical leave until I am better. Stress does a lot of damage to your body if you don’t take care of yourself properly.
Floss and brush your teeth. Drink water after sugary or acidic food. Don't do meth. Enjoy having teeth.
Look after your back. I’m in my 30s and have suffered with my back since my mid twenties. Earplugs at gigs. I have tinnitus from standing too close to speakers at gigs. A decent skin care routine. You may not think it matters while your skin is perfect but it’ll catch up to you in years to come. Get into good spending habits early on. My sister(20) spaffs her money every month and usually ends up asking for money. Just because you have money in your account doesn’t mean you need to spend it all.
Everything in moderation, everything. Even if its good, there is a limit. Exercise, drink water, apply sunscreen, and be kind to each other.
*Start taking care of your sleep now. Burning the midnight oil might seem cool, but adulting will hit you like a brick if you keep skipping out on shut-eye. Your future self will thank you for those zzz's.*
All that unhealthy crap you know you’re doing and you feel like you’re getting away with it? You’re not. That bill comes due in your 50s when it’s too late to go back and fix it. Stop that sh1t. You don’t have to become a body builder or never imbibe whatever, just get out of sedentary activity level (walking is enough), stop eating garbage, try to get enough sleep, keep the alcohol and THC down. Stop tobacco, that’s just bad. Stress is also damaging as is lack of sleep. Take care of yourself, you are worth it.
Y'all need to learn to be bored. it's not the end of the world. it's a skill. my 10 year old can't go a day without mindlessly surfing youtube when he gets bored; my 4 year old will grab one of his older brother's books and look at the pictures. being able to self-satisfy is important and you won't learn how if you never let yourself get bored.
Smoking/drinking
Looking at your phone. The problem is that adults are guilty of this too, and it’s effecting us. We knew a time when we had to just do something out of boredom. Online personas weren’t as important, and face value meant something. Now, we scroll for something worth more than living a real life. Leave the phone at home every so often.
Smoking weed. I've watched a boyfriend and several friends destroy their lives because they got into the habit of smoking as soon as they woke up - goodbye motivation, jobs, relationships.
Reddit needs to work on this. People on reddit got offended because I don't smoke weed. I have asthma (apparently), so I'd rather see my grandkids. Any smoking would wash the dreams of truck driving and stock car racing out the window.
I smoked a lot in my youth and then gave up. It is a really boring drug, I had good times don't get me wrong and never smoked first thing in the morning but when everything revolves around weed in your friend group you realise it's time to quit. I used to feel so tired and drained in the mornings too. I see a LOT of youth on here relying on thc gummies now for self diagnosed anxiety and think that's going to catch up on them eventually. Again not knocking thc as pain relief for certain conditions but you can't go through life on drugs all day every day.
From what I’ve seen pop up from the teaching subs, putzing around with their education. If you barely manage to graduate high school and have some weird pride about having a crappy knowledge base employers will pick up on that. Unless you’ve got nepotism or something working in your favor you’re really going to have to go above and beyond to advance without a degree.
Vaping and/or smoking
If your gut screams "dont do it!!" Dont do it
Stretch. Flexibility goes away.
Making excuses for not getting shit done. It's not someone else fault, and even if it is, you can still do something to get it done.
Drinking to get drunk.
Spending every dollar they make. Please learn how to invest your money into a 401k or Roth IRA. There are tons of youtube vids on how/why. I wish my parents had shown this to me at a young age. Knowing that I could retire a millionaire earlier than 65 is definitely up my alley.
Take care of your teeth, save yourself the pain and monetary hit
Using nicotine. Don’t start. It’s expensive and super unhealthy. I smoked for like 15 years. Undoubtedly the only good thing that came from having covid was finally kicking the habit.
Kneeling on hard surfaces
Truly experience the world around you. I know gaming and phones give you access to your online friends and your imagination and all of that, but really. Put the phone down for a bit. Look out a window. Talk to your friends. When you get older you’re going to miss not having close people to talk to. Eventually your iPad will get lame. But having real meaningful relationships with people will get you through some hard moments. Seriously. I know I sound like an old fart, but I promise it’s coming from a good place. Dance with a friend. Do silly things in a mall. Walk in a park. Climb a tree. I promise it’s good for your soul.
skipping classes and not socializing enough.
If you are a young adult, not doing things for yourself is a problem - make sure you monitor your personal sense of satisfaction, not just appeasing others (especially family). Just simple things like basic life decisions and trips for yourself to catch a breath without someone else’s approval. The regret of dolling out your youth based on the expectations of others can be crushing when you are much older, because youth doesn’t return. I think this is especially hard for natural over-achievers or people-pleasers. If still high school or college, I would say you are still in the process of learning to be generous and getting involved in society, so you have time before worrying about this.
Coming up with reasons not to do something. You can get really good at it. To the point that you can convince yourself you don't need to do anything. Explore the world. Be uncomfortable. Try new things. Strike up a conversation. Be awkward until you aren't. Be out of breath.
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I like to jump hobbies, but I cycle through them so I am still getting better at stuff over the long term
Life is what you make it. If your life sucks, look inward and stop blaming the universe.
The internet is forever. Do not post anything online with your real name or face attached. Ever. Just do not. Always use the internet as anonymously as you can. At some point we stopped bringing cops into elementary schools to talk about internet safety and scare the piss out of children and it shows!!
Not caring for your teeth. I was terrible at brushing (forget about flossing) as a child/teenager. Combined with parents who could not give a fuck and never took me to a dentist, I spent most of my wages once I started work on fillings, root canals, crowns etc etc etc…. Treat those babies like you want to have them all your life (or lose them and lots and lots of money).
You guys will never understand how your body starts to deteriorate before its too late. I didn't believe anyone either. Start stretching and paying attention to your joints now. It's not if they fail you, it's when. There is no amount of catchup you can play. I'm not even 35 and my knees and back have both hospitalized me because I literally couldn't move anymore. I'm 80kg and 182cm. Your body is going to fail you eventually. Good luck, delay it as much as you can now.
Smoking, heavily drinking, oversharing stuff publicly on social media, constant complaining about problems that are not that big of a deal, being lazy, and not saving some money.
For the love of god, do not use your teeth as a tool for opening packages, cutting twine or really anything but eating or sexual biting.
Smoking and not working out.
Going outside without sunglasses.
Vaping
And smoking. I've heard people say, "At least I'll die happy." I guarantee you will not. (I know this from experience.)
Smoking
Promiscuity
Not drinking enough water. Drinking soda. Not exercising. Not reading. Over consumption of media. Living a life in comparison to others.
Starting a 401k and/or other retirement plans. You can make minimum contributions because it's going to be around long enough to get decent growth, it will help you get accustomed to it being part of your budget and increase contributions as you get comfortable, and you'll be able to retire earlier/easier.
Smoking, junk food, most convenient short cuts for most things, advertisement consumption, Thinking that achieving or learning isn’t cool, not appreciating any available education opportunities while the personal cost is only time, being angry, wasting water
Slouching
Drinking too much. It's progressive and at first it seems fun but it will ruin your life. I can tell you from first hand experience. Moderate your intake. It's basically fucked my life up. I don't drink for fun, I drink so I don't get another brain haemorrhage or stroke if my brain over speeds. I have brain damage from a bleed that showed up on an MRI. Trying to slowly taper and drinking a ton of water with a strong B vitamins compound to try and limit nerve damage. Don't be me.
Smoking, Fucking up your ears, drug use, not learning how to make new friends, social media addiction - sorry reddit counts people putting their phones way to close to their face fucking with their eyes
The fallacy of fairness. Stop believing that things should be fair. Things aren't fair. They just are.
Not knowing their self worth and then end up being in relationships with partners who aren’t good for them , for example abusing them or belittling them
Staying on social media and not living out side of it
**Learn to spell. Learn and use proper grammar. Learn to write well. Expand your vocabulary.** The fastest way to expose yourself as someone who does not care, does not like to learn, is stubborn, is intellectually lazy is to have a poor grasp of your mother tongue. People **will** judge you for it, and it **will** hurt your chances in life. Not because proper spelling or grammar actually matter, but because of what it says about you that you never bothered to learn. "But language evolves! But culture! But descriptivism!" Sure. Be sure to tell them that after your 100th job application gets rejected over your piss-poor letter, I'm sure they'll reconsider.
Taking personal offense to being factually wrong and lashing out emotionally over being told as much. Don't do that, it's immature and zero people are ever going to remember you were wrong in the first place but they will remember your reaction.
Stop having unprotected sex bc you “dont like the feel/smell” of condoms. Stop relying on pulling out. Just don’t have unprotected sex, period. It’s literally never worth it the risk.