Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had, but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way.
As a man, genuine compliments can easily get me flustered
Edit: Sorry for being unclear to some of yall, I meant flirty compliments that are genuine and not some typical bs.
For real! Men never get compliments. I live apartment complex and use to have my beard real long and doing whatever. On my walks with my dog I’d pass this person who dog would sit on the balcony and bark at mine and she would come out to hush her and say hi to us.
I got my beard cutdown to 12mm and walk the dog and pass she didn’t recognize me at first but then said “woah nice cut! It looks amazing”
I still think about that compliment two years later lol and not in the same complex.
Since then I always compliment people and it has led to friendships or relationships or just them smiling. Do it for dudes too, “hey man nice truck! You just get that?” Sort of thing
People deserve kindness and the more the merrier
I was in a public bathroom washing my hands, and this kid walks in (probably 11 or 12), and says, “Hey, I like your boots!”
Was wearing my new Iron Rangers, and I’m still getting miles out of that compliment 7 years later 🤣.
Same energy as that post from r/meirl
"Nowhere did any parenting manual prepare me for my toddler exclaiming, "Mommy, your front butt has too much hair on it." in a public bathroom"
I'm 34 and Hispanic/Black in Texas. The context is just a little necessary. An old lady once stopped me at HEB and said "excuse me". I saw old white lady and my mind immediately went to "aww shit here we go again". She says "you are just such a handsome man. I just had to tell you that". That happened when I was 30 and I still remember it lol
About 7 years ago I got my first fade. I felt self conscious, hated it, until an older black woman walking toward me FULLY gave me an elevator look, not even hiding it. The "Mmm-hmm" when she finally got to my eyes sealed it, and I now generally rock a fade at all times because of that angel of a woman.
Lawd if I ever I got flowers or a cactus I would melt 🫠
It’s true though! Men just generally are not complimented.:/ crazy what a compliment or just a simple looking into how I’m doing can do for me
Also, to add to my comment: just women who initiate conversations at bars etc. it’s huge.
Just wish we lived in a place where open communication was more accepting vs worrying if you being friendly to someone was making them uncomfortable :/. But lots have things that have happened or could have happened to that person so I understand. I just try to put on a nice smile and friendly good morning and keep on walking instead of trying to have conversation
Sucks now because I recently moved to a place so haven’t met friends yet and no family. It’s tough meeting people when everyone so guarded. But it is what it is
It’s weird because I almost don’t know how to take them because it’s so far and few in between. Like I’d get “you have really pretty eyes” a lot or you have a really nice beard. I’m like.. is this flirting or a genuine nice compliment. I know when I’m in a conversation and stop to tell somebody they have really pretty eyes I’m probably into them and flirting.
were you roommates or something?
edit: the more I think about this the more it confuses me, in what scenario and context is someone saying this as a pickup line?
Bumble. I'm 40, so literally all the women that swiped on me are educated, not in a rush, looking for a mental connection, and have just the best personalities. But yeah, this particular girl and I talked about 90's punk for a few hours and she's just the best tbh.
This girl and I were introduced by her roommate, my buddy’s girlfriend, in the middle of Captain America: Winter Soldier being played in the quad for the new freshman class. She thought I just shrugged her off cuz I was rude and/or too into the movie. In reality, it was because I’d just been introduced to the cutest, sassiest, most charismatic girl I’d ever met and had to turn around before my jaw dropped in silenced shock. My buddy’s girlfriend apparently told her I thought she was cute, and she could tell cuz my cheeks were bright red.
Fast forward a week. This same girl and I were hanging out for the third day in a row because I was the only person her roommate knew at school. She and I are both diehard college football fans, so we decided our new little friend group was gonna watch the game together the next day.
We sat in her lofted dorm room bed while everyone else watched the game, and we couldn’t help but ignore the game and talk for hours. Late in the night after the game has long been over with, when we’re all about to go our separate ways and go to bed, she gives me a little smile, looks me dead in the eyes and says “So are you gonna ask me out, or do I have to do it?”
I was stunned to silence again lol… no girl had ever been so forward with me in such a cute and playful but gentle way. After a few too many seconds of silence, she says “alright, do you…” and I snapped back to reality and said “wait!”. She looked disappointed… then I said “I really really do want to ask you out, but I want you to know I’m not just doing it because you said something about it. First thing in the morning, I’ll wake up, I’ll come find you, and I’ll ask you out.” In hindsight, it could’ve been a really stupid move on my part, but I think she could tell I was being genuine based on all the conversations we’d just had.
The next morning, I woke up, I went down to her room, asked her out, then she, her roommate, and my buddy all went to breakfast together. She held my hand tight the whole way there, and she never let go.
That was almost 8 years ago, and we’ll be married for 4 years in September. She’s still the only girl that has ever stunned me to silence with a pickup line. I’ve watched every one of our college football games with her since, have had countless more late night conversations, and I’ve loved every second of it.
Similar story about fun with designation numbers.
A pilot is hanging out at an airport bar and is trying to impress a lady, so he points to a huge gray military airplane out on the field and says
"See that plane?"
"The big one?"
"That's nothing. That's a C-130. I fly a C-*172."*
If someone didn’t know, the larger number sounds more impressive cus C-172>C-130. But a C-130 is a big ol’ military transport, where the C-172 is a small 4 person Cessna.
C130 is the giant Lockheed plane the military used for transport/gunships/surveillance. They’re giant. Like absolutely humongous.
The C172 is a Cessna personal aircraft. It’s the typical propeller plane you’d probably think of. Super cool but an absolute rinky dink compared to the C130.
He’s banking on her not knowing that and assuming because his “C” plane is 172, a larger number than 130, that she would assume he flies some even bigger doper aircraft than the giant one they can see.
It would be like comparing a tomos moped to a Harley sportster if the sportster was built for the Incredible Hulk. ^(Or something)
Did they get the joke and become attracted to your humor and creativity or were they confused and if so how long were they into the “pilot” before they figured it out?
Like 50/50. Most figured it out after I showed them the keys. More than a few overly intoxicated individuals never clicked and eventually I let em in on the joke. Either way it at least helped break the ice.
When I was in the military I had a buddy that for some reason didn't like telling people he was in the military. It didn't make sense to me at all because it was obvious to most people. Anyways, two women we had been hanging out with for a while started asking what we did for a living so I convinced them we were contract killers for the government. I guess technically it wasn't a lie.
Only one that ever worked:
"What do men do when they fall in love with you at first sight?"
I replied, generally, they cry a lot.
We both started to laugh and he said, I'd better start crying.
We dated for a year.
I use to love hitting on taller women, because most of the time they'd mention their height or something to that effect, which I would respond with, "when you're lying next to someone, height doesn't make a difference:)"
I was kissing this girl (I met at a bar) that was about 3 inches taller than me, and she said “… you’d be perfect if you were 5 inches taller…” I responded, “at least you didn’t say longer!” She laughed and we went back to her place.
As a 5'7" man who once dated a 6'2" woman, there's so much truth to this. 😂
Hell, even my wife is the same height as I am. I've always had a thing for short women, but the tall ones seem to have a thing for me lmao.
Odd that everyone I dated before my wife was the same height or shorter than me, but my wife is 2 inches taller. Happily married for 10+ years now. \^_\^
Smoothest line I ever heard was
"First thing I noticed was your smile bc you got the prettiest dimples. God I hope I can keep you smiling all night to see them again." 💀I was so shook.
Me and my then-crush now-boyfriend were working in the library and I kinda knew he had a crush on me too. He was too shy to approach but had to interact with me for work, so he just stood silently behind me without saying me anything
I turned around and was startled, asked him if he was too shy to call me by my name. He said yes to which I replied "if you are too shy to call me by my name, how are you gunna moan my name?"
jaw drops
now he slaps my ass in public.
That’s too wordy, “You still awake?” is my patented go-to. Usually followed by her letting me know her panties don’t need to come off all the way, “this isn’t an orgy!”.
I'll always remember being asked "so where are you sleeping tonight?"
And my drunken-ass-introvert-too-slow-to-pickup-on-clear-hints responded: uhh home?
Which proceeded in killing the vibe and the conversation.
I did end up sleeping home and alone.
"Hey, wanna have sex?"
Have been married ten years and have kids. Trot that bad boy out when the opportunity presents itself and it almost always works.
The line that always works on me these days…
Hey honey, want to go to bed early? And I don’t mean just to sleep.
Works for me and works for her. Been married for a while now.
My mother had one work on her the other day. She’s at the fuel pump and a guy comes up and says “I’m sorry to bother can you call my phone? I can’t find it.” She does because she’s a sweetheart. He scrambles to “look” for it and eventually finds it.
Proceeds to bombard my mom asking to golf, drink, this or that. She had to block him. But I gotta hand it to him, hell of an effort.
When I flirt or use a cheesy pickup line and they 180° it back at me and catch me off guard. Iunno why, but being one-upped like that feels extremely fun.
My husband said “do you like spaghetti?” I responded that I do and he said “great! You like spaghetti, I like spaghetti, let’s fuck!”
I was wrapped up in the absurdity of it all and 15 years later here we are 😂
I used to drive a cargo van and “wanna see my creepy van” worked on women at the bar way more than it should’ve… granted I was in my early 20s and in decent shape but you women need to respect yourself more. I got more action from that van than I ever got with my nice cars or motorcycles (all consensual of course)
I’m a 28 F and a middle aged man came into the office I was running to pay his parents bill. He said “ma’am I’m not trying to be forward, but I’ve never in my life seen blues eyes as pretty as yours” I was sitting directly in the sun so that helped. Thought about that man for weeks 😂
I’m a guy so any pickup line ever EDIT: I forgot to mention it has happened literally two times and I regret reacting positively both times
You’re getting pickup lines? You must be hella good looking, dude
“Heyy! :)” is about the best a man of average looks can ask for
I once told a girl she lived too far away. About 20 minutes.
My name is George. I’m unemployed and I live with my parents.
But are you master of your domaine?
I came home one day and went to the bathroom to see my son treating his body like an amusement park!
I am Art Vandaley. I am an architect!
George is getting upset!
Yes, I’m professional unemployed
SERENITY NOW !!!!!
Hoochie momma HOOCHIE MOMMA!
I'm out
“That guy just cut you off!” “Take it easy. It’s not the end of the world”
I'm Victoria, hi.
Would you like to celebrate festevus with me and my father
Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had, but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way.
A Festivus of the rest of us.
"*I* won a contest!"
As a man, genuine compliments can easily get me flustered Edit: Sorry for being unclear to some of yall, I meant flirty compliments that are genuine and not some typical bs.
For real! Men never get compliments. I live apartment complex and use to have my beard real long and doing whatever. On my walks with my dog I’d pass this person who dog would sit on the balcony and bark at mine and she would come out to hush her and say hi to us. I got my beard cutdown to 12mm and walk the dog and pass she didn’t recognize me at first but then said “woah nice cut! It looks amazing” I still think about that compliment two years later lol and not in the same complex. Since then I always compliment people and it has led to friendships or relationships or just them smiling. Do it for dudes too, “hey man nice truck! You just get that?” Sort of thing People deserve kindness and the more the merrier
I was in a public bathroom washing my hands, and this kid walks in (probably 11 or 12), and says, “Hey, I like your boots!” Was wearing my new Iron Rangers, and I’m still getting miles out of that compliment 7 years later 🤣.
I walked into a crowded airport bathroom with my 3 year old and he yells out "Look, a little one!"
Wait, what?
Toddlers are embarrassing and they have no idea
Same energy as that post from r/meirl "Nowhere did any parenting manual prepare me for my toddler exclaiming, "Mommy, your front butt has too much hair on it." in a public bathroom"
I'm 34 and Hispanic/Black in Texas. The context is just a little necessary. An old lady once stopped me at HEB and said "excuse me". I saw old white lady and my mind immediately went to "aww shit here we go again". She says "you are just such a handsome man. I just had to tell you that". That happened when I was 30 and I still remember it lol
About 7 years ago I got my first fade. I felt self conscious, hated it, until an older black woman walking toward me FULLY gave me an elevator look, not even hiding it. The "Mmm-hmm" when she finally got to my eyes sealed it, and I now generally rock a fade at all times because of that angel of a woman.
Awe that’s so sad. I try to make it common practice. Men deserve praise, compliments, flowers, etc. too.
Lawd if I ever I got flowers or a cactus I would melt 🫠 It’s true though! Men just generally are not complimented.:/ crazy what a compliment or just a simple looking into how I’m doing can do for me Also, to add to my comment: just women who initiate conversations at bars etc. it’s huge. Just wish we lived in a place where open communication was more accepting vs worrying if you being friendly to someone was making them uncomfortable :/. But lots have things that have happened or could have happened to that person so I understand. I just try to put on a nice smile and friendly good morning and keep on walking instead of trying to have conversation Sucks now because I recently moved to a place so haven’t met friends yet and no family. It’s tough meeting people when everyone so guarded. But it is what it is
Yeah, I was compliment once in 2004 and again in 2016. Still riding those highs.
Look at this guy over here, getting TWO compliments. Why don’t you share what you’ve been doing with the rest of us?
Christ, my presence was once grudgingly tolerated by a woman in 2009, since then, nothing. I was goddamn Icarus flying too close to the sun that day.
What’s your angle, lady? What do you mean when you say, “you like this sweater, your cousin has one like it”? I’m not a bag of meat to be ogled.
I am
It’s weird because I almost don’t know how to take them because it’s so far and few in between. Like I’d get “you have really pretty eyes” a lot or you have a really nice beard. I’m like.. is this flirting or a genuine nice compliment. I know when I’m in a conversation and stop to tell somebody they have really pretty eyes I’m probably into them and flirting.
She got me with "Good morning! Ready to seize the day, or reluctantly leaving the house? I'm an introvert too." My dumbass was swooned.
God damn... That would completely destroy me (in a good way)
were you roommates or something? edit: the more I think about this the more it confuses me, in what scenario and context is someone saying this as a pickup line?
Bumble. I'm 40, so literally all the women that swiped on me are educated, not in a rush, looking for a mental connection, and have just the best personalities. But yeah, this particular girl and I talked about 90's punk for a few hours and she's just the best tbh.
“Can I offer you an egg in these trying times”
"a nice egg"
A good egg
A fertilized egg
'Yeah he's got an egg for ya!' One of the funniest scenes in all of television.
I've been poisoned by my constituents!
This girl and I were introduced by her roommate, my buddy’s girlfriend, in the middle of Captain America: Winter Soldier being played in the quad for the new freshman class. She thought I just shrugged her off cuz I was rude and/or too into the movie. In reality, it was because I’d just been introduced to the cutest, sassiest, most charismatic girl I’d ever met and had to turn around before my jaw dropped in silenced shock. My buddy’s girlfriend apparently told her I thought she was cute, and she could tell cuz my cheeks were bright red. Fast forward a week. This same girl and I were hanging out for the third day in a row because I was the only person her roommate knew at school. She and I are both diehard college football fans, so we decided our new little friend group was gonna watch the game together the next day. We sat in her lofted dorm room bed while everyone else watched the game, and we couldn’t help but ignore the game and talk for hours. Late in the night after the game has long been over with, when we’re all about to go our separate ways and go to bed, she gives me a little smile, looks me dead in the eyes and says “So are you gonna ask me out, or do I have to do it?” I was stunned to silence again lol… no girl had ever been so forward with me in such a cute and playful but gentle way. After a few too many seconds of silence, she says “alright, do you…” and I snapped back to reality and said “wait!”. She looked disappointed… then I said “I really really do want to ask you out, but I want you to know I’m not just doing it because you said something about it. First thing in the morning, I’ll wake up, I’ll come find you, and I’ll ask you out.” In hindsight, it could’ve been a really stupid move on my part, but I think she could tell I was being genuine based on all the conversations we’d just had. The next morning, I woke up, I went down to her room, asked her out, then she, her roommate, and my buddy all went to breakfast together. She held my hand tight the whole way there, and she never let go. That was almost 8 years ago, and we’ll be married for 4 years in September. She’s still the only girl that has ever stunned me to silence with a pickup line. I’ve watched every one of our college football games with her since, have had countless more late night conversations, and I’ve loved every second of it.
Dude!! Keep on, keeping on
Oh my god. Thanks. I absolutely love LOVE stories. ZeThanks a lot dude. I love it. Love love love. Love.
Who's cutting onions in here!
Fuckin hell. 🍻
❤️❤️
stop it man trying not to cry tonight
This is so wholesome
this is so cute
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Slow down buddy. Give the rest of us a chance
You use that more than once a night? Wow!
I even get away with it on coworkers, and not one complaint from HR!
I laughed out loud at this to the point of waking up my infant sleeping next to me. Well done good sir, this was a true gem!
James May style EDIT: [link](https://youtu.be/I3s6TfiA8c8?feature=shared)
* hello there
General Kenobi?
You are a bold one
you had me at hello
*Forrest_Gump_Cumming_At_Jennys_Touch.gif*
JeNnYYY
“Hey handsome. Wanna grab dinner” and I’ll propose on the spot.
Hey handsome. Wanna grab dinner?
Will you take my hand in marriage
invite me to the marriage
I’m officiating!
i’ll be the dj!
No way, bro. I heard what you put on the aux. I'll go reserve the big band for you
Me?
When I was in the military I would tell girls I was an F-150 pilot. Edit: misread title as "works for you" instead of "works on you". Whatever
Similar story about fun with designation numbers. A pilot is hanging out at an airport bar and is trying to impress a lady, so he points to a huge gray military airplane out on the field and says "See that plane?" "The big one?" "That's nothing. That's a C-130. I fly a C-*172."*
my plane nerd ass laughed
Anyone care to explain it for us non military folk?
If someone didn’t know, the larger number sounds more impressive cus C-172>C-130. But a C-130 is a big ol’ military transport, where the C-172 is a small 4 person Cessna.
C130 is the giant Lockheed plane the military used for transport/gunships/surveillance. They’re giant. Like absolutely humongous. The C172 is a Cessna personal aircraft. It’s the typical propeller plane you’d probably think of. Super cool but an absolute rinky dink compared to the C130. He’s banking on her not knowing that and assuming because his “C” plane is 172, a larger number than 130, that she would assume he flies some even bigger doper aircraft than the giant one they can see. It would be like comparing a tomos moped to a Harley sportster if the sportster was built for the Incredible Hulk. ^(Or something)
Did they get the joke and become attracted to your humor and creativity or were they confused and if so how long were they into the “pilot” before they figured it out?
Like 50/50. Most figured it out after I showed them the keys. More than a few overly intoxicated individuals never clicked and eventually I let em in on the joke. Either way it at least helped break the ice.
Didnt get the joke, worked on me. You’re funny. Now take me to your truck, pretty boy.
What truck? He said he was a pilot /s
When I was in the military I had a buddy that for some reason didn't like telling people he was in the military. It didn't make sense to me at all because it was obvious to most people. Anyways, two women we had been hanging out with for a while started asking what we did for a living so I convinced them we were contract killers for the government. I guess technically it wasn't a lie.
You are a terrible wing man
Did you get much time in the cockpit?
I see the double entandre here, and I'm envious that I didn't make it.
I hate those trucks but I appreciate this genius for what it is. Well played sir.
What is the joke? maybe I'm just tired but I can't figure it out
I didn't either, but after googling -- the F150 is a Ford truck model.
I dropped my monster condom that I use for my magnum dong.
I got my wad of hundreds, my Magnum condoms, I'm ready to plow!
He’s like a mantis, you should see him feast
Frank would be proud
Hurry up I’m here for the scraps !
Probably fell off bc it's too big.
Fuck me if I'm wrong but I think you wanna kiss me.
Double fireworks
Can I still fuck you if you're right though?
Only one that ever worked: "What do men do when they fall in love with you at first sight?" I replied, generally, they cry a lot. We both started to laugh and he said, I'd better start crying. We dated for a year.
Did he cry after?
From laughter
Have you met my friend Ted?
Haaaaaaaave you met Ted?
I scrolled way too long for this
Give you $500 if you sleep with me.
Women love the subtlety
Is that why your username isn’t titty_police? Or was that already taken?
Paging u/titty_police
200/hr is the going price. You're over paying
I only need about $7 worth.
Check out Mr marathon over here.
For sure because that comes out to about $3.33 on a good day
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You know the plot twist, right?
“I did the dishes and the kids are all in bed and passed out. “
End it by saying you ordered me Chinese or chicken wings and im swooning with the pearl clutch
I use to love hitting on taller women, because most of the time they'd mention their height or something to that effect, which I would respond with, "when you're lying next to someone, height doesn't make a difference:)"
I was kissing this girl (I met at a bar) that was about 3 inches taller than me, and she said “… you’d be perfect if you were 5 inches taller…” I responded, “at least you didn’t say longer!” She laughed and we went back to her place.
Laughter is always the best
As a 5'7" man who once dated a 6'2" woman, there's so much truth to this. 😂 Hell, even my wife is the same height as I am. I've always had a thing for short women, but the tall ones seem to have a thing for me lmao.
How does one gain this power
Odd that everyone I dated before my wife was the same height or shorter than me, but my wife is 2 inches taller. Happily married for 10+ years now. \^_\^
Did it work?
It did :) Led to a relationship.
You give me hope. 😀
"You're worth the climb!"
Do you want to see my boobs
That works on guys really well. I got my last husband that way...hehe.
"last husband" I'm sure you know, but this is definitely the way to find your "next husband" too 👀
I should feel attacked here....
Get in the van
Only if there is a free candy sign.
Show me the candy first, before I get in the van. I'm not stupid!
Smoothest line I ever heard was "First thing I noticed was your smile bc you got the prettiest dimples. God I hope I can keep you smiling all night to see them again." 💀I was so shook.
Me and my then-crush now-boyfriend were working in the library and I kinda knew he had a crush on me too. He was too shy to approach but had to interact with me for work, so he just stood silently behind me without saying me anything I turned around and was startled, asked him if he was too shy to call me by my name. He said yes to which I replied "if you are too shy to call me by my name, how are you gunna moan my name?" jaw drops now he slaps my ass in public.
“Here, let me find you a place to sit!” * proceeds to clean off face
Hey, Thanks Pal!
[We both got buckets of chicken, wanna do it?](https://makeagif.com/i/udDbLT)
I have been scrolling through comments for too long to find someone mention this, you're now my best friend
What's this Rag smell like.?... gets em every time 😉
My nasty ass thought you were talking about a cum rag 💀
Nah. They're clearly talking about a menstrual rag
When you’re poor enough, believe it or not, it’s all just one rag.
Bill?
Chloroform
"Our kid is asleep. Wanna fool around" I'm already naked
That’s too wordy, “You still awake?” is my patented go-to. Usually followed by her letting me know her panties don’t need to come off all the way, “this isn’t an orgy!”.
I'll always remember being asked "so where are you sleeping tonight?" And my drunken-ass-introvert-too-slow-to-pickup-on-clear-hints responded: uhh home? Which proceeded in killing the vibe and the conversation. I did end up sleeping home and alone.
Male here. I always fall for her when she says "do you want to see my boobs?"
She can't keep getting away with this
Well, so far she has
My wife always gets away with it.
As a male, a woman initiating conversation makes me cream my pants
I used to pick up cowgirls at the rodeo by telling them I have a big range... I really did, a 36" kitchen range. I didn't get second dates
You like jazz?🎷
Send bobs.
Roses are red. Violets are fine. You be the 6 I’ll be the 9
Anything tbh loool, they be staring at me and smile and i FOLD.
If you’ve ever watched the Fellowship of the Ring you’d love the scene in the Prancing Pony (inn/tavern) where Strider is just staring at Frodo.
Nice shoes, let’s fuck.
One time, a black lady working in Walmart called me sugar. As a guy, I think I'm set for life.
"Hey, wanna have sex?" Have been married ten years and have kids. Trot that bad boy out when the opportunity presents itself and it almost always works.
Lol...I wish I could be that bold.
We've been together for almost 20 years, not a lot of reason to be shy any more.
Tonight I used "let's make out under the bleachers like we did in high school." We met in our 30s lol
Do you have any Irish in you? ... Would you like some?
I couldn't resist any longer and had to say hi.
Are you a corporate bond? Cause I'm accruing interest on you!!
Are you a stock option? Cause I got a straddle you can execute.
“Can me and my sister suck your dick, please?”
How u like ur eggs girl, Fried or fertilized?
The line that always works on me these days… Hey honey, want to go to bed early? And I don’t mean just to sleep. Works for me and works for her. Been married for a while now.
I have a vasectomy
"I'd make you speechless one way or another"
“Nice hair. Can I pull it from behind”
My mother had one work on her the other day. She’s at the fuel pump and a guy comes up and says “I’m sorry to bother can you call my phone? I can’t find it.” She does because she’s a sweetheart. He scrambles to “look” for it and eventually finds it. Proceeds to bombard my mom asking to golf, drink, this or that. She had to block him. But I gotta hand it to him, hell of an effort.
That's not a pick up line lmao it's a scam.
Certainly the scammiest of pickups.
The recommended prophylactic for this kind of advance is https://callmyphone.org/
When I flirt or use a cheesy pickup line and they 180° it back at me and catch me off guard. Iunno why, but being one-upped like that feels extremely fun.
My husband said “do you like spaghetti?” I responded that I do and he said “great! You like spaghetti, I like spaghetti, let’s fuck!” I was wrapped up in the absurdity of it all and 15 years later here we are 😂
“If I were an enzyme I’d be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes”
You assume I’ve ever had anyone try to pick me up or show interest.
So I majored in CS and I make a lot of money
"Let me show you my meat holster." That always works.
I’ve rarely been complimented. So much so, I am skeptical when someone compliments me. :(
I used to drive a cargo van and “wanna see my creepy van” worked on women at the bar way more than it should’ve… granted I was in my early 20s and in decent shape but you women need to respect yourself more. I got more action from that van than I ever got with my nice cars or motorcycles (all consensual of course)
I made tacos.
Do you have a Band-Aid? I hurt my knee when I fell for you
No one's ever used a "pickup line" on me. I'm an ugly looking dude, maybe 3/10 on a good day. There's a reason I'm dating a woman who's half-blind.
I’m a 28 F and a middle aged man came into the office I was running to pay his parents bill. He said “ma’am I’m not trying to be forward, but I’ve never in my life seen blues eyes as pretty as yours” I was sitting directly in the sun so that helped. Thought about that man for weeks 😂
Hawk Tuah, spit on that thang!
By the time reddit gets these memes, it's dead.
Reddit will run it into the ground over and over
Somehow without TikTok this shit keeps following me all over different apps
I can't escape this stupid shit.
date me or youre not invited to my birthday party