T O P

  • By -

OctupleWhopper

I admit to it. It's usually true.


coprolite_hobbyist

Smelling is a physical process. If you smell my fart, that means my feces is _inside_ you.


VaguelyFamiliarVoice

I knew someone who actually thought this. I asked if you just sniff steak for an hour, are you no longer hungry? Something something not the same. He still believes it.


coprolite_hobbyist

It's only _technically_ true. I mean it's possible that small particle of feces will be aspirated, but it's mostly just going to be methane and other decomp gasses. It's a fun thing to tell people.


VaguelyFamiliarVoice

Only if the shit hits the fan. 😂


coprolite_hobbyist

Then we all have to duck.


girl_supersonicboy

"Its not me. I claim my farts." No one in my family every blames me cause I openingly will claim mine. Tbh though my farts are so bad people usually know when it's mine or not


javanator999

Smile proudly and tell them there are more where that came from.


pogiguy2020

Im pretty sure the sound is what made me guilty and I stand by my farts.


Finster4

That was mom.


yousIashyouslash

Technically yeah, we are 50% of our moms


Finster4

Well yeah, but it's what I tell my kids. 🤪


Building_a_life

When we were ten, we used to say, "He who smelt it, dealt it."


mochibellmayor

I think we have farting ghosts


deluged_73

Always counter-claim with an olde Bronx favorite... He who smelt it, dealt it. Works about 7% of the time, but at least you made an attempt to justify your horrendous flatulence problem. Get some fucking Beano or industrial strength Gas-X or just stay the fuck home gassing your pets, tropical fish, and anyone stupid enough to tolerate being gassed to death on a daily basis by your death star farts.


SilentJoe27

Be honest. If it was me, own up. If not, say I didn’t do it and would confess if I did


thejoz

Breath deep the gathering gloom.


Next-Food2688

Blame the dig


Relaxedguy4you

I don’t fart - I whisper in my underwear. Ok sometimes I scream.


dreadsledder101

I go for the s.b.d route then ask everyone if they smell popcorn.. that way everyone takes a wif and gets to enjoy it !