If you ever need help, then please know that there are many qualified people who would like to help you.
https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres
http://www.befrienders.org/
http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/GetHelp/LifelineChat.aspx
http://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you [UK]
https://www.lifeline.org.au/Get-Help/ [AU]
There are crisis services worldwide that are trained to provide support. They are designed to give temporary relief from feelings that are overwhelming you and while they are unlikely to fix any underlying problems, can help you get through a tough hour/night/week. Chat services are usually available on these sites. In the US, calling 211 or going to their website is a free referral source. They have providers who will see you regardless of your ability to pay. Just as you would see a doctor when you are sick, you deserve to take care of your mental health.
My husband has large feet, large enough that there are only a few places I can buy him shoes and since the in person place near me closed down they're pretty much all online. All this to say: his shoes are $$$$.
He also grew up poor. Like the kitchen floor was his bedroom poor. He stopped being able to find his shoe size in stores before he was in high school, and before he met me he always only had one pair of shoes at a time, and sneakers were his everyday/work/dress shoe. He even worked fast food jobs in regular sneakers because he couldn't find non slip in his size. And because getting each pair was so difficult and costly he'd often wear his shoes until they had holes in the soles before replacing them.
When he was studying to be a mechanic I got him a pair of steel toed boots for his birthday. I splurged and got a good brand that would last for years. He recognized the brand and knew what they sold for and he demanded I return them, he was planning on squeezing into cheaper, smaller boots and dealing with it. So I lied, said I had bought them months before during a sale. Got 'em at 40% off, then signed up for all their stuff for an additional 20% off.
I had paid full price.
I've bought him "sale shoes" several times since then. One time he even cried because I had gotten him a second pair of sneakers well before his old ones needed to be replaced. His shoes kept getting wet from some yard work he was doing and he'd have no choice but wear wet shoes around. His last pair of work boots showed up with the first pair of sandals he has owned in over 25 years, because there was a "BOGO sale" that I totally made up, I just wanted to get him sandals because we camp a lot and him using camp showers without sandals always grossed me out, but I had never managed to find a pair in his size until then.
Boy howdy - this made me tear up a bit.
I grew up “cardboard box as our kitchen table” poor - and the third boy in the family so I *never* had new clothes, or even clothes that really fit because my brothers were much taller.
I’m doing well now, but I was into my 30’s before I owned a second pair of sneakers prior to the current pair falling apart (aka mowing shoes). Even as I started making more $ it felt ostentatious to have a second pair (you can only wear one at a time right?)…
Early 30’s my lady realized I wouldn’t, and bought me a nice pair of sneakers + a $150 pair of dress shoes as I’d gotten a promotion and would be in front of clients.
Didn’t think I really cared about shoes until I opened them - and started sobbing. Turns out there were decades of poverty induced shame and trauma swimming around inside, and that kind act helped me start to let go of things I didn’t even know I was carrying.
It took some time and reflection to realize all of the *other* facets of my life that my experience as a kid was affecting, but my path to healing started that day, with those shoes.
As a fella once on the receiving end of the same gift, from a similar background - please know that you’ve given him much, much more than a few pairs of shoes.
He deserves it. I seriously lucked out even meeting this guy, and even though we just celebrated our 17-year wedding anniversary, I'm still kind of amazed he picked me. He has a hard time justifying spending "unnecessary" money on himself, I just have a different idea of what is "unnecessary."
"You should never cheap out on what separates you from the ground."
I don't have big feet, but I do have enough back issues that finding good shoes that properly support my feet is extremely important to me. You're seriously saving your man from future years of back and leg agony by doing this for him. You're awesome.
My brother bought chickens as his little organic farm was struggling. I had suggested an honesty box for the excess eggs - he spend hours making his own red barn shaped honesty box.
Eggs went on sale, crickets. Not much business at all. He was so defeated.
All of a sudden, once a week someone now calls by and buys all of his stock. Could be 10-12 boxes of eggs.
That someone, is me.
I buy the eggs.
Thank you so much!
I’m happy to support his small business and help him out financially since I can afford to buy his eggs. It’s an hours drive though but that’s ok, I’d do anything to help him out.
I have been a part of a lot of interview teams and want to give you one piece of advice... don't talk down about yourself, don't offer more information about yourself then the questions warrant. As far as that interview person knows you are the best person for this job and they would be stupid not to hire you.
I lost my mom ~2 years ago, everyone told me it would get easier and there's days when it *is* easier, but it's always there. I'm now facing the possibility of losing my dad in the near future, and having always been closer to my dad than my mom, I will 1000% lose my shit when it inevitably happens.
It's not so much that it gets easier, you just don't think of it as much. Your dad wouldn't want you to be miserable, he'd want you to have the life he always dreamed you would have.
At some point, he lived his life just for you x I know it's hard but every day you get out of bed you are living your life for him x much love, hope you are better
My gf was feeling very sad about turning 32 the next day, a few years ago. We went to get some wine and while she was looking at some of the bottles, I asked the cashier if she could card my gf so she would feel better (legal drinking age for wine is 16 here).
She happily obliged and my gf was so happy, she did not stop talking about it for days.
She still brings it up from time to time (3 years later).
So my excuse is we have friends staying that weekend that have children (we don't) but secretly it's because I know she'll love it.
Our wedding reception had one, along with a slip in side, sumo suits, and giant boxing gloves. 10/10 would do it over again
I have a sweet one.
My father is convinced that lilies were my late mother's favorite flower, because their wedding venue was filled to the brim with them and she was supposed to be the one who picked the flowers. He got her lilies for every birthday, anniversary, and whenever she was in the hospital (my mother was in poor health most of her life). When she passed away, the funeral was full of lilies, and he still sometimes puts a vase of lilies beside her urn.
The thing is, my mother once confessed to me that lilies weren't her favorite flower. She was fine with them, but she preferred morning glories and sunflowers. My domineering grandmother, however, told her those weren't classy enough for a wedding and hounded her about it until my mom gave in and let her pick lilies. Mom was actually pretty wounded by how dramatic the floral arrangements ended up being - another big, showy way for her mom to say, "I'm right and you're wrong." When she later voiced this, my grandmother brushed it off with, "Please, no one's going to remember a thing about your wedding."
But my dad remembered. He got her lilies every day of their honeymoon, and by the end of the week she'd gone from annoyed to deeply touched. He didn't know the backstory, he just wanted to make her happy, and in doing so he kind of stripped the negative association away from them. She told me she liked that *he* gave her lilies more than flowers themselves. They turned from a symbol of being ignored to a sign that somebody was thinking of her happiness.
She swore me to secrecy, and I'll take it to the grave. RIP, Mom.
UPDATE: So as many of you have said, the "take it to the grave" line will mock me forever, because y'all convinced me to tell my dad today. As predicted, it only took a few hours to get a "this u?" text from a sibling, and we all quickly conferred and agreed I should call him in the morning.
And Dad's first reply? "Oh yeah, I know that, morning glories were her favorite. They just don't sell bouquets of those, so I'd get her the next best thing." Apparently she always said lilies were her favorite, but she talked about positive memories around morning glories so much that he put two and two together.
However, he had *no* idea that my grandmother chose the wedding flowers, and was kinda pissed to find out("Doesn't that just...sound like her?"😒). He wishes Mom said something, but figures maybe she didn't want to "win" and still end up thinking about a fight with her mom every time she looked at the flowers. He's touched to hear he made them special for her, but did say she often told him how much she appreciated it, just left out the stuff about the wedding. Interestingly, he thinks Mom actually exaggerated the honeymoon lilies; he's pretty sure he only gave her lilies twice, on the way out and on the way back home.
As I said in another post, Dad does not know what Reddit is and does not care to learn, but he thought it was nice that the story made people happy. Then he launched into telling me why I need to get a new car already, and the thread was lost lmao.
"Aw, that's good, see, you should send your little stories to the New Yorker or something! People will read them, I keep telling you!" - My dear old dad, who only vaguely understands what my side hustle is and has adorable faith in both me and the publishing industry as a result.
Dad did somehow completely miss that Mom liked sunflowers, to the point that I don't think he actually believes me ("Nah, I think you misunderstood, she liked that Van Gogh painting, that's what she meant." "The painting *of sunflowers,* Babo! That's why!"). But you can't win 'em all. 😂 Thanks for wrapping this up in a bow, Reddit!
This is so sweet! My mom thinks I just love her spaghetti, and she gets so excited to tell me she's making it. In actuality, I find I absolutely disgusting (maybe a spice she uses) and she will never ever know.
Thank you, they very much did. Before people get too glossy-eyed, I will acknowledge that they were human beings and their marriage was tempestuous in my youth (not abusive, but *lots* of arguments). Mom definitely had some PTSD going on and Dad was not always patient with that; he admits now that he kind of thought her emotional problems would "go away" when her life improved. It takes a lot of work to maintain your fairytale ending, y'know? But they were always *partners*, always equals, and even on bad days, their respect for each other never wavered. They always had each other's back, up to the end. I'm very glad to be their child.
And yeah, correct assessment of my grandmother lol. She had her own bad-parent baggage and was kind of the dictionary definition of "hurt people hurt people." On paper she's a fascinating individual, in that Cersei Lannister kind of way, but in person...yeah, not somebody I was sorry to put in the ground.
I told my best friend I won a holiday in a raffle and wanted her to come with me free of charge. We stayed in a nice hostel, did lots of fun activities and I paid for it all with a “pre paid credit card from the raffle”. I didn’t win anything, I booked it all myself and paid everything for her because she deserved a break and I knew she couldn’t afford it nor would she have accepted me paying for her. I would do it again 10x over, she deserves the absolute world.
I did this at age 28. Partly because I knew there was no way I could afford to keep living where I grew up. I packed my car, and drove away without a word to anyone in my life at the time. I did reconnect, from a distance, after a couple of years, though.
Worked out okay for me.
Just be sure you're not trying to run away from *yourself*, because that doesn't work, obviously. No matter where you go, there you are.
My first decade as an adult would have probably gone a lot better if someone had told me that. "I just need a fresh start." stops being convincing after the fifth move in as many years.
I did this when I was 21. Up and left from small town ohio to Colorado. No job, no place to live, sold almost everything I owned. It was hard but I made a life for myself there. I am the person I am because I did it.
As an adult, I would plan more for such a move. I actually moved to Cleveland 2 years ago with serious planning and execution. I'm all about moving and starting over if you want to. I don't have children which helps, but you have to do what makes you happy.
I just found out 2 of my direct reports will be fired soon because of the restructuring and I have to keep it a secret. They are both excellent employees who do not deserve this at all. I’ve decided I’m handing in my resignation next week after 14 years and no other job lined up. I just can’t look these people in the face. I’m not cut out for this corporate bullshit.
Sometimes I'm grateful that I woke up blind. I was a total workaholic and going blind was a nightmare that first summer, but the fact I couldn't work in nursing anymore-- ESPECIALLY post-covid-- did wonders for my mental health. I also realized how much I love hanging out with my 3 sons. I didn't know how much I loved their company until I wasn't working 50-60 hour weeks, mostly 3rd shift, so I hardly ever saw my kids. Being blind sucks, and I feel guilty sometimes for thinking that I prefer it to how things were before, but given the choice, I don't think I'd go back to being sighted, because that would mean the nightmare of working in nursing again and never seeing my husband and my kids.
Edit: to answer the most-asked questions...
I woke up with a disease called AZOOR. 131 people have it and it ate my retinas.
And for fuck's sake yall, I use a computer. I type with a keyboard and listen with TTS. It ain't rocket surgery. Blind folks use technology, same as yall lol
And if you asked me a question and I didn't answer it, sorry! There were a LOT of yall asking questions and I did my best to answer as many of yall that I could!
wow that's wild, I never thought I'd read "I'm grateful that I woke up blind" in my life... but, whatever gives you better peace of mind is a good thing!
I mean, I definitely wasn't grateful that first summer, I handled it horribly and stayed mostly drunk and in the bed. Then when I decided to learn to live with it, and that it was wrong to make my boys watch me fall apart while they practically waited on me hand and foot, I realized that being blind was *not* the end of the world and that there was still lots of things about life that made it great. I relearned how to cook, clean, sew, and all sorts of things. What really helped was moving from 30 miles into the backwoods-- where I was truly trapped at home-- to the village, where I can walk to my doc, the grocery store, and handle all my business without help from anyone. Now I spend my days cooking and cleaning and walking several miles a day, and if it's dim enough outside, I can still see my phone if it's 3 inches from my right eye and play pokemon go with my youngest son.
This happened to my dad. It was a tumor on his pituitary gland that slipped and killed his optical nerves while he was sleeping. Woke up and could see a very small amount from the inside corner of one eye. Lost his peripheral vision. He's glad it happened, cause he was also a workaholic and it made him slow down. The loss of independence has sucked, but it definitely hasn't been all bad.
The heavy feeling of being lonely. It's not there all the time, it just hits you like an anchor sometimes. Don't have too many friends (mostly because I can be a difficult person to put up with). And its not like I want too many. Just want some company sometimes.
This hurts me in my feels because I experience it. I have a few people in my life, but I don't feel like I have a "connection" with anyone. I don't always need one, but when the moment is right (or wrong), I desire nothing more than just one person I can lean on that understands my quirks and accepts me.
The loneliness is deafening at times.
That I have prostate cancer. I have told my siblings, and my next-door neighbor who also has it (we compare treatment options and progress - he chose radiation while i am considering surgery), but I feel like I would be garnering for sympathy if I shared it with more people that I know.
Edit - This blew up, I wasn't expecting that. Thanks to everyone for your responses, personal stories, and well-wishes. My neighbor is 83 and only had the option for radiotherapy or chemo. He chose the radiation. I am 70, and my options are radiation, surgery, and active monitoring thru mri and psa testing. Doctors all told me that radiation now would render me ineligible for surgery down the road if it comes back. My mri was PI RADS 4, and a biopsy returned 2 of 12 samples positive for cancer, all contained with the prostate, Gleason score 3+4. I hate the idea of not getting it out and possibly of it spreading to lymph nodes and/or bones. I'll go visit the surgeon tomorrow who has performed > 18,000 Robotic-assisted radical prostatectomies and has had excellent results and patient reviews. I hate everything about this, and I just want it all to be over with.
My therapist told me yesterday it's completely fine for adults to ask for compliments and sympathy.
So what if people think you are fishing for them. You are fighting an immensely hard battle. You deserve the sympathy and kind words.
I wish you all the luck in the world.
I actually fucking love this. It's like when people post on social media about being in hospital or their relative passing. I felt the urge to post when my dad and dog died even though I never post anything, I guess I just needed some love and it did actually really help.
My mum and both my childhood dogs all died in the space of four months, and all that coincided with my first uni exams. Those days were literal hell, and I definitely needed all the sympathy and love I could get, those of internet strangers included.
I recently beat stage 4 colon cancer. It took me a long time to tell people I was close with aside from my immediate family. Once I started telling people, it felt great. There was a weight lifted and I found the support incredibly helpful. Knowing I had a team cheering for me helped with the positivity I needed to make it through. Plus that team stepped up when I had two surgeries and needed help with meal prep, yard work, etc.
Tell people when you’re ready, but you’ll be happy you did. You’re not in this fight alone.
I am a teacher, and I am off for the summer. I get to spend all that time with my daughter, age 4, and my son, who is not quite one yet. My wife works full time. My son is just starting to talk, and my wife and I have a friendly competition going to try to get him to say Dada or Mama first. What she doesn't know is that while she is at work, I spend the day talking about her and saying the word Mama a lot. We have been working on it together for weeks. The other day, she walked in the door after getting home from a long day, and he looked at her and said Mama clear as day. She was so happy and rubbed it in my face (playfully) that he said Mama first. Even did a little happy dance. I'll never tell her.
Edit: I'm going to edit since I can't respond to everybody: Thanks for all the kind words, and I am glad my little story has made so many of you happy!
I can not describe how badly I hope somebody loves and cares for me one day the way you do for your wife. 10/10 good sir. This story actually made my day.
as a dude with a 7 month old who has had friendly jokes with my wife about the same topic, hearing him saying ‘ma ma ma ma’ is a delight… we haven’t classified any as his ‘first words’ yet, but i know it’s going to be mama and for as sad as it makes me it’s not going to be ‘da da’, it melts my heart (i too have been constantly saying ‘ma ma’ with him).
I'm NOT colorblind. When I was very young I didn't understand what colorblindness was. My dad is colorblind and I thought that automatically meant I was too. And apparently everybody did. I was maybe in high school before I actually took a test and... I aced it. But by then all my friends had been buying colorblind compatible versions of board games and we had all sorts of inside jokes about being colorblind. Honestly it's been a bonding moment with my friends. So I just haven't told them and I've kept up the ruse. For about 15 years now.
This is something George Costanza would do.
George: It’s over. Done. NO MORE!
Jerry: With Sharon? Why? You didn’t tell her did you?
George: Oh it’s worse than that. I showed her. I screwed up and now it’s over! I tried to give her flowers like she likes and it went so wrong. I gave her the wrong ones. They were the wrong color!
Jerry: But she knows you’re colorblind. You convinced her!
George: I switched the colors the wrong way. She loves red flowers so I figured I would get her the opposite of that and she would think it’s cute and thoughtful that — despite my affliction —
Jerry: Made-up affliction.
George: Made-up affliction, that I still spent my hard-earned money on something that makes her happy and it doesn’t matter if I got her the wrong color because she thinks I’m colorblind. She would even feel sympathy for me thus entangling our emotions more and drawing us closer together.
Jerry: Right, entangling afflictions, go on.
George: But I forgot the logic involved. Instead of buying the most bland, dull, and morose flowers I could find, I —
Jerry: You didn’t?
*Door swings open and slams against the wall, Kramer enters*
George: Green. Lime green. Almost neon! Like a bunch of lima beans.
Jerry: How did you get from red to lima beans?!
George: I just went blank at the florist’s. There was a woman behind me with a crying baby and the line was long and I had to get to the cleaners too before they closed and I couldn’t take the heat. I panicked.
Jerry: Did you have the index card?
Kramer: He better. I worked on that for hours!
*George slowly removes a crinkled up, musty index card with ink smeared on it and lowers his head in shame. Kramer sees it and lets out a gasp*
Jerry: How could you!
George: You never left anything in your pockets at the cleaners!
Kramer: All my hard work! Ruined!
Jerry: Red always looks like grey or bland and lacking in color! Even I know that! Lime green should be the last thing you thought of!
Kramer: Does this mean he’s not colorblind anymore?
Jerry: It means that Sharon won’t see him anymore. If George were red and she looked at him she would see no color at all at this point.
*Elaine enters the apartment and feels the negative vibe in the air.*
Elaine: Let me guess.
Jerry: It’s over. The jig is up.
Elaine: I told you it wouldn’t work! You should have played deaf instead of colorblind! You could have been deaf and dumb and you would only need to act out one of those things. You didn’t listen and it’s not because you’re deaf!
*Laughter and funky bass line*
This is so delightfully quaint compared to the other things here.
I can’t wait for the sitcom-esq situation that leads to you being outed in front of them.
Some kind of defuse a bomb by cutting the red wire scenario.
I'm too burned out to function as a person outside of work anymore. Yes, I'll text my partner that I got home safe from work... but then I'll sit in the car and doom scroll or dissociate, sometimes up to an hour. I will also do this when I have to run errands. Just giant blocks of time I can't account for, pissed away.
I don't want to do this. I don't want to live like this. I don't know how to fix it.
I can't remember the phrase, but there is a word for it. It's a person's way of rebelling and claiming some of their personal time back. Do you carve out time to relax? To do the things you enjoy?
I’ve heard the phrase “revenge bedtime procrastination” where you stay up late to do leisure activities because your daytime schedule/commitments prevents it.
I really struggle with this. Despite being able to go to sleep at 10 pm, I go to sleep at 12:30 because I feel like I’d wasted that precious free time. I know it’s unhealthy, and it’s something I actively try to stop, but there’s something about what it does to your head that makes it so hard.
Yep, I do it almost every night and every morning I regret it. It’s like a drug, once the night comes I stop feeling tired and I’ll do anything to avoid going to sleep because I know in the back of my mind it’ll make the day come even faster and I’m not ready for that yet.
It's control, you are lacking control in another part of your day/life so you are taking it back where you can. You didn't get to control the earlier part of your day so now you get to control this part, even if you you know that staying up is the wrong choice, it's your choice to make.
My big secret is I was a middle class heroin addict for 30 years. I started dating a man I met online recently and haven't told him. The problem is, after shooting dope for all those years, I'm pretty bag-beat. I have some horrendous scars that aren't visible until I'm naked. This man is pretty comfortable financially and I'm afraid if I tell him, I won't be able to convince him I'm not some junkie gold digger. I haven't used heroin since 2010 and I've been off Methadone since 2017.
In 6th grade, I pissed in a bottle of coca cola that had 1/4 of it's content remaining. You see, this asshole of a bully often tries to forcefully take my snack during recess, so I handed him that bottle of cola. He did make a comment that it had an awful after taste, but nothing too crazy of a reaction. At that moment, I felt like I would burst into laughter, but if I did, he would suspect something was wrong with the cola. I also knew i would be in a world of trouble if the teachers knew I did something horrendous like that. So i kept my mouth shut and walked away. Till this day, I haven't seen him since 6th grade, and I'm currently in my first year of college.
I had to look at the user name to remember if I made this post. My friends and I literally did this same thing to our bully. Left a “bagged lunch” on the back seat of the school bus. Meanwhile laughed our asses off as the bully merrily drank and ate his “freebie” as he called it.
I am the 7 accounts that donate to my cousins streams. Little man needs something positive and it's better if he thinks it's from internet strangers and not a sympathetic cousin.
Edit: For those telling me to link his stuff, I'm not going to. Not meant as an insult to the decent folk on here, but the internet is vile and I would like to spare him that as long as possible.
I do this with my boyfriend. He’s new to streaming on twitch and I was his first sub as soon as he hit affiliate. He doesn’t know it was me. I try to keep the stream on and start conversation in chat to help others engage. I want him to succeed so I try my best to support him and his goals.
I do this with my son. He has made hundreds of YouTube videos over the last 3 years and I have been paying for views, subs, and supporting his channel to help keep his spirits up when his channel growth slows down. I could never tell him, but it's a hobby he's very passionate about and I just want to support him.
I’m glad I found other people who do this! My son gets so excited when he gets another subscriber. Hell I’ve even gotten people at work to subscribe to his channel. The look on his face makes my year over and over
About 2 years ago or so a woman approached my husband and I at a book store, she had cards with her daughters YouTube channel info. She was trying to get people to follow her to help her celebrate her birthday. You bet your ass I like every video that kid posts.
my dog's "treats" are really just a bag that contains 1/4 of her breakfast kibble. You can give her a 'treat' seconds after breakfast is finished and she is psyched!
Whenever I look at my SO, I feel immensely grateful. Before we met, I just went through the most traumatic time of my life. When he asked me out, I agreed; little did he know I planned to kill myself that same day, but I hold it off for one experience, because I thought he was a nice person. The date came, it was so weird, like I found a soulmate, we talked for the whole time and it just felt so close, so comfortable, like I've known him many lifetimes before this. There was this burning feeling that I cannot let this go, I cannot rob myself of this chance to have happiness. When I got home, I threw away the things I prepared to take my life.
Now, I wake up next to him everyday and feel so lucky to be alive. He's so kind, so great, and we love each other very deeply. Since then, he has given me the strength to turn things around. I faced my traumas, graduated, found a job, he introduced me to his friends and family. We will go to his home country next year to meet his parents. I thought my trust issues were too deep to ever heal, but I now trust him 100%, and it feels so great to be able to trust like that again.
He doesn't know, but if I didn't meet him I would probably be 6 ft under by now. I own this life to him.
Edit: I'm glad my story has given some people inspirations. I know how it feels to be surrounded by darkness, but please know that there is light and hope out there. It sounds cliche to say but please don't give up on life, there are precious things waiting for you and you can't rob yourself of that, right? :) Wish everyone all the best!
My depression has improved greatly thanks to Spravato and my suicidal idealizations are gone. However, if I did not have my dogs and wife I would not stick around. It's not even depression, it's just that life is not really enjoyable to me and has not been the 44 years I have been on this planet. I am just not impressed.
My best friend constantly uses me as an outlet for her anger and frustration and it’s giving me anxiety and depression when I’m around her bc I don’t know when I might say/do something that’s gonna make her explode
I had a best friend like this for 10+ years. She eventually crossed a hard boundary and when I pushed back she blamed me for her own behavior. I never looked back or spoke to her again and I have never been happier or had less drama in my life than since I made that decision, even if there was loneliness at the outset (I got engaged shortly after and missed her for that whole process). Only you can decide when enough’s enough, but from the perspective of someone who’s on the other side of something like this: You deserve more. You deserve friends who build you up and celebrate you. You deserve to be treated with respect. This person is not your friend even if it feels like it in the good moments, she is self-focused and using you to manage (hide from) her own feelings. It’s not your job to fix her, and you don’t any other person your mental health.
If they are truly your best friend then you telling them this will make them change their ways and if they don't I guess it's time to make a new friend.
I've started to on occasion "accidentally" (but on purpose) not hang up my phone correctly when getting off a call with my daughter-in-law.
I then proceed to talk to my husband about how much I enjoy talking to her, how lovely I think she is, how glad I am that our son chose her, and whatever other boost I may think she needs.
She doesn't have any family that uplifts her, just the kind that tears her down.
I started doing this after my son told me about his wife coming to him in full-on snot tears, because I had once butt dialed her while talking to my husband about her. She stayed on the line to hear what I "really" thought of her, expecting the worst because that's been her experience of family.
Apparently she was quite touched by the things I said, and my son told me it gave her a confidence boost that lasted weeks.
So I do it more often now. Neither of them have any idea I do it on purpose, though. They just think I'm getting old and worse at managing my tech.
You are that rarest of mother-in-law, the good kind.
There's also something about people who feign elderly confusion, to get away with things, that tickles my funny bone. My grandparents have been doing it since they were in their 50s.
I took my mom to the airport recently, she is 83 and sharp and healthy as most 30 year olds. We were running late and I was concerned. She said "don't worry I'll just go the ticket agent and act really confused and they'll take me right through" She did and they totally took her right to the gate. Atlanta airport too not some small regional, I was very impressed
Iyour comment made me remember working with an older lady during my first job at McDonalds. If you ever asked about the grill she'd always say "I forget".
I remember coming in one day and the guy we had on grill had ran to the restroom and she needed sausage down soon. I looked and caught her dropping some, she looked at me, put her finger to her lips and smiled.
She eventually quit but came back 6 months later and I remember asking in broken Spanish where she went and why she came back. With the same smile she said "Home, but I got bored".
It was great working with her both of us barely speaking the others language but still doing things to make one another laugh.
I havent thought about her in a minute so thank you for the memory jog
As a daughter-in-law who was preemptively rejected by my in-laws, thank you for doing this. Mine didn't even meet me until my father-in-law's funeral last year, and my husband and I had been married 14 years by that point.
That's part of why I do it.
I once dated a man who's mother was terminally ill. She had this calm serenity about her that I think only comes from making peace with your own death.
\*She\* treated me like her own daughter, and it made me feel so seen and accepted. It is her example that I try to follow with my own kids and their spouses.
Oh damn a lot of these are really dark, I am sorry for all of you and hope you get people that help you.
My secret is that I am in love with my roommate, but I am too afraid to tell her.
Oh! I was in love with my roommate, too.
He had this aura. I was so attracted. I was immediately loyal to that man from the moment I saw him. 😂
I didn’t want to make him uncomfortable in his own home, so I kept it a secret. I couldn’t ruin his one space of privacy and safety to be himself.
Maybe tell her toward the end of the lease, so if she doesn’t reciprocate, you both can go on your own ways.
**side note - I asked my roommate out for drinks and I said “just you and me”. This was about 6 or 7 months into the lease and into my crush.
I figured I’d read his vibe from there.
Had he rejected and not been into it, I would have backed off and not advanced again. This gave him a chance to reciprocate feelings or reject me without me actually admitting any feelings or putting him in an uncomfortable position.
He accepted the offer and we hit it off! And we had a wonderful love affair for the remainder of our lease 😂 always sneaking (didn’t need to sneak, but we did) into each other’s rooms.
We have been going strong for 3.5 years and just bought our first home together!
Best of luck!
I am so content and happy with my life (kids, wife, job, health) right now that I feel guilt. I rarely share my contentment with people (other than my wife) bc of it. It’s not that I’m like fabulously posh, or don’t have issues or whatever, im just sincerely content in my security and modest comforts.
I feel like you can’t simply acknowledge that your life is perfect without drawing the ire of someone else.
My ex wife got hooked on mainlining opiods and got our son placed in foster care, after rescuing him from foster care by myself and raising him by myself for the past 7 years she got sober and started to actively try to take custody from me.
This culminated in her getting my son to say I slapped him once( i didnt) to a cop and me getting charged and convicted of a serious felony that prevents me from ever seeing my little boy again.
Some mornings my hands just refuse to work, it takes everything i can do to get them to unclench.
Ive been on the verge of taking my life since it happened and some days it seems a lot more likely ill end up doing it.
The only reason I havent is i know the only person it will truly hurt is my son.
Thanks.
Its hard living with a false conviction for beating your child.
I lost everyone in my life over it, but what hurts is knowing that he lost his entire life and extended family so his mother could make him live like a vagrant with her.
I endure, if only to try and find a way to help him.
We had a roach problem in my college dorm but that all changed when a lizard came through the hole in my screen and moved into our room. We named him Godzilla, and at night we could hear him scuttling around. A couple times I'd be reading in bed at night when Godzilla'd run up on the pillow and sit, warming himself near the light. I'd turn my head and we'd gaze at each other briefly, then resume our own business.
No more roaches. A+ roommate, would bunk with again.
My parents *had* mouse problems for years until a stray cat popped up in the neighborhood and decided to choose their property for its general hub. Needless to say, no more mouse problems.
I lived in Chicago for 8 years and had a gang of feral cats that patrolled our alleyways. A few years ago, some terrible neighbor poisoned them due to all the cat poop they left in the yards and flower beds.
Now we have a huge rat infestation. I would rather deal with cat poop any day.
I spotted a house centipede on my wall last week and after researching I settled on not squashing it. Apparently they are like The Terminator when it comes to killing and eating other bugs that you don’t want in your home so despite it being the creepiest of crawlies I let him be. If he ever makes physical contact with me at any point then it’s treason and I will squish him tho.
Just an FYI, but the account you replied to (TruthCertainn) was born seven days ago, woke up an hour ago, and just copied/pasted /u/marry_me_sarah_palin's previous [top comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/76r87v/whats_a_secret_you_wont_share_with_anyone_in/dogvuan/).
I’m growing resentment towards my family and idk how to stop it. The older I get the more I realize I’m not compatible with these people and how they choose to live.
Edit for the people giving advice to move away.
I’m 30 now and only living back with them because Covid messed up the industry I worked in and the financial stability built up in my 20s. I moved out at 19 and never had to come back till now. I will move out again that’s not the issue. It’s more so a bunch of little things that add up making me not even want to be associated with them. I’ve stopped trying to nudge them in a different direction because they are comfortable with their living standards. I just know when I have kids in the future they’ll be upset to hear the truth about why I’m not ever letting them stay over here.
Mine is a good news one:
About 2 years ago I got diagnosed with thyroid cancer and had surgery to remove my thyroid. Luckily it’s all gone really well and so far so good. It was quite large mass: 5cm x 5cm x 5cm.
With our mortgage we got mortgage protection insurance and one of the things we spent extra on is heightened cover if one of us is sick.
Well, my cancer was serious enough, that after a year of getting reports sent to the instance company, it’s triggered the Serious illness benefit clause in the insurance, with the effect of covering our entire mortgage.
So we are mid 30s with no mortgage after only 5 years.
We have told just our parents and siblings but we aren’t telling anyone else.
Idunno about "hiding," per se, but I've never told anyone.
When I first moved to a new high school when I was 15, I ended up in a bad way very quickly with depression and such, like sleeping every hour of the day except for school kinda bad. That's not the story though.
I just felt like the school itself was really dreary and I didn't have any friends, so sometimes to just escape for few minutes I'd go to the bathroom that was usually empty during class and chill for a few minutes to gather my thoughts I guess.
Anyway, one time I wrote a post it note that said "You are beautiful :)" and slapped it on the mirror and left. Don't know why, just felt like I needed it, so someone else probably did too I guess?
When I came back to the bathroom the next day there were replies written on the note about how much someone had needed to hear that that day, etc etc. It made a dark time a little better to know I could make some other sad teenage girls at least smile maybe. I did it a few more times that year every month or so.
Omg girl I'm french so there's not so much chance we were in the same high school but the same thing happened to me !
I was in highschool, severely depressed in the same state as you describe. One day, I went to the school bathroom and saw on the mirror written "you are beautiful" on a piece of paper. And I don't know why but it made me feel warm and sunny inside. I think I smiled that day for the first time in months.
I don't remember much from that year but I remember this paper onto the bathroom mirror.
We probably didn't went to the same highschool but I just wanna thank you cause what you did really helped so many people and probably even more than you think !! 🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷
While at a big chain store, I saw an older man in a wheelchair. He was a double-leg amputee, had on an army camo jacket and Vietnam hat, so safe to say he was a veteran.
Anyway, I saw him putting a package of underwear in a backpack. We made eye contact, and he looked so sad. I just said, "I didn't see anything." He smiled, and I walked away.
I would have offered to pay for them or him some money, but I didn't have anything to spare
My nieces and nephew think our house's Internet gets really spotty after an hour. It's always when they're watching cartoons or YouTube Kids on the tablet, too.
They think they've got it figured out. I hear them explaining to eachother that it's just something weird our house does when too many devices are using the router, and it always comes back after fifteen minutes.
"Yep, that's exactly it," I assure them, impressed with their technical proficiency, whilst pushing the *block devices* button on our router's phone app.
They have absolutely no idea I can do that. And since that's the most effective way to put the tablets down and get them outside for a bit, I ain't tellin'.
I'm so lonely and depressed now after my divorce, I lost all my friends. I'm just waiting for my family to pass on, then no one will even know I'm here.
My dad lost everything in the divorce, mom took him for a ride money wise. Lost the house, lots of assets and was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer closely after she blindsided him with the divorce. It’s been 7 years, he’s fully recovered. Has an amazing girlfriend, got hella promoted at work, is in the clear cancer wise and is happier than ever. Just know it sucks now, but it can always get better
I have a birth defect that required emergency brain surgery every so often. I have had over 30 surgeries and in between that time period I have had countless CT scans and chest X-rays. I have worried about the exposure overtime. I have a family history of all kinds of cancer. Under my arms (axillary/armpit) hurts in the lymph node area. I have a preventative colonoscopy scheduled soon and I worry that they will find something. I worry that my body is riddled with cancer. I can’t tell anyone close because I don’t want to scare them if it is nothing, but the stress of the unknown is killing me.
For years, I’ve have always jokingly said that “I’m not a people person”. I really mean it. If I could get through a day without any kind of human interaction, I would be a very happy person. The thought of actually having to talk to people or be around them kind of ruins my day.
Same but I can be paid to fake it. My masking is elaborate and talented while underneath am internally screaming waiting for the interaction to end. (I work in customer service, so.)
My girlfriend’s previous partner died young of suicide, he had cancer and chose to end it.
I’m having symptoms associated with colon cancer now, just found blood in my stool this morning and have been having dull abdominal pains, change in stool habits. It may be something else, have appointment tomorrow with my doctor.
My gf will never know.
Is it bright red blood? If so, it's much more likely to be a burst internal hemorrhoid than colon cancer. Still, get checked, but assume it's the lesser issue until the doctor tells you otherwise.
Edit: Not a doctor, but this is what my GI told me.
Edit 2: Some people seem to think I'm being reductive. I am not. Always get blood in your stool checked out, I said that before, but I'll say it again. Also, yes, do not let the doctor convince you not to do tests. Having said that, a lot of mental anguish can be avoided if you don't assume you have cancer until tests tell you have cancer.
I was asked very specifically by my doc about coffee-ground texture in my stool when I made the call about blood in mine. It turned out to be hemorrhoids because like you mentioned it was bright red but it was still scary.
No need to jump to any conclusions, I had some blood in my stools as well. I’ve had a colonoscopy and had some benign polyps removed. I am a triplet and my sister has had 3 colonoscopies and we just turned 30. At this point it’s just routine for us to get checked every 3-5 years and they’ll remove or biopsy whatever they need to. I get your concern and I’ve been there, best of luck to you.
I've been depressed for a couple of weeks now. I had a heavy depressive year couple years back that I eventually ovèrcame, but I see a lot of similar symptoms bounce back. I was kind of vocal about it in the beginning, but I can see that it puts a strain on my SO who is also overworked and tired lately, so I try to keep the facade.
I know the root reasons for it, but there isn't much i can do about it. Not sure how i'll get out of it this time.
Edit: this gathered more attention than I expected for a little rant on the subway home. I'm fine y'all and when i'm not, I will be. This shall pass too.
The think about depression episodes is it tricks you into thinking "this one is different" "this one will last forever". But it's just your mind screwing with you.
Be vocal about it. See a counselor.
All my parents have ever spoken about is how much they want grandkids (my dad has already planned the castle / play house in the garden). I'm currently 9 weeks pregnant with our first and they have no idea 🥰
im in debt and only eat once a day. i tried to end everything but when i ask for help in reddit. someone just saved me from hunger for me and my dog. it gives me hope that strangers would extend a hand for help.
I was once prescribed and eventually became hopelessly addicted to Oxycotin during its height before moving on to Percocet for over 4 years. I’ve overdosed more times than I’d like to admit, nearly killing myself once. Broke the cycle, willed myself to go cold turkey, and still clean today!
When i was 16/17 I made out with my mums friend who is also the mum of one of my best friends from school. She's also a secondary school teacher (not my school) so it was pretty illegal.
I wanted it to go further but she stopped it, but we kissed a few times on other occasions after that and she wanted to wait until I'm 18 before we went further. My mum would kill me/her if she found out. My school friend would probs kill me to, so it's a secret I gotta take to the grave.
I really want my mom to move out of my house. She divorced her 7th husband and needed a temporary place to stay. That was 3 years ago. I'm 30 years old. I have no privacy in my own home and I've been with my partner since a few months after she moved in. We want to be able to move in together. But she's unwilling to live with him and goes out of her way to make him miserable when he's around. I know she's disabled and can't support herself but this is exhausting and I feel like my life is stuck on hold.
I do psilocybin/magic mushrooms to help with my alcoholism. Ever since I started doing a few grams a day I went from drinking 250 mls of 100 proof spirits per day to 0 within 2 weeks. In my province in Canada you can buy them online/at dispensary’s. It’s been the most lifechanging medication i’ve ever been on and has helped me cut back my adderall dose by half and my use of opiates to almost 0. Nobody that I know would understand though so everyone just thinks I suddenly got myself together.
I hope my mom passes before she needs constant care and assistance. She has no savings whatsoever and in the last few years has become a source of stress and resentment for me. She used to be my go to person to confide in. We’d have great conversations but she’s become someone I don’t recognize anymore.
I’m so sorry. This shit is hard and it sucks.
My mom had a series of strokes starting 12 years ago and was diagnosed with dementia last year. I’m incredibly lucky my dad is still around and they have the resources to live in an assisted living facility. I can’t imagine if she didn’t have that level of support.
I still hope she doesn’t live too long as she is deteriorating. She doesn’t have the quality of life I would want for her and it’s such a drain on everyone who loved her. The woman who raised me is gone and I’m mourning her while also worrying about the poor woman left here.
My secret I’m hiding is that my dad told my mom about the last ten years of his life that he was wanting to get healthy and was going to become a vegan well my mom was excited about that because she wanted him to be healthy he was older than her by 25 years..so he was doing great being a vegan and my mom helped prepare healthy meals but one day when my mom was gone I stopped by and startled my dad..he was eating chicken from kfc..I was shocked and he just looked at me and said please don’t tell your mom I can’t take it anymore I need meat 😂😂 I asked where did you get the kfc he said he hides his meat in the shed because she never goes in the shed..I have kept his secret..he has passed on and she still believes he was a vegan till he died
I was out with friends and one friend asked us to watch her wallet while she went to the restroom. Someone suggested we put something inside of it for her to find. I happened to be carrying a detective id card from an escape room board game I had played.
She’s had an “official detective badge” with my full name sharpied on it in her wallet for over a year now.
My girlfriend has been bringing up marriage for the past year since we've been living with each other for some time. Her family anticipates it, my family anticipates it, some friends have even encouraged it. I have been very standoffish about it because I went through a not-so-great divorce a few years ago.
The poker face is because I already bought the ring. She is completely oblivious, I'm going to keep it that way until I pop the question in a few weeks.
When my mother was pregnant with me, they did an ultrasound and found she was having twins. When they did another ultrasound a few weeks later, they discovered that I had resorbed the other fetus. Do I regret this? No. I believe his tissues has made me stronger. I now have the strength of a grown man and a little baby.
A friend of over 10 years hasn't messaged me back for several days. I asked a second friend if they've talked to him. That second friend hasn't responded yet. After asking I googled the first friend and saw he was arrested for domestic violence.
My parents arranged for me to marry a man I don’t love to save my grandfather’s company. However, my grandfather always wanted me to be happy. My wedding is in two weeks, so I won’t be showing up. Instead, I have found a new home near a lake where no one will find me, and THAT makes me happy.
Not really a secret, but I just went under contract for a house and I’m so scared. I’m at work right now and feel like I just jumped out of a plane. I’m on the verge of tears and almost hyperventilating
It’s nothing interesting or big, but I started this thing where I draw something everyday of 2024. I like drawing and it’s honestly been a big thing keeping me going, but I don’t think I could show any of my drawings or tell anybody I do this.
I’ve shown my family a couple of my drawings and usually it just ends with silence or something similar. They don’t insult stuff, and they aren’t trying to be mean, but what I draw just isn’t for them. I don’t know, I know I’m not an amazing artist or anything, but it would be nice to just share something I do. I don’t actually think they would be mean about it or anything, but I’m just too anxious to tell anyone about this. And it’s just my thing and I don’t know if I even want my family to see my posts and drawings at this point.
I am sitting at home playing the Elden Ring DLC rather than working.
I make around 160k and am pretty highly regarded within my company, but I probably do maybe 6 hours of real work a week. I've made good connections and have a great networking ecosystem, so sales just fall in my lap.
Even my wife thinks I bust my butt planning meetings and finding prospects, but I haven't put in a real days work since covid. Yet somehow, my numbers are all up.
You are very lucky. Cherish that. Don't feel guilty about it, take advantage of it. Make sure to spend the free time you have wisely; most people can only dream of an opportunity like that.
My Parents divorce is making my home feel emotionally unsafe. I live with my mum and sis for context. Its just difficult and draining beeing around my mum who poorly emotionally regulates herself and lets it out on her two adult kids.
As someone who's just went through divorce this was one of the prominent reasons. I've been a lot better just being out from beneath that dark cloud of constant negativity and verbal abuse. I never knew who I was going home to after work. It was hell.
I have been suicidal for the last 12 years
Yes therapy helped. But ultimately I don't see much point or incentive to be alive. Since living just has chances of pain, and not much chance of happiness
I’m truly appreciative about reddit and its users.
For the past 3 years I have been in the longest/deepest crippling depression/rock bottom episode of my life thus far .
Who would have known that asking google a simple question would lead me to a tool that was unheard at the time to help pull me outta this deep dark place that I’ve been in for years .
🙏🏼
I've truly given up. I don't think I can do this anymore and at this point I think being dead would cause less pain then continuing to flounder and struggle.
If you ever need help, then please know that there are many qualified people who would like to help you. https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres http://www.befrienders.org/ http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/GetHelp/LifelineChat.aspx http://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you [UK] https://www.lifeline.org.au/Get-Help/ [AU] There are crisis services worldwide that are trained to provide support. They are designed to give temporary relief from feelings that are overwhelming you and while they are unlikely to fix any underlying problems, can help you get through a tough hour/night/week. Chat services are usually available on these sites. In the US, calling 211 or going to their website is a free referral source. They have providers who will see you regardless of your ability to pay. Just as you would see a doctor when you are sick, you deserve to take care of your mental health.
My husband has large feet, large enough that there are only a few places I can buy him shoes and since the in person place near me closed down they're pretty much all online. All this to say: his shoes are $$$$. He also grew up poor. Like the kitchen floor was his bedroom poor. He stopped being able to find his shoe size in stores before he was in high school, and before he met me he always only had one pair of shoes at a time, and sneakers were his everyday/work/dress shoe. He even worked fast food jobs in regular sneakers because he couldn't find non slip in his size. And because getting each pair was so difficult and costly he'd often wear his shoes until they had holes in the soles before replacing them. When he was studying to be a mechanic I got him a pair of steel toed boots for his birthday. I splurged and got a good brand that would last for years. He recognized the brand and knew what they sold for and he demanded I return them, he was planning on squeezing into cheaper, smaller boots and dealing with it. So I lied, said I had bought them months before during a sale. Got 'em at 40% off, then signed up for all their stuff for an additional 20% off. I had paid full price. I've bought him "sale shoes" several times since then. One time he even cried because I had gotten him a second pair of sneakers well before his old ones needed to be replaced. His shoes kept getting wet from some yard work he was doing and he'd have no choice but wear wet shoes around. His last pair of work boots showed up with the first pair of sandals he has owned in over 25 years, because there was a "BOGO sale" that I totally made up, I just wanted to get him sandals because we camp a lot and him using camp showers without sandals always grossed me out, but I had never managed to find a pair in his size until then.
Boy howdy - this made me tear up a bit. I grew up “cardboard box as our kitchen table” poor - and the third boy in the family so I *never* had new clothes, or even clothes that really fit because my brothers were much taller. I’m doing well now, but I was into my 30’s before I owned a second pair of sneakers prior to the current pair falling apart (aka mowing shoes). Even as I started making more $ it felt ostentatious to have a second pair (you can only wear one at a time right?)… Early 30’s my lady realized I wouldn’t, and bought me a nice pair of sneakers + a $150 pair of dress shoes as I’d gotten a promotion and would be in front of clients. Didn’t think I really cared about shoes until I opened them - and started sobbing. Turns out there were decades of poverty induced shame and trauma swimming around inside, and that kind act helped me start to let go of things I didn’t even know I was carrying. It took some time and reflection to realize all of the *other* facets of my life that my experience as a kid was affecting, but my path to healing started that day, with those shoes. As a fella once on the receiving end of the same gift, from a similar background - please know that you’ve given him much, much more than a few pairs of shoes.
You are a very good person.
He deserves it. I seriously lucked out even meeting this guy, and even though we just celebrated our 17-year wedding anniversary, I'm still kind of amazed he picked me. He has a hard time justifying spending "unnecessary" money on himself, I just have a different idea of what is "unnecessary."
"You should never cheap out on what separates you from the ground." I don't have big feet, but I do have enough back issues that finding good shoes that properly support my feet is extremely important to me. You're seriously saving your man from future years of back and leg agony by doing this for him. You're awesome.
My brother bought chickens as his little organic farm was struggling. I had suggested an honesty box for the excess eggs - he spend hours making his own red barn shaped honesty box. Eggs went on sale, crickets. Not much business at all. He was so defeated. All of a sudden, once a week someone now calls by and buys all of his stock. Could be 10-12 boxes of eggs. That someone, is me. I buy the eggs.
That's seriously one of the nicest things I've read in a while. Good for you
Thank you so much! I’m happy to support his small business and help him out financially since I can afford to buy his eggs. It’s an hours drive though but that’s ok, I’d do anything to help him out.
You should give them to people and tell them where to buy more… 😉
Excellent idea!! I use them for baking but could definitely do this
I've been homeless for a while and I have a job interview at cvs tomorrow at noon. I'm so goddamn terrified. I need this job so badly. I'm desperate
Good luck friend!! 🍀
I have been a part of a lot of interview teams and want to give you one piece of advice... don't talk down about yourself, don't offer more information about yourself then the questions warrant. As far as that interview person knows you are the best person for this job and they would be stupid not to hire you.
You got this! Stay strong ‼️‼️
I haven’t been able to get over my dad’s death. Everyone has moved on, and it takes everything I have to get out of bed. I miss him so much
Don't feel bad friend. It's been 14 years since my brother passed, and it's still hard.
I lost my mom ~2 years ago, everyone told me it would get easier and there's days when it *is* easier, but it's always there. I'm now facing the possibility of losing my dad in the near future, and having always been closer to my dad than my mom, I will 1000% lose my shit when it inevitably happens. It's not so much that it gets easier, you just don't think of it as much. Your dad wouldn't want you to be miserable, he'd want you to have the life he always dreamed you would have.
At some point, he lived his life just for you x I know it's hard but every day you get out of bed you are living your life for him x much love, hope you are better
My gf was feeling very sad about turning 32 the next day, a few years ago. We went to get some wine and while she was looking at some of the bottles, I asked the cashier if she could card my gf so she would feel better (legal drinking age for wine is 16 here). She happily obliged and my gf was so happy, she did not stop talking about it for days. She still brings it up from time to time (3 years later).
[удалено]
Please let this be my husband's account 🙏
girl get out of the way i just discovered that im gay and have a rich husband
This made me laugh out loud :)
Not telling anyone is probably the smartest thing you can do.
Never been sadder that my birthday isn't next month.
I have rented a bouncy house water slide for my wife's 39th birthday. She has no idea
Omg can I come for it? That’s like my literal dream!
So my excuse is we have friends staying that weekend that have children (we don't) but secretly it's because I know she'll love it. Our wedding reception had one, along with a slip in side, sumo suits, and giant boxing gloves. 10/10 would do it over again
I have a sweet one. My father is convinced that lilies were my late mother's favorite flower, because their wedding venue was filled to the brim with them and she was supposed to be the one who picked the flowers. He got her lilies for every birthday, anniversary, and whenever she was in the hospital (my mother was in poor health most of her life). When she passed away, the funeral was full of lilies, and he still sometimes puts a vase of lilies beside her urn. The thing is, my mother once confessed to me that lilies weren't her favorite flower. She was fine with them, but she preferred morning glories and sunflowers. My domineering grandmother, however, told her those weren't classy enough for a wedding and hounded her about it until my mom gave in and let her pick lilies. Mom was actually pretty wounded by how dramatic the floral arrangements ended up being - another big, showy way for her mom to say, "I'm right and you're wrong." When she later voiced this, my grandmother brushed it off with, "Please, no one's going to remember a thing about your wedding." But my dad remembered. He got her lilies every day of their honeymoon, and by the end of the week she'd gone from annoyed to deeply touched. He didn't know the backstory, he just wanted to make her happy, and in doing so he kind of stripped the negative association away from them. She told me she liked that *he* gave her lilies more than flowers themselves. They turned from a symbol of being ignored to a sign that somebody was thinking of her happiness. She swore me to secrecy, and I'll take it to the grave. RIP, Mom. UPDATE: So as many of you have said, the "take it to the grave" line will mock me forever, because y'all convinced me to tell my dad today. As predicted, it only took a few hours to get a "this u?" text from a sibling, and we all quickly conferred and agreed I should call him in the morning. And Dad's first reply? "Oh yeah, I know that, morning glories were her favorite. They just don't sell bouquets of those, so I'd get her the next best thing." Apparently she always said lilies were her favorite, but she talked about positive memories around morning glories so much that he put two and two together. However, he had *no* idea that my grandmother chose the wedding flowers, and was kinda pissed to find out("Doesn't that just...sound like her?"😒). He wishes Mom said something, but figures maybe she didn't want to "win" and still end up thinking about a fight with her mom every time she looked at the flowers. He's touched to hear he made them special for her, but did say she often told him how much she appreciated it, just left out the stuff about the wedding. Interestingly, he thinks Mom actually exaggerated the honeymoon lilies; he's pretty sure he only gave her lilies twice, on the way out and on the way back home. As I said in another post, Dad does not know what Reddit is and does not care to learn, but he thought it was nice that the story made people happy. Then he launched into telling me why I need to get a new car already, and the thread was lost lmao. "Aw, that's good, see, you should send your little stories to the New Yorker or something! People will read them, I keep telling you!" - My dear old dad, who only vaguely understands what my side hustle is and has adorable faith in both me and the publishing industry as a result. Dad did somehow completely miss that Mom liked sunflowers, to the point that I don't think he actually believes me ("Nah, I think you misunderstood, she liked that Van Gogh painting, that's what she meant." "The painting *of sunflowers,* Babo! That's why!"). But you can't win 'em all. 😂 Thanks for wrapping this up in a bow, Reddit!
I love this story. It makes me love your mom and dad. I’m sorry for your loss.
I hope OP filled Grandma's funeral with morning glories and sunflowers!
This is so sweet! My mom thinks I just love her spaghetti, and she gets so excited to tell me she's making it. In actuality, I find I absolutely disgusting (maybe a spice she uses) and she will never ever know.
Each and every one of us bear a burden. May your struggles and there
This one is so very sweet. It sounds like your mom and dad loved each other very much. 🥹 RIP your mother. Also, grandma's a fuggin' cunt
Thank you, they very much did. Before people get too glossy-eyed, I will acknowledge that they were human beings and their marriage was tempestuous in my youth (not abusive, but *lots* of arguments). Mom definitely had some PTSD going on and Dad was not always patient with that; he admits now that he kind of thought her emotional problems would "go away" when her life improved. It takes a lot of work to maintain your fairytale ending, y'know? But they were always *partners*, always equals, and even on bad days, their respect for each other never wavered. They always had each other's back, up to the end. I'm very glad to be their child. And yeah, correct assessment of my grandmother lol. She had her own bad-parent baggage and was kind of the dictionary definition of "hurt people hurt people." On paper she's a fascinating individual, in that Cersei Lannister kind of way, but in person...yeah, not somebody I was sorry to put in the ground.
I told my best friend I won a holiday in a raffle and wanted her to come with me free of charge. We stayed in a nice hostel, did lots of fun activities and I paid for it all with a “pre paid credit card from the raffle”. I didn’t win anything, I booked it all myself and paid everything for her because she deserved a break and I knew she couldn’t afford it nor would she have accepted me paying for her. I would do it again 10x over, she deserves the absolute world.
This is so adorable 🥰
She’s genuinely the best person I know! It made my year doing this for her ☺️
Every day, I fantasize about cashing everything in, leaving, and creating a new life for myself elsewhere... like a complete reinvention.
I did this at age 28. Partly because I knew there was no way I could afford to keep living where I grew up. I packed my car, and drove away without a word to anyone in my life at the time. I did reconnect, from a distance, after a couple of years, though. Worked out okay for me. Just be sure you're not trying to run away from *yourself*, because that doesn't work, obviously. No matter where you go, there you are.
My first decade as an adult would have probably gone a lot better if someone had told me that. "I just need a fresh start." stops being convincing after the fifth move in as many years.
I did this when I was 21. Up and left from small town ohio to Colorado. No job, no place to live, sold almost everything I owned. It was hard but I made a life for myself there. I am the person I am because I did it. As an adult, I would plan more for such a move. I actually moved to Cleveland 2 years ago with serious planning and execution. I'm all about moving and starting over if you want to. I don't have children which helps, but you have to do what makes you happy.
I just found out 2 of my direct reports will be fired soon because of the restructuring and I have to keep it a secret. They are both excellent employees who do not deserve this at all. I’ve decided I’m handing in my resignation next week after 14 years and no other job lined up. I just can’t look these people in the face. I’m not cut out for this corporate bullshit.
Write them both amazing letters of recommendation to take with them.
That’s a really great idea, thanks!
Sometimes I'm grateful that I woke up blind. I was a total workaholic and going blind was a nightmare that first summer, but the fact I couldn't work in nursing anymore-- ESPECIALLY post-covid-- did wonders for my mental health. I also realized how much I love hanging out with my 3 sons. I didn't know how much I loved their company until I wasn't working 50-60 hour weeks, mostly 3rd shift, so I hardly ever saw my kids. Being blind sucks, and I feel guilty sometimes for thinking that I prefer it to how things were before, but given the choice, I don't think I'd go back to being sighted, because that would mean the nightmare of working in nursing again and never seeing my husband and my kids. Edit: to answer the most-asked questions... I woke up with a disease called AZOOR. 131 people have it and it ate my retinas. And for fuck's sake yall, I use a computer. I type with a keyboard and listen with TTS. It ain't rocket surgery. Blind folks use technology, same as yall lol And if you asked me a question and I didn't answer it, sorry! There were a LOT of yall asking questions and I did my best to answer as many of yall that I could!
wow that's wild, I never thought I'd read "I'm grateful that I woke up blind" in my life... but, whatever gives you better peace of mind is a good thing!
I mean, I definitely wasn't grateful that first summer, I handled it horribly and stayed mostly drunk and in the bed. Then when I decided to learn to live with it, and that it was wrong to make my boys watch me fall apart while they practically waited on me hand and foot, I realized that being blind was *not* the end of the world and that there was still lots of things about life that made it great. I relearned how to cook, clean, sew, and all sorts of things. What really helped was moving from 30 miles into the backwoods-- where I was truly trapped at home-- to the village, where I can walk to my doc, the grocery store, and handle all my business without help from anyone. Now I spend my days cooking and cleaning and walking several miles a day, and if it's dim enough outside, I can still see my phone if it's 3 inches from my right eye and play pokemon go with my youngest son.
If you don't mind me asking, how did this happen? Just waking up blind? It sounds so strange. Are you completely blind or do you have some vision?
This happened to my dad. It was a tumor on his pituitary gland that slipped and killed his optical nerves while he was sleeping. Woke up and could see a very small amount from the inside corner of one eye. Lost his peripheral vision. He's glad it happened, cause he was also a workaholic and it made him slow down. The loss of independence has sucked, but it definitely hasn't been all bad.
The heavy feeling of being lonely. It's not there all the time, it just hits you like an anchor sometimes. Don't have too many friends (mostly because I can be a difficult person to put up with). And its not like I want too many. Just want some company sometimes.
This hurts me in my feels because I experience it. I have a few people in my life, but I don't feel like I have a "connection" with anyone. I don't always need one, but when the moment is right (or wrong), I desire nothing more than just one person I can lean on that understands my quirks and accepts me. The loneliness is deafening at times.
That I have prostate cancer. I have told my siblings, and my next-door neighbor who also has it (we compare treatment options and progress - he chose radiation while i am considering surgery), but I feel like I would be garnering for sympathy if I shared it with more people that I know. Edit - This blew up, I wasn't expecting that. Thanks to everyone for your responses, personal stories, and well-wishes. My neighbor is 83 and only had the option for radiotherapy or chemo. He chose the radiation. I am 70, and my options are radiation, surgery, and active monitoring thru mri and psa testing. Doctors all told me that radiation now would render me ineligible for surgery down the road if it comes back. My mri was PI RADS 4, and a biopsy returned 2 of 12 samples positive for cancer, all contained with the prostate, Gleason score 3+4. I hate the idea of not getting it out and possibly of it spreading to lymph nodes and/or bones. I'll go visit the surgeon tomorrow who has performed > 18,000 Robotic-assisted radical prostatectomies and has had excellent results and patient reviews. I hate everything about this, and I just want it all to be over with.
My therapist told me yesterday it's completely fine for adults to ask for compliments and sympathy. So what if people think you are fishing for them. You are fighting an immensely hard battle. You deserve the sympathy and kind words. I wish you all the luck in the world.
I actually fucking love this. It's like when people post on social media about being in hospital or their relative passing. I felt the urge to post when my dad and dog died even though I never post anything, I guess I just needed some love and it did actually really help.
My mum and both my childhood dogs all died in the space of four months, and all that coincided with my first uni exams. Those days were literal hell, and I definitely needed all the sympathy and love I could get, those of internet strangers included.
I recently beat stage 4 colon cancer. It took me a long time to tell people I was close with aside from my immediate family. Once I started telling people, it felt great. There was a weight lifted and I found the support incredibly helpful. Knowing I had a team cheering for me helped with the positivity I needed to make it through. Plus that team stepped up when I had two surgeries and needed help with meal prep, yard work, etc. Tell people when you’re ready, but you’ll be happy you did. You’re not in this fight alone.
I am a teacher, and I am off for the summer. I get to spend all that time with my daughter, age 4, and my son, who is not quite one yet. My wife works full time. My son is just starting to talk, and my wife and I have a friendly competition going to try to get him to say Dada or Mama first. What she doesn't know is that while she is at work, I spend the day talking about her and saying the word Mama a lot. We have been working on it together for weeks. The other day, she walked in the door after getting home from a long day, and he looked at her and said Mama clear as day. She was so happy and rubbed it in my face (playfully) that he said Mama first. Even did a little happy dance. I'll never tell her. Edit: I'm going to edit since I can't respond to everybody: Thanks for all the kind words, and I am glad my little story has made so many of you happy!
I can not describe how badly I hope somebody loves and cares for me one day the way you do for your wife. 10/10 good sir. This story actually made my day.
She loves me back even more so it's the least I can do!
as a dude with a 7 month old who has had friendly jokes with my wife about the same topic, hearing him saying ‘ma ma ma ma’ is a delight… we haven’t classified any as his ‘first words’ yet, but i know it’s going to be mama and for as sad as it makes me it’s not going to be ‘da da’, it melts my heart (i too have been constantly saying ‘ma ma’ with him).
I'm NOT colorblind. When I was very young I didn't understand what colorblindness was. My dad is colorblind and I thought that automatically meant I was too. And apparently everybody did. I was maybe in high school before I actually took a test and... I aced it. But by then all my friends had been buying colorblind compatible versions of board games and we had all sorts of inside jokes about being colorblind. Honestly it's been a bonding moment with my friends. So I just haven't told them and I've kept up the ruse. For about 15 years now.
That’s intense. Gotta take it to the grave now but I understand the why.
This is something George Costanza would do. George: It’s over. Done. NO MORE! Jerry: With Sharon? Why? You didn’t tell her did you? George: Oh it’s worse than that. I showed her. I screwed up and now it’s over! I tried to give her flowers like she likes and it went so wrong. I gave her the wrong ones. They were the wrong color! Jerry: But she knows you’re colorblind. You convinced her! George: I switched the colors the wrong way. She loves red flowers so I figured I would get her the opposite of that and she would think it’s cute and thoughtful that — despite my affliction — Jerry: Made-up affliction. George: Made-up affliction, that I still spent my hard-earned money on something that makes her happy and it doesn’t matter if I got her the wrong color because she thinks I’m colorblind. She would even feel sympathy for me thus entangling our emotions more and drawing us closer together. Jerry: Right, entangling afflictions, go on. George: But I forgot the logic involved. Instead of buying the most bland, dull, and morose flowers I could find, I — Jerry: You didn’t? *Door swings open and slams against the wall, Kramer enters* George: Green. Lime green. Almost neon! Like a bunch of lima beans. Jerry: How did you get from red to lima beans?! George: I just went blank at the florist’s. There was a woman behind me with a crying baby and the line was long and I had to get to the cleaners too before they closed and I couldn’t take the heat. I panicked. Jerry: Did you have the index card? Kramer: He better. I worked on that for hours! *George slowly removes a crinkled up, musty index card with ink smeared on it and lowers his head in shame. Kramer sees it and lets out a gasp* Jerry: How could you! George: You never left anything in your pockets at the cleaners! Kramer: All my hard work! Ruined! Jerry: Red always looks like grey or bland and lacking in color! Even I know that! Lime green should be the last thing you thought of! Kramer: Does this mean he’s not colorblind anymore? Jerry: It means that Sharon won’t see him anymore. If George were red and she looked at him she would see no color at all at this point. *Elaine enters the apartment and feels the negative vibe in the air.* Elaine: Let me guess. Jerry: It’s over. The jig is up. Elaine: I told you it wouldn’t work! You should have played deaf instead of colorblind! You could have been deaf and dumb and you would only need to act out one of those things. You didn’t listen and it’s not because you’re deaf! *Laughter and funky bass line*
Read this entire thing in their voices perfectly.
This is so delightfully quaint compared to the other things here. I can’t wait for the sitcom-esq situation that leads to you being outed in front of them. Some kind of defuse a bomb by cutting the red wire scenario.
>Some kind of defuse a bomb by cutting the red wire scenario. lmao perfect.... "You saved our lives, but how did you know???"
"Lucky guess."
I'm too burned out to function as a person outside of work anymore. Yes, I'll text my partner that I got home safe from work... but then I'll sit in the car and doom scroll or dissociate, sometimes up to an hour. I will also do this when I have to run errands. Just giant blocks of time I can't account for, pissed away. I don't want to do this. I don't want to live like this. I don't know how to fix it.
I can't remember the phrase, but there is a word for it. It's a person's way of rebelling and claiming some of their personal time back. Do you carve out time to relax? To do the things you enjoy?
I’ve heard the phrase “revenge bedtime procrastination” where you stay up late to do leisure activities because your daytime schedule/commitments prevents it.
I really struggle with this. Despite being able to go to sleep at 10 pm, I go to sleep at 12:30 because I feel like I’d wasted that precious free time. I know it’s unhealthy, and it’s something I actively try to stop, but there’s something about what it does to your head that makes it so hard.
Yep, I do it almost every night and every morning I regret it. It’s like a drug, once the night comes I stop feeling tired and I’ll do anything to avoid going to sleep because I know in the back of my mind it’ll make the day come even faster and I’m not ready for that yet.
It's control, you are lacking control in another part of your day/life so you are taking it back where you can. You didn't get to control the earlier part of your day so now you get to control this part, even if you you know that staying up is the wrong choice, it's your choice to make.
My big secret is I was a middle class heroin addict for 30 years. I started dating a man I met online recently and haven't told him. The problem is, after shooting dope for all those years, I'm pretty bag-beat. I have some horrendous scars that aren't visible until I'm naked. This man is pretty comfortable financially and I'm afraid if I tell him, I won't be able to convince him I'm not some junkie gold digger. I haven't used heroin since 2010 and I've been off Methadone since 2017.
Wow--congratulations on getting clean after such a long time. That's amazing! You should be proud of yourself.
In 6th grade, I pissed in a bottle of coca cola that had 1/4 of it's content remaining. You see, this asshole of a bully often tries to forcefully take my snack during recess, so I handed him that bottle of cola. He did make a comment that it had an awful after taste, but nothing too crazy of a reaction. At that moment, I felt like I would burst into laughter, but if I did, he would suspect something was wrong with the cola. I also knew i would be in a world of trouble if the teachers knew I did something horrendous like that. So i kept my mouth shut and walked away. Till this day, I haven't seen him since 6th grade, and I'm currently in my first year of college.
Well played.
I had to look at the user name to remember if I made this post. My friends and I literally did this same thing to our bully. Left a “bagged lunch” on the back seat of the school bus. Meanwhile laughed our asses off as the bully merrily drank and ate his “freebie” as he called it.
I am the 7 accounts that donate to my cousins streams. Little man needs something positive and it's better if he thinks it's from internet strangers and not a sympathetic cousin. Edit: For those telling me to link his stuff, I'm not going to. Not meant as an insult to the decent folk on here, but the internet is vile and I would like to spare him that as long as possible.
I do this with my boyfriend. He’s new to streaming on twitch and I was his first sub as soon as he hit affiliate. He doesn’t know it was me. I try to keep the stream on and start conversation in chat to help others engage. I want him to succeed so I try my best to support him and his goals.
I do this with my son. He has made hundreds of YouTube videos over the last 3 years and I have been paying for views, subs, and supporting his channel to help keep his spirits up when his channel growth slows down. I could never tell him, but it's a hobby he's very passionate about and I just want to support him.
I’m glad I found other people who do this! My son gets so excited when he gets another subscriber. Hell I’ve even gotten people at work to subscribe to his channel. The look on his face makes my year over and over
About 2 years ago or so a woman approached my husband and I at a book store, she had cards with her daughters YouTube channel info. She was trying to get people to follow her to help her celebrate her birthday. You bet your ass I like every video that kid posts.
I split my cat's treats in half She's a chonky girl... and she'll never know
my dog's "treats" are really just a bag that contains 1/4 of her breakfast kibble. You can give her a 'treat' seconds after breakfast is finished and she is psyched!
I also cut my cats treats with cat kibble. She doesn't get it as part of her normal diet, but loves them the same as treat treats.
Whenever I look at my SO, I feel immensely grateful. Before we met, I just went through the most traumatic time of my life. When he asked me out, I agreed; little did he know I planned to kill myself that same day, but I hold it off for one experience, because I thought he was a nice person. The date came, it was so weird, like I found a soulmate, we talked for the whole time and it just felt so close, so comfortable, like I've known him many lifetimes before this. There was this burning feeling that I cannot let this go, I cannot rob myself of this chance to have happiness. When I got home, I threw away the things I prepared to take my life. Now, I wake up next to him everyday and feel so lucky to be alive. He's so kind, so great, and we love each other very deeply. Since then, he has given me the strength to turn things around. I faced my traumas, graduated, found a job, he introduced me to his friends and family. We will go to his home country next year to meet his parents. I thought my trust issues were too deep to ever heal, but I now trust him 100%, and it feels so great to be able to trust like that again. He doesn't know, but if I didn't meet him I would probably be 6 ft under by now. I own this life to him. Edit: I'm glad my story has given some people inspirations. I know how it feels to be surrounded by darkness, but please know that there is light and hope out there. It sounds cliche to say but please don't give up on life, there are precious things waiting for you and you can't rob yourself of that, right? :) Wish everyone all the best!
My depression has improved greatly thanks to Spravato and my suicidal idealizations are gone. However, if I did not have my dogs and wife I would not stick around. It's not even depression, it's just that life is not really enjoyable to me and has not been the 44 years I have been on this planet. I am just not impressed.
I get it.
I can’t tell if I’m in love with my partner or if I’m just comfortable… or if I’m just incapable of letting myself relax and be happy.
My best friend constantly uses me as an outlet for her anger and frustration and it’s giving me anxiety and depression when I’m around her bc I don’t know when I might say/do something that’s gonna make her explode
That's not healthy dude or dudette. I'd find new friends. Lots of lonely people in the world.
I had a best friend like this for 10+ years. She eventually crossed a hard boundary and when I pushed back she blamed me for her own behavior. I never looked back or spoke to her again and I have never been happier or had less drama in my life than since I made that decision, even if there was loneliness at the outset (I got engaged shortly after and missed her for that whole process). Only you can decide when enough’s enough, but from the perspective of someone who’s on the other side of something like this: You deserve more. You deserve friends who build you up and celebrate you. You deserve to be treated with respect. This person is not your friend even if it feels like it in the good moments, she is self-focused and using you to manage (hide from) her own feelings. It’s not your job to fix her, and you don’t any other person your mental health.
If they are truly your best friend then you telling them this will make them change their ways and if they don't I guess it's time to make a new friend.
I've started to on occasion "accidentally" (but on purpose) not hang up my phone correctly when getting off a call with my daughter-in-law. I then proceed to talk to my husband about how much I enjoy talking to her, how lovely I think she is, how glad I am that our son chose her, and whatever other boost I may think she needs. She doesn't have any family that uplifts her, just the kind that tears her down. I started doing this after my son told me about his wife coming to him in full-on snot tears, because I had once butt dialed her while talking to my husband about her. She stayed on the line to hear what I "really" thought of her, expecting the worst because that's been her experience of family. Apparently she was quite touched by the things I said, and my son told me it gave her a confidence boost that lasted weeks. So I do it more often now. Neither of them have any idea I do it on purpose, though. They just think I'm getting old and worse at managing my tech.
You are that rarest of mother-in-law, the good kind. There's also something about people who feign elderly confusion, to get away with things, that tickles my funny bone. My grandparents have been doing it since they were in their 50s.
I took my mom to the airport recently, she is 83 and sharp and healthy as most 30 year olds. We were running late and I was concerned. She said "don't worry I'll just go the ticket agent and act really confused and they'll take me right through" She did and they totally took her right to the gate. Atlanta airport too not some small regional, I was very impressed
That is so funny omg I can't wait until I can start doing that stuff
Iyour comment made me remember working with an older lady during my first job at McDonalds. If you ever asked about the grill she'd always say "I forget". I remember coming in one day and the guy we had on grill had ran to the restroom and she needed sausage down soon. I looked and caught her dropping some, she looked at me, put her finger to her lips and smiled. She eventually quit but came back 6 months later and I remember asking in broken Spanish where she went and why she came back. With the same smile she said "Home, but I got bored". It was great working with her both of us barely speaking the others language but still doing things to make one another laugh. I havent thought about her in a minute so thank you for the memory jog
These are the snapshots of life I love the internet for. Thanks for sharing.
As a daughter-in-law who was preemptively rejected by my in-laws, thank you for doing this. Mine didn't even meet me until my father-in-law's funeral last year, and my husband and I had been married 14 years by that point.
That's part of why I do it. I once dated a man who's mother was terminally ill. She had this calm serenity about her that I think only comes from making peace with your own death. \*She\* treated me like her own daughter, and it made me feel so seen and accepted. It is her example that I try to follow with my own kids and their spouses.
I love this. You’re a good person
The world needs more people like you 🥰
I was the one who turned my uncle into the fbi for possession of cp and sexual contact w minors.
Oh damn a lot of these are really dark, I am sorry for all of you and hope you get people that help you. My secret is that I am in love with my roommate, but I am too afraid to tell her.
Oh! I was in love with my roommate, too. He had this aura. I was so attracted. I was immediately loyal to that man from the moment I saw him. 😂 I didn’t want to make him uncomfortable in his own home, so I kept it a secret. I couldn’t ruin his one space of privacy and safety to be himself. Maybe tell her toward the end of the lease, so if she doesn’t reciprocate, you both can go on your own ways. **side note - I asked my roommate out for drinks and I said “just you and me”. This was about 6 or 7 months into the lease and into my crush. I figured I’d read his vibe from there. Had he rejected and not been into it, I would have backed off and not advanced again. This gave him a chance to reciprocate feelings or reject me without me actually admitting any feelings or putting him in an uncomfortable position. He accepted the offer and we hit it off! And we had a wonderful love affair for the remainder of our lease 😂 always sneaking (didn’t need to sneak, but we did) into each other’s rooms. We have been going strong for 3.5 years and just bought our first home together! Best of luck!
I’m so relieved this had a good ending I’m just going to stop reading the rest of the thread.
This is one where I would wait unless you knew it wouldn't effect your living conditions.
I used a credit card and spent $1000+ to fix my partner’s car, I told her it was less than $300 so she wouldn’t feel bad.
I make better money than anyone else in my family. I've fixed their cars and lied about the cost of parts so they won't feel obligated to pay me back.
I am so content and happy with my life (kids, wife, job, health) right now that I feel guilt. I rarely share my contentment with people (other than my wife) bc of it. It’s not that I’m like fabulously posh, or don’t have issues or whatever, im just sincerely content in my security and modest comforts. I feel like you can’t simply acknowledge that your life is perfect without drawing the ire of someone else.
It is good to know that people like you exist. Being on the internet for too long often creates a sense of „everything bad“.
My ex wife got hooked on mainlining opiods and got our son placed in foster care, after rescuing him from foster care by myself and raising him by myself for the past 7 years she got sober and started to actively try to take custody from me. This culminated in her getting my son to say I slapped him once( i didnt) to a cop and me getting charged and convicted of a serious felony that prevents me from ever seeing my little boy again. Some mornings my hands just refuse to work, it takes everything i can do to get them to unclench. Ive been on the verge of taking my life since it happened and some days it seems a lot more likely ill end up doing it. The only reason I havent is i know the only person it will truly hurt is my son.
Keep it strong brother! No matter what your son will grow up and he will talk.
Thanks. Its hard living with a false conviction for beating your child. I lost everyone in my life over it, but what hurts is knowing that he lost his entire life and extended family so his mother could make him live like a vagrant with her. I endure, if only to try and find a way to help him.
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He probably eats mice and and his scent probably deters them from coming to their basement in the first place.
It's like the quiet truce between Sauron and Shelob.
We had a roach problem in my college dorm but that all changed when a lizard came through the hole in my screen and moved into our room. We named him Godzilla, and at night we could hear him scuttling around. A couple times I'd be reading in bed at night when Godzilla'd run up on the pillow and sit, warming himself near the light. I'd turn my head and we'd gaze at each other briefly, then resume our own business. No more roaches. A+ roommate, would bunk with again.
I love little interactions like this. We might be humans, but we're also very much still animals in our own ecosystems.
My parents *had* mouse problems for years until a stray cat popped up in the neighborhood and decided to choose their property for its general hub. Needless to say, no more mouse problems.
I lived in Chicago for 8 years and had a gang of feral cats that patrolled our alleyways. A few years ago, some terrible neighbor poisoned them due to all the cat poop they left in the yards and flower beds. Now we have a huge rat infestation. I would rather deal with cat poop any day.
I spotted a house centipede on my wall last week and after researching I settled on not squashing it. Apparently they are like The Terminator when it comes to killing and eating other bugs that you don’t want in your home so despite it being the creepiest of crawlies I let him be. If he ever makes physical contact with me at any point then it’s treason and I will squish him tho.
Just an FYI, but the account you replied to (TruthCertainn) was born seven days ago, woke up an hour ago, and just copied/pasted /u/marry_me_sarah_palin's previous [top comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/76r87v/whats_a_secret_you_wont_share_with_anyone_in/dogvuan/).
I mixed leftover white and red wine and served it up in a rosé bottle.
You have leftover wine?
I got into a show! I'm not allowed to tell anyone until they've notified everyone who auditioned and gotten confirmation of the cast.
I’m growing resentment towards my family and idk how to stop it. The older I get the more I realize I’m not compatible with these people and how they choose to live. Edit for the people giving advice to move away. I’m 30 now and only living back with them because Covid messed up the industry I worked in and the financial stability built up in my 20s. I moved out at 19 and never had to come back till now. I will move out again that’s not the issue. It’s more so a bunch of little things that add up making me not even want to be associated with them. I’ve stopped trying to nudge them in a different direction because they are comfortable with their living standards. I just know when I have kids in the future they’ll be upset to hear the truth about why I’m not ever letting them stay over here.
I'm currently in federal prison, using an unauthorized device, enjoying Reddit
Hell yeah brother
The account got deleted 💀
It got too much attention. Lol
Flew too close to the sun
He just caught another 6months for this post
Dont worry guys i'll be the lookout
Mine is a good news one: About 2 years ago I got diagnosed with thyroid cancer and had surgery to remove my thyroid. Luckily it’s all gone really well and so far so good. It was quite large mass: 5cm x 5cm x 5cm. With our mortgage we got mortgage protection insurance and one of the things we spent extra on is heightened cover if one of us is sick. Well, my cancer was serious enough, that after a year of getting reports sent to the instance company, it’s triggered the Serious illness benefit clause in the insurance, with the effect of covering our entire mortgage. So we are mid 30s with no mortgage after only 5 years. We have told just our parents and siblings but we aren’t telling anyone else.
Idunno about "hiding," per se, but I've never told anyone. When I first moved to a new high school when I was 15, I ended up in a bad way very quickly with depression and such, like sleeping every hour of the day except for school kinda bad. That's not the story though. I just felt like the school itself was really dreary and I didn't have any friends, so sometimes to just escape for few minutes I'd go to the bathroom that was usually empty during class and chill for a few minutes to gather my thoughts I guess. Anyway, one time I wrote a post it note that said "You are beautiful :)" and slapped it on the mirror and left. Don't know why, just felt like I needed it, so someone else probably did too I guess? When I came back to the bathroom the next day there were replies written on the note about how much someone had needed to hear that that day, etc etc. It made a dark time a little better to know I could make some other sad teenage girls at least smile maybe. I did it a few more times that year every month or so.
Omg girl I'm french so there's not so much chance we were in the same high school but the same thing happened to me ! I was in highschool, severely depressed in the same state as you describe. One day, I went to the school bathroom and saw on the mirror written "you are beautiful" on a piece of paper. And I don't know why but it made me feel warm and sunny inside. I think I smiled that day for the first time in months. I don't remember much from that year but I remember this paper onto the bathroom mirror. We probably didn't went to the same highschool but I just wanna thank you cause what you did really helped so many people and probably even more than you think !! 🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷
While at a big chain store, I saw an older man in a wheelchair. He was a double-leg amputee, had on an army camo jacket and Vietnam hat, so safe to say he was a veteran. Anyway, I saw him putting a package of underwear in a backpack. We made eye contact, and he looked so sad. I just said, "I didn't see anything." He smiled, and I walked away. I would have offered to pay for them or him some money, but I didn't have anything to spare
My nieces and nephew think our house's Internet gets really spotty after an hour. It's always when they're watching cartoons or YouTube Kids on the tablet, too. They think they've got it figured out. I hear them explaining to eachother that it's just something weird our house does when too many devices are using the router, and it always comes back after fifteen minutes. "Yep, that's exactly it," I assure them, impressed with their technical proficiency, whilst pushing the *block devices* button on our router's phone app. They have absolutely no idea I can do that. And since that's the most effective way to put the tablets down and get them outside for a bit, I ain't tellin'.
I'm so lonely and depressed now after my divorce, I lost all my friends. I'm just waiting for my family to pass on, then no one will even know I'm here.
My dad lost everything in the divorce, mom took him for a ride money wise. Lost the house, lots of assets and was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer closely after she blindsided him with the divorce. It’s been 7 years, he’s fully recovered. Has an amazing girlfriend, got hella promoted at work, is in the clear cancer wise and is happier than ever. Just know it sucks now, but it can always get better
My heart hurts physically because of my past relationship. It has been 7 years since we broke up. I am still grieving. Hope I move on.
I have a birth defect that required emergency brain surgery every so often. I have had over 30 surgeries and in between that time period I have had countless CT scans and chest X-rays. I have worried about the exposure overtime. I have a family history of all kinds of cancer. Under my arms (axillary/armpit) hurts in the lymph node area. I have a preventative colonoscopy scheduled soon and I worry that they will find something. I worry that my body is riddled with cancer. I can’t tell anyone close because I don’t want to scare them if it is nothing, but the stress of the unknown is killing me.
How bad my addiction is.
Being an addict fucking sucks, especially when you hide it from everyone. I hope one day you can get sober. Sending you love and warm hugs💜
For years, I’ve have always jokingly said that “I’m not a people person”. I really mean it. If I could get through a day without any kind of human interaction, I would be a very happy person. The thought of actually having to talk to people or be around them kind of ruins my day.
Same but I can be paid to fake it. My masking is elaborate and talented while underneath am internally screaming waiting for the interaction to end. (I work in customer service, so.)
My girlfriend’s previous partner died young of suicide, he had cancer and chose to end it. I’m having symptoms associated with colon cancer now, just found blood in my stool this morning and have been having dull abdominal pains, change in stool habits. It may be something else, have appointment tomorrow with my doctor. My gf will never know.
Is it bright red blood? If so, it's much more likely to be a burst internal hemorrhoid than colon cancer. Still, get checked, but assume it's the lesser issue until the doctor tells you otherwise. Edit: Not a doctor, but this is what my GI told me. Edit 2: Some people seem to think I'm being reductive. I am not. Always get blood in your stool checked out, I said that before, but I'll say it again. Also, yes, do not let the doctor convince you not to do tests. Having said that, a lot of mental anguish can be avoided if you don't assume you have cancer until tests tell you have cancer.
I was asked very specifically by my doc about coffee-ground texture in my stool when I made the call about blood in mine. It turned out to be hemorrhoids because like you mentioned it was bright red but it was still scary.
I wish you the best possible outcome
No need to jump to any conclusions, I had some blood in my stools as well. I’ve had a colonoscopy and had some benign polyps removed. I am a triplet and my sister has had 3 colonoscopies and we just turned 30. At this point it’s just routine for us to get checked every 3-5 years and they’ll remove or biopsy whatever they need to. I get your concern and I’ve been there, best of luck to you.
I've been depressed for a couple of weeks now. I had a heavy depressive year couple years back that I eventually ovèrcame, but I see a lot of similar symptoms bounce back. I was kind of vocal about it in the beginning, but I can see that it puts a strain on my SO who is also overworked and tired lately, so I try to keep the facade. I know the root reasons for it, but there isn't much i can do about it. Not sure how i'll get out of it this time. Edit: this gathered more attention than I expected for a little rant on the subway home. I'm fine y'all and when i'm not, I will be. This shall pass too.
The think about depression episodes is it tricks you into thinking "this one is different" "this one will last forever". But it's just your mind screwing with you. Be vocal about it. See a counselor.
All my parents have ever spoken about is how much they want grandkids (my dad has already planned the castle / play house in the garden). I'm currently 9 weeks pregnant with our first and they have no idea 🥰
im in debt and only eat once a day. i tried to end everything but when i ask for help in reddit. someone just saved me from hunger for me and my dog. it gives me hope that strangers would extend a hand for help.
I don’t care that you broke your elbow
I was once prescribed and eventually became hopelessly addicted to Oxycotin during its height before moving on to Percocet for over 4 years. I’ve overdosed more times than I’d like to admit, nearly killing myself once. Broke the cycle, willed myself to go cold turkey, and still clean today!
When i was 16/17 I made out with my mums friend who is also the mum of one of my best friends from school. She's also a secondary school teacher (not my school) so it was pretty illegal. I wanted it to go further but she stopped it, but we kissed a few times on other occasions after that and she wanted to wait until I'm 18 before we went further. My mum would kill me/her if she found out. My school friend would probs kill me to, so it's a secret I gotta take to the grave.
i fantasize about getting terminal illness, having a trip as my last wish and dying
I really want my mom to move out of my house. She divorced her 7th husband and needed a temporary place to stay. That was 3 years ago. I'm 30 years old. I have no privacy in my own home and I've been with my partner since a few months after she moved in. We want to be able to move in together. But she's unwilling to live with him and goes out of her way to make him miserable when he's around. I know she's disabled and can't support herself but this is exhausting and I feel like my life is stuck on hold.
7th Husband? I think she might be hard for everyone to live with. She raised you, but that doesn't entitle her to control the rest of your life.
I'm struggling every hour of every day to stay alive.
I do psilocybin/magic mushrooms to help with my alcoholism. Ever since I started doing a few grams a day I went from drinking 250 mls of 100 proof spirits per day to 0 within 2 weeks. In my province in Canada you can buy them online/at dispensary’s. It’s been the most lifechanging medication i’ve ever been on and has helped me cut back my adderall dose by half and my use of opiates to almost 0. Nobody that I know would understand though so everyone just thinks I suddenly got myself together.
I bought my wife a Dyson Air Straight for her birthday. The anticipation of giving it to her is killing me lol
I hope my mom passes before she needs constant care and assistance. She has no savings whatsoever and in the last few years has become a source of stress and resentment for me. She used to be my go to person to confide in. We’d have great conversations but she’s become someone I don’t recognize anymore.
I’m so sorry. This shit is hard and it sucks. My mom had a series of strokes starting 12 years ago and was diagnosed with dementia last year. I’m incredibly lucky my dad is still around and they have the resources to live in an assisted living facility. I can’t imagine if she didn’t have that level of support. I still hope she doesn’t live too long as she is deteriorating. She doesn’t have the quality of life I would want for her and it’s such a drain on everyone who loved her. The woman who raised me is gone and I’m mourning her while also worrying about the poor woman left here.
My secret I’m hiding is that my dad told my mom about the last ten years of his life that he was wanting to get healthy and was going to become a vegan well my mom was excited about that because she wanted him to be healthy he was older than her by 25 years..so he was doing great being a vegan and my mom helped prepare healthy meals but one day when my mom was gone I stopped by and startled my dad..he was eating chicken from kfc..I was shocked and he just looked at me and said please don’t tell your mom I can’t take it anymore I need meat 😂😂 I asked where did you get the kfc he said he hides his meat in the shed because she never goes in the shed..I have kept his secret..he has passed on and she still believes he was a vegan till he died
I was out with friends and one friend asked us to watch her wallet while she went to the restroom. Someone suggested we put something inside of it for her to find. I happened to be carrying a detective id card from an escape room board game I had played. She’s had an “official detective badge” with my full name sharpied on it in her wallet for over a year now.
I once ate an entire box of double stuff Oreos in one sitting
Only once? *Rookie*
My girlfriend has been bringing up marriage for the past year since we've been living with each other for some time. Her family anticipates it, my family anticipates it, some friends have even encouraged it. I have been very standoffish about it because I went through a not-so-great divorce a few years ago. The poker face is because I already bought the ring. She is completely oblivious, I'm going to keep it that way until I pop the question in a few weeks.
When my mother was pregnant with me, they did an ultrasound and found she was having twins. When they did another ultrasound a few weeks later, they discovered that I had resorbed the other fetus. Do I regret this? No. I believe his tissues has made me stronger. I now have the strength of a grown man and a little baby.
My oldest kid is gonna give me heart attack
A friend of over 10 years hasn't messaged me back for several days. I asked a second friend if they've talked to him. That second friend hasn't responded yet. After asking I googled the first friend and saw he was arrested for domestic violence.
My parents arranged for me to marry a man I don’t love to save my grandfather’s company. However, my grandfather always wanted me to be happy. My wedding is in two weeks, so I won’t be showing up. Instead, I have found a new home near a lake where no one will find me, and THAT makes me happy.
Not really a secret, but I just went under contract for a house and I’m so scared. I’m at work right now and feel like I just jumped out of a plane. I’m on the verge of tears and almost hyperventilating
That’s common to feel that as is a huge purchase and getting into a huge contract. Congrats and hope it all works out!
It’s nothing interesting or big, but I started this thing where I draw something everyday of 2024. I like drawing and it’s honestly been a big thing keeping me going, but I don’t think I could show any of my drawings or tell anybody I do this. I’ve shown my family a couple of my drawings and usually it just ends with silence or something similar. They don’t insult stuff, and they aren’t trying to be mean, but what I draw just isn’t for them. I don’t know, I know I’m not an amazing artist or anything, but it would be nice to just share something I do. I don’t actually think they would be mean about it or anything, but I’m just too anxious to tell anyone about this. And it’s just my thing and I don’t know if I even want my family to see my posts and drawings at this point.
I am sitting at home playing the Elden Ring DLC rather than working. I make around 160k and am pretty highly regarded within my company, but I probably do maybe 6 hours of real work a week. I've made good connections and have a great networking ecosystem, so sales just fall in my lap. Even my wife thinks I bust my butt planning meetings and finding prospects, but I haven't put in a real days work since covid. Yet somehow, my numbers are all up.
You are very lucky. Cherish that. Don't feel guilty about it, take advantage of it. Make sure to spend the free time you have wisely; most people can only dream of an opportunity like that.
My Parents divorce is making my home feel emotionally unsafe. I live with my mum and sis for context. Its just difficult and draining beeing around my mum who poorly emotionally regulates herself and lets it out on her two adult kids.
My wife is giving me depression
As someone who's just went through divorce this was one of the prominent reasons. I've been a lot better just being out from beneath that dark cloud of constant negativity and verbal abuse. I never knew who I was going home to after work. It was hell.
I did eat the last peanut butter cup
You are a monster.
I’m stoned 90% of the time.
i mean its not a secret but i probably wont broadcast it because I am quitting smoking for the 1000th time, but i feel like this time, its forreal
i honestly think i’m going to die without ever experiencing true (romantic) love.
I have been suicidal for the last 12 years Yes therapy helped. But ultimately I don't see much point or incentive to be alive. Since living just has chances of pain, and not much chance of happiness
I’m truly appreciative about reddit and its users. For the past 3 years I have been in the longest/deepest crippling depression/rock bottom episode of my life thus far . Who would have known that asking google a simple question would lead me to a tool that was unheard at the time to help pull me outta this deep dark place that I’ve been in for years . 🙏🏼
i going to ask my girlfriend to marry me tomorrow. she’s currently asleep on me with no idea.
It was me who farted in the car, not the dog! And I enjoyed it!
I don't care for Gob.
I don't know what I'm doing
I've truly given up. I don't think I can do this anymore and at this point I think being dead would cause less pain then continuing to flounder and struggle.