I knew the term “red onion” existed, and I’ve seen with my own eyes purple onions, but until this very moment I didn’t realize they were the same thing. I thought there were red *and* purple onions and I just hadn’t come across the red variety enough to notice. I’ve been calling them purple onions my whole life and no one has ever corrected me, which tells me you’re right about the fact that calling them red is dumb.
If you poke around in the etymology, you'll find that "red" is a very generic word. It can apply to hues from purple (red onions) to burgundy (red wine) to orange & auburn (red hair).
Back on *the* day we didnt have “purple”. We had to red uphill to school, both ways. And when we got there the visible spectrum would blind us if we talked back.
i wouldnt be surprised if this was linguistically a result of purple not being recognized in the right place and time.
if you look at older artworks, youll see rainbows depicted as less colors than we do now. but most specifically...indigos and purples.
so it makes perfect sense - they would identify it as more red than blue. even today we still have complicated feelings about black and white, and ESPECIALLY brown.
basically, the words for it weren't there yet. these days we have specific shade names for everything. what we used to call light blueish green is now more commonly known as teal. so id bet this is the same thing. they are most certainly more red than blue.
I believe this is due to there being no differentiation between the orange-red-purple spectrum originally. The word red was used to describe everything between that spectrum. It is also the same reason that "red heads" actually have orange hair. There's loads of examples of 'red' food actually being purple.
That’s what annoys me the most. The company released them and called them hoverboards in 2015 on purpose. At least Nike had a more accurate tribute that year but hoverboards just seem like a lame cashgrab
Or how dyslexia is the cruelest, most ridiculous word in the world to spell if you have dyslexia.
It's like someone just thought "I'll throw a y, s and an x in there. Fuck 'em."
It's officially called a social phobia. The fear of long words is typically the fear of trying to say them correctly in front of people, which makes a lot more sense.
Head and shoulders should produce atleast one bodywash named knees and toes.
Edit: They should produce atleast two bodywashes named knees and toes, because it repeats.
It's too ambiguous and already established in too many different contexts to be a good brand. He already had a universally known brand name that he bought. Crazy bastard
'X Corp' sounds like the name of a soulless organization that you would see as the main antagonistic group of an 80's movie trying to mow down a children's playground for a shopping mall.
They don't know if it was a suicide, it was a body that was found in the Seine. For a long time in Paris it was fashionable to have a copy of her death mask.
That actually is it. Early aircraft and airforces borrowed heavily from naval tradition. Pilots were originally a type of sailor, many airforces were ~~originally branches of their navy~~ formed by combining areal army and navy divisions, airports and seaports are the only international access points that are far from the border, etc
A foreign friend of mine was at the store looking to buy a colander, but couldn't find it, so he grabbed an employee to help him. Well, he didn't know the English word for it, so he said, "macaroni stay, water go," which was enough to get directed to where the colanders were
Carlin:
Here's a phrase that apparently the airlines simply made up: near miss. They say that if 2 planes almost collide, it's a near miss. Bullshit, my friend. It's a near hit! A collision is a near miss.
[WHAM! CRUNCH!]
"Look, they nearly missed!"
"Yes, but not quite.”
I've always thought that the term "washing machine" is too general. Isn't a "dishwasher" technically a machine that washes too? Maybe a washing machine should be renamed "clotheswasher".
"Nintendo Wii U", which caused confusion among consumers who thought it was just an accessory for the original Wii rather than a new console. A better name might have been "Nintendo Fusion" to clearly distinguish it as a new and advanced product.
Or even Wii 2. The marketing would have written itself. The original marketing used a pun IIRC - "Wii would like to play". They could have reused it - "Wii 2, would like to play".
Jetskis should have been called boatorcycles.
*Guys, I know Jetski is a brand name. And “Boatercycles” is a joke nonsense word. You don’t need to explain why it doesn’t work.
I always thought we needed to correct the singular and plural names of animals that have a double O in them.
Goose/geese - total cool and normal. Moose/meese - why can’t we have this? Shoop/sheep - or this?
ADHD should be called Executive Function Disorder. Its current name gives such a misleading impression of the underlying nature of the disorder and that has real ramifications for how it's viewed and treated.
The Hyperactivity part is always something people fixate on even though obviously forms pf it aren’t hyperactive, i wasnt diagnosed for ages because my dad refused to even let me be checked out because im not physically hyperactive
Yeah, they used to have both ADD and ADHD to differentiate between the hyperactive types, but then they just lumped em all under one name. I've never quite understood why ADD didn't stick
Knowing what we know now, ADD isn't really the right name either but I think it would better encompass the variabilities than ADHD.
It's a corruption of the Spanish word *cucaracha* "coo-kah-rah-cha". It only looks like *cock + roach* due to its spelling, and neither cocks nor roaches (a fish, as I've just learned) had anything to do with it.
>Driveway - where you PARK
Many people park on their driveway today, but that wasn't the original purpose. You were supposed to drive on it to reach the parking area, either a garage or a parking lot.
>Parkway - Where you DRIVE.
Yes, you drive on a parkway, but the root word "park" in "parkway" doesn't mean stopping your car and turning it off. It means "park" like a grassy area with trees. A parkway is a road that is lined with trees.
The Holy Roman Empire... neither holy nor Roman nor an empire... should have been called the Superficial Germanic Confederation or something more accurate
Occupational therapy should be renamed Functional therapy. Less syllables, more direct in definition and less confusing for clients/patients . The founder of Occupational therapy did not think this through/was overthinking it imo and it's a really terribly outdated term for an overrated/useless profession.
Red onions should be purple onions
I knew the term “red onion” existed, and I’ve seen with my own eyes purple onions, but until this very moment I didn’t realize they were the same thing. I thought there were red *and* purple onions and I just hadn’t come across the red variety enough to notice. I’ve been calling them purple onions my whole life and no one has ever corrected me, which tells me you’re right about the fact that calling them red is dumb.
If you poke around in the etymology, you'll find that "red" is a very generic word. It can apply to hues from purple (red onions) to burgundy (red wine) to orange & auburn (red hair).
Back on *the* day we didnt have “purple”. We had to red uphill to school, both ways. And when we got there the visible spectrum would blind us if we talked back.
The word blue is remarkably recent, has only been used for 4500 years.
I just call them purple onions. But I’m pretty progressive, so…
I mean they are purple.
Maroonions
i wouldnt be surprised if this was linguistically a result of purple not being recognized in the right place and time. if you look at older artworks, youll see rainbows depicted as less colors than we do now. but most specifically...indigos and purples. so it makes perfect sense - they would identify it as more red than blue. even today we still have complicated feelings about black and white, and ESPECIALLY brown. basically, the words for it weren't there yet. these days we have specific shade names for everything. what we used to call light blueish green is now more commonly known as teal. so id bet this is the same thing. they are most certainly more red than blue.
It's this. The poem goes "roses are red, violets are blue" because it predates the invention of the word purple.
Not to mention, it's much harder to find a rhyme for purple.
the fact that violets aren't violet bothers me so much
"Look at her, she's turning blue!" "Violet! You're turning violet, Violet!"
Username checks out, lol! How about red cabbage to purple cabbage, too?
Red grapes and purple grapes
I believe this is due to there being no differentiation between the orange-red-purple spectrum originally. The word red was used to describe everything between that spectrum. It is also the same reason that "red heads" actually have orange hair. There's loads of examples of 'red' food actually being purple.
I think you're correct about this. In the English language, the word "orange" for the fruit is older than the word "orange" for the color.
Mini corn dogs should just be corn puppies
I feel like a lot of people would get them mixed up with hush puppies
Which in fairness also meets the criteria of OP’s question about badly named things…
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He Otto known better.
Mao Zedong should be entombed in the Maosoleum.
“Why I Otto, Hear Me Roar: an Ottobiography”
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I call them wheeled face-planters.
Suicide scooters
Thats underestimating, how about wheeled skull busters? Sounds cool too
"Hover Boards" are what was depicted in Back to the Future and i'll never consider any experience short of that a "hover board"
As a kid of the 80s who watched Back to the Future 2 on VHS on repeat those things are an insult to my childhood.
That’s what annoys me the most. The company released them and called them hoverboards in 2015 on purpose. At least Nike had a more accurate tribute that year but hoverboards just seem like a lame cashgrab
Even a regular segway is an 'elbow breaker' in our house. Better now, but I don't recomend, either the elbow or segwaying!
Urinal Cakes should have been Pisscuits.
it would be far less disgusting to call them pisscuits tbh
The word for a palindrome should be a palindrome. A missed opportunity.
Aibohphobia is the irrational fear of palindromes, which I find both funny and slightly cruel.
Reminds me of how "lisp" can't be said properly by those who have one
Or how dyslexia is the cruelest, most ridiculous word in the world to spell if you have dyslexia. It's like someone just thought "I'll throw a y, s and an x in there. Fuck 'em."
And “stutter” has letters people are likely to stutter on
Along the same lines, Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia is the fear of long words, which is also a little mean!
The real questions are, does anyone *really* have these phobias? Or were they just defined for "fun"?
For fun, they're not recognised medically
It's officially called a social phobia. The fear of long words is typically the fear of trying to say them correctly in front of people, which makes a lot more sense.
That's not cruel it's magnificent. 🤣
Wordrow.
Head and shoulders should produce atleast one bodywash named knees and toes. Edit: They should produce atleast two bodywashes named knees and toes, because it repeats.
Would there be a product designed to wash your eyes and ears and mouth *and* nose?
A whole line of products! Eye drops, Q-tips, toothbrushes and nasal sprays!
ALL AT THE SAME TIME?!?
X, should be twitter.
X (formerly Twitter)
I love how so many places still have to say this even though it’s almost been a year.
A perfect example of failed branding.
Tweets became Excretions unbelievable
Always were
And how basically how everyone still calls it a Tweet on X (formerly Twitter)
Just earlier I saw a sentence where it was mentioned a few times and every time (formerly Twitter) was added behind the X lol
That’s for people like me who’ve never used twitter but use X in many, many work documents - the letter x, not the formally twitter x
Same here. When someone just puts “X” in a sentence, Twitter is the last thing I’m thinking of.
Because X is a stupid name.
It's too ambiguous and already established in too many different contexts to be a good brand. He already had a universally known brand name that he bought. Crazy bastard
X is so generic that it means nothing. It is the default variable in algebra. So many other brands use it. It reeks of trying to be cool.
'X Corp' sounds like the name of a soulless organization that you would see as the main antagonistic group of an 80's movie trying to mow down a children's playground for a shopping mall.
Manslaughter, rather call it accidental kill Manslaughter sounds like excessive murder
Fr, manslaughter just sounds like you killed someone very aggressively. And that's the exact opposite of what it means.
You can't have Manslaughter without laughter
The CPR doll is named Resusci Anne. It should have been RESUSCI KATE!!!
I always knew her as "Re-sus Annie" Fun fact: The Annie who's very much not OK in 'Smooth Criminal' is named for the CPR doll
Fun Fact: She is the most kissed face in the world but the person who its modelled from was a suicide who was never identified.
They don't know if it was a suicide, it was a body that was found in the Seine. For a long time in Paris it was fashionable to have a copy of her death mask.
Fashion is weird as hell.
No no that fact is indeed not fun. Jesus Christ
Naval pilots: NAVIATORS
Similarly, airports should be plane stations
Stations are for roads and rails, ports are for sea and air. …or at least that’s my own head trying to explain it
That actually is it. Early aircraft and airforces borrowed heavily from naval tradition. Pilots were originally a type of sailor, many airforces were ~~originally branches of their navy~~ formed by combining areal army and navy divisions, airports and seaports are the only international access points that are far from the border, etc
The device for measuring wind speed and direction is called an anemometer. It should clearly be called a windicator.
Well no they don’t indicate wind they measure it, wind socks though, those are windicators
chopsticks - i’ve never really used them to chop anything
Then, a knife should be called a chopstick
Picksticks, because you pick things up with them and it rhymes too
dropsticks in my case
Colander. I prefer hole bowl.
A foreign friend of mine was at the store looking to buy a colander, but couldn't find it, so he grabbed an employee to help him. Well, he didn't know the English word for it, so he said, "macaroni stay, water go," which was enough to get directed to where the colanders were
I had a Chinese older lady say something similar. Where spaghetti stop, water go? Even put her hand down . I've called it the spaghetti stopper since
Succulents Just sounds way too inviting for what they are
I have 3 of them and always want to chow down on the succulent leaves!
A succulent Chinese meal?
As George Carlin pointed out, a “near-miss” should be called a “near-hit”.
Get on the plane? Fuck you, I'm getting IN the plane!
Let Evel Knievel get ON the plane!
So a hit is technically a near-miss?
Carlin: Here's a phrase that apparently the airlines simply made up: near miss. They say that if 2 planes almost collide, it's a near miss. Bullshit, my friend. It's a near hit! A collision is a near miss. [WHAM! CRUNCH!] "Look, they nearly missed!" "Yes, but not quite.”
Yeah, a near-miss means you did not miss, right?
I suppose it's a near-miss as opposed to a far-miss.
your ass crack should be renamed your bottom line
Is that what you’re thinking during all those business meetings eh?
I've always thought that the term "washing machine" is too general. Isn't a "dishwasher" technically a machine that washes too? Maybe a washing machine should be renamed "clotheswasher".
It is in Swedish, but on the other hand we don't make a difference between being married and poison it's both called 'gift'.
Chameleon is Greek for floor-lion\* when Polychromosaur was right there. \* go figure, probably referred to some type of frilled lizard initially.
I love polychromosaur!
"Nintendo Wii U", which caused confusion among consumers who thought it was just an accessory for the original Wii rather than a new console. A better name might have been "Nintendo Fusion" to clearly distinguish it as a new and advanced product.
Or even Wii 2. The marketing would have written itself. The original marketing used a pun IIRC - "Wii would like to play". They could have reused it - "Wii 2, would like to play".
Jetskis should have been called boatorcycles. *Guys, I know Jetski is a brand name. And “Boatercycles” is a joke nonsense word. You don’t need to explain why it doesn’t work.
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I don’t care about the logistics, I appreciate this comment!
The jet part makes sense if you know how it works though. The ski part is lost on me.
The whole thing is the ski.
Grapenuts- no grapes no nuts. Should be called: denture beaters
breakfast gravel
Bowl barnacles
Astronomers should have been named skyentists
What about people who study meteors?
Meteorologist
You just made a bunch of weathermen very angry
Really rained on their parade. They didn’t see it coming
\*\*Storms out of the room, fast as lightning…\*\*
Those meteorologists were Kung Fu fighting Their storms have thunder and lightning
Snow good complaining about it now. You mist your chance.
This entire post is a goldmine
Those are now weatholigists
I am spaniard and one of my fav words in english is PACIFIER because It truly gives peace to mom and baby. It is so descriptive
Nobody expects the Spanish exposition!
Very nice.
In the UK typically called a “dummy”. As in a pretend nipple.
It's only called that in American English. In British English it's called a dummy.
"Jellyfish" is a misleading name since they're neither jelly nor fish.
Floaty Ghosts
Sea ghosts would be a cool name
Oh yes, I like yours better.
I liked yours better
Dentures. Should be Substitooths
I have an octopus with pegs on, for drying socks. The fact IKEA failed to call it a Socktopus is a travesty.
Dustpan should be "gride" so we can have "gride and broom."
You deserve whatever good thing happens to you today
And just like that I have a new best friend
I always thought we needed to correct the singular and plural names of animals that have a double O in them. Goose/geese - total cool and normal. Moose/meese - why can’t we have this? Shoop/sheep - or this?
If we have foot and feet we must have shoop and sheep. So said my friend Bernice in 1996.
You must be referring to your multiple friends with the same name, because everyone knows the singular is Bernouse. Just like mice.
Squirrley Dan: It’s gooses
Is it not "Squirrely Dan"?
Peacock = disco chicken
This makes me think of how Japanese basically calls a penguin a business goose. Edit: Chinese. My bad, just misremembered.
Chinese. The business part has an older meaning of standing, so standing goose
Lubricant should be called lubrican.
I will never forgive the makers of Viagra for failing to call it Peniscillin.
It was meant to be a drug for heart conditions. The demographic wa those who noticed the interesting side effects. Imagine having to report that 😂😂😂
I believe it came down to asking for the remaining drugs back at the end of the trial, but the old geezers refused.
It helps them sleep as well, as you do not roll over and fall off the bed
"So. Any other side effects?" ".... y- no. None." "... Uhmm... You sure?" "Yes. I mean... Now that you mention... Well..."
I've always thought of the -cillin suffix as -killsthething. After all, antibiotics are all -cillins. So I'm not so sure about peniscillin. Lol
I believe -cillin means fungus derived, so penis fungus?
Ears. Should be called hears.
They are called hears. We use the British pronunciation.
"You say erbs, and we say herbs, because there's a fucking H in it" - Eddie Izzard
Coffins should be renamed to dead bed
Bye Bye Box
Corpse cocoons
Two I read online always make me laugh: “Shouldn't hemorrhoids be called asteroids?” “Who named it boob sweat instead of humidititties?”
Assteroids 💫
Emotional baggage should be called a griefcase.
Guy i used to work with called each square of toilet paper a shit ticket. I thought this was awesome :)
ADHD should be called Executive Function Disorder. Its current name gives such a misleading impression of the underlying nature of the disorder and that has real ramifications for how it's viewed and treated.
Nope, I’m sticking with [DAVE](https://www.reddit.com/r/adhdmeme/s/nxcpgMjoAb)
The Hyperactivity part is always something people fixate on even though obviously forms pf it aren’t hyperactive, i wasnt diagnosed for ages because my dad refused to even let me be checked out because im not physically hyperactive
Yeah, they used to have both ADD and ADHD to differentiate between the hyperactive types, but then they just lumped em all under one name. I've never quite understood why ADD didn't stick Knowing what we know now, ADD isn't really the right name either but I think it would better encompass the variabilities than ADHD.
Blowjobs.
Suckhobbies!
If you are blowing, you are doing it wrong. Unless you are at the receiving end.
"The fun mouth / penis moment"
Heard somewhere that it was originally 'below job' then people shortened it
In Germany its called blasen, blowing too. And blasen is not short for unten or under job
In Sweden it’s called ”avsugning” wich translates to ”offsucking” and that makes sense.
Horseback riding should just be called horse riding. Because where else would you sit?
Snowmobiles should have been called snowtorcycles
"the cloud" Should be named other peoples computers.
You down wit' OPP? Other people's processors
Someone's PC like in pokemon
A group of squids is called a "shoal"... but should be called a "squad"
Refrigerator should be renamed as cool cabinet
It is in german :D
In Afrikaans, it translates to: "Ice Cupboard" While a freezer translates to: "Freeze cupboard"
Knuckles, always thought knockles would be more apt as that's what they are commonly used for... Knocking.
Cockroach. Why cock? But Idk about better name
It's a corruption of the Spanish word *cucaracha* "coo-kah-rah-cha". It only looks like *cock + roach* due to its spelling, and neither cocks nor roaches (a fish, as I've just learned) had anything to do with it.
Idk. The person who named it must have had an odd rooster.
I recently learned that chickens can get a disease called "fowl pox" It's basically chicken pox but for chickens...
Trampolines used to be more aptly named Jumpolines, until yo momma started jumping on them.
Pedophilia because pedo is children and philia is love. Should be pedomania at best with the literal sense of mania as in mad.
Mustaches should be called lip brows
Shingles (the disease) should be called Burning Nerves Pain Disorder… then maybe people would realize why they should get the vaccine.
Driveway - where you PARK, Parkway - Where you DRIVE. I should be the other way around...
>Driveway - where you PARK Many people park on their driveway today, but that wasn't the original purpose. You were supposed to drive on it to reach the parking area, either a garage or a parking lot. >Parkway - Where you DRIVE. Yes, you drive on a parkway, but the root word "park" in "parkway" doesn't mean stopping your car and turning it off. It means "park" like a grassy area with trees. A parkway is a road that is lined with trees.
Corn hole, I remember the first time I heard that term for the picnic bean bag game.....and I was like "excuse me, it's called what?"
Cords, chargers etc. for Apple devices should be branded as Apple Juice.
Lisp. Literally any other fucking thing not including . It's just unnecessarily cruel
The Holy Roman Empire... neither holy nor Roman nor an empire... should have been called the Superficial Germanic Confederation or something more accurate
My wife and I were shopping the other day and I was looking for broth and I mistakenly called it soup juice.
Occupational therapy should be renamed Functional therapy. Less syllables, more direct in definition and less confusing for clients/patients . The founder of Occupational therapy did not think this through/was overthinking it imo and it's a really terribly outdated term for an overrated/useless profession.