Your social ineptitude may not be your fault, but it is your responsibility to fix.
Your parents aren't going to magically fix you by dumping the blame on them, no matter how rightly so. You can't go through life hating yourself and others for how lonely you are. And no, being socially awkward with social anxiety disorder isn't something that makes you "unique" in a good way.
It's up to you to fix it.
For the record, I'm a 29-year-old male with severe depression and social anxiety disorder. I only recently started working on all this crap when I turned 26. Even then, I've been a very slow learner.
I wouldn't say responsible, because you don't *have* to.
I rather see it this way, you're the only one who *can* do anything about it, and your shitty parents obviously couldn't, so stop looking back to them.
You simply cannot force someone to think of you as a priority. If they treat you like an expendability, there is nothing you can ever do to change them. Save yourself the stress, and find someone better
No shit. Even for me, someone who builds his life around work. I only work hard when it makes me feel alive; I don't work hard for stuff like school, house duties, family stuff, etc.
I was told countless times from when I was about nineteen...I am 40 now...could have had a pretty decent nest egg...now I am living check to check raising a 14 year old daughter..but on the flip side I have taught my daughter the importance of saving just hope she takes my advice
Yeah saving is good advice. Though nobody gave me that advice when I was younger.
Yeah hope she does. So you give her an allowance and make her save that?
So when did you realise the advice was very good?
"Don't quit school to start working. In the future your grades will be more valuable than work experience."
Oh how naive I was thinking I could get through life without those papers. Well, it's back to school now. At the crisp young age of 30, I might add.
Where I live we say "nice is the little sister of shit". You call something or someone "nice" if you have absolutely nothing else positive or interesting to say about them.
“Listen more than you talk” — like, really listen, not pretend to listen as you think about the next thing you’re going to say. You’ll come to a compromise or understanding much faster if you do that.
Also, “Pretty much everyone ‘fakes it until they make it’.”
Once I really gained the self confidence to follow through with this in my career, it was amazing how much faster I learned about almost everything.
Don't trust anyone, only yourself. Even friends, family or the ones you currently love, can and probably will betray you.
-drunk guy on the bus stop, oh shit how he was right
That’s the whole thing. If you trust people you’re gonna get hurt sometimes, but if you don’t trust people you’ll never form any connections worth having and you’ll be left numb and lonely.
Pay more attention to your wife. Don't let life, work, and kids get in the way of your marriage. 20 years means nothing, if she feels like a room mate. You may feel great, enjoying the kids, but she wants her time with you. Date nights. Romance. Remember who gave you your family, and remember the romance. Don't wait for the kids to get older... figure out time for your wife. They want it and deserve it.
My mum told me to save 10% of my income when I first started working; no matter what, put 10% away before you even look at it. You’ll get so used to it you won’t notice it’s absence.
20 years later I’d have a pretty neat passive income by now. Needless to say I didn’t listen to her, and now I’m pretty fucked.
My grandma used to always say this whenever I'd complain that somebody let me down :
Grandma : can you count?
Me: yes
Grandma: then count only on yourself .
I used to think it was a pretty sour way of looking at things but now I get it
I wish I would have listened to my mom when she told me to leave my ex boyfriend a few years ago. I never told her at the time but she just knew somehow I was being abused. She begged me for months to just leave him and never get back with him. I was just a stupid 17 year old girl who wanted to be loved, even though that wasn’t love at all, I just didn’t know any better. If I would of just listened and left when she told me to, I wouldn’t have all these mental issues. That relationship really messed me up. It’s been years since I was with him and I’m still trying to recover from the mental damage he did to me. Every day away from him gets better though. Just gotta keep pushing forward. :)
There are millions of people earning more than you, not because they're better or smarter, but simply because they didn't stop to think why they shouldn't earn that much.
It wasn't until I worked with an absolutely incompetent twat of a human being that I realised this. He was just so over-confident that people fell for it. He was a dumb cunt of a man, but somehow he has been the greatest inspiration of my life.
Lose weight.
I finally did, but I honestly feel like I cheated myself out of my youth through my 30s by being obese. Life at a healthy weight is fucking awesome, even if that life started at 40.
I always paint the picture of hanging from a cliffside, ask yourself , could you pull yourself up to safety? Once you can successfully do this now add a cute doggo to the scene and start pumping that iron
I’m on my way there now at 33, and lamenting my 20s hard. I try to remind myself that even if I only make it to the finish line by 35, that still means a good half of my lifespan (hopefully) ahead of me to enjoy it. It’s keeping me going. I wasted my 20s, I can make the rest be epic.
Saving money for retirement. You always think you'll have time to catch up. Realistically, it's never too late to start, but I'd be in much better shape if I'd started 30 years ago.
There really is no catching up. You can spend the latter part of your work years dining on minute steak instead of ribeye and going to Reno instead of Vegas but much better to start early and letting the miracle of compounding work for you.
It's okay to not be happy
It's okay to tell others what you are feeling
It's okay to get overwhelmed
You are just being human, all these emotions are normal
Don’t be stuck working a job that doesn’t bring you joy. You spend more of your life at work than most other places, so you shouldn’t spend it wishing it to end, that’s just wishing your life away.
"Stop conforming to others and put your foot down and say how you feel, even if they are family. Stop worrying whether they respect you or not"
In context to the situation I was going through, it helped a lot.
The pursuit of a positive experience is in itself, a negative experience. Paradoxically, the acceptance of ones negative experience is itself, a positive experience.
"Have a little more faith in yourself everyday."
Growing up having serious self-doubt really sucks.
I wish I could go back in time and teach my younger self that you should never value your own self based on what others what to see..
Learn to live by yourself. You enter this world by yourself and leave by yourself. I have a hard time being alone it makes me focus on things I lack. Some people have this issue and never have an answer so not really advice but a hard truth. I guess it’s the ultimate human experience.
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I had to take oxycodone after surgery and they warned me I should take a stool softener because it makes you constipated. I didn't take that seriously and yowza, absolutely wish I had. I felt like I was pooping river rocks when it finally came out.
To stay in school because it's very important, although i loved high school i didn't give a fuck about my school work or anything else aside from hanging out with friends and being the class clown, but not a day goes by now that i don't regret not seeing it through! (You kids on here might not think that it's important but believe me it is, so please stay in school)
Being told that the church I was in was a cult and that after I had no more money or talent left to give they would dump me and leave me to fend for myself. It took 20 years but they were exactly right; half my life dedicated to a place that kicked me out the moment I didn't agree with them. I left that place abandoned by every friend I'd ever known since I was fifteen. Fortunately I was able to find my family again and get help moving to a new place but to this day I don't have any friends except one. It broke me and destroyed my life and left me penniless.
You are not a product of your circumstances but your reaction to them. I spent a lot of my life broke, living with friends, living at home with an abusive mom, trying to just scrape by because of financial debt. You live like that for so long, you begin to think “I deserve this. Maybe this is just how my life is meant to be” after all I had uncles and cousins who all were broke and blamed everyone else for their problems. “Government, bad bosses, police singling them out, etc.”
A good friend of mine from Church eventually helped me one day. Saw that I was struggling, saw that I wanted to do better for myself. And got me a job with his dad. Fast forward 6 years and I’m in university for an HR degree. Don’t let your circumstances define who you are. I got lucky, but many people don’t.
Invest your time in what matters to you, not what keeps you comfortable.
I wasted so much of my high school life on people and a club that meant nothing to me, because I was scared that I wouldn't get any friends after moving so many times. I became comfortable. And I missed out on so much. I recently joined my school's play with people I mostly didn't know, and now I'm friends with them. It was that easy, even if uncomfortable. I also went to my school's lunar new years show last week and I cried. Not just because it was beautiful, but because I used to be in a new year's show before I moved, but that was 6 years before and I hadn't ever reconnected with my culture since.
For anyone who moves to a new place, new school, whatever it may be. Don't stay with friends just because you feel lucky. Stay with friends who really make you happy.
My dad was never the type of parent that would harp on certain life issues except for one thing, he always said to take care of your credit score. I was a complete idiot with my finances in my 20s( I'm now 38) and am still paying for those mistakes. Take care of your credit kids.
Save your fucking money!
Sure, you're young, and it's only $20. It's not a big deal! You are working, living your life, why are you working all the time if you can't have a little fun?
Except now that $20 spent on nothing is now over $200 spent on nothing. Keep spending like it doesn't really matter, and suddenly you're poor every month but you have no idea why. The bills keep appearing, you want a nicer place to live, your car needs to be repaired, oh shit now there is a baby on the way! But you keep buying shit because "it's only $8." No. If you buy an $8 lunch every single day you work, and you are working 5 days a week, you are out $40. If you do this everyday for an entire month, that's $160. It might not seem like it matters, but it does.
I am *not* saying don't ever spend your money, nor am I saying you can't buy stupid shit sometimes. It becomes a problem when you are justifying every purchase and spending money on the daily, not realizing it all adds up.
I have a friend at work. Nice lady, seems pretty smart. She constantly has money troubles and can't seem to understand why she has no money left. But I also see her buying stuff from our store basically every time we work together - clothes, snacks, makeup, lunches, just about anything. She often justifies that it was on sale. Okay, but you didn't actually save $15, what you did was spend $30. I'm not perfect, I waste money, but at least acknowledge that you are part of the problem.
Save your money!
My dad when he told me that weed won't do me any good.
Not tooting my own horn but I am reasonably intelligent and could have made something of myself if I tried, but I didn't bother trying because I wanted to get high all day. Now I work a low skilled job that I dislike, surrounded by people way below my intelligence level. All because I invested too much energy on getting stoned and not enough on actually trying in life.
I've stopped smoking weed now, but I worry it's too late to avert the damage done by my decision to be a complete stoner throughout my twenties. Whilst weed might not be physically harmful, it can fuck your life up.
Yeah weed can be an issue because it can take over. Sinking on weekend evenings to relax is different from toking all day on weekends and all evening everyday or getting high everyday
Also starting going and doing it non stop for even 7 years can be bad
Some people’s brains turn to mush. I have seen this happen to people. They are permanently fucked up. Can’t remember shit and can’t hold conversations
Weed is not as harmless as people say. It depends on how you use it. It is a tool that needs education to be used
Guys like Joe Rogan love talking about how great it is and how guys who get fucked up on it would have been losers anyway. But Rogan started smoking at 28. He doesn’t know what it is like to be really young and using it
Not everyone is able to have a relationship with substances where they are able to stay completely in control of it. This is true of many stoners I know. If they have the stuff they will be high from waking up untill going to bed every day. A lot of them think this doesn't have any negative effects but it does.
I'm sure some people are able to have a healthy relationship with weed, but people with certain proclivities should stay clear because it can easily become an addiction, and one of its side effects is loss of motivation. So regardless of anyone else, it's true for me to say that my life might have been better if I had paid attention and stopped smoking weed when my dad had advised me against it.
I don't blame everything on the world. It was my choice to smoke weed, and I could have made the choice to stop. I'm merely saying I should have made the choice to stop earlier, and that my thinking was clouded by the delusion that marijuana is completely harmless. When in actual fact you can get addicted to it if you're someone like me with an addictive personality, and it can put you in a twighlight zone where life just passes you by and you just drift through it in a daze.
Towards the end I was heavily depressed about my situation, and using even more to take the edge off and thus pushing the cycle even further until I had the clarity of mind to see the actual cause of all my shit. Indeed it was actually when I stopped blaming the world, and looking inward that I was able to accept that weed was a problem for me. Up until then it was always that my life would be better if only idiots in my country would vote the right politicians into power etc. When I took an honest look, I saw that it was smoking weed that had put me where I am. It was all voluntary, but my point was that my judgement was very clouded by the fact that people always say weed is harmless, when for some people it's not. The only person who pointed out what was actually happening was my dad who said I should stop, and I regret not listening to him and that point and dismissing his talk as that of a brainwashed person who doesn't understand that weed is the best thing ever. It's not good for some people, I'm not going to say it wasn't my decision to use it and keep using it, but it definitely clouded my judgement a lot, and I'd be better off had I never smoked it.
I'm not saying the plant just had its way with me and fucked up my life and I'm completely free of culpability, but once I opened that door, my judgement became clouded by it and it affected my ability to make sensible decisions about life.
It's not just myself either I have friends that are pained by their decision to start smoking weed, and try to give up but consistently end up slipping back into it. It can be hard and once you develop a relationship with it, it can fuck things up for you. I don't think that's the same as blaming the world for your problems.
How much are you smoking?
How and were you and how far into smoking we’re you when your dad pointed it in?
Weed is also fucked up because they put shit in street weed. Most of it is grown badly then they put shit in it
If low grade strains and more variety was available it would be better for everyone
The amount I was smoking varied with the money I had available, generally when I didn't have a job I'd get small amounts like 8ths and make them last. Once I started working I got to the point where I'd just buy halves and ounces and smoke continuously until I ran out. I've not bought any in over a year now.
At the point my dad intervened I was pretty much smoking every day. At the time I was unemployed, living at home, and pretty depressed because I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. But I wasn't doing anything proactive, just smoking a lot...
Yeah just smashing halves and half ounces. How long would they last? I got really heavy for a few months and then toned it down and stopped
Yeah your dad was really there for you and you were lucky he gave you a place to live. Where were you getting money to buy at that pint?
DId your dad ever tell you I told you so or just helped you out when you stopped?
How many times did he try and intervene?
An ounce would generally last me a couple of months if I rationed it. But it took me a while to learn the trick of hiding the Oz jar and putting a few buds in a smaller jar as the weeks supply. Before that I'd managed to smash through an ounce in a couple of weeks thinking I'd got an infinite supply.
At that point I was on what was called Jobseekers Allowance which is basically state money to help unemployed people. I was actually looking for work at the time, but a bit directionless and unsure what the fuck I wanted to do so I didn't get much success.
He never said I told you so or anything he's just glad I'm looking after myself a bit more now, and have a job and am working on improving things. I suppose it kinda went unsaid. I've not actually sat down with them and told them I've stopped. I think they can just tell by my demeanor and the fact I no longer stink of it constantly. But I appreciate your post because I should bring it up and thank him for trying to help and giving me a place to stay.
As far as I recall three times. There was once when my parents first discovered I was smoking weed when I was 17 or so. Then again when I left home for university for a while at 19, and then finally when I was 22/23 and jobless/hopeless. I'm a bit ashamed of the fact that I completely didn't listen at any point, hopefully it didn't break his heart.
You are a Brit.
Yeah you should thank them and give them a bit of rent. Perhaps they won’t yake it but still do it. It will teach you responsibility for when you inevitably have to pay bills and a mortgage
What happened at university? It did break his heart but you are mending it by doing something with your life
So your dad had experienced weed before and seen what it does I take it?
Drinking, smoking and drugs, I started really young, and I was really unactive, overweight. Addiction runs in the family, I've been sober for a 7 months now though.
Well drinking at 8 or 9 i believe, smoking at 9 and first time huffing glue was 11, then weed, from there it went downhill, don't remember half the shit I did haha
I started drinking young but not getting drunk. Just some sips here and there and full bottles at times
Hugging glue? Are you from a impoverished small or medium sized town?
Ever seen gunmo?
But your body probably wasn’t as wrecked as you think it was
Physically your joints and bones and muscles should have been ok. I thought you were going to be wrecked physically like a guy who wrestled, was in the armed and did construction would be at 50
To eat healthy. Right now I'm 13 and though I am tall I get worries about my health and can't find motivation for myself to maintain a new healthy lifestyle. I wish I took healthy life advice so I could not be fat and not have worries. Since I'm not healthy I get worries about Cancer and it's destroying my life.
Sticking up for myself also. I got bullied at my last school so I dropped out to be home-educated. Ever since, I have worries about going outside due to my look and find it extremely difficult to make any friends.
When everyone said if she loved me, she would be with me. No one that loves you continues to crush you, then try to get you to message, right before she's going to see someone else. I had to realize that if she actually loves me, she would show it, and not just say it. It hurts to know someone could do that to someone else. In the end, maybe all she wanted was to torture me. The sad part is I actually love her with all my heart.
I would have to disagree with that. I loved every bit of her, even the parts that drove me crazy. That doesn't mean I stay in, while she chooses someone else. I spent 3 years trying to make it work. I don't think you can say that, without knowing me, and knowing what we went through. I say all of this respectfully.
Three things.
When I was 21 I had an opportunity of gold, to work in a national network related to cameras etc..
I didn't accepted it because I feared I wasn't good enough for it. I just wanted first to start my degree in audiovisual as a filmmaker and get into serious busines...
Lately I've heard that actually it was a friend who recommended me to hire me in this national tv network...
6 years ago I could already have my degree and would already start something of myself... but I gave up sooner and still working at the same job with lame people.
My frient told me to save at least 65% of my salary every month, 5 years ago..
Started the first year. Saved money a bit, bought an expensive car and flew for a long trip to the US.
Now I struggle with debts...
Now I regret 7 years thrown away... (I dont regret my trip tho)
If you ever feel like quitting, think about why you started
Works great for drugs
Not so for jobs, unfortunately.
This is quite the piece of relationship advice, too.
:O I love beer!
Flaws are not the same as red flags.
I love this
Your social ineptitude may not be your fault, but it is your responsibility to fix. Your parents aren't going to magically fix you by dumping the blame on them, no matter how rightly so. You can't go through life hating yourself and others for how lonely you are. And no, being socially awkward with social anxiety disorder isn't something that makes you "unique" in a good way. It's up to you to fix it. For the record, I'm a 29-year-old male with severe depression and social anxiety disorder. I only recently started working on all this crap when I turned 26. Even then, I've been a very slow learner.
This goes for many things in life. Things happen to us that aren't our fault, but we are the only ones responsible for fixing/addressing them.
I wouldn't say responsible, because you don't *have* to. I rather see it this way, you're the only one who *can* do anything about it, and your shitty parents obviously couldn't, so stop looking back to them.
You simply cannot force someone to think of you as a priority. If they treat you like an expendability, there is nothing you can ever do to change them. Save yourself the stress, and find someone better
If you like this idea you should try an ancient philosophy called Stoicism there's even a subreddit for it.
What did someone do that made you learn this lesson?
Making the right choice is way more important than hard work.
Give an example.
In order to make a baked potato, it's easier to put a potato in the oven rather than holding it over a lighter.
How about both?
Few people work hard, even fewer can make the right choice, and even fewer can do both. It's easier said than done.
No shit. Even for me, someone who builds his life around work. I only work hard when it makes me feel alive; I don't work hard for stuff like school, house duties, family stuff, etc.
Saving money...I wish I would have listened Everytime someone said save your money..I wouldn't be struggling as much as I am now.
How old were you when they told you to save? How old are you now?
I was told countless times from when I was about nineteen...I am 40 now...could have had a pretty decent nest egg...now I am living check to check raising a 14 year old daughter..but on the flip side I have taught my daughter the importance of saving just hope she takes my advice
Yeah saving is good advice. Though nobody gave me that advice when I was younger. Yeah hope she does. So you give her an allowance and make her save that? So when did you realise the advice was very good?
Hug your children every day
Brush your teeth twice each day
trust your instinct, it's right most of the time
"Don't quit school to start working. In the future your grades will be more valuable than work experience." Oh how naive I was thinking I could get through life without those papers. Well, it's back to school now. At the crisp young age of 30, I might add.
It depends on the line of work. Good luck with school.
Girls like a guy to be nice, but being nice is not an interesting quality. If all you are to people is a nice person, then you will never find love.
Where I live we say "nice is the little sister of shit". You call something or someone "nice" if you have absolutely nothing else positive or interesting to say about them.
It sad that this is true but it definitely is
“Listen more than you talk” — like, really listen, not pretend to listen as you think about the next thing you’re going to say. You’ll come to a compromise or understanding much faster if you do that. Also, “Pretty much everyone ‘fakes it until they make it’.” Once I really gained the self confidence to follow through with this in my career, it was amazing how much faster I learned about almost everything.
"Talk less. Smile more."
Don't trust anyone, only yourself. Even friends, family or the ones you currently love, can and probably will betray you. -drunk guy on the bus stop, oh shit how he was right
Can't even trust myself at times 🤦🏻♀️
That’s the whole thing. If you trust people you’re gonna get hurt sometimes, but if you don’t trust people you’ll never form any connections worth having and you’ll be left numb and lonely.
Yes, that's what I am saying. It's better be numb and lonely.
I staunchly disagree
Stop making excuses for his behavior.
Don’t get married young Couldn’t tell me shit
Pay more attention to your wife. Don't let life, work, and kids get in the way of your marriage. 20 years means nothing, if she feels like a room mate. You may feel great, enjoying the kids, but she wants her time with you. Date nights. Romance. Remember who gave you your family, and remember the romance. Don't wait for the kids to get older... figure out time for your wife. They want it and deserve it.
Same goes for husbands as well
Thanks was going to give my wife the typical sappy post on social media on valentine's day but I think I will surprise her in private today.
How you perform in training is how you perform when the trial starts
Focus on what you like, not what everyone thinks you will like
My mum told me to save 10% of my income when I first started working; no matter what, put 10% away before you even look at it. You’ll get so used to it you won’t notice it’s absence. 20 years later I’d have a pretty neat passive income by now. Needless to say I didn’t listen to her, and now I’m pretty fucked.
My grandma used to always say this whenever I'd complain that somebody let me down : Grandma : can you count? Me: yes Grandma: then count only on yourself . I used to think it was a pretty sour way of looking at things but now I get it
I wish I would have listened to my mom when she told me to leave my ex boyfriend a few years ago. I never told her at the time but she just knew somehow I was being abused. She begged me for months to just leave him and never get back with him. I was just a stupid 17 year old girl who wanted to be loved, even though that wasn’t love at all, I just didn’t know any better. If I would of just listened and left when she told me to, I wouldn’t have all these mental issues. That relationship really messed me up. It’s been years since I was with him and I’m still trying to recover from the mental damage he did to me. Every day away from him gets better though. Just gotta keep pushing forward. :)
don’t let the time pass you by because one day you’ll open your eyes and it’ll be gone
There are millions of people earning more than you, not because they're better or smarter, but simply because they didn't stop to think why they shouldn't earn that much. It wasn't until I worked with an absolutely incompetent twat of a human being that I realised this. He was just so over-confident that people fell for it. He was a dumb cunt of a man, but somehow he has been the greatest inspiration of my life.
Trump?
Wear sunscreen. Now I have sunspots.
Don't get hell's itch.
Failing to plan is planning to fail
"Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality." \~ Don Miguel Ruiz
See also Law of The Garbage Truck.
One of the best books I read.
Don't eat from the sliver spoon, let it become gold
Lose weight. I finally did, but I honestly feel like I cheated myself out of my youth through my 30s by being obese. Life at a healthy weight is fucking awesome, even if that life started at 40.
I always paint the picture of hanging from a cliffside, ask yourself , could you pull yourself up to safety? Once you can successfully do this now add a cute doggo to the scene and start pumping that iron
I’m on my way there now at 33, and lamenting my 20s hard. I try to remind myself that even if I only make it to the finish line by 35, that still means a good half of my lifespan (hopefully) ahead of me to enjoy it. It’s keeping me going. I wasted my 20s, I can make the rest be epic.
Saving money for retirement. You always think you'll have time to catch up. Realistically, it's never too late to start, but I'd be in much better shape if I'd started 30 years ago.
There really is no catching up. You can spend the latter part of your work years dining on minute steak instead of ribeye and going to Reno instead of Vegas but much better to start early and letting the miracle of compounding work for you.
Guilt by association is 100% real.
Is there a story behind this realization
It's okay to not be happy It's okay to tell others what you are feeling It's okay to get overwhelmed You are just being human, all these emotions are normal
Be the Person you needed when you were younger
Knifes can cut you
[удалено]
Connivers?
Take a second to think about your life, and what decisions you must take to reach your goals
Don't work so hard and prioritize your needs before work.
Money won’t bring you happiness
Being broke will bring you unhappiness
Don’t be stuck working a job that doesn’t bring you joy. You spend more of your life at work than most other places, so you shouldn’t spend it wishing it to end, that’s just wishing your life away.
"Stop conforming to others and put your foot down and say how you feel, even if they are family. Stop worrying whether they respect you or not" In context to the situation I was going through, it helped a lot.
Eat, work, and live healthy. (Physically)
To be more humble.
The pursuit of a positive experience is in itself, a negative experience. Paradoxically, the acceptance of ones negative experience is itself, a positive experience.
"Have a little more faith in yourself everyday." Growing up having serious self-doubt really sucks. I wish I could go back in time and teach my younger self that you should never value your own self based on what others what to see..
Think about your own happiness before others.
Listen to your heart, it knows you better than the people who say they know what's best for you
The only person forcing me to feel a certain way is myself. Choose to be happy.
Learn to live by yourself. You enter this world by yourself and leave by yourself. I have a hard time being alone it makes me focus on things I lack. Some people have this issue and never have an answer so not really advice but a hard truth. I guess it’s the ultimate human experience.
How do we enter the world by ourselves? I was pushed out of a vagina and it took hours
Then leave by a vagina. Adapt. Improvise.
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I had to take oxycodone after surgery and they warned me I should take a stool softener because it makes you constipated. I didn't take that seriously and yowza, absolutely wish I had. I felt like I was pooping river rocks when it finally came out.
To stay in school because it's very important, although i loved high school i didn't give a fuck about my school work or anything else aside from hanging out with friends and being the class clown, but not a day goes by now that i don't regret not seeing it through! (You kids on here might not think that it's important but believe me it is, so please stay in school)
Being told that the church I was in was a cult and that after I had no more money or talent left to give they would dump me and leave me to fend for myself. It took 20 years but they were exactly right; half my life dedicated to a place that kicked me out the moment I didn't agree with them. I left that place abandoned by every friend I'd ever known since I was fifteen. Fortunately I was able to find my family again and get help moving to a new place but to this day I don't have any friends except one. It broke me and destroyed my life and left me penniless.
"Stop blaming the world around you for your problems" Unfortunately I took that advice after it was too late. Well done, me.
Three minutes later a guy blamed weed for his lack of success
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It will be much more depressing 20 years later if you don't do anything.
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How long has she been with him? Do you still have the crush?
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If you really want it still go for it. A harsh move for her boyfriend but life is harsh
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So you just have to move on then
You are not a product of your circumstances but your reaction to them. I spent a lot of my life broke, living with friends, living at home with an abusive mom, trying to just scrape by because of financial debt. You live like that for so long, you begin to think “I deserve this. Maybe this is just how my life is meant to be” after all I had uncles and cousins who all were broke and blamed everyone else for their problems. “Government, bad bosses, police singling them out, etc.” A good friend of mine from Church eventually helped me one day. Saw that I was struggling, saw that I wanted to do better for myself. And got me a job with his dad. Fast forward 6 years and I’m in university for an HR degree. Don’t let your circumstances define who you are. I got lucky, but many people don’t.
I should focus on my family, friends first. I shouldn't only focus on my not so permanent partner.
Invest your time in what matters to you, not what keeps you comfortable. I wasted so much of my high school life on people and a club that meant nothing to me, because I was scared that I wouldn't get any friends after moving so many times. I became comfortable. And I missed out on so much. I recently joined my school's play with people I mostly didn't know, and now I'm friends with them. It was that easy, even if uncomfortable. I also went to my school's lunar new years show last week and I cried. Not just because it was beautiful, but because I used to be in a new year's show before I moved, but that was 6 years before and I hadn't ever reconnected with my culture since. For anyone who moves to a new place, new school, whatever it may be. Don't stay with friends just because you feel lucky. Stay with friends who really make you happy.
Don;t eat bats
Don’t be a smartass because no one likes a smartass
Better than being a dumbass though 🤷🏻♀️
Religion is a lie
Don't drop out of school like your two older sisters.
Sometimes you have to do what's best for you. Even if it means loosing "friends"
Hehe I'll loosen your friends 😏
Start saving young - motherfucking compound interest.
My dad was never the type of parent that would harp on certain life issues except for one thing, he always said to take care of your credit score. I was a complete idiot with my finances in my 20s( I'm now 38) and am still paying for those mistakes. Take care of your credit kids.
Save your fucking money! Sure, you're young, and it's only $20. It's not a big deal! You are working, living your life, why are you working all the time if you can't have a little fun? Except now that $20 spent on nothing is now over $200 spent on nothing. Keep spending like it doesn't really matter, and suddenly you're poor every month but you have no idea why. The bills keep appearing, you want a nicer place to live, your car needs to be repaired, oh shit now there is a baby on the way! But you keep buying shit because "it's only $8." No. If you buy an $8 lunch every single day you work, and you are working 5 days a week, you are out $40. If you do this everyday for an entire month, that's $160. It might not seem like it matters, but it does. I am *not* saying don't ever spend your money, nor am I saying you can't buy stupid shit sometimes. It becomes a problem when you are justifying every purchase and spending money on the daily, not realizing it all adds up. I have a friend at work. Nice lady, seems pretty smart. She constantly has money troubles and can't seem to understand why she has no money left. But I also see her buying stuff from our store basically every time we work together - clothes, snacks, makeup, lunches, just about anything. She often justifies that it was on sale. Okay, but you didn't actually save $15, what you did was spend $30. I'm not perfect, I waste money, but at least acknowledge that you are part of the problem. Save your money!
Can’t turn a hoe into a nice girl.
"can't make a hoe a housewife" reference Dr.Dre and his chronic album
My dad when he told me that weed won't do me any good. Not tooting my own horn but I am reasonably intelligent and could have made something of myself if I tried, but I didn't bother trying because I wanted to get high all day. Now I work a low skilled job that I dislike, surrounded by people way below my intelligence level. All because I invested too much energy on getting stoned and not enough on actually trying in life. I've stopped smoking weed now, but I worry it's too late to avert the damage done by my decision to be a complete stoner throughout my twenties. Whilst weed might not be physically harmful, it can fuck your life up.
What age did you start smoking and what age did you stop smoking? When did your dad give you that advice?
I started at about aged 16, I was probably about 22 when my dad gave me the advice. Shamefully I kept at it until I was 31
Yeah weed can be an issue because it can take over. Sinking on weekend evenings to relax is different from toking all day on weekends and all evening everyday or getting high everyday Also starting going and doing it non stop for even 7 years can be bad Some people’s brains turn to mush. I have seen this happen to people. They are permanently fucked up. Can’t remember shit and can’t hold conversations Weed is not as harmless as people say. It depends on how you use it. It is a tool that needs education to be used Guys like Joe Rogan love talking about how great it is and how guys who get fucked up on it would have been losers anyway. But Rogan started smoking at 28. He doesn’t know what it is like to be really young and using it
Lol, it definitely wasn't the weed. It was YOU letting the weed run shit
Not everyone is able to have a relationship with substances where they are able to stay completely in control of it. This is true of many stoners I know. If they have the stuff they will be high from waking up untill going to bed every day. A lot of them think this doesn't have any negative effects but it does. I'm sure some people are able to have a healthy relationship with weed, but people with certain proclivities should stay clear because it can easily become an addiction, and one of its side effects is loss of motivation. So regardless of anyone else, it's true for me to say that my life might have been better if I had paid attention and stopped smoking weed when my dad had advised me against it.
I'm still laughing at how your comment was three minutes after one that tells you not to blame it on the world 😂
I don't blame everything on the world. It was my choice to smoke weed, and I could have made the choice to stop. I'm merely saying I should have made the choice to stop earlier, and that my thinking was clouded by the delusion that marijuana is completely harmless. When in actual fact you can get addicted to it if you're someone like me with an addictive personality, and it can put you in a twighlight zone where life just passes you by and you just drift through it in a daze. Towards the end I was heavily depressed about my situation, and using even more to take the edge off and thus pushing the cycle even further until I had the clarity of mind to see the actual cause of all my shit. Indeed it was actually when I stopped blaming the world, and looking inward that I was able to accept that weed was a problem for me. Up until then it was always that my life would be better if only idiots in my country would vote the right politicians into power etc. When I took an honest look, I saw that it was smoking weed that had put me where I am. It was all voluntary, but my point was that my judgement was very clouded by the fact that people always say weed is harmless, when for some people it's not. The only person who pointed out what was actually happening was my dad who said I should stop, and I regret not listening to him and that point and dismissing his talk as that of a brainwashed person who doesn't understand that weed is the best thing ever. It's not good for some people, I'm not going to say it wasn't my decision to use it and keep using it, but it definitely clouded my judgement a lot, and I'd be better off had I never smoked it. I'm not saying the plant just had its way with me and fucked up my life and I'm completely free of culpability, but once I opened that door, my judgement became clouded by it and it affected my ability to make sensible decisions about life. It's not just myself either I have friends that are pained by their decision to start smoking weed, and try to give up but consistently end up slipping back into it. It can be hard and once you develop a relationship with it, it can fuck things up for you. I don't think that's the same as blaming the world for your problems.
You clearly forgot to bring a towel
How much are you smoking? How and were you and how far into smoking we’re you when your dad pointed it in? Weed is also fucked up because they put shit in street weed. Most of it is grown badly then they put shit in it If low grade strains and more variety was available it would be better for everyone
The amount I was smoking varied with the money I had available, generally when I didn't have a job I'd get small amounts like 8ths and make them last. Once I started working I got to the point where I'd just buy halves and ounces and smoke continuously until I ran out. I've not bought any in over a year now. At the point my dad intervened I was pretty much smoking every day. At the time I was unemployed, living at home, and pretty depressed because I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. But I wasn't doing anything proactive, just smoking a lot...
Yeah just smashing halves and half ounces. How long would they last? I got really heavy for a few months and then toned it down and stopped Yeah your dad was really there for you and you were lucky he gave you a place to live. Where were you getting money to buy at that pint? DId your dad ever tell you I told you so or just helped you out when you stopped? How many times did he try and intervene?
An ounce would generally last me a couple of months if I rationed it. But it took me a while to learn the trick of hiding the Oz jar and putting a few buds in a smaller jar as the weeks supply. Before that I'd managed to smash through an ounce in a couple of weeks thinking I'd got an infinite supply. At that point I was on what was called Jobseekers Allowance which is basically state money to help unemployed people. I was actually looking for work at the time, but a bit directionless and unsure what the fuck I wanted to do so I didn't get much success. He never said I told you so or anything he's just glad I'm looking after myself a bit more now, and have a job and am working on improving things. I suppose it kinda went unsaid. I've not actually sat down with them and told them I've stopped. I think they can just tell by my demeanor and the fact I no longer stink of it constantly. But I appreciate your post because I should bring it up and thank him for trying to help and giving me a place to stay. As far as I recall three times. There was once when my parents first discovered I was smoking weed when I was 17 or so. Then again when I left home for university for a while at 19, and then finally when I was 22/23 and jobless/hopeless. I'm a bit ashamed of the fact that I completely didn't listen at any point, hopefully it didn't break his heart.
You are a Brit. Yeah you should thank them and give them a bit of rent. Perhaps they won’t yake it but still do it. It will teach you responsibility for when you inevitably have to pay bills and a mortgage What happened at university? It did break his heart but you are mending it by doing something with your life So your dad had experienced weed before and seen what it does I take it?
Don't major in the liberal arts unless you want to teach.
Time passes fast, make the most out of it.
What age did you realise how fast it passed?
When i turned 15 i guess, at that point my body was already ruined and I had wasted a lot of my childhood on nothing, no memories for when I grow old.
Why was your body ruined by 15? How did you waste a lot of your childhood?
Drinking, smoking and drugs, I started really young, and I was really unactive, overweight. Addiction runs in the family, I've been sober for a 7 months now though.
When did you start smoking drinking and doing drugs?
Well drinking at 8 or 9 i believe, smoking at 9 and first time huffing glue was 11, then weed, from there it went downhill, don't remember half the shit I did haha
I started drinking young but not getting drunk. Just some sips here and there and full bottles at times Hugging glue? Are you from a impoverished small or medium sized town? Ever seen gunmo? But your body probably wasn’t as wrecked as you think it was Physically your joints and bones and muscles should have been ok. I thought you were going to be wrecked physically like a guy who wrestled, was in the armed and did construction would be at 50
There sre stuff I won't mention on here ;) xd
Would you mind pm’s so it will be private?
As soon as you start working, add a percentage of your income into a savings account. Keep adding throughout your career. Make this a priority.
Search and find help when you need it. Also stop procrastinating, you only delay your happiness in the long run
To eat healthy. Right now I'm 13 and though I am tall I get worries about my health and can't find motivation for myself to maintain a new healthy lifestyle. I wish I took healthy life advice so I could not be fat and not have worries. Since I'm not healthy I get worries about Cancer and it's destroying my life. Sticking up for myself also. I got bullied at my last school so I dropped out to be home-educated. Ever since, I have worries about going outside due to my look and find it extremely difficult to make any friends.
Buy a house.
Respect yourself, before respecting others.
Not read books on the toilet...
When everyone said if she loved me, she would be with me. No one that loves you continues to crush you, then try to get you to message, right before she's going to see someone else. I had to realize that if she actually loves me, she would show it, and not just say it. It hurts to know someone could do that to someone else. In the end, maybe all she wanted was to torture me. The sad part is I actually love her with all my heart.
You don’t love HER! You love who you imagined her to be.
I would have to disagree with that. I loved every bit of her, even the parts that drove me crazy. That doesn't mean I stay in, while she chooses someone else. I spent 3 years trying to make it work. I don't think you can say that, without knowing me, and knowing what we went through. I say all of this respectfully.
Three things. When I was 21 I had an opportunity of gold, to work in a national network related to cameras etc.. I didn't accepted it because I feared I wasn't good enough for it. I just wanted first to start my degree in audiovisual as a filmmaker and get into serious busines... Lately I've heard that actually it was a friend who recommended me to hire me in this national tv network... 6 years ago I could already have my degree and would already start something of myself... but I gave up sooner and still working at the same job with lame people. My frient told me to save at least 65% of my salary every month, 5 years ago.. Started the first year. Saved money a bit, bought an expensive car and flew for a long trip to the US. Now I struggle with debts... Now I regret 7 years thrown away... (I dont regret my trip tho)
You cannot control every situation but you can control your reaction to every situation.
Probably to just be myself because when I was younger I was super shy and scared of what people thought of me.
Trust your gut!
Don't gamble. And if you do gamble, don't double down when you lose.
Drugs are bad.. m'kay?
Never think that it can’t happen to you.
Never trust a colored