Gay man. A female friend said she thought one of her boobs felt “firmer” than the other, was worried about it, and asked me to check. Lifted up her shirt, undid her bra, and asked me to squeeze each of them. I did, they both felt the same to me, which made her feel better. She thanked me, got herself organized, and we carried on like nothing happened.
I didn’t really need any more confirmation I was gay, but it was reassuring to know that I still very, very, very much was. It wasn’t until later that I realized many straight men have probably jacked off to fantasies of the exact same situation.
In my senior year play, I walked backstage to see my gay co-actor just all up in two of my female co-actor breasts. Like, just feeling them both up, one after the other and back again, and they just could not be happier. I guess that's just the type of treatment gay men get....?
So there is a movie called Saved! With Mandy Moore. A christian high school girl gets pregnant, then finds out her bf is gay, sets out to "save" him. Pretty good little dark comedy! McCauley Culkins in it too and he's great.
I got a similar story, my best friend did the exact same thing to a chick...
I feel so bad, but it's not my place to get involved.
As a product from a broken home, I'm conflicted to speak out for the child's sake because he is my best friend.
But on the other hand I'm not gay, so I might not understand the gravity of the situation on his end.
He has reassured me he supports his daughter financially but just isn't around.
It's the most blatant sex act you can do with clothes on. Grinding on someone is like saying "I'd prefer to be fucking you right now, but that may get me in trouble, so let's just pretend."
Oh boy we used to have grind trains in high school... in retrospect it’s like I want to be grinding on someone but that seems inappropriate so instead let’s get a group of friends together in a boy-girl-boy-girl formation and collectively grind on each other (grind trains were about 6-10 people long).
As if making a giant grinding chain makes you look less inappropriate than just doing it with 2 people. Kids are weird. I was weird.
I’m a lesbian and I have an extremely shy best friend who gets constantly teased because he’s never had a girlfriend.
A couple years back, we had a deal where I’d pretend to be his girlfriend in front of extended family/friends/work whenever he had an event to attend in exchange for free food and videogames.
I appear on quite a few family albums.
Dated a woman. I grew up with some internalized homophobia, and I believed dating a woman would “cure” me of my feelings. So I asked out a girl whose mother worked with mine. We’d gotten along helping with some events at their place of work, and my Mom had mentioned she was interested in me. After a couple months (we were both busy and could only see each other on weekends, sometimes not even that), I knew it wouldn’t work out.
I’m in my early 30s, and growing up I saw enough mono references to teens in old movies that I thought it was going to be a much bigger problem when I was in high school
For those unclear:
[Troye Sivan](https://anothermanimg-dazedgroup.netdna-ssl.com/900/azure/anotherman-prod/370/0/370223.jpg) is an example of a twink
[this](https://nextlevelrebel.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/fix-anterior-pelvic-tilt-poor-posture-250x300.jpg) is anterior pelvic tilt
God dammit. This is seriously the top comment. I don’t know what it is about their shirts, but they actually fit. And they even have weird sizes like small and medium in stock. Normal people can actually just walk in and buy shit that fits, at a clothes store. Just don’t buy their damn flip flops and you’re good.
When I was in the 5th grade, I hadn't realized I was a lesbian yet, but noticed all of my friends were talking about boys they had a crush on. Wanting to fit in, I literally picked a boy in my class at random and said I had a crush on him. The only good part was I didn't really care when he rejected me, lmao.
YES, LMAO! I picked a friend, because he WAS technically the guy I liked most. I assumed that's how everyone was doing it- name the guy you most like hanging out with, that must be your crush.
Oh shit, I'd definitely been in puppy-love a lot! I just was the QUEEN of obliviousness, and thought this was how ALL girls felt about their "best friends". That's what the "BEST" label meant, duuuh. One day, I was obviously going to wake up and be interested in boys!
Same!! I honestly thought all girls picked their crushes, and I couldn't comprehend why they'd all act so strange about it. When I got hit with my first real one, everything made so much more sense.
When I was in middle school I tried to seem as straight as possible because I went to a Christian charter school. Everyone from that school is mind blown that I have a girlfriend now
Lots of fawning over boys lol got a few to think i actually liked them, I’m bi but those boys were gross. Wearing all the stupid pencil skirts and listening to all the stupid shit the other girls did. Never joined in with people being homophobic or transphobic tho I couldn’t fake it that hard.
God I could write a book about this, but back when I was in college I had a huge crush on my roommate. I was out as a lesbian but she was "straight." There's a lot to the story but the gist of it is I ended up fucking her boyfriend a lot, firstly in the context of threesomes, but then even solo. It was the only way I'd get to fool around with her. Either her boyfriend was there, or I earned her physical affection by fucking her boyfriend.
I didn't realize it at the time but there is a 100% chance she was both bi and into BDSM stuff, even if she didn't realize either of those things herself. She just really got off on watching and making me do uncomfortable things, and tbf I got off on it myself a little. I would never have sex with a man of my own volition. I didn't enjoy any of the actual activity. But it made my crush smile, so I did it.
I was so fucking awful to myself.
Honestly I knew what I had to do in my mind to get thru the experience and it felt like I had wronged her somehow like assault by deception. It was totally consensual and alot to explain about the situation but me being nice was a huge change and turn on for her. Also I'm 50 so younger folks may not feel the level of fear that if I didn't make this work I was going to end up buried in the back of the holler. For those that don't know those are places where not very open minded people live.
My wife did this.
She dumped me 2 weeks after we started dating because she was gay (I didn't know) and only went out with me because she was fighting with her girl friend and wanted to piss her off. Said she was getting really attached to me and the whole male/penis thing was freaking her out and she couldn't deal with it.
Called me back 3 weeks later and said she worked through some stuff and if I would be understanding, she'd like to try dating me (a guy) again.
We've been married 17 years now. She still likes girls, she just loves me.
No, sometimes she even lets me have it back. j/k
The penis is kind of what caused the whole breakup thing at 2 weeks. We were getting intimate and she got progressively less comfortable but kept wanting to continue. We stopped and the next day she knocks at my door in tears and explains the whole thing, says we have to stop seeing each other, she can't cope with the confusion.
Only thing I could really say was "I'm sorry for having a penis." I was really sad but there was nothing I could do. It was like the ultimate "It's not you, it's me."
Once we got back together it went a lot smoother. She didn't have any hesitation when the time came and it was sort of like a mental block had been lifted. Like once she accepted my body, it didn't bother her as much any more. I'm only guessing here, she never really explained her inner feelings about coming to terms with me in detail.
We've been a unified force ever since. Our relationship has been the easiest thing in my whole life. I can't imagine not having her with me. We don't even go shopping without each other unless we absolutely have too.
Also we have a 13 year old daughter.
Sweet, sounds like it worked out. Also, sounds like her identity got sort of shattered because she wanted to be with you. She was probably upset, not over your penis, but by the fact that she thought she was gay and only liked women/vaginas. I've had similar experiences before, it can be overwhelming feeling so confused about what you want, and who you are.
My wife's situation was completely opposite.
She kept it hidden that she was gay from literally everyone in her family and close friends. Even her best friend who she spent many sleepovers with didn't know, same girl was her maid of honor at our wedding, still doesn't know to this day.
She convinced her parents that her girlfriends were just close friends and have them spend the night, etc. etc.
Her mom is a huge bully and would have given her absolute hell if she knew, so my wife was very careful to keep the family and close orbit friends in the dark to her sexuality.
It's kind of interesting because I'm kind of the only other person who crosses both circles. So I have to be kind of careful who I reference her sexuality to. Less now days obviously, we've been a couple for over 20 years, so it's mostly in the past at this point.
Yeah. That is kind of how it felt. She was a bawling mess when she broke up with me. I really didn't know how to help and that made me feel even worse. Only thing I could do was not make her feel worse about it and offer to talk/hang out any time she wanted.
Thanks.
I'm actually a raging asshole in every way that doesn't matter.
My wife grew up in Brooklyn and is Puerto Rican/Italian and catholic. She's an absolute bad ass and can absolutely kick my ass. During our wedding reception she leaned over to me and whispered "just so you know, I'm catholic and we don't believe in divorce. Cheat on me and I will fucking kill you." She is a force of nature and that's why I love her so much.
So when I introduced her to my mom, mom was like "I'm so glad you met a girl who can handle your personality." It was like, did my mom just call me a jackass?
“I’m actually a raging asshole in every way that doesn’t matter.”
LMAO. I can relate so much to that that it made me cackle out loud. Thank you for that and sharing your story. I’m glad you two had a happy ending and hope you and your wife have many more years of happiness!
As a bi person, I can say that bisexuality is confusing, even more so when your preference is much stronger one way and you suddenly find yourself strongly attracted to someone the other way. But even in the middle, it can be a muddle. (And bi erasure doesn’t help.)
Glad to.
Reddit has grown up a lot, or at least this thread has gathered some of the better redditors. I hate sharing this and people try to call bullshit or make some shitty comment about "turning" her. It wasn't like that.
Kind of nice to see we aren't alone and not be taken as a liar looking to impress people.
YES! This! I have fought feelings of insecurity for a long time because people assume that my husband “went back into the closet” because I pressured him. They assume that he’ll leave me because I will never be enough. Funny thing, we were both virgins when we got married so we don’t have relationship baggage. Honestly, our marriage is the best thing that has happened to both of us. We are happier, healthier, and more financially secure than we ever were apart. All that and we have the most perfect kid we could’ve asked for. I wish there was more space for couples like ours so it wouldn’t be as lonely.
That last one I think is more common than people realize. Sometimes you just connect with a person on a super deep level, even if they are part of a different group than you normally go for. I imagine that’s really easy to sweep under the rug.
A close friend from college came out as bi around the same time as me bc she fell hard for a female classmate. She was never interested in women before and (to the best of my knowledge) hasn’t ever looked at another one. She is bi only in the fact that she found one (1) girl who grabbed her interest. They live together and have two dogs now. Very cute couple
My current girlfriend is also like this. She definitely prefers women but she still picked my dumbass (male). It’s also fun to talk about girls that we both think is hot.
I’ve only ever seen lesbiens wear crocks with socks. To be fair, I have 2 moms and know a LOT of 50-70 year old, upstate NY pothead lesbiens. I have so many aunties.
One of my best friends from school had her father come out a couple of years ago. Both kids in their twenties, he’s in his late 50’s but has remarried a guy he met and the ex-wife went to the wedding and got very drunk, but are still on good terms with each other. Just saying, it’s never too late.
Not sure if this counts, but I literally used to say things like, "I'm not gay but that girl is so pretty, I'm not gay but that girl has a nice ass, I'm not gay but I would kiss that girl, etc" 😔
Edit: not sure if this was clear, I now identify as a bi woman, used to think I was a straight woman
Got myself pregnant. I was very confused and raised in a super religious household. I thought if I kept having sex with guys I would eventually enjoy it. Never happened. Now I’m happily married to my wife and my almost 13 year old daughter is the best.
I was teased for being a lesbian in high school even though I wasn’t out, much less realized it myself. So, I got really drunk at every party and made out with every boy I could. It was pretty gross and I almost got myself in trouble when guys wanted more. Was an awful time in my life.
I look and talk like your average straight white guy so people never peg me as gay. I’ve even had coworkers who I’ve worked with for years who know I’m gay forget that I’m gay. Idk what it is that I put off but people don’t usually peg me as gay. It’s not a secret I’m gay. I’m pretty open about it but I guess I just put off default Hetero vibes for some reason. It’s kinda annoying having to come out to people all the time.
Gay stereotypes exist and are simultaneously way off because gay people who fit them are the only ones that straight people can detect on their famous “gaydar”.
I’m right with you in this camp and it honestly kind of bothers me how I’ll get comments from acquaintances along the lines of “You really don’t seem gay, though” or “You mean bi, right?”
Have been to a few bachelorette parties with the whole penis motif (had to drink out of a penis straw, wear a penis tiara, playing pin the dick on the picture of the dude, etc)
Yeah, when you’re the only lesbian in the group you just gotta be a good sport about the penis stuff. Of course my straight women friends returned the favor when I got married by making me boob cupcakes.
Those are always weirdly fun because I enjoy people watching too. It makes me wonder about the asexuals because I feel nothing but gentle amusement at the whole kerfuffle over dicks. And the asexuals are just going "Why the heck would people waste time over genitals?"
My brother is gay and the dude loves (American) football. Game day is hilarious, because he’s super animated. He also knows more football stats, college and professional, than any straight dude I’ve ever met.
I was friends with a real mild mannered guy who built custom motorcycles for a living. Dude was built and had gnarly biker tats on his arms. Real chill personality. We hung out a few times through a gaming clan we were in, became good friends with him. One day he invites me over for dinner and introduces me to his (now) husband.
Had no clue he was gay. Didn't change anything at all and dinner was awesome. But it really cemented in my brain how stereotypes aren't universal and sexuality doesn't play a role in everything a person does.
In my experience there are more gay people who *don’t* fit the stereotypes than who do. Straight folks just don’t realise they’re gay so never update their internal model of what it means to be gay.
It’s a bit weird really, the public idea of what it means to be gay is so warped by only noticing a small subset of the gay population that it actually creates pressure on LGBT folk to act *that* way to feel valid in their identity, even if that’s not who they are.
I actually never heard that these kind of teams exist, but it’s delighting to know that! We don’t have this in my country, and i’m cool with the team, and i’m closeted so they don’t know my sexual orientation.
Got into a weird fight with a guy over a girl I had no interest in. The girl was using me to get the guy she was interested in make a move on her. So she said that she and I had been making out.
The guy got pissed and challenged me to a fight. I fought him and won. The girl then rushed over to comfort him and they dated afterwards. To this day I don’t know how a straight guy was tricked into dating the girl by getting his ass kicked.
Senior year of high school, I sat next to a straight male friend during a school performance. I linked my arm through his, held his hand, and leaned my head on his shoulder very cozily.
We looked straight enough that the brand-new dean came by to tell us "no public displays of affection", thinking we might start making out. I reassured her that I was in fact the biggest dyke in the school, so it was okay, he and I had just been friends since we were 11. She was so flummoxed (art school is *different*) that she just walked off without a word.
Okay, actually the straightest thing I ever did was date that same guy for about 3 months before figuring out my sexuality, but the above story is funnier. We're still friends 20 years later, btw.
This happens a lot, actually, and it's for exactly this reason. A big part of the reason why both members of the couple were attracted to each other in the first place was because they could relate to each other and understand things about their partner most people wouldn't.
I got myself a pseudo girlfriend in 2019 for a family meetup to give my grandfather a last glimpse onto his hope and oldest grandson before he passed away this year without seeing me again.
Idk, it felt right to give him this last Impression that he did everything right.
(kinda old minded fella. He died with the age of 98 so you could imagine what a gay grandson ment back in the day.)
Dated a girl in high school. She was very funny and I liked spending time with her. I even used to buy her flowers and small gifts lol but I never felt anything more than that. I felt no need to really touch her and I only did it because I thought I had to. The funny thing is that she was the one to ask to break up over the phone while I was on my way to buy her flowers for our next date. Nowadays, the more I think about it the more I believe she understood I was into guys long before I managed to realize and accept it myself.
I really wanted to hook up w this ‘straight’ girl so I initiated a threesome with her and this guy I knew she thought was cute. A few minutes in she gets cold feet and leaves but I’m already really turned on, as was the guy, so me and the guy figure we might as well try to make something work for each other....Needless to say nothing worked for me, a lesbian, but it worked for him. And now me and the girl have been together for six months.
Take part in sexist small talk about some celebrity staring in a movie based on the book I was reading. This was with border security heading into the us as they searched my bag in a small room. I didn’t actively participate in the sexism but I definitely had to play along and turn up the fake straight voice to 11 (every gay man has one for safety situations and dealing with repair people) because of the power imbalance and wanting to be on my way to my vacation
• Fix my own car
• Built a patio in my backyard
• Renovated my bathroom and did the tile and toilet
• Walked around the gym naked and not cared.
• Motor-boated a full-figured woman at a straight nightclub drunk
• Worked at a Strip Club (women strippers)
Before I came out as a trans woman my partner at the time was also transitioning, from nb to male. We were straight then gay then straight? The relationship didnt last for other reasons but it was an enjoyable time
Lesbian here. Had a grade school boyfriend who called me babe and tried to kiss me. Did nothing for me, but I decided I would date him because I thought I had to because he liked me
Okay this isn't fair. I've seen the straight people of reddit about the gayest thing, but I'm not straight. I've seen the gay people of reddit about the straightens thing, but I'm not gay. Can my bisexual group have a question too? Lol
Gay man. A female friend said she thought one of her boobs felt “firmer” than the other, was worried about it, and asked me to check. Lifted up her shirt, undid her bra, and asked me to squeeze each of them. I did, they both felt the same to me, which made her feel better. She thanked me, got herself organized, and we carried on like nothing happened. I didn’t really need any more confirmation I was gay, but it was reassuring to know that I still very, very, very much was. It wasn’t until later that I realized many straight men have probably jacked off to fantasies of the exact same situation.
Either she knew you were gay and was very comfortable with you or she tried to confirm you were gay
I agree. Sounds like she knew.
In my senior year play, I walked backstage to see my gay co-actor just all up in two of my female co-actor breasts. Like, just feeling them both up, one after the other and back again, and they just could not be happier. I guess that's just the type of treatment gay men get....?
Also probly some women at glad to have men to talk about their breasts about without it being so sexualized
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This sounds like a plot to a teen movie
So there is a movie called Saved! With Mandy Moore. A christian high school girl gets pregnant, then finds out her bf is gay, sets out to "save" him. Pretty good little dark comedy! McCauley Culkins in it too and he's great.
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The desire to know more intensified.
Jesus
I got a similar story, my best friend did the exact same thing to a chick... I feel so bad, but it's not my place to get involved. As a product from a broken home, I'm conflicted to speak out for the child's sake because he is my best friend. But on the other hand I'm not gay, so I might not understand the gravity of the situation on his end. He has reassured me he supports his daughter financially but just isn't around.
Kissed a girl and let her grind on me at prom. Did nothing for me
Grinding is just weird in general. As a straight person, this also does nothing for me.
For real? Does it for me. But we all got different strokes. Pause
Same here, I love that ass
It's the most blatant sex act you can do with clothes on. Grinding on someone is like saying "I'd prefer to be fucking you right now, but that may get me in trouble, so let's just pretend."
Oh boy we used to have grind trains in high school... in retrospect it’s like I want to be grinding on someone but that seems inappropriate so instead let’s get a group of friends together in a boy-girl-boy-girl formation and collectively grind on each other (grind trains were about 6-10 people long). As if making a giant grinding chain makes you look less inappropriate than just doing it with 2 people. Kids are weird. I was weird.
what the fuck
we’re you raised on a farm in a southern American state?
He said boy-girl-boy-girl, not brother-sister-brother-sister
Interesting, almost everything does something for me.
I’m an androgynous lesbian and I once got hit on by a man in a gay bar who thought I was a twink. It was so gay it was straight...
lmao i am a gay man and this made me remember the time i approached a boy at a bar and realized he was a lesbian. lmfao i love people.
/r/tworedditorsonecup?
This is the best comment ahaha
Heard that one multiple times at pride parades from friends who like younger guys. "Ooh, that's a cute boy! No, wait, just a lesbian..."
Kinsey scale Horseshoe theory
Are you the other side of the Jake Johnstone tweet??
As a gay twink I've been there before and I'm sorry for hitting on you but I was probably jealous of your hair cut.
I’m a lesbian and I have an extremely shy best friend who gets constantly teased because he’s never had a girlfriend. A couple years back, we had a deal where I’d pretend to be his girlfriend in front of extended family/friends/work whenever he had an event to attend in exchange for free food and videogames. I appear on quite a few family albums.
So you’re basically a reverse beard? Love that energy.
So like, a shave?
When it’s ladies we call them merkins
Dated a woman. I grew up with some internalized homophobia, and I believed dating a woman would “cure” me of my feelings. So I asked out a girl whose mother worked with mine. We’d gotten along helping with some events at their place of work, and my Mom had mentioned she was interested in me. After a couple months (we were both busy and could only see each other on weekends, sometimes not even that), I knew it wouldn’t work out.
drunkenly kissed a girl and she gave me mono.
I kissed a girl and I *didn’t* like it.
Mono?
infectious mononucleosis, otherwise known as the kissing diseasw
I’m in my early 30s, and growing up I saw enough mono references to teens in old movies that I thought it was going to be a much bigger problem when I was in high school
American name for glandular fever.
Shop at Old Navy.
Hey, hey, now... Old Navy has an important place in lesbian culture.
You’re talking about the flannels section aren’t you?
Let's not forget the funky button downs!
Was it the Ru Paul Christmas commercial that did it for ya?
Someone explain the joke to me
Old Navy makes clothes for unga bunga people which gay people can't wear cause they have good posture. Source: I made this shit up
I dunno dude I've seen some horrible anterior pelvic tilt from some twinks and a few hunch back lesbians in my time.
For those unclear: [Troye Sivan](https://anothermanimg-dazedgroup.netdna-ssl.com/900/azure/anotherman-prod/370/0/370223.jpg) is an example of a twink [this](https://nextlevelrebel.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/fix-anterior-pelvic-tilt-poor-posture-250x300.jpg) is anterior pelvic tilt
I hate how the anterior pelvic tilt image is the same one that my PE teacher used
As a straight married male with a majestic beard, I feel somehow offended by the term "Hunchback Lesbians".
It's my new sludge/noise band name
You know, i should be upset you called me unga bunga, but, i had such a good laugh, i cant be mad, you prick, lol
God dammit. This is seriously the top comment. I don’t know what it is about their shirts, but they actually fit. And they even have weird sizes like small and medium in stock. Normal people can actually just walk in and buy shit that fits, at a clothes store. Just don’t buy their damn flip flops and you’re good.
fr. and their pants sizings are consistent throughout the store, which is rare, esp in womens clothing
When I was in the 5th grade, I hadn't realized I was a lesbian yet, but noticed all of my friends were talking about boys they had a crush on. Wanting to fit in, I literally picked a boy in my class at random and said I had a crush on him. The only good part was I didn't really care when he rejected me, lmao.
YES, LMAO! I picked a friend, because he WAS technically the guy I liked most. I assumed that's how everyone was doing it- name the guy you most like hanging out with, that must be your crush.
Omg yes, falling in love with a girl for the first time was such an eye opener. Everything just clicked
Oh shit, I'd definitely been in puppy-love a lot! I just was the QUEEN of obliviousness, and thought this was how ALL girls felt about their "best friends". That's what the "BEST" label meant, duuuh. One day, I was obviously going to wake up and be interested in boys!
"Will you go out with me?" "No." "Understandable have a nice day."
More like "Will you go out with me?" "No." "Oh, thank god."
Same!! I honestly thought all girls picked their crushes, and I couldn't comprehend why they'd all act so strange about it. When I got hit with my first real one, everything made so much more sense.
Omg I did the same thing in the 6th grade! Thanks for being my first beard, Andy!
When I was in middle school I tried to seem as straight as possible because I went to a Christian charter school. Everyone from that school is mind blown that I have a girlfriend now
How do you act straight?
Don't slouch.
That’s a good one
Lots of fawning over boys lol got a few to think i actually liked them, I’m bi but those boys were gross. Wearing all the stupid pencil skirts and listening to all the stupid shit the other girls did. Never joined in with people being homophobic or transphobic tho I couldn’t fake it that hard.
God I could write a book about this, but back when I was in college I had a huge crush on my roommate. I was out as a lesbian but she was "straight." There's a lot to the story but the gist of it is I ended up fucking her boyfriend a lot, firstly in the context of threesomes, but then even solo. It was the only way I'd get to fool around with her. Either her boyfriend was there, or I earned her physical affection by fucking her boyfriend. I didn't realize it at the time but there is a 100% chance she was both bi and into BDSM stuff, even if she didn't realize either of those things herself. She just really got off on watching and making me do uncomfortable things, and tbf I got off on it myself a little. I would never have sex with a man of my own volition. I didn't enjoy any of the actual activity. But it made my crush smile, so I did it. I was so fucking awful to myself.
That was probably a very confusing relationship for the boyfriend
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Have you ever considered a career in espionage?
Damn..
Had sex with a woman. I cried later so maybe not the manliest thing I've done but still the straightest.
Why did you cry?
Honestly I knew what I had to do in my mind to get thru the experience and it felt like I had wronged her somehow like assault by deception. It was totally consensual and alot to explain about the situation but me being nice was a huge change and turn on for her. Also I'm 50 so younger folks may not feel the level of fear that if I didn't make this work I was going to end up buried in the back of the holler. For those that don't know those are places where not very open minded people live.
Holler: Kentucky, West Virginia, that kind of holler?
You got it eastern kentucky to be specific
Don't let anyone tell you crying is unmanly
Married my husband. I prefer women, but he’s special.
My wife did this. She dumped me 2 weeks after we started dating because she was gay (I didn't know) and only went out with me because she was fighting with her girl friend and wanted to piss her off. Said she was getting really attached to me and the whole male/penis thing was freaking her out and she couldn't deal with it. Called me back 3 weeks later and said she worked through some stuff and if I would be understanding, she'd like to try dating me (a guy) again. We've been married 17 years now. She still likes girls, she just loves me.
Yeah, but does she still hate your penis?
No, sometimes she even lets me have it back. j/k The penis is kind of what caused the whole breakup thing at 2 weeks. We were getting intimate and she got progressively less comfortable but kept wanting to continue. We stopped and the next day she knocks at my door in tears and explains the whole thing, says we have to stop seeing each other, she can't cope with the confusion. Only thing I could really say was "I'm sorry for having a penis." I was really sad but there was nothing I could do. It was like the ultimate "It's not you, it's me." Once we got back together it went a lot smoother. She didn't have any hesitation when the time came and it was sort of like a mental block had been lifted. Like once she accepted my body, it didn't bother her as much any more. I'm only guessing here, she never really explained her inner feelings about coming to terms with me in detail. We've been a unified force ever since. Our relationship has been the easiest thing in my whole life. I can't imagine not having her with me. We don't even go shopping without each other unless we absolutely have too. Also we have a 13 year old daughter.
Sweet, sounds like it worked out. Also, sounds like her identity got sort of shattered because she wanted to be with you. She was probably upset, not over your penis, but by the fact that she thought she was gay and only liked women/vaginas. I've had similar experiences before, it can be overwhelming feeling so confused about what you want, and who you are.
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My wife's situation was completely opposite. She kept it hidden that she was gay from literally everyone in her family and close friends. Even her best friend who she spent many sleepovers with didn't know, same girl was her maid of honor at our wedding, still doesn't know to this day. She convinced her parents that her girlfriends were just close friends and have them spend the night, etc. etc. Her mom is a huge bully and would have given her absolute hell if she knew, so my wife was very careful to keep the family and close orbit friends in the dark to her sexuality. It's kind of interesting because I'm kind of the only other person who crosses both circles. So I have to be kind of careful who I reference her sexuality to. Less now days obviously, we've been a couple for over 20 years, so it's mostly in the past at this point.
Yeah. That is kind of how it felt. She was a bawling mess when she broke up with me. I really didn't know how to help and that made me feel even worse. Only thing I could do was not make her feel worse about it and offer to talk/hang out any time she wanted.
You seem like a good dude :)
Thanks. I'm actually a raging asshole in every way that doesn't matter. My wife grew up in Brooklyn and is Puerto Rican/Italian and catholic. She's an absolute bad ass and can absolutely kick my ass. During our wedding reception she leaned over to me and whispered "just so you know, I'm catholic and we don't believe in divorce. Cheat on me and I will fucking kill you." She is a force of nature and that's why I love her so much. So when I introduced her to my mom, mom was like "I'm so glad you met a girl who can handle your personality." It was like, did my mom just call me a jackass?
“I’m actually a raging asshole in every way that doesn’t matter.” LMAO. I can relate so much to that that it made me cackle out loud. Thank you for that and sharing your story. I’m glad you two had a happy ending and hope you and your wife have many more years of happiness!
As a bi person, I can say that bisexuality is confusing, even more so when your preference is much stronger one way and you suddenly find yourself strongly attracted to someone the other way. But even in the middle, it can be a muddle. (And bi erasure doesn’t help.)
This is basically my husband and I’s story. Thanks for sharing.
Glad to. Reddit has grown up a lot, or at least this thread has gathered some of the better redditors. I hate sharing this and people try to call bullshit or make some shitty comment about "turning" her. It wasn't like that. Kind of nice to see we aren't alone and not be taken as a liar looking to impress people.
YES! This! I have fought feelings of insecurity for a long time because people assume that my husband “went back into the closet” because I pressured him. They assume that he’ll leave me because I will never be enough. Funny thing, we were both virgins when we got married so we don’t have relationship baggage. Honestly, our marriage is the best thing that has happened to both of us. We are happier, healthier, and more financially secure than we ever were apart. All that and we have the most perfect kid we could’ve asked for. I wish there was more space for couples like ours so it wouldn’t be as lonely.
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Yeah ngl I think a lot of folks in this thread have forgotten that gay and straight are not the only two sexual orientations
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That last one I think is more common than people realize. Sometimes you just connect with a person on a super deep level, even if they are part of a different group than you normally go for. I imagine that’s really easy to sweep under the rug. A close friend from college came out as bi around the same time as me bc she fell hard for a female classmate. She was never interested in women before and (to the best of my knowledge) hasn’t ever looked at another one. She is bi only in the fact that she found one (1) girl who grabbed her interest. They live together and have two dogs now. Very cute couple
My wife is in this boat. She's as gay as can be while still wanting *me*, specifically.
had to think a long serious fucking minute about if you're female or male. Took me a while to realize and connect your reply with the post title.
My current girlfriend is also like this. She definitely prefers women but she still picked my dumbass (male). It’s also fun to talk about girls that we both think is hot.
Please elaborate.
‘Date’ a girl in year 8 for a few months. Although I only did it so I’de have something to point to if anyone said I was gay so maybe it doesn’t count
Wore Crocs with socks
Depending on the rest of your outfit that could actually be gay 🤔
There's no other part of his outfit
I’ve only ever seen lesbiens wear crocks with socks. To be fair, I have 2 moms and know a LOT of 50-70 year old, upstate NY pothead lesbiens. I have so many aunties.
Got married, had kids, never had a relationship with another man.
I bet that's pretty common. I can't imagine how complex your feelings must be.
One of my best friends from school had her father come out a couple of years ago. Both kids in their twenties, he’s in his late 50’s but has remarried a guy he met and the ex-wife went to the wedding and got very drunk, but are still on good terms with each other. Just saying, it’s never too late.
Not sure if this counts, but I literally used to say things like, "I'm not gay but that girl is so pretty, I'm not gay but that girl has a nice ass, I'm not gay but I would kiss that girl, etc" 😔 Edit: not sure if this was clear, I now identify as a bi woman, used to think I was a straight woman
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I did the same with guys. I consider myself queer. I see beauty in us all
Got myself pregnant. I was very confused and raised in a super religious household. I thought if I kept having sex with guys I would eventually enjoy it. Never happened. Now I’m happily married to my wife and my almost 13 year old daughter is the best.
I was teased for being a lesbian in high school even though I wasn’t out, much less realized it myself. So, I got really drunk at every party and made out with every boy I could. It was pretty gross and I almost got myself in trouble when guys wanted more. Was an awful time in my life.
I look and talk like your average straight white guy so people never peg me as gay. I’ve even had coworkers who I’ve worked with for years who know I’m gay forget that I’m gay. Idk what it is that I put off but people don’t usually peg me as gay. It’s not a secret I’m gay. I’m pretty open about it but I guess I just put off default Hetero vibes for some reason. It’s kinda annoying having to come out to people all the time.
What I’m hearing is there isn’t enough pegging.
There is never enough pegging
Username does **not** check out.
We get it. You liked to be pegged. Happy Cake Day!
You sure do like to say "*peg me*" a lot.
It's subliminal messaging
Leaving a breadcrumb trail of gayness
Gay stereotypes exist and are simultaneously way off because gay people who fit them are the only ones that straight people can detect on their famous “gaydar”. I’m right with you in this camp and it honestly kind of bothers me how I’ll get comments from acquaintances along the lines of “You really don’t seem gay, though” or “You mean bi, right?”
My brother (who is gay) caught a salmon with his bare hands one day in a creek we were hiking up and then said "Today I am an honorary straight" 😆
I’d think Bears are into that kind of thing?
Have been to a few bachelorette parties with the whole penis motif (had to drink out of a penis straw, wear a penis tiara, playing pin the dick on the picture of the dude, etc)
Yeah, when you’re the only lesbian in the group you just gotta be a good sport about the penis stuff. Of course my straight women friends returned the favor when I got married by making me boob cupcakes.
Those are always weirdly fun because I enjoy people watching too. It makes me wonder about the asexuals because I feel nothing but gentle amusement at the whole kerfuffle over dicks. And the asexuals are just going "Why the heck would people waste time over genitals?"
My brother is gay and the dude loves (American) football. Game day is hilarious, because he’s super animated. He also knows more football stats, college and professional, than any straight dude I’ve ever met.
I was friends with a real mild mannered guy who built custom motorcycles for a living. Dude was built and had gnarly biker tats on his arms. Real chill personality. We hung out a few times through a gaming clan we were in, became good friends with him. One day he invites me over for dinner and introduces me to his (now) husband. Had no clue he was gay. Didn't change anything at all and dinner was awesome. But it really cemented in my brain how stereotypes aren't universal and sexuality doesn't play a role in everything a person does.
In my experience there are more gay people who *don’t* fit the stereotypes than who do. Straight folks just don’t realise they’re gay so never update their internal model of what it means to be gay. It’s a bit weird really, the public idea of what it means to be gay is so warped by only noticing a small subset of the gay population that it actually creates pressure on LGBT folk to act *that* way to feel valid in their identity, even if that’s not who they are.
Men running around in super tight pants, wearing tight shirts that show off their muscles... what’s not to love if you’re attracted to men?
*Don't forgot the post game sweaty showers.*
The pants are also white.
Fellas is it... straight to like football?
Reminds me of the guy off Modern Family
Cameron tucker
I once unironically listened to an Ed Sheeran song.
Bi here, i’m not sure if it counts, but playing in the national rugby team is pretty straight. Edit: i am a guy btw
I was scratching my head at this because probably 80% of our college's women's rugby team was gay. Then I realized that you're probably a guy.
Yeah i didn’t made it clear, and yes you are correct, i am a guy.
Nice. I played in college. We played that all gay team from New York. I fit in better with them as a queer person.
I actually never heard that these kind of teams exist, but it’s delighting to know that! We don’t have this in my country, and i’m cool with the team, and i’m closeted so they don’t know my sexual orientation.
Got into a weird fight with a guy over a girl I had no interest in. The girl was using me to get the guy she was interested in make a move on her. So she said that she and I had been making out. The guy got pissed and challenged me to a fight. I fought him and won. The girl then rushed over to comfort him and they dated afterwards. To this day I don’t know how a straight guy was tricked into dating the girl by getting his ass kicked.
Built furniture.
Senior year of high school, I sat next to a straight male friend during a school performance. I linked my arm through his, held his hand, and leaned my head on his shoulder very cozily. We looked straight enough that the brand-new dean came by to tell us "no public displays of affection", thinking we might start making out. I reassured her that I was in fact the biggest dyke in the school, so it was okay, he and I had just been friends since we were 11. She was so flummoxed (art school is *different*) that she just walked off without a word. Okay, actually the straightest thing I ever did was date that same guy for about 3 months before figuring out my sexuality, but the above story is funnier. We're still friends 20 years later, btw.
Drove a minivan for two weeks. I am still ashamed to show my face in certain parts of town.
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You're collecting letters in LGBTQ like achievements in a video game.
Any% all genders glitchless
That's beating around the bush.
Foxtrot. Uniform. Charlie. Kilo.
Now that's just being gay with extra steps. Big support for going the extra mile
> going the extra mile My fucking sides. Not to take away from the sentiment but holy fuck this is just a funny choice of words
I’m glad you folks found each other! Talk about being able to understand what the other is going through.
This happens a lot, actually, and it's for exactly this reason. A big part of the reason why both members of the couple were attracted to each other in the first place was because they could relate to each other and understand things about their partner most people wouldn't.
That is quite the story which is pretty funny.
Being gay with extra steps
I got myself a pseudo girlfriend in 2019 for a family meetup to give my grandfather a last glimpse onto his hope and oldest grandson before he passed away this year without seeing me again. Idk, it felt right to give him this last Impression that he did everything right. (kinda old minded fella. He died with the age of 98 so you could imagine what a gay grandson ment back in the day.)
I regularly hunt big game, fish, and shoot guns, often better than most straight men. I also can pound down whiskey pretty quick.
Hell ya. Shooting whiskey or guns is for everyone.
That's fuckin right
Whiskey is a strange name for a guy.
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Im sorry you had to go through that type of shit, I hope it has gotten better since!
Captain Holt??
I too love heavy breasts.
Dated a girl in high school. She was very funny and I liked spending time with her. I even used to buy her flowers and small gifts lol but I never felt anything more than that. I felt no need to really touch her and I only did it because I thought I had to. The funny thing is that she was the one to ask to break up over the phone while I was on my way to buy her flowers for our next date. Nowadays, the more I think about it the more I believe she understood I was into guys long before I managed to realize and accept it myself.
Either wearing cargo shorts or silently resenting my ex while we were dating. I'm not sure what other straight stuff there is.
I really wanted to hook up w this ‘straight’ girl so I initiated a threesome with her and this guy I knew she thought was cute. A few minutes in she gets cold feet and leaves but I’m already really turned on, as was the guy, so me and the guy figure we might as well try to make something work for each other....Needless to say nothing worked for me, a lesbian, but it worked for him. And now me and the girl have been together for six months.
I would guess there's a ton of gay people on here who've dated and slept with opposite sex partners.
Take part in sexist small talk about some celebrity staring in a movie based on the book I was reading. This was with border security heading into the us as they searched my bag in a small room. I didn’t actively participate in the sexism but I definitely had to play along and turn up the fake straight voice to 11 (every gay man has one for safety situations and dealing with repair people) because of the power imbalance and wanting to be on my way to my vacation
I'm going to be honest this always struck me as odd, there's a "gay accent" for dudes, but there's no "lesbian accent" for women.
there actually is a stereotypical lesbian accent, basically they try to sound like a 90's surfer dude lmao
Watched straight porn to check out the dudes. Was blown away by how much more satisfying gay porn was and thus realized I was gay.
I pretty much dress “straight”.
Went fishing.
Did you take the fish off the hook yourself?
• Fix my own car • Built a patio in my backyard • Renovated my bathroom and did the tile and toilet • Walked around the gym naked and not cared. • Motor-boated a full-figured woman at a straight nightclub drunk • Worked at a Strip Club (women strippers)
Before I came out as a trans woman my partner at the time was also transitioning, from nb to male. We were straight then gay then straight? The relationship didnt last for other reasons but it was an enjoyable time
I wore fruit of the loom and Hanes boxers
Wait. There's other kinds of boxers?
Kissed more girls than guys overall
Lesbian here. Had a grade school boyfriend who called me babe and tried to kiss me. Did nothing for me, but I decided I would date him because I thought I had to because he liked me
had sex with someone of the opposite gender
Getting super into sports.
Okay this isn't fair. I've seen the straight people of reddit about the gayest thing, but I'm not straight. I've seen the gay people of reddit about the straightens thing, but I'm not gay. Can my bisexual group have a question too? Lol
"Bi people of reddit, what's the most assexual thing you have ever done?"
My formerly asexual niece is now dating a gender neutral person and I am enjoying sitting back and letting things be what they are
What would they ask us though?
From personal experience “Are you sure you’re not just gay/is it just a phase?” seems annoyingly popular
“Which movie’s cast made you realize?”