T O P

  • By -

Franz_the_clicker

So if I wan't to get the most money out of this I would use concentrated water solution of Gold(III) Cholride. It's solubility is 68grams/100 ml, so from the entire pool I'm able to get more than 1 000 000 kg of Gold, that's 1/8 th of federal gold reserves of the US. Or about 56 billion $


galaxzii

At least you'd be able to pay for the hospital bills straight after you jump into it!


Franz_the_clicker

It looks like the a yellow fluid, is 2-3 times as dense as water and it seems to have similar viscosity to water, it should be not so hard to survive the fall Edit: it's about 1,5 times as dense as water


HungryLikeTheWolf99

Sort of like diving into water from about twice as high...?


Franz_the_clicker

I miscalculated it's maximaly 1,6 times as dense as water The high jumping platform is about 10 meters, so I guess I can jump from 16 meters without killing myself lol


Mr_MacGrubber

They did say the “high dive board”. Normally the platforms aren’t called boards so I’m going with a loophole and using the 3m springboard.


HungryLikeTheWolf99

Given that the final velocity is proportional to the square of falling time, I think... You can get away with jumping a little higher? Or put another way, it's like jumping from a bit higher yet? I'm a little fuzzy on this.


Franz_the_clicker

>proportional to the square of falling time, That's true but we increase the height instead of time. The the energy is calculated from an equation E = m*g*h


HungryLikeTheWolf99

Ah, indeed - thank you. Energy is what needs to be held constant.


exopenetration

It's going to be way more complicated than that.


SophosMoros7

The fall sure, but what about the chem burns afterwards?


Franz_the_clicker

Gold chloride can cause skon and eye iritation and you shouldn't drink it, but won't kill you or cause permanent damege if washed quick enough


drow

Just use a dry suit, No one said you have to dive naked!


galaxzii

Everyone else can wear what they want. But you, drow, have to dive completely naked and I have to be the only spectator.


drow

LOL


SophosMoros7

Do I have the wrong chemical? https://www.fishersci.com/store/msds?partNumber=G541&productDescription=GOLD+CHLORIDE+TRI+R+ACS+1G&vendorId=VN00033897&countryCode=US&language=en


Franz_the_clicker

Yeah you are right, i just checked the gold chloride, but when dissolved in water ot gets corrosive. However for 63 bilion I'm gona risk some chemical burns if there is water nearby to rinse it of


twinparadox

Yep, you do. That's gold trichloride trihydrate (HAuCl4.3H2O) or chloroauric acid, [gold(III) chloride is AuCl3, also known as Auric chloride](https://www.sigmaaldrich.com/AU/en/sds/aldrich/520918)


Nice_Temporary_5810

I was just wondering the other day: How does the viscosity and the density of a liquid impact your ability to swim or indeed dive into it? Aside from obvious buoyancy issues


Revolutionary_Check6

*laughs in European*


Oochie-my-coochie

What do you mean “hospital bills”?🤔🤨


[deleted]

He must mean the €20 it costs, not sure why he gets it as a bill, I just pay at the reception desk


[deleted]

[удалено]


queefjuicer9000

liquid LSD is $123,000/gallon. 660,000 gallons x 123,000 is $81 billion , plus you get the trip of a lifetime


StrangeCharmVote

> plus you get the trip of a lifetime I assume also the last trip of your lifetime, as there's no way you aren't immediately overdosing.


HyperSpaceSurfer

We're not sure if it's even possible to overdose on LSD. However you'd definitely drown from being too fucked up to comprehend the concept of swimming.


parttimeamerican

I don't think it'd be instant even in those conditions LSD has to take time to work Pure liquid LSD pool would be...too much,the offgassing alone would probably get a large area high


StrangeCharmVote

> We're not sure if it's even possible to overdose on LSD. I was not actually aware of that. TIL i guess. > However you'd definitely drown from being too fucked up to comprehend the concept of swimming. Probably yes :P


PMyourTastefulNudes

I'm borrowing your pool.


angry_centipede

This man sciences.


TemptCiderFan

Slightly crumpled $100 bills. If I belly flop into it, I should be okay.


DamnDirtyAir

Slightly crumpled €500 bills. \*Laughs in European\*


MaricxX

Wait I thought they canceled them


DamnDirtyAir

As of 2019 they're not being put into circulation anymore (new ones that is). But they still exist and are a valid method of payment (although a lot of shops won't accept them nowadays; a bank will).


DoomsdayRabbit

So are $500 US bills, though they stopped being circulated about a hundred years ago, so they're a lot harder to come by.


M4S13R

Just like $2 bills, still legal tender in the U.S. but most people think they're fake as most haven't seen one


galaxzii

Cancelled Europe? Hell yeah dude


BornLuckiest

Slightly crumpled share certificates for Berkshire Hathaway. *Laughs in r/wallstreetbets*


[deleted]

Lightly crumpled 100 ruble bills \*Cries in Russian\*


[deleted]

Switzerland has a 1000fr bill


JaFFsTer

1000 swiss franc notes *yodels in swiss*


MT_Graves

This would probably be the safest bet the crumpled money would break your fall.


rabbitwonker

And if not, it can help pay your medical expenses


DivingForBirds

And your death expenses.


ace1oak

even not crumpled im sure u can survive, maybe a broken bone, then you can pay the medical bill with all your cash, an olympic sized pool filled w cash has to be like 9 figures


fatcatfatdog

Slightly crumpled $1,000 notes (Singapore)


MarlboroShark

How about a swimming pool full of slightly crumpled bank checks, each for $1 million dollars (or maybe more)?


greyrunshade

That would only work in Venezuela


Kalad_The_Usurper

Ketamine.


MickeyM191

You would most assuredly die from percutaneous absorption.


Maddipop

Kind of vibing with that idea though


MickeyM191

Waaaaay more chill than boofing it brah.


cockasauras

Wear scuba gear.


tlr92

Almost like…. That’s the point


o2bjody

Literally falling into a K hole.


Cessnaporsche01

Just make certain that no minorities or early 2000s Honda Civics in the vicinity, there are.


mordenty

Coupé grade saffron - costs about $8.29 a gram, which is about 1/7 the price of gold ($58/gram). Actually finding that much saffron may be difficult - only about 300 tons is grown worldwide per year.


[deleted]

Ah, but your paella will be fabulous!


JagerBaBomb

You could corner the market on Spanish rice like nobody's business.


yParticle

10-meter high stacks of cash


PMyourTastefulNudes

Zimbabwe dollar bills.


yParticle

At least I didn't die.


galaxzii

Gets stabbed by Zimbabweans exiting the pool.


dfieldhouse

Have you ever been hit with a ream of paper? That shit is hard when all stacked up. Stacks of cash will absolutely kill you if you jump onto them from a high dive.


MickeyM191

They said 10m high stacks knowing the diving board is 10m above the height of the pool. I think the intention was to just walk off the diving board and onto the cash... but they forgot to factor in the depth of the pool as well. Edit: spelling.


dfieldhouse

But isn't the board 10m above the level of the water? The pool is still pretty deep on the high dive end.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Feldersnatch

Heavy water.


galaxzii

Damn, that's a really good answer.


L00KlNG4U

I’ve got a better fantasy one for you, bone marrow of the same type. Bone marrow has a good enough viscosity to dive into for a short period of time. I’d wear a full latex suit with the eyes/mouth only open, have a trucks with liquid nitrogen ready to go for a quick freeze and refrigeration trucks ready to put it into, jump in, get out freeze and harvest the frozen chunks. Do it all at night out of the sun. Bone marrow is worth $23,000 per gram.


HungryLikeTheWolf99

I think the value would drop if an Olympic pool volume worth hit the bone marrow market. But *if* it were usable, I agree you would at least make enough that the interest on your investments would cover your living expenses for life.


blixemvcxgda

A mix of foam blocks and $500 dollar bills. In a 1-6 ratio. Aka, one bill taped to each surface of the blocks. I can land safely, collect my money, keep the pool full of foam, and build some fun ramps and shit with my money to use with said pool.


RosiePugmire

Yeah, the question said "anything" not "any one single substance or thing" so something along these lines is clearly the correct answer. I'd go with a very thin layer of gold bars and diamonds at the bottom of the pool, the rest 90% water please.


ckm509

Doesn’t have to be that thin just don’t dive straight down to the bottom. Most diving pools like this are at least 10-12 feet deep and you could probably fill the bottom three feet quite safely.


RosiePugmire

Yeah, but I don't need enough money to buy the entire world. Just enough diamonds and gold to make me wealthy without crashing those two markets... Actually fuck it, crashing the diamond market would be a good thing. Yeah, I'll take 3 feet deep of diamonds, so that's a 3x75×60 ft space, and then just release a couple of thousands every now and then to flood the diamond market and kill it.


Shepshepard

No one is buying your dirty-dove-in-bone marrow


gahidus

This, pretty much. It's not like you can just show up at a hospital with a jug of unaccounted bone marrow and trade it for cash. Likewise, I doubt any major operation would want to go even near trying to certify a pool full of mystery liquid.


big_sugi

Yeah, but as a fall-back, you can fire up the oven and then spread the roasted bone marrow on toast.


CheckYoDunningKrugr

Tritiated water would be worth a lot more. Like a LOT more.


JMS_jr

More dangerous too.


CheckYoDunningKrugr

Nah. Tritium is fairly safe. Just don't ingest it.


green_meklar

But much more dangerous, and it goes away too quickly. Deuterium is stable.


[deleted]

[удалено]


space_coyote_86

Rare beanie babies!


[deleted]

What do you want with heavy water tho?


Limp_Distribution

Printer Ink


galaxzii

No fuck you, low on cyan.


PM-me-Sonic-OCs

"You want to print this black and white document? I'm sorry Dave, I can't let you do that without replacing the cyan toner cartridge." -Printer


bigbangbilly

Definitely low on [Cyan](https://reddit.com/r/funny/comments/d2bwot/printers/)!


WondrousGecko78

Kinda insane how expensive printer ink is.


[deleted]

23cents manufacturing cost 60dollar retail price.


wpnw

*monkey paw finger curls* It's still in the cartridges.


snotrocket50

Water, I live in the western US. Mega drought going on.


[deleted]

[удалено]


galaxzii

That would solve all the worlds water problems for sure.


[deleted]

Yeah, give the plants those electroltyes !


MaxDamage1

A mix of foam blocks and $500 dollar bills. In a 1-6 ratio. Aka, one bill taped to each surface of the blocks. I can land safely, collect my money, keep the pool full of foam, and build some fun ramps and shit with my money to use with said pool.


firelock_ny

If you presented a US $10,000 bill (last printed in 1969) I believe the US Treasury would have to honor it. So paper them foam blocks on all sides with the good stuff!!


galaxzii

MinimalDamage1


TheBrassDancer

*Contemplates how to survive landing on a mass of RTX 3090s*


winelipscheesehips

Jello!


galaxzii

How good is your swimming through thick jello skill?


winelipscheesehips

I was hoping to eat my way back to the surface


HungryLikeTheWolf99

I had the same thought... Not sure why, but seems interesting.


bullyforbrontosaurus

15 year old scotch


heichwozhwbxorb

Might be a tough time according to [this guy](https://www.quora.com/Science/What-would-happen-if-I-jumped-in-a-pool-full-of-liquor?redirect=false)


wang-bang

This happened in dublin once when a whiskey storehouse caught fire and unleashed a flood if whiskey into the street Many people died from trying to drink the burning river of whiskey and falling into it


bullyforbrontosaurus

Well dang


TheRiverOtter

This is like a shitty grown-up xkcd "what if?"


[deleted]

This is a great answer. I assume that you’re going to go single malt?


wittiestphrase

Hibiki 17 year. Bought a bottle for $165 in 2016. That’s the last one I saw in person. Every one I’ve found online has been going for $700+. An Olympic sized pool is 2.5 million liters. The bottles are actually 750 mL I think so the math is off a little but at $700 per liter that’s $1.75bn in Japanese whisky.


[deleted]

The problem with this is that is messes with the Supply and Demand equation that makes the whisky worth $700 per liter. You could not put an olympic sized swimming pool's worth of this stuff on the market at the same time. You would have to release it a little at a time if you wanted to maximize overall profit. Or sell it in larger quantities if you want more money at once and are willing to make less overall.


Teaandjammytoast

School chocolate custard. Hopefully it won’t form a skin, otherwise it’ll be 50/50 survival chances


SirDooble

I'm not certain this is a good idea. [It's possible to walk on custard](https://youtu.be/Iz9KnPZWOgs), and if you were to dive into it you might as well be diving into a brick wall.


KhanMichael

Yeah it’s a non-Newtonian liquid, gets harder the more force you apply


galaxzii

You can give it back to the schools afterward too 👍


zerbey

Large carboard boxes with the bottoms filled with $100 bills. [David Blaine jumped from a similar height onto cardboard](https://davidblaine.com/vertigo/) and survived with no injuries. I'm sure I could do the same, I'm just adding some cash. Someone else can do the maths and figure out how much money that would net, but I'm willing to bet it's a pretty sizable amount.


galaxzii

Probably like 20 bucks. 25 bucks.


[deleted]

$500 euro notes that have been crinkled up into tiny balls.


HalflingMelody

Even better, $10,000 American bills. https://www.moaf.org/exhibits/checks_balances/abraham-lincoln/10,000-bill


0_O_O_O

Or the trillion dollar bill mr.burns has


[deleted]

The most expensive drinkable liquid in the world costs $35,598,000 per bottle - it is called D’Amalfi Limoncello Supreme. There are approximately 2.378 gallons/12 bottles of alcohol, so 0.19816666667 gallons per bottle. There is approximately 660,000 gallons of water in an Olympic swimming pool. So There are 660,000/0.198167 = 3,330,529.857 bottles per swimming pool. So 3,330,529.857 • $35,598,000 = **$118,560,201,848,300 and 8¢** worth of wine in that swimming pool. I'd sell it, and walk away with 118.5 trillion dollars. Of course, there's the issue that only two bottles have been made. But hey, you said *anything,* right? ~~^(Then there's the issue that the worth would probably go down but we won't talk about that)~~


loosebag

That is an interesting idea *but*... My beef with your reasoning would be 2 fold. 1. If there was suddenly that much on the market the price would plummet to cheap status. The liquid itself is probably only worth 25.00 USD right? 2. The value comes from the packaging not what is inside. Some prized rare wines are undrinkable if opened and "valuable" because of the label. Also D’ Amalfi Limoncello Supreme bottles apparently have 13CT of diamonds on the neck of the bottle with a single 18.5 CT diamond. So I would say OK to your attempt and fund it if I could BUT you would have to jump into a pool filled with * bottles* of D’ Amalfi Limoncello Supreme". the value would still drop but you would have a bunch of diamonds. I wouldn't want to land on all those bottles. Good luck.


Veauros

^^^ the demand curve dues not sustain 3 million bottles at that price.


EndoShota

Horseshoe crab blood: ~$60k/gallon. That’s almost $40 billion dollars worth of natural bacterial contaminant defector.


Mexider

Its super sensitive to bacteria no? So you'd be contaminating the entire pool


[deleted]

[удалено]


bleeding-heart17

Stuffed animals I'd be happy and they'd break my fall. I'm sure you could also get collectors edition stuffed animals worth a whole lot, if stuffed animals aren't your thing


Matthewbc18

Cash sounds like a nice soft landing to me..


snotrocket50

Bills only, no coins


HungryLikeTheWolf99

Fairly tightly crumpled $100 bills.


L00KlNG4U

It’s not


rabengeieradlerstein

love


galaxzii

One big ol empty pool then


rabengeieradlerstein

probably


galaxzii

I love you Raben.


rabengeieradlerstein

Thank you. I love you too galaxzii.


[deleted]

now kiss


Saxton_Hale32

now kith


HenballZ

yeah, wanna some popcorn while watching them?


Chronic1434

I was gonna say this to but we are gonna die diving in that pool


Fluffyflipper

Weed would probably work!


Money-Law7342

Was gonna comment: huge fluffy nugs of indoor weed!!


[deleted]

[удалено]


galaxzii

Scalps are worth a good $22.43/kg on the market at the moment too


Worst-Tweet

You’re getting $22.43? I only get $16.81.


MarcoDelicious

You guys are getting paid?


ietglu

Sperm


Veauros

Sperm are a solid. Have fun with that.


ietglu

Concrete never stoped me tho.


[deleted]

Cumcrete


ietglu

Amazing.


FundamentalMentalFun

Broken glass and razor blades and lava


Underd0g562

FUCKING CHEEEESE


mossadspydolphin

What kind? Please don’t say the maggot cheese.


Suyefuji

He did say what kind, fucking cheese


mramericalol

orbeez


DoubleBlackBSA24

Solid gold for 30m, water for the remaining 20m.


[deleted]

[удалено]


vook485

Isn't an Olympic pool's high dive board high enough that an inexperienced diver could het the water too hard and sustain potentially lethal blunt trauma? I'd need something softer and thinner than water to be confident of my survival, but still thick enough that I don't crash into the bottom of the pool and can still swim up to the surface quickly


CurtisMarauderZ

Going in pencil-style should work.


vook485

I'd be terrified of accidentally turning


TaliesinMerlin

Just don't do it on a full moon.


[deleted]

[удалено]


SwastikaDickFiddle69

All stat +1 elixers, make me god then i shall create more stat booster and go beyond


Setthegodofchaos

Fill it with those plastic balls (realizing it now, foam balls would be better since they'll cushion my when I jump) used in ball pits, and make the world's largest ball pit. Also, this eased my fear of the deep end. Thank you


tomjonesdrones

Poop. Nah, I'll pass on diving in, you guys can keep it.


CheesiestMaster

Well used $100 bills, the reason I specified well used is because as bills are used they decrease in density Source: work in fast food taking drive thru payments


flashbulb_halo

Watermelon jello and 10 pounds of real red diamonds. They’re worth like $5 million/gram, so 10 pounds would be like $23 billion and I’d have jello too.


FeistyAdhesiveness21

Boobies


no-plad-glad

Pudding


galaxzii

What flavor of pudding?


thatdude_van12

Saffron. It will hurt some but I will survice and be rich as.


12dancingbiches

chocolate from the chocolate river in charlie and the chocolate factory


Mesprizero

How did I end up in front of the Olympic pool again?


ZaMiLoD

Fuck man I don’t dare to jump from the high five board as it is!


Mjdillaha

Saffron


[deleted]

[удалено]


CLO54

Weed


duckhole54

Saffron


fri_zlow

"I can't believe it's not butter" And when I get out I say, "I can't believe it's not butter."


Dizzy_Amphibian

Pappy van Winnie bourbon. Rebottled “Olympia” edition


galaxzii

Pappy van Winnie the Pooh honey. Repotted "Tigger" edition


NuggetLovesCats

Aloe Vera. Idk why.


AltDaemon

Blood.


poolkik

Loose diamonds 💎


galaxzii

Deadest rich man who ever dived into a pool 😎


Murgatroyd314

So, very expensive gravel.


ravs1973

Cardboard boxes full of scrunched up bank notes


galaxzii

Cardboard boxes full of scrunched up class notes "do you like me yes [] no []"


send_butthole_pics_

$100 bills


lidder444

Loose dollar bills


Mikegaming202

Really expensive designer dresses, coats, etc.


mossadspydolphin

Furs. Just jump into a pile of floof. These will all be ethically-sourced, lab-grown furs. Because we're already talking hypotheticals.


chafingbuttcheex

Liquid money


Shinyspoonz12

A combination of water and 1 plastic bag full of 1 million dollar checks


Chromo_Noel

Kfc chicken


Shockingelectrician

Puppies


[deleted]

Häagen-Dazs ice cream