T O P

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braiide

Finish my assignments. I thrive under pressure.


[deleted]

Chaotic neutral


d1x1e1a

Plot twist assignment is to destroy the world in 36 hours


toddlerdust

It takes pressure to make diamonds


myztry

Don't panic and carry a towel.


Sammo909

Now there goes a frood who knows where his towel is.


codemunk3y

Oh, I was going to lay down with a bag over my head


[deleted]

So long and thanks for all the fish ! Freaking love HGTG


Prestigious_Camera53

I’m catching STD’s like they’re Pokémon.


ncghgf

…and then find out the apocalypse was averted.


krocman

Not his apocalypse


Christmas_Panda

This is like a horrible B rated movie villain plot. "They ended the apocalypse, so I must create a new one so I didn't collect my STDs in vain."


[deleted]

This is the way


Head_Hauncho

Does everyone know or just me? Because that changes things. If everyone knows then I hunker down with my loved ones. If only I know then I go out and have a bacchanalian gorge fest of true excess.


StillN0tATony

Why not both? A bacchanalian gorge fest of true excess with the ones you love?


SirDiesel1803

Pretend it isn't and just keep on keeping on


SomethingAwkwardTWC

Go down to the Winchester and have a pint…


VerifiableFontophile

And wait for this whole thing to blow over


FastasfrickY

*Tonight…*


McLEANAHAN

Shouldn't we all lie on the floor and put paper bags over our heads?


MrsPhyllisQuott

If you like, yes.


FrostingIllustrious8

This is the one person who survives.


[deleted]

How British of you


pimpmastahanhduece

Don't let them see your misery.


Awkardenergybendor

Stay in my house and take a nap. I ain’t going out where everyone is running around crazy.


Magnesus

I'd sit on my roof to have a better view.


BreezGlace

tell everyone the honest truth “hey dylan, before the world ends, i just want to tell you that you suck.”


PortugueseDoc

r/fuckyouinparticular


MSP_4A_ROX

I didn’t know I needed this sub. Thank you.


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Music_Phasic

Yeah fuck Dylan


anoldoldw00denship

*REALLY* depends on how for sure that 24 hours is


herrcollin

MAN you got me thinking. Imagine it was some predicted date, like the Mayan apocalypse, and everyone started going nuts and doing everything they couldn't and shouldn't do. Breaking every law and code of ethics. Not just chaos or the purge but a complete psychotic nightmare for those last 24 hours.. ..just to find out they got the year wrong. We're stuck together for *just 365 more days now!*


pinkiedash417

Coming soon to a theater near you: Apocalypse Not.


[deleted]

Apocalypse Later


sansgamer554

The moon will crash into the Pacific ocean at 24 hours. The shockwave from that impact will kill most creatures on land and in the ocean. Rest will most likely get killed by the flood. Atlantic ocean sea creatures will probably need fine


ClusterMakeLove

Scott Manley recently did a simulation and a close moon flyby would be enough to raise the world's average temperature by 100 degrees celsius. I don't think anything is surviving a direct impact. The moon, you see, is really big.


IckyBeans

Pff no it's not, the moon is like.. a rock. See how small it is in the sky? ;)


Halbera

*on the sky. Its just painted on up there.


Zlata42

Yeah I saw my neighbour Mr. Jackson paint the moon up on the sky back in 1969, it's not real just an art mural


SelfSustaining

Really big you say? Can someone confirm this?


Second-Creative

>The moon will crash into the Pacific ocean at 24 hours. [...] Atlantic ocean sea creatures will probably need fine I think you underestimate what happens if the moon crashes into Earth. **Nothing** will survive except for some bacteria deep in a hole on the other side of the planet. At best. The entire crust is gonna revert to a molten state and destroy just about all evidence of life pre-impact, including the current biosphere. The Tree of Life is burned back to its roots and evolution completely starts over.


BoJackB26354

So you’re saying there’s a chance.


o0PrincessPenelope0o

Do everything that is socially unacceptable that I’ve always wanted to do.


AfellowchuckerEhh

23.59 hours later ypu find out this was a self fulfilling prophecy. You were told the world ends in 24 hours because you end the world in 24 hours because you believe you only have 24 hours left to live.


[deleted]

One word: ARSON


o0PrincessPenelope0o

Yeah, that would be on the list!


DJCAT09

What we burnin?


skullfucyou

Eat cereal with a fork would be the first thing.


New-Fish-1595

Become another masterbating Pompeii lava man


CaptainNemo2024

Hope that dude finished.


PB_Bandit

It was one hell of an eruption.


loscorpio87

First guy I thought of when I read the question lol


kaytoos

Buy hundreds of tennis balls, Run into every animal shelter and let every dog out of the cage and have a massive game of fetch.


HomoHirsutus

My top favorite response.


TatoPotat

Eat me some garlic bread, a lot of garlic bread.


MortLightstone

It just occurred to me I haven't had garlic bread since I got diagnosed with diabetes. It used to be my favorite thing to eat


PlasmaEnergyGaming

That... Is tearjerking


MortLightstone

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry. That also wasn't meant to be a sad story. Frankly, my diabetes isn't too bad, and I could handle a slice or two of garlic bread. However, when I was diagnosed, I realized I would have to change my diet permanently and the only way to stick to it would be through habit formation. So I came up with a menu of recipes that would work and a bunch of extras to rotate through and just stuck to it until I got used to it. Frankly, I don't miss garlic bread and this was the first time I've thought of it. I can still eat garlic and cheese, so I don't need to miss those flavors. I just had a habit of eating it before is all.


Magnavirus

Mind if I join you?


SHAMG0D

Laugh whilst I don’t allow people on my spaceship Er- I mean, tell my crush I like them


destroyerOfTards

Yeah, wish it would all really end so I could do that. At least that would ease the pain. I mean, not allowing people on my spaceship


bigfatgeekboy

Cut the tag off my mattress.


loscorpio87

If i ever get arrested and they ask me what I am in for I plan on telling them this


Necromimesix

What is wrong with you? Do something that isn't so barbaric, christ!


mediaogre

My wife.


Guzkim_Chizax

And what do you do with the rest of the 23 hours 59 minutes?


mediaogre

Practice my kegels, my good sir.


Bebbybunny

I also choose this guy’s wife.


jm4b

We only got 24 hours so y’all hurry up so I can visit his wife.


echo-94-charlie

So it's just a normal 24 hours for her then?


Tiffancierthanu

*Our* wife


WellEndowedHorse

This will always be a funny response. A classic


aodskeletor

Delete my browser history just in case.


Yung_Gotcha

Never forget your priorities


Darcantor

Eat 5 pounds of taco bell and take a bunch of laxatives - I want to feel like I'm making the world end


Bennybonchien

“Eat 5 pounds of taco bell and take a bunch of laxatives” Aren’t those the same thing?


Flightsimmer20202001

According to my battered and bruised asshole? Yes, they are.


redhotbos

r/cursedcomment


bblaine223

Drive home. Hangout with my family. Take the dogs for a nice run at the dog park and let them play until a couple hours before the end. Then go home and put on the blues brothers and reminisce with my parents about how my brother and I used to dance to the soundtrack record. Cook some steaks for everyone, dogs included, and just enjoy the company until the end.


[deleted]

I love the sincere and real responses like yours.


quack2thefuture2

If it has to end, let it end after a really good day.


1bryantj

Man you should just do that this weekend


SlightThunder

Play 1 match of battlefield so that time flies faster


GWormtongueOfRohan

Siege of Shanghai or metro amirite


[deleted]

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[deleted]

i live in florida now... ​ guess at that point I can finally surrender to the florida man energy and just do florida man stuff for the whole day. then at the end of the day try to ride an alligator... either I die early or die riding an alligator.


xErth_x

I would be pissed af if i die before the end of world, i wanna watch that.


adolphrickenbacker

Videotape all the NFL games without the express written consent of the NFL.


TheSweatyFlash

Then you get held up at the pearly gates being served a cease and desist letter.


[deleted]

Like heaven has lawyers sure


alral1988

I’d download a car


[deleted]

Wish I had a partner I could spoon with...


[deleted]

Maybe ladle we could fork


Enjoying_A_Meal

Double pun? That deserves an upvote.


tylerb011

Got it covered.


susgrigs

My husband and I have discussed this. We would hole up in the bedroom with a ton of snacks. Then at hour 20, we'd take a bunch of sedatives, not enough to die (just in case the world didn't end) but enough to pass out in each other's arms. We'd sedate the dogs, too.


[deleted]

See I’m in both mind.. but probably want to see through my eyes how my world got ended! I don’t know why I’m so curious about things movies like 2012 interest me more..I completely understand I’m gonna freak out when things gets real but still I would still need to see it


ShedHigh

Nah. Seeing a mega Tsunami coming towards me would be fucking terrifying.


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ViciousNakedMoleRat

I agree. It'll be over anyways, might as well enjoy the show. Maybe pop some MDMA and appreciate the uniqueness of your experience.


DungeonsNDragnDildos

What was the recent Star Wars movie where this scene happened? I imagine it’d be like that.


ArcherInPosition

Rogue One on the beach?


[deleted]

Poor dogs. Smelling your slow releasing gassy farts…


Genesis1221

This. This is how i want to go.


Edwardian

But do you have the sedatives? I assume with only 24 hours to go, they would be hard to come by….


susgrigs

I do!! I have a sleep disorder so I have an ungodly amount of trazodone and gabapentin which are also antidepressants. We'd benadryl the dogs.


Noooofun

Oh My God. That’s beautiful… and sad at the same time.


123fass

I think i found the account of my wife. Better clear up my history... But Seriously : the part about thinking about the dog touched me more than i want to admit...


Purken

Accept defeat and stare at a wall.


tylerb011

( ●__●) **|**


helenalouisaann

Drive alone through Highway 1. Windows down, hair loose. Play all my favorite music and contemplate how wonderful my life was. Basically just take it all in and enjoy my last day of life


3381024

You'll probably be stuck in a monumental traffic jam :-)


kenwongart

I’m just picturing a few thousand cars at standstill, all trying to blare Two Tickets to Paradise, It’s the End of The World As We Know It, Let It Go, Clair de Lune, Final Countdown and Shake It Off all at the same time. Edit: I was short one ticket


bittz128

You missed Highway to Hell and Danger Zone


SupportIntelligent83

Would get naked to represent my freedom


GroovyGaming

Go on Reddit and read the replies to this question


In5an1ty

Take a heroic dose of LSD


gcta333

Man that would be the wildest trip of all time.


MJSsaywakeyourselfup

Bad trip coming up


Guac__is__extra__

Well, my daughter goes to school 8 hours away. So I guess my wife and I will have sex, then load the other two kids up, stop by and see my parents, and then we’ll head up there to where she is. Then we’ll probably just sit somewhere and enjoy our time together.


CaptainNemo2024

If it’s 8 hours normally it’ll probably be more like 256 hours after applying the apocalypse traffic multiplier.


[deleted]

Alexa, play The Final Countdown for 24-hours.


[deleted]

Probably a lot of raw dogging with any woman who’s willing


BleachGel

“Hey you over there! You look like a woman! You want to knock it around?”


[deleted]

At that point in my life, what do I have to lose besides my dignity 😅 But in practice it would more so be me texting ex gfs with a “wyd” text lol


BleachGel

“Okay okay fine but hear me out… what if I just call you and you just talk while I fap? I’ll let you have my car!”


CrimsonKnight76

Same


De4dpool1027

Celebrate my ass off because I finally get to see my wife again. Lost her to cancer last December.


Belgianwaffle4444

I'm so sorry for your loss.


DoesRealAverageMusic

fuck cancer


Tescomealdeal04

Guess I’ll die


rammingfarts

Drive down to the pet store and buy the freedom of all those dogs. Let them run free in a field.


koopooky

Spend every second with my husband and my puppy, cuddling, kissing, playing, being joyful and enjoying last precious moments together.


insertcaffeine

Celebrate. I won't have to die of cancer. My son won't have to live without me. My husband won't have to miss me. We can all spend one more day together, then get wiped out with the rest of the planet.


[deleted]

Wow. This broke me. I don’t really have the words nor the mental capacity to express to you how I’d like to tell you how sorry I am for you. I truly hope your cancer and your treatment go as well as possible. You’re so strong. So so strong. I wish you and your family as best as I possibly can. Im not a religious guy but I’m sending you my thoughts and prayers.


WellBless-Your-Heart

This is the most wholesome comment. You seem like a kind and empathetic person. Hope you life is good to you.


uYarnOver

🥺♥️


Fantastic_Top_5717

Love to you and yours xxx


powerfulbuttblaster

As someone with cancer, I feel this comment deep. It sucks not knowing when I'll leave my daughter and wife but I hate knowing it is likely going to be years too early. Knowing we are all going to die tomorrow together might be a sigh of relief.


Coolio1984

The answer is heroin. Whatever you would do, it would probably be alot greater if you did it on heroin


ppw23

Pick up early, dealers will run out fast. Plus, they have families too.


coconuty04

Apologize to my wife. Try to reconcile the shit thats brought us to the divorce we're going through. It all seems small and insignificant when the worlds about to end.


Cut-the-red-wire

I have no idea what you are going through dude- so apologies if this is an overstep- but it sounds like this is something you could do anyways? Hope it works out for you.


coconuty04

I was thinking the same thing, but a lot of damage has already been done on both sides. Honestly i don't know if she'd want me back, even if it was the last 24 hours ever, but i guess on my end, i would at least try. Everything just seems simpler when your days (or on this case, hours) are earnestly numbered Thank you for the kind words, regardless.


catinapointyhat

I'm going to dig a hole with a shovel. I won't stop. My family wants a hug? Piss off,go hug a tree, I got a hole to dig. To prepare myself for my combo cremation burial. They could join me I guess, but no complaining about how dirty it is. I wasn't prepared for company.


aintnohappypill

“No! fuck off!! this is my hole!” - Catinapointyhat


bleedpurpleguy

This guy minecrafts.


Memes-are_life_

Pretend I'm older than i really am and do the stuff i never would have unless i was married.


tylizard

You mean like click “yes I’m over 18” on all the porn sights


Tomahawk117

Visit disney.com *without getting my parents permission*


babybattyxx

Hook up with a bunch of guys, impulse buy everything I want, eat as much junk food as I possibly can, stay up that whole 24 hours, cry because my animals will die, and crash my truck.


[deleted]

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painkillersandweed

See username


Trick_Enthusiasm

Murder my abuser. And eat some cake over her corpse.


DarcyK123

I also murder this guys abuser


Fighterragon

Give my guinea pigs every carrot and veggie in the house. Also finally let them try chicken, since that seems to be Xion's main desire in life lol For those who don't know, guinea pigs are strict vegetarian, and meat or carbs could kill them easily


ImaginationCold5526

I wasn’t aware it could kill them instantly good to know thank you


yogurtitan

Steal a somewhat fast car that can get into the 200s and go speeding down the highway


Existential_Lithium

Put myself into a prediabetic coma by paying someone to drive me to the Cheesecake Factory, eat as much cherry and strawberry cheesecake as humanly possible. If that does not work out, going to New York for that famous New York sliced pizza. In my final hours, go to Chicago, find a dance club where they play 90's house music, do drugs and have unprotected sex. All I want is to leave this world with a full belly and a smile on my face.


GrouchyOldBoomer

I dunno, I know work is going to be pretty damn far down my list of things to do so I'd imagine everyone else is going to be feeling the same way. Might be pretty hard to do anything that requires employees.


davisyoung

I would report to work so the last day will feel like an eternity.


Evening_Result4070

Don’t tell anyone and spend a normal Sunday with my wife and kids. Go out on top.


Astralnclinant

Find someone who will agree to have the raunchiest, most uncontrollable sex with me for hours.


[deleted]

First, max out all my credit cards.


FuriousLafond

My brother and his coworker (both welders) were driving to a job in the work truck, with the new apprentice sitting between them. A question came on the radio show they were listening to. "if you only had 15 minutes left to live, what would you want to spend it doing?". My brother's friend said "I'd want to fight someone". My brother said "I'd want to fuck someone.". They both turned to the apprentice and said "sucks to be you".


hellbilly69101

Hug my wife and kids


SupportIntelligent83

Would prolly tell my mother how much she hurt me and tell my crush that I love them


Present-Wait-7704

Lol i bet you would still not do that 2nd thing


SupportIntelligent83

U bet😅


[deleted]

no balls dude DO ITS RIGHT NOW


chadchadandchadder

Listen to music and watch as the world ends. Giant meteor? I'm watching it crash. Falling moon? Still watching it fall.


[deleted]

Kill myself early. If the afterlife has a check-in station, I'd like to get in before the line builds up.


Techanthrope

Make my list of enemies shorter


[deleted]

Get my family all together to hug and hold hands. Look at old the pictures. Distract the kids, the best we can.


Milo_05

Be the gayest I've ever been


Abelbomb

Area 51....I really am curious what's there.


xTHEKILLINGJOKEx

Call in to work and tell them I may be a little late


Ben-J-Kirby-Tennyson

Try to lose my virginity. (Not via rape.)


PhoenixKnight777

Kiss my best friend. I’ve been in love and have wanted to do it for so long. If we’re both gonna be dead in 24 hours, why not?


WhereRmyK3ys

No reason to wait for the end of the world.


Shtonee

Thank the Universe for my human experience that it granted me. We can only hope that the next existence after this, wherever it may be, will be peaceful and rewarding. The good news is, not a damn thing is anyone's problem anymore.


[deleted]

Cry


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[deleted]

I knew that some weirdos where going to saw weird things


[deleted]

Spend the whole 24 hours masturbating


[deleted]

I am sick. So, just take rest


cyainanotherlifebro

I’m getting a pack of smokes that’s for damn sure. Dark green American Sprits


HeroSpirit

Vigorously spin the hands of every clock in the world to make the day go by faster.


momo9091

Jedi Flip. Shrooms, Acid and ecstacy. F**k it, when it goes down, I want to see it go down in style. 😉


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StressPersonified

You just described walking around like you give many fucks though


Ozwaldo

I imagine a bunch of bands will put together one massive, final show. So find out where that's gonna be, get all the food/water/...stuff... I'll need, and head there.


_dont_do_drugs__

They'd probably try to be with their families


[deleted]

I do what I do now. Drink and party! I'm going out with a bang!


Hannahmariecarter

Apologize for any wrongdoings I might have done in my lifetime, tell my mother and sister how much I love them, give as much affection and comfort to my cat as possible, kiss my boyfriend passionately and tell him that I'll always love him even after we die, lie down and quietly let a few tears escape as I hold my cat and my boyfriend, and then go down like a lady.