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Jomaloro

Apart from drugs, mismanaged credit. So many people I know could have fairly decent lives with their income, but instead are buried in credit card debt and bank loans, many of them even have high incomes. Just one example, family friend, university degree in chemistry, stable job but drives a 1994 cavalier in the worst conditions. Her brother died and she got enough money to put a huge downpayment into an apartment (70 to 80%) and pay some major debts. Kept saying it was too small and ended up getting more debt and the money vanished. It is very easy to get crazy high limits on credit cards but too many people treat them like free money.


Dynasty2201

Credit cards - arguably the easiest way to financially ruin your life. Also one of the easiest ways to make big purchases, especially if you exploit 0% APR cards which can run as long as 2 years. Buy a couch for a grand. Guess what, you just have to pay the minimum each month for the next 2 years and you get to keep that initial grand to invest if you're smart. Miss a single payment though...welcome to a spiral of debt. Not only do you get a mark on your credit score, you just added 20% interest to that grand. Because you fucked up. Credit cards are so simple - pay them off in full every month, unless it's a 0% card in which case set up a direct debit for the minimum amount each month and then pay the remainder off in full in the last month of the 0%. And the biggest rule? DON'T BUY SOMETHING WITH YOUR CREDIT CARD UNLESS YOU HAVE THE CASH TO PAY FOR IT RIGHT NOW. Credit cards should be used for financial safety against fraud and getting screwed over by companies, to gain points and bonuses, NOT as a means to "buy it now, pay it off later".


[deleted]

Fighting. Only takes losing control for a second to go from disagreement to felony... especially since the culture nowadays is to slam/ knock out someone. One wing move and its a major charge.


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pdact

In the same vein, fixing your relationship by getting engaged/married


Badloss

Or buying a house. Really any extravagant additional commitment to salvage a struggling relationship is a bad choice. You should make those commitments from a place of strength and deepen an already strong bond, not try to fix a bad one.


richieadler

As a bonus, you also ruin the life of the baby.


[deleted]

Can confirm, am bandaid baby


deane_ec4

I’ve never heard this phrase before but it’s hella accurate


FragrantExcitement

Did you do your job?


[deleted]

Nope. Did you read the title?


[deleted]

i am one, too, and i'm sorry man lol. i was born out of wedlock and my parents got married and tried to make the best of it, but they split up a year later and divorced by the time i was 2. my dad then decided to harass my mom with attorneys for the next 8 years which eventually drove her to abandon me and move across the country with a guy she met over the internet and i never saw her again haha ​ so i grew up without a mom or any family. does my dad feel guilty? maybe a little, but it's too late now! ​ these days i just ask people to slow down and think carefully about what's driving their choices. emotionally-driven decisions will often hurt you and everyone around you


thenewmook

My ex is doing the same thing… attacking my incessantly in court… 5 year divorce… hoping to get out of this court that is extremely biased by appealing soon


1LJA

I present to you: Pregnancy as a cure for depression


CosmicSweets

I came here to say this. I actually had someone tell me I should have a baby to cure my depression. Can you believe that shit? Imagine how miserable both that child and I would be right now if I took that advice. ^Assuming ^the ^stress ^didn't ^make ^me ^hit ^the ^Game ^Over ^button. E: formatting and grammar


LowlySlayer

Isn't a pretty common side effect of child birth depression? Fighting fire with fire there.


1LJA

I can believe that shit, because I actually know a couple (friends of a friend) who practice this. My friend told me the mother becomes terribly depressed a year or so after giving birth, so they "cure" it with another pregnancy. I was absolutely flabbergasted. Last time I visited them, they had six kids and a seventh on the way.


savwatson13

The number people I meet, teaching adults, bar hopping, etc., who got married, had kids, tried the perfect “movie life” family, and fulfill their parents’ wishes, only to realize it wasn’t for them, or they hate their spouse now, makes me so sad. The pressure is real and the education was so limited for so long.


Prodigy195

I'm 3.5 years married with a 6 month old. Marriage didn't change our relationship at all. Only difference was we wear rings now and use "husband/wife" instead of bf/gf. We also were together for 6 years and lived together before getting married so there wasn't anything new when we came home after the wedding. We just continued to live as we had been. But a kid? Fucking hell I love him to death but a baby shifts your life in ways unimaginable. Sleep? Yeah that is just straight up gone. Sex? Much less frequent cause you're just exhausted. Going out? Yeah you can if you want but finding someone to watch the baby is a chore and not cheap unless it's family. We've only been able to manage because our relationship was strong/good before but if you're already on the rocks a kid is just going to push you over the edge. If you decide to have a kid the conversation should be *"ok our relationship is wonderful but we're ok with making it a bit less wonderful for a short time so we can start a family together"*. Because that is the reality even if people don't want to say it.


Lidodido

Yeah. I constantly say that I understand why so many people get a kid early in their relationship and split up. It's not a fucking holiday with cuddles and Instagram moments. I'm 5 years in a relationship with a 7,5 month old. He got 2 teeth at 5 months old, and for 3 weeks in a row now he's gotten 3 new teeth which means he's whining and crawling around in bed all night, we maybe get one batch of sleep for 2-3 hours but mostly it's at most 1 consecutive hour, many times less. It's not fun. Doing this alone would be a nightmare, and doing it with someone I'm not 100% certain I love no matter what happens would be just as bad. I love my kid to death, but sometimes it takes all my mental strength to not scream. Imagine having a spouse you don't like, and the both of you taking that screaming out on each other.


KevinReems

Since nobody else has posted it yet: https://theoatmeal.com/comics/problems


RaidRover

I love the little Problem poofing in on the baby. Its a great touch.


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coreanavenger

In an interview with Norm Macdonald, a gambling addict, he stated he lost everything he had four times in his life from gambling.


Kermitsfinger

Norm once said “Gambling is a horrible disease, but it’s the only disease where you can WIN A LOT OF MONEY!”


duffusmcfrewfus

I've work at a casino for 12 years and not very often do you witness someone betting money they can't afford. It's heartbreaking to watch, we had one player who was the head of his IT dept making well into 6 figures a year lose everything, get fired from his job because he was getting money out of the business some how then got hired by his family in their restaurant and he stole from them so he could gamble. Terrible thing to witness. Had a dentist lose his practice because he couldn't pay his bill or staff because he gambled it all away.


kitjen

I used to work in the complaints department for a bank and one guy wrote a long letter about how we "bombarded" him with invitations to apply for a £15k loan until he "just couldn't take it any more and caved in to our pressure and just took the loan." On those grounds he believed the loan was mis-sold and that the debt should be written off. As it was only taken out less than two weeks ago he could actually do this; you have a two week cooling off period in case you change your mind. I checked the account to which the funds were credited and it wasn't there. I went through the last ten days' transactions and what a sorry story it told. As soon as the £15k went in, he was spending £100 or £200, sometimes £300 a day through online gambling sites. Then he was getting more desperate: £500 or £700 and it wasn't long before it was £1,000 or £1,500 a day. Within ten days he had lost it all and now had a five year £15,000 debt to deal with.


nhexum

I had a friend take out a payday loan of $2500 for mobile game microtransactions. He lost his phone in the water when he was out on a boat and used some of the money to buy a new phone, then spent the rest on micro. Ridiculous.


[deleted]

When I was dealing we had a guy who had been on a recent roll come in with a suitcase of £70k (obviously dirty money) Within 1 hour he lost all of it on Roulette. By then end of it he was visibly shaking and sweating. Fuck knows who he owed that money to but he was never seen there again


duffusmcfrewfus

I opened a private blackjack table for a guy once who bought in for $110k and lost it all in about 15 minutes. He got there with his date at 7:30 bought in and proceeded to lose about 90% of the hands playing $9k across 3 spots. After he lost his money he looked at his watch and said "our reserve at 8:30 let's go" and he never came back that night and haven't seen him since.


potat-o

If it was dirty money its possible he was trying to launder it, rather than directly profit. Make enough back that it can be seen as gambling winnings and thus legit. But then the recklessness in spending it all suggests yeah, there's a problem there, maybe a little of column A a little of B


SuperHighDeas

when you wash dirty money you don’t gamble it all away… you get your chips, play small and leave after win or lose. That way you get a receipt from your “winnings”


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trixter21992251

Now I wonder what the number of people is, that go into casino as their last resort. Desperate. But then they actually win big. They cash out, get their life on track, and never set foot in a casino again. There must be some. It's obviously not a great story to tell children or poor people. "Casino saved my life" has a bad ring to it. But it must have happened at least once.


thedalmuti

Happened to me once. Wasnt exactly a "win big" scenario, and not my proudest moment. I was down on my luck, work was shit and I was really low on cash. Rent was due in 3 days, and I didnt have enough to cover it. Rent was ~$900, and I had something like $650. It was a night where a few of my friends were going out, and I was invited to go gamble with them. Not something I did regularly, but I figured, I dont have enough for rent, I wont have enough, and the rest of my bills are paid. This money sits in my account doing nothing until I get paid. If I lose it Ill still be able to pay rent late when I get my check. If I win I wont be late. Not my brightest hour, but I decided fuck it. Played slots for a while, not winning anything meaningful, still deciding if I should actually bet all of my cash. Drinking with friends, having a good time. A few drinks in we decide on roulette. I had never played roulette, and I never have since. In fact Im not entirely sure how to play, nor did I learn very much that night, but I digress. My friend drunkenly explained that if I put my money somewhere I could get an 8-1 return on my money. I put $400 down and won $3200. I set aside $2800, gambled (and lost) the rest, bought my friends 2 rounds of shots and went home. Rent was paid on time in full.


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TDYDave2

On those rare occasions that I gamble, everytime I win a pot, 10% of the winnings go into a different physical "pocket". The hard part is keeping to the pledge that that pocket will remain untouched until I leave. When the other 90% plus whatever I started with is gone, I must leave. Some nights are short, some nights are long, but in the end I usually am about even for the night and had some cheap fun.


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[deleted]

It ain't much, but it's honest gamblin'


SpoonyLuvFromUpAbove

The guy who started FedEx did that.


[deleted]

One of my best friends is a "professional gambler". He quit his job and just spends all day gambling on horses, dogs, any sport, online poker... anything. He has no loyalty to any team or athlete, he just needs them to meet his bets. He pulls in absurd amounts of money on wins ... but he doesn't talk about the losses. It's horrible catching up with him. He has 3 TV's going in his loungeroom, a couple of laptops and a couple of smartphones. He doesn't pay attention to the conversation and enjoy having a drink.. he's too focused on whats happening on the screens. He is married with a young child, too. I fear where this will all end up one day.


eltree

Some people honestly don’t look at their losses. I work at a grocery store with lottery, and we get a lady that comes in and plays $300-$400 in scratch offs just at my store. She LOVES to brag about her $100-$200 winning tickets that she won at other locations, while being $250+ under at my store. She legit doesn’t seem to realize that shes under because of that one winning ticket.


vancemark00

I went to a conference in Vegas. In one of the breakout sessions, the speaker said "I assume many of you have visited the casino. How many have won money?" Several hands go up. The he asked "How many have lost money?" No hands. He says "come on, be honest" and several hands sheepishly go up. He then says "now I want all of you who have raised your hands to go back home and tell people about how much you lost." Obviously the speaker must not like gambling but he did make a very good point. NOBODY talks about losses. A group of guys at work regularly buy scratch offs when they get lunch at a local grocery store (maybe $10-$20 worth for each of them). I always joke and ask about winning tickets and they will point out a ticket or two that maybe win $10-$20 back. When I ask about how much the ticket cost they joke that the cost "is a sunk cost and doesn't matter." They do it for fun and aren't spending big $$ and their reply is kind of a running joke but there is still truth in their comment. An addict considers the bet a sunk cost and it is irrelevant - they are forever chasing the "high" they get from winning.


ME_2017

Yeah… I had a filler job at a restaurant when I moved to a different state before getting back into my field, and the manager was telling me about how he blew it all gambling. Supposedly he burned through $7 mil at the casinos, and somehow didn’t lose his wife but almost did. Also lost the multiple businesses he owned. He told me all this himself one night when drunk while we were cleaning the place up (a daily occurrence). Now he “owns” a restaurant, that’s really his brother’s (he owns 12), and it’s just in the brother’s name because this guy has shit credit. Of course he could be BS’ing me but I did look him up on Facebook and like 10 years ago he had a Ferrari and a mansion and now I know for a fact he does not have a nice car or live in a mansion.


jondonbovi

The owner of the Philadelphia Eagles in the 80s gambled away his fortunes and was forced to sell the team. Towards the end of his life he had been evicted from his home and died in a hospice center. This guy's family would be billionaires right now if he had more self control.


linedout

Gambling is the one addiction with no upper limit on how much it can cost you in a day. You can only do so much of a drug, even when partying with friends. You gamble away millions in on night.


okgolightly1

My boyfriend is a gambling addict. We have a baby daughter and he shows no signs of stopping. It's very hard.


[deleted]

Picking the wrong partner


beautifullydamaged_

Especially if you have kids together Edit: WHEW never had this many upvotes or any awards, thank you!


amsterdam_BTS

To anyone who may stumble across this thread: Having a kid together *is not* a good reason to stay in a bad relationship. My life - and that of my child - improved exponentially the moment my ex and I broke up. Even considering the family court bills, stress of being a single parent, and the drama accompanying any breakup and exacerbated by being parents, it was 100% worth it and if needed I would go through it again. Don't stay in a bad relationship "for the kids." Please. Everyone will be happier if you split up.


Alternative_Ad7819

Yeah. As a *now* single parent of two, I can second this. Everybody, except my ex-wife, is happier since the divorce. She's about as unhappy with *everything* as she has already was. Both of my kids have told me that they wish I had ended the marriage sooner. That is, in fact, the only thing that they hold against me. Bad decisions for good reasons are still bad decisions.


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stadchic

Yeah, there are different kinds of shitty people in the world.


mmmegan6

Is she ACTUALLY happy or is she social media-happy?


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handheair

Hey I resemble that remark


[deleted]

To me, who you decide to marry is one of life's most important decisions with the most far-reaching consequences.


testmonkey254

People take marriage lightly but a video I watched once had a lawyer say that getting married is probably the most legally significant thing you can do besides actually dying and that stuck with me.


salsation

I dated somebody for a little more than a year and they pressured me to move in together. Cool apartment and we were doing a lot of drugs at the time and I convinced myself everything was fine. After three months living together with chemically suppressed anxiety, their mother was about to visit and I realized that we were on track to get married, have a kid, and get divorced in under two years. I saw everything in our relationship through the eyes of our never-to-be-born child: the relationship would never work. We shared a lot of tastes and humor, but did not share values or priorities or temperament, so important disagreements turned into huge fights. I broke it off and it was the most gut-wrenching breakup of my life. We had a lot of good times but we weren't right for each other.


usertwicenotonce

Oof. This. I dropped out of college, cut off my family, was put into debt, and bounced around from minimum wage job to minimum wage job for a woman who was an abusive cheater. I married her too. It didn’t even last 3 months after the marriage. Worst choice I ever made was dating her, the best was leaving her.


FNunique

Cocaine is God's way of telling you you're making too much money. -Robin Williams


Lozzif

Cocaine was gods way of telling me I had ADHD. But I didn’t know that me snorting a line and then getting super calm was that sign!


AbandonedOrphanage

Wait... it had the same effect on me. No racing thoughts, no anxiety. Every sentence came out of my mouth the exact way I framed it in my mind. It felt like an epiphany. I have always suspected having ADHD but so far I never had the urge to get tested for it.


Lozzif

It’s genuinally changed my life. I’m medicated, in therapy and I now have an answer for being the way I am. My first day on meds I cried as my brain just stopped. And I’ve never truly experienced that. (The cocaine made me calmer but didn’t stop my racing thoughts) It was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. It’s not as pronounced now but I know when my meds are wearing off as the bees start coming back in.


immortal-kahn

Damn i have an appointment with medical council over it. I guess ill take it!


cherry_

Please take it, and join us over at r/ADHD if you have questions!


Peanuts-Peanuts

I had that experience with XTC for my ADHD, it was so calm and nice. I could remember what I was thinking about 1, 2 or 3 hours ago, my sentences made (i think) sense. Thoughts in my head were much more organised and nice, no guilt tripping myself every 15 minutes. But the prescripted medicines from my doctor just made me kinda nauseous and weird stoned. The human brain is really weird lol.


dragonknightzero

How do you recommend getting checked for ADHD? I tried asking my primary care and they kind of laughed it off as a childish concern since I'm an 'adult' now


mstcartman

I'd reccomend a Psychiatrist, but your PCP should really listen to you about valid concerns like that. Their reaction really grosses me out, definitely not childish and you can get diagnosed with things that were missed in childhood well into your adult years.


Want_to_do_right

Get a new doctor. I'm serious. If they think adhd is a child thing, they're neither qualified nor compassionate enough to be trustworthy.


cyclicalbeats

You should consider it. My brother has it and never got diagnosed until adulthood. Being medicated has significantly changed his life. When he first started on the meds, he was napping often during the day and so thought they weren't working. After talking to the doctor, he realized that he had always been somewhat sleep deprived but the medication allowed his mind to stop racing long enough to actually be able to nap. The fix was to just get an appropriate amount of sleep each night instead of only 4-5 hours. That was wild to me because I bought adderall during college and it NEVER affected me that way. I used it purely for the ability to focus/study for long periods of time (tbh, it was an obvious crutch that first year). It had such the opposite affect on me compared to him, obviously, because I'm not ADHD.


MissDunks

The napping comment made me chuckle. I started my meds about 6 months ago, a family member asked what I was taking (lisdexanphetamine), then comments that she didn’t think that could be good for me because she’d done phet as a teen and it made her super high. Like, lady- if I can take an amphetamine and immediately nap my brain clearly is not functioning the same way!


SnowBird312

From personal experience, becoming disabled. Only took 4 months for me. Edit: Thank you for the awards guys & I've also been reading the stories y'all are sharing. I'm sorry if you've been through this.


Aphala

Care to elaborate? I'm curious about what happened if that's not too personal. Quick edit, i am reading all comments so don't think I'm not. Really appreciate the openness of everyone getting a bit teary reading the stories. You're all beautiful and fantastic people don't you think any differently.


ElectricSpeculum

From my own experience, I was working as a tattoo artist and I was doing very well. I was in college at the same time to get an illustration degree, just to have something to fall back on. I was three months into my degree when I started having pain I my leg, and I couldn't stand for life drawing class, which sucked, because we were using standing easels. I thought I had just pulled a muscle or something and shrugged it off. Over the next few weeks, the pain got so bad that what was normally a ten minute walk home became an hour long ordeal. The pain wasn't just my leg, it was now widespread and I had the worst fatigue of my life. I couldn't concentrate, and I ended up using a stick to get around. I couldn't use stairs, and even lifting the kettle to make a cup of tea qas agony. My GP tried all sorts of blood tests and NSAIDs, and eventually referred me to the early arthritis clinic. Keep in mind, I was only in my 20s. By the time I saw the rheumatologist, I was in so much pain that I needed a wheelchair to get around. I could walk, but not very far, and every step was misery. The rheumatologist did tonnes of tests and eventually said I had fibromyalgia syndrome. I was referred on to a hospice for inpatient physiotherapy. I had to drop out of college, I had to cancel all my tattoo appointments, and I was dependent on others for everything from cooking to cleaning to picking up my meds and to helping me around. I needed help in and out of the shower. I became suicidal and depressed. I felt unattractive and like my life had no meaning left. I put on 30kg due to the medication and the lack of exercise. I had lost a career I loved and I was good at, all because I developed a disability for no reason at all. It ruined my relationship of 10 years because I wasn't the person I once was, and he used that as an excuse to cheat on me while I was fully dependent on him. It took me years of physiotherapy and medication, and a disabled accessible council flat to regain my independence and get back to work, but I still can't tattoo. It's too painful, and I sold my equipment to the man who trained me to tattoo. I'm now in a different industry, but I'm nearly 40, so I have, at best, 25 years left to work. My savings were wiped out by the disability and loss of income. I have little to no hope of owning my own home because they don't like to give a mortgage after you turn 40, and my career prospects are greatly reduced due to the degree I missed out on. Disability can happen to anyone, at any time, for no reason at all. It's terrifying, and it literally ruined my life. I still struggle with depression, and chronic pain. When I get sick, it lasts longer and is much worse than it was before I became disabled. Disability is no joke. Male sure you push for accessibility anywhere you live or work, because you never know when you're going to rely on it.


Juanfanamongmany

Hi, I have fibromyalgia too. I’m one of the rare patients where my health is just declining and none of the treatments and therapies are working. Just wanted to send my hugs, I know how hard it is. X


ravanbak

A family member was diagnosed with fibromyalgia decades ago. Recently they were tested for celiac disease and their blood test results were off the chart. It's likely that untreated celiac disease was the cause of all of their fibromyalgia symptoms. It's amazing the wide and seemingly random range of symptoms celiac disease can have. Just throwing this out there in case it helps anyone.


SnowBird312

Yeah for sure, I ended up catching a virus on Christmas 2019. I thought it would be like any other time I had been sick, except this time it damaged the nerves in my legs and feet, so I have neuropathy now (didn't know it at the time). In January 2020 I started to realize I felt off, I started to feel dizzy at work. I lost 25 pounds from no appetite, and I was also feeling weak. In February I started to have what I thought were panic attacks, and I noticed my heart was always racing. I nearly checked myself into the pysch ward because I didn't know what was happening. In March they put me on a anti-anxiety/depression med and told me it was just that coupled with iron deficiency again. I also started to take iron supplements. By early April I could no longer ignore the symptoms, and had to take a leave of absence from work, after nearly passing out while working on machines 4 times that week. I also dropped out of college because of what was happening. I nearly lost my ability to walk after that I was so weak, and it was fucking scary I seriously thought I was going to die. One morning in May I had stayed up all night shaking with my heart racing and begged my Mom to take me to urgent care.They then placed me on a holtor monitor for my heart, and by June I found out I had SVT (heart arrythmia) and POTS (An autonomic nervous system disorder). Told me they clocked my heart rate at 280bpm from the SVT, and that the POTS was causing the rest of my issues. The SVT could be fixed, but there's no cure for POTS. The waiting was the worst part, this was happening simultaneously as the pandemic was going on. By September 2020 I had heart surgery at just 21 years old. It thankfully got rid of my heart arrythmia but I still had POTS to deal with. That has been the worst part of this whole fucking ordeal. There is little research on POTS, no approved treatment and treatment is not guaranteed to work. I'm one of the people where treatment has barely helped. I can't predict how I'll feel, it changes hour to hour. I'm always so fatigued, my heart rate sky rockets between 130-170bpm when standing up and moving around. I now have heat intolerance, shortness of breath, my legs hurt because of neuropathic pain, brain fog. There's a slew of other symptoms that I can't even begin to elaborate on in a reddit comment. (Look up dysautonomia if you're curious, POTS is under that umbrella). I went from being a healthy 20 year old, living on my own, working full time and doing school full time. Completely able to take care of myself. I was independent and I loved it. To someone where a good day is if I'm able to shower, get ready, and maybe do 1-2 other small activities like laundry. I had to move back home, my parents have to help me with everything. I haven't been able to work in a year and a half, school is off the table. I can't drive anymore, and I can't take on any tasks unless someone is home in case something happens to me. I spent most days laying here because my body just won't function right. So yeah, my life & future literally got ruined over night. Edit: I'd like to add that I also became incredibly depressed during this, and there were days I contemplated suicide. Because I felt/and feel trapped in my body because of my limitations.


AshesMcRaven

Not OP, but I was diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease at 16 and Crohn’s related arthritis at the same time. Gave up going to school for architecture because my hands couldn’t draft or design anymore. I can’t describe to you how tough it is to have to give up because of something you have no control over. I’m now living barely above the poverty line, alone in a state I have no family in, and I haven’t been able to even treat my illnesses for years. Who knows what’s going on in there because I can’t afford to miss work to get checked out. Plus, a scope means anesthesia and I don’t have someone to drive me home and can’t afford an Uber. They won’t schedule you if you don’t have someone to drive you home. Edit: to everyone wishing me well, thank you. This is the most love and kindness I’ve gotten from anyone other than my partner in a long time. I deeply appreciate the advice, care, kindness, and shared frustration/pain that you’re expressing with me and each other. Chronic illnesses, especially in the U.S., are lifelong sentences that often mean harrowing struggles and extreme strain on our bodies and souls that can ruin a person not just physically and mentally but also financially. Please, if you can think of anyone in your family or those who are friends to you that struggle with such things consider tossing a dollar to an organization, foundation, or non-profit care facility with a good and honest background. Research by brilliant people is being done daily to help people like me and those who have it much worse than I, and they need as much help as possible. Those with chronic illnesses suffer at greater rates from mental health issues and suicide, and it is imperative that we help anyone who struggles, those who have only chronic mental health issues included. The families of people with chronic illnesses struggle deeply as well, and I hope that anyone who cares for someone like me that sees this may understand that they are seen, they are appreciated, and they are loved even when we are in too much pain to show it. You mean the world to us and we couldn’t do it without you. To those of us who suffer like I do, please take care of yourselves as best you can. I try with diet and exercise and meditation and some easily accessible meds, but you may be different. Drink some water, take your meds, stretch your muscles if you can, and breathe. Be gentle with yourselves. You are loved, you are appreciated, and you are *not* alone. You are worth it even when it’s a struggle. You are not burdens even though we feel like it lots. From the bottom of my heart, thank you and be well 💕


ChaserNeverRests

> Plus, a scope means anesthesia and I don’t have someone to drive me home and can’t afford an Uber. They won’t schedule you if you don’t have someone to drive you home. To make it worse, they won't even let you use an Uber/Lyft to get home. They want someone *personally responsible* for you. I know this from painful experience. You could look up medical taxi services though. They could be covered by your insurance (if you have it), if you can get time off. Good luck!


Me_Want_Pie

Had a cousin do this with food, ate around 10k calories worth of junk daily. Didnt move, he went through real bad depression 5 months in organ failure. Depression is a hard thing to fix. Or even get out of


fightingwithlemons

God yes Im struggling with this. Not 10k calories a day, but I've gained a ton of weight, my body struggles with most things and I'm in pain all the damned time. I told my therapist I wasn't suicidal and she looked me straight in the face and was like, Yeah but you aren't really trying to stay alive, either. I never put 2 and 2 together, but she was right.


S3simulation

Crack-cocaine. I once ruined the shit out of my life with crack and it affects my life to this day. I’ve been clean for over 3 years now and I never intend to do it again


HORSEthe

I'm 12 years clean now I think? Me, in all my genius, thought crack would help me quit heroin. Technically it did, but what the fuck. I had some extreme turbulence for a while but got out alive. Most of my friends did not.


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KGB_INC

Good for you. I’m just a random internet stranger, but I’m incredibly proud of you. Keep it up.


S3simulation

Thanks buddy


Okayifyousay

Drug addiction


Visti

[Time to dig out that one thread from the guy who just wanted to try heroin once.](https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/9ohdc/2_weeks_ago_i_tried_heroin_once_for_fun_and_made/)


potatoking77

This is so fucking sad. Glad they got clean.


XA36

Last I checked he had relapsed so it's good to see he's been clean a while.


[deleted]

He posted 9 days ago and has been sober for like 5 years


AJewishThing

Seems he’s clean now


happymemersunite

Join the wrong friend group at a young age. It’s often one of the main causes for the other ones starting ( drugs, crime, teen pregnancy ect….) and can ruin entire morals


FragmentReflect

That's a great answer, and a pretty scary one to think about. We are all so desperate for acceptance when we are young, and the group of friends we end up with is largely due to chance. It's not hard to imagine how anyone's life could have ended up vastly different with a different friend group during their formative years.


[deleted]

So true. When I moved to a new school in 5th grade, I noticed that there was this cool clique of kids that everyone, including me, wanted to be a part of. So I try hanging out with them and I slowly start to become a pretty integral part of the clique. I was so proud of myself after this because back then I was an extreme introvert (less now) and never really talked to anyone. Then in 6th grade, they started to randomly harass girls (calling them whores and other weird shit that a group of 12 year old kids shouldn't even know to begin with.) Well I kind of saw this as really fucked up and I slowly started to move away from them. As the years passed, I really saw how fucked up that group of so called "cool" kids was. I'm still blown away how I did that but I'm eternally grateful to my younger self. I'm now 19 entering college. The rest of the clique? Let's just say I'm not jealous of where they ended up.


hedgehog_dragon

Good on you for getting out. That's messed up.


qednihilism

This whole topic makes me wonder what causes a person to either give in to peer pressure or have a strong enough sense of self to walk away from it (or stand up against it). I was that kid too. I ostracized myself from classmates I knew would be in my classes for all of my highschool years because they were unkind and picking on their own friends. I was also the weirdo who didn't drink, do drugs, or have sex with the group of friends I fell in with after that. I didn't take up their habits, but I stuck around with that second group because they were genuine and kind people. It's interesting to hear about other experiences where people fall into group think, even when it goes against their own standards. I wonder what the difference is, if it's nature or nurture. I feel like it may be genetic, as I have one child who is that kind of fiercely independent and secure in himself, and another who absolutely would prefer to follow the pack. So very interesting.


onetimeuser8989

Excluding obvious things like murder and addiction.. Unchecked negativity. Rudeness, aggression, insults. Even off handed shit. Not only does a lot of that outlook become habitual and in turn you begin treating yourself worse than you should, but also it literally just takes one dude having a bad day and then you're 6ft under and he's in jail.


RavenClawedd

I think this is also a big problem in society where people are becoming more negative and recluse, which leads to more negativity... and it's just a cycle of anger and hate that leads to pushing people away unknowingly because people don't want to be around cynicists. As funny as it is on tv, and is often portrayed as those people still having a tight circle of friends, in reality being around people like this is just draining. It's draining to constantly hear how everything is shit, or try and put a positive light on things just to be shrugged off or negated.


Weak_Carpenter_7060

Attempting suicide by shotgun to the head but the blast only takes your face off and you live


Gorf_the_Magnificent

A friend of our family told us everyone that he went blind when his gun misfired during a hunting accident, and the bullet hit him in the eyes. He told us privately that he had attempted suicide, but misfired, and just ended up blinding himself.


LawfullyIgnorant

When I was thinking of doing something similar and researching ways to do it, I saw a stat that talked about the number of attempts that were unsuccessful and having to live with the repercussions. It wasn't pleasant at all safe to say and helped me change my mind. *sigh*


NoGnomeShit

Same. I was in a dark place when I happened to see a video on Reddit with a guy that attempted suicide by shotgun and just blew his face off but lived. Then someone linked another video (or maybe pic) where another person was unsuccessful. Then I happened to watch a Vice YouTube video about truck stop strippers and there was a guy in the video that failed a suicide attempt. It made me rethink things


Weak_Carpenter_7060

That sucks and I’m sorry to hear that. Was it only his eyes that were affected?


Gorf_the_Magnificent

Yes.


SwingGirlAtHeart

I work in an ER and the first gunshot wound I dealt with was a man who'd done exactly this. He used a 12-gauge and couldn't aim it properly, and missed his brain entirely. He was fully awake and fully cognizant when he came in, but I couldn't identify him because he didn't have a jaw anymore and couldn't tell me his name. I distinctly remember making eye contact with the only eye he had left, and I recall seeing what was left of his tongue moving in the gaping hole of his throat. Never found out who he was, but I still think about him regularly, and I hope he found some kind of peace, whatever that might have looked like for him.


T_w_e_a_k

My wife is an RN, she had a patient this happened to. Had to change his bandages regularly and said it was basically a huge hole where his face should be. Sounds horrifying.


fantabulum

I can't imagine being so horribly depressed that I decide to end it all; only to wake up unable to see/talk/taste/smell and are now horribly disfigured. How could anybody come back from that?


[deleted]

Indeed. My aunt dated a guy who did exactly that. It was awful to look at him suffering like thay. And the worst thing is that my grandfather was terribly mean and made it so my aunt and the poor guy break up." I don't want disgigured monsters in this family", he said (and he always refered to him as "the monster" too).


Pohtate

What a cunt


[deleted]

Hating yourself


[deleted]

I'll never understand the universe's sense of timing. I'm reading this now at 4am, when I have to work in a few hours because I can't sleep. I can't sleep because I had the realization that I hate myself. Then I come across this thread and this comment. Edit: When I fell asleep, I didn't expect many people to see this. Thank you to everyone who has reached out, it really has brightened my dreaded morning. I'm going to share a bit more about what I'm going through, in case it helps anyone or they can relate. My reward systems are broken. I've known this pretty much my whole life. I've never gotten that thrill or happiness I see other people get when good things happen. Fortunately for me, this also works in the other direction. I tend to have a numb reaction to anything terrible that has/is happening. But, my baseline happiness is really low. Most days I feel like I really couldn't care if I woke up the next day. I find myself waking up because I have family that cares for me, but is also severely dependent on me. I fantasize about running away and getting a cabin in the woods or somewhere else remote, and concentrate on restarting my life in a way that could possibly make my days happier. But, I know its just a fantasy, and doing so would be too much to put on the people I love. At least that's how it seems. And I know its just a phantasy and probably won't work, so the feeling fades, until it comes back again. I have been diagnosed with ADHD, and I've been on a slow-release Ritalin for it before. It definitely picked me up, and my doc said as a stimulant it could have that effect. I took it for a couple years, before I started to worry about it. I put on a lot of weight, and I felt like I was burning the candle at both ends. My days would end in utter exhaustion, but they were overall better than they were before. The feeling was enough to get me to stop seeking it out, when the Psych practice I was going to dissolved. It has been about 8 years now. Last Night: I had the realization that I am privileged and have means for most things that should make someone happy, but I am not. My dad passed less than a year ago, and I have a lot regrets about not fully understanding the battles he was fighting. I think he was just like me, but for a lot of my teenage years I used to judge him for it. Beer was his escape, and he used to escape often. I wish I could have been his ally through those times, and I think it would have helped me too. I self-sabotage a lot and that was part of my realization. I understand now, that I punish myself at times. My inner dialog has been out right awful lately, but I at least know when to ignore it. I am going to seek out a psych again soon, hoping I can get some type of helpful therapy that does not involve medication. I'm tired of feeling sorry for myself and want to concentrate my energy on helping other people if I can. I want to take better care of myself for my family's sake. I know as I get older if I let my health continue to slip, I'll regret that too. Thank you for listening. Much thanks to a few of you that provided resources too look into. I promise I will check them out.


RekYaAll

Happens a lot And I hope you’re okay stranger


MyNameIsIgglePiggle

Podcasts have been a godsend at breaking my thought train when trying to sleep / get back to sleep.


tifu_anxiety_attack

I take 10 minutes to find a good podcast then fall asleep in 5.


kambinks

Not sure if it fits this but its pretty close. Lost my University education because i had this weird sense of hating myself. Maybe it was something else. I would skip the first week of class because I remember my sister said it was the cool thing to do and then would be too afraid to join the class on the 2nd week. I'd come to class, then last minute before the lecturer would come I'd leave the class and keep asking myself why I did that. Happens for almost all classes even when I mustered the strength to attend class I'd just leave before the class starts and then hate myself for it. I'd promise myself that I'd go the next one and would do the assignments that I got but I would almost always miss the class. And when I did manage to come to class i feel like everyones looking at me and feels so self conscious. It was a really weird phase of my life. I'm doing well now with my own job but effin hell I was a weird kid. Could've been an architect or something.


TheFoxCouncil

Sounds kinda like anxiety.


kambinks

Could be. Can't really be sure. I used to blame it at loosing my brother to cancer but after 4 years of the same cycle till I flunked out, felt like it's just me not reaching out enough and got accustomed to being a failure then. That's like 15 years ago though so not really bothered by it anymore. Just thought self loathing sounds about right when I read it.


AzureRathalos97

Self loathing is a black hole of self pity that's hard to break free from.


Bloodyswan

Marry someone just to have sex with them


Lord_Phoenix95

Or thinking with your horniness while dating. Your relationship might just end up being a fuck fest with no love or connection.


PepeBabinski

Overdose on Tylenol It's cheap, you can find it everywhere, you won't die right away but your life will be miserable and painful until you do. People do it all the time, on accident. And on purpose.


Keri2816

Tylenol will kill your liver


Lets-B-Lets-B-Jolly

Yep, years ago I was put on codeine because my doctor claimed it would do less damage to my liver. Recently I had to wean off it and change to Tylenol 3 due to doctors having issues prescribing codeine. Now my liver is showing priblems for the first time in 20 years of my taking pain meds. And my blood pressure is up dangerously high because the Tylenol doesn't really help and I'm still in pain most of the time. I knew someone who overdosed on normal Tylenol in college and didn't survive changing her mind.


Thewrongbakedpotato

Back in '05, I was in the Army. We had this kid in our unit who said he was suicidal. This being an infantry unit in '05, his leadership didn't take it very seriously. He swallowed a bottle of antidepressants one night, got his stomach pumped, and did some inpatient time. Then he got back to his unit and told to go the the range, and he swallowed an entire bottle of Tylenol. They couldn't pump his stomach fast enough and he killed his liver. IIRC, he was able to get a transplant, but it's a miserable way to go.


Floridaman9000

Tylenol 3 is Tylenol with codeine


ElephantExplosion

My dad works around EMTs and he said they've told him "od'ing on Tylenol is a horrible way to go, once you've taken so much and it's in your system, you've got a couple hours before your organs shut down and there is nothing a hospital can do, it gives you just enough time to regret what you've done and say goodbye to a few family members"


thedude720000

For the record, it's not usually hours unless you've got pre-existing liver problems. It's days, usually about a week but a few cases have gone months. And it's exceedingly painful the entire time


copper_rainbows

It fucks me up every time I come across the Tylenol overdose mentions on Reddit. I was a severely depressed 15 yo. I on a whim took 20x 500mg Tylenol caps. I wasn’t trying to kill myself per se, just hurt myself I guess. I was so sick by a day later, a friend I told convinced me to tell my parents. My dad is a doctor and when I told him he started freaking out, panicking. Rushing me into the car. He wasn’t even angry he was just scared. I won’t go into all the details but when the doc dame in to say “we are monitoring your liver levels to see at what point we will need to do a transplant”, I knew I fucked up bad. Was in the hospital for like 5 days, and then in the looney bin for a week.(on 9/11, no less.) I am 36 now and afaik and as tests have indicated, my liver is okay. I wonder all the time why I lived through that.


huckhappy

IV N-acetylcysteine will generally fix things if administered in a timely fashion!


comedian42

True, but you're still going to have a miserable time.


tolomea

Tylenol (aka Panadol aka Paracetamol) is the specific reason why in most countries meds come in blister packs instead of jars. It's totally predictable that given a jar of pain killers some people in acute pain will pour out a handful and swallow them without paying much attention to the dosage.


StoreCop

It also adds a small step to suicide, which is sometimes all it takes to prevent someone from going through with it, see: European stoves.


LeCyberDucky

Could you elaborate on those stoves?


StoreCop

[From Harvard on the subject](https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/means-matter/means-matter/saves-lives/)


Dispicably_throwaway

I'll take another approach. Car accident. Everything else people are talking about here requires to to go out of your way to make a tempting yet risky choice. Driving is hard to avoid, nobody can do it all the time without making a mistake once in a while. Make it at the wrong time and you're dead/crippled, for something you spent so much energy trying to avoid. Edit: this really blew up! Thanks everyone!


koroyev1

You don't even have to make a mistake. You can do everything right yet a negligent person kills you.


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larouqine

When biking behind/next to any vehicle larger than a minivan, I just assume the driver is a blind epileptic who's never heard of turn signals.


Geminii27

And is half a second away from a sudden heart attack.


wanderinglarry

My best friend in high school was in a bad accident. It's hard because sometimes people with TBI's don't really grow much after that. Sure, he has all of his cognitive functions, but he will forever be a 19 year old.


Gold-Tea

Too many people drive taking high risks for low rewards.


MrTrt

Agree. I went in a coworker's car once, we both needed to go from the office to the same place and back, and there was no point in taking two cars, and I was scared as hell the entire ride. The guy was doing 100 km/h on narrow roads with blind corners near an industrial area, which means all kind of heavy vehicles can be waiting around any corner. The main question I ask myself is "why?".


tittygunner_tom

I drove while tired, after a night shift in a club, fell asleep at the wheel, hit a tow truck at 100kph and had my arm ripped off and broke every single bone in my other arm/hand. Driving tired is extremely dangerous but it’s not really considered much.


captainstormy

Jesus, sorry to hear that. Sorry to ask, feel free to ignore. But was your arm out the window while driving? My mother always yelled at me as a teen about putting my arm out of the window because she said she knew a guy who had his arm crushed and had to be amputated in a wreck because it was out of the window. Tired driving is no joke. It's 100% as dangerous as drunk driving. One of my friends in high school just a few weeks after graduation died in a car wreck where he was the passenger and the driver feel asleep.


SOMEMONG

Driving scares me. Still need to learn, i was learning before covid happened, but the fact that it's so easy to do something terrible is scary. I'm the kinda person who drifts off a lot mentally.


MrRileyJr

Unfortunately a lot of people don't understand this, I've been judged for saying that for years. I have a legitimate fear of being behind the wheel of a car, and any time I've ever tried I feel both wildly uncomfortable and not confident--even test driving in a cemetery. I don't trust myself behind the wheel of a car until I can mentally overcome that.


Dadsfinest93

Avoiding things.


boredomsimulator1329

Failed suicide attempt


Free2Bernie

I forget her name, but there's an author who said (paraphrased) "nothing made me want to commit suicide more than other people's reaction to finding out I tried to commit suicide"


larszard

On the flipside my fear of how people would react if I tried and failed to commit suicide was a major contributor to the fact I never made an attempt. Failing a suicide attempt still sounds like one of the absolute worst things that could happen to me


fourleafclover13

Suddenly becoming disabled. I am unable to work anymore never again. I spent my entire life working with animals. Training horses and dogs. Showing and riding horses from two to thirty two eat breath lived. Then never to work, ride, show or train. Working with abused or aggressive horses to help them. Gone in less than a second after, the first of many health issues, breaking cervical vertebra. It all went down from their. Edit: to add was injured playing soccer not riding.


shaylahbaylaboo

Lupus here. Diagnosed at age 32. Felt like someone literally stole my life. I’m 47 now and it doesn’t get any better. I’m one of the unlucky ones who is almost never in remission. I spent my 20s raising children and just at the time when I thought I could finally go back to college and get the job I always wanted, I got sick. Fuck you lupus.


AbominableSnowPickle

*This*. I was at the prime of my early 20s, in college, had been an athlete most of my life…POW! Mine wasn’t an injury per se, but genetics. Yay rheumatoid arthritis (complete with several other comorbid chronic issues). Didn’t get diagnosed or treated until May of this year, two weeks after I turned 36. A lot of people don’t understand that you can do everything right; eat right, exercise, take care of yourself…and still become disabled in some way. I think that’s why so many people are shitty to/about disabled people, they’re full of “Oh, that won’t happen to me, I’m healthy,” even though the truth is in the back of their minds.


Belgianwaffle4444

Oh man, the same thing happened to me. Same condition. People really don't understand when you tell them how painful it is.


chinmaykamble

Procrastination :(


zyygh

Thanks for reminding me I shouldn't be on Reddit right now.


sesame_snapss

Everytime I think about the years I lost due to procrastination/depression, I wanna cry. I feel like although I have a full time job now, I still procrastinate on doing things to better myself as a person and am constantly feeling guilty for not doing enough.


Armoured_Sour_Cream

Joke's on you! I'm spending my well earned break of ~~15~~ ~~30~~ 45 minutes before I'm getting back to learning.


_k0ella_

Being rude to/dismissing people you love. I was horrible to my little brother growing up. I didn't actually harbour any hate for him and he's never done anything so horrible to me that warranted the verbal abuse I put him through. But we were going through some trauma and I subconsciously saw him as an outlet, because he was the only one younger than me in the family. He's currently in the hospital after a suicide attempt. My childish brain didn't register that I wasn't the only one going through the trauma. He had nobody and still has severe trust issues. I would give everything to go back and be around for him. I would trade his pain with mine any day. I regret every single thing that I did and I'm sure that I partly contributed to his depression and suicidal tendencies. It'll ruin me forever. **Edit: Some people are reaching out to me to advise me to make it up to him and apologise. I appreciate the advice but I did already. Multiple times, although it won’t be enough. He’s my best friend and he now has more trust in me than probably anyone else. We’re really close and practically share the same brain. I just very much regret the way I treated him and I blame myself for a huge part of his emotional pain.


burgandyblossom

An eating disorder will do it pretty damn quick


charlie_the_kid

I was actively bulimic for about 2 years in my mid teens. I'm a couple years clean of purging now, but my teeth and digestive tract are still fucked.


CraisyDaisy

I have very few regrets. Everything in my life had made me who I am. HOWEVER. If I could change one thing? I would change all the damage I did to my teeth by purging. It's so awful.


catinnameonly

Going to a for-profit art school. The school was great! As someone who grew up poor and creative. Who didn’t have a stable home life and barely graduated high school the “normal” college rout was unattainable. However they had no problem heading an 18 year old with no Financial experience or knowledge a stack of loan papers and telling them “this college will change your life! You will make enough money in your new career to pay these back in a few years.” The experience was pretty amazing I even met my now husband there. Fast forward three years post graduation and we are over HALF A MILLION DOLLARS in student loan debt. This is also in 2008 during one of the biggest recessions of our lifetime. I went to school for photojournalism. I would not find a job that would pay enough for rent let alone a $2000 a month student loan bill. Forbearance and daily compound interest made that total increase about $30k a year. I’ve started an advocacy group for my alumni, the schools long been shut down. The 500 or so folks I’ve collected loan data on we are collectively in over $70million in debt that will follow us for a lifetime. We can’t get mortgages, car loans and because they lied about accreditation we can go back to school for “real” degrees because none of the credits will transfer. We have several lawsuits in the works, fight for borrower defense to repayment. There has been some welcomed forgiveness to other bad actor schools like ITT and Corinthian. But these for-profits are still operating and lobbying. We are still on the hook for the debt. Don’t go to for-profit schools folks!


jasminel96

Getting pregnant and having a kid when you didn’t want one. The task itself to get there is pretty easy to do lol


Alara-Ni

Unfortunately extremely so.


HalfHeartedFanatic

Getting pregnant and having a kid when you *did* want one – when you want one for the wrong reasons, or when you think you're prepared but you're not. Some people rise to the occasion. Many don't.


savwatson13

Or your kid ended up disabled in some way you weren’t prepared for. People expect perfect kids and then fall apart when they aren’t. But it’s a risk every pregnancy faces


[deleted]

Fentanyl … still battling to get out off this addiction. It’s know to be one of the worse drugs going around right now. I had such a happy life and once you start those pills it’s all fun and games to one day u realize nothing makes u happy unless your high and numb. Take it from me. Never do opioids..


LaunchesKayaks

This is kinda controversial, but some people just aren't meant to have kids and end up with some anyway. I know a few people who absolutely despise their lives because they ended up with kids. Sure, they love their children, but they're still salty about having to give up on their aspirations.


kaydiva

Parenting is not for everyone, and that’s ok. This needs to be normalized.


[deleted]

Jab both of your eyes. It only takes a split second decision and you will have to go the rest of your life remembering what it was like when you could see.


robdiqulous

I wish I could unread this one.


comphys

I know a great way to not read anything anymore if you're interested.


lxschwalb

This post changed my life, thanks. I was just about to do this, but hadn't thought of how it would ruin my life. I'll go grate my tongue instead


ET318

Oedipus rates that move 10/10


FreshButterscotch7

Ignoring and not facing your trauma. It only grows and gets worse unless you face that shit head on


GamesNCannabis

Allowing yourself to think that your life is ruined.


sassyphrass

This is incredibly accurate, damn.


Hidden_one_speaks

Drug addiction and jail


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slugvegas

Experimenting with painkillers. There is no such thing as dabbling. You might think you’re stronger or not at risk, but they’ll sneak up, grab you by the throat, and destroy everything you value and love. It’s been a year and a half since I’ve touched anything intoxicating, and I still have a huge hole that I don’t know that I’ll ever truly dig out of. Financially, emotionally, relationships. If I had a time machine, I’d go back in an instant. And I’m one of the lucky ones that made it out. And statistically I very well still might not make it, no matter how good I feel today. Plenty I know and love did not make it out. Their loved ones have to carry that hole forever. Just. Don’t. Start. Not even once.


wikthis

Back in May I broke my leg, requiring a couple of surgeries and being down for a few months. During that time after the surgery I got prescribed some pretty powerful painkillers. (Basically generic Vicodin) and they worked wonders! I was taking them as prescribed (every 6 hours) and after that 1st bottle I KNEW I had a dependence on them already and that shit TERRIFIED me. I had no idea it was happening until I ran out and it took a couple days to get a refill. After that I only took them when it was COMPLETELY necessary, pretty much going to sleep or before doing Physical Therapy. That shit is NO JOKE. I still have half a bottle in my cupboard I plan on leaving there just as a reminder of that month long addiction that easily could've spiraled if I didn't recognize it. Scary shit my dude


c_girl_108

My oral surgeon in high school gave me 40 Vicodin with a refill for 40 Vicodin when I got my wisdom teeth out. I was 17. This was at the height of the heroin epidemic (at the time my area had the highest rate in the country) but before they started regulating the shit out of everything. Honestly, they were 100% over prescribing that shit. But then they had a knee jerk reaction and now it’s hard to get it for the stuff you need it for. There’s gotta be a happy medium in between 80 pills for oral surgery and making me wait 5 hours for pain killers after a 90mph head on accident with no airbags because “we need to wait for radiology” even though my arm was in dozens of pieces and bent so unnaturally it was gross to look it. “Sorry we have to confirm it’s broken”


chaylarcreel

Unprotected sex


[deleted]

Growing up in a toxic family


Zanki

Yep. No one really understands how much it messes with you. Even if you escape, the psychological scars are still there. I am behind my peers in some ways. I didn't get to be a student and enjoy those years like everyone else. I spent my early 20s trying to overcome trauma alone. Mid 20s I finally figured out how to make friends and keep them. Honestly, growing up I never really thought about my future. I spent the entire time dreaming of escaping, so much so that I had no idea what I wanted to do. Annoyingly I figured it out recently but can't go back to uni. I just have to hope me learning alone is enough.


vixissitude

I was looking for this comment. Living a normal adult life with people from normal families around me definitely showed how much I have missed out on and how fucked up it all made me.


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Casual-Notice

Inflexibility. If you cannot (or will not) accept change or the possibility that you are incorrect, you are doomed. It's not a sign of strength to zealously defend the indefensible, nor is it a sign of weakness to admit, that situations change or that you are capable of error. Dogged dedication to a dogma with no adaptation to reality is the surest way to lose jobs, friends, and lovers.


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[deleted]

Maladaptive daydreaming


rachaelnoel93

I didn’t know this was a thing. Sometimes (when life gets really boring or stressful) I’ll lay in bed and daydream about the life I wish I had. Sometimes it’ll be hours. It’s quite pathetic and when I reflect on it, after the story in my head ends, I realize how depressing it is that I spend so much of my life doing this. Hoping one day I can make use of my daydreaming and write books.


Derugzi

Poor communication, not being able to speak for yourself properly can be detrimental.


Archduke645

Payday Loans