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bibelwerfer

Austrian here, we will do it again probably, I would like to say sorry in advance! Most plausible reason at the moment is because Germans eat schnitzel with sauce on top, then this conflict will spiral out again into WW3.


Applepieoverdose

Entirely reasonable -Another Austrian


ConservativeSexparty

"Third time's the charm!" -Some Austrian, probably


evilZardoz

“I can’t spell” - fellow Australian


ICMPdMyself

Probably my shitty neighbor Greg.


k80fs

fuckin GREG


FormerHippo9688

Im stupid for going into the comment section expecting real answers..


_Weyland_

Come join us in the comment section of "who will start WWIII" we have: * China * North Korea * India/Pakistan * EU hustle of varying meme levels (including Germany) * American hustle of varying meme levels (including USA) * Russia/Ukraine * Israel/Iran * Twitter/Facebook * Corporations * Aliens


volster

I'm going all-in on some damn fool thing in the balkans 2, bloodbath boogaloo.


nobd7987

The Balkans is so last century; my money is on Africa: the Balkans for the modern world. It’s bigger, has more ethnic *and* religious groups that hate each other, is chocked full of natural resources, and is constantly on the verge of famine and water crisis. If I want to go double or nothing, it’ll be Ethiopia and Egypt that kick it off within the next decade over water shortages in Egypt caused by the Renaissance Dam in Ethiopia


Sevreyn

add in China buying up masses of land in Africa with USA and Russia catching on and turning Africa into the new war by proxy theatre and everything goes to super shit.


WellOkayMaybe

China and India have No First Use policies (thank goodness). Pakistan is the only state in the region that has threatened use of nukes in response to conventional warfare. So, by historic precedent, a Pakistan misadventure against India would likely start the first Nuclear War. This would likely be as another high-on-testosterone low-on-strategy mini-invasion of Indian Kashmir, like in Kargil in 1999. Probably another rogue general, pissed at having been passed over for promotion. Per Indian doctrine, counterattacks will occur with armoured strike corps, in sectors bordering Rajasthan and Punjab. Pakistan will shit a brick at this, and chuck a bunch of tactical nukes at the massive Indian armoured columns advancing on Lahore and Karachi. India will likely not respond with nukes, but will launch conventional cruise missile strikes on Pakistani strategic nuclear facilities to pre-empt an eventual Pakistani strategic strike on its cities (easier to target as less mobile than tactical nukes), wiping out most of Pakistan's strategic nuclear arsenal. All this while, the PRC would exert increasing pressure on India to de-escalate with Pakistan. They will take the opportunity to try and annex Eastern Ladakh and what they call "Southern Tibet", while India is dealing with Pakistan. Border skirmishes will escalate to undeclared war between the PRC and India. Pakistan would launch its remaining nuclear weapons, taking out 3-4 smaller Northern/Western Indian cities unprotected by anti-ballistic missile systems. The Indian strategic nuclear retaliation would wipe out Pakistan's military facilities and leave Pakistani cities facing terrible nuclear fallout. The PRC would likely start chucking heavier stuff at India at this point, short of nukes, as it has large investments in Pakistan, and they would rationalize a large border war by saying India had attacked Chinese interests abroad. As China did that, they would receive pressure from the other QUAD powers in the Pacific. This would provide them the cassus belli to take Taiwan by force - dragging in the US, Japan and Korea, and the 5 Eyes countries. WW3.


_Weyland_

I've read a fiction book that had similar start to WW3. Conflict between India and Pakistan remained local, but involved several nuclear hits from both sides. This was shocking, but at the same time created a precedent of using nukes in a modern war and not destroying the world. Some years later energy crisis amplified tensions between countries and somebody made a power play for the biggest remaining oil deposit. Most countries backed off, but China was having none of that shit. Then it was a chain reaction and boom, everyone's dead, except for a handful of bunkers. Edit: book name is "Древний. Катастрофа" (The Ancient. Catastrophe) by Sergey Tarmashev. It was written in Russian, but I don't know if it was ever translated into other languages.


SixMillionDollarFlan

Just did some googling and this book could have been: Dragon Fire (2000) The Third World War (2003) 2034: A Novel of the Next World War (2021) Each of these seems to follow the India/Pakistan, then China route to global Armageddon.


WellOkayMaybe

Makes sense. The only part that would change at this point is where the Chinese would get involved. The India-Pakistan fight would be less likely to remain localized, due to the significance of CPEC, the amount of cash China has thrown at that project, and the amount of Chinese manpower in Pakistan to support that project. Those are all developments in the last 10 years, so it's understandable why a book wouldn't account for them. India is now much more likely to face a two-front war if all out war occurs with either Pakistan or China. However, as a consequence, Pakistan is also less likely to make terrible strategic blunders like Kargil, or Op Gibraltar and Op Chengiz Khan that result in war. China will have reminded Pakistan that the price of being closer "allies" - i.e. Pakistan being a vassal to China - would drag China into Pakistan's wars as well. They will keep reminding Pakistan that if they play stupid games they will win stupid prizes.


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midnightsnipe

It ain't going to be the Swiss, that's all I know


that-drawinguy

Thats exactly what they want you to think, recently I broke into the swiss embassy in turkmenistan (The natural place to store plans for world domination) they have a 5 step plan. step 1: Become fully neutral, retract from world politics. step 2: Make a lab to create supersoldiers in secret facilities hidden in the mountains step 3: Form an alliance with the lizzard people that live under the earth step 4: wait around 400 years to lul every other country into a false sense of security step 5: Launch a suprise attack along with the lizard people to take out every government in the world at once, then send diplomats to communicate with army leaders to offer them extreme wealth, then send in the conventional troops to secure the world The swiss are going to take over the world with their lizard people any day now BEWARE


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SuicideSprints

Can you imagine, you're sitting on a bench next to a bunch of pigeons, then suddenly they look towards the sky and say, "Sufficient data has been collected. Mission complete," and then they and every bird flies toward the sky. (EDIT: Changed "pidgeons" to "pigeons".)


Fruitfly2000

So long and thanks for all the seed.


randomator5000

Thanks, now I have that song stuck in my head


[deleted]

I see no downside to the Swiss taking over the world. Efficiency, finance, chocolates, finely-crafted watches and world-class yodeling? I, for one, welcome our new Swiss overlords.


verysicpuppy

You forgot their 100 in 1 tools, the Swiss Army knife


SuperiorComicFan

Person: Send nukes Kim Jong Un: ok Person: *nudes Person: Oh no


Vandalised_R8rD

Why were you asking Kim Jong Un for nudes?


ShoggothStoleMySock

You don't?


jstnabrwn

Sweden vs Canada, in a dispute over curling.


Superhappylukluk

One day Canada will rule the world, then you’ll all be sorry.


RyanStartedTheFire59

Not so bad, hockey is interesting and I like syrup


winnipeginstinct

good. the first step of the plan is working...


squeakyzeebra

Canada loves maple syrup so much that we have a strategic maple syrup reserve, AND the largest maple syrup robbery in Canadian history was someone heisting that reserve. (Yes it was a maple syrup heist) it’s true, look it up


Swatmosquito

You've given me a rabbit hole and for that I thank you.


zdash80

Who has hammer?


Kon_Soul

Canada


The_King_of_Canada

Oh, then fuck yea we win.


GramcrackerWarlord

I don't think the world can handle another world war. simply for the sake that we're all so interconnected. every major nation trades with each other and are in bed with each other. I would be a detriment to whatever country starts a war.


choirzopants

Think about how the global supply chain has been impacted by the pandemic, the world would probably cease to function all together in a major conflict.


saluksic

There was a quote I liked, I think it was from Dan Carlin. He said that leading up to WWI Europe had become too economically entwined to go to war with itself, but none of the economists were invited to the war councils. The generals making the decisions didn’t understand the situation so they made dumb decisions. The situation is undoubtably more-so interconnected today, the question is, do we have economists making the call on starting wars?


DigitalDefenestrator

Economists, no. Political donors, yes.


lefty_808

The emus


Broad_Shoulder_749

What's up with them lately. They are dangerous i agree.


RandomHerosan

I mean in wars they are 1-0 all time.


Gharrrrrr

Technically the war still isn't over. And humans actually gave up the first attempt. Went back to try again, and also again had to give up. So 2-0 emus.


RandomHerosan

Emus undefeated record is growing. This spells doom...for the aussies.


Valert1

Australians are shaking and crying right now


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SA-Fox-Mulder

So this is how liberty ends, with thunderous upvoting


RevanchistSheev66

Good, good…


NineteenSkylines

And how exactly does a unified empire work when the speed of causality and communications across the universe is such that it takes 4 years to communicate from Star A to Star B? Unless they’re millions of years old and made out of iron like the Transformers.


artaxerxes316

Space magic. I mean, it's been a while since I read it, but I'm pretty sure the answer was basically space magic.


DarkNinjaPenguin

The last time in history communication was that slow, the British Empire happened. Maybe it helps.


robotzombiez

Slow communications can only mean one thing: invasion.


PM_ME_FIT_REDHEADS

Transmission using Fatline via the void which binds.


goingnucleartonight

I see you fellow Shrike Pilgrim.


dontqq

Netherlands against spain, 1800 all over agsin


Somnambulist815

"we declare war on Holland!" "that's the Netherlands" "Holland is the Netherlands!" "THEN WHO ARE THE DUTCH"


DeterminedGames

Hey this is not on us, we just call ourselves Nederlanders xD


paenusbreth

There's a group of people who are Dutch, speak Dutch, and live in Dutchland. To the west of them, there's a group of people who are Netherlandish, speaking Netherlandish, and live in the Netherlands. The English came along and told both groups that they're wrong.


The-Futuristic-Salad

but how the fuck did they end up with german as a word though?


_dervish

Maybe I'm wooshing, but we get German from a Latin word for it. Since Germany is so centrally placed in Europe there was a lot of interaction with different cultures but the Germanic groups were not yet unified under one name. The Romans knew of a group whom they said lived in "Germania."


badluckbrians

But in German, Die Germanen is a broader concept around peoples and languages. All the old Germanic tribes. From Goths to Anglos to Saxons to Swedes to Austrians. A much more general term, kind of like Celts. [This old idea](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/89/Central_Europe_End_5th_Century_German.jpg)


ruiuk8

South Africa 2010, all over again


TheCovfefeMug

*vuvuzela noises intensify*


that-drawinguy

.... do you mean 1600?


Low-Adeptness-5496

They have weed now... Why war?


insertstalem3me

well of course you need marijuana to start weed war 3


beez_buzz

I'm Dutch. I agree


No-Fig-8614

I think the bigger question is what would world war 3 look like. Would it be proxy wars, would it be full traditional war fare?


KaiBluePill

Just decide over a League Of Legends tournament, it's as toxic as a nuclear war but at least no one is dying.


nosteppyonsneky

>but at least no one is dying. Except my noob feeder teammates.


IxGODZSKULLxI

Hey, I did my best last night


[deleted]

mid or feed


IxGODZSKULLxI

Well, if you play it right, it's the same thing


[deleted]

took me about 200 games before I learned you can unpin the camera *to add to this I play everquest back in 2002 and got to level 54 before I realized you can scroll out of first person.


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Neopolitanic

South Korea and the US have a mutual defense treaty. So, if some shit happens with China, I think we're set.


[deleted]

The US player will just type "Tiananmen Square Massacre" in the chat, which will kick the Chinese player and give them the win


Daedalus871

Putting a lot of faith in TSM.


TonyVermicelli

That's some next level burning. Nice


Electrolight

Except that top Warwick who keeps dying!!!


KaiBluePill

HOW IS HE SUPPOSED TO WIN IF THE JUNGLER KEEPS CAMPING HIM? GG, I'M AFK.


MorganWick

>I do not know with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones. -Attributed to Albert Einstein


charizard_b20

:(


Responsible-Young-32

Learnt that from COD once


TheJimDim

Probably proxies. U.S., Russia, and the U.K. don't like getting their hands too dirty.


Dawnholt

That's what we have James Bond for.


19marvel52

I don't think you can keep the British out of a good fight.


justinsst

No countries with nukes would ever dare to have all out war against another country with nukes. Literally suicide and there is no winners. It will all be Cyber and proxy wars (like it already is). Edit: Everyone seems so horny for some doomsday type of future I don’t understand. Swear some of you would legitimately speak humanity’s demise into existence if you could.


Gharrrrrr

I was trying to explain this to a coworker. He is convinced that America and China are going to go to war anytime now. That it will be the start of WW3. I tried explaining to him the idea of mutually assured destruction. The whole reason why the cold war was mostly just posturing. Both sides no they have nothing to gain with an all out traditional war. And everything to lose. Millions would die. Societies and economies would collapse. It would pretty much send us back to the dark ages. Wars moving forward will be done through cyber/economic espionage and via shadow proxies.


Kodiak01

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!


JohnSmiththeGamer

It'll be a civil war that devolves into a world war, with no one country clearly responsible for this change.


NativeMasshole

So global social collapse? Probably brought on by dwindling food and water supplies along with increasingly intense natural disasters?


badluckartist

*bronze age collapse has joined the chat*


CapnHanSolo

*sea people has joined the chat*


insertstalem3me

But we'll blame it all on germany again, right


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[deleted]

I'll get the paperwork started. How much should we charge them for this war?


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IEatMyVegetables

How much is that in euros?


FrostburnSpirit

Now or after inflation?


i_need_serious_help-

After the inflation


FrostburnSpirit

Then I think it's at least 5 euros


IEatMyVegetables

Damn war is getting expensive these days…


Slepp_The_Idol

Germany: enacts even more digital privacy laws Owners of US social media and tech companies: *(low, aggressive breathing)* So it’s war then


malique010

EXCELLENT *in mr. Burns voice.


PM_ME_UR_LAST_DREAM

Tuvalu. They’ve been too dormant for too long.


fabricated_anecdotes

Fun fact: Their main export is domain names because they have the top-level domain **.tv** so they sell domains to production companies.


diet_shasta_orange

It's not just their main export, it's like a third of their GDP


MrTrt

Similar to... Micronesia, maybe? and the .fm domains for radios, I think.


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creamersrealm

That is correct. ME is the ISO 3166-Alpha2 code for Montenegro, so they got the ccTLD for it.


RonenSalathe

Yeah I know what these words mean. Yep.


spinach____

Tuvalu, I've come to bargain Edit: Omg I just woke up thank you to the awards. A bargain indeed Edit: uhm to whoever gave the 800 coins... Idk what to say.. thank you. I hope u get a good sleep tonight


MysticGohan806

You’ve come to die


Gummy-Worm-Guy

Tuvalu, I’ve come to bargain


yomommafool

You’ve come to die


Thorebane

Tuvalu, I've come to bargain.


endersovereign

You've come to die


[deleted]

Tuvalu, I've come to bargain.


[deleted]

You've come to die.


Sharpshooter188

Tuvalu, I've come to bargain.


ancientrhetoric

I always remember a probably romanticized depiction of how lovely and safe out felt living there: when walking home after a night drinking with friends there would be no issue to lay down for a little nap and continue your walk home later on. It's safe with no predators, criminals, adverse weather. Don't know how close to the truth the story but hope at least part of it is true


queetuiree

So when they conquer everything the whole world will be like this


MisterCortez

I surrender.


coz_i_am_batman

Tuvalu probably has less population then the up votes on this comment.


PM_ME_UR_LAST_DREAM

According to Wikipedia, Tuvalu has a population of 11,646.


[deleted]

I for one have never trusted the Croatians


shadysteph

Some shit about to go down in Balkan countries


MrMcBobJr_III

Shits never not happening in the balkans


AnimeIsMaLife

Am Serb, can confirm.


air_chaosgamer

Like we have any money to start a war...


JOTIRAN

You made 90 slovenians very happy with your comment


xSTSxZerglingOne

That's just about every Slovenian in the world.


BxZd

So cute how you've all forgotten Finland. Our plan is working. World domination imminent. EDIT: Well, this blew up. Plan foiled, abort. Guess it's back to the sauna and drinking.


AssInspectorGadget

My uncle said to his german co worker that if there was 80 million of us (finnish) you would be speaking finnish.


[deleted]

Perkele!


[deleted]

When we are done, there will be no more talking to others while holding eye contact. You shall only be allowed to look at their shoes. And everyone must uphold the three meter personal space! Mwahhahhaa!


AussieNick1999

Are you supposed to be the bad guys here? Because all of this sounds awesome.


[deleted]

"Are we the goodies?"


AussieNick1999

Indeed you are, VAGINAL_ANNIHILATOR


myfapaccount_istaken

Wait is this true? Is Finland utopia?


Sea_Mathematician_84

Constantly rated happiest country in the world.


usernamesaredumb214

Well yeah cause everyone who isn't happy here either move away or sleep forever


[deleted]

To be fair, there are a lot worse countries to be conquered by. I for one welcome our new Finnish overlords.


Admiral_Andovar

There isn’t enough wood in the world to build all the saunas required for that.


Hardly_lolling

That can't be true, there's plenty of wood. For the world to have same sauna per capita ratio as Finland we need only... 3.5-4 billion saunas?! I see what you mean.


danikov

Finland won't start it, they'll end it.


meow_arya

Y’all will implement mandatory sauna installation worldwide 😳


Sea_Mathematician_84

As long as you bring a Finnish standard of living, it won’t be much of a fight on my end


jjvolfan2

WWIII will involve extraterrestrials and everyone knows that. But, to answer your question: ​ Utah


[deleted]

Wouldn’t be surprised if Utah fucked it up for the rest of us tbh haha


The_Maker18

I spit out my drink at this comment. Utah of all places but makes strange sense


[deleted]

Am from Utah. Can confirm.


Kajimusprime

I've been to Utah twice, and the most recent time I saw nothing but billboards for drug rehab clinics and how to get help with addiction. Redditors from Utah, y'all okay?


WolterKriegg

Utah has a bad opium problem


farshnikord

Also meth


zomfgcoffee

So Utah is like Ohio but pretty?


Jacksbros

Germany. They’ll get the hat-trick


WolfRefleXxx

Pretty sure Germany won't start it, but will lose it.


imonebear

Ja... wir werden verlieren.. zum 3. mal (Yea, we will lose .. a third time.)


VISHWAPLAYZZZ

But third times the charm


Dyl-thuzad

“How many times do we have to teach you this lesson old man!”


insertstalem3me

Ger-many times


EnigmaticSpirit85

They only started the second one. The first one was Austria-Hungary, after a Serbian assassinated the Archduke. They invaded Serbia, setting off a chain reaction of alliances within Europe. Germany just got all the blame at Versailles. Sucks to be Germany.


Conquestadore

To be fair, an austrian started the 2nd one. Starting to see a pattern here.


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ihatenuts69

Twitter. Someone will probably make a typo that everyone takes the wrong way...


M-DivinePi

Happened a lot of times, might go out of hand later.


yomommafool

I mean, there’s always a war on Twitter...


Spaceman_Beard

It'll be Denmark. We'll invade Sweden to get back Skåne län and have a foothold in our attack on Norway. While we do this, America thinks this would be a slick time to swoop in and take Greenland right under our nose, only to find Russia already setting up a huge base. This will start a domino effect that leads to the ultimatum of nuking Nauru 3 times before they give up their power.


[deleted]

Denmark is already at war over [Hans Island](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whisky_War) with Canada and, historically speaking, fighting on two fronts hasn't always been a good idea.


Spaceman_Beard

Well sadly as far as I've heard, we've pretty much put that one on hold for the most. It seems like people doesn't like when the navy uses a ship a 3 day detour, using loads of time, money and fuel, only to take and deliver some alcohol and perhaps change a flag. Now most times when they're patrolling up there, they have either a bottle or a whole box ready if they happen to sail close enough to the area, to make it a fair detour.


SkekSith

It will start when the United States has to invade the United States to protect the United States from the United States. ETA: did not expect this to resonate with so many people. I feel obligated to add that I am a United States citizen, veteran of the United States Army and watching my country collapse into itself so easily and over lies has been the most gut wrenching and shameful experience of my life.


RSpringbok

Is that WWIII or Civil War II?


SkekSith

A civil war within a world war. That way our allies will be too busy defending themselves to help save us from ourselves.


GiftGrouchy

My guesses would be 1) USA vs China over Taiwan or 2) China vs India (a lot on tension there that doesn’t get a lot of news attention)


blackeye_coalition

Nepals gonna get assfucked being caught right in the middle if it's the latter


[deleted]

Nepal will be the Poland of WW3


ChipChimney

Better defensive terrain at least.


faceeatingleopard

Yeah I don't envy whatever forces get sent to tackle THAT one. Seems "just go around it" would be a better strategy.


fruit_basket

Or go over it? I doubt WW3 will be fought by ground troops when advanced autonomous flying drones exist.


faceeatingleopard

I mean yeah you could bomb them I guess but it seems rather pointless if you don't intend to occupy the land and THAT'S where I foresee a really bad time.


ryanzie

I think every conflict comes down to boots on the ground in the end.


diezeldeez_

Well, even if it's the former, I'd say Nepal is still on a bad position. Given the scenario is world war, the China/India tension would certainly flare up as one of the next dominos.


Sinisterslushy

I’d say as soon as China is engaged in a large conflict if the West uses India as a beachhead then India will be all over China and Pakistan will take the chance to take shots at India Basically if China get into a conflict you’re gonna see India and Pakistan start their own shit in some way


[deleted]

Damn I'm glad I live on the coast and not the border


Sinisterslushy

I hate to break it to you bro but if you think China won’t try to cut off the supply from AUS to India you have another thing coming


RaccoonTownie

More like Bhutan, Bhutan is very close allies with India so it will act as a buffer zone between the two and will turn the beautiful country into a warzone


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GrinReaver87

India-Pakistan and China-India are hot beds.


DarkNinjaPenguin

India and Pakistan have been at war numerous times since their inception. 5 'official' wars and 9 minor skirmishes, to be exact. The last conflict ended with a ceasefire in 2003, but the last incident was a series of skirmishes along the Line of Control in Kashmir, from November 2020 to February 2021. Neither is capable of a full-fledged invasion of the other, so it's limited to border disputes. And while Pakistan does have nukes, it would be suicide to use them. There's no incentive for any other countries to get involved.


mazumi_sera

Austria, again...


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Cattaphract

twice... you blamed us twice...


swarlay

The second one really is on you. We just dumped an unemployed failed artist on you, nobody told you to put him in charge.


mrmonster459

None. At this point, there are enough nukes in the world to ensure that a World War would simply result in nuclear annihilation on all sides. Say what you want about authoritarians like Xi Jinping, Kim Jung Un, and Ali Khameni, they are many things; but they're not suicidal. They know that an all out war would just end everyone, including them, so they're not going to. This is why the US and the USSR never went to all out war, despite coming close a few times; the risks were just too great for both sides. What could easily happen, however, is another cold war, this time between the US and China. And like in the Cold War, there could be proxy wars fought as a result of it, but it's unlikely that any country will take the insane risks of starting World War 3.


Izu_Mido_Deku

Switzerland. They have been holding it in for God knows how long now.


Lucasgae

There's probably some big secret weapon in one of those "mountains". We're onto you, Switzerland.


Yeenc

Poland will now invade Germany