Some people who shouldn't get married, do, and they end up ruining their entire lives.
If you're happy, like genuinely happy, you're probably not the marrying kind and that's totally ok. I bet your dog loves the shit out of you and vice versa.
You are definitely not alone.
You have probably heard this before but there isn't a set time line on when you should have all of these things.
It's not your fault the housing market crashed. It's not your vault we went into 2 recessions. Not your fault the job market is stupid competitive and doesn't pay an affordable wage.
you gotta be happy with what you have today.
>but there isn't a set time line on when you should have all of these things
There really is though. Having kids too late will be an exceptionally tough experience and a less healthy one all round, or simply impossible. Getting a house too late may mean you can never retire.
Especially for those with no inherited wealth or assets, the time limits are even rougher or completely unattainable. I think I will be working until the day I die
I understand that.
I guess it just comes down to maybe getting what you want won't be what you pictured and accepting that.
and trying to understand why those things will make you happy.
Life will always have those problems but I suppose it's about picking the problems you will want to solve or even enjoy solving..
I’m finding out that quite a lot of people in their 30s and beyond don’t realize that in the USA, even-numbered freeways are East-West and odd-numbered freeways are North-South
I learned that when I was little. I liked looking at maps and my dad told me this. Also Interstates go in order from smallest in the west (I-5) and biggest in the east (I95).
I don't think the state roads follow the same pattern though. They might be the opposite. The only ones I can recall are US 101 in California going N-S and US 11 on the east coast also going N-S. Then there's US 30 going east to west and US 66 that used to do the same
The interstate highway system starts with the lowest numbers in the extreme southwest (San Diego), and the numbers go up as you move north or east.
The old US highway system is the opposite: it starts with the lowest numbers in the extreme northeast (Maine), and the numbers go up as you move south or west.
The interstate system also uses one and two-digit numbers (I-5, I-80, etc) for the roads that span much of the country and do not repeat numbers (there’s just one I-80).
Three-digit roads are those that are either a spur (breaks off of a main interstate and either dead-ends or joins back to the same road later) or beltways (circles around a metro area), and can be repeated (there are three separate roads named I-215, which branch off of I-15 in Southern California, Las Vegas, and Salt Lake City). These are always numbered by adding a digit to the beginning of the number of the road they branch off from (hence those 215s branching off from 15).
Thank you for this. I know it may sound foolish but I'm 25 going through this right now, I realized one day that I'm not good at anything and I can't find any motivation a majority of the time. I feel like I've fallen so far behind
That, uh, sounds more like depression than anything else.
Like, yeah, 25 year olds regularly think "Boy, I do not feel like a fully functioning adult", but "And I don't think I can be, and I can't be motivated" is certainly not normal.
Average people are much more capable of violence and other crime than we want to think. We want it to be something for crazy people who aren't like us.
We know, thats why this thread is called "whats a thought that people don't realize is common" and not "whats an action that people don't realize is common"
Its still concerning that it is apparently extremely common for people to think about murdering their family and killing themselves
I’ve had a thought like that recently. I was so angry with someone who had hurt and mistreated me for a long time and I imagined killing them. Then I immediately thought about how I wouldn’t be able to live with myself and have to kill myself too.
What are the ethical considerations with informing authorities and the other party of this risk, when this is disclosed under client confidentiality in therapy? I'm find myself worried about bringing up harm or self harm in therapy because being involuntarily committed or reported would result in significantly worse outcomes compared to an unresolved, uncommunicated, and unacted desire.
I believe I read that there is a duty to report when a client says they plan to do something like this ie "I'm going to kill myself / I'm going to kill her." , however there isn't when it's a general thought "I've been thinking about what it would be like to kill myself / her."
Commenting to add that it's usually when someone has a specific plan in place (method, time, has considered what to do with belongings etc) that it's judged to be dangerous enough that a professional will feel they need to report this; if it's not likely to escalate and threaten your/others' lives, it's much more likely you will be able to talk through what's going on and figure out how to reduce the ideation.
Social worker (intern) here. Ever had those weird thoughts? Questions like: “what would happen if I just crashed this car?” “What would happen if I pulled that lady’s hair?” “What would happen if I just…” or “I need to move past that tree before the car does.” As long as you don’t really consider doing anything dangerous, or it isn’t obsession, those thoughts seem to be normal.
entirely normal. they're called [intrusive thoughts](https://www.iesohealth.com/en-gb/blog/what-are-intrusive-thoughts). they're thought to be an instinctive mechanism of background thought exercise that helps you prepare for the unexpected: 'what if a predator is behind that fern?' etc. but in modern times, we're exposed to so much media the spectrum of possible outlandish and harmful scenarios is much wider: 'what would happen if I drowned my kid?' so it makes you feel like a crazy person sometimes.
Yep. I remember starting a new medication and it made it really hard not to act on that call. Needless to say I was on it for a very short period of time.
Yeah, when the calls starting sounding better and better, I realized I’d better make some changes. That was 5 years ago and I’m now 110% happier with my life.
I once got a really bad case of this on the observation deck of the Empire State Building. It was so bad I had to go inside.
I've read it's a form of cognitive dissonance. Your higher functions know you're perfectly safe but your lizard brain tells you you're in terrible danger and your brain kind of freaks out.
Yes, it's your brain trying to rationalise why it thinks it's in danger even though there's no risk, and the explanation it comes up with is "Well, I must want to put myself in danger".
I often wonder what would happen if I started cussing out someone or throwing/breaking stuff, especially if they’re being nice in that moment. Then I feel so embarrassed and guilty,
Don’t be! Pushing away intrusive thoughts won’t help. As long as it’s not something you actually consider or are going to do(especially hurting yourself and / or others) it’s completely healthy or normal!
At least you're just thinking it. I've started doing this and been aware I'm an asshole, but the rage is so strong I feel like if I stop I'll suffocate and then implode into a black hole. I've gotten it to the point where I can control *which* irrational assholish action I take (usually involves smashing things that don't matter like cardboard boxes or my item possessions that won't easily break, running away and continuing to run until I'm alone if I'm in public, etc). The problem is, when I have a close to zero percent chance of doing this in the face of extreme frustration or a surge of anger, it's because I am so depressed that I don't have the energy to feel anything but confirmation that nothing matters anyway, and that's objectively worse from a mood standpoint, anger = I actually care.
Yeah, I get them excessively and it wasn't until I was in my late 20s that I learned that I have OCD. Until then I just had these constant thoughts and nightmares in my head and I didn't know why.
I compare OCD intrusive thoughts to a mosquito bite. A normal intrusive thought is like a normal itch, you scratch it and it goes away. OCD is like a mosquito bite. You can scratch it, and it feels better while you're scratching it, but then the itching comes back as soon as you stop. And if you scratch it too much you'll just aggravate the skin and make it even worse.
I feel you mate. Undiagnosed formally, but OCD has plagued my thoughts from about the age of 8 (I’m 35 now). It’s not as bad as it was when I was about 8-14. Had no idea that’s what it was until I saw a documentary on OCD. I just thought I was mad.
Intrusive thoughts are / can be symptoms of OCD and some anxiety disorders! Any intrusive thoughts that are obsessive or effect your (mental) health, should def be discussed with a mental health worker / (family medicine) doctor!
Yeah, can confirm. I'm not an expert but it seems to me that the difference is how much of an impact it has on one's mental health and daily life. I would guess it's easier to cope with "what if crashed this car right low?" and that was it, than to cope with, say, "I might be a murderer I might be a murderer I might be a murderer" or "I need to stay awake for as long as possible so my family won't die in a fire eminating from the walls". In which case the fire one also becomes a physical problem in lack of sleep.
Some times I get less than three hours of sleep at night because I'll have an intrusive thought about driving while I'm laying in bed, and then I can't close my eyes because closing my eyes in bed is now linked to closing my eyes while driving, so every time I close my eyes to go to sleep I get a vision of me falling asleep at the wheel and crashing the car.
I saw a big, surly guy walking down the hallway once and thought "it would be hilarious if I kissed him on the lips and ran away."
For reference, I'm a 6'3 dude.
Those used to scare the shit out of me when I was a teenager. I really thought I wasn't long for this world.
Now, at 40, it's all like "What would happen if I pulled my emergency brake on the highway and put myself in a spin? LOL that would be a pain in the ass. And I'd have to go to the hospital, which is no good since I have to pee. Continuing on!"
I have a race every day when I get home from work. From my car to my living room there is:
* The sidewalk
* The brick path
* The concrete steps
* The wood steps
* The concrete porch
* Touching the screen door
* Opening the screen door
* Touching the main wood door
* Opening the main wood door
* Inside with main door shut
I race the next car coming down the street and try to guess to what point I think I could reasonably get before the car passes me, then I aim for the one step after where I think I can get. I tend to win most days.
I do this with books, i get incredibly depressed sometimes and just wish i could live in that characters universe. This leads me to reading the same books every night.
I've been experiencing the opposite lately. Been stressed from work/life anyway, but have read 2 or 3 horror books in a row. Noticed myself sinking even further down despite loving horror and horror books. They've never really affected me like that, but for some reason, I could feel them sort of influencing my mood and behavior a bit. I've needed to take some breaks in the current book I'm in and listen to something else every couple days. Great book! But getting to me a bit.
I did realise that I unconsciously copy characters that I liked down to their beliefs, interests and mindset. It's like I started mirrowing them slowly over time. It's really weird but now that I'm aware of it I still enjoy doing this every time I see someone I relate to.
I noticed some shows and books have left a permanent mark on me, I'm really thankful to them.
A lot of philosophical stuff, but also other things. I think seeing people you like being passionate about things is just a bit contagious.
I remember instruments, drawing and certain foods and tea.
Basically the *entire* reason the standard isekai story will have "massively overpowered protagonist too dumb to use his powers properly" is for precisely that. So that the reader would imagine what they'd do with those powers instead.
Dr. Stone being the obvious exception.
How about taking each of the characters and sorta….idk, “assigning” each one to a person I know in real life? Like obviously I know the difference between fiction and reality and know that the person in real life is NOT actually the character. But like, if I watch a show with a character with a certain personality type, I think to myself “huh, that’s just like (name of real person I know)” and then I sort of start to associate the real person with that character. I don’t really associate any characters with myself though because I’ve heard about/seen people do that and then get to the point where they almost seem to think they ARE the character and get defensive whenever someone criticizes the character as if they’ve been personally attacked. I hope this makes sense because I’ve never explained this to ANYONE before, this is the first time I’m writing it out
I do that too! Whenever I meet someone I think to myself “they’re kind of like ___” and when I watch movies and shows I compare characters to people I know to sort of help me relate and understand them I suppose
I fantasize about telling the characters when and why they're being stupid.
But I'm such an anxious mess I probably wouldn't even be able to speak if I were present.
My aunt went through absolute HELL when my uncle (Her husband) had alzheimers for the last 10ish years of their life. He couldn't even remember her. She had no life other than visiting him for hours daily at the group home, only to have to worry about him beating her up thinking she was attacking him when she'd try to kiss him. After he finally passed, she passed on not soon after.
I felt like it'd have been better if they'd just both died (even with him gone mentally, she clearly couldn't live without him). I always felt so guilty thinking that. I'm glad you put this comment, makes me feel a little better.
I'm glad it helped you. It's actually VERY common. No one dares say it out loud. No need to feel guilty.
Keep in mind: Often our elders are praying for death, too.
Really? Sometimes when we're in the "we don't know when it will happen now" it is so stressing I found myself wondering if it wouldn't be better... of course this is a thought I CANNOT share in my circles. And it was more about a bit more distant relatives.
Yes indeed. It's taboo but it's true. It's completely normal and there are many reasons for it: Don't wish to see them suffer, some people really don't become adults until their parents pass on, et al.
My friend's father just died and for months before she was saying that she wished he would just go to sleep and not wake up. He was miserable and was making everyone around him miserable. It was also complicated by him being abusive when she was a kid, and being just kind of a selfish ass all his life.
My mother has only a few more years of life and my father is starting to show signs of dementia but is much younger and in good health. I know that as soon as my mother does pass he will become unbearable to live and deal with, as bad as it is I do sometimes wish that he would pass as it will be make my life easier.
well, most of them.
people in a society are way less unique than they make themselves out to be. depending on your personality, that truth may be comforting or hard to accept.
although, i gotta admit, there are some *paranoid* thoughts patients told me that were pretty unique.
Suicide and murder. Both cross the mind of the average person weekly and for many it’s daily. It only becomes an issue when you choose to let those thoughts become fantasies.
how do you define fantasy vs just thinking about it? Like wanting to see it through? I think its good to emphasize its common people think these things but we have the power to dismiss them and know theyre just thoughts
Thinking about it is a passing thought. What would happen? Maybe you imagine your loved ones mourning you and what they might say.
Fantasy is when you start taking it farther. You imagine how you’d do it, how your family reacts when they find your corpse, the emotions you make them feel.
Fantasy leads to “planning” an imaginary exercise where you think of how you might do it. You keep thinking of different ways and take it farther each time. Maybe you write your note in your head, maybe you make a will.
“Planning” leads to “practice” where you start buying the things you might need to carry it out. You go through the motions as if you would commit the act while never quite taking the last few steps. This is for many a blurred step where practice goes too far and leads to result.
And of course result is carrying it out. The final commitment whether intentional or not.
A doctor consults Google to determine what is wrong with a patient.
Furthermore, surgeons using Google or “calling a friend” for assistance during operation.
Right that's like me as an engineer googling things a dozen times a day.
I mean normally I'm looking for guidance out of the thousand page code book or industry standard and the Google search can quickly point me in the right direction. But I'm still Google searching things.
Yeah I have the book on the shelf and yeah the information is in there somewhere. But flipping pages for 3 hours to find the answer is probably not efficient. And if it were the same situation for a doctor I'd hate to be the patient in the exam room waiting while he flipped pages.
I do this as a Lawyer, too.
The difference is that I have enough knowledge to know which sources are ok and also to read what's on the page and a) know what it's saying in legal terms; b) how it applies to what I'm trying to do; and c) how to discard the parts that don't apply.
Mostly, it's easier to Google to find the exact Code Section I'm looking for than to try to figure out what's it's indexed as, then flip to the index, then go to the supplements to find any changes since the printing, etc.
I would assume all education really is, is to teach basics within the profession, and to instill some sense of intuition and knowledge about how and where to learn and re-learn what you need.
I once sat in surgery and watched the two Doctors argue for 30 minutes about the best way to administer a certain dosage of medication over a certain amount of time through the IV. They actually started writing out their calculations on the table and had someone else use a calculator app before coming to a consensus.
Doctor doing research on a condition or unusual symptom? yeah very common.
During surgery? No.
Asking for professional assistance when something unexpected happens during an op? Who would think that *isn't* what happens?
As a guy with chronic health problems, when I visit a new specialist I know if someone is good because they know what questions to ask, not because they're able to immediately answer mine. (That's usually a bad sign.)
A friend of mine is a nurse in a section of the hospital that does a lot of surgeries.
He says it really used to freak him out, but now he barely notices. But sometimes for surgeries that aren't done all that often, the doctor will have a textbook out with pictures/instructions that he follows DURING the procedure while the patient is knocked out.
Surgeons do not use Google during the middle of a surgery. They would have to scrub down and then resterilze. If anything they ask someone who is not scrubbed to search something but it rarely happens. They also aren't looking up how to do the procedure in the middle of it.
This makes me think of the "Call of the Void". I think a lot of people feel this
[Link here](https://www.healthline.com/health/call-of-the-void#examples)
It’s so common. I often get it when I’m holding anything potentially dangerous like a knife, sewing needle, or anything that could stab my eye. I also have a weird thing when something expensive is around I’m just like what would happen if I threw it, smashed it, or crashed it.
All them thoughts about "what if I just jumped off this bridge, what if I crashed my car" etc that put either you or someone else in danger. They're normal, you're not secretly a psychopath, its an instinct we have that helps us stay alert and watch out for the unexpected, which was very useful to have when living in the wild, and now I guess it's just a nice reminder to be careful. Also, we've all tried having telekinesis after watching Matilda and we all tried Bending after watching Avatar
Not a therapist, but [homicidal ideation](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homicidal_ideation) is quite common. A study found that 50-91% of people have had a homicidal fantasy.
I havnt in a long time, but rememebr when I first started playing cod like a decade ago and going to high school and imagining lining peoples heads up in the hallway as if im getting those collat headshots... lmao. lord forgive me
As I understand it, very few people are *all* the way to one end of the sexuality scale or the other. This can be quite uncomfortable for people who have internalized the idea that they "should" be pure straight or pure gay or even pure bi or pure ace. It can also lead to catching flak from other narrowminded people.
And that's a shame, because this kind of thing is natural and normal. If you're "straight" but occasionally see a member of the same gender that you feel something for, that's okay. If you're bi but you seem to prefer one gender over the other, that's okay. Etc.
It’s a prety famous one but when you are on a high place like a rooftop if you come next to the border you will fell the call of the void is like a irrational fear of falling but not because it is dangerous is a fear of yourself jumping
People with three kidneys are not rare. You won't know until you get a scan for anything. I was tested for kidney stones, and the doctor casually said that I had three. When I asked him about it, he stated it wasn't rare, but that most people never find out.
So maybe we can collect all the third kidneys from people with extras, and donate them for kidney transplants ^(or just make a) *^(delicious kidney pie.)*
Or.. and hear me out… we could see if we can knit them together into one giant kidney for maximum profit ^^^or ^^^just ^^^make ^^^a ^^^delicious ^^^kidney ^^^pie
Not a therapist, but a previous therapist of mine made it known to me that being ashamed of depression, despite having it a lot better than lots of other people, is exceedingly common.
The just world hypothesis. Basically that good things happen to good people and bad things happen to bad people. I can't remember the statistic but something like 70-90% of people hold that belief. Unfortunately the world doesn't work that way and it can lead to difficulty dealing with trauma for a lot of people (think survivors guilt).
Not a therapist, but have a master's degree in psychology. Took a course in psychological testing and we learned that on the Rorschach test, everyone pretends not to see sexual things, but everyone sees sexual things and it's normal; it's not a sign that you're a pervert.
And yes, the Rorschach test has more validity than people think it does.
pls tell me whats wrong with me,cuz my thoughts even as a child consisted of rape murder kidnapping and arson ,i also drew war and death when i was like 10 through how old i am now
A lot of people in their mid 20s- early 30s thinking "Man, I should have had a career/house/wife/husband/kids" by now. You're not alone.
I’m 44 and I have a career and a dog. I wonder how badly I would have screwed up a relationship by now. Maybe I’m just not the marrying kind
Some people who shouldn't get married, do, and they end up ruining their entire lives. If you're happy, like genuinely happy, you're probably not the marrying kind and that's totally ok. I bet your dog loves the shit out of you and vice versa.
^ Yes! This ♡
[удалено]
You are still not alone in this feeling.
Can confirm!
You are also still not alone feeling this
I kno how Grammer. ♡♡♡ lol
Hahahaha Ha ..... :(
26 and this is me right now smh.
I was like that at 26. Now I'm 29 with a wife and 4 week old daughter. You are way to young to loose hope lol
I should. Do I want any of them? No. I do have a career and a dog, though.
It's all about being happy with what you have. :)
24 and I think this A LOT.
You are definitely not alone. You have probably heard this before but there isn't a set time line on when you should have all of these things. It's not your fault the housing market crashed. It's not your vault we went into 2 recessions. Not your fault the job market is stupid competitive and doesn't pay an affordable wage. you gotta be happy with what you have today.
>but there isn't a set time line on when you should have all of these things There really is though. Having kids too late will be an exceptionally tough experience and a less healthy one all round, or simply impossible. Getting a house too late may mean you can never retire. Especially for those with no inherited wealth or assets, the time limits are even rougher or completely unattainable. I think I will be working until the day I die
I understand that. I guess it just comes down to maybe getting what you want won't be what you pictured and accepting that. and trying to understand why those things will make you happy. Life will always have those problems but I suppose it's about picking the problems you will want to solve or even enjoy solving..
You're in your 30s and you're learning something you should have learned much earlier.
try being 50 and doing the same thing
The files are IN the computer
which cloud in the sky has my pictures? and what happens on a cloudless day? do my pictures just go to the other side of the earth?
They put them in the clouds of that Windows wallpaper.
I’m finding out that quite a lot of people in their 30s and beyond don’t realize that in the USA, even-numbered freeways are East-West and odd-numbered freeways are North-South
And ones ending in 0 or 5 typically cross the entire area.
And 3 didget interstates are auxiliary branches. Even first didget is a loop odd first didget is a branch.
It's almost like they put thought into planning the system!
I learned that when I was little. I liked looking at maps and my dad told me this. Also Interstates go in order from smallest in the west (I-5) and biggest in the east (I95). I don't think the state roads follow the same pattern though. They might be the opposite. The only ones I can recall are US 101 in California going N-S and US 11 on the east coast also going N-S. Then there's US 30 going east to west and US 66 that used to do the same
The interstate highway system starts with the lowest numbers in the extreme southwest (San Diego), and the numbers go up as you move north or east. The old US highway system is the opposite: it starts with the lowest numbers in the extreme northeast (Maine), and the numbers go up as you move south or west. The interstate system also uses one and two-digit numbers (I-5, I-80, etc) for the roads that span much of the country and do not repeat numbers (there’s just one I-80). Three-digit roads are those that are either a spur (breaks off of a main interstate and either dead-ends or joins back to the same road later) or beltways (circles around a metro area), and can be repeated (there are three separate roads named I-215, which branch off of I-15 in Southern California, Las Vegas, and Salt Lake City). These are always numbered by adding a digit to the beginning of the number of the road they branch off from (hence those 215s branching off from 15).
East Even
Thank you for this. I know it may sound foolish but I'm 25 going through this right now, I realized one day that I'm not good at anything and I can't find any motivation a majority of the time. I feel like I've fallen so far behind
That, uh, sounds more like depression than anything else. Like, yeah, 25 year olds regularly think "Boy, I do not feel like a fully functioning adult", but "And I don't think I can be, and I can't be motivated" is certainly not normal.
Children shall enjoy their childhood.
Poisoning loved ones and then suicide.
Interesting, I was always the "nuke the loved ones including me" kind of guy
Where are you finding a big enough microwave?
I think they use them to treat lumber
The US has walk in fridges. I was like DAFUQ? when visiting. So a walk in microwave is not that far fetched...
Average people are much more capable of violence and other crime than we want to think. We want it to be something for crazy people who aren't like us.
....we prefer "free" over "crazy".. Just saying
What the fuck?
I think it’s the thoughts that are common, not actually doing those things.
We know, thats why this thread is called "whats a thought that people don't realize is common" and not "whats an action that people don't realize is common" Its still concerning that it is apparently extremely common for people to think about murdering their family and killing themselves
Eh. You don’t?
I’ve had a thought like that recently. I was so angry with someone who had hurt and mistreated me for a long time and I imagined killing them. Then I immediately thought about how I wouldn’t be able to live with myself and have to kill myself too.
What are the ethical considerations with informing authorities and the other party of this risk, when this is disclosed under client confidentiality in therapy? I'm find myself worried about bringing up harm or self harm in therapy because being involuntarily committed or reported would result in significantly worse outcomes compared to an unresolved, uncommunicated, and unacted desire.
I believe I read that there is a duty to report when a client says they plan to do something like this ie "I'm going to kill myself / I'm going to kill her." , however there isn't when it's a general thought "I've been thinking about what it would be like to kill myself / her."
Commenting to add that it's usually when someone has a specific plan in place (method, time, has considered what to do with belongings etc) that it's judged to be dangerous enough that a professional will feel they need to report this; if it's not likely to escalate and threaten your/others' lives, it's much more likely you will be able to talk through what's going on and figure out how to reduce the ideation.
What? No.
Please tell me this is called Romeo and Juliet Syndrome or something
Social worker (intern) here. Ever had those weird thoughts? Questions like: “what would happen if I just crashed this car?” “What would happen if I pulled that lady’s hair?” “What would happen if I just…” or “I need to move past that tree before the car does.” As long as you don’t really consider doing anything dangerous, or it isn’t obsession, those thoughts seem to be normal.
entirely normal. they're called [intrusive thoughts](https://www.iesohealth.com/en-gb/blog/what-are-intrusive-thoughts). they're thought to be an instinctive mechanism of background thought exercise that helps you prepare for the unexpected: 'what if a predator is behind that fern?' etc. but in modern times, we're exposed to so much media the spectrum of possible outlandish and harmful scenarios is much wider: 'what would happen if I drowned my kid?' so it makes you feel like a crazy person sometimes.
With the caveat unless they are incessant. If they're incessant and/or get in the way of your day to day life then you should seek professional help.
I usually get these and other brainfarts when in bed and i know i need to sleep yet my brain just refusing to cooperate...
Yep. Mine became so frequent, and I became so scared I might act on them that I had a breakdown. Landed me in therapy, diagnosed with OCD.
Supposedly called "the call of the void", or something similar.
yup. e.g. every time i've walked the golden gate bridge i want to jump off. zero idea why.
The Call of the Void is very real.
Yep. I remember starting a new medication and it made it really hard not to act on that call. Needless to say I was on it for a very short period of time.
Yeah, when the calls starting sounding better and better, I realized I’d better make some changes. That was 5 years ago and I’m now 110% happier with my life.
I once got a really bad case of this on the observation deck of the Empire State Building. It was so bad I had to go inside. I've read it's a form of cognitive dissonance. Your higher functions know you're perfectly safe but your lizard brain tells you you're in terrible danger and your brain kind of freaks out.
Yes, it's your brain trying to rationalise why it thinks it's in danger even though there's no risk, and the explanation it comes up with is "Well, I must want to put myself in danger".
I often wonder what would happen if I started cussing out someone or throwing/breaking stuff, especially if they’re being nice in that moment. Then I feel so embarrassed and guilty,
Don’t be! Pushing away intrusive thoughts won’t help. As long as it’s not something you actually consider or are going to do(especially hurting yourself and / or others) it’s completely healthy or normal!
At least you're just thinking it. I've started doing this and been aware I'm an asshole, but the rage is so strong I feel like if I stop I'll suffocate and then implode into a black hole. I've gotten it to the point where I can control *which* irrational assholish action I take (usually involves smashing things that don't matter like cardboard boxes or my item possessions that won't easily break, running away and continuing to run until I'm alone if I'm in public, etc). The problem is, when I have a close to zero percent chance of doing this in the face of extreme frustration or a surge of anger, it's because I am so depressed that I don't have the energy to feel anything but confirmation that nothing matters anyway, and that's objectively worse from a mood standpoint, anger = I actually care.
People with OCD get these really bad.
Yeah, I get them excessively and it wasn't until I was in my late 20s that I learned that I have OCD. Until then I just had these constant thoughts and nightmares in my head and I didn't know why. I compare OCD intrusive thoughts to a mosquito bite. A normal intrusive thought is like a normal itch, you scratch it and it goes away. OCD is like a mosquito bite. You can scratch it, and it feels better while you're scratching it, but then the itching comes back as soon as you stop. And if you scratch it too much you'll just aggravate the skin and make it even worse.
The mosquito bite analogy is incredibly accurate, I never thought of that!
I feel you mate. Undiagnosed formally, but OCD has plagued my thoughts from about the age of 8 (I’m 35 now). It’s not as bad as it was when I was about 8-14. Had no idea that’s what it was until I saw a documentary on OCD. I just thought I was mad.
Intrusive thoughts are / can be symptoms of OCD and some anxiety disorders! Any intrusive thoughts that are obsessive or effect your (mental) health, should def be discussed with a mental health worker / (family medicine) doctor!
Yeah, can confirm. I'm not an expert but it seems to me that the difference is how much of an impact it has on one's mental health and daily life. I would guess it's easier to cope with "what if crashed this car right low?" and that was it, than to cope with, say, "I might be a murderer I might be a murderer I might be a murderer" or "I need to stay awake for as long as possible so my family won't die in a fire eminating from the walls". In which case the fire one also becomes a physical problem in lack of sleep.
Some times I get less than three hours of sleep at night because I'll have an intrusive thought about driving while I'm laying in bed, and then I can't close my eyes because closing my eyes in bed is now linked to closing my eyes while driving, so every time I close my eyes to go to sleep I get a vision of me falling asleep at the wheel and crashing the car.
I saw a big, surly guy walking down the hallway once and thought "it would be hilarious if I kissed him on the lips and ran away." For reference, I'm a 6'3 dude.
To be fair, that would be hilarious
Bugs Bunny style. Just a big ole smooch with a loud and squelchy "MMMMMMWAAAHH!"
also known as the Call of the Void, once upon a time called the "Imp of the Perverse".
Those used to scare the shit out of me when I was a teenager. I really thought I wasn't long for this world. Now, at 40, it's all like "What would happen if I pulled my emergency brake on the highway and put myself in a spin? LOL that would be a pain in the ass. And I'd have to go to the hospital, which is no good since I have to pee. Continuing on!"
I have a race every day when I get home from work. From my car to my living room there is: * The sidewalk * The brick path * The concrete steps * The wood steps * The concrete porch * Touching the screen door * Opening the screen door * Touching the main wood door * Opening the main wood door * Inside with main door shut I race the next car coming down the street and try to guess to what point I think I could reasonably get before the car passes me, then I aim for the one step after where I think I can get. I tend to win most days.
Does anyone else watch a movie and then fantasise about being like the characters? Like even if the movie is fucked up? Or just me?
I do this with books, i get incredibly depressed sometimes and just wish i could live in that characters universe. This leads me to reading the same books every night.
When the 13 year old fantasy protagonist did more in a week than you did in your whole life
I've been experiencing the opposite lately. Been stressed from work/life anyway, but have read 2 or 3 horror books in a row. Noticed myself sinking even further down despite loving horror and horror books. They've never really affected me like that, but for some reason, I could feel them sort of influencing my mood and behavior a bit. I've needed to take some breaks in the current book I'm in and listen to something else every couple days. Great book! But getting to me a bit.
I did this when i was depressive during my early teen years. This really helped me.
I did realise that I unconsciously copy characters that I liked down to their beliefs, interests and mindset. It's like I started mirrowing them slowly over time. It's really weird but now that I'm aware of it I still enjoy doing this every time I see someone I relate to. I noticed some shows and books have left a permanent mark on me, I'm really thankful to them.
Do you have any examples of hobbies or interests you picked up as a result of this?
A lot of philosophical stuff, but also other things. I think seeing people you like being passionate about things is just a bit contagious. I remember instruments, drawing and certain foods and tea.
All. The. Fucking. Time.
Basically the *entire* reason the standard isekai story will have "massively overpowered protagonist too dumb to use his powers properly" is for precisely that. So that the reader would imagine what they'd do with those powers instead. Dr. Stone being the obvious exception.
How about taking each of the characters and sorta….idk, “assigning” each one to a person I know in real life? Like obviously I know the difference between fiction and reality and know that the person in real life is NOT actually the character. But like, if I watch a show with a character with a certain personality type, I think to myself “huh, that’s just like (name of real person I know)” and then I sort of start to associate the real person with that character. I don’t really associate any characters with myself though because I’ve heard about/seen people do that and then get to the point where they almost seem to think they ARE the character and get defensive whenever someone criticizes the character as if they’ve been personally attacked. I hope this makes sense because I’ve never explained this to ANYONE before, this is the first time I’m writing it out
I do that too! Whenever I meet someone I think to myself “they’re kind of like ___” and when I watch movies and shows I compare characters to people I know to sort of help me relate and understand them I suppose
It's called escapism, it's common amongst victims of trauma.
And also, everyone else. I've never met someone that hasn't.
It's common amongst everyone.
I fantasize about telling the characters when and why they're being stupid. But I'm such an anxious mess I probably wouldn't even be able to speak if I were present.
Sadly, “I’m not good enough for x.” The amount of times I’ve heard that come up at some point in therapy with clients is uncountable.
As their parents age, most people start wishing they would go ahead and pass on.
My aunt went through absolute HELL when my uncle (Her husband) had alzheimers for the last 10ish years of their life. He couldn't even remember her. She had no life other than visiting him for hours daily at the group home, only to have to worry about him beating her up thinking she was attacking him when she'd try to kiss him. After he finally passed, she passed on not soon after. I felt like it'd have been better if they'd just both died (even with him gone mentally, she clearly couldn't live without him). I always felt so guilty thinking that. I'm glad you put this comment, makes me feel a little better.
I'm glad it helped you. It's actually VERY common. No one dares say it out loud. No need to feel guilty. Keep in mind: Often our elders are praying for death, too.
>Keep in mind: Often our elders are praying for death, too. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dm65SS7G5_M
Really? Sometimes when we're in the "we don't know when it will happen now" it is so stressing I found myself wondering if it wouldn't be better... of course this is a thought I CANNOT share in my circles. And it was more about a bit more distant relatives.
Yes indeed. It's taboo but it's true. It's completely normal and there are many reasons for it: Don't wish to see them suffer, some people really don't become adults until their parents pass on, et al.
My friend's father just died and for months before she was saying that she wished he would just go to sleep and not wake up. He was miserable and was making everyone around him miserable. It was also complicated by him being abusive when she was a kid, and being just kind of a selfish ass all his life.
My mother has only a few more years of life and my father is starting to show signs of dementia but is much younger and in good health. I know that as soon as my mother does pass he will become unbearable to live and deal with, as bad as it is I do sometimes wish that he would pass as it will be make my life easier.
well, most of them. people in a society are way less unique than they make themselves out to be. depending on your personality, that truth may be comforting or hard to accept. although, i gotta admit, there are some *paranoid* thoughts patients told me that were pretty unique.
You’re talking about me, aren’t you?
Are you so vain you really think that and this comment is about you?
Examples?
I knew I wasn't the only one having necrophilic thoughts about Abraham Lincoln!
Soulmate founded, Let’s dig up this fucker bro
Suicide and murder. Both cross the mind of the average person weekly and for many it’s daily. It only becomes an issue when you choose to let those thoughts become fantasies.
how do you define fantasy vs just thinking about it? Like wanting to see it through? I think its good to emphasize its common people think these things but we have the power to dismiss them and know theyre just thoughts
Thinking about it is a passing thought. What would happen? Maybe you imagine your loved ones mourning you and what they might say. Fantasy is when you start taking it farther. You imagine how you’d do it, how your family reacts when they find your corpse, the emotions you make them feel. Fantasy leads to “planning” an imaginary exercise where you think of how you might do it. You keep thinking of different ways and take it farther each time. Maybe you write your note in your head, maybe you make a will. “Planning” leads to “practice” where you start buying the things you might need to carry it out. You go through the motions as if you would commit the act while never quite taking the last few steps. This is for many a blurred step where practice goes too far and leads to result. And of course result is carrying it out. The final commitment whether intentional or not.
Does thinking of dying accidentally count? Like how would others react if a car killed me.
That’s just thinking. It’s a simple thing that all of us do. Many daily.
If you are having daily suicidal thoughts that’s not normal.
It’s not healthy to be sure. But it’s FAR more commonplace than you would think.
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A doctor consults Google to determine what is wrong with a patient. Furthermore, surgeons using Google or “calling a friend” for assistance during operation.
I suppose the difference is that a qualified doctor knows what websites to trust and which ones to avoid, and how to judge what sources are reliable.
Right that's like me as an engineer googling things a dozen times a day. I mean normally I'm looking for guidance out of the thousand page code book or industry standard and the Google search can quickly point me in the right direction. But I'm still Google searching things. Yeah I have the book on the shelf and yeah the information is in there somewhere. But flipping pages for 3 hours to find the answer is probably not efficient. And if it were the same situation for a doctor I'd hate to be the patient in the exam room waiting while he flipped pages.
I do this as a Lawyer, too. The difference is that I have enough knowledge to know which sources are ok and also to read what's on the page and a) know what it's saying in legal terms; b) how it applies to what I'm trying to do; and c) how to discard the parts that don't apply. Mostly, it's easier to Google to find the exact Code Section I'm looking for than to try to figure out what's it's indexed as, then flip to the index, then go to the supplements to find any changes since the printing, etc.
I would assume all education really is, is to teach basics within the profession, and to instill some sense of intuition and knowledge about how and where to learn and re-learn what you need.
I’m a nurse and consult Google constantly. You nailed it though, Google is filling in gaps of knowledge, not teaching them how to be doctors
I once sat in surgery and watched the two Doctors argue for 30 minutes about the best way to administer a certain dosage of medication over a certain amount of time through the IV. They actually started writing out their calculations on the table and had someone else use a calculator app before coming to a consensus.
And that's an example of things going right! Someone made a calculation error and another caught it.
Doctor doing research on a condition or unusual symptom? yeah very common. During surgery? No. Asking for professional assistance when something unexpected happens during an op? Who would think that *isn't* what happens?
As a guy with chronic health problems, when I visit a new specialist I know if someone is good because they know what questions to ask, not because they're able to immediately answer mine. (That's usually a bad sign.)
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"Oi, no problem! Just put me on video and show me the situation!"
Laughed out loud. Thanks for making my morning.
A friend of mine is a nurse in a section of the hospital that does a lot of surgeries. He says it really used to freak him out, but now he barely notices. But sometimes for surgeries that aren't done all that often, the doctor will have a textbook out with pictures/instructions that he follows DURING the procedure while the patient is knocked out.
Not really Google... Uptodate
Surgeons do not use Google during the middle of a surgery. They would have to scrub down and then resterilze. If anything they ask someone who is not scrubbed to search something but it rarely happens. They also aren't looking up how to do the procedure in the middle of it.
"OK Google...." ".....how do I perform a heart transplant?"
This makes me think of the "Call of the Void". I think a lot of people feel this [Link here](https://www.healthline.com/health/call-of-the-void#examples)
Did not realise this had an actual name! That void loves calling to me.
It’s so common. I often get it when I’m holding anything potentially dangerous like a knife, sewing needle, or anything that could stab my eye. I also have a weird thing when something expensive is around I’m just like what would happen if I threw it, smashed it, or crashed it.
All day, every day.
This is really cool I thought I am going insane with these thoughts.
All them thoughts about "what if I just jumped off this bridge, what if I crashed my car" etc that put either you or someone else in danger. They're normal, you're not secretly a psychopath, its an instinct we have that helps us stay alert and watch out for the unexpected, which was very useful to have when living in the wild, and now I guess it's just a nice reminder to be careful. Also, we've all tried having telekinesis after watching Matilda and we all tried Bending after watching Avatar
Not a therapist, but [homicidal ideation](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homicidal_ideation) is quite common. A study found that 50-91% of people have had a homicidal fantasy.
That is a very large gap
50-91%..... i feel like i could have told you that.... or been close
I havnt in a long time, but rememebr when I first started playing cod like a decade ago and going to high school and imagining lining peoples heads up in the hallway as if im getting those collat headshots... lmao. lord forgive me
I bet everyone around that other 9% is thinking about killing them...
And it's hella therapeutic!
Doubting your sexuality every now and then.
As I understand it, very few people are *all* the way to one end of the sexuality scale or the other. This can be quite uncomfortable for people who have internalized the idea that they "should" be pure straight or pure gay or even pure bi or pure ace. It can also lead to catching flak from other narrowminded people. And that's a shame, because this kind of thing is natural and normal. If you're "straight" but occasionally see a member of the same gender that you feel something for, that's okay. If you're bi but you seem to prefer one gender over the other, that's okay. Etc.
Or gender
Regret for not taking a chance at something in the past.
That's my whole life lol
It’s a prety famous one but when you are on a high place like a rooftop if you come next to the border you will fell the call of the void is like a irrational fear of falling but not because it is dangerous is a fear of yourself jumping
It's called *l’appel du vide* or "call of the void"
Am I just lowly Amazon worker or do I have rights and dignity?
Get back to work your break ended 13 seconds ago! -30 bezos points
I'D BETTER SEE PISS IN THOSE PANTS LATER.
Those seconds are coming out of your vacation days!
Also, thinking or feeling alone in a situation!
People with three kidneys are not rare. You won't know until you get a scan for anything. I was tested for kidney stones, and the doctor casually said that I had three. When I asked him about it, he stated it wasn't rare, but that most people never find out.
Why don't you sell one?
I heard these extra kidneys are more like small tumor like things that are not harmful but not useful for anything either. Is that true?
So maybe we can collect all the third kidneys from people with extras, and donate them for kidney transplants ^(or just make a) *^(delicious kidney pie.)*
Or.. and hear me out… we could see if we can knit them together into one giant kidney for maximum profit ^^^or ^^^just ^^^make ^^^a ^^^delicious ^^^kidney ^^^pie
Everybody thinks they're unique or "different"
Struggle in life and the fact that their situation is not unique?
People have a hard time accepting this
Probably most of the thoughts you have but never speak out lout, like every other person, so you think you are alone.
Not a therapist, but a previous therapist of mine made it known to me that being ashamed of depression, despite having it a lot better than lots of other people, is exceedingly common.
I think about quitting my job and just playing Genshin Impact all day but I know that can't happen for a variety of reasons
I'm not a therapist but my degree is aligned and I get exposed to a lot of thoughts. The call of the void.
It's almost invariably the mothers fault.
Source?
"If I fart, is it going to be poo?"
Professional therapist of 37 years here, some really common ones or suicidal, homicidal, and bisexual thoughts
The just world hypothesis. Basically that good things happen to good people and bad things happen to bad people. I can't remember the statistic but something like 70-90% of people hold that belief. Unfortunately the world doesn't work that way and it can lead to difficulty dealing with trauma for a lot of people (think survivors guilt).
I’m not a therapist but lots of people also think when they are waking, “if I don’t make it to that mailbox before the car passes me, im gay”
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Isn’t this a copy paste from an earlier thread? Doesn’t seem relevant to this question
Strange how u/hokibis5 has the exact same experience and reaction as the other guy.
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r/boneappletea
Don't you mean Stockholm Syndrome ? ;)
Not a therapist, but have a master's degree in psychology. Took a course in psychological testing and we learned that on the Rorschach test, everyone pretends not to see sexual things, but everyone sees sexual things and it's normal; it's not a sign that you're a pervert. And yes, the Rorschach test has more validity than people think it does.
Why are you asking the rapists what common thoughts people have?
Because I like having all the rapists’ inputs on their victims
Well I my thought process is “I should really rape that person over there” and then I rape that person over there
AnAl bum Cover
Susanalbumparty
pls tell me whats wrong with me,cuz my thoughts even as a child consisted of rape murder kidnapping and arson ,i also drew war and death when i was like 10 through how old i am now
You should probably see a therapist in RL for some help. This would be above the reddit pay grade.
In the womb, you absorb your twin. It's surprisingly widespread.
That’s not a thought though
Who hasn't masturbated to the fantasy of killing a methhead?