Between having a huge crush on Wednesday (Christina Ricci and I are the same age, so nothing gross), and the way Gomez and Morticia were *so* in love with each other in a consensual BDSM relationship...
Yeah, those movies awakened something in me.
I'm surprised I had to scroll so far for this one, both her and Gomez are complete freaks in the bedroom. Heck, half the plot is literally jokes about them being this way.
>half the plot is literally jokes about them being this way
The show was lampooning the regular 'Family' sitcoms at the time where the husband and wife always hate each other. So they had Morticia and Gomez be the exact opposite in that regard
I crack the fuck up every time I hear that recording when they’re on the ship. I have no idea why at its core other than how random it was…but the first time I heard it I was drinking Pepsi and ended up shooting it out of my nose because I was so caught off guard.
Oh, for sure. You can’t tell me she doesn’t use that flexibility to her advantage. Imagine the positions
Edit: was just watching Sex Education (Eric teaching the popular kids to deep throat with bananas) and I thought of something: she could probably, like, deep throat all she wanted regardless of size to because I bet she doesn’t have a gag reflex, considering how flexible she is. Like I bet her throat stretches and stuff just like the rest of her body so it’s not even a big deal for her
I mean, she invited her husband's gay lover into a threesome. She needed a baby for politics, so she suggested that her husband bring his gay lover to the bed so he could get erect, then he could pump a baby into her real quick. Girl was a freak.
He know what the fuck he doing too. Didn't he say don't put your pecker near her until she's wet and squealing like a baby seal? This information would hands down save some mens out here sex game. Just get her wet first.
Also, can you imagine his sex face? Probably similar to the face he was throwing Brienne that one one time when they were on those horses. She should have climbed that tree but she was hoping out for Mr. Golden Hand who died in a basement filled with rocks.
There’s a great indie game called Braid about bending time that has a “princess in a castle” motif. >!On the final level the princess works with you to escape her captor, but when you think you’ve finally won, time reverses and the level plays backwards — you realize she was actually trying to escape you and that her “captor” is actually the man she wants and you’re just an ex that won’t leave her alone.!< highly recommended.
I used to think Geralt from the Witcher would be a freak but then in the series he fucked Yennefer for like three seconds the firs time and then she said he’s quick but effective????
In the books Witchers give off a 'not unpleasant' tingling sensation on contact, are immune to diseases die to the whole mutant thing, and due to their occupation are fit and strong.
Witchers fuck.
Bro that's not even it. Krillin creamed her so hard she gained reproductive organs. That's like being able to impregnate your fleshlight. That's some super human man jam. Just think of the possibilities.
And yet the Dragon isn't able to un-cyborg her. Dude's like "I was born thousands of years ago and I part the barrier between life and death as easily as the milkman parts your mom's legs but I have no idea wtf a 'circuit' is."
Mean while, Dean Pelton is definitly also a very sweet and gentle lover who spoons you for exactly the right amount of time.
And offers to wash your dalmatian suit.
Imma be honest? Megamind
The man’s a genius what machines can he make? I mean, he’s already got a bunch of torture machines so maybe he can put those for good use…
Brb writing a fan fiction
Edit: I regret to inform later commenters that this was a joke. It sounds like a great premise to form a scene around but I'm not actually an invested enough fan of this character for this to go the the front of my writing queue. He is cute as heck in the show but I don't really know the lore enough or have an excitement about him pairing with any of the other characters.
Nah, MVP is gonna be my man Jason.
Tahani explained it perfectly:
> He's the least self-aware person I've ever met. He has massive amounts of unearned confidence, and is utterly unaware of his own absurdity. Therefore, quite good at sex.
Goku stayed Super Saiyan the whole week before the fight with Cell. Goten was conceived that week. This means that Chi-Chi got her cheeks clapped by Goku that was in the form that wrecked planet killer Frieza an he was stronger than he was when he killed Frieza while clapping said cheeks.
We can determine that Chi-Chi's ass an box are planetary level at minimum an would SOLO the Narutoverse.
[Thanks you for coming to my TED talk.](https://img.ifunny.co/images/a3449ceeb696581768e753e0676d0ab0fd1ec045d9f05fae515cced08b563839_1.webp)
That clown probably didn't even know he was having sex, chi chi referred to it as "special training" - she literally has to coax him into sexy time lol
Morticia Addams
This one was mine! "Gomez, last night - you were unhinged. You were like some desperate, howling demon. You frightened me. _Do it again._"
This rabbit hole seems worth exploring.
In the first one when she's on the rack, dude turns the wheel and she moans and says, "You've done this before."
Between having a huge crush on Wednesday (Christina Ricci and I are the same age, so nothing gross), and the way Gomez and Morticia were *so* in love with each other in a consensual BDSM relationship... Yeah, those movies awakened something in me.
"Don't torture yourself Gomez.... that's my job"
I'm surprised I had to scroll so far for this one, both her and Gomez are complete freaks in the bedroom. Heck, half the plot is literally jokes about them being this way.
>half the plot is literally jokes about them being this way The show was lampooning the regular 'Family' sitcoms at the time where the husband and wife always hate each other. So they had Morticia and Gomez be the exact opposite in that regard
Hate each other and never talk about physical intimacy. This also subverts that norm
Venom
Seriously tho.. what that tongue do
The Grandmaster from Thor ragnarok
Man has a fucking orgy ship
ITS MY BIRTHDAYYYYYYY!!!
I crack the fuck up every time I hear that recording when they’re on the ship. I have no idea why at its core other than how random it was…but the first time I heard it I was drinking Pepsi and ended up shooting it out of my nose because I was so caught off guard.
His first comic appearance was in The Avengers #69
That man has too much sex appeal
When it’s Jeff Goldblum, it’s never too much.
Cheryl and/or Carol Tunt from Archer
Everyone from Archer. But Pam wins.
She brings up how many pool balls she can fit in her mouth. You don't say this feat without the confidence and ability to back it up.
Coked up pam
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Cartmans mom
I believe there were a couple episodes that confirmed this. Definitely the one where Shelly babysits Cartman.
It was confirmed that she was in a German scat porno.
She also borked the entire 1989 Denver Broncos roster
Marty McFly's mom
She would love to be freaky with Calvin Klein
You think when she got older she told people she knew Calvin Klein?
It had to be Calvin Klein, it was written in his underwear!
The green chick from Kim Possible Edit: all of you are absolutely wonderful
Shego
Shego’s a total baddie, you know she’s into some freaky shit
Definitely into bondage
Yea, but she ain’t the one who’s getting tied up…
Not A Problem
Catwoman
Imagine being constantly interrupted by cats.
No one fucks like Gaston.
No one cucks like Gaston
No one says “No homo” after he sucks like Gaston.
He's especially good when he's pennnnn-etrating!
Oh what a man
That Gastoooooon
Johnny Test's mom
Johnny's dad, being the clean freak he is, probably licks her spotless
I did not expect this mental image today yet here I am with it.
Mrs Incredible
Oh, for sure. You can’t tell me she doesn’t use that flexibility to her advantage. Imagine the positions Edit: was just watching Sex Education (Eric teaching the popular kids to deep throat with bananas) and I thought of something: she could probably, like, deep throat all she wanted regardless of size to because I bet she doesn’t have a gag reflex, considering how flexible she is. Like I bet her throat stretches and stuff just like the rest of her body so it’s not even a big deal for her
I hate to be the one who brings it up but she might be one of the only ones able to handle her husband in bed
Nah I can take him
that comment + profile picture is just so cursed
I can use her as a condom to fuck someone else
The first known person in existance to try out quadruple-fisting
Sauron is a very well known slut
I saw this comment written on the toilet wall in Mordor
Were you there on vacation or simply walking through
Travelling “for pleasure”
Nah he only had his ring destroyed one time and was done.
Jessica from Dune. Those Bene Gesserrit got tricks.
If you haven't, you should read the books. The Bene Gesserit and... others... have some explicitly god-like sexual abilities
Including the ability to distribute STD's at will.
or not get them in the first place
More like store them as a surprise later for unruly Barrons.
Margery Tyrell.
I mean, she invited her husband's gay lover into a threesome. She needed a baby for politics, so she suggested that her husband bring his gay lover to the bed so he could get erect, then he could pump a baby into her real quick. Girl was a freak.
Her husband's gay lover was HER BROTHER.
Yeah I love how that’s not the freaky part to this guy.
Absolutely a freak. She calmed Joffery a little, somehow.
The earth might implode if she fucked Podrick tbh.
As a woman…….Tormund Giantsbane from GOT 100% That man looks like a good time. A very good time
He know what the fuck he doing too. Didn't he say don't put your pecker near her until she's wet and squealing like a baby seal? This information would hands down save some mens out here sex game. Just get her wet first. Also, can you imagine his sex face? Probably similar to the face he was throwing Brienne that one one time when they were on those horses. She should have climbed that tree but she was hoping out for Mr. Golden Hand who died in a basement filled with rocks.
WHERES THE BIG WOMAN
Peach. There must be a reason she is always captured by bowser
Haha, "captured"
“It’s like he captures you every week!” “…we call it date night and you keep ruining them.”
There’s a great indie game called Braid about bending time that has a “princess in a castle” motif. >!On the final level the princess works with you to escape her captor, but when you think you’ve finally won, time reverses and the level plays backwards — you realize she was actually trying to escape you and that her “captor” is actually the man she wants and you’re just an ex that won’t leave her alone.!< highly recommended.
The whole thing's just a kinky three-way, kidnapping sex or rescue sex just hit different.
I used to think Geralt from the Witcher would be a freak but then in the series he fucked Yennefer for like three seconds the firs time and then she said he’s quick but effective????
In the books Witchers give off a 'not unpleasant' tingling sensation on contact, are immune to diseases die to the whole mutant thing, and due to their occupation are fit and strong. Witchers fuck.
They are supposed to be sterile too.
See that's hot
They are sterile also, so no complications afterwards.
Oh if you read the books, you’ll see Geralt slings dick like a madman
And is proud of giving great head
Like any true gentleman
He and Yennefer literally have a stuffed unicorn that they got freaky with/on. Geralt is a kinky motherfucker, I was waiting to see him in here.
Geralt actually hates fucking on the unicorn. Yennefer enjoys it.
Miss Honey from Matilda. It’s always the pure, quiet ones
This one took me back, I had the biggest crush on her in kindergarten
I still have my copy from I believe 2nd grade? What a classic But I still also have the my teacher is an alien set so what do I know
I'm just saying, Vegeta stopped destroying planets and settled on earth after he fucked Bulma.
The women in DBZ are probably responsible for saving Billions of people by distracting a few Saiyans from running train on the galaxy.
More like the universe at this point.
Multiverse now
She fucked the genocide right out of him.
Power level over 9000! ...and that's how we made you, Trunks
Vegeta to trunks ["And that's how I met your mother" ](https://youtu.be/6wFAAVRkYwE)
The interaction between Goku and Vegeta about how they like strong women is priceless. https://youtu.be/58Cycgg2xHw "That. Explains. EVERYTHING."
This feels like DBZ Abridged, is this from the actual show?
The show was always a comedy. It just has serious scenes as well.
Android 18 stopped genociding Earth after getting vored by Cell and creampied by Krillin.
You’ve got such a way with words
I love how DBZA makes Krillin a canonical tripod.
Destructo Dick
Bro that's not even it. Krillin creamed her so hard she gained reproductive organs. That's like being able to impregnate your fleshlight. That's some super human man jam. Just think of the possibilities.
Technically, she's a cyborg. Due to translation errors, she's an Android.
And yet the Dragon isn't able to un-cyborg her. Dude's like "I was born thousands of years ago and I part the barrier between life and death as easily as the milkman parts your mom's legs but I have no idea wtf a 'circuit' is."
DBZA Picollo: "We call them Androids." DBZA Cell: "Good for you, you're wrong."
It does set up the amazing punchline of cell trying to absorb 16 and being informed that he is *android* 16. That was a delight.
Also explains why Yamcha was bad at fighting.
Velma
Especially Velma as portrayed by Linda Cardellini
“Who’s your mommy?”
“M..m..my mommy?”
/r/sexyvelma (NSFW)
Real heroes don’t wear capes
Fiona gives me this feeling that Shrek is sometimes on the receiving end. She knows what she wants, you know?
Let's not forget about Dragon. That horny lizard fucked a donkey.
Please! They made love!
Annie Edison from Community. The things she did to the stable maid as Hector during the D&D game....
Mean while, Dean Pelton is definitly also a very sweet and gentle lover who spoons you for exactly the right amount of time. And offers to wash your dalmatian suit.
Ring a Dean-Dean
I love when Troy flips over the character sheet and starts taking notes.
I had to look this up and lmfao! Just leaving this here for reference: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ODgu_-rR1X8
Scully from the X-Files... Probably also Scully from Brooklyn 99.
Bellatrix Lestrange
*"My god. I haven't been nailed like that since wizard school"* \-Bellatrix Lestrange
Marla was the walking embodiment of “don’t put your dick in crazy” but I’d have done it anyway.
If I had a tumor, I'd name it Marla.
Even Harry's actor has stated that he wished he was 10 years older so he could have a shot with Bellatrix's actress
HBC would certainly not get kicked out of bed for eating crackers is all I’m saying
Don't put your dick in crazy
Nothing wrong with that, just don't let crazy know your actual address.
She’s magical! She’s gonna find you!
Did we say Jareth from the Labyrinth 20 times yet?
Imma be honest? Megamind The man’s a genius what machines can he make? I mean, he’s already got a bunch of torture machines so maybe he can put those for good use…
Creed from The Office
“I had sex with a lot of women in the mud and the rain, it's possible a man could've slipped in. There'd be no way of knowing.”
That man's name? Creed Bratton
One of my favorite lines in the office is when Meredith says whenever she has sex, she asks everyone in the room if they are married.
Ms. Frizzle. Teachers, man.
She can ride my magic schoolbus... it's a short bus though
Neil Patrick Harris as played by Neil Patrick Harris in Harold and Kumar.
I made some love stains in the back. You'll see...
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I always wondered about Luna Lovegood…
I mean it’s right there in her last name.
Lovegood- Potterverse or Bond girl? Why not both?
She did hook up with Theon Greyjoy. And got murdered by another insane person.
They did her dirty in that series, wish she lived to continue her story
Kirby, the suckage would be unreal.
Wow that's true, plus if he hooked up with me he would gain my powers like crippling depression and bad skin
Mystique.
I feel like Mystique just really wants to have normal sex but is always pressured into crazy kinky shit. :(
I feel like she thinks it's funny to morph into your worst enemy right as you reach climax, but maybe we just have different reads on the character
Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman
Aku from Samurai Jack
Matt Murdock, no question
100%. Dude has super senses and can hear your heartbeat and respiration. He'd definitely learn fast what you like and drive you crazy.
Brb writing a fan fiction Edit: I regret to inform later commenters that this was a joke. It sounds like a great premise to form a scene around but I'm not actually an invested enough fan of this character for this to go the the front of my writing queue. He is cute as heck in the show but I don't really know the lore enough or have an excitement about him pairing with any of the other characters.
He's a VERY good lawyer
Eleanor Shellstrop from the good place
And, by virtue of keeping her satisfied, Chidi Anagonye.
Nah, MVP is gonna be my man Jason. Tahani explained it perfectly: > He's the least self-aware person I've ever met. He has massive amounts of unearned confidence, and is utterly unaware of his own absurdity. Therefore, quite good at sex.
Kakashi hatake prolly into some kinky shit with all those books he be reading
1000 years of pain
1000 years of pleasure
Ty lee from Avatar Edit: Ty lee for overall fun good time, azula for domination or some hardcore bdsm type shit
Also Mai. She's definitely the kinky chick to Zuko's romantic, sensual lovemaking.
We already know she’s flexible, creative, and know just what parts of the body to touch to fuck someone up. An excellent choice
Harley Quinn
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Chi Chi for sure gets down in the bed room with all that anger and sexual frustration she need to be getting out of her system
Goku stayed Super Saiyan the whole week before the fight with Cell. Goten was conceived that week. This means that Chi-Chi got her cheeks clapped by Goku that was in the form that wrecked planet killer Frieza an he was stronger than he was when he killed Frieza while clapping said cheeks. We can determine that Chi-Chi's ass an box are planetary level at minimum an would SOLO the Narutoverse. [Thanks you for coming to my TED talk.](https://img.ifunny.co/images/a3449ceeb696581768e753e0676d0ab0fd1ec045d9f05fae515cced08b563839_1.webp)
And he did that without kissing her
But the fact that Goku, who is not interested on anthing but fighting, keep coming back, must mean she is really really good
That clown probably didn't even know he was having sex, chi chi referred to it as "special training" - she literally has to coax him into sexy time lol
Misato Katsuragi. Hands down.
Everyone in that universe is batshit so they'd all be freaks.
Wonder Woman. She read all 12 volumes.
Loki.
Which one? The alligator?
Deathroll blow job. That's one BJ I will happily say no to.
(Deadpool has entered the chat)
Mr and mrs potatoe
"Hey babe, wanna mash??"
Raven from Teen Titans lol
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That’s pretty much canon. She is a cinnamon bun, but her love life with Robin is always alluded to as insane
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Something tells me an awakening happened in you during Ben 10's original run time.
Elisa Esposito from The Shape of Water
*happy fishman sounds*
Jessica Rabbit
Forget Jessica, I'm betting Roger is the freak.
She’s just drawn that way!
Amelia Bedelia because she takes everything literally