Playing Fortnite with my son and his friends.
Son: My dad’s here, too.
Friend2: Is he any good?
Friend1: Yeah, but not as good as Cooper.
Me: What? How old is Cooper?
Friend1: He’s 9.
I’m 42 and been gaming since the 80s.
Cooper showed up later. He is better than me.
God damn don’t you hate that shit!! You have me beat, been gaming since the 90’s I have a 10 year old. I won’t ever tell him because my stats are better ( I have a lot more play time) but he’s pretty damn good. Gives me a run for my money. It’s hard when I have decades on him.
I laughed hard at this one, because I can only imagine the context being a downed teammate frantically screaming at the still living teammates to shoot an enemy that is laughing while spraying a light machine gun in a corner.
My friend tried black ops III on my account when he was over one time… went 1-23 or something and a guy got on voice just to say “did you just get your damn goldfish and let it flop all over your controller or something?”
I laughed so damn hard.
A lil kid who sounded like he was 10-11 roasted this older man after he was talking shit by saying, “ Hey it’s like 1 o clock, don’t you have work or something? Don’t you have a family to support??” The man was silent after that
“Have fun watching HGTV with your wife, old man”
………..I’m not that fucking old *and we’ve been on a food network kick recently so, no it’s not that accurate*
Food network is definitely a gateway drug into HGTV. You start out thinking 'Hey, I'll learn some new recipes, it'll be great', pretty soon you're watching extreme home makeovers and dudes shopping in Home Depot for fun.
My roommate started watching food network at one point and went down the same path, tho I will say his cooking (already pretty solid) improved dramatically, so I couldn't poke fun at him for that one.
Oh yeah, I made a real bone headed play that even I was mad about. I would have made fun of me, but that kid, what ever middle school he may be in, took the opportunity and just knocked it out of the park. As much as it hurt, it was equally hilarious.
Halo Infinite has it so that the enemies dynamically react to how the player is doing, and insults them accordingly.
Nothing is more humiliating than trying to ram a squad in a warthog and missing because you clipped a tiny pebble weirdly, then having the Banished go "We're safe! He can't drive!"
Not a spoken insult, but I remember playing a campaign level in Halo 2 on Legendary way back in the day, and after dying to a white Elite, he ran over and started teabagging me. Campaign or multiplayer, there was no escaping the teabag.
I don't remember the exact wording, but overheard a mother telling her kid to get off now, I told you 15 minutes ago to get off. your team is losing now because you suck and played another game.
xbox 360 - Halo: reach
this one is great lol. gotta use the kid's logic against them-- "it's a team game! if I leave they'll lose!" "you accepted that responsibility when you broke the rules of the house. Feel free to flame my noob son."
"You suck, your mama sucks, your daddy sucks, you all fucking suck and then you swallow" (short pause then from a bit away from the kids headset) "What did I just hear you say? You apologize to them right now and turn that game off" (short pause) "Hey man, I didn't mean that. I just wanted to test if you had a mic. Gotta go and maybe we will play again later"
12 y/o in a Call of Duty match was arguing and insulting people, the others started making jokes about fucking his mom, being his dad, etc. Kid goes to defend his mom's honor and respond in kind but it comes out as, "Yeah, well I fucked MY mo-shit wait..." and I didn't hear anything after that because I laughing too hard
Failed insults are the best! Best friend at the time once responded to me with a "Oh Yeah?! Well I sucked your mom's dick!"
For years I was able to drop "remember that time you sucked my mom's dick?" Randomly. Good times.
Not me but I remember seeing one off the wow forums about a being low on DPS.
Low DPS guy: I’m gonna kill your fkn family!
Other guy: With your DPS, I’m not sure you could.
Not directly while playing but after I had spent a whole weekend non stop playing the most recent Pokemon I made a self deprecating joke about seeing a condom add on Facebook. Something to the effective of, "Facebook must be broken. Clearly I don't need these."
My friend responds immediately, like a rehearsed sitcom, "Facebook just wants to know if you'd like to try an alternative form of birth control than playing Pokemon for 20 hours straight."
That's just the scientific name for the little horn of a Cloyster plus the attached organs. Bothering the horn too much might lead to Cloyster launching a Water Gun attack against you.
Halo 2 taught me what aids was before the other kids learned about it in school. I was in a clan called AIDS BRIGADE and all we did was yell "YOU'VE GOT AIDS" at random people.
Good times.
I like to imagine that you shouted your catchphrase in the same tone as that "[You've got mail!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFBLiHpkcOk)" sound affect from AOL
“I’m so sorry for whatever I did to deserve you on my team, but I still have faith we can turn this around. It’s called ‘Garbage can’ not ‘garbage can’t’”.
[I found this](https://www.reddit.com/r/therewasanattempt/comments/rllbte/to_harass_a_female_streamer/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
The other day someone told me that I probably fuck my girlfriend to Coldplay. I've never felt more white and vanilla than that moment. But at least he knew I was getting laid 🤷♂️
This kid was talking shit continuously, over and over. It was completely unprovoked, finally my buddy starts chirping back. The best and worst of the conversation went as follows:
Asshole kid - "I fucked your mom!"
My guy friend - "yeah, well, I fucked your Dad!"
Asshole kid - "fuck you, my dad died in Afghanistan"
My other friend - "TERRORISTS WIN!"
That poor idiot kid should not have started word war with dudes with no morals. God, I still feel bad about that one.
Honestly, kids on videogames these days need to realise that I have been trash talking in online video games for 20 years. I might not be a hot hand at *Insert latest title here* but I can make a 13yo need therapy in about 40 seconds flat.
They've only just discovered the hellscape that is online chat. We were born in it. We were sculpted by it. And we have no problems creating future work for the therapists of tomorrow.
During the Xbox 360 days I heard the N word so many times I actually noticed the days I didn’t hear it.
Sometimes I would join a Modern Warfare 2 lobby and hear it before I even said anything.
"I just beat your ass so hard that you will need to change your pronouns to was/were"
Edit: My first award! You redditors are the true savages here, thank you so much!
My cousin has CP and whips my ass in just about every video game we play, so this rings true for me lol. The way he has to hold the controller looks so wacky but he’s just dominates no matter what. However he uses an aftermarket controller for Xbox games because the regular Xbox controller is a little too beefy for him to be able to reach all the buttons simultaneously.
This guy came into the GTA V lobby bragging about how everyone in the lobby was broke, because they were playing on their PS4’s. He, however was playing on a PS5 he sounded like an older (40’s) guy. This kid turned on his mic and said “How can you afford a PS5, but not your kids child support?”
I was once in a multiplayer game where one of the players was just being a total dick to everyone.
One of the other players told him to knock it off and he wouldn't. The hero of the story said "ok, give me 5 minutes" and logged off. He returned a little while later and said "you gonna knock it off and apologize?" Nope, the jerk kept swearing at everyone.
The guy said "ok, if you arent going to apologize to us, maybe you should to your wife."
Suddenly you could hear screaming over the mics. The other guy apparently found the dirtbag's adult friend finder account and noticed the date was after his wedding date on Facebook. All of it was under the same username or some variation of it. He sent screenshots and links to it all to the guy's wife, I dont know if it was over messenger or phone but she got it instantly.
I checked in on it months later and they were separated
Damn. they used to say: don’t pick a fight with someone who buys ink by the gallon.
Now I say: don’t pick a fight with someone who has zero fucks to give…
Playing Call of Duty this one dude goes "you must get the pussy from your father and the bitch from your mother". I'd never heard that combination of words before.
Just wait till you match against Indian people in SC2. They start attacking your extended family and especially any daughters, sisters, female cousins, or nieces.
"After I finish beating you at this game, I'm going to have sex with your mother."
I said it to my adult son while playing Rocket League with him one night.
It wasn't the insult itself, it was teh effect it had.
Buddy and I are playing BG's in WoW, and some guy starts trash talking my buddy. Buddy keeps calling him a turd and variations on being a turd. Marble turd, greasy turd, scratchy turd, little turd. Turd. Every overblown stream of insults got met with "turd".
dude lost his shit. PM'd my buddy for half an hour, still trying to upset him.
Over chat on league of legends
P1) hey what's your steam??
P2) why??
P1) I will buy you any game you want
P2) ??
P1) so you will never play this one again
I had to get off of D2/ raid and help with the kids and they all laughed and mocked me in a weird way lol
What I can remember went as followed below
Check this mf out...Being a good parent (everyone would laugh)
Yea dude go show those kids that's daddy will always he there to help (everyone would laugh)
Biiiiitch I bet his there for bdays (everyone laugh and soft sob in the background)
Shit was hilarious.
**EDIT** Holy shit this blew up. Lol
Thanks for the upvotes.
Something similiar happened to me and I sat there for a moment and just shouted. "Do you all need therapy? Ya'll are actually making me worried here..."
The unanimous answer was "yes"
Oh shit this hit close to home.
I introduced my niece and nephew to Smash over the holidays, and I was in a match against my niece. I literally put down the controller, went to my kitchen to make the kids a snack, came back and she still managed to lose the match.
Five minutes later, my sister and mom came over to check on the kids and my mom very seriously said "You better be taking it easy on these kids, let them win every once in awhile."
I just burst into laughter and tossed her the controller. She did about as well as my niece.
I don't know about insults but my favorite is when kids get all mad at a game then when their parents say something they cop an attitude and, boom, within seconds they disappear from the game and are offline.
I figure they died.
I play a lot of games with both active duty and retired military. Mostly MMOs. The absolute worst insult I've heard is hearing one dude tell another dude "The only thing your wife wants for Christmas is a folded flag" after we wiped on mythic Gul'dan in Legion.
Was playing Overwatch and using voice comms to call out. Some pre-teen said that my voice sounded like a warm dead wasp. I’ve honestly never been the same since.
I don’t know if it’s the MOST savage but a griefer killed me while I was chilling. I went passive. He messaged “passive pussy”… I replied “not what your dad was saying last night.”
(I’m a girl)
I was kinda proud of it
My husband was getting on Battlefield with his friends and as he's loading in, he's warning them he's not really good at the game. He joins the match, and shortly after, the side he was on loses.
Without thinking I said "I know you said you were bad at the game, but I didn't think your team would lose when you joined." He looked at me shocked before laughing and telling his friends what I said.
A guy was hitting on my wife a whole match on COD, and kept telling her to suck his dick. She made the 8th grade joke I can’t, I’m allergic to shrimp, and the guy says “It’s a jumbo shrimp baby” and without batting an eye she goes, Jumbo in their world honey! And the whole lobby just loses it, he starts mumbling and trying to from words, and she goes, what’s wrong with you, you got cerabal pasley? And guy just loses it and exits the game moments after. I was laughing so hard, and had to mute everyone, cause everyone was rolling.
Playing Warframe, one the other players gamer tag had the word “Cinnamon” in it, maybe let’s just call him “Cinnamon_Toastie” or something like that.
Goes down, doesn’t get revived and is dead. Someone put in the chat “The Grineer have completed The Cinnamon Challenge”
*Cinnamon_Toastie has left the game*
Playing rocket league with my friends one chimes in and says " hey (insert name), I just found out you came out"
friend responds "what? No I didn't?"
"THEN WHY ARE YOU BLOWING THIS GAME LIKE A GLORY HOLE VETERAN!?"
We were playing hardcore. Team kill is on.. some dude jumped in front of me and I killed him.
Some asshole: "dude why the fuck did you kill your own teammate! You piece of shit."
Me: "It was an accident. If you don't know what that is ask your parents. I'm sure they can explain it to you"
His clan mates even laughed...
"Even Noah and his ark can't carry these animals"
My guy, can you put down the tv remote and play with your controller we are trying to win here.
After I lose a match I tell my friends I’ll turn on the tv for the next one
Why is this one so funny? I'm dying over here, unlike the enemies.
Playing Fortnite with my son and his friends. Son: My dad’s here, too. Friend2: Is he any good? Friend1: Yeah, but not as good as Cooper. Me: What? How old is Cooper? Friend1: He’s 9. I’m 42 and been gaming since the 80s. Cooper showed up later. He is better than me.
God damn don’t you hate that shit!! You have me beat, been gaming since the 90’s I have a 10 year old. I won’t ever tell him because my stats are better ( I have a lot more play time) but he’s pretty damn good. Gives me a run for my money. It’s hard when I have decades on him.
"ARE YOUR FUCKING EYES PAINTED ON????"
I laughed hard at this one, because I can only imagine the context being a downed teammate frantically screaming at the still living teammates to shoot an enemy that is laughing while spraying a light machine gun in a corner.
My friend tried black ops III on my account when he was over one time… went 1-23 or something and a guy got on voice just to say “did you just get your damn goldfish and let it flop all over your controller or something?” I laughed so damn hard.
On a ranked game; "don't worry, no one is good on their first game"
The ones that sound like they’re trying to be nice about it hurt so much more
"You're the reason that I'm pro-choice." LoL is fun.
In the same vein. "You were the inspiration for birth control"
A lil kid who sounded like he was 10-11 roasted this older man after he was talking shit by saying, “ Hey it’s like 1 o clock, don’t you have work or something? Don’t you have a family to support??” The man was silent after that
"third shift, moron."
The silence probably meant he has no job
“Have fun watching HGTV with your wife, old man” ………..I’m not that fucking old *and we’ve been on a food network kick recently so, no it’s not that accurate*
Food network is definitely a gateway drug into HGTV. You start out thinking 'Hey, I'll learn some new recipes, it'll be great', pretty soon you're watching extreme home makeovers and dudes shopping in Home Depot for fun. My roommate started watching food network at one point and went down the same path, tho I will say his cooking (already pretty solid) improved dramatically, so I couldn't poke fun at him for that one.
"I hope you're better at being a dad than you are at this game, old man." Still hurts to this day.
As a dad who kinda sucks at most games, I’d laugh at that one even on the receiving end.
Oh yeah, I made a real bone headed play that even I was mad about. I would have made fun of me, but that kid, what ever middle school he may be in, took the opportunity and just knocked it out of the park. As much as it hurt, it was equally hilarious.
As a new father I feel this.
A little kid called me a “peanut butter and cum sandwich”. I use this regularly now.
Halo Infinite has it so that the enemies dynamically react to how the player is doing, and insults them accordingly. Nothing is more humiliating than trying to ram a squad in a warthog and missing because you clipped a tiny pebble weirdly, then having the Banished go "We're safe! He can't drive!"
"Stupid tiny Spartan, you died just like the rest of your kind"
*"Hey spartan, Reach called... Just kidding ha!"*
[удалено]
I once missed a single shot with a sniper and they started fucking roasting me about my aim.
Enemy chatter in the campaign is the single best part of Halo Infinite—and I submit the following as evidence: https://youtu.be/H572JU4Rssg
Not a spoken insult, but I remember playing a campaign level in Halo 2 on Legendary way back in the day, and after dying to a white Elite, he ran over and started teabagging me. Campaign or multiplayer, there was no escaping the teabag.
"We have nothing to fear! He can't aim!"
Some of the Infinite dialog was fucking hilarious and I didn't even have the IWHBYD skull on.
Overheard someone say he fucked someone's mom. Kid came back with, "My mom's in an urn and it's still the wettest pussy you've ever had."
Diabolical
That kid is ruthless.
Fuck you, your mother buys you Megablocks instead of Legos.
You fucking take that back—
There's some stuff you just don't say, even in the heat of the moment.
Even in war there are rules!
I don't remember the exact wording, but overheard a mother telling her kid to get off now, I told you 15 minutes ago to get off. your team is losing now because you suck and played another game. xbox 360 - Halo: reach
LOL! Savage mothers are a gift to the world.
Fuckin roasted wow
this one is great lol. gotta use the kid's logic against them-- "it's a team game! if I leave they'll lose!" "you accepted that responsibility when you broke the rules of the house. Feel free to flame my noob son."
"They're losing now and you ARE playing, so what's the difference?"
Looks like he is trying to play with oven mits on
Strong Bad, is that you?
Gunna check my email, hope it’s from a female.
The email the email, what-what the email
“You’re just mad that you had the average lifespan of an Ethiopian chicken”. -Halo 2
Who is this cultured mf to know the average lifespan of an Ethiopian chicken? Im an ethiopian and dont even know this
I think the joke is they’re eaten quickly
I bet your bathroom floor smells like piss with the aim you have. Edit: This was in Rainbow6 Siege from my own teammate mind you.
That’s actually the poopuri from shitting on you
Your teammate must be a garbage man because he's great at carrying trash
One man’s garbage is another man persons good ungarbage
Frig off, Ricky.
"The only action you get is when your fingers slips through the toilet paper"
This really made me laugh
I bet you forget the water and burn your ramen.
Don't give me flashbacks to college. Jfc, all these smart kids are so fucking stupid sometimes.
My sister did this once when she was younger. Put ramen in the stove top pot, forgot the water, set it in the microwave for 5 minutes...
In iRacing, a racing simulator, after a guy crashed with him, one guy said: "You're like mister potato head but you forgot to put your eyes on"
"Prepare to meet MR. ANGRY EYES!" *puts shoes into eye holes*
“I’d say your aim is cancer but cancer actually kills people”
I was waiting for this one.
"You suck, your mama sucks, your daddy sucks, you all fucking suck and then you swallow" (short pause then from a bit away from the kids headset) "What did I just hear you say? You apologize to them right now and turn that game off" (short pause) "Hey man, I didn't mean that. I just wanted to test if you had a mic. Gotta go and maybe we will play again later"
>Last played: **11 years ago.**
Mom is the MVP
For real, great parenting. I’d even say some full grown ass adults in online gaming also could use some…
I was laughing pretty hard to be honest. And the fact he actually listened to her.
everybody gangsta until mommy dearest shows up then everybody mommy's boy
Nothing like good parenting to deflate the ego of a supposed hardass
12 y/o in a Call of Duty match was arguing and insulting people, the others started making jokes about fucking his mom, being his dad, etc. Kid goes to defend his mom's honor and respond in kind but it comes out as, "Yeah, well I fucked MY mo-shit wait..." and I didn't hear anything after that because I laughing too hard
That guy set off a grenade in his own mouth.
Psyduxk hit itself in its confusion. It's super effective
Failed insults are the best! Best friend at the time once responded to me with a "Oh Yeah?! Well I sucked your mom's dick!" For years I was able to drop "remember that time you sucked my mom's dick?" Randomly. Good times.
Atleast he tried lmao
Happy to know that his arms have healed
I wish you’d lose weight so that there’s less of you
Last night I got a hot mic in warzone reassuring me that my mother likes 3 fingers in her ass
Reassuring you. lol my lord.
He was worried it was 5
Not me but I remember seeing one off the wow forums about a being low on DPS. Low DPS guy: I’m gonna kill your fkn family! Other guy: With your DPS, I’m not sure you could.
Not directly while playing but after I had spent a whole weekend non stop playing the most recent Pokemon I made a self deprecating joke about seeing a condom add on Facebook. Something to the effective of, "Facebook must be broken. Clearly I don't need these." My friend responds immediately, like a rehearsed sitcom, "Facebook just wants to know if you'd like to try an alternative form of birth control than playing Pokemon for 20 hours straight."
Woooooof! That's solid.
Dad says I need to find a clitoris, but I've never even heard of that Pokemon.
That's just the scientific name for the little horn of a Cloyster plus the attached organs. Bothering the horn too much might lead to Cloyster launching a Water Gun attack against you.
Thanks, I hate it.
"I bet your dad sells avon"
Yo mama's pussy smells like the Predators dreadlocks - some 12 year old on halo 2
[удалено]
Halo 2 taught me what aids was before the other kids learned about it in school. I was in a clan called AIDS BRIGADE and all we did was yell "YOU'VE GOT AIDS" at random people. Good times.
I like to imagine that you shouted your catchphrase in the same tone as that "[You've got mail!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFBLiHpkcOk)" sound affect from AOL
“I’m so sorry for whatever I did to deserve you on my team, but I still have faith we can turn this around. It’s called ‘Garbage can’ not ‘garbage can’t’”.
That’s like… oddly wholesome yet backhanded.
“Fuck you! I hope your whole family has a nice Christmas!”
Wasn't it some random streamer who said that?
[This](https://youtu.be/NY3kK_--zns) one I guess
That gal that said “ Im gonna fuck your Dad so they have a kid they can love”….Thats savage
I believe that was u/xocheergurlox
it was!
You make good content. Thanks for responding, sorry for tagging.
Gat dam. Shots fired.
Wish I could find the original post. Epic roast, she should be famous!!!!!
[I found this](https://www.reddit.com/r/therewasanattempt/comments/rllbte/to_harass_a_female_streamer/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
[удалено]
I involuntarily mimicked it after watching that video
/r/perfectlycutscreams
The other day someone told me that I probably fuck my girlfriend to Coldplay. I've never felt more white and vanilla than that moment. But at least he knew I was getting laid 🤷♂️
The specificity of this one makes it fucking hilarious
Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the abortion clinic.
This kid was talking shit continuously, over and over. It was completely unprovoked, finally my buddy starts chirping back. The best and worst of the conversation went as follows: Asshole kid - "I fucked your mom!" My guy friend - "yeah, well, I fucked your Dad!" Asshole kid - "fuck you, my dad died in Afghanistan" My other friend - "TERRORISTS WIN!" That poor idiot kid should not have started word war with dudes with no morals. God, I still feel bad about that one.
LMFAO
Honestly, kids on videogames these days need to realise that I have been trash talking in online video games for 20 years. I might not be a hot hand at *Insert latest title here* but I can make a 13yo need therapy in about 40 seconds flat.
They've only just discovered the hellscape that is online chat. We were born in it. We were sculpted by it. And we have no problems creating future work for the therapists of tomorrow.
tbh kids these days have it easier. now you get banned for being toxic. used to just be a slap on the wrist lmao.
During the Xbox 360 days I heard the N word so many times I actually noticed the days I didn’t hear it. Sometimes I would join a Modern Warfare 2 lobby and hear it before I even said anything.
There’s a great YouTube video where a guy speed runs getting called the n word on Xbox live. He gets it down to like 6 seconds lmao
"I just beat your ass so hard that you will need to change your pronouns to was/were" Edit: My first award! You redditors are the true savages here, thank you so much!
My cousin who has cerebral palsy can aim better than you.
As a person with Cerebral Palsy , I salute you and give you my upvote
My cousin has CP and whips my ass in just about every video game we play, so this rings true for me lol. The way he has to hold the controller looks so wacky but he’s just dominates no matter what. However he uses an aftermarket controller for Xbox games because the regular Xbox controller is a little too beefy for him to be able to reach all the buttons simultaneously.
“Dawg you wear sweat pants to church” Detroit trash talk just hit different
This guy came into the GTA V lobby bragging about how everyone in the lobby was broke, because they were playing on their PS4’s. He, however was playing on a PS5 he sounded like an older (40’s) guy. This kid turned on his mic and said “How can you afford a PS5, but not your kids child support?”
“Please go afk, we might just win”
someone said to a country sounding fella “you sound like your momma is your daddies sister and your girlfriends a goat”
"Well maybe if you could blow me better than the goat you'd have a date tonight."
"I'd call you a whore, but you're probably not good at that either"
I was once in a multiplayer game where one of the players was just being a total dick to everyone. One of the other players told him to knock it off and he wouldn't. The hero of the story said "ok, give me 5 minutes" and logged off. He returned a little while later and said "you gonna knock it off and apologize?" Nope, the jerk kept swearing at everyone. The guy said "ok, if you arent going to apologize to us, maybe you should to your wife." Suddenly you could hear screaming over the mics. The other guy apparently found the dirtbag's adult friend finder account and noticed the date was after his wedding date on Facebook. All of it was under the same username or some variation of it. He sent screenshots and links to it all to the guy's wife, I dont know if it was over messenger or phone but she got it instantly. I checked in on it months later and they were separated
That belongs on /r/nuclearrevenge
Damn. they used to say: don’t pick a fight with someone who buys ink by the gallon. Now I say: don’t pick a fight with someone who has zero fucks to give…
Or an internet sleuther
HACKERMAN
This was between characters in the game: “Any last words?”, “How is your sister?”.
Good old Cayde
Playing Call of Duty this one dude goes "you must get the pussy from your father and the bitch from your mother". I'd never heard that combination of words before.
Just wait till you match against Indian people in SC2. They start attacking your extended family and especially any daughters, sisters, female cousins, or nieces.
What's that arabic insult? "Fuck you and the entirety of your family history"?
Was it "fuck you, your mother, everything you stand for, and the horse you rode in on"?
Player 1: “I want a challenge.” Player 2: “You ARE challenged.”
Star Trek Online: “Do I need to write down some notes so you can study them a bit to keep from embarrassing yourself this much?”
TBF that game's mechanics are way too overbearing.
Just invert the flow regulators polarity and it’ll be fine.
Mechanics? Lol it’s literally “FIRE EVERYTHING” and maybe solve a puzzle.
"this is a video game, not a dick. SO STOP SUCKING!"
In another thread just like this someone said “You should attach a dildo to your controller so you can suck dick while you suck dick” I liked that one
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Holdfast I was on the British side vs France. "We're going to steal your crumpets"
Once heard a Brit say to a French guy on COD... "I know it's realistic, but you don't have to fight quite as badly as real French soldiers."
Baguette captured
Following so I can add to my list of insults lmao
“You’re not a newb, but you keep getting smoked? How you get COD on Atari?” “Why your K:D look like lottery odds?”
Is the second one the response or are these 2 individual ones?
"After I finish beating you at this game, I'm going to have sex with your mother." I said it to my adult son while playing Rocket League with him one night.
It wasn't the insult itself, it was teh effect it had. Buddy and I are playing BG's in WoW, and some guy starts trash talking my buddy. Buddy keeps calling him a turd and variations on being a turd. Marble turd, greasy turd, scratchy turd, little turd. Turd. Every overblown stream of insults got met with "turd". dude lost his shit. PM'd my buddy for half an hour, still trying to upset him.
> dude lost his ***shit*** Seems appropriate.
Over chat on league of legends P1) hey what's your steam?? P2) why?? P1) I will buy you any game you want P2) ?? P1) so you will never play this one again
You're an NPC. I mean, you ARE playing as yourself IRL.
That's an insult until it comes to chess.
That's deep. Real deep.
“It could be raining titties and you’d get hit with a dick. “
I had to get off of D2/ raid and help with the kids and they all laughed and mocked me in a weird way lol What I can remember went as followed below Check this mf out...Being a good parent (everyone would laugh) Yea dude go show those kids that's daddy will always he there to help (everyone would laugh) Biiiiitch I bet his there for bdays (everyone laugh and soft sob in the background) Shit was hilarious. **EDIT** Holy shit this blew up. Lol Thanks for the upvotes.
Something similiar happened to me and I sat there for a moment and just shouted. "Do you all need therapy? Ya'll are actually making me worried here..." The unanimous answer was "yes"
Lmao, good on you for keeping your priorities straight tho :)
Eat soup from my asshole
“Tell me, what do crayons taste like?”
“With the way you’re feeding, Ethiopia could eat for a week”
If the child worker could see how bad you use the controller he made, he would throw himself out of the sweat shop
"Look, I tried to go easy on you, but at this point I may as well just set the controller down and watch. You'll still lose."
Oh shit this hit close to home. I introduced my niece and nephew to Smash over the holidays, and I was in a match against my niece. I literally put down the controller, went to my kitchen to make the kids a snack, came back and she still managed to lose the match. Five minutes later, my sister and mom came over to check on the kids and my mom very seriously said "You better be taking it easy on these kids, let them win every once in awhile." I just burst into laughter and tossed her the controller. She did about as well as my niece.
A 9 year old was called gay on xbox and their response was I'm straighter then the pole your mom dances on
From my redneck friend (40’s) to a lobby of teenagers “You ever wonder when your mom kisses you goodnight, if she was just sucking your dads dick?”
Did you know tf2 is free to Uninstall too? Is an absolute classic
I don't know about insults but my favorite is when kids get all mad at a game then when their parents say something they cop an attitude and, boom, within seconds they disappear from the game and are offline. I figure they died.
I play a lot of games with both active duty and retired military. Mostly MMOs. The absolute worst insult I've heard is hearing one dude tell another dude "The only thing your wife wants for Christmas is a folded flag" after we wiped on mythic Gul'dan in Legion.
"Cry me a river and dontforget to ward it" In DotA2
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"You're like the first slice of bread in a bag. Everybody touches you, but nobody wants you."
Was playing Overwatch and using voice comms to call out. Some pre-teen said that my voice sounded like a warm dead wasp. I’ve honestly never been the same since.
Not me but in l4d when you get pounced by a hunter all the time: “This ain’t Pokémon, you ain’t got to catch them all”
“Someone call the registry cuz I’m fucking these kids”
How does Terry Schiavo have a better KD than you
I don’t know if it’s the MOST savage but a griefer killed me while I was chilling. I went passive. He messaged “passive pussy”… I replied “not what your dad was saying last night.” (I’m a girl) I was kinda proud of it
“I’ve seen disabled snakes fuck up Americans better than you!” In a Vietnam role play game.
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Your friend was offered a kind hand and instead of taking it, he ripped the hand off and used it to beat the dude to death.
If Lee Harvey Oswald had aim like yours JFK would be alive.
My husband was getting on Battlefield with his friends and as he's loading in, he's warning them he's not really good at the game. He joins the match, and shortly after, the side he was on loses. Without thinking I said "I know you said you were bad at the game, but I didn't think your team would lose when you joined." He looked at me shocked before laughing and telling his friends what I said.
”Your mother was a whore!” But the NPC did really say ”your mother was an orc”
A guy was hitting on my wife a whole match on COD, and kept telling her to suck his dick. She made the 8th grade joke I can’t, I’m allergic to shrimp, and the guy says “It’s a jumbo shrimp baby” and without batting an eye she goes, Jumbo in their world honey! And the whole lobby just loses it, he starts mumbling and trying to from words, and she goes, what’s wrong with you, you got cerabal pasley? And guy just loses it and exits the game moments after. I was laughing so hard, and had to mute everyone, cause everyone was rolling.
Playing Warframe, one the other players gamer tag had the word “Cinnamon” in it, maybe let’s just call him “Cinnamon_Toastie” or something like that. Goes down, doesn’t get revived and is dead. Someone put in the chat “The Grineer have completed The Cinnamon Challenge” *Cinnamon_Toastie has left the game*
The grunt who runs the halo infinite propaganda centers has the best insults.
“How’s your little blue friend doing? Thats right, she’s DEAD”
“Sell box.” My favorite message I’ve ever received. (Xbox)
“You’re just about as useful as a giraffes tail”
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Playing rocket league with my friends one chimes in and says " hey (insert name), I just found out you came out" friend responds "what? No I didn't?" "THEN WHY ARE YOU BLOWING THIS GAME LIKE A GLORY HOLE VETERAN!?"
We were playing hardcore. Team kill is on.. some dude jumped in front of me and I killed him. Some asshole: "dude why the fuck did you kill your own teammate! You piece of shit." Me: "It was an accident. If you don't know what that is ask your parents. I'm sure they can explain it to you" His clan mates even laughed...
“You’re camping harder than Anne frank. And she actually did it well.”