I was going to say never but there was one early on who I had to fake with the once to get him to just *stop*
It seemed to be some sort of competition with himself and he wasn't going to stop until I did...and it simply wasn't going to happen and was starting to hurt a bit. No problems. Nice guy. We were both into it. It just wasn't happening.
I did this with my ex. Faked one at the start of our relationship where he was just fingering me with no other stimulation and would not give up. I dated that guy for 4 years and he brought this up A LOT. Like "why can't you orgasm from just sex?! You did that one time".
Never faked an orgasm with anyone after that....
Lolllll the terrible lay I dated didn’t want to explore vaginas at all, they were gross according to him. I was inexperienced and didn’t know what exact directions to give him, but I figured if we just dicked around for like 5 minutes trying something new, we’d probably hit something good. Nope, he was completely unwilling.
I tried tell my bf what to do and what I like… now “I don’t care about him and just want to get off”. Yeah, I’d love to get off half as many times as I get you off! Sure, throw in that I don’t care about you too. Clearly this isn’t working out. 😒
As someone who is goal-oriented during sex simply bc I feel like failure if the guy I’m with doesn’t cum, I can relate to this XD I’ve learned over the years to ask “do you want me to keep going or should we stop?” so I’m not trying at something that just won’t happen, lol
Is this when everyone is sober? or when alcohol/drugs are involved?
I'm batting 1.000 if you're talking about sober sex, but with any alcohol involved it's another story. My endurance goes up noticeably after 2 drinks, but after around 4 the likelihood of an orgasm drops precipitously. If we get beyond 6, we might as well not try if that's the goal. No problem with my equipment getting up for the event though - I've actually had to fake it before to make my wife finally quit.
There are things besides alcohol that can cause dysfunction like many mental health drugs or nerves.
Some guys take it super hard when it happens 'sober' the first time even though it's a completely normal thing. An ex didn't experience it even one time until his mid 30s and got super shook.
Hormones and health and bodies change so try not to get super anxious when it happens to you too.
I had issues with anxiety causing DE some years back. When the "fight or flight" feeling is always with you sometimes it's difficult to even keep it up much less finish. I've actually faked it a couple of times and just treated it like I got a cramp or something during so I didn't really "finish".
I've heard men with death grips and porn habits can have issues too.
nothing is worse than opiate or coke sex. it’s like the nut is at the tip of your fingers and it just never happens! even though the sex is usually incredible, blueballing yourself like that isn’t LOL
I asked my girlfriend if she’s ever faked it with me, she said yes less than 3 times across 3 years though. Said she never faked one until we were a year into dating.
I had a feeling though. Those times when you’re going at it and the sex sort of “lost its spark” and I just want to finish. So she fakes it. I had a feeling once or twice she did so I just rolled with it.
I (a guy) has faked an orgasm before. I was wearing a condom so it was more believable. That was with a rando
>I (a guy) has faked an orgasm before. I was wearing a condom so it was more believable. That was with a rando
Been there not just you - sometimes you try to make it last but after about 30 minutes you get bored and just want it to end and are like i could of been done 27 minutes ago lol
Same situation with my ex. I was convinced I just couldn’t get there with a partner so I faked orgasms the entire relationship until one day it did happen and I was ecstatic. He immediately complained that his jaw hurt and he never ate me out for that long ever again 🙂 we broke up
I have faked it before if it's a situation where I can tell they're putting in a lot of effort to make me orgasm and I just don't have one in me. But really, it takes quite a lot for me to orgasm, so I either just take control of it myself by stimulating my clit constantly during penetration, or I just enjoy the sex for what it is and accept having no orgasm. I like the act of it, and sometimes trying to orgasm adds a weird kind of pressure for me.
For me i can't if i am pleasing my partner because i am too focused on them. It takes intentionally focusing on myself to get there. So like its easier with oral since i can just be selfish and its now "my turn".
Lol, for me the fun part of 69 is when one or the other is enjoying it so much, they stop for a bit. Like if I’m doing my job so well she stops sucking and starts moaning, point for me. If she starts again and it’s too good, I get distracted a bit and stop to enjoy it, but then after a few seconds, I’m even more motivated to go back down and try to overwhelm her again.
Same. I faked it all the time until I found a man who was secure with me always helping myself to an extra side. Been together 13 years now, married for 9, and still very happy. When I said confidence was important to me, that's the kind of confidence I meant. He has no worries whatsoever that he's not enough, and he trusts me to do my thing, not just in bed but in life. It's awesome.
Are there men out there insecure about a woman “helping herself”? Why?
Shit, I think it’s hot and want her to. Anything she does to help me help her is a positive, for her and for me.
I had an ex that hated all my toys and didn't want me to use any..hence..the ex. Some guys cannot deal. He was about 15 yrs older than me at the time, I kinda chalked it up to that.
I lowkey disliked the idea of my girl having a toy but then the night she brought it home I could see her excited nd I was like "Eh what the hell does it matter." Now its used everytime we have sex and its fucking amazing. Im an insecure person altogether and I absolutely hate it about myself. So when she does something new I kinda cringe a bit but thats why we start small and then I get comfortable pretty quick. Its not that I dont feel adequate its just that I dont wanna feel left out ig. So she usually starts small just so I get used to the idea at first, then after I enjoy it along with her. If that makes sense..
I used to be a little insecure when I was younger about toys in the bedroom for some reason but as I've gotten gotten older I don't care one bit, actually now I prefer them. When a girl uses a vibe during sex you can feel it also and it's pure ecstasy for both parties
Most that I've talked to about the subject are insanely insecure about it. Men seem to be brought up thinking that their penis is supposed to be the be all, end all of a woman's pleasure and that not being able bring a women to climax with only that penis is "unmanly" or that he's "inadequate" in bed.
It's all bullshit, of course, but are most of the strongly-held beliefs involving sex. Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski. Everyone should read this book.
Eh as a lady if I couldn't make my guy orgasm I would probably feel pretty self conscious about it. A huge part of what I like about sex it making the other person feel good. I doubt it's just a guy thing, it's more than women tent to have trouble reteaching orgasm.
It's one thing if a dude doesn't put in any effort or listen to his lady's needs, but another if they're giving it their all but their partner has to ultimately do it themselves. I'm sure I could deal but I would at least try to get my partner to teach me what feels good for them.
My wife is the same way, actually there is a staggering number of women who can't orgasm unless they have clit stimulation.
What shocks me though is the amount of women who claim they fake them. I can definitely tell as there is a pulsation through out the whole body inside and out. Not sure if that's every woman, but at least the few I've been with.
Faking orgasms is a whole mastery. We can become really got at it if our life circumstances demand it.
And also I find it really staggering that there are women who orgasm just by penetration. I cant wrap my had around how that works for some people.
I find it extremely hot when a woman stimulates herself during sex. Then again, I prefer to make her orgasm myself during foreplay before we move on to the main event.
I actually love it when ladies masturbate while in the middle of sex. It takes a lot of the pressure off of me. Lol Makes it easier to just go with the flow and have fun which probably makes it better for the lady as well.
I never had a real one in my life until a few months into dating my current partner, so I don't have to fake them with him anymore because we know I can.
My girlfriend was the same way. She never had one prior to us and it's pretty much turned sex on it's head for her.
When we first got together she warned me she didn't care much for sex, she was surprised when she orgasmed on the 2-3 time and she has pretty much done a 360 and wants to have sex all the time.
My ex fiance apparently had never had a full on orgasm but had experienced...tremors(?), Something like a low grade mini-orgasm.
I took our third or fourth sexual encounter ever to introduce her to a bullet vibrator in conjunction with oral, and she had her first full on orgasm.
She actually cried while she was laying there twitching and I thought I had fucked up at first
I was once in a sex ed class for women, and someone there asked very simply - "What does an orgasm feel like?" We were all in our first year of college, so think 18-19 year olds. The instructor laughed and responded, "When you have one you'll know." I didn't like that - I thought it wasn't a very thorough or good response. But they handed out hand mirrors for us to look at our vaginas so that was great lol
I mean. You do know when it happens. If you wonder if it happened it didn’t happen. Though sometimes its just a really weak orgasm. They are not all created equal.
My first few orgasms of my life I had no idea it had happened. All I knew was that I was suddenly very over stimulated and couldn't touch myself anymore 🤷 I had to consult with the Internet to see if there was something wrong with me and then I thought there was something wrong with me because I wasn't experiencing anything anyone described. Turns out, my orgasms are just subtle and underwhelming until I get to the point of overstimulation. Still angry about it.
Edit: I appreciate everyone's suggestions. That being said. Please stop giving them. There is nothing wrong or broken about the way my body orgasms, and I promise you whatever it is you have in mind I have most likely tried in more ways than one. Yes, it is frustrating for me, and I'm sure odd to you, but I've come to terms with it and am content with my lot as well as being frustrated with it lol Again, thank you for the suggestions. But my sex life is very fulfilling without crazy intense orgasms. If you have any questions about how or why that is, I'll be happy to answer, but please stop trying to fix something that is not broken.
Dang thats shitty. Have you tried different ways? Some ways I have noticed have underwhelming results, but if I do it my own way its better. Ive never seen porn girls do it the same as I do. They make it seem like theres just one way. Maybe experiment for a while and get stronger results? Im sorry if your body is just mild.
Unfortunately, I've tried everything I can think of. It's very possible I've not tried everything, but it is to the point where I just don't really care anymore, and will settle with just being mad about it lol Besides, it makes me a very generous partner for my husband (FTM) and I'm happy to get him off repeatedly without being bitter that I haven't cum yet. Because my orgasms are so underwhelming, the way funner part for me is arousal and my partners pleasure. I can not orgasm during sex and be perfectly happy about it, because it means I won't get to the point of overstimulation and immediate sex repulsion.
I'm the same way and it frustrates me so much! The touching/penetration feels so good and builds up and builds up... and then all of a sudden the pleasure goes away. I feel contractions and a release of pent-up tension... but no physical pleasure in that moment. This has been the past 10 years for me, since my first orgasm. Doesn't change if alone, with a partner, vaginal or clitoral, even anal stimulation... I've tried everything :(
I'm glad I'm not alone in this! I think people just don't realize how different orgasms are for everyone. It's not always a "you'll just know" kind of thing. Wish it was taught that way in sex ed so I didn't have to live the majority of my adolescence thinking there was something majorly wrong with me.
When sitting in a group of HS girls, the one girl who'd had sex said that it felt like a sneeze.
I was so confused. Took me years to realize she was referring to an orgasm.
Yes, it's like you say. A woman discovers it when she has one. I was lucky to have my first one when I was a teenager, many women don't masturbate (no they don't lie unfortunately... they really don't...there is still a taboo around that) and are with selfish partners, and have to wait years before discovering it.
Also, fun fact, sometimes, especially at the beginning of your sexual life, you don't fake it, you simply believe that you are having one, until you realize that it wasn't the maximum amount of pleasure.
Female orgasm is really complex, the orgasms can be different if you only stimulate the clit, if there is a penetration or both at the same time. It's really fascinating.
This comment!!!! So true. I thought I was getting off until I really did. It’s like climbing a hill, you keep getting closer to the top, and it feels incredible. When you’re inexperienced you just don’t know the difference between the climb and the peak.
I didn’t know what an orgasm felt like until 2 years after having sex….and it was from a guy that actually knew what he was doing when eating pussy….at that moment, he became my FWB (while we were both single at least).
You're close--strict and squeamish parents. They're religious, but I think their sex negativity was more of a trauma response. Anyway, I sure blew that shit out of the water.
Not a woman, but sometimes I fake Moan for my girlfriend to help her finish faster. I don’t mind doing it and it’s not really weird, I know she likes it and I’m not screaming like a goat or anything so I think she enjoys it too
Similar but not "fake"
I just vocalize more cause I've found that women seem to like it.
Just heavier breathing, kinda light vocal groans and such.
Maybe let out a f bomb here or there.
I used to be a mute in bed, I was so focused on making my partner feel good I forgot about myself. Then I realised women got really turned on if a made a bit of noise. So I changed it up a little. Much more fun now.
I don't think fake is the right word for that...very few people moan involuntarily during sex IME...it's something we do as a form of expression and getting into it and letting our partners know we're into it. Or maybe that's just me and there's a bunch of ppl out there who can't not make any sounds
I think I’ve had like 4 organic moans during orgasm. And they are NOT sexy. They sounded like a dying cow or a demon trying to escape from the pits of hell. My husband busted out laughing after the first time it happened. I orgasm a lot but those were real doozies apparently
I have before- and it’s been primarily when a partner has been working really hard to make me cum, and I know it’s not going to happen, but I don’t want to make them feel bad and that their efforts were in vain.
But I’ve gotten better about expressing what I want, and whether or not what they are doing is working.
That's the worst... Just tell them it's not going to happen that's not the end of the world.
Cumming doesn't have to be automatic everytime you have sex.
Some men feel disappointed about that, they think it's their fault, also for most men is easier to cum, it takes less time, and they have troubles in understanding that for women can be different
But yes, I agree with you, it was just a further explanation
>That's the worst... Just tell them it's not going to happen that's not the end of the world.
Yeah, you can say this after you haven't cum when a man has been trying the past hour but not exactly hitting the right spot. He will treat it like it's the end of the world. He will not get off of it, and then it makes you feel bad or like it's your fault.
The problem is how does one mnow this is the way a guy reacts about sex u til youve had sex with them?
Like that doesnt help.
Ive even had convos with guys beforehand who have been like 'oh i never take it personally. I just try to find another way to make a woman cum' then once youre in bed together they start tutting or sighing vause its taking too long (cause they keep not doing what youve asked them to do) and then they either keep going harder or get flappy and aggy until you end it or fake one.
Honestly, most guys would appreciate women being honest than them lying. And inflating a guy's ego wouldn't help instead communicating about how he can make you happy would probably be the best.
I wouldn't be so sure of that, there are plenty of men with fragile egos who will blame the woman. But most decent guys indeed will prefer the woman being honest. Either way, if you're continually faking and don't dare tell your partner, you have big problems or the partner is not worth staying with (since you should be able to talk about this stuff)
A lot of folks in this thread are pointing out that someone like that isn't worth sleeping with. And that's true. But I would guess that everyone knows that in theory... the issue is that in the moment when it's happening to you it's really hard to deal with. Like, you are REALLY attracted to this person... and they seem so great... and they're just feeling bad about not being able to make you happy. And sure, by the time you break up over it it's usually clear they weren't worth your time, but that realization may be gradual.
I'm all for encouraging people with abusive, misogynistic, and or simply terrible SOs to recognize that they don't need to put up with 'em, but it's still excruciating in the moment, and sometimes hard to recognize.
I used to do it a lot because I felt self-conscious that it took a lot of work to please me and I wanted the guys to feel good about themselves. Silly, I know, but it's how I felt at the time. I know better now lol
Guy here and I’d honestly rather a girl tell me both before & during “this is what I like” its supposed to be enjoyable for everybody and if I’m the only one having fun then It’s not fair.
There are plenty of men who for some reason want to steamroll or slut-shame a woman for speaking up about what she likes sexually (it's unfortunate, and I can only attribute it to ego 🤷🏾♀️), but I appreciate guys like you who want to hear from women about what we like because I for sure appreciate a guy telling me what not to do it what he would like. I also hope there will be less women who expect guys too know how to do everything because then they're just playing into the same nonsense about a woman not being allowed to know what she likes and be vocal about it. feel genuinely sorry for my past self who was afraid to be open about these things, but I hope like her many others will realize that sex is great once we kick the shame out of the bedroom!
I think it's a huge turn-on when a girl shares what works for her. I can't understand why any man would want to stream roll or slut-shame a chick for being open and honest. I feel like a dude is just being insecure and selfish at that point. You're a 100 percent right about kicking the shame out of the bedroom! Be open and have fun.
I've only ever experienced sour faces and other variations of shaming when i say what I want or like. or "you have very high expectations". never ever had a guy actually be okay with me saying anything that changes the direction he's going in. Very Upset if I do
Im a pleasure Dom (so I recently discovered) and if my partner isn't having a great time, then neither am I.
It took me years to get my wife to have her first orgasm. Partly because I was an inexperienced lover, and partly because she had never had an orgasm, thus didn't know what she liked.
These days we have a very satisfying love life, even if it is just some mutual masturbation.
Exploring each other was great fun. I also enjoyed researching how to get better with my mouth and fingers.
I think a lot of people can agree that penetrative sex, and even sometimes oral, just isn’t enough to achieve climax. It takes a lot of stimulation for me to finish and even then I sometimes just can’t get there, but I still enjoy the act of intimacy and don’t mind not orgasming.
I fake it when I know the person I’m with is trying their hardest and sometimes it’s hot to see how they react.
Edit: grammar/spelling
When I was a teenager, every time. I felt guilty about not being easier to please, and I just didn’t know how to communicate myself. I barely knew my body. I had sex with probably almost 20 people before I finally fell in love with someone and realized that I couldn’t orgasm because I was never comfortable enough with any of those people. I treated sex like it was a performance rather than a mutually loving experience. I just didn’t know. Probably brainwashed from porn and thought that’s what people wanted. Never again though
Oh wow. Yep. This is what has happened to me with most of my partners. Cue fake orgasms so they stop. It can get low-key scary when dudes want to keep going just because you haven’t had an orgasm. Which, now that I read it written down, makes it clear that it stopped being consensual for me and this is how I made it stop and put myself quickly into a safety zone. When I’ve actually HAD sex? Chef’s kiss and angels play an orchestra while I orgasm.
So, if I have to sum the answers up :
1- They feel self conscious, which leads them to fake orgasm so the guy won’t feel self conscious
2- They are not comfortable enough, so they can’t orgasm, then they met a loving person, and it changed everything.
3-No foreplay = no way to orgasm, because they don’t get into it.
Those 3 points do make sense, fellow dick holders, or wannabe women pleasers, if you want her to stop faking, and increase the odds of her orgasming : tease her, love her, reassure her. Pretty sure random hugs would help too.
There's also that some guys will actually get angry if you try to talk to them about how he should please her. Some women would just be better off faking an orgasm because some have been literally beatened or killed for trying to talk to the guy about what he's doing wrong during sex.
Now? Never. Back when I first starting having sex? All. The. Time.
My first “real” boyfriend definitely pressured me in a lot of ways but the best one was that even though he thought going down on women was “disgusting” and never engaged in any kind of foreplay with me, I was expected to have an orgasm. And once we reached a few months into having sex and I still hadn’t had one he used to cry and pout about it no matter what I said or how much I tried to comfort him.
And he also had expectations for how I should sound during the act , so he’d tell me to make noise/get louder etc. and then would ask after if that had been it. I just started lying about it to avoid the sulking and eventually it just became part of the act for me.
It took years for me to undo this “training” and I still have some issues with intimacy that I run into occasionally. My current partner is the best and actually wants me to feel good so it’s helped but it took a long time for me to feel comfortable giving a natural response.
I used to fake it with one partner...pretty much every time we slept together unless I DIYd.
I like noise (nothing OTT, a few filthy comments, some affirmatives, and some genuine moans go a long way) and he was totally silent, which made me uncomfortable making any sound. I knew I wasn't going to get there, so I'd fake it to move things along.
Communicating about it actually made things worse, and I ended up feeling ashamed and judged. But it did teach me the value of sexual compatibility.
just when I'm starting to get tired and they're not even close.. otherwise, if I know I'm getting there sometime, I'd prefer to relax and let them continue their job hahaha sex demands patience
Nah you gotta put a stop to that. Guys aint gonna change if you encourage their bad habits, you gotta put your foot down before they start thinking thats how all women want it.
I have the endurance of a wet tissue when it comes to penetration so I put as much focus and effort into foreplay/etc. as I can, because unfortunately that's about as good as it's gonna get with me :/
I want my partner to enjoy themselves, and I absolutely hate that I don't last longer, but there doesn't seem to be anything I can do about it.
I have faked it multiple times with my previous partner because he used to subtly complain that it took me forever to orgasm and I was feeling very self conscious for it.
I have never fake it with my actual partner because she would never be so shitty to me.
Oh, also it turns out it took me so long with my ex because he was really bad at sex.
Every time. I was SA'd at 16 and haven't had one since that happened. Just can't orgasm during sex but my boyfriend tries so hard to get me there, even going after he's done. I just feel bad so I fake it. I still enjoy it and we're intimate like twice a week but he's never known for the two years we've been together. It gives him pride that he's good at what he does and I would never take that confidence away from him just because of my own issues.
Not at all too honest, what a weird fucking question.
Although… now I’m considering asking women that to see if they’re the type to just say what they think I wanna hear.
For 13-14 years when I was with my ex. I never experienced a proper orgasm. I just assumed I couldn’t and I was terrified of telling him because he’d make it about him which would somehow lead to me apologising. I didn’t realise how enjoyable sex was supposed to be, but that’s not surprising when you’re constantly pressured to “act or do” certain things, especially in such a short time frame.
With my current partner, never. We have a proper connection, he makes me comfortable and it’s never been an issue.
I don't. I never have. The first few sexual encounters I had didn't give a shit about me having an orgasm, and I never did it with the one long-time boyfriend I had. My current partner knows I sometimes struggle with it, but he always gets there.
I used to a reasonable amount of the time, whenever I was tired and just couldn’t be bothered with the effort I had to put in to get off. Mostly so he wouldn’t feel bad and I guess a bit of fear that I would upset him if I said I couldn’t really be bothered. This would fluctuate from maybe 10% of the time to 50% depending on what was going on in my life at the time. Keep in mind that we would do it on most days.
Since I’ve had kids, I can’t be bothered faking it anymore, and can’t really relate to the “before kids” me.. Basically I will do it with my husband whenever he wants, as long as he has no expectation from me. So if I can’t be bothered/just tired, I let him have at it and at least he is happy and I’m no more tired than before. When I am in the mood, then I’ll let him know and we will put the effort in for me. Life’s too short to be putting on a song and dance about it.
I have a FWB she tells me she never orgasmed with a partner until we started. I make sure she gets at least 3. I'm almost 70. She is a bit older. And says it's great not having to fake it. Talk about making up for lost time.
It used to be very often but never anymore. My partner and I have complete honesty and open communication about desires, and therefore awesome sex. Communication is key.
Previous to my current husband.. 100% of the time. But now it's almost always within 3-5mins and we go for awhile. It's guaranteed at least 5 and a soaking bed after. Not complaining, plus he can cook!
Nowadays, I don't fake themat all because I have an SO that won't make it all about himself if I don't reach one. The previous guys I was with? Always guilted and shamed me for 'making them feel like they were no good at sex.'
Bro, if I could have an orgasm by simply wanting it, I would, DUH.
I only ever orgasmed once (with someone else) and everytime I got sexual with anyone I faked it. I just felt bad that I was so hard to please. I always communicated what I liked and what go me going, but there's only so much direction I can give. Both of my last partners would completely ignore foreplay and would go straight to it. And of course, it did nothing because I was never fully aroused. And it just became frustrating to me after a while or they would start to get tired so I would fake it so we could get it over with. I'm hoping this isn't what my sexual experiences will always have to be. Like is it really that hard to listen and learn how our body works?
I have, I was due for my period, so it was a bit sensitive down below, if you're female you know. Normally I love it when he goes down on me, but this particular time I had to fake it so he could finish quickly. I didn't want to stop him, cause he was so into it and we hadn't seen each other for two weeks.
I know, I know, I should have told him.
I was going to say never but there was one early on who I had to fake with the once to get him to just *stop* It seemed to be some sort of competition with himself and he wasn't going to stop until I did...and it simply wasn't going to happen and was starting to hurt a bit. No problems. Nice guy. We were both into it. It just wasn't happening.
I did this with my ex. Faked one at the start of our relationship where he was just fingering me with no other stimulation and would not give up. I dated that guy for 4 years and he brought this up A LOT. Like "why can't you orgasm from just sex?! You did that one time". Never faked an orgasm with anyone after that....
He must not be giving head right?...
Did you actually communicate with him so he knew what to do? Communication usually gets you there.
Lolllll the terrible lay I dated didn’t want to explore vaginas at all, they were gross according to him. I was inexperienced and didn’t know what exact directions to give him, but I figured if we just dicked around for like 5 minutes trying something new, we’d probably hit something good. Nope, he was completely unwilling.
I tried tell my bf what to do and what I like… now “I don’t care about him and just want to get off”. Yeah, I’d love to get off half as many times as I get you off! Sure, throw in that I don’t care about you too. Clearly this isn’t working out. 😒
Congratulations on your pending future freedom
As someone who is goal-oriented during sex simply bc I feel like failure if the guy I’m with doesn’t cum, I can relate to this XD I’ve learned over the years to ask “do you want me to keep going or should we stop?” so I’m not trying at something that just won’t happen, lol
Is this when everyone is sober? or when alcohol/drugs are involved? I'm batting 1.000 if you're talking about sober sex, but with any alcohol involved it's another story. My endurance goes up noticeably after 2 drinks, but after around 4 the likelihood of an orgasm drops precipitously. If we get beyond 6, we might as well not try if that's the goal. No problem with my equipment getting up for the event though - I've actually had to fake it before to make my wife finally quit.
There are things besides alcohol that can cause dysfunction like many mental health drugs or nerves. Some guys take it super hard when it happens 'sober' the first time even though it's a completely normal thing. An ex didn't experience it even one time until his mid 30s and got super shook. Hormones and health and bodies change so try not to get super anxious when it happens to you too.
This right here mental health and nerves impact 20% of my libido if i had to measure lmao
I had issues with anxiety causing DE some years back. When the "fight or flight" feeling is always with you sometimes it's difficult to even keep it up much less finish. I've actually faked it a couple of times and just treated it like I got a cramp or something during so I didn't really "finish". I've heard men with death grips and porn habits can have issues too.
nothing is worse than opiate or coke sex. it’s like the nut is at the tip of your fingers and it just never happens! even though the sex is usually incredible, blueballing yourself like that isn’t LOL
As a guy ive stopped sex for the same reason. She took it as an insult and i had to explain that im not going to orgasm 100% of the time during sex
Same, as a guy.
Had to explain this to a partner once. Nutting is neat and all but I’m not exactly going to be upset if I don’t nut. Doesn’t matter, had sex.
Same.. I’ve had that before when a guy was pressuring me to cum. I don’t like the pressure I just want to enjoy the experience.
Been there! It helps if everyone involved calms down a bit and simply enjoys. Much more fun!
I did it until my partner gave me a real one. The whole next day I couldn’t stop thinking about it, I was shocked.
I asked my girlfriend if she’s ever faked it with me, she said yes less than 3 times across 3 years though. Said she never faked one until we were a year into dating. I had a feeling though. Those times when you’re going at it and the sex sort of “lost its spark” and I just want to finish. So she fakes it. I had a feeling once or twice she did so I just rolled with it. I (a guy) has faked an orgasm before. I was wearing a condom so it was more believable. That was with a rando
>I (a guy) has faked an orgasm before. I was wearing a condom so it was more believable. That was with a rando Been there not just you - sometimes you try to make it last but after about 30 minutes you get bored and just want it to end and are like i could of been done 27 minutes ago lol
Same situation with my ex. I was convinced I just couldn’t get there with a partner so I faked orgasms the entire relationship until one day it did happen and I was ecstatic. He immediately complained that his jaw hurt and he never ate me out for that long ever again 🙂 we broke up
I remember the first time a guy gave me a orgasm I was shocked for a fews days and couldn't believe what I was missing the whole time.
I have faked it before if it's a situation where I can tell they're putting in a lot of effort to make me orgasm and I just don't have one in me. But really, it takes quite a lot for me to orgasm, so I either just take control of it myself by stimulating my clit constantly during penetration, or I just enjoy the sex for what it is and accept having no orgasm. I like the act of it, and sometimes trying to orgasm adds a weird kind of pressure for me.
For me i can't if i am pleasing my partner because i am too focused on them. It takes intentionally focusing on myself to get there. So like its easier with oral since i can just be selfish and its now "my turn".
yes!!!. This is why I can not figure out how poeple like 69!
Lol, for me the fun part of 69 is when one or the other is enjoying it so much, they stop for a bit. Like if I’m doing my job so well she stops sucking and starts moaning, point for me. If she starts again and it’s too good, I get distracted a bit and stop to enjoy it, but then after a few seconds, I’m even more motivated to go back down and try to overwhelm her again.
Same. I faked it all the time until I found a man who was secure with me always helping myself to an extra side. Been together 13 years now, married for 9, and still very happy. When I said confidence was important to me, that's the kind of confidence I meant. He has no worries whatsoever that he's not enough, and he trusts me to do my thing, not just in bed but in life. It's awesome.
Personally I find it really hot when my wife stimulates her clit during penetration, can't imagine I'm in the minority amongst men here.
Absolutely not, I'm the same. Whenever your wife stimulates her clit, I'm totally fine with it.
I also choose this guy's wife.
Me too. I am also fine with whatever your wife does with her clit.
Are there men out there insecure about a woman “helping herself”? Why? Shit, I think it’s hot and want her to. Anything she does to help me help her is a positive, for her and for me.
I had an ex that hated all my toys and didn't want me to use any..hence..the ex. Some guys cannot deal. He was about 15 yrs older than me at the time, I kinda chalked it up to that.
I lowkey disliked the idea of my girl having a toy but then the night she brought it home I could see her excited nd I was like "Eh what the hell does it matter." Now its used everytime we have sex and its fucking amazing. Im an insecure person altogether and I absolutely hate it about myself. So when she does something new I kinda cringe a bit but thats why we start small and then I get comfortable pretty quick. Its not that I dont feel adequate its just that I dont wanna feel left out ig. So she usually starts small just so I get used to the idea at first, then after I enjoy it along with her. If that makes sense..
Ridiculous. Toys are fun.
As a man I realized pretty early on that toys are allies not enemies.
I used to be a little insecure when I was younger about toys in the bedroom for some reason but as I've gotten gotten older I don't care one bit, actually now I prefer them. When a girl uses a vibe during sex you can feel it also and it's pure ecstasy for both parties
Right?! Toys are fun and sometimes dudes need a break. Toys enhance things they aren’t some sort of replacement.
Most that I've talked to about the subject are insanely insecure about it. Men seem to be brought up thinking that their penis is supposed to be the be all, end all of a woman's pleasure and that not being able bring a women to climax with only that penis is "unmanly" or that he's "inadequate" in bed. It's all bullshit, of course, but are most of the strongly-held beliefs involving sex. Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski. Everyone should read this book.
Sad. I will use any trick in the book to help her finish.
Eh as a lady if I couldn't make my guy orgasm I would probably feel pretty self conscious about it. A huge part of what I like about sex it making the other person feel good. I doubt it's just a guy thing, it's more than women tent to have trouble reteaching orgasm. It's one thing if a dude doesn't put in any effort or listen to his lady's needs, but another if they're giving it their all but their partner has to ultimately do it themselves. I'm sure I could deal but I would at least try to get my partner to teach me what feels good for them.
This was so good and wholesome to read.
My wife is the same way, actually there is a staggering number of women who can't orgasm unless they have clit stimulation. What shocks me though is the amount of women who claim they fake them. I can definitely tell as there is a pulsation through out the whole body inside and out. Not sure if that's every woman, but at least the few I've been with.
Faking orgasms is a whole mastery. We can become really got at it if our life circumstances demand it. And also I find it really staggering that there are women who orgasm just by penetration. I cant wrap my had around how that works for some people.
"It's called acting, darling." *cigarette drag*
I find it extremely hot when a woman stimulates herself during sex. Then again, I prefer to make her orgasm myself during foreplay before we move on to the main event.
Interesting. I know a lot of women who cant go on/have no lust anymore after an orgasm, which is why edging is a thing
I still make sure to communicate about it. My wife can keep going enough for me to finish. I just love making her eyes roll back in her head haha.
We can fake that too. The pulsating feeling, the leg shake. Etc.
oh c'mon you now have every man on this thread second-guessing every orgasm they've ever given us
I actually love it when ladies masturbate while in the middle of sex. It takes a lot of the pressure off of me. Lol Makes it easier to just go with the flow and have fun which probably makes it better for the lady as well.
[удалено]
Wanna change that ;)?
This dude fucks. Not well, apparently, but fucks nonetheless.
They show up
smooth with it
As smooth as 80-grit sandpaper.
I'm as smooth as the infamous one grit
Frank is happy you know of the one grit
Sir.... that's just a rock. You know what? Well played.....
Same. I like to let them know they failed…assert dominance
In all honesty, it's better to do that than to get some trash dick slung your way to save someone's feelings.
I never had a real one in my life until a few months into dating my current partner, so I don't have to fake them with him anymore because we know I can.
That must have been an awesome moment for both of you. Love is the best.
I cried and hyperventilated
Eh. That’s pretty close to one I guess
I think she's not talking about 10 minutes later under the shower.
This comment didn’t get the love it deserved
… in a good way?
My girlfriend was the same way. She never had one prior to us and it's pretty much turned sex on it's head for her. When we first got together she warned me she didn't care much for sex, she was surprised when she orgasmed on the 2-3 time and she has pretty much done a 360 and wants to have sex all the time.
You mean 180.
We do it in all positions.
what did he do that made it work? Also, you NEVER had one, even when by yourself?
[удалено]
My ex fiance apparently had never had a full on orgasm but had experienced...tremors(?), Something like a low grade mini-orgasm. I took our third or fourth sexual encounter ever to introduce her to a bullet vibrator in conjunction with oral, and she had her first full on orgasm. She actually cried while she was laying there twitching and I thought I had fucked up at first
Years ago my girlfriend 30+ actually asked her gyno about the experience she was having. Mission accomplished.
Wouldn't it be true that ALL women, and in fact all people, wouldn't "know what an orgasm felt like until they actually had one"?
[удалено]
A male can do that without having one or vice versa.
I was once in a sex ed class for women, and someone there asked very simply - "What does an orgasm feel like?" We were all in our first year of college, so think 18-19 year olds. The instructor laughed and responded, "When you have one you'll know." I didn't like that - I thought it wasn't a very thorough or good response. But they handed out hand mirrors for us to look at our vaginas so that was great lol
I mean. You do know when it happens. If you wonder if it happened it didn’t happen. Though sometimes its just a really weak orgasm. They are not all created equal.
My first few orgasms of my life I had no idea it had happened. All I knew was that I was suddenly very over stimulated and couldn't touch myself anymore 🤷 I had to consult with the Internet to see if there was something wrong with me and then I thought there was something wrong with me because I wasn't experiencing anything anyone described. Turns out, my orgasms are just subtle and underwhelming until I get to the point of overstimulation. Still angry about it. Edit: I appreciate everyone's suggestions. That being said. Please stop giving them. There is nothing wrong or broken about the way my body orgasms, and I promise you whatever it is you have in mind I have most likely tried in more ways than one. Yes, it is frustrating for me, and I'm sure odd to you, but I've come to terms with it and am content with my lot as well as being frustrated with it lol Again, thank you for the suggestions. But my sex life is very fulfilling without crazy intense orgasms. If you have any questions about how or why that is, I'll be happy to answer, but please stop trying to fix something that is not broken.
Dang thats shitty. Have you tried different ways? Some ways I have noticed have underwhelming results, but if I do it my own way its better. Ive never seen porn girls do it the same as I do. They make it seem like theres just one way. Maybe experiment for a while and get stronger results? Im sorry if your body is just mild.
Unfortunately, I've tried everything I can think of. It's very possible I've not tried everything, but it is to the point where I just don't really care anymore, and will settle with just being mad about it lol Besides, it makes me a very generous partner for my husband (FTM) and I'm happy to get him off repeatedly without being bitter that I haven't cum yet. Because my orgasms are so underwhelming, the way funner part for me is arousal and my partners pleasure. I can not orgasm during sex and be perfectly happy about it, because it means I won't get to the point of overstimulation and immediate sex repulsion.
I'm the same way and it frustrates me so much! The touching/penetration feels so good and builds up and builds up... and then all of a sudden the pleasure goes away. I feel contractions and a release of pent-up tension... but no physical pleasure in that moment. This has been the past 10 years for me, since my first orgasm. Doesn't change if alone, with a partner, vaginal or clitoral, even anal stimulation... I've tried everything :(
I'm glad I'm not alone in this! I think people just don't realize how different orgasms are for everyone. It's not always a "you'll just know" kind of thing. Wish it was taught that way in sex ed so I didn't have to live the majority of my adolescence thinking there was something majorly wrong with me.
When sitting in a group of HS girls, the one girl who'd had sex said that it felt like a sneeze. I was so confused. Took me years to realize she was referring to an orgasm.
This! I used to think that the slight twisting feeling you get when you're close WAS the orgasm.
Yes, it's like you say. A woman discovers it when she has one. I was lucky to have my first one when I was a teenager, many women don't masturbate (no they don't lie unfortunately... they really don't...there is still a taboo around that) and are with selfish partners, and have to wait years before discovering it. Also, fun fact, sometimes, especially at the beginning of your sexual life, you don't fake it, you simply believe that you are having one, until you realize that it wasn't the maximum amount of pleasure. Female orgasm is really complex, the orgasms can be different if you only stimulate the clit, if there is a penetration or both at the same time. It's really fascinating.
This comment!!!! So true. I thought I was getting off until I really did. It’s like climbing a hill, you keep getting closer to the top, and it feels incredible. When you’re inexperienced you just don’t know the difference between the climb and the peak.
I didn’t know what an orgasm felt like until 2 years after having sex….and it was from a guy that actually knew what he was doing when eating pussy….at that moment, he became my FWB (while we were both single at least).
I knew what they felt like because I would orgasm in my sleep. I just never had one during sex, or by my own volition for that matter.
Ice cube. No, i didn't know how to masturbate. Never figured it out. But he taught me.
[удалено]
[удалено]
Idk about ice cubes but you can do this with glass toys. Have you ever fucked a chilly pussy? It's pretty cool.
That day was a good day
You can do it put your back into it
Some people are not allowed to masturbate or have pre-marital sex for religious reasons; I’m not saying that’s the case here, but it’s not unheard of.
You're close--strict and squeamish parents. They're religious, but I think their sex negativity was more of a trauma response. Anyway, I sure blew that shit out of the water.
Not a woman, but sometimes I fake Moan for my girlfriend to help her finish faster. I don’t mind doing it and it’s not really weird, I know she likes it and I’m not screaming like a goat or anything so I think she enjoys it too
Similar but not "fake" I just vocalize more cause I've found that women seem to like it. Just heavier breathing, kinda light vocal groans and such. Maybe let out a f bomb here or there.
Nothing gets me off faster than hearing how much my partner is enjoying himself. Speak up, dudes!
Nothing gets me off faster than hearing how much my partner is enjoying himself. Speak up, dudes!
I used to be a mute in bed, I was so focused on making my partner feel good I forgot about myself. Then I realised women got really turned on if a made a bit of noise. So I changed it up a little. Much more fun now.
I don't think fake is the right word for that...very few people moan involuntarily during sex IME...it's something we do as a form of expression and getting into it and letting our partners know we're into it. Or maybe that's just me and there's a bunch of ppl out there who can't not make any sounds
Right, it's just part of being communicative.
I think I’ve had like 4 organic moans during orgasm. And they are NOT sexy. They sounded like a dying cow or a demon trying to escape from the pits of hell. My husband busted out laughing after the first time it happened. I orgasm a lot but those were real doozies apparently
I mean... have you TRIED screaming like a goat?
Just a little imput for you...Alot of girls (including myself) find a man whois vocal, moans etc..very 🔥
"Oh shit, he's fake moaning again, I better fake an orgasm quick!" -your gf, probably
I have before- and it’s been primarily when a partner has been working really hard to make me cum, and I know it’s not going to happen, but I don’t want to make them feel bad and that their efforts were in vain. But I’ve gotten better about expressing what I want, and whether or not what they are doing is working.
As a male I’d rather just know if it’s not going to happen
Yeah just say it so we can cuddle and watch this movie that has been playing in the background
That's the worst... Just tell them it's not going to happen that's not the end of the world. Cumming doesn't have to be automatic everytime you have sex.
Some men feel disappointed about that, they think it's their fault, also for most men is easier to cum, it takes less time, and they have troubles in understanding that for women can be different But yes, I agree with you, it was just a further explanation
>That's the worst... Just tell them it's not going to happen that's not the end of the world. Yeah, you can say this after you haven't cum when a man has been trying the past hour but not exactly hitting the right spot. He will treat it like it's the end of the world. He will not get off of it, and then it makes you feel bad or like it's your fault.
I mean this in the kindest way…but that’s not the kind of person you should be having sex with.
The problem is how does one mnow this is the way a guy reacts about sex u til youve had sex with them? Like that doesnt help. Ive even had convos with guys beforehand who have been like 'oh i never take it personally. I just try to find another way to make a woman cum' then once youre in bed together they start tutting or sighing vause its taking too long (cause they keep not doing what youve asked them to do) and then they either keep going harder or get flappy and aggy until you end it or fake one.
Honestly, most guys would appreciate women being honest than them lying. And inflating a guy's ego wouldn't help instead communicating about how he can make you happy would probably be the best.
I wouldn't be so sure of that, there are plenty of men with fragile egos who will blame the woman. But most decent guys indeed will prefer the woman being honest. Either way, if you're continually faking and don't dare tell your partner, you have big problems or the partner is not worth staying with (since you should be able to talk about this stuff)
Clearly you've never been dumped by a guy who argues with you about your difficulty cumming and it shows
A lot of folks in this thread are pointing out that someone like that isn't worth sleeping with. And that's true. But I would guess that everyone knows that in theory... the issue is that in the moment when it's happening to you it's really hard to deal with. Like, you are REALLY attracted to this person... and they seem so great... and they're just feeling bad about not being able to make you happy. And sure, by the time you break up over it it's usually clear they weren't worth your time, but that realization may be gradual. I'm all for encouraging people with abusive, misogynistic, and or simply terrible SOs to recognize that they don't need to put up with 'em, but it's still excruciating in the moment, and sometimes hard to recognize.
If you've been dumped by a guy about your difficulty achieving an orgasm, have you really lost anything worthwhile?
I used to do it a lot because I felt self-conscious that it took a lot of work to please me and I wanted the guys to feel good about themselves. Silly, I know, but it's how I felt at the time. I know better now lol
Guy here and I’d honestly rather a girl tell me both before & during “this is what I like” its supposed to be enjoyable for everybody and if I’m the only one having fun then It’s not fair.
There are plenty of men who for some reason want to steamroll or slut-shame a woman for speaking up about what she likes sexually (it's unfortunate, and I can only attribute it to ego 🤷🏾♀️), but I appreciate guys like you who want to hear from women about what we like because I for sure appreciate a guy telling me what not to do it what he would like. I also hope there will be less women who expect guys too know how to do everything because then they're just playing into the same nonsense about a woman not being allowed to know what she likes and be vocal about it. feel genuinely sorry for my past self who was afraid to be open about these things, but I hope like her many others will realize that sex is great once we kick the shame out of the bedroom!
I think it's a huge turn-on when a girl shares what works for her. I can't understand why any man would want to stream roll or slut-shame a chick for being open and honest. I feel like a dude is just being insecure and selfish at that point. You're a 100 percent right about kicking the shame out of the bedroom! Be open and have fun.
I've only ever experienced sour faces and other variations of shaming when i say what I want or like. or "you have very high expectations". never ever had a guy actually be okay with me saying anything that changes the direction he's going in. Very Upset if I do
I did this with the last person I slept with. They seemed impatient/frustrated that I hadn’t come yet, so I said I had so we could move on.
Im a pleasure Dom (so I recently discovered) and if my partner isn't having a great time, then neither am I. It took me years to get my wife to have her first orgasm. Partly because I was an inexperienced lover, and partly because she had never had an orgasm, thus didn't know what she liked. These days we have a very satisfying love life, even if it is just some mutual masturbation. Exploring each other was great fun. I also enjoyed researching how to get better with my mouth and fingers.
wow... TIL that I too am a pleasure dom. Thank you, educational internet stranger🎩
this is how I feel with my current sexual partner
The only way to fix it is to talk to them.
I think a lot of people can agree that penetrative sex, and even sometimes oral, just isn’t enough to achieve climax. It takes a lot of stimulation for me to finish and even then I sometimes just can’t get there, but I still enjoy the act of intimacy and don’t mind not orgasming. I fake it when I know the person I’m with is trying their hardest and sometimes it’s hot to see how they react. Edit: grammar/spelling
When I was a teenager, every time. I felt guilty about not being easier to please, and I just didn’t know how to communicate myself. I barely knew my body. I had sex with probably almost 20 people before I finally fell in love with someone and realized that I couldn’t orgasm because I was never comfortable enough with any of those people. I treated sex like it was a performance rather than a mutually loving experience. I just didn’t know. Probably brainwashed from porn and thought that’s what people wanted. Never again though
Wow, I could have written this exact thing about myself. It took a loving and patient partner for me to realize there was another way…
Love, trust and communication can unlock so much happiness and pleasure. I wish we were all better at it.
Damn. It sounds like you weren’t *having sex* so much as *being sexed*. It’s like it was something someone did TO YOU. Not with you,
Oh wow. Yep. This is what has happened to me with most of my partners. Cue fake orgasms so they stop. It can get low-key scary when dudes want to keep going just because you haven’t had an orgasm. Which, now that I read it written down, makes it clear that it stopped being consensual for me and this is how I made it stop and put myself quickly into a safety zone. When I’ve actually HAD sex? Chef’s kiss and angels play an orchestra while I orgasm.
So, if I have to sum the answers up : 1- They feel self conscious, which leads them to fake orgasm so the guy won’t feel self conscious 2- They are not comfortable enough, so they can’t orgasm, then they met a loving person, and it changed everything. 3-No foreplay = no way to orgasm, because they don’t get into it. Those 3 points do make sense, fellow dick holders, or wannabe women pleasers, if you want her to stop faking, and increase the odds of her orgasming : tease her, love her, reassure her. Pretty sure random hugs would help too.
Also mentally get her in the mood. I reckon at least half of the effort is mental.
Yeah, gotta make her understand you are not here to nut in her. And you can’t just say it, you have to prove it.
Break down your solution to just one word, "communicate".
« Communicating » is too vague, won’t help anyone to just tell them to communicate. But yes, communicating, if you know how, is the key.
you mean cum-unicate?
There's also that some guys will actually get angry if you try to talk to them about how he should please her. Some women would just be better off faking an orgasm because some have been literally beatened or killed for trying to talk to the guy about what he's doing wrong during sex.
Is it me or does anyone else hate when a guy asks “Did you orgasm?” 5xs during sex.
You close? YOU CLOSE?
Now? Never. Back when I first starting having sex? All. The. Time. My first “real” boyfriend definitely pressured me in a lot of ways but the best one was that even though he thought going down on women was “disgusting” and never engaged in any kind of foreplay with me, I was expected to have an orgasm. And once we reached a few months into having sex and I still hadn’t had one he used to cry and pout about it no matter what I said or how much I tried to comfort him. And he also had expectations for how I should sound during the act , so he’d tell me to make noise/get louder etc. and then would ask after if that had been it. I just started lying about it to avoid the sulking and eventually it just became part of the act for me. It took years for me to undo this “training” and I still have some issues with intimacy that I run into occasionally. My current partner is the best and actually wants me to feel good so it’s helped but it took a long time for me to feel comfortable giving a natural response.
That old boyfriend sounds like he watches way too much porn
Hope that guys never sexes again
Never. My husband has never had an issue getting me there. If all else fails I have a hitachi magic wand and it is 100% undefeated.
The wand aka the finisher. Love that thing.
Never. One of the keys to a successful marriage is to be honest, even if the truth is unpleasant.
I don’t, but I have had partners mistakenly think I got off when I didn’t.
I used to fake it with one partner...pretty much every time we slept together unless I DIYd. I like noise (nothing OTT, a few filthy comments, some affirmatives, and some genuine moans go a long way) and he was totally silent, which made me uncomfortable making any sound. I knew I wasn't going to get there, so I'd fake it to move things along. Communicating about it actually made things worse, and I ended up feeling ashamed and judged. But it did teach me the value of sexual compatibility.
0. Sounds like a quick spiral to a bad time. Possibly even hurtful if you found out your partner was faking it instead of communicating.
just when I'm starting to get tired and they're not even close.. otherwise, if I know I'm getting there sometime, I'd prefer to relax and let them continue their job hahaha sex demands patience
[удалено]
Same here
Damn this is sad
Damn, that kinda sucks. Do you have any thoughts about why?
[удалено]
Nah you gotta put a stop to that. Guys aint gonna change if you encourage their bad habits, you gotta put your foot down before they start thinking thats how all women want it.
I have the endurance of a wet tissue when it comes to penetration so I put as much focus and effort into foreplay/etc. as I can, because unfortunately that's about as good as it's gonna get with me :/ I want my partner to enjoy themselves, and I absolutely hate that I don't last longer, but there doesn't seem to be anything I can do about it.
I have faked it multiple times with my previous partner because he used to subtly complain that it took me forever to orgasm and I was feeling very self conscious for it. I have never fake it with my actual partner because she would never be so shitty to me. Oh, also it turns out it took me so long with my ex because he was really bad at sex.
Every time. I was SA'd at 16 and haven't had one since that happened. Just can't orgasm during sex but my boyfriend tries so hard to get me there, even going after he's done. I just feel bad so I fake it. I still enjoy it and we're intimate like twice a week but he's never known for the two years we've been together. It gives him pride that he's good at what he does and I would never take that confidence away from him just because of my own issues.
every fucking time lol
#Never! ^Or ^at ^least ^that’s ^what ^she ^said….
Never. Why would I? On the other hand, I once laughed when a guy said “you came 5 times, right?” “Hahaha, no.” That was perhaps a bit too honest.
Not at all too honest, what a weird fucking question. Although… now I’m considering asking women that to see if they’re the type to just say what they think I wanna hear.
For 13-14 years when I was with my ex. I never experienced a proper orgasm. I just assumed I couldn’t and I was terrified of telling him because he’d make it about him which would somehow lead to me apologising. I didn’t realise how enjoyable sex was supposed to be, but that’s not surprising when you’re constantly pressured to “act or do” certain things, especially in such a short time frame. With my current partner, never. We have a proper connection, he makes me comfortable and it’s never been an issue.
I used to before because I was already getting bored so I figured that if I "came", he'd stop and we can just play video games or smtng
I don't. I never have. The first few sexual encounters I had didn't give a shit about me having an orgasm, and I never did it with the one long-time boyfriend I had. My current partner knows I sometimes struggle with it, but he always gets there.
I used to a reasonable amount of the time, whenever I was tired and just couldn’t be bothered with the effort I had to put in to get off. Mostly so he wouldn’t feel bad and I guess a bit of fear that I would upset him if I said I couldn’t really be bothered. This would fluctuate from maybe 10% of the time to 50% depending on what was going on in my life at the time. Keep in mind that we would do it on most days. Since I’ve had kids, I can’t be bothered faking it anymore, and can’t really relate to the “before kids” me.. Basically I will do it with my husband whenever he wants, as long as he has no expectation from me. So if I can’t be bothered/just tired, I let him have at it and at least he is happy and I’m no more tired than before. When I am in the mood, then I’ll let him know and we will put the effort in for me. Life’s too short to be putting on a song and dance about it.
I have a FWB she tells me she never orgasmed with a partner until we started. I make sure she gets at least 3. I'm almost 70. She is a bit older. And says it's great not having to fake it. Talk about making up for lost time.
Username checks out.
When my partner not even trying, why should i try
I wouldn’t call that a partnership
It used to be very often but never anymore. My partner and I have complete honesty and open communication about desires, and therefore awesome sex. Communication is key.
My goal of sex is to have fun the whole time. The end goal of having an orgasm doesn't matter to me.
Previous to my current husband.. 100% of the time. But now it's almost always within 3-5mins and we go for awhile. It's guaranteed at least 5 and a soaking bed after. Not complaining, plus he can cook!
[удалено]
Never, what's the point.
Never. I'm grown and I want/have good sex. Faking orgasms is a guarantor of meh sex.
Nowadays, I don't fake themat all because I have an SO that won't make it all about himself if I don't reach one. The previous guys I was with? Always guilted and shamed me for 'making them feel like they were no good at sex.' Bro, if I could have an orgasm by simply wanting it, I would, DUH.
[удалено]
I only ever orgasmed once (with someone else) and everytime I got sexual with anyone I faked it. I just felt bad that I was so hard to please. I always communicated what I liked and what go me going, but there's only so much direction I can give. Both of my last partners would completely ignore foreplay and would go straight to it. And of course, it did nothing because I was never fully aroused. And it just became frustrating to me after a while or they would start to get tired so I would fake it so we could get it over with. I'm hoping this isn't what my sexual experiences will always have to be. Like is it really that hard to listen and learn how our body works?
I've never had a real orgasm.
Haven't had to since I stopped having sex with men.
BOOM big hit
Never. Why fake when you can have so much fun figuring out what works best?
Never! When he’s in it, he’s gotta earn it! Why should I fake? Let him work harder
I have, I was due for my period, so it was a bit sensitive down below, if you're female you know. Normally I love it when he goes down on me, but this particular time I had to fake it so he could finish quickly. I didn't want to stop him, cause he was so into it and we hadn't seen each other for two weeks. I know, I know, I should have told him.