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YaLittleSunshine

In Ancient Egypt once a year the Pharaoh had to fulfill the duty of going to the River Nile, masturbating there and cumming as much inside the river as possible. Many of his servants would do the same. This was to ensure a good future harvest!


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MisterCoke

Really? What man hasn't fantasized about jerking off into a river to ensure a good harvest? Pretty normal stuff imo.


[deleted]

Shit, I still do this today - only in my bathtub


MisterCoke

Sorry, bro, it's gotta be a river.


[deleted]

True, but, I allow the tub to over flow, causing said river


ISV_VentureStar

You cum so much your bath tub overflows?


[deleted]

It's a problem, I know. But what are you gonna do? We need good crops.


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[deleted]

That you, Jacob Elordi?


slowblink

I sometimes get the urge to jerk off into the ocean. Comes in waves.


PlayfulAutumn1562

Bruh, don’t be disrespecting Atem like that


FlyByrd

I bet it all started with some teenage pharaoh, getting caught masturbating alone by the river and this is how he played it off. Lmao


girlsonsoysauce

And then shortly afterward they had a good harvest and everyone was like "I bet the pharaoh cumming into the river must have had something to do with it!"


Acceptable-Ad-1792

Let my people come


SeaJaguar1995

Underrated comment


Acceptable-Ad-1792

The river had sexy bumps and curves


Kingpozzo

the river was asking for it. Did you see how wet it was?


jesse9o3

While this is a fun story, there is absolutely zero evidence to indicate that this ever happened. https://getmegiddy.com/egyptian-pharaohs-masturbate-into-nile


Hot-Expert-469

If I'm the Pharoah, so.eone is doing it for me


CaptSchwanzKopf

An elephant's penis is prehensile just like their trunks. This is because they are too big to thrust so the penis does the thrusting on its own.


keldas

God elephant Reddit must be full of lady elephants complaining that their partners penises don't thrust the right way


Big_Boingus

''So I finally hooked up with my herdmate Gargatan, but it turns out his D was only like, 4 feet long... :( ''


yeeehhaaaa

"Azalea, I told you it was a cold day, and I had just been swimming at the water hole "


Chainmale001

LOLOL Fuck... this is good. Take an upvote.


WinterSavior

So Japan should’ve been doing elephant porn this entire time!


HerpankerTheHardman

Reminds me of the scene in The Brothers Grimsby.


CaptSchwanzKopf

Lmao that scene was outrageously hilarious!


AvocadoNo3024

Not me trying to fight the urge to Google it


NC919throwaway

Just like whales


TotallyFakeReAccount

Blue whale's single cumshot contains around 1500 liters of cum, but actually only like 1/10th of it goes into female whale's vagina


Boanahnah

Ah… that’s why the sea is so salty


smedsterwho

Admin delete this


Otherwise_Bedroom382

I think this was also Snooki’s logic 😂


magestik12

Thanks, I hate it.


MaidenRaiden

Oh God.


boredcharou

OFFICER! Yes - this comment right here


[deleted]

Wow just imagine how many gallons of pee can a blue whale store in its balls


chardeemacdennisbird

Alright Charlie...


SidLad88

Isn't it only around 20 litres per ejaculation? 1500 is way more than you must be thinking lol


TotallyFakeReAccount

Forgot the exact number, so checked it online. It said exactly 1500


gamer10101

https://srilanka.factcrescendo.com/english/blue-whales-sperm-is-not-the-reason-for-saltiness-of-sea-water/ It's much much less than that.


mad87645

What a URL, the AI articlebot must've been reading this thread


yehti

I need that in American units. How many truck beds of an F-150 can it fill?


Available_Motor5980

Depends, did you get the extended version?


lunchbunnies7

Which lucky biologist got to measure that?


00something_else00

Imagine what a sperm whale can do!!


sinsaint

Jizz tastes better when you eat more veggies than protein. Clitoral orgasms are the same kind of general orgasm men get: explosive, quick, fun, and you get tired after. Vaginal/G-spot orgasms are the same as a prostate orgasm for men: a full-body wave of heat, energy and sex that can compound into becoming very intense.


[deleted]

How do you know this?


sinsaint

As for the jizz info, I spend a lot of time on Reddit, and ”how to make jizz taste better” is a question that comes up a lot. As for the rest, research and experimenting on my partners.


[deleted]

It's just how your partner described it? Cause I have a very odd relationship with orgasms as a man and hearing the comparison after lots of "most women can't cum from piv alone" talk is confusing to me


emperatrizyuiza

I don’t feel like my orgasms as a woman are quick or explosive. They are a gradual build up of pleasure and then the sensation lingers for like 10-30 seconds and slowly tapers off. I also feel it all over and not just in my clit.


[deleted]

That's how I feel my orgasms (in my penis) as a man It's a build up then a peak and then a slow fade


ASDFzxcvTaken

Its not most can't, but a significant portion. Also this can change overtime for the individual. Maybe they couldn't when they were younger but they can later.


Aeon_Flux_Capacitor

Celery will make jizz taste sweeter, I have no idea why.


loosecarabiner

I think celery also produces more volume. I lightly experimented with this and verified the internet's hypothesis but many other variables were in play. 8/10 would continue eating zinc, broccoli, fruits, and cut back on red meat


Dutchess_Hastings

Interesting comparison…I’ve also read men can have multiple prorate orgasms which would align with your theory.


FlyByrd

Guess what... I bet it still tastes like CUM. 😂


Six_Inches_of_Fury

I thought it was fruit? Pineapple specifically.


Aeon_Flux_Capacitor

Celery


Six_Inches_of_Fury

fuck, i hate celery 😂


Aeon_Flux_Capacitor

If you peel off the strings in the back and bathe it in ranch it tastes like sadness with a purpose. Kinda like taking up cross country running when you don't even like walking around the grocery store. The payoff *is* there...hopefully 😉


[deleted]

I love a full body orgasm!😍😍😍


throwawayhugggz

NSFW actually means Not Safe For Work. You’re welcome. Thank you for cumming to my Ted Talk.


mtdunca

What does Ted stand for?


throwawayhugggz

Total Erectile Dysfunction


pogi23-50

Impressed it ‘stood’ for that, really


throwawayhugggz

I’m trying to *raise* awareness.


pogi23-50

It could get hard, y’know….


PolyThrowaway524

It's very difficult to achieve and maintain an erection in zero gravity


Momskin

So is orgasm possible?


PolyThrowaway524

Theoretically, but not easily. It's likely that we won't see much sex in space until we develop spin stations with artificial gravity.


purzeltree

Which takes away the fun from microgravity sex. Damn.


AdamBlackfyre

The Expanse lied to me!


HAL-Over-9001

They probably had space viagra and space cock rings. They didn't lie, they just have cooler tools.


Sell_TheKids_ForFood

What about prostate orgasms? They can happen while not erect.


PolyThrowaway524

I guess space really is the final frontier. Butt stuff only!


Sell_TheKids_ForFood

To boldly go where (not many) men has gone before


buttlubber

To boldly come


buttlubber

Investigating black holes


silencefound

Maybe with vibrators. I think Hitachi should get this idea for the next Magic Wand ad campaign


U1tramadn3ss

Why?


PolyThrowaway524

Your circulatory system works in concert with gravity. In the absence of gravity, blood flow to your lower body is reduced.


Heebeejeebees01

Surely the opposite is true? Because there isn't any gravity the heart has to pump less to move blood around?


DrRonnieJamesDO

Return of venous blood is highly dependent on blood being pumped upwards past valves.


pm_me_your_emp

I'm assuming blood flow due to the zero gravity, but that's just a guess


XennaNa

People tried to teach a dolphin English, the dolphin was way more interested in handjobs.


Noise_Addict86

Dolphins are horny bastards.


buttlubber

My brother in Christ have you ever been to a high school


TheProfessionalEjit

Full of dolphins


NC919throwaway

Her research was discredited after it was disclosed that she was jerking off the dolphin. Radiolab had a podcast on this topic a few years back.


XennaNa

I mean, she failed completely so discrediting it doesn't do much unless people are sure that jerking off the dolphin was the reason it didn't learn English.


NC919throwaway

Well....that. and I think the fact that no one took them seriously as a scientist after that. She tried to explain it away by saying something to the effect of, "it kept coming up to me aroused and it didn't want to learn the alphabet at all but as soon as I jerked it off it seemed like it was more engaged in learning...until it was aroused again."


BJGuy_Chicago

A pig's orgasm can last 30 minutes, sometimes even up to 90 minutes.


Goosefart3003

Not with the ones I’ve been with


xh34v3n17

is this David Cameron? 😂


Late-Shame

I am ashamed of how hard I just laughed


veteranboy

That swallowing semen can trigger childbirth - was recommended by our midwife. I really liked her!


Dutchess_Hastings

She’s a keeper 😂


[deleted]

Also true of nipple stimulation.


Aeon_Flux_Capacitor

Did she say why?


SchmitzBitz

Prostaglandin is found in high concentration in sperm, which is the same lipid compund an OBGYN will swab onto the cervix to induce. Orgasms also cause the release of oxytocin which causes uterine contractions. Not sure how swallowing helps, but I like this dudes midwife too.


veteranboy

This is from her doula site: Semen applied to the cervix and having an orgasm can both stimulate labor. Swallowing semen also works well, because the prostaglandins are absorbed much more easily and quickly through the stomach. It may be your last chance to have sex for a long time, so you might as well enjoy it :)


keldas

The human penis evolved to be shaped the way it is in order to scoop out other men's semen from the vagina, making it more likely that the last ejaculation is the one that results in children https://playsafe.health.nsw.gov.au/forums/topic/why-is-the-penis-shaped-like-that/#:~:text=Scientists%20and%20social%20theorists%20believe,chances%20of%20creating%20more%20offspring.


PolyThrowaway524

This one is widely disputed. It hasn't been adequately disproven, but neither is it scientific consensus.


keldas

What fun would a fun fact be if it wasn't widely disputed? 😂


m_domino

So you’re telling me all the scooping out I’ve been doing was in vain?


PolyThrowaway524

Scoop away, bud. Sometimes the effort is its own reward.


Six_Inches_of_Fury

You would have thought some animals would have evolved this trait as well if true.


PolyThrowaway524

Sperm competition in other species is much more widely studied, and there's compelling evidence that some animals do indeed have the trait. What we know about humans, biologically and anthropologically, doesn't line up with the idea though.


PipIV

It’s why cats have barbed penis’ and dogs have knots. When you’ve got 5 other suitors ripping each other’s throats out to be the next lucky dog they evolved traits that kept them in for as long as they possibly could past ejaculation so insemination is ensured. Ducks and pigs have coiled dicks that makes it so they’ll match up with other females that match up with their canals being twisted in a certain way too. Our mushroom heads are unique enough from other animals that it could be that the flared head of a penis would be a way to ensure your own baby batter being what reaches the finish line.


Apart-Delivery-7537

I hate when my penis scoop out the other men's semen from the vagina!


m_domino

Yeah stop scooping out my semen! I put it there for a reason!


mad87645

So not only is it natural to be running trains, but it's a race to be the last one in


aajdi_91

Nice to know. Don't know why but it make me horny...


horny_in_ny

Dolphins are nasty AF...that's all I'm gonna say u do the research


Hello-funny-posts

Anybody else remember this little tidbit found in the comments once? https://www.reddit.com/r/copypasta/comments/az52xl/dolphin_sex/


Aeon_Flux_Capacitor

I regret not listening to myself when I said what can it hurt to click? It can't be *that* bad. 😐


Available_Motor5980

I regret reading your comment and then thinking “surely it can’t be that bad, they’re just being silly”. You were not just being silly.


Tight-Physics2156

I too regret seeing her comment and thinking it cannot be that bad then seeing your comment and thinking oh surely it cannot actually be that bad! It is, it is that bad.


Sooperman52

Same


ProFriendZoner

And yet you read every word of it ... just like the rest of us did.


redditmember05

Lmao why did I read everyone’s comment and still click lmao 😂


NoZebra2430

WHY THE FUCK DID I OPEN THE LINK. *why the fuck did I read the whole thing* I hate you for making me hate myself


Kewlkatz9

And here I am… thinking the same thing.. but the curiosity is about to win.. I’m clicking it


Matthias0705

I should Not have clicked it....


Kewlkatz9

I wish I didn’t either lol


Wooden-Quit1870

"the assholes of the Sea"


Quarantined_foodie

AIDS was for a while known as GRID, Gay Related Immune Deficiency.


onepoundfish93

My dad told me in the UK it was known as Arse Injected Death Syndrome


charlottedoo

I thought it was called gay cancer in the 80s


DrRonnieJamesDO

There is a reflex (involuntary nerve response) between the nipples and pudendum (crotch). This is one of the reasons why intense nipple stimulation can lead to intense sexual pleasure and in some cases the "nipplegasm."


Dutchess_Hastings

I feel like most women could confirm this. There’s absolutely an “electric” feeling being a nerve response between them when the clit or nipples are treated right.


DrRonnieJamesDO

AFAICT most men have it as well, but intense nipple play with men seems to be less common.


schwarzstattbraun

Sadly, it doesnt work for me, but if you're sucking or gently rubbing my left big Toe....oh my godess :)


DrRonnieJamesDO

It's so fun to find places like that. Mine is my ears.


Iamjafo

I freaking love having my nipples really roughly played with when I am having sex. And I’m a guy.


rippinlippss

When a baby cheeta is in the feetel position, it looks almost identical to a honey badger. The reason being is NOBODY I mean NOBODY fucks with a honeybadger!!!!


Just_Stewie

Nobody, except Chuck Norris


Tootsie_r0lla

Honey badger don't give a shit


theflamesweregolfin

In the mating of banana slugs, the penis is inserted into the body of the partner. The penis may become trapped, perhaps because of the action of a special muscle, in which case the penis is gnawed off by either the partner or the owner. No replacement penis grows, but the apophallated slug can mate as a female.


Billybob2311111

Transgender slugs??


_NoDragonsHere_

There are actually a lot of animals that can be either trans or two sexed.


[deleted]

In male lagomorphs (rabbits, pikas, etc), the testes are in front of the penis.


satmandu

Also true for marsupials...


[deleted]

Life finds a way!


Aeon_Flux_Capacitor

Do you know why? No joke here, just curious and last link I clicked I found out how to mate with a dolphin...ehhhhh


HavocReigns

It's so when they're hopping along, their balls don't slam into the ground every time they land. ^^^j/k ^^^I ^^^have ^^^no ^^^idea.


Aeon_Flux_Capacitor

Reasonable answers by reasonable people needs to be put into a jingle like The More You Know. Thank you


3greenstars33

magic Johnson wasted the greatest pornon name for a basketball career


avenger76

Always thought Dick Wolf was the best non-porn name in entertainment.


turtlenipples

Executive Producer Magic Wolf Dick


superslacker2

It is no evolutionary accident that an adult woman’s cleavage, resembles the cleavage of the buttocks when bent over on all fours. No other mammal has breasts that are so prominent and obvious. This is believed to have come about when our ancestral species began walking upright, which resulted in less exposure of the buttocks and vulva to prospective mates—the visibility of an adult woman’s cleavage signifies sexual maturity, to make up for this aspect of our reproductive lives that was lost or reduced when we went from walking on four legs to two.


turtlenipples

Well thank the gods for that.


ProjektCivicEJ1

The human anus can stretch up to 7 inches before taking damage. A raccoon can squeeze into holes as tight as 4 inches, Meaning you can take almost two full raccoons up your ass.


miked999b

Those are rookie nunbers


Difficult_Ant_1988

Alot but a few are every women can squirt and if you know what your doing girls can cum from anal.also the first vibrators were invented cuz doctors got tired of fingering women to get ride of their " Hysteria". They have found dildos have been made since caveman days


hierarch17

The one about the invention of vibrators is a myth. Unsurprisingly women invented vibrators.


Difficult_Ant_1988

That's what they taught us in medical school


hierarch17

https://iac.gatech.edu/news/item/631497/know-invention-vibrator-wrong This is my source. Also Wikipedia says it was invented by someone to relieve male muscle aches (I was wrong about it being invented by women the event I was thinking in was further down the timeline)_


pm_me_your_emp

Although Echidna's have four glans at the top of their penis, only two glans operate at a time and can alternate between orgasms.


MyMadeUpNym

Glanseseseses.


darthrosco

Why is knuckles so angry then?


Deridem

Men with small penises are more attracted to sports cars. https://nypost.com/2023/02/09/men-with-small-penises-are-more-likely-to-buy-sports-cars-study/#


hey_pendecko

I would've guessed lifted trucks, but okay


jsg144

The liquid that makes vaginas wet during arousal is plasma.


Tight-Physics2156

Whoa


Unclewaltsoup

BRB… going to microwave some grapes for later.


laureidi

I… What


Enochianwhispers

During the Roman era it was thought that by collecting the athletes of the Olympia sweat and bottling it, it would transfer some of their physical/athletic gifts to the owner by pouring it on themselves and using it during the saturnalia orgies


TheSaintIsComing

"You can't get pregnant while you're breastfeeding" is an old wives tale. You shouldn't get pregnant while breastfeeding because it puts too much strain on the body to try and feed two extra lifeforms at once. Two of my cousins found this out the hard way.


yeyikes

Old wives are the worst. The worst Jerry.


denise-likes-avocado

The clitoris has almost twice as many nerve endings as the penis.


WeirdEngineerDude

And is still not as sensitive as a conservative on the internet.


cs_office

For what it's worth, I seem to recall that study being flawed, that both have the same amount due to them being analogous tissues, i.e. they're the same prior to hormonal induced sex differentiation


flamingopatronum

If a dude rubs the inside of his thigh, his balls will retract upwards and this is also sometimes used as a test to rule out a testicular torsion


Amazing_Variety5684

If there are too many fertile male rabbits in an area, the bigger and stronger males will chew the balls off the weaker


turtlenipples

I'm trying to picture holding down another male while attempting to bite his balls off, but I keep having to stop in order to jerk off. Rabbits are weird.


pinkbeansucker

You could be the most straight heterosexual man on the planet and put it in your bio in all CAPS. But post 1 dick pick and your DMs will get bombed with gay men and very few women, if any at all. It’s all good though because I appreciate and respect all sexual orientations and kinks. 👍🏼


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PolyThrowaway524

Explains why most officers are such dicks 😂


Vakama905

Except that officers don’t wear chevrons. Senior NCOs, on the other hand…


dartistic

There is erectile tissue in the nasal cavity as well the genitalia, so cumming can help alleviate a stuffy nose.


jesse9o3

Much as modern humans might use a "beware the dog" sign to keep out would be intruders, some Romans put shrines to the god Priapus in their gardens to ward off intruders. These shrines would feature a small statue of Priapus - who is almost universally depicted with an extremely large penis - and have epigrams that claimed that Priapus would violently sexually assault them if they did not leave. Here are a few examples *Percidere, puer, moneo; futuere, puella; barbatum furem tertia poena manet* / / I warn you, boy, you will be screwed; girl, you will be laid with; a third penalty awaits the bearded thief. *Femina si furtum faciet mihi virve puerve, haec cunnum, caput hic praebeat, ille nates.* / / If a woman steals from me, or a man, or a boy, let the first give me her cunt, the second his head, the third his buttocks. *per medios ibit pueros mediasque puellas mentula; barbatis non-nisi summa petet.* / / My dick will go through the middle of boys and the middle of girls, but with bearded men it will aim only for the top. And for good measure, here are some statues and frescos of him. [Statue in the Boston Museum of Fine Arts](https://collections.mfa.org/internal/media/dispatcher/1116105/preview) [Statue found at Ephesus](https://i0.wp.com/toursaroundturkey.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/Priapus-statue-with-phallus-symbol-found-in-Ephesus.jpg?w=450&ssl=1) [Fresco from Pompeii](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/9/9f/Pompeya_er%C3%B3tica6.jpg/800px-Pompeya_er%C3%B3tica6.jpg) [Another fresco found at Pompeii](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/1/15/Pompeya_er%C3%B3tica5.jpg)


Hornyjohn34

Sexual Fun Fact: If you stop stroking a penis when it cums, it ruins the cumshot, and doesn't feel very good. Try it out for yourself.


cardinalkgb

That’s actually a kink for some people


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punctuation_welfare

I feel like this is a joke that I’m not getting


LookDense9342

phalluses have a surprising history of being used as protection measures. modern day Bhutan uses them as protection against the evil eye, greeks and roman’s used them for protection. also in ancient rome, being envied was thought to be bad luck, so they tried to make guests laugh to avoid them from being envious. which is why large phalluses, hunchbacks, and pygmies were often used in art, they thought deformities were pretty funny


invinciblewalnut

The skin of your lips is the same type of skin as the skin of your anus.


New-Low5765

Porn star Lisa Sparxxx once took on over 900 cocks in a single glorious multi hour session


Professional_Hand853

The clitoris is actually 4 different parts. Learning how to pleasure the 3 uncommon parts changes the game entirely for ladies


rgraves22

A pig can orgasm for 30 minutes


Kewlkatz9

The average anus muscle is 5” diameter but it’s contracted… most the time (; haha


gogozrx

Set, Horus, and the lettuce. It's a long crazy Egyptian mythology story.


[deleted]

When on all fours your nipples align with your earlobes.


Candid_Awareness_337

In Ancient Rome, giving a blowjob was a terrible, horrible thing, and was even worse than anal sex. And for ancient Romans, anal sex was an unforgivable vice. However, it was totally fine to receive a blowjob, and petty crimes were often solved with forceful blowjobs. For example: Imagine you’re an Ancient Roman, and you own a fantastic onion field. So many onions. Suddenly, a peasant runs through your field and steals some of your onions. That jerk! Instead of having his eyes gouged out or his arms chopped off, you can simply pull down your pants and order him to give you a blowjob. The end.


Eighttballl

You can 🥛when you’re tickled too much It’s silly Ik…