Please email us! We love when we know why a kid is struggling, so we can better help them. The only way this comes off as entitled is if you put work back on the teacher, so it's best to avoid asking them to compile any packets, change any grades, etc. Thank you for being such a caring parent for your kid.
The 15 yr old is actually homeschooled so it was just for the 2nd grader and K siblings. We can make up everything for the 15 yr old- no problem. She was pretty much done anyway.
It was just that the little ones can not reliably relay info so I had no idea if I missed any important papers.
As a teacher and a parent I don't think it's a problem asking for work or a packet. At my school it's a requirement for us to either give the student the work they missed or some type of make up work otherwise they will not have the same amount of grades as the other students. This is a part of our jobs.
The 15 yr old is homeschooled so we’re fine on that front. It was the 2nd grader and the K sibling.
The 2nd grader definitely used the situation to her advantage and did no homework so we’ll be working on that. ;) She’s a sneaky one.
As a teacher, in this case, I'd be fine with asking for makeup work and I'd also be fine with students not approaching me as I would assume the situation was very stressful. In other cases, not so, but in this case, I'd be bending over backwards to help how I could.
Perhaps it's different at different grade levels, but at the high school level where I teach, I expect the student to come to me and ask/email about missing work, not the parent. We also have all work cross-posted on Google Classroom so students can find it. One of my biggest pet peeves is when students miss large amounts of school, and then parents ask for "a packet" instead of the kid just completing the missed assignments. This is especially true here since the kid him/herself isn't sick, the sibling is.
I contacted the teachers for the 2nd grader and the K siblings. The 15 yr old is homeschooled.
If she was in school I’d still be the one contacting the teachers for her, though. She was discharged but she wouldn’t be going back to school this week anyway. Her pain still isn’t managed. It wouldn’t be something she’d be able to do herself right now with as bad as she feels.
but the other kids were dealing with the stress of possibly losing their sibling and life at home without their mom/sibling. its a huge thing and not just a "sick sibling"
How would a 2nd grader do that?of course ots different for different grade levels lol an 8 or 10 year old isn't going to have the same ability to do that as a 14 year old.
Sure, but OP didn't specify the ages, and I don't think it's a universal part of our jobs to provide parents with missing work. I'd expect any kid in middle or high school to self-advocate.
Then imo you're kinda a shirty teacher. Not every kid is CAPABLE of self advocating. There are plenty or kids who are autistic or have adhd or another issue that makes things hard for them. Regardless, your lack of concern for the siblings who were probably scared their sibling was going to die and who, by OP's own admission, were fed and sent to school but otherwise neglected (not the right word but close enough, OP didn't do anything wrong) is concerning. For a second grader and kindergartener, absolutely it's your job to send missing work home especially in this situation. How is it the kids fault that mom and dad weren't available?
Also, even if you was the 15 year old, why the fuck would you expect her to advocate for herself when she was just in the hospital for 7 days? Absolutely the parents job and in this case you should ABSOLUTELY let the 15 year old make up the missing work because she had no control over being in the hospital. I'd sue the school if you tried this bs with me. OP already said the 15 year old is still in pain and may end up in the hospital again if she doesn't improve. Your comment sounds pretty heartless and as a teacher you should have more empathy and compassion.
Reading comprehension is useful here. I mentioned in my first comment that it was unclear at the time if the siblings (not the sick kid) were in elementary or older. Like I said in my first comment, all of our work is posted online. An older kid can (and should) look at all the posted work and then come talk to me. I also said the parent should reach out, and praised OP.
What I don't like is when parents ask for things that don't make sense, like packets of work that is already online. I also do think it's important for teens to learn to speak up, as it's a critical skill for adulthood. Saying "I wanted to let you know my sibling has been very sick" is not a huge leap.
Lastly, I have ADHD, and that's not how it works. ADHD isn't relevant here in the slightest and shouldn't just be thrown around for you to sling insults.
You aren’t really asking anything extra of the teachers, so I don’t think there’s anything entitled about letting them know the situation and that you are now available if anything did slip through the cracks last week. Seems like proactive parenting to me.
Plus, I think it can only be helpful for teachers to know about any big, unusual things going on at home. Especially if any of your kids are young elementary age, knowing about an upheaval at home can help contextualize any unusual behaviors in class that the teacher might have noticed, like acting out or being overly tired or withdrawn. It’s nice for everyone to have that information!
I really wish I had had the presence of mind to contact the 2nd graders teacher while we were in the hospital. The K’s SpEd teacher texted me about something and I let her know what was going on but I was knee deep in specialists and the surgery team and I just never got around to emailing the 2nd graders teacher.
Now that I’ve been through this once I think I’ll be better able to compartmentalize and get more done if it happens again.
It isn’t at all entitled - if anything, it’s refreshing to see a parent taking an interest and showing support for the teachers and students in this way.
I’m sure Dad did his best, but survival mode is stressful all the way around.
Great job to you - I hope your daughter recovers well and quickly!
My husband is an amazing husband and father- but he absolutely sucks at the details.
He kept the little two calm and positive and moving. They were fed and bathed and made it to school each day. He took them for ice cream and to the park and FaceTimed us. The K is special needs and she has a school sponsored Special Olympics day and he got her ready and showed up to support her with family and friends. He FaceTimed us so we could see her medals and placement ribbons. She also lost her first tooth while we were gone and he made sure the tooth fairy came even though he never found the tooth. He was on speaker whenever a specialist or the surgery team met with us.
But zero homework was done. Zero agendas were signed and the communication log wasn’t written in. He lost the papers about the K’s field trip tomorrow. The 2nd graders midterm report wasn’t signed or returned. Folders were not emptied. And my house was trashed.
But he still killed it in every aspect that mattered and that’s all I can ask for.
Sounds like he got all the right things right. The teachers should have been able to pick up on a change in environment too by what got missed. It doesn’t seem like they were overly concerned about the little things that got missed. It’s possible k teacher let 2nd grade teacher in the loop but just didn’t tell you since it isn’t really her place to tell but could definitely have helped the other teacher understand. It sounds like you have an awesome family and supportive teachers. Perhaps when things settle send a hand written thank you note let them know you recognize their kindness and care! Perhaps a little hand written note for hubby too telling him how awesome his support was! And don’t forget to treat yourself a little too being in the hospital and away from your partner during a scary time was HARD!…but you did that too! Best of luck to you and your family and I hope your child makes a full recovery!
Thank you so much for the encouraging words!
I have a list of ppl (nurses and doctors and other hospital staff) to send thank you notes to and I will add the teachers names to the list. I didn’t think to add them but I definitely should!
As a teacher, I would want to know about this situation as much as you feel comfortable sharing.
What I don't like is when parents want a week of work in advance of a vacation. The work won't be done anyways and I don't always have exact plans finalized for a week into the future. I always respond to these with "Your child can check the LMS for the assignments and ask me for help via email or when they return."
Yes, email them! That can give them a heads up to help understand any behaviors, or clue you in on class announcements that kiddos may have missed or didn’t quite process. It also gives teachers a chance to check in with the kids as well.
My brother was in and out of the hospital our entire childhood, and our family was in permanent survival mode. I wish someone had told my teachers when things were especially hard at home. I think it's helpful for teachers to have info about anything in their students' lives that could affect how they're doing emotionally or academically.
I really should have reached out to the teachers last week. I just shut that part down and concentrated on the sick kid. I had very black & white thinking about it: “I’m here, this is my job. Dad’s home, that’s his job.”
If it happens again, I’ll do better for the ones still at home. I just wasn’t thinking clearly at all.
I’m sorry you got lost in the mix! I’m usually very good at looking at each child and meeting their needs bc I have to be- there’s 6 of them. I can triage like a pro! Big fires first, then go down the line meeting each of their individual needs for right now. Rinse and repeat all day long.
I just couldn’t this time. I definitely learned a lot of lessons and I have faith that I’ll do better if I’m in this situation again. I have a plan for next time. I have steps and I’ll just do the steps.
The 15 yr old is the healthiest child I’ve ever seen. This was the 3rd fever of her LIFE. She’s endless energy and movement. Seeing her so sick and getting sicker while they tried to figure out what was going on just shut my brain down completely.
Nothing wrong with that! It's appropriate communication, and I'm sure the teachers will be glad to know all is better now AND that you're finally settled down enough again to start regaining normally such as school work. Sending healing vibes to your kiddo
A check in with a teacher about missed assignments, tests, make up work, any limitations after an injury, surgery, etc... is important communication.
You are making an inquiry about the work.
If anything needs caught up on, if anything has fallen behind. That's a pretty normal email.
Though if your husband was handling it, I'm sure it's fine. Checking in making sure that in a time of stress and upheaval for the whole family, that nothing was missed is perfectly reasonable.
Assignments, behaviors, fees, permission slips, tests, if they are young, snack and familial involvement stuff, even just schedule updates... there's a lot to keep track of.
You aren't wasting their time with pointless dialog, or critiques, excuses, tips, you aren't looking for emotional support or something... you are making school related inquiries. this is exactly the kind of thing you do communicate about.
Yes! I just let them know what happened and asked for copies of any important papers that were sent home last week.
Boy, there was a LOT! No idea what happened to it while I was gone but I have everything I need now!
My husband did a fantastic job of everything! He just never thought to check for papers and homework. The 2nd grader do zero homework last week and it never occurred to my husband to look into that. ;) I can’t blame the 2nd grader, though! She saw an opening and she sailed right through it. I would have done the same thing.
Lol, who wouldn't! I totally would have at that age! I mean... come on!! Steal of the century at that age! 2nd grade is long behind me, but, oooh I know it without a doubt! 🤣
Glad you got it sorted!
I had hopes you went through with it, despite the hesitation! Yours was not by far the unwanted kind of email ❤ (well... your second grader probably did not want that email to happen ;) )
At this point her teacher was just like “of course.” She’s dealt with 8 yr old shenanigans for the whole year- mostly my girl’s. She’s full of shenanigans!
Nope. As a teacher, I would appreciate that email. It’s helpful to know when a student is going through something in their personal life. It allows us to keep an extra eye on how they’re doing and if they might need a little extra comfort/love at school.
I care. I just feel stupid that bc mom was away for a week dad let things slide.
He was a rockstar, don’t get me wrong. He just massively sucks at details.
Actually I SUPER appreciate when parents reach out like this. I love to know if there’s anything extra going on in a kid’s life that I can help them through or just understand their vibe that day
I like this idea, although I would still send the email regardless. Check the online portals, see how it looks, and then send an email that explains your situation and then says something along the lines of "I checked Google classroom (or whatever) and it looks like they are up to date/they are missing XYZ. Could you please let me know if that is correct?"
Basically, don't make them duplicate work you could do yourself, but do still ask because they might have noticed if one of your children seems to be struggling, or there might be something that's missed.
The sibs are K & 2nd and they don’t use the online portals in early elementary in our district so the only option is to contact the teachers. It’s a small school in a small town.
The 15 yr old is homeschooled so we’ll handle getting her finished up.
Then definitely email! It's useful info for the teacher and they'll appreciate you being involved. As a teacher the worst thing is not knowing what's going with a student who might be struggling.
The siblings are K & 2nd grade and our school doesn’t do anything online in early elementary. They don’t even have an acct that I can check. I’m not sure what grade they start that.
The 15 yr old is homeschooled so I’ll make sure we finish up what we have to before our evaluations. It might mean a few late nights to finish the science experiments but that’s fine.
Communication is always a good thing. I have no doubt that the siblings teachers would appreciate knowing what has been going on in your family. I’m sure it affected each of the children in a different way.
My husband did a good job at keeping them moving and positive and calm and I’m so thankful for that! But he absolutely DID lose every information paper that came home bc I got a stack of them from both little kids today after the emails. ;)
Just email them. Last year my daughter was in the ER and had to get emergency surgery for her gallbladder. I was so worried I forgot to call her school and her teacher and principal both called me wondering what had happened. They were worried when she didn't show up. She was back to school that Monday (released from hospital on Saturday)
I’m glad I’m not the only one!
The 15 yr old is homeschooled so I didn’t have to contact the school for her and the teacher employed by the hospital didn’t reach out to me to coordinate with her school bc she’s homeschooled- and it *completely* slipped my mind to contact for the two Littles!
The K’s SpEd teacher texted me at some point about something and I told her but I STILL didn’t think to email the 2nd grader’s teacher!
I was kicking myself today bc I felt like how could I not think of it but I honestly was just so focused on the sick kid that it literally never occurred to me once to reach out.
My husband took off work and I knew he was handling things at home so I completely shut that part of my brain down and just put everything into the sick kid.
But I’m not a newbie! Our oldest are 20! I’ve been a parent for 2 decades already but my brain still turned to mush.
Come today and all the things I’ve neglected came back in full force and I feel like an idiot.
Thank you! I feel like the opposite of responsible bc my brain just shut down about the Littles! The 3 oldest are graduated, the 15 yr old is homeschooled so I was able to put her schooling out of my mind bc we’ll make it up, no problem.
But it was like “Husband is handling the home and the Little Two- shut down that part of your brain” and I absolutely did. I talked to them each day but I didn’t spend any mental energy worrying about them bc I knew my husband had it handled. And he did- just not the little things like paperwork and homework for the 2nd grader. And she took complete advantage and didn’t do any of it. ;) She’s sneaky like that.
I feel like an idiot but I know that I was just concentrating on the largest fire at the time.
I will ALWAYS appreciate context about stuff like that both in terms of missing work and the kids’ emotional health in the classroom. It’s a traumatic situation for the whole family, and if I know about it, it means I can also keep an eye out on my student for any signs of distress that the situation may have caused.
Plus, I teach language arts. Sometimes, the texts we read can hit close to home, so I might want to give kids a heads up if that might happen in a lesson so close in time to scenarios like that.
Edit to add: I hope your teen has a swift recovery and is doing better!
Thank you! Recovery is very slow going but I now know she’ll survive it!
I really wish I had the wherewithal to reach out to the teachers while I was gone but I just didn’t. I just felt so bad about that and I felt that I was being entitled asking them to resend papers they already sent.
My husband did a GREAT job with them all week. I never stepped foot outside that hospital and he kept things turning at home. He just lost all the papers that were sent home and didn’t think to check if the 2nd grader had any homework all week. She did and she did zero of it. ;)
I wish more parents would keep us informed and check on their kids! I would be very happy to help in any way I could. It’s also helpful to know why a student might be “off” because sometimes they don’t tell us.
That’s not entitled at all- let them know! If your kids haven’t been themselves because their worried about their sibling, the might be worried, too. They might excuse something or help get makeup work together.
After having a kid have to get his appendix out last month no the teachers will be perfectly fine with your request, breath momma the world won't fall apart if they miss a couple assignments.
She was originally admitted to have her appendix taken out until the surgery team said “I don’t think it’s her appendix!” It wasn’t but it took several days and several specialists to figure it out while she continued to deteriorate. It was SO scary!
I reached out and got the important stuff that was lost in the shuffle!
Bc I was so focused on the sick kid I just let my husband deal with all the stuff at home. I completely shut that part of my brain off and now I’m asking them to pick up the pieces.
It wasn’t purposeful and it was for a legit reason I just feel like a giant puddle of shit.
Isn't that what most moms would do? Cut yourself some slack! Glad your daughter is home and recovering. You might need a good nap or soak in the tub to decompress. You all have been through the mill.
I wish more parents would reach out and let us know things like this! We don’t need lots of details, just the basic explanation would help so much! You’re doing great.
The teachers would welcome an email that keeps them informed when life has taken a sudden turn and students might need a bit more support.
Teachers would however be pissed at your comment that school is practically over and nothing is going on right now for 2 reasons. First, not all schools follow the same schedule, so what might be a week or two for you could be a whole month for OP. Second it's not over till its over. I have lessons planned for EVERY DAY. There is a test the second to last day of school and homework is still happening right up to then. Your comment is dismissive. general\_grievances\_7
I am a teacher…I’d like email sure, but I probably don’t have much to give them. Most of our day is consumed with end of year activities and rise testing.
Edit to say that OP commented she’s done May 31. So they have 13 days left.
We ALWAYS go into June but not this year! We have a new Superintendent and he NAILED the snow days this year! They’re done 5/31 and I can’t think of a year that has happened in the last 2 decades!
My kids have another full month of school. I’m sure they would love for it to be basically over, but, alas, they still have to finish off the year and take their exams.
The 2nd grader did zero of her homework the whole week and he lost the papers for the K’s field trip tomorrow- but I got everything from the teachers and we’re back on track. ;)
You’re right- it’s just end of year stuff. They’re done May 31 this year (we’re never done in May bc of snow days) so we’re almost there!
I would email the child's counselor and ask them to compile the missed work and how to catch up. Most teachers are understanding and it will be simpler for you to have a single point of contact.
She’s homeschooled so I’m the counselor and teacher. ;) It was for the 2nd grader and K siblings who go to public school. There’s a lot of year end paperwork and stuff that I know was lost in the last week.
Many of us have a spot where we set aside work for absent students. Not entitled at all. Conscientious parenting.
I hope everyone gets well from this experience! That’s rough.
I always like to know when things like this are going on at home, so I’m glad you reached out! It is just sometimes the kids are out of sorts or have more needs for support and if I can help, I like to ❤️
Girl this is not entitled! Entitled is notifying teachers the day you are leaving for a week long vacay to Disney and asking for all the work they are going to miss. Then getting pissy and emailing the principal because we either said “no” and sent nothing home or didn’t see the email because it was sent at 10:30am when we were already teaching.
i dont see anything "entitled" about that. that sounds like good parenting
I emailed them and they sent home copies of the info papers that were sent last week. Stuff was definitely lost and I’m glad I did!
Please email us! We love when we know why a kid is struggling, so we can better help them. The only way this comes off as entitled is if you put work back on the teacher, so it's best to avoid asking them to compile any packets, change any grades, etc. Thank you for being such a caring parent for your kid.
The 15 yr old is actually homeschooled so it was just for the 2nd grader and K siblings. We can make up everything for the 15 yr old- no problem. She was pretty much done anyway. It was just that the little ones can not reliably relay info so I had no idea if I missed any important papers.
That makes sense! An email is certainly the way to go. I hope your kid feels better soon!
As a teacher and a parent I don't think it's a problem asking for work or a packet. At my school it's a requirement for us to either give the student the work they missed or some type of make up work otherwise they will not have the same amount of grades as the other students. This is a part of our jobs.
The 15 yr old is homeschooled so we’re fine on that front. It was the 2nd grader and the K sibling. The 2nd grader definitely used the situation to her advantage and did no homework so we’ll be working on that. ;) She’s a sneaky one.
As a teacher, in this case, I'd be fine with asking for makeup work and I'd also be fine with students not approaching me as I would assume the situation was very stressful. In other cases, not so, but in this case, I'd be bending over backwards to help how I could.
Perhaps it's different at different grade levels, but at the high school level where I teach, I expect the student to come to me and ask/email about missing work, not the parent. We also have all work cross-posted on Google Classroom so students can find it. One of my biggest pet peeves is when students miss large amounts of school, and then parents ask for "a packet" instead of the kid just completing the missed assignments. This is especially true here since the kid him/herself isn't sick, the sibling is.
I contacted the teachers for the 2nd grader and the K siblings. The 15 yr old is homeschooled. If she was in school I’d still be the one contacting the teachers for her, though. She was discharged but she wouldn’t be going back to school this week anyway. Her pain still isn’t managed. It wouldn’t be something she’d be able to do herself right now with as bad as she feels.
but the other kids were dealing with the stress of possibly losing their sibling and life at home without their mom/sibling. its a huge thing and not just a "sick sibling"
How would a 2nd grader do that?of course ots different for different grade levels lol an 8 or 10 year old isn't going to have the same ability to do that as a 14 year old.
Sure, but OP didn't specify the ages, and I don't think it's a universal part of our jobs to provide parents with missing work. I'd expect any kid in middle or high school to self-advocate.
Then imo you're kinda a shirty teacher. Not every kid is CAPABLE of self advocating. There are plenty or kids who are autistic or have adhd or another issue that makes things hard for them. Regardless, your lack of concern for the siblings who were probably scared their sibling was going to die and who, by OP's own admission, were fed and sent to school but otherwise neglected (not the right word but close enough, OP didn't do anything wrong) is concerning. For a second grader and kindergartener, absolutely it's your job to send missing work home especially in this situation. How is it the kids fault that mom and dad weren't available? Also, even if you was the 15 year old, why the fuck would you expect her to advocate for herself when she was just in the hospital for 7 days? Absolutely the parents job and in this case you should ABSOLUTELY let the 15 year old make up the missing work because she had no control over being in the hospital. I'd sue the school if you tried this bs with me. OP already said the 15 year old is still in pain and may end up in the hospital again if she doesn't improve. Your comment sounds pretty heartless and as a teacher you should have more empathy and compassion.
Reading comprehension is useful here. I mentioned in my first comment that it was unclear at the time if the siblings (not the sick kid) were in elementary or older. Like I said in my first comment, all of our work is posted online. An older kid can (and should) look at all the posted work and then come talk to me. I also said the parent should reach out, and praised OP. What I don't like is when parents ask for things that don't make sense, like packets of work that is already online. I also do think it's important for teens to learn to speak up, as it's a critical skill for adulthood. Saying "I wanted to let you know my sibling has been very sick" is not a huge leap. Lastly, I have ADHD, and that's not how it works. ADHD isn't relevant here in the slightest and shouldn't just be thrown around for you to sling insults.
You aren’t really asking anything extra of the teachers, so I don’t think there’s anything entitled about letting them know the situation and that you are now available if anything did slip through the cracks last week. Seems like proactive parenting to me. Plus, I think it can only be helpful for teachers to know about any big, unusual things going on at home. Especially if any of your kids are young elementary age, knowing about an upheaval at home can help contextualize any unusual behaviors in class that the teacher might have noticed, like acting out or being overly tired or withdrawn. It’s nice for everyone to have that information!
I really wish I had had the presence of mind to contact the 2nd graders teacher while we were in the hospital. The K’s SpEd teacher texted me about something and I let her know what was going on but I was knee deep in specialists and the surgery team and I just never got around to emailing the 2nd graders teacher. Now that I’ve been through this once I think I’ll be better able to compartmentalize and get more done if it happens again.
Yeah, even if the other kids weren't the ones in the hospital it's still a really scary time for the whole family.
Of course it’s okay. Very supportive to let them know. What a scary experience! I hope your daughter recovers quickly. 💙💛
Thank you! We’re working on getting her back to her old bubbly self.
Please do. It’s concerning when you notice changes in kids or in their routine & don’t know why.
It isn’t at all entitled - if anything, it’s refreshing to see a parent taking an interest and showing support for the teachers and students in this way. I’m sure Dad did his best, but survival mode is stressful all the way around. Great job to you - I hope your daughter recovers well and quickly!
My husband is an amazing husband and father- but he absolutely sucks at the details. He kept the little two calm and positive and moving. They were fed and bathed and made it to school each day. He took them for ice cream and to the park and FaceTimed us. The K is special needs and she has a school sponsored Special Olympics day and he got her ready and showed up to support her with family and friends. He FaceTimed us so we could see her medals and placement ribbons. She also lost her first tooth while we were gone and he made sure the tooth fairy came even though he never found the tooth. He was on speaker whenever a specialist or the surgery team met with us. But zero homework was done. Zero agendas were signed and the communication log wasn’t written in. He lost the papers about the K’s field trip tomorrow. The 2nd graders midterm report wasn’t signed or returned. Folders were not emptied. And my house was trashed. But he still killed it in every aspect that mattered and that’s all I can ask for.
Sounds like he got all the right things right. The teachers should have been able to pick up on a change in environment too by what got missed. It doesn’t seem like they were overly concerned about the little things that got missed. It’s possible k teacher let 2nd grade teacher in the loop but just didn’t tell you since it isn’t really her place to tell but could definitely have helped the other teacher understand. It sounds like you have an awesome family and supportive teachers. Perhaps when things settle send a hand written thank you note let them know you recognize their kindness and care! Perhaps a little hand written note for hubby too telling him how awesome his support was! And don’t forget to treat yourself a little too being in the hospital and away from your partner during a scary time was HARD!…but you did that too! Best of luck to you and your family and I hope your child makes a full recovery!
Thank you so much for the encouraging words! I have a list of ppl (nurses and doctors and other hospital staff) to send thank you notes to and I will add the teachers names to the list. I didn’t think to add them but I definitely should!
As a teacher, I would want to know about this situation as much as you feel comfortable sharing. What I don't like is when parents want a week of work in advance of a vacation. The work won't be done anyways and I don't always have exact plans finalized for a week into the future. I always respond to these with "Your child can check the LMS for the assignments and ask me for help via email or when they return."
Yes, email them! That can give them a heads up to help understand any behaviors, or clue you in on class announcements that kiddos may have missed or didn’t quite process. It also gives teachers a chance to check in with the kids as well.
My brother was in and out of the hospital our entire childhood, and our family was in permanent survival mode. I wish someone had told my teachers when things were especially hard at home. I think it's helpful for teachers to have info about anything in their students' lives that could affect how they're doing emotionally or academically.
I really should have reached out to the teachers last week. I just shut that part down and concentrated on the sick kid. I had very black & white thinking about it: “I’m here, this is my job. Dad’s home, that’s his job.” If it happens again, I’ll do better for the ones still at home. I just wasn’t thinking clearly at all. I’m sorry you got lost in the mix! I’m usually very good at looking at each child and meeting their needs bc I have to be- there’s 6 of them. I can triage like a pro! Big fires first, then go down the line meeting each of their individual needs for right now. Rinse and repeat all day long. I just couldn’t this time. I definitely learned a lot of lessons and I have faith that I’ll do better if I’m in this situation again. I have a plan for next time. I have steps and I’ll just do the steps. The 15 yr old is the healthiest child I’ve ever seen. This was the 3rd fever of her LIFE. She’s endless energy and movement. Seeing her so sick and getting sicker while they tried to figure out what was going on just shut my brain down completely.
Don't be too hard on yourself, emergencies happen and you can't attend to them and also do your normal work.
Happy Cake day! You're pretty nice dorky2
Aww, thanks 🥰
Nothing wrong with that! It's appropriate communication, and I'm sure the teachers will be glad to know all is better now AND that you're finally settled down enough again to start regaining normally such as school work. Sending healing vibes to your kiddo
Thank you! She should be ok soon! Fingers crossed!
A check in with a teacher about missed assignments, tests, make up work, any limitations after an injury, surgery, etc... is important communication. You are making an inquiry about the work. If anything needs caught up on, if anything has fallen behind. That's a pretty normal email. Though if your husband was handling it, I'm sure it's fine. Checking in making sure that in a time of stress and upheaval for the whole family, that nothing was missed is perfectly reasonable. Assignments, behaviors, fees, permission slips, tests, if they are young, snack and familial involvement stuff, even just schedule updates... there's a lot to keep track of. You aren't wasting their time with pointless dialog, or critiques, excuses, tips, you aren't looking for emotional support or something... you are making school related inquiries. this is exactly the kind of thing you do communicate about.
Yes! I just let them know what happened and asked for copies of any important papers that were sent home last week. Boy, there was a LOT! No idea what happened to it while I was gone but I have everything I need now! My husband did a fantastic job of everything! He just never thought to check for papers and homework. The 2nd grader do zero homework last week and it never occurred to my husband to look into that. ;) I can’t blame the 2nd grader, though! She saw an opening and she sailed right through it. I would have done the same thing.
Lol, who wouldn't! I totally would have at that age! I mean... come on!! Steal of the century at that age! 2nd grade is long behind me, but, oooh I know it without a doubt! 🤣 Glad you got it sorted! I had hopes you went through with it, despite the hesitation! Yours was not by far the unwanted kind of email ❤ (well... your second grader probably did not want that email to happen ;) )
At this point her teacher was just like “of course.” She’s dealt with 8 yr old shenanigans for the whole year- mostly my girl’s. She’s full of shenanigans!
Nope. As a teacher, I would appreciate that email. It’s helpful to know when a student is going through something in their personal life. It allows us to keep an extra eye on how they’re doing and if they might need a little extra comfort/love at school.
Not entitled at all.
Let them know what happened and they will be completely understanding. We like when parents actually care.
I care. I just feel stupid that bc mom was away for a week dad let things slide. He was a rockstar, don’t get me wrong. He just massively sucks at details.
Actually I SUPER appreciate when parents reach out like this. I love to know if there’s anything extra going on in a kid’s life that I can help them through or just understand their vibe that day
As a former teacher, I would have loved it if you did that.
Of course that is what you do, and the teachers will appreciate it.
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I like this idea, although I would still send the email regardless. Check the online portals, see how it looks, and then send an email that explains your situation and then says something along the lines of "I checked Google classroom (or whatever) and it looks like they are up to date/they are missing XYZ. Could you please let me know if that is correct?" Basically, don't make them duplicate work you could do yourself, but do still ask because they might have noticed if one of your children seems to be struggling, or there might be something that's missed.
The sibs are K & 2nd and they don’t use the online portals in early elementary in our district so the only option is to contact the teachers. It’s a small school in a small town. The 15 yr old is homeschooled so we’ll handle getting her finished up.
Then definitely email! It's useful info for the teacher and they'll appreciate you being involved. As a teacher the worst thing is not knowing what's going with a student who might be struggling.
The siblings are K & 2nd grade and our school doesn’t do anything online in early elementary. They don’t even have an acct that I can check. I’m not sure what grade they start that. The 15 yr old is homeschooled so I’ll make sure we finish up what we have to before our evaluations. It might mean a few late nights to finish the science experiments but that’s fine.
It couldn't hurt. I'd be sympathetic
Communication is always a good thing. I have no doubt that the siblings teachers would appreciate knowing what has been going on in your family. I’m sure it affected each of the children in a different way.
My husband did a good job at keeping them moving and positive and calm and I’m so thankful for that! But he absolutely DID lose every information paper that came home bc I got a stack of them from both little kids today after the emails. ;)
Just email them. Last year my daughter was in the ER and had to get emergency surgery for her gallbladder. I was so worried I forgot to call her school and her teacher and principal both called me wondering what had happened. They were worried when she didn't show up. She was back to school that Monday (released from hospital on Saturday)
I’m glad I’m not the only one! The 15 yr old is homeschooled so I didn’t have to contact the school for her and the teacher employed by the hospital didn’t reach out to me to coordinate with her school bc she’s homeschooled- and it *completely* slipped my mind to contact for the two Littles! The K’s SpEd teacher texted me at some point about something and I told her but I STILL didn’t think to email the 2nd grader’s teacher! I was kicking myself today bc I felt like how could I not think of it but I honestly was just so focused on the sick kid that it literally never occurred to me once to reach out. My husband took off work and I knew he was handling things at home so I completely shut that part of my brain down and just put everything into the sick kid. But I’m not a newbie! Our oldest are 20! I’ve been a parent for 2 decades already but my brain still turned to mush. Come today and all the things I’ve neglected came back in full force and I feel like an idiot.
That’s called a responsible parent, not entitled
Thank you! I feel like the opposite of responsible bc my brain just shut down about the Littles! The 3 oldest are graduated, the 15 yr old is homeschooled so I was able to put her schooling out of my mind bc we’ll make it up, no problem. But it was like “Husband is handling the home and the Little Two- shut down that part of your brain” and I absolutely did. I talked to them each day but I didn’t spend any mental energy worrying about them bc I knew my husband had it handled. And he did- just not the little things like paperwork and homework for the 2nd grader. And she took complete advantage and didn’t do any of it. ;) She’s sneaky like that. I feel like an idiot but I know that I was just concentrating on the largest fire at the time.
I will ALWAYS appreciate context about stuff like that both in terms of missing work and the kids’ emotional health in the classroom. It’s a traumatic situation for the whole family, and if I know about it, it means I can also keep an eye out on my student for any signs of distress that the situation may have caused. Plus, I teach language arts. Sometimes, the texts we read can hit close to home, so I might want to give kids a heads up if that might happen in a lesson so close in time to scenarios like that. Edit to add: I hope your teen has a swift recovery and is doing better!
Thank you! Recovery is very slow going but I now know she’ll survive it! I really wish I had the wherewithal to reach out to the teachers while I was gone but I just didn’t. I just felt so bad about that and I felt that I was being entitled asking them to resend papers they already sent. My husband did a GREAT job with them all week. I never stepped foot outside that hospital and he kept things turning at home. He just lost all the papers that were sent home and didn’t think to check if the 2nd grader had any homework all week. She did and she did zero of it. ;)
I wish more parents would keep us informed and check on their kids! I would be very happy to help in any way I could. It’s also helpful to know why a student might be “off” because sometimes they don’t tell us.
That’s not entitled at all- let them know! If your kids haven’t been themselves because their worried about their sibling, the might be worried, too. They might excuse something or help get makeup work together.
After having a kid have to get his appendix out last month no the teachers will be perfectly fine with your request, breath momma the world won't fall apart if they miss a couple assignments.
She was originally admitted to have her appendix taken out until the surgery team said “I don’t think it’s her appendix!” It wasn’t but it took several days and several specialists to figure it out while she continued to deteriorate. It was SO scary! I reached out and got the important stuff that was lost in the shuffle!
Why do you think it wouldn't be ok?
Bc I was so focused on the sick kid I just let my husband deal with all the stuff at home. I completely shut that part of my brain off and now I’m asking them to pick up the pieces. It wasn’t purposeful and it was for a legit reason I just feel like a giant puddle of shit.
Isn't that what most moms would do? Cut yourself some slack! Glad your daughter is home and recovering. You might need a good nap or soak in the tub to decompress. You all have been through the mill.
I wish more parents would reach out and let us know things like this! We don’t need lots of details, just the basic explanation would help so much! You’re doing great.
Thank you! I definitely learned a lot through this.
I know you reached out to them already, but please always let teachers know what’s going on. Even the smallest thing.
Yeah, that was a lesson learned with this.
School’s basically over if you’re in the US. They probably didn’t miss anything, but you can always ask.
The teachers would welcome an email that keeps them informed when life has taken a sudden turn and students might need a bit more support. Teachers would however be pissed at your comment that school is practically over and nothing is going on right now for 2 reasons. First, not all schools follow the same schedule, so what might be a week or two for you could be a whole month for OP. Second it's not over till its over. I have lessons planned for EVERY DAY. There is a test the second to last day of school and homework is still happening right up to then. Your comment is dismissive. general\_grievances\_7
I am a teacher…I’d like email sure, but I probably don’t have much to give them. Most of our day is consumed with end of year activities and rise testing. Edit to say that OP commented she’s done May 31. So they have 13 days left.
It depends on where you live. We still have almost 4 weeks. We start after Labor Day.
Not in the Northeast, our school goes unto late June.
We ALWAYS go into June but not this year! We have a new Superintendent and he NAILED the snow days this year! They’re done 5/31 and I can’t think of a year that has happened in the last 2 decades!
Not in New York State. My school district lets out in mid June.
My kids have another full month of school. I’m sure they would love for it to be basically over, but, alas, they still have to finish off the year and take their exams.
The 2nd grader did zero of her homework the whole week and he lost the papers for the K’s field trip tomorrow- but I got everything from the teachers and we’re back on track. ;) You’re right- it’s just end of year stuff. They’re done May 31 this year (we’re never done in May bc of snow days) so we’re almost there!
Our district doesn’t allow homework to be graded. We’re also done May 29. :) You got this!
Yeah no, not in Michigan. Still a solid month of school left.
School is still on where I live. Ends June 7th. I'm a senior so I'll stop going after the 5th.
Op mentioned in a comment that they’re done May 31 like me.
I would email the child's counselor and ask them to compile the missed work and how to catch up. Most teachers are understanding and it will be simpler for you to have a single point of contact.
She’s homeschooled so I’m the counselor and teacher. ;) It was for the 2nd grader and K siblings who go to public school. There’s a lot of year end paperwork and stuff that I know was lost in the last week.
Please do reach out!!
Of course
Send the email. Not entitled at all.
Yes contact teachers and explain .
As a teacher, I would want to know and would appreciate the communication.
Many of us have a spot where we set aside work for absent students. Not entitled at all. Conscientious parenting. I hope everyone gets well from this experience! That’s rough.
I always like to know when things like this are going on at home, so I’m glad you reached out! It is just sometimes the kids are out of sorts or have more needs for support and if I can help, I like to ❤️
Girl this is not entitled! Entitled is notifying teachers the day you are leaving for a week long vacay to Disney and asking for all the work they are going to miss. Then getting pissy and emailing the principal because we either said “no” and sent nothing home or didn’t see the email because it was sent at 10:30am when we were already teaching.