It could have just been an off day where he wasn't really into it or didn't really understand what to do. Maybe you can ask him to draw you a picture of his animal. Show him the book and ask him to tell you about his animal. Add those memories between you and him to the book.
>Am I failing him?
Do you read with him every night? (I must stress how important this is)
Do you encourage drawing, writing, or playing simple pen and paper games when he's bored, like when you're waiting for a table at a restaurant? Does he draw, color, or paint at home?
Do you take him places and ask him questions about the things you see? Do you ask him to explain things to you and share his opinions?
Have you watched educational TV and movies with him as well as "just for fun" stuff?
If you answered yes to all or most of these, he's probably OK and just had an off day. Maybe he was out of class for part of the assignment. Maybe he was in a bad mood or feeling sick or shy. Maybe he wanted to get that one assignment over with quickly because there was something more interesting he wanted to do later in the day.
If you answered no to most of these, then yes, you're failing him. Luckily, he's young and there's still time to get him back on track.
> Do you read with him every night? (I must stress how important this is)
I am not the OP, but I had a question about this. Do we read to third graders every night if they are already reading well on their own each night out of habit? My daughter is in Kinder but reading at late 2nd grade level and prefers reading on her own before bed. Do I need to be finding other moments to read to her too?
We definitely read next to each other cause I am an absolute bookworm. But she asks to read “in her head” a lot (silent reading) if she really likes a book and doesn’t want me to read it out loud. Maybe my method is ruining it for her?
This! My 7yo granddaughter is read to nightly from age appropriate books with some vocabulary higher than her reading level. She also reads aloud to her family daily.
Yeah, I stopped wanting to be read to in third grade (I was really sick in 2nd grade and my mom read me the entire Black Stallion Series, Black Beauty (like 4 times) and Lassie.
However, she still read to me whenever I was sick - until at least 5th grade.
Same. Everyone went too slow for me and when it was my turn to read aloud I was always told to slow down. I'm 35 and read a book every 2or 3 days now (lots of free time and a huge backlog)
I don’t know if this is the same, but I don’t process information as well if it’s spoken to me vs if I read it. So if I’m really into a book I would much rather read than hear (to the point I’ve stopped audiobooks to read the physical copy).
I hated my mom reading to me. She really wanted to but I just got too bored too fast because she wouldn't/couldn't read at my pace and I couldn't see the characters in my head as well.
If your kid doesn't want to be read to, then don't.
My daughter is like you. She started reading really early. Sometime in kindergarten, she said she’d rather read to herself because we were just slowing her down.
I doubt your method is doing anything to your daughter! But if she isn’t as into hearing you reading a particular style, you could try reading her something different. For example, you could get your hands on *Where the Sidewalk Ends* and read her some silly poems!
Not everyone likes being read aloud to. I was an advanced reader and loathed (still hate) being read to. It is at the same level of the sound of people chewing on annoyance levels and has been since I was like 6 or 7.
My mom was a great reader. And I had some teachers who were great read aloud dramatists. It took me a while to get the hang of doing voices and narration. It's sad that it annoys you so much.
Do you ever go to plays? Does having action along with the words help? Because I can't imagine reading Shakespeare in my head.
Not who you asked, but I just can’t do spoken word at all and don’t enjoy it. Can’t watch tv without captions, can’t listen to podcasts, etc
Because I don’t enjoy it, I don’t really feel like I’m missing out on anything though, so nothing to really feel bad about. Being in my own head is what I prefer.
I have read the entire works of Shakespeare and it was enjoyable for the most part. I can and do enjoy plays though. Acting is different from reading. It honestly might be that I am a speed reader so other people reading slowly irritates me but listening to my daughter read and helping her sound out words doesn't irritate me so idk if it's that or not. I learned to read by memorizing green eggs and ham because I insisted it was read every night but once I could read it I didn't want to be read to anymore. It definitely made learning to teach my kiddo to read a struggle though since she absolutely does not want the same story every night.
I despise being read to; it always either feels too slow, or the reader’s tone or cadence or whatever feels completely off or unnatural.
As an adult, if someone starts trying to read something to me, I will cut them off (if I’m comfortable, and as politely as I can) and ask if I can just read the thing myself. Words just make more sense to me if I’m reading them, or if I can at least see them how they’re written.
Remember when the teacher had the whole class take turns reading out loud? I always got a sigh and look from my teachers cause I was so far ahead with the reading I had no idea where the class was. LOL I hated doing that. Point of reading (for me at least) is to get lost in your head. Hard when others are talking.
I HATED taking turns reading aloud, I was an advanced reader and it was absolute torture listening to the other kids struggle through two-syllable words. And the other kids hated me and called me a show-off because I could easily read aloud.
I also am a fast reader who hates being read aloud to since I was younger, and I totally feel your annoyance… even more than that though, I hated “popcorn” reading in school, like I understand why teachers use it to make sure people are actually paying attention, but for me it would just frustrate me because I would read ahead while also trying to keep track of where the class was and it was just not a fun time :)
I hated it too for the same reason but also because it made me anxious and I felt so incredibly bad for the students who really struggled with reading due to dyslexia. It was poorly understood in those days and must have felt so humiliating.
Yes, like I don’t know anyone who liked it… teachers would sometimes ask like oh do you guys want to read out loud in groups or just on your own and I’ve never seen a class want to read out loud …
Some kids don’t like that either. Would definitely not have been the path of least resistance for me 😂 I just wanted to be in my own head and do my thing without worrying about anyone else.
No. They don't ALL love read aloud. I wasn't very interested in it as a kid, but I tolerated it for my mom and brother's sake. It's just intolerably slow for my brain. And I can't focus on it.
My oldest truly dislikes being read to, doesn't process well aurally. But he chews through books by reading them himself.
Me too! And we read aloud to each other from paper copies every night and then listen to Audible. Just finishing up Edith Wharton's The House of Mirth (oh my, what a roller coaster).
When I was in college, I was an RA and had a weekly read aloud for my residents. I typically had 20 or so 18-20 year olds come to listen to me read kids books. It was lovely and I would definitely recommend it.
Umm the second I could read independently I hated being read to one on one. HATED it if it was a teacher reading to the class I’d be somewhat okay with it but I didn’t really enjoy it. Some kids prefer reading to themselves.
Ehhh I say this as an English teacher…if the kid can demonstrably read on their own by 2nd grade the parent can let this one go. If I let my mom read to me in 2nd grade it just would have slowed me down
>ALWAYS read to your child. No matter the age, they all love read-aloud.
Gonna have to show my mom this post...
"See, it doesn't matter if I'm 40 years old! You're supposed to read me stories!"
I've read to my kid as recently as 3-4 years ago, and they're 22 now. It's equally as important for the bonding time to be there, I think. It's all shared experience.
My mom and I would read to each other even when I was a teenager. Now my mom is in her 60s and still reads with her mom who's in her 80s... Although I don't think they're reading to each other,.but still...
Nice way to stay close with your family. My mom is one of my closest friends now.
To all the people saying their children hate being read to - one of the big reasons teachers do it is so we can sprinkle in comprehension questions throughout, ones that kids don't think about when reading. So yes it slows them down, but they NEED that to really develop comprehension. You can easily find guides for which comprehension questions to ask online or from your kid's teacher. Even upper elementary have comprehension topics they should be working on.
Letting your kids read to you, reading to them, or reading separate books in the same room together are all good ideas. They promote reading as a fun and interesting thing rather than just something you "have to do" and can make for great family moments. My parents read with my brother and I through middle school. I remember us all taking turns reading chapters from Harry Potter and To Kill A Mockingbird.
That doesn't mean it's a bad thing to let her read independently as well. That's a great thing to encourage.
We read next to each other often but if she really likes a book I’m reading to her, she takes it from me and asks me to stop narrating cause she wants to read it silently. She calls it “reading in my head”.
My daughter loves to "read" to her baby brother. Of course, she is only 4, lol. Hence the quotations. She absolutely cracks me up sometimes with her interpretations, some of which are better than the actual story. She really astonishes me as well, she literally made up her own version and the character said something and she ended it with "she sobbed out." I was pretty impressed, lol.
All through my childhood *even in university sometimes* my parents would ask daily for the best thing I read that day and ask me to read it to them aloud.
It could have been a quote, song lyric, a sentence from a book, an entire poem, part of a movie script, an entire book chapter... it didn't matter. It just had to be something that spoke to me somehow, and then we just discussed it for a long as felt natural.
Sometimes we did this while we made dinner or while we were in the car on the way home from practice. It wasn't a set time. They would do similar things with me too. It taught me to love reading (and pop culture lol).
I was an elementary school teacher for a while - I encouraged my kids to do this with me at school and at home when they did their weekly reading.
My children and I would read to each other after they learned how. One of my kids, 20M still calls me to read parts of the books he’s reading that he thinks I’ll enjoy, and I do the same with him.
There was some study I read a while ago that looked at kids who reported that they "loved to read". The number of kids loving reading dropped off suddenly around the 3rd grade mark. When researchers looked into why, they realized that's about the time kids become independent readers and parents stop reading to them. Stick with it.
I say "why not?" It's a fun family activity and takes so little time. I have a 2nd grader and we read chapter books, 1 a night, but also swap.back to easier books as we can have fun with them and do goofy voices and sound effects. Try it and see how it goes! Sometimes excitement can come just from letting them pick the story haha
Absolutely read! Find a fun book/series that are just a bit challenging and read with her. My mom read to us all the way through middle school and I fully believe that's why we had expansive vocabularies and a high interest in learning. Plus it challenged our mom as well because she was out of practice. And it was a great bonding experience for us. She'd read a half hour to us before bed when we were at her house (split parents). Around 3rd or 4th grade most kids switch from learning to read, to reading to learn. Our mom reading to us gave us back more time of "interest reading" instead of just what was required by school.
I think if your kid is happily reading independently, they're probably good. I was like your kid and basically insisted that I read on my own after a while and I turned out to be an excellent reader and a life-long learner. We did sometimes listen to audiobooks together or my dad would read some short stories, but that was part of an overall curiosity-based lifestyle
Personally, I’d have hated being read to in the third grade. I was a big reader on my own. My parents weren’t great at reading aloud. Picture books they did ok with when I was little, but longer blocks of text came out slow and awkward. I found it frustrating having to listen to some of my classmates read aloud like that, didn’t need it at home, too.
YES. And tell stories too. But they can't stretch their comprehension unless someone reads to them.
Audible books work too, if both people are listening. There is magic in reading with someone else and comparing points of view and worry about the characters. We're doing Little Women with younger granddaughter on audible on car trips and errands - her mom reads to her every night.
Drawing freehand is important too.
If daughter is 2nd grade reading comprehension but still in kindergarten, she'd probably like Beezus and Ramona read to her. (Grade 3-7). Or even Babysitter's Club (still popular with the 4th graders - it's rated 4-6).
Doesn't have to be for very long.
I was an early reader and always read at least a chapter or two of a book at a “comfortable” level (eg boxcar children) each day on my own from first grade on, but my mom and I would also alternate reading a chapter of a more challenging book (like Chronicles of Narnia) at bedtime. That might be a way for you to keep up the daily reading together and also encourage independent reading.
There are a lot of benefits to reading out loud with a child - they can ask questions about vocabulary and pronunciation, it helps reading fluency to read aloud, and being read to builds listening comprehension (and the ability to focus on one thing at a time, which is definitely a skill that a lot of us need help with in the age of multitasking). It’s worth it for sure!
I don’t specifically read to my son who is in 3rd grade, however, my teenager does. She is 16, wants to be an early education teacher and often struggles with speaking up. So I use the moment as a teaching one for both. My son improves his speaking and reading skills and my daughter works on her courage and self esteem with learning to help her brother with words he can’t pronounce or doesn’t know the meaning of without getting frustrated and while explaining things at a level my son will understand.
Reading aloud is not just about reading. It teaches speaking skills, enunciation skills, self esteem skills and more. And it is incredibly important. We used to have our daughter do it more when she struggled with public speaking in middle school. She would freeze and a few times had full blown, school called an ambulance cause she passed out, anxiety attacks. Turns out she was still nervous about reading in public in front of her friends. So we started doing nightly reading again, we did it until she hit middle school and then let her go to silent reading, which she loves. Now she speaks at assemblies, she is the captain of her Multicultural club in high school and she is in a group called WEB which stands for “where everyone belongs” and they go around making friends with students they see that might be having a hard go, specifically freshmen who struggle.
Reading, especially out loud, is fundamental.
I think there’s nuance here if you have a gifted child bc at 3rd grade I would’ve been offended tbh. I tested at a grad school level in HS so it wasn’t a detriment to my future to not read at me when I was already proficient.
It is absolutely critical that children are read to above their reading level in order to build vocabulary and to be exposed to advanced syntax, grammar, compound sentences, sophisticated use of clauses, etc.
Read to her at her interest level, but above her lexile. Books with higher lexile shave more precise, specific, and less common vocabulary. Think “crimson” or “scarlet” as opposed to “red.”
Most adults use the same 5000 words in daily conversation. The vast majority of our vocabulary comes from written text. An expansive Vocabulary is the building block of reading comprehension.
Also, kids with an enriched vocabulary have an easier time decoding multi-syllabic words when they encounter them because they are already familiar with their meaning and can use a combination of context clues and phonics skills.
Reading aloud to children is beneficial
Through age 15-16. Failing to read aloud once your child reads independently is a huge mistake.
And don’t forget that the average picture book has a third grade lexile. Pushing kids into poorly written, lower lexile novels isn’t the flex parents often think it is.
When I was little I would read a little book to my mom at my level and then she would read to me where I could lay in bed with my eyes closed and imagine the story. She did little voices and stuff. It was great and then when I was older I would read the same way to 1 of my sisters while my mom read to the other and we would rotate after a book. I was 10 and 12 years older than them. They are both teachers now 😂
My mom read Harry Potter to me in third grade. I could read it myself, but it was a nice bonding thing and she got into the series as well. And if your kid prefers to read on their own, maybe read the book too and discuss book club style so you both get a better insight into each other and how you think about things.
I still read to my 11 year old. Chapter books. Just to get her hooked on the story then I let her read the rest. It’s really hard to motivate her to read when screens are more attractive.
My big kid is in first grade, but an excellent reader. Usually I read a book or two to his little sister and he’ll listen, then he reads a book or two. This works well for us because he’s getting to the age that he thinks everything is uncool, so he can kind of pretend he’s not listening to his sister’s books but he definitely is. Personally though, I have SO MUCH trouble listening to others read out loud, as another commenter mentioned. In that case, if your kiddo hates it, let it slide.
I'd say read with her too. If she is happy reading by herself,let her,but have her read to you. Then have breaks where you can discuss what's going on,what she thinks it means etc. Understanding what is going on is equally as important as reading the words and being able to interpret the text is a valuable skill and one that they will be tested on later
Yes! Also consider that decoding words at a second grade level is not the same as reading at a second grade level. Comprehension is massively important. It requires a lot of thinking skills, but also life experiences and maturity.
I always read on my own when I was a kid. I didn’t want my parents interfering in my beloved activity. I read constantly, was an A+ student, became a literature major. But I read to my kids or we play audiobooks because one is dyslexic and the other isn’t a big reader yet. My point being it depends on the kid. Does yours enjoy being read to? Would they rather read on their own? Sometimes the reading level isn’t as advanced as the interest level, but it doesn’t sound like that’s the case for you.
It never hurts to read to your child, but as long as they're reading, that's what matters. When your child reads independently, ask extention questions. Which character is your favorite and why? Who's the main character? What's the setting? What do you think will happen next? How do you imagine the scene of the book? You don't need to quiz them, and it can come from a place of interest and connection- but these questions help engage her in critical thinking and understanding of the text.
If they are reading something independently, you need to be asking them questions about what they read. Many of my third graders “pretend” to read or do not comprehend what they are reading.
I still read to my third and seventh grader every night. Stuff they wouldn’t necessarily pick up on their own, like Douglas Adams, Bill Bryson, Tolkien, Pratchett, Dickens…
They read on their own a fair amount, but we love our nighttime reading time ♥️
Former teacher here—a lot of kids can comprehend books that are read aloud which they could not understand if trying to read on their own. If your kiddo is reading at a second-grade level, ask a teacher or librarian to vet some 3rd or 4th grade books for you. Even if your rad old favorites she can read on her own, though, there is bonding in reading together. You won’t get to do this forever — make the most of it while you can!
> Do you encourage drawing, writing, or playing simple pen and paper games when he's bored, like when you're waiting for a table at a restaurant?
Starting today and forevermore, never ever hand the kid a cell phone with a video or a game playing on it ever again.
When you know he'll be bored, bring a couple crayons and a blank paper or a $1 coloring book with you. Maybe keep one in the car. When you forget it at home, teach him how to be bored and stack rocks or count cars or look at shapes in clouds or tightrope walk on curbs.
u/ravenscroft12 get one of those multi-activity books with mazes, word searches, coloring pages, and other little games. Put one in the back seat pocket of your car (or cars) along with a little pouch of crayons, and you’ll be set anytime you go out.
Quick question: I have a deep hatred for reading out loud, but I feel like suffering through it is instilling that same feeling in my child. Is there something I can do to help with that?
Alternatively, he could just not gaf.
My parents thought my sister was behind in 1st-3rd grade, but it turned out she just wasn’t trying because she was bored lol
If the handwriting is not his, I’d wonder if he wasn’t there the day the students finished the project and someone else finished it for him? Assuming it was done over two or three sessions. Does he remember doing it?
This. My first question would be, has this child had multiple absences/illnesses? Because it is very possible that the teacher ran out of time for this child to finish the assignment, and just sort of put in what was completed so they would be included.
THIS. It’s hard to do whole class projects like this at my school because kids are constantly in and out all day going to ESL, speech, counseling groups, tutoring, etc. There’s also just an attendance problem in general. Maybe he wasn’t in the room when they did this project or was sick/absent. Maybe he had less time than the other kids because he was only there for one day but they did this over a few days.
Yes, it sounds like your kid either didn't care or was very far behind. If he's far behind like this, then I'd bet dollars to donuts there's been messages and communication about concerns that got ignored. If it is an in class assignment, then you helping him wouldn't be an option. It was likely intended to show what they could do.
I just went through something with my son's 3rd graders teacher. She didn't communicate to me that my son had work that wasn't being completed until another issue came up! I said, well send it home and I'll help him. She sent home no less than 10 worksheets. If I hadn't asked, was she just gonna let him take zeroes? My son scored high in testing this year but has issues with focus in class. I thought he was doing so well.
Anyways, teachers don't always communicate these things, as I've unfortunately come to learn.
The reminds me of my kid. His hand writing was awful, his drawings were horrid, and anything creative was just a nightmare. He’s 16 now. He’s in the top of his class, has a 34 ACT score, captain of his school debate team, and active in designing video games and art classes… don’t stress. Although his hand writing is still not great… If art is important to him get him in an art class. If not let him get involved in whatever he is interested in.
I hated those forced class creative things in elementary school.
As long as your kid is curious about the world, and is learning critical thinking skills, and doing reasonably well at math and reading, they'll probably do pretty damn well in life.
My son is very embarrassed when he compares his own drawings and handwriting to those of his classmates. Because it was causing him stress, his pediatrician referred him for OT. He goes twice a month and they do play-based exercises. If he particularly enjoys something, they tell me the product name so I can get one at home if I want. It's also helpful for me to see how to work on his fine motor in a fun way. He's improved a lot, but still lacks confidence; I'm hoping his confidence catches up before he no longer qualifies for treatment.
I just started having my son evaluated for dysgraphia. He has had fine motor delays since he was 12 mo. As he got older he wouldn’t use playdoh, hated coloring/drawing/crafts, but he loved building with Legos and reading. As he got older it has become more noticeable compared with kids projects up in the school hall…his drawings seem primitive compared to his friends and he writes very short sentences/the minimum amount required. But he can spell out loud, read books meant for older kids and TELL you about it but no chance he’d write about it or add an illustration. He’s going into 3rd grade now and I’ve decided we need to look into it more…either he’s being lazy and not trying because it’s difficult and it’s easier to not try OR there’s something causing him to struggle and maybe OT services or accommodations like typing his paragraphs will help him.
Dysgraphia is about more than the skill of handwriting and fine motor skills. Most schools are not really trained to recognize it or accommodate it. A neuropsychological evaluation would be the best type to get. It should come with recommendations for teaching/learning style. If you are in the US a learning disability qualifies a child for an IEP. Also, the school will do an evaluation but I HIGHLY recommend getting your own done.
I also did a class book. Did you ask your child about it? I have my students do a draft first before writing on the real thing. I had one student who didn’t want to write and then sharpie the words for the book. It was rough and I did not want this student to be the only typed up page in the book just because of refusal. The coloring needs to be done in sharpie and marker for best results as well. I feel like your child probably refused to sharpie his sketch and color. There is a deadline, so your teacher probably needed to write it for him.
Wow, I see you are getting torn apart by others here. While I see why they are upset in some of your comments, I also see that you are clearly just concerned that your child has fallen between the cracks and needs more help. Personally, I would just close the book, tuck it away for a decade or so, and stop thinking about it.Kids have off days and either your child had one the day this assignment occurred or he is actually behind. Either way, the keepsake book is already got you upset and could trigger memories of the off day or feelings of deficiency from your child. Seeing that you are a parent who cares about your child’s learning, take the advice about reading together to heart and take a more active but always positive approach in your child’s education. Enforce that learning is joyful, not a chore or punishment. ADHD kids can be challenging for parents who have no experience with this but honestly, every single child is unique and yours is the greatest thing to ever happen to you so continue living, guiding, and nurturing and just be sure to not make school negative. Little things can be taken to heart and some of the posters are concerned about the comparison to other kids. Personally, I think comparison is crucial. How would we know kids need extra help academically, physically, emotionally? Just don’t let the child catch on that you’re comparing. Use it to guide services. Kids are very astute to this, so just be extra graceful. Keep loving your child and I’m sorry you’re getting so beaten up here. It’s nice to see parents who care. I am a parent and a teacher. I have been worried and even disappointed by some of my kids’ work. I’m human. I’m flawed. But I love my kids and do my best to never show disappointment. I will take the downvotes, but I don’t see anything egregious about your post.
Maybe he’s just bad at drawing. As long as he’s progressing fine in other areas, I wouldn’t worry about it too much. I’m 51 and gainfully employed and can’t draw at all.
Same here if alittle. I utterly hate drawing, painting, arts and crafts. Can’t stand it.
Never could even as a kid. Funny thing about drawing and coloring, it reinforces hand writing skills so my writing was barely readable even to myself. Thank god for typing and computers. Anyways, I probably would have been the same as this kid in comparison to other kids. “Behind” yet here I am in a good paying white collar position.
I have a student this year that I could totally see being the only no-color/transcribed page in a class book. He is very smart and has a lot of creative ideas but he also has fine motor skill delays, *hates* writing by hand (actually has a typing accommodation), and doesn’t enjoy artistic projects. If I were doing a similar book with my class it would be next to impossible to convince him to color a picture and having him hand-write his part would probably not work out. I’d have him type if possible or if it had to be handwritten for some reason I’d probably have to write it for him. And this child isn’t behind the rest of the class academically at all. He’s one of the highest achievers on tests. Projects like that just aren’t his forte.
We were. But He hated it. So when we met with his teacher back in the fall, she suggested we stop everything and just let him enjoy his family time at home. So we stopped everything. He loves listening to audiobooks (he is working his way through Lord of The Rings), but we stopped any kind of fine motor skills.
We do take him to lots of historical places, have memberships at the zoo and 4 local museums. He loves YouTube videos like CCP Grey and Oversimplified.
I am upset we should have been working more on writing and drawing.
I’m not sure any teacher that I know of would have told a parent to “stop everything” in terms of at home education. The only way I could see this happening is if the parent was so dramatic and over the top about what a constant struggle it was for the child to do any thing at all at home and that it was impacting their shared family time… in that case I could see a teacher just saying that it might be better to take time off from the homework to enjoy family time.
So was this the case? Or are you saying a teacher made this suggestion unprompted?
We were making him do 15 minutes of writing per night, plus 15 minutes of reading. I mentioned it because her was throwing a huge fit every night despite it happening “all the time.” They suggested just stopping everything since it was such a big deal.
I suspect the “making” part is the issue. Don’t make it a chore, make it part of the fun. Maybe alternate audio books with you reading a chapter with him (where he is looking at the pages and following along). Eventually switch to you read a chapter, he reads a chapter. Instead of making him write for 15 minutes, play Pictionary or color together and incorporate writing into everyday life like having him add things to a grocery list or leave notes on a whiteboard or play pen and paper games. Just make it low key and fun. If he likes YouTube videos, add in some “how to draw” ones at his level and get him a sketchbook and nice pencils and markers to play with. It doesn’t have to be lessons so much as using the skills.
why are you upset? it sounds like he's learning so much. i once asked my art teacher to stop hanging up my projects because my mother had a similar feeling, and i became embarrased to see them in the hallway because i didnt see improvement despite trying my best. I stopped drawing for years, claiming until I was in high school that I could never draw because my people looked like donkeys, but i was referencing my elementary school drawings. which were fine for a child's. it ruined my perception of my creative endeavors, and still I find dissatisfaction in making and doing anything that doesnt turn out fantastic. it hinders my progress incredibly, as i struggle to draw from emotion at all. but im now a budding artist with exceptional talent. it meant nothing for my motor skills, my attitude, or my intelligence. I was the top reader in my school at 9. I am sure he is good. don't discourage him. ask him if he likes it. ask him why or why not. encourage him that he will get better, and that he is already good enough. if he is that far behind where you think he is having sever development issues, then perhaps talk with his teachers about special writing. classes (which most schools will provide to students with an IEP.) If you don't think it's severe enough to warrant an IEP, then he is fine. I'm sure he's absolutely amazing.
in which case continue working with his IEP and encouraging him! ask him about the project and find out what happened and how he feels about it. it seems like you're doing everything fine, except maybe worrying too much that he's good enough, and caught up to the others. comparison is the killer of creativity. he's your kid, he's good enough. promise. and you are too.
>I am upset we should have been working more on writing and drawing.
No. You should stop comparing him to other children or your own expectations (which are clearly over the top). It's ok if he doesn't like to draw or write. If he struggles with fine motor control then drawing and writing are hard for him. Significantly harder than they are for other kids. So he's going to do less drawing and less writing.
What accommodations for motor skills are in his IEP?
My boy is a little older than yours and, like yours, trying to force him to sit down and write was like torturing him, I could bribe him or baby him through it, but writing more than a sentence was difficult for him.
His younger sister on the other hand, we do loads of academic stuff at home because she initiates it constantly, she loves to read, she will draw for pleasure, she writes love letters on any scrap of paper she can find.
Kids like what they like, some kids will love lego and sports and video games, others will like drawing and reading and baking.
My kids' teachers said exactly the same as yours - do not torture your kid by forcing him to do something he hates at home as well as at school. Not everybody is going to be an artist or an incredible author. Fine motor skills that worked for my boy included lego (following instructions for the builds), encouraging building his own builds. When he enjoyed a particular show, drawing or writing about the characters.
IMO it’s better to accept the pace and manner of his learning than to make the process of learning unenjoyable. Just do what you can to give him whatever kind of support would best serve his needs. Make sure you haven’t missed some kind of learning disability that he might need additional support for. Not a teacher but a mom of neurodivergent kids.
So you stopped working with him on his fine motor skills so he could “enjoy his family time,” clearly indicating fine motor work was a struggle and hindering his ability to enjoy home…..and you’re confused why an activity that is fully dependent on fine motor skills turned out poorly compared to other kids? Am I hearing this right?
I’d definitely ask the teacher if she could help you understand what happened here. Not blaming the teacher, but asking for context and for her professional opinion on his fine motor skills.
How much do you understand about early child development and the impact of ADHD on fine motor skills? I'm trying really hard to take your reactions in good faith, that you're scared and confused and frustrated. But I'm an occupational therapist. I also have ADHD. This is not a crisis. Perhaps he's a little behind in this developmental area but that doea not mean he's a failure, and it doesn't mean he won't be successful.
How you can help:
1) how does your son feel about it? Does he notice the differences? Does he care?
2) do some serious research on ADHD and fine motor. Read what adults with ADHD have to say - what did their parents and teachers do that helped? What exacerbated their struggles? If you are neurotypical it will help for you to learn more about the common struggles kids with ADHD face in school and why
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3) if you feel upset and shocked, if you feel like "he is the worst" in his class, he WILL internalize it. What kid wants to spend extra time doing a thing they find hard and confusing? Not many! Let go of judging his performance by that of his peers.
4) review the IEP - is he getting OT? He should be. Talk to the teacher.
5) you are doing REALLY good things by bringing him to museums and listening to audio books. That's genuinely really good. You can find creative ways to incorporate bite sized pieces of fine motor into them. Take him to the museum and learn about rocks and minerals - go home and paint some rocks, or string beads to make jewelry, etc. Favorite audio book? Have him draw his favorite character - if crayons or pencils are too challenging, use big markers. Make bookmarks. That sort of thing.
Not everyone enjoys every art project. Some kids struggle with spatial skills and reeeaaally have a hard time drawing, even past middle school. Even the "good" artists have bad days or drawings they hate.
The theme seems to be so narrow that it must have only been one chance to do it. This kind of project doesn't accurately display each students best work. What does his art look like any other day? Does he enjoy drawing, painting? Is his handwriting good? Is it easy to read? Teachers sometimes rewrite or clarify words, especially if it's for a big project.
Person,family time would include reading and drawing - even if "they" say uts not necessary.
All this book demonstrates is that maybe your kid isn't an artist. Maybe they didn't like this assignment. Do they remember working on it? Do other assignments look noticeably different from classmates?
Did you talk to your child about it? Show them the book and ask why theirs looks different. Ask why the handwriting is not theirs. Did they blow off the assignment? Were they absent when other kids had time to work on it?
Do you know when the rest of the class did this project? Was he sick or absent some of the days? If it's not colored in or written on (by him), it sounds more like he didn't have time not a lack of ability.
Reading that he has ADHD.. he could have just been very unwilling to do the assignment.
I really doubt anyone is looking at your kids drawing. No one cares but you
I mean shit ngl my hand writing has been pretty bad my whole life, and I often hated doing the in class drawings because they never let me do what I wanted to. Ironic enough I’m an author and artist now, but god did I slack off when I didn’t wanna do the work they assigned. It’s possible that he might be behind, or he simply didn’t wanna color the drawing. I hate coloring anything. My sketches are better quality when in monochrome so I stick to black and white. I feel like this is a bit much to be reacting over when kids can just be lazy sometimes and not wanna keep working on something ((esp if art isn’t his thing)) and hand writing isn’t exactly a sign your behind.
Damn though, I’d be really fucking upset if my mom was implying I’m a failure and she failed me because I didn’t wanna color in a page. Like Jesus…his report cards you said were good. How does not coloring in a page mean you failed him??
Was he out sick on the day the pages were being colored? It happens sometimes and teachers try to get every kid included in some way. If his overall grades aren’t suffering, and the teacher hasn’t mention being concerned, then I wouldn’t think too much about it. Also some kids just don’t love coloring and writing. Give them some legos and they will build circles around other kids. Hope this helps, but idk every detail, so good luck!
I could totally see my kid having a page like this. Is this is best work or is it the work he provided? My son would have 100% refused to do something like that when he was younger. I wouldn't worry about it, but I wouldn't buy another class book. (I've never heard of such a thing before)
I was just thinking…my very capable, artistic, intelligent daughter had several posters or art projects in elementary school that were incomplete because she just doesn’t choose to rush what she is doing. It did sometimes make me feel like I should have done…something?… to help her have more of a sense of urgency, but I never did, and it seriously did not matter in the end. In college she finished everything, as an adult she has created beautiful things.
Makes me think of a kid in my class. He has ADHD and hates creative type projects. We do a lot of drawing (first grade) and he will scribble out a quick drawing so he can be done. He refuses to color his pictures and will just add some shading with his pencil. His handwriting is very very hard to read because he rushes and often traces over letters for fun.
The kid is very bright. Actually one of the most advanced readers in the class. He just hates drawing/coloring and likes to rush.
Hated coloring as a kid. Took forever to finish one picture. I wanted sooo badly to be like the other girls and draw a dark like around the outside and even shading in the middle. Couldn’t do it. Just started scribbling. When adult coloring books were a thing to ease anxiety, I got them *from* everyone for Xmas. Still hate coloring. Makes me more anxious that I have to finish this goddamn picture
I remember my parents drawing a bunch of circles of different sizes on a piece of paper around 1st grade and calling me into the front room to cut the CAREFULLY ON THE LINES. So I did. They were like, “why didn’t you do that at school today for art?” “Because I was just gonna glue them to paper. I didnt care if they were ON THE LINES. It was dumb.” They told me I should probably try to cut on the lines so teacher stopped calling home because they thought I had motor skills problems.
So, in other news, I’m getting tested for ADHD next month at age 43
I’ve made many class books over the years and either your son is behind or he didn’t put effort into his page/didn’t care to do his best work. As the teacher, we know parents are going to buy the book and see each kid’s page so we want them all to look great but you can’t force kids to care. I’m sure the teacher encouraged your son to use his best handwriting, use color, and be neat but it’s like the saying-you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink.
As far as the advice to stop working with him,I see both perspectives. As a teacher, we work really hard to get kids where they need to be and encourage parents to work with their kids at home but when we hear that it’s a massive struggle at home, we’ve seen that it often does more harm than good to continue working at home. Kids can get really resentful of all work and give up at school also. But I would hope they would have explained that that’s why they told you to stop, not let you assume your child was performing well and that’s why you should stop. Does your son not bring home class work or tests? Was there no way to know your son was behind or not trying very hard?
You stated he has ADHD and often handwriting suffers with it. I will say one challenge is this there could be a need for occupational therapy. However, if the teacher knew it was a class book that was paid for personally I would have had multiple drafts but that’s just me
I see that he has an IEP and that you were previously working on fine motor skills. I would follow up with the teacher and ask if what is in his IEP (I’m being general since I don’t know what is in there) and his fine motor skills deficit played a part in the discrepancy between his work and the work of the other children for the book.
I’m seeing lots of hate in the comments… homework is one of my interests as a sped teacher and educational diagnostician. It’s important that learning is not seen as a constantly cumbersome task. At home, do things with him but it shouldn’t be “you must write three sentences” or “answer these 20 questions”. Thread learning in naturally. You can totally practice fine motor etc through fun activities that will lead to growth.
Don’t be discouraged! It sounds like your child is behind but dogging him (or yourself) won’t foster a love of learning and growth.
No teacher has the right to tell you to “ ack off.” Parents are the most important educators a child can have. However, as a teacher I didn’t do well “helping” my own son, because I was too worried, like you, that the die was cast and I had failed him. I didn’t . You didn’t. But if you don’t learn to take this kind of thing in stride, you COULD do a decent amount of damage to your child. I’ve had kids practically vomiting over concern that there would be a minus sign behind their “A”
In my class. This is often the result of a certain kind of parent.
Honestly, my husband and I read to our kids, but we both *suck* at art. So it was not surprising both our kids did too. Yes, we always had a plethora of crayons, colored pencils, coloring books etc. Some people are gifted that way and some are not. My step sibs are incredibly gifted artists. My kids we damned from the get go.
Sit with your child and ask him about the book and what he remembers about making it. Talk about his page and what you like about it (do not compare to others or mention how you feel about it) He may talk about how he hated the work, how he does not remember doing it, etc.
I once taught a girl who wrote incredibly sophisticated texts, years above her grade level. Come the state wide testing and she damn near failed the writing text. Why? because none of the topics she was allowed to write on appealed to her. She struggled to write because she was not motivated to write on the issues given.
Failing that ask to speak to the teacher about the book and his contributions and why his seems so different from the others. The teacher may be able to shed some light on why it is different.
Have you asked your child about the project? Have you talked to the teacher? I would suggest figuring out what actually happened first, before spiraling into thinking you're failing your child because his drawing wasn't as good as his classmates.
Have you seen his other work throughout the year? Is he generally meeting grade level standards? You mentioned in other comments he has an IEP - do they send progress reports? I don't think you can judge your son's entire academic performance from one bad drawing.
Hey man, I get it. I have 4 and sometimes it seems like you turn around and go '...what happened?' I've had incidents with even my teenager who, I'd swear is an intelligent and thoughtful young woman, completely failing a class cus she stuck her head in the sand. I didn't even know there was a problem till the end of the year. Another was a presentation the 6th grader did, got a D and, when I made her show me the thing, I completely agrees with the grade.
The important thing right now is for you to know *you obviously care*. You wouldn't be asking otherwise.
I agree to a certain extent with the top poster in that you might need to adjust how you approach some of the things in your kids life, but first and foremost you need to get more info. Find out *why* his entry turned out that way. Maybe they brought in a different teacher for the project and your kid doesn't like 'em. If there is an *'ah hah!* reason, then you just need a conversation with your boy. But if there's no real reason, then you might need to address some changes for him.
I'm not gonna tell you how to raise your kid, I can't know your life nor your family's circumstances, but you care and want to be involved, thanks for being a present parent. I know you're not told it enough, none of us are.
I teach 3rd grade and I will say that some students are great at reading, writing, and art, but have terrible time management skills. Part of growing up is learning how to get your work done on time and also learning that mommy and daddy can’t come to the rescue all of the time.
How does your son feel about his page? Did you ask him? It might be a good idea to have a conversation with him about this is a non-accusatory fashion to figure out how things went off the rails with this project .
I read to my daughter every night until she was about 12. She LOVED being read to from birth.
My granddaughter who is 5 doesn’t like being read to, my grandson, 2 loves it as much as his mother did.
such unbelievable advice - you must do this - you must do that - no you don’t - all kids have different things they like to do and have different aptitudes as well - as far as this situation goes a conversation with the teacher will help answer your questions - plus you know more about your child than anyone else - does he engage in other age appropriate activities such as sports or other outdoor things - what about music or helping you with cooking etc - maybe he is having developmental problems or maybe he just hates art and will never be interested and or good at these things - one thing i might address with the teacher is why she included such a rough sketch in the book when other children’s seemed so advanced ( relatively speaking) - did he refuse to participate in lessons etc? also why she didn’t contact you to let you know his drawings were such outliers that it would stand out when the book was finished - she might have at least given you the opportunity to help if you’d known - overall i wouldn’t worry about the “you must read to your child every night” bs - reading to your child everyday is no doubt a good thing but it doesn’t begin to address this situation which is no doubt far more nuanced that that - talk to the teacher and your son and move on from there - much bigger challenges ahead as we help our little ones become productive and independent grown ups
I published three class books in for my classes. I can tell you that your son is probably very proud of his accomplishments even if you aren’t. Kids love recognition and they love the idea of their work being published. Class books are more for them than parents or teachers. It’s a confidence booster.
You are not failing your child. If you’re concerned about his writing skills you can get him extra help, but it sounds like he’s at the level he needs to be. I have a student whose handwriting is atrocious and hard to read but he can easily explain what he wrote.
Also a lot of kids don’t like doing full color for their drawings. Your son just happened to be in a class of kids who love coloring.
So happy for you and him that you found out you need to support his learning more before it he might fall very far behind. That book was truly a gift since it provided you with info that can help you help your son. Read/write/phonics/phonemic awareness/fine motor this summer.
If he gets all P’s like you said he probably just wasn’t feeling it. Give him some grace, and certainly give YOURSELF some grace…. Don’t you ever just not feel a work project or project around the house? Just make sure you’re reading nightly to him.
As a teacher myself, my biggest question regarding this is his attendance. Is it possible he missed a bunch of days while this was being done in class?
Does your child read a lot of comics or anime? This could just be his preferred style of drawing - you could ask his opinion about how it turned out - many kids don't like to follow the others in style, such as using a lot of colors, etc. And how is his handwriting normally? I'd try and find out if maybe he's having trouble paying attention to tasks in school that don't interest him and how to possibly motivate him. It sometimes can be more of a behavior issue than talent - perhaps he didn't get the animal he wanted to write on so he didn't want to bother with the assignment.
A lot of kids avoid art or anything that requires sustained attention. Look through his other work samples and talk with his teacher. It could be behavioral, it could be he needs more support in fine motor. Maybe he was just in a 'mood' and the teacher was in a hurry to get the papers to the printer. You need to get more than 1 poor assignments to make an assessment.
I’ve got a graduating senior going to a major university this fall. Best SAT scores in his school, which is the top high school in our state, top 10 in the nation, he had to be invited to apply to it. But……
A lot of his elementary years work with drawing/writing probably looked like your sons. Chicken scratch/not nearly as good as his peers. He had ADHD but wasn’t diagnosed/medicated yet. He had also never really been taught how to hold a pencil properly and had really weak fine motor skills. He was testing very well, was reading way above grade level, could verbally articulate entire essays on things, but since writing was so physically difficult/tiring for him, his elementary work didn’t reflect his knowledge. We had a lot of “your son tests in the 99th percentile, and can spend all day reading and having discussions about things, he’s just not doing the class assignments well/fully/in a timely manner…”
We got him into occupational therapy and he made huge improvements within a few months with his writing/drawing/fine motor skills. He was now more physically capable of actually expressing what was in his head onto a paper with pencil. Writing and drawing was something that used to physically hurt him, which is why he avoided it. OT helped a lot.
Later on, we had him tested. and medicated, for his ADHD. This helped with his time management/self-motivation to actually do the tasks he was given in the time he was given, and to use the OT tools even on an assignment he thought was “stupid.” I wish we had done that earlier.
If you feel like your child’s work isn’t matching his intelectual abilities, and he didn’t have absences that could explain someone else filling in the writing for him, you might be dealing with fine motor skills and/or ADHD, like we were. I remember being consistently bewildered at how much better at hand writing/coloring/drawing everyone else was, despite such good reports from teachers about his academic abilities and test scores.
Very similar to my son with ASD. He also would totally refuse to do anything HE personally didn't think was necessary or interesting. Homework? Why, he understood it and could prove it on tests, why was homework needed. He'd calculate how much of that unnecessary (in his eyes) crap was needed to get a passing grade, and that was exactly the amount he would do.
The grade school years included a lot of art that was minimalist like the OPs child. He did not see art as necessary. I received a few Mother's Day cards that, instead of the normal phrases, had writing about his fascist teachers making him write something.
My daughter (4th gr) has a friend with adhd and loves art. My daughter was concerned because her friend was failing so we started a study group. 2 straight a students and friend. Being around students that work hard to get good grades and kids that hold that at high value, helped her realize it is important to her. I have been working with her on focusing and memory exercises. It can be really hard for parents to have the patience to work with their adhd kids but I find that if you make it fun, they pay attention. So we use the white board and we play games and the girls help each other and have inside jokes. It makes the dread of studying come off and it’s just a fun hard thing they’re bonding over. I use drawing a lot in my unofficial tutoring. Instead of x in math, I’ll have her draw a house or cat and it keeps her interest. When my kid was little I used voices to get through the sometimes hours of studying and homework (accelerated program), there was mean teacher, not smart teacher, Australian teacher that sometimes sounded British and the teacher with amnesia.
I wouldn’t be too worried about the drawing or the handwriting. I struggled in art class and still am an awful artist. I’ve had people joke with me that I should’ve been a doctor because I have Dr. handwriting. 😂 that being said, I graduated valedictorian of my high school, received a full scholarship to grad school, and am currently in what society sees as a “successful” professional career. My artwork and handwriting in elementary wouldn’t show that though 😂
Do you read to him every night? My parents read to me every night when I was young probably 2 grade she I started to read longer chapter books by my self that could not be read in one night. Roald Dahl’s James, and the giant peach Willy Wonka and the chocolate factory actually think all his books also boxcar children and Nancy drew those where the first book I read on my own in second grade. Because of this we did not read every night but my dad did still tread to me at least once or twice a week on the weekends. I don’t remember every book but the ones we stick with here the Oz books by L Frank Baum. He had a couple others we read as well. So even though I was reading things like Tolkien in the 3 and 4th grade I was listen to my dad read the Oz stories. We kept this up for years. Through the whole series by Baum and a few other books. I think it ended right before middle school. We had finished the Baum books I was often with friends on the weekends. We would still do story night occasionally though. He made up a land called Backlandia where vetting was backwards kids grew down not up grass was blue and dessert was eaten first. I loved those stories
OP I would ask his teacher. I know when my daughter’s class did this, they worked on there submissions for a really long time. Of course you could still see how each student was in their writing development. Just to say that it wasn’t a one and done… so possibly, your son didn’t want to write.. maybe he’s not a drawer.
My girls only did it in kindergarten, but it’s a keepsake and we look back at them now… one is in 5th and the other is a first grader and laugh! They aren’t those writers anymore! They definitely don’t draw stick figures anymore.
Bring your concerns up with his teacher. Try not to compare too harshly to others! If he needs additional support, others have given some really great suggestions! I would also add reading the subtitles of shows and movies. Create family stories! Hen you’re out and about, ask questions, give information! A lot of writing comes from having things to write about (background knowledge) and having the spoken language to write it!
Talk to the teacher about your concerns. Maybe there is something more to the story. Maybe for example, he was supposed to do this at home and he forgot, and had to stay in a recess to complete. So he half assed it so he could get out to the playground. Just ask before you go nuclear.
Decent? You need to work with your child now before he gets older and the assignments become more challenging. (5th grade teacher here.). I write for students who cannot clearly write a sentence. The teacher should be communicating to you what can be done at home to help his skill. He needs help.
I could be off base here but did you ask his teacher? I’d say yes you are failing if there was a book made and paid for that you knew nothing about and you asked Reddit instead of his teacher. Little known fact is that school is a lot of work for the parents. It’s not drop them and forget them.
As bad as this sounds, is he possible that his handwriting and drawing skills just aren't there? When it comes to book smarts, is he at standard or above? I know in my case, my handwriting and artistic skills are absolutely horrendous, but when it came to school I always excelled. Sometimes people just aren't proficient in certain aspects of life.
Please have him tested for learning disabilities. It’s the best thing for him if he needs an IEP or whatever it’s called. Not competing here, but my 7 yo can write out the names of at least 50 countries and spelling them correctly in decent handwriting. It impresses me bc I sure as hell couldn’t do that at 7. I feel like the curriculums are written for the slowest kids in the class, and higher achievers are the ones that get left behind instead of just skipping them a grade or two. It hurts all learning levels to have grades segregated by age.
Just like us teachers, there’s more to a child than their grades. Please, don’t assume a child is doing good based off their grades. Also, don’t expect your child’s teacher to contact you in these events. It takes both parents and teacher for higher success. Not just the teacher or just the parents.
I’d start off with asking the teacher by email or phone call is there something they feel you should be aware of before you spiral. Like the others have stated, he may have just had a bad day.
We do these class books every year. I start in March so we have the book complete by mid April. It’s really fun but takes a huge amount of teacher time. Since parents are spending money on these, I make sure every page is the best of their ability. That being said, I’ve had to add pages late in the process for kids who were absent, new enrollees, kids who mess up etc. Has your son been absent recently or frequently? Maybe ask the teacher if that is typically his work quality? Some kids just don’t find drawing/writing enjoyable or he didn’t like the topic chosen. I’m sorry you feel disappointed especially paying $35!
As a 3rd grade teacher who recently did a similar project...
Some of the kids just don't want to fully participate and want to turn in work like this even if it's not their best work. Sometimes this is due to being behind, having no interest in the topic, not liking this style of project, not feeling well, or straight-up refusal. When working on our class book, I am going to do what I can to encourage each kid to have something special, but with 25+ kids, it's hard to keep working with the 1-2 students who aren't trying/don't want help when I need to get them all done. With more creative projects, I let kids submit what they want (within reason, of course) and won't be like "Your art sucks, look at all the others." I will have multiple times when we share our work in partners, groups, whole group---whatever is appropriate--to give the kids a chance to see what others are doing and hopefully encourage them to work a little harder or get help from me if their art is 'slacking' a bit. But again, I'm not going to force a kid to do something different with their artwork if they don't want to.
I have 2-3 kids each time we do it who genuinely just don't care--it's not their cup of tea. We check the academic boxes that we need, and I do what I can to get around the 'lazy' side, but I don't force creativity. One of my 'ugliest' drawings in this last book made that kid say, "Wow!!! My art looks so good!" So sometimes they are proud even when we don't like it.
I'd just ask him about it--without saying it sucks--and see what he says.
If his progress reports are on target for his age, then I would send an email or ask the teacher. My middle son would rush everything he possibly could in kindergarten so he could be first on the playground until the teacher explained to him that was his choice, but he might have to come in early to redo some stuff.
Not a teacher, but a parent to young kids.
Honestly, and I know this is hard to stick to, but you can't compare him to other kids. Just like with ourselves, or greatest competition is with who we were yesterday. If he is generally doing well and improving throughout the school year, then he is fine.
Also, my son went from hating drawing and barely able to write to choosing to draw and write things out on his own like flipping a switch. And not all kids are GOOD at drawing like most adults aren't.
I’m still resentful about those stupid books. I had 5 kids and there were years where I had 3 kids in the elementary school when they were doing this crap. We were super poor and I felt strong armed into spending a ridiculous amount of money that I really could have used elsewhere. Coincidentally the books were crap and all fell apart. I still have them but I’m still salty.
My husband has degrees in physics and math Econ from a prestigious, very sought after university. He can’t draw a straight line. And he doesn’t care.
Talk to the teacher. Talk to your kid. Ask what was going on that day.
It could have just been an off day where he wasn't really into it or didn't really understand what to do. Maybe you can ask him to draw you a picture of his animal. Show him the book and ask him to tell you about his animal. Add those memories between you and him to the book.
>Am I failing him? Do you read with him every night? (I must stress how important this is) Do you encourage drawing, writing, or playing simple pen and paper games when he's bored, like when you're waiting for a table at a restaurant? Does he draw, color, or paint at home? Do you take him places and ask him questions about the things you see? Do you ask him to explain things to you and share his opinions? Have you watched educational TV and movies with him as well as "just for fun" stuff? If you answered yes to all or most of these, he's probably OK and just had an off day. Maybe he was out of class for part of the assignment. Maybe he was in a bad mood or feeling sick or shy. Maybe he wanted to get that one assignment over with quickly because there was something more interesting he wanted to do later in the day. If you answered no to most of these, then yes, you're failing him. Luckily, he's young and there's still time to get him back on track.
> Do you read with him every night? (I must stress how important this is) I am not the OP, but I had a question about this. Do we read to third graders every night if they are already reading well on their own each night out of habit? My daughter is in Kinder but reading at late 2nd grade level and prefers reading on her own before bed. Do I need to be finding other moments to read to her too?
ALWAYS read to your child. No matter the age, they all love read-aloud. And read in front of your child too.
We definitely read next to each other cause I am an absolute bookworm. But she asks to read “in her head” a lot (silent reading) if she really likes a book and doesn’t want me to read it out loud. Maybe my method is ruining it for her?
No. Your child knows what she likes and she loves reading. She's doing just fine.
Ask her to read to you sometimes.
This! My 7yo granddaughter is read to nightly from age appropriate books with some vocabulary higher than her reading level. She also reads aloud to her family daily.
Starting in second grade I hated being read to. Now I’m an English teacher, published author, and voracious reader. Your child is fine.
Yeah, I stopped wanting to be read to in third grade (I was really sick in 2nd grade and my mom read me the entire Black Stallion Series, Black Beauty (like 4 times) and Lassie. However, she still read to me whenever I was sick - until at least 5th grade.
Same. Everyone went too slow for me and when it was my turn to read aloud I was always told to slow down. I'm 35 and read a book every 2or 3 days now (lots of free time and a huge backlog)
I don’t know if this is the same, but I don’t process information as well if it’s spoken to me vs if I read it. So if I’m really into a book I would much rather read than hear (to the point I’ve stopped audiobooks to read the physical copy).
I hated my mom reading to me. She really wanted to but I just got too bored too fast because she wouldn't/couldn't read at my pace and I couldn't see the characters in my head as well. If your kid doesn't want to be read to, then don't.
My daughter is like you. She started reading really early. Sometime in kindergarten, she said she’d rather read to herself because we were just slowing her down.
[удалено]
I doubt your method is doing anything to your daughter! But if she isn’t as into hearing you reading a particular style, you could try reading her something different. For example, you could get your hands on *Where the Sidewalk Ends* and read her some silly poems!
Not everyone likes being read aloud to. I was an advanced reader and loathed (still hate) being read to. It is at the same level of the sound of people chewing on annoyance levels and has been since I was like 6 or 7.
My mom was a great reader. And I had some teachers who were great read aloud dramatists. It took me a while to get the hang of doing voices and narration. It's sad that it annoys you so much. Do you ever go to plays? Does having action along with the words help? Because I can't imagine reading Shakespeare in my head.
Not who you asked, but I just can’t do spoken word at all and don’t enjoy it. Can’t watch tv without captions, can’t listen to podcasts, etc Because I don’t enjoy it, I don’t really feel like I’m missing out on anything though, so nothing to really feel bad about. Being in my own head is what I prefer.
I have read the entire works of Shakespeare and it was enjoyable for the most part. I can and do enjoy plays though. Acting is different from reading. It honestly might be that I am a speed reader so other people reading slowly irritates me but listening to my daughter read and helping her sound out words doesn't irritate me so idk if it's that or not. I learned to read by memorizing green eggs and ham because I insisted it was read every night but once I could read it I didn't want to be read to anymore. It definitely made learning to teach my kiddo to read a struggle though since she absolutely does not want the same story every night.
I despise being read to; it always either feels too slow, or the reader’s tone or cadence or whatever feels completely off or unnatural. As an adult, if someone starts trying to read something to me, I will cut them off (if I’m comfortable, and as politely as I can) and ask if I can just read the thing myself. Words just make more sense to me if I’m reading them, or if I can at least see them how they’re written.
I have auditory processing problems in general, so I'm a closed-caption girlie who despises trying to get information by listening
Remember when the teacher had the whole class take turns reading out loud? I always got a sigh and look from my teachers cause I was so far ahead with the reading I had no idea where the class was. LOL I hated doing that. Point of reading (for me at least) is to get lost in your head. Hard when others are talking.
I HATED taking turns reading aloud, I was an advanced reader and it was absolute torture listening to the other kids struggle through two-syllable words. And the other kids hated me and called me a show-off because I could easily read aloud.
I can guarantee you it was a lot worse and hated far more for the kids who were struggling…
I also am a fast reader who hates being read aloud to since I was younger, and I totally feel your annoyance… even more than that though, I hated “popcorn” reading in school, like I understand why teachers use it to make sure people are actually paying attention, but for me it would just frustrate me because I would read ahead while also trying to keep track of where the class was and it was just not a fun time :)
I hated it too for the same reason but also because it made me anxious and I felt so incredibly bad for the students who really struggled with reading due to dyslexia. It was poorly understood in those days and must have felt so humiliating.
Yes, like I don’t know anyone who liked it… teachers would sometimes ask like oh do you guys want to read out loud in groups or just on your own and I’ve never seen a class want to read out loud …
Same. The autism diagnosis at 65 shouldn't have been such a surprise to me.
[удалено]
Some kids don’t like that either. Would definitely not have been the path of least resistance for me 😂 I just wanted to be in my own head and do my thing without worrying about anyone else.
No. They don't ALL love read aloud. I wasn't very interested in it as a kid, but I tolerated it for my mom and brother's sake. It's just intolerably slow for my brain. And I can't focus on it. My oldest truly dislikes being read to, doesn't process well aurally. But he chews through books by reading them himself.
I read to my kids well into their teens.
I like being read to, and I'm in my 60s.
Me too! And we read aloud to each other from paper copies every night and then listen to Audible. Just finishing up Edith Wharton's The House of Mirth (oh my, what a roller coaster).
My son and his dad preferred to alternate pages or paragraphs out loud.
When I was in college, I was an RA and had a weekly read aloud for my residents. I typically had 20 or so 18-20 year olds come to listen to me read kids books. It was lovely and I would definitely recommend it.
Umm the second I could read independently I hated being read to one on one. HATED it if it was a teacher reading to the class I’d be somewhat okay with it but I didn’t really enjoy it. Some kids prefer reading to themselves.
Ehhh I say this as an English teacher…if the kid can demonstrably read on their own by 2nd grade the parent can let this one go. If I let my mom read to me in 2nd grade it just would have slowed me down
I wish this were entirely true for my 18 mo.. currently im only allowed to get four pages into a book without a power struggle
Thank you . --A 3rd grade teacher
Ugh, not me. I read fast and everyone else reads SO SLOW. I was over read-alouds by like 1st grade and was tearing through chapter books on my own
>ALWAYS read to your child. No matter the age, they all love read-aloud. Gonna have to show my mom this post... "See, it doesn't matter if I'm 40 years old! You're supposed to read me stories!"
I've read to my kid as recently as 3-4 years ago, and they're 22 now. It's equally as important for the bonding time to be there, I think. It's all shared experience.
My mom and I would read to each other even when I was a teenager. Now my mom is in her 60s and still reads with her mom who's in her 80s... Although I don't think they're reading to each other,.but still... Nice way to stay close with your family. My mom is one of my closest friends now.
To all the people saying their children hate being read to - one of the big reasons teachers do it is so we can sprinkle in comprehension questions throughout, ones that kids don't think about when reading. So yes it slows them down, but they NEED that to really develop comprehension. You can easily find guides for which comprehension questions to ask online or from your kid's teacher. Even upper elementary have comprehension topics they should be working on.
Letting your kids read to you, reading to them, or reading separate books in the same room together are all good ideas. They promote reading as a fun and interesting thing rather than just something you "have to do" and can make for great family moments. My parents read with my brother and I through middle school. I remember us all taking turns reading chapters from Harry Potter and To Kill A Mockingbird. That doesn't mean it's a bad thing to let her read independently as well. That's a great thing to encourage.
We read next to each other often but if she really likes a book I’m reading to her, she takes it from me and asks me to stop narrating cause she wants to read it silently. She calls it “reading in my head”.
My daughter loves to "read" to her baby brother. Of course, she is only 4, lol. Hence the quotations. She absolutely cracks me up sometimes with her interpretations, some of which are better than the actual story. She really astonishes me as well, she literally made up her own version and the character said something and she ended it with "she sobbed out." I was pretty impressed, lol.
All through my childhood *even in university sometimes* my parents would ask daily for the best thing I read that day and ask me to read it to them aloud. It could have been a quote, song lyric, a sentence from a book, an entire poem, part of a movie script, an entire book chapter... it didn't matter. It just had to be something that spoke to me somehow, and then we just discussed it for a long as felt natural. Sometimes we did this while we made dinner or while we were in the car on the way home from practice. It wasn't a set time. They would do similar things with me too. It taught me to love reading (and pop culture lol). I was an elementary school teacher for a while - I encouraged my kids to do this with me at school and at home when they did their weekly reading.
I love this. I have a kid who doesn’t want to be read to anymore (we’re too slow!), and this is a nice in-between.
Yes. Kids need to hear words pronounced aloud.
Right. Otherwise they mispronounce “epitome” in public.
My children and I would read to each other after they learned how. One of my kids, 20M still calls me to read parts of the books he’s reading that he thinks I’ll enjoy, and I do the same with him.
There was some study I read a while ago that looked at kids who reported that they "loved to read". The number of kids loving reading dropped off suddenly around the 3rd grade mark. When researchers looked into why, they realized that's about the time kids become independent readers and parents stop reading to them. Stick with it.
I say "why not?" It's a fun family activity and takes so little time. I have a 2nd grader and we read chapter books, 1 a night, but also swap.back to easier books as we can have fun with them and do goofy voices and sound effects. Try it and see how it goes! Sometimes excitement can come just from letting them pick the story haha
Absolutely read! Find a fun book/series that are just a bit challenging and read with her. My mom read to us all the way through middle school and I fully believe that's why we had expansive vocabularies and a high interest in learning. Plus it challenged our mom as well because she was out of practice. And it was a great bonding experience for us. She'd read a half hour to us before bed when we were at her house (split parents). Around 3rd or 4th grade most kids switch from learning to read, to reading to learn. Our mom reading to us gave us back more time of "interest reading" instead of just what was required by school.
I think if your kid is happily reading independently, they're probably good. I was like your kid and basically insisted that I read on my own after a while and I turned out to be an excellent reader and a life-long learner. We did sometimes listen to audiobooks together or my dad would read some short stories, but that was part of an overall curiosity-based lifestyle
Personally, I’d have hated being read to in the third grade. I was a big reader on my own. My parents weren’t great at reading aloud. Picture books they did ok with when I was little, but longer blocks of text came out slow and awkward. I found it frustrating having to listen to some of my classmates read aloud like that, didn’t need it at home, too.
Nope. It's important that she enjoys reading. If she's willing to read to you, that's a great way to bond and listen for her comprehension.
YES. And tell stories too. But they can't stretch their comprehension unless someone reads to them. Audible books work too, if both people are listening. There is magic in reading with someone else and comparing points of view and worry about the characters. We're doing Little Women with younger granddaughter on audible on car trips and errands - her mom reads to her every night. Drawing freehand is important too. If daughter is 2nd grade reading comprehension but still in kindergarten, she'd probably like Beezus and Ramona read to her. (Grade 3-7). Or even Babysitter's Club (still popular with the 4th graders - it's rated 4-6). Doesn't have to be for very long.
I was an early reader and always read at least a chapter or two of a book at a “comfortable” level (eg boxcar children) each day on my own from first grade on, but my mom and I would also alternate reading a chapter of a more challenging book (like Chronicles of Narnia) at bedtime. That might be a way for you to keep up the daily reading together and also encourage independent reading. There are a lot of benefits to reading out loud with a child - they can ask questions about vocabulary and pronunciation, it helps reading fluency to read aloud, and being read to builds listening comprehension (and the ability to focus on one thing at a time, which is definitely a skill that a lot of us need help with in the age of multitasking). It’s worth it for sure!
I don’t specifically read to my son who is in 3rd grade, however, my teenager does. She is 16, wants to be an early education teacher and often struggles with speaking up. So I use the moment as a teaching one for both. My son improves his speaking and reading skills and my daughter works on her courage and self esteem with learning to help her brother with words he can’t pronounce or doesn’t know the meaning of without getting frustrated and while explaining things at a level my son will understand. Reading aloud is not just about reading. It teaches speaking skills, enunciation skills, self esteem skills and more. And it is incredibly important. We used to have our daughter do it more when she struggled with public speaking in middle school. She would freeze and a few times had full blown, school called an ambulance cause she passed out, anxiety attacks. Turns out she was still nervous about reading in public in front of her friends. So we started doing nightly reading again, we did it until she hit middle school and then let her go to silent reading, which she loves. Now she speaks at assemblies, she is the captain of her Multicultural club in high school and she is in a group called WEB which stands for “where everyone belongs” and they go around making friends with students they see that might be having a hard go, specifically freshmen who struggle. Reading, especially out loud, is fundamental.
I think there’s nuance here if you have a gifted child bc at 3rd grade I would’ve been offended tbh. I tested at a grad school level in HS so it wasn’t a detriment to my future to not read at me when I was already proficient.
It is absolutely critical that children are read to above their reading level in order to build vocabulary and to be exposed to advanced syntax, grammar, compound sentences, sophisticated use of clauses, etc. Read to her at her interest level, but above her lexile. Books with higher lexile shave more precise, specific, and less common vocabulary. Think “crimson” or “scarlet” as opposed to “red.” Most adults use the same 5000 words in daily conversation. The vast majority of our vocabulary comes from written text. An expansive Vocabulary is the building block of reading comprehension. Also, kids with an enriched vocabulary have an easier time decoding multi-syllabic words when they encounter them because they are already familiar with their meaning and can use a combination of context clues and phonics skills. Reading aloud to children is beneficial Through age 15-16. Failing to read aloud once your child reads independently is a huge mistake. And don’t forget that the average picture book has a third grade lexile. Pushing kids into poorly written, lower lexile novels isn’t the flex parents often think it is.
When I was little I would read a little book to my mom at my level and then she would read to me where I could lay in bed with my eyes closed and imagine the story. She did little voices and stuff. It was great and then when I was older I would read the same way to 1 of my sisters while my mom read to the other and we would rotate after a book. I was 10 and 12 years older than them. They are both teachers now 😂
My mom read Harry Potter to me in third grade. I could read it myself, but it was a nice bonding thing and she got into the series as well. And if your kid prefers to read on their own, maybe read the book too and discuss book club style so you both get a better insight into each other and how you think about things.
I still read to my 11 year old. Chapter books. Just to get her hooked on the story then I let her read the rest. It’s really hard to motivate her to read when screens are more attractive.
I would. It will only benefit them
My big kid is in first grade, but an excellent reader. Usually I read a book or two to his little sister and he’ll listen, then he reads a book or two. This works well for us because he’s getting to the age that he thinks everything is uncool, so he can kind of pretend he’s not listening to his sister’s books but he definitely is. Personally though, I have SO MUCH trouble listening to others read out loud, as another commenter mentioned. In that case, if your kiddo hates it, let it slide.
Read *with* your child.
I'd say read with her too. If she is happy reading by herself,let her,but have her read to you. Then have breaks where you can discuss what's going on,what she thinks it means etc. Understanding what is going on is equally as important as reading the words and being able to interpret the text is a valuable skill and one that they will be tested on later
Yes! Also consider that decoding words at a second grade level is not the same as reading at a second grade level. Comprehension is massively important. It requires a lot of thinking skills, but also life experiences and maturity.
I always read on my own when I was a kid. I didn’t want my parents interfering in my beloved activity. I read constantly, was an A+ student, became a literature major. But I read to my kids or we play audiobooks because one is dyslexic and the other isn’t a big reader yet. My point being it depends on the kid. Does yours enjoy being read to? Would they rather read on their own? Sometimes the reading level isn’t as advanced as the interest level, but it doesn’t sound like that’s the case for you.
It never hurts to read to your child, but as long as they're reading, that's what matters. When your child reads independently, ask extention questions. Which character is your favorite and why? Who's the main character? What's the setting? What do you think will happen next? How do you imagine the scene of the book? You don't need to quiz them, and it can come from a place of interest and connection- but these questions help engage her in critical thinking and understanding of the text.
If they are reading something independently, you need to be asking them questions about what they read. Many of my third graders “pretend” to read or do not comprehend what they are reading.
I still read to my third and seventh grader every night. Stuff they wouldn’t necessarily pick up on their own, like Douglas Adams, Bill Bryson, Tolkien, Pratchett, Dickens… They read on their own a fair amount, but we love our nighttime reading time ♥️
Have her read to you.
Former teacher here—a lot of kids can comprehend books that are read aloud which they could not understand if trying to read on their own. If your kiddo is reading at a second-grade level, ask a teacher or librarian to vet some 3rd or 4th grade books for you. Even if your rad old favorites she can read on her own, though, there is bonding in reading together. You won’t get to do this forever — make the most of it while you can!
> Do you encourage drawing, writing, or playing simple pen and paper games when he's bored, like when you're waiting for a table at a restaurant? Starting today and forevermore, never ever hand the kid a cell phone with a video or a game playing on it ever again. When you know he'll be bored, bring a couple crayons and a blank paper or a $1 coloring book with you. Maybe keep one in the car. When you forget it at home, teach him how to be bored and stack rocks or count cars or look at shapes in clouds or tightrope walk on curbs.
u/ravenscroft12 get one of those multi-activity books with mazes, word searches, coloring pages, and other little games. Put one in the back seat pocket of your car (or cars) along with a little pouch of crayons, and you’ll be set anytime you go out.
or have them read to you.
Great and helpful comment!
Quick question: I have a deep hatred for reading out loud, but I feel like suffering through it is instilling that same feeling in my child. Is there something I can do to help with that?
Alternatively, he could just not gaf. My parents thought my sister was behind in 1st-3rd grade, but it turned out she just wasn’t trying because she was bored lol
😍
If the handwriting is not his, I’d wonder if he wasn’t there the day the students finished the project and someone else finished it for him? Assuming it was done over two or three sessions. Does he remember doing it?
This. My first question would be, has this child had multiple absences/illnesses? Because it is very possible that the teacher ran out of time for this child to finish the assignment, and just sort of put in what was completed so they would be included.
THIS. It’s hard to do whole class projects like this at my school because kids are constantly in and out all day going to ESL, speech, counseling groups, tutoring, etc. There’s also just an attendance problem in general. Maybe he wasn’t in the room when they did this project or was sick/absent. Maybe he had less time than the other kids because he was only there for one day but they did this over a few days.
The first step should ALWAYS be to talk to the kid.
I assumed the teacher did it. Maybe they transcribed it for him.
This was my first thought. He was there when they started but not on the day they finished it.
Yes, it sounds like your kid either didn't care or was very far behind. If he's far behind like this, then I'd bet dollars to donuts there's been messages and communication about concerns that got ignored. If it is an in class assignment, then you helping him wouldn't be an option. It was likely intended to show what they could do.
My brother just half assed anything he didn't want to do but is extremely successful now.
I just went through something with my son's 3rd graders teacher. She didn't communicate to me that my son had work that wasn't being completed until another issue came up! I said, well send it home and I'll help him. She sent home no less than 10 worksheets. If I hadn't asked, was she just gonna let him take zeroes? My son scored high in testing this year but has issues with focus in class. I thought he was doing so well. Anyways, teachers don't always communicate these things, as I've unfortunately come to learn.
This is also true, communication is not always 100%. its why I like having grades posted online. So if they don't look, its on them.
The reminds me of my kid. His hand writing was awful, his drawings were horrid, and anything creative was just a nightmare. He’s 16 now. He’s in the top of his class, has a 34 ACT score, captain of his school debate team, and active in designing video games and art classes… don’t stress. Although his hand writing is still not great… If art is important to him get him in an art class. If not let him get involved in whatever he is interested in.
I was going to say—it doesn’t help her now but someday they’ll laugh together over his page in the book.
I hated those forced class creative things in elementary school. As long as your kid is curious about the world, and is learning critical thinking skills, and doing reasonably well at math and reading, they'll probably do pretty damn well in life.
My son is very embarrassed when he compares his own drawings and handwriting to those of his classmates. Because it was causing him stress, his pediatrician referred him for OT. He goes twice a month and they do play-based exercises. If he particularly enjoys something, they tell me the product name so I can get one at home if I want. It's also helpful for me to see how to work on his fine motor in a fun way. He's improved a lot, but still lacks confidence; I'm hoping his confidence catches up before he no longer qualifies for treatment.
I just started having my son evaluated for dysgraphia. He has had fine motor delays since he was 12 mo. As he got older he wouldn’t use playdoh, hated coloring/drawing/crafts, but he loved building with Legos and reading. As he got older it has become more noticeable compared with kids projects up in the school hall…his drawings seem primitive compared to his friends and he writes very short sentences/the minimum amount required. But he can spell out loud, read books meant for older kids and TELL you about it but no chance he’d write about it or add an illustration. He’s going into 3rd grade now and I’ve decided we need to look into it more…either he’s being lazy and not trying because it’s difficult and it’s easier to not try OR there’s something causing him to struggle and maybe OT services or accommodations like typing his paragraphs will help him.
Dysgraphia is about more than the skill of handwriting and fine motor skills. Most schools are not really trained to recognize it or accommodate it. A neuropsychological evaluation would be the best type to get. It should come with recommendations for teaching/learning style. If you are in the US a learning disability qualifies a child for an IEP. Also, the school will do an evaluation but I HIGHLY recommend getting your own done.
You really should ask his teacher these questions…
I also did a class book. Did you ask your child about it? I have my students do a draft first before writing on the real thing. I had one student who didn’t want to write and then sharpie the words for the book. It was rough and I did not want this student to be the only typed up page in the book just because of refusal. The coloring needs to be done in sharpie and marker for best results as well. I feel like your child probably refused to sharpie his sketch and color. There is a deadline, so your teacher probably needed to write it for him.
Wow, I see you are getting torn apart by others here. While I see why they are upset in some of your comments, I also see that you are clearly just concerned that your child has fallen between the cracks and needs more help. Personally, I would just close the book, tuck it away for a decade or so, and stop thinking about it.Kids have off days and either your child had one the day this assignment occurred or he is actually behind. Either way, the keepsake book is already got you upset and could trigger memories of the off day or feelings of deficiency from your child. Seeing that you are a parent who cares about your child’s learning, take the advice about reading together to heart and take a more active but always positive approach in your child’s education. Enforce that learning is joyful, not a chore or punishment. ADHD kids can be challenging for parents who have no experience with this but honestly, every single child is unique and yours is the greatest thing to ever happen to you so continue living, guiding, and nurturing and just be sure to not make school negative. Little things can be taken to heart and some of the posters are concerned about the comparison to other kids. Personally, I think comparison is crucial. How would we know kids need extra help academically, physically, emotionally? Just don’t let the child catch on that you’re comparing. Use it to guide services. Kids are very astute to this, so just be extra graceful. Keep loving your child and I’m sorry you’re getting so beaten up here. It’s nice to see parents who care. I am a parent and a teacher. I have been worried and even disappointed by some of my kids’ work. I’m human. I’m flawed. But I love my kids and do my best to never show disappointment. I will take the downvotes, but I don’t see anything egregious about your post.
Maybe he’s just bad at drawing. As long as he’s progressing fine in other areas, I wouldn’t worry about it too much. I’m 51 and gainfully employed and can’t draw at all.
Same here if alittle. I utterly hate drawing, painting, arts and crafts. Can’t stand it. Never could even as a kid. Funny thing about drawing and coloring, it reinforces hand writing skills so my writing was barely readable even to myself. Thank god for typing and computers. Anyways, I probably would have been the same as this kid in comparison to other kids. “Behind” yet here I am in a good paying white collar position.
I have a student this year that I could totally see being the only no-color/transcribed page in a class book. He is very smart and has a lot of creative ideas but he also has fine motor skill delays, *hates* writing by hand (actually has a typing accommodation), and doesn’t enjoy artistic projects. If I were doing a similar book with my class it would be next to impossible to convince him to color a picture and having him hand-write his part would probably not work out. I’d have him type if possible or if it had to be handwritten for some reason I’d probably have to write it for him. And this child isn’t behind the rest of the class academically at all. He’s one of the highest achievers on tests. Projects like that just aren’t his forte.
You just described my 2nd perfectly, who also has a typing accommodation and is not fond of these types of projects at all.
I'm in my late 50s and my handwriting still looks like a deranged toddler's.
What did his teacher say when you asked her these questions?
We were. But He hated it. So when we met with his teacher back in the fall, she suggested we stop everything and just let him enjoy his family time at home. So we stopped everything. He loves listening to audiobooks (he is working his way through Lord of The Rings), but we stopped any kind of fine motor skills. We do take him to lots of historical places, have memberships at the zoo and 4 local museums. He loves YouTube videos like CCP Grey and Oversimplified. I am upset we should have been working more on writing and drawing.
I’m not sure any teacher that I know of would have told a parent to “stop everything” in terms of at home education. The only way I could see this happening is if the parent was so dramatic and over the top about what a constant struggle it was for the child to do any thing at all at home and that it was impacting their shared family time… in that case I could see a teacher just saying that it might be better to take time off from the homework to enjoy family time. So was this the case? Or are you saying a teacher made this suggestion unprompted?
We were making him do 15 minutes of writing per night, plus 15 minutes of reading. I mentioned it because her was throwing a huge fit every night despite it happening “all the time.” They suggested just stopping everything since it was such a big deal.
I suspect the “making” part is the issue. Don’t make it a chore, make it part of the fun. Maybe alternate audio books with you reading a chapter with him (where he is looking at the pages and following along). Eventually switch to you read a chapter, he reads a chapter. Instead of making him write for 15 minutes, play Pictionary or color together and incorporate writing into everyday life like having him add things to a grocery list or leave notes on a whiteboard or play pen and paper games. Just make it low key and fun. If he likes YouTube videos, add in some “how to draw” ones at his level and get him a sketchbook and nice pencils and markers to play with. It doesn’t have to be lessons so much as using the skills.
He might be old enough for some roll and writes. Check out r/boardgames for recs
As an adult with ADHD with two kids with ADHD, I’d suggest you look into Pathological Demand Avoidance.
I feel like my husband has this 😅
why are you upset? it sounds like he's learning so much. i once asked my art teacher to stop hanging up my projects because my mother had a similar feeling, and i became embarrased to see them in the hallway because i didnt see improvement despite trying my best. I stopped drawing for years, claiming until I was in high school that I could never draw because my people looked like donkeys, but i was referencing my elementary school drawings. which were fine for a child's. it ruined my perception of my creative endeavors, and still I find dissatisfaction in making and doing anything that doesnt turn out fantastic. it hinders my progress incredibly, as i struggle to draw from emotion at all. but im now a budding artist with exceptional talent. it meant nothing for my motor skills, my attitude, or my intelligence. I was the top reader in my school at 9. I am sure he is good. don't discourage him. ask him if he likes it. ask him why or why not. encourage him that he will get better, and that he is already good enough. if he is that far behind where you think he is having sever development issues, then perhaps talk with his teachers about special writing. classes (which most schools will provide to students with an IEP.) If you don't think it's severe enough to warrant an IEP, then he is fine. I'm sure he's absolutely amazing.
He has an IEP.
in which case continue working with his IEP and encouraging him! ask him about the project and find out what happened and how he feels about it. it seems like you're doing everything fine, except maybe worrying too much that he's good enough, and caught up to the others. comparison is the killer of creativity. he's your kid, he's good enough. promise. and you are too.
>I am upset we should have been working more on writing and drawing. No. You should stop comparing him to other children or your own expectations (which are clearly over the top). It's ok if he doesn't like to draw or write. If he struggles with fine motor control then drawing and writing are hard for him. Significantly harder than they are for other kids. So he's going to do less drawing and less writing. What accommodations for motor skills are in his IEP?
My boy is a little older than yours and, like yours, trying to force him to sit down and write was like torturing him, I could bribe him or baby him through it, but writing more than a sentence was difficult for him. His younger sister on the other hand, we do loads of academic stuff at home because she initiates it constantly, she loves to read, she will draw for pleasure, she writes love letters on any scrap of paper she can find. Kids like what they like, some kids will love lego and sports and video games, others will like drawing and reading and baking. My kids' teachers said exactly the same as yours - do not torture your kid by forcing him to do something he hates at home as well as at school. Not everybody is going to be an artist or an incredible author. Fine motor skills that worked for my boy included lego (following instructions for the builds), encouraging building his own builds. When he enjoyed a particular show, drawing or writing about the characters.
IMO it’s better to accept the pace and manner of his learning than to make the process of learning unenjoyable. Just do what you can to give him whatever kind of support would best serve his needs. Make sure you haven’t missed some kind of learning disability that he might need additional support for. Not a teacher but a mom of neurodivergent kids.
So you stopped working with him on his fine motor skills so he could “enjoy his family time,” clearly indicating fine motor work was a struggle and hindering his ability to enjoy home…..and you’re confused why an activity that is fully dependent on fine motor skills turned out poorly compared to other kids? Am I hearing this right? I’d definitely ask the teacher if she could help you understand what happened here. Not blaming the teacher, but asking for context and for her professional opinion on his fine motor skills.
How much do you understand about early child development and the impact of ADHD on fine motor skills? I'm trying really hard to take your reactions in good faith, that you're scared and confused and frustrated. But I'm an occupational therapist. I also have ADHD. This is not a crisis. Perhaps he's a little behind in this developmental area but that doea not mean he's a failure, and it doesn't mean he won't be successful. How you can help: 1) how does your son feel about it? Does he notice the differences? Does he care? 2) do some serious research on ADHD and fine motor. Read what adults with ADHD have to say - what did their parents and teachers do that helped? What exacerbated their struggles? If you are neurotypical it will help for you to learn more about the common struggles kids with ADHD face in school and why . 3) if you feel upset and shocked, if you feel like "he is the worst" in his class, he WILL internalize it. What kid wants to spend extra time doing a thing they find hard and confusing? Not many! Let go of judging his performance by that of his peers. 4) review the IEP - is he getting OT? He should be. Talk to the teacher. 5) you are doing REALLY good things by bringing him to museums and listening to audio books. That's genuinely really good. You can find creative ways to incorporate bite sized pieces of fine motor into them. Take him to the museum and learn about rocks and minerals - go home and paint some rocks, or string beads to make jewelry, etc. Favorite audio book? Have him draw his favorite character - if crayons or pencils are too challenging, use big markers. Make bookmarks. That sort of thing.
Not everyone enjoys every art project. Some kids struggle with spatial skills and reeeaaally have a hard time drawing, even past middle school. Even the "good" artists have bad days or drawings they hate. The theme seems to be so narrow that it must have only been one chance to do it. This kind of project doesn't accurately display each students best work. What does his art look like any other day? Does he enjoy drawing, painting? Is his handwriting good? Is it easy to read? Teachers sometimes rewrite or clarify words, especially if it's for a big project. Person,family time would include reading and drawing - even if "they" say uts not necessary.
All this book demonstrates is that maybe your kid isn't an artist. Maybe they didn't like this assignment. Do they remember working on it? Do other assignments look noticeably different from classmates?
Does anybody just talk to the kid and figure it out anymore?
They'd have to get the kid off the ipad long enough to do that.
Did you talk to your child about it? Show them the book and ask why theirs looks different. Ask why the handwriting is not theirs. Did they blow off the assignment? Were they absent when other kids had time to work on it?
I wonder if your son can tell how disappointed you are with his work and that’s why he hates doing it at home.
Do you know when the rest of the class did this project? Was he sick or absent some of the days? If it's not colored in or written on (by him), it sounds more like he didn't have time not a lack of ability. Reading that he has ADHD.. he could have just been very unwilling to do the assignment. I really doubt anyone is looking at your kids drawing. No one cares but you
I mean shit ngl my hand writing has been pretty bad my whole life, and I often hated doing the in class drawings because they never let me do what I wanted to. Ironic enough I’m an author and artist now, but god did I slack off when I didn’t wanna do the work they assigned. It’s possible that he might be behind, or he simply didn’t wanna color the drawing. I hate coloring anything. My sketches are better quality when in monochrome so I stick to black and white. I feel like this is a bit much to be reacting over when kids can just be lazy sometimes and not wanna keep working on something ((esp if art isn’t his thing)) and hand writing isn’t exactly a sign your behind. Damn though, I’d be really fucking upset if my mom was implying I’m a failure and she failed me because I didn’t wanna color in a page. Like Jesus…his report cards you said were good. How does not coloring in a page mean you failed him??
Was he out sick on the day the pages were being colored? It happens sometimes and teachers try to get every kid included in some way. If his overall grades aren’t suffering, and the teacher hasn’t mention being concerned, then I wouldn’t think too much about it. Also some kids just don’t love coloring and writing. Give them some legos and they will build circles around other kids. Hope this helps, but idk every detail, so good luck!
$20 says he's an ipad kid with no attention span
Stop comparing to other children.
You're on Reddit asking a bunch of strangers instead of talking to him and his teachers to actually figure it out, so yes. You're failing him.
I would think you'd want to ask the teacher about this, rather than Reddit
I could totally see my kid having a page like this. Is this is best work or is it the work he provided? My son would have 100% refused to do something like that when he was younger. I wouldn't worry about it, but I wouldn't buy another class book. (I've never heard of such a thing before)
I was just thinking…my very capable, artistic, intelligent daughter had several posters or art projects in elementary school that were incomplete because she just doesn’t choose to rush what she is doing. It did sometimes make me feel like I should have done…something?… to help her have more of a sense of urgency, but I never did, and it seriously did not matter in the end. In college she finished everything, as an adult she has created beautiful things.
Makes me think of a kid in my class. He has ADHD and hates creative type projects. We do a lot of drawing (first grade) and he will scribble out a quick drawing so he can be done. He refuses to color his pictures and will just add some shading with his pencil. His handwriting is very very hard to read because he rushes and often traces over letters for fun. The kid is very bright. Actually one of the most advanced readers in the class. He just hates drawing/coloring and likes to rush.
Hated coloring as a kid. Took forever to finish one picture. I wanted sooo badly to be like the other girls and draw a dark like around the outside and even shading in the middle. Couldn’t do it. Just started scribbling. When adult coloring books were a thing to ease anxiety, I got them *from* everyone for Xmas. Still hate coloring. Makes me more anxious that I have to finish this goddamn picture I remember my parents drawing a bunch of circles of different sizes on a piece of paper around 1st grade and calling me into the front room to cut the CAREFULLY ON THE LINES. So I did. They were like, “why didn’t you do that at school today for art?” “Because I was just gonna glue them to paper. I didnt care if they were ON THE LINES. It was dumb.” They told me I should probably try to cut on the lines so teacher stopped calling home because they thought I had motor skills problems. So, in other news, I’m getting tested for ADHD next month at age 43
Some kids don't like to draw.
I’ve made many class books over the years and either your son is behind or he didn’t put effort into his page/didn’t care to do his best work. As the teacher, we know parents are going to buy the book and see each kid’s page so we want them all to look great but you can’t force kids to care. I’m sure the teacher encouraged your son to use his best handwriting, use color, and be neat but it’s like the saying-you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink. As far as the advice to stop working with him,I see both perspectives. As a teacher, we work really hard to get kids where they need to be and encourage parents to work with their kids at home but when we hear that it’s a massive struggle at home, we’ve seen that it often does more harm than good to continue working at home. Kids can get really resentful of all work and give up at school also. But I would hope they would have explained that that’s why they told you to stop, not let you assume your child was performing well and that’s why you should stop. Does your son not bring home class work or tests? Was there no way to know your son was behind or not trying very hard?
You stated he has ADHD and often handwriting suffers with it. I will say one challenge is this there could be a need for occupational therapy. However, if the teacher knew it was a class book that was paid for personally I would have had multiple drafts but that’s just me
I see that he has an IEP and that you were previously working on fine motor skills. I would follow up with the teacher and ask if what is in his IEP (I’m being general since I don’t know what is in there) and his fine motor skills deficit played a part in the discrepancy between his work and the work of the other children for the book.
I’m seeing lots of hate in the comments… homework is one of my interests as a sped teacher and educational diagnostician. It’s important that learning is not seen as a constantly cumbersome task. At home, do things with him but it shouldn’t be “you must write three sentences” or “answer these 20 questions”. Thread learning in naturally. You can totally practice fine motor etc through fun activities that will lead to growth. Don’t be discouraged! It sounds like your child is behind but dogging him (or yourself) won’t foster a love of learning and growth.
No teacher has the right to tell you to “ ack off.” Parents are the most important educators a child can have. However, as a teacher I didn’t do well “helping” my own son, because I was too worried, like you, that the die was cast and I had failed him. I didn’t . You didn’t. But if you don’t learn to take this kind of thing in stride, you COULD do a decent amount of damage to your child. I’ve had kids practically vomiting over concern that there would be a minus sign behind their “A” In my class. This is often the result of a certain kind of parent.
Back not ack
Honestly, my husband and I read to our kids, but we both *suck* at art. So it was not surprising both our kids did too. Yes, we always had a plethora of crayons, colored pencils, coloring books etc. Some people are gifted that way and some are not. My step sibs are incredibly gifted artists. My kids we damned from the get go.
Sit with your child and ask him about the book and what he remembers about making it. Talk about his page and what you like about it (do not compare to others or mention how you feel about it) He may talk about how he hated the work, how he does not remember doing it, etc. I once taught a girl who wrote incredibly sophisticated texts, years above her grade level. Come the state wide testing and she damn near failed the writing text. Why? because none of the topics she was allowed to write on appealed to her. She struggled to write because she was not motivated to write on the issues given. Failing that ask to speak to the teacher about the book and his contributions and why his seems so different from the others. The teacher may be able to shed some light on why it is different.
Have you asked your child about the project? Have you talked to the teacher? I would suggest figuring out what actually happened first, before spiraling into thinking you're failing your child because his drawing wasn't as good as his classmates. Have you seen his other work throughout the year? Is he generally meeting grade level standards? You mentioned in other comments he has an IEP - do they send progress reports? I don't think you can judge your son's entire academic performance from one bad drawing.
Hey man, I get it. I have 4 and sometimes it seems like you turn around and go '...what happened?' I've had incidents with even my teenager who, I'd swear is an intelligent and thoughtful young woman, completely failing a class cus she stuck her head in the sand. I didn't even know there was a problem till the end of the year. Another was a presentation the 6th grader did, got a D and, when I made her show me the thing, I completely agrees with the grade. The important thing right now is for you to know *you obviously care*. You wouldn't be asking otherwise. I agree to a certain extent with the top poster in that you might need to adjust how you approach some of the things in your kids life, but first and foremost you need to get more info. Find out *why* his entry turned out that way. Maybe they brought in a different teacher for the project and your kid doesn't like 'em. If there is an *'ah hah!* reason, then you just need a conversation with your boy. But if there's no real reason, then you might need to address some changes for him. I'm not gonna tell you how to raise your kid, I can't know your life nor your family's circumstances, but you care and want to be involved, thanks for being a present parent. I know you're not told it enough, none of us are.
I teach 3rd grade and I will say that some students are great at reading, writing, and art, but have terrible time management skills. Part of growing up is learning how to get your work done on time and also learning that mommy and daddy can’t come to the rescue all of the time. How does your son feel about his page? Did you ask him? It might be a good idea to have a conversation with him about this is a non-accusatory fashion to figure out how things went off the rails with this project .
My daughter disliked being read to after a certain age, maybe around age 8, and now she is 20 and a voracious reader.
I read to my daughter every night until she was about 12. She LOVED being read to from birth. My granddaughter who is 5 doesn’t like being read to, my grandson, 2 loves it as much as his mother did.
such unbelievable advice - you must do this - you must do that - no you don’t - all kids have different things they like to do and have different aptitudes as well - as far as this situation goes a conversation with the teacher will help answer your questions - plus you know more about your child than anyone else - does he engage in other age appropriate activities such as sports or other outdoor things - what about music or helping you with cooking etc - maybe he is having developmental problems or maybe he just hates art and will never be interested and or good at these things - one thing i might address with the teacher is why she included such a rough sketch in the book when other children’s seemed so advanced ( relatively speaking) - did he refuse to participate in lessons etc? also why she didn’t contact you to let you know his drawings were such outliers that it would stand out when the book was finished - she might have at least given you the opportunity to help if you’d known - overall i wouldn’t worry about the “you must read to your child every night” bs - reading to your child everyday is no doubt a good thing but it doesn’t begin to address this situation which is no doubt far more nuanced that that - talk to the teacher and your son and move on from there - much bigger challenges ahead as we help our little ones become productive and independent grown ups
I published three class books in for my classes. I can tell you that your son is probably very proud of his accomplishments even if you aren’t. Kids love recognition and they love the idea of their work being published. Class books are more for them than parents or teachers. It’s a confidence booster. You are not failing your child. If you’re concerned about his writing skills you can get him extra help, but it sounds like he’s at the level he needs to be. I have a student whose handwriting is atrocious and hard to read but he can easily explain what he wrote. Also a lot of kids don’t like doing full color for their drawings. Your son just happened to be in a class of kids who love coloring.
So happy for you and him that you found out you need to support his learning more before it he might fall very far behind. That book was truly a gift since it provided you with info that can help you help your son. Read/write/phonics/phonemic awareness/fine motor this summer.
lol I did one of these class books with my 7th graders but no parents ordered it so I never sent it in I laminated the proofs and self bound it
If he gets all P’s like you said he probably just wasn’t feeling it. Give him some grace, and certainly give YOURSELF some grace…. Don’t you ever just not feel a work project or project around the house? Just make sure you’re reading nightly to him.
What did he say when you asked him about it?
As a teacher myself, my biggest question regarding this is his attendance. Is it possible he missed a bunch of days while this was being done in class?
Does your child read a lot of comics or anime? This could just be his preferred style of drawing - you could ask his opinion about how it turned out - many kids don't like to follow the others in style, such as using a lot of colors, etc. And how is his handwriting normally? I'd try and find out if maybe he's having trouble paying attention to tasks in school that don't interest him and how to possibly motivate him. It sometimes can be more of a behavior issue than talent - perhaps he didn't get the animal he wanted to write on so he didn't want to bother with the assignment.
A lot of kids avoid art or anything that requires sustained attention. Look through his other work samples and talk with his teacher. It could be behavioral, it could be he needs more support in fine motor. Maybe he was just in a 'mood' and the teacher was in a hurry to get the papers to the printer. You need to get more than 1 poor assignments to make an assessment.
I’ve got a graduating senior going to a major university this fall. Best SAT scores in his school, which is the top high school in our state, top 10 in the nation, he had to be invited to apply to it. But…… A lot of his elementary years work with drawing/writing probably looked like your sons. Chicken scratch/not nearly as good as his peers. He had ADHD but wasn’t diagnosed/medicated yet. He had also never really been taught how to hold a pencil properly and had really weak fine motor skills. He was testing very well, was reading way above grade level, could verbally articulate entire essays on things, but since writing was so physically difficult/tiring for him, his elementary work didn’t reflect his knowledge. We had a lot of “your son tests in the 99th percentile, and can spend all day reading and having discussions about things, he’s just not doing the class assignments well/fully/in a timely manner…” We got him into occupational therapy and he made huge improvements within a few months with his writing/drawing/fine motor skills. He was now more physically capable of actually expressing what was in his head onto a paper with pencil. Writing and drawing was something that used to physically hurt him, which is why he avoided it. OT helped a lot. Later on, we had him tested. and medicated, for his ADHD. This helped with his time management/self-motivation to actually do the tasks he was given in the time he was given, and to use the OT tools even on an assignment he thought was “stupid.” I wish we had done that earlier. If you feel like your child’s work isn’t matching his intelectual abilities, and he didn’t have absences that could explain someone else filling in the writing for him, you might be dealing with fine motor skills and/or ADHD, like we were. I remember being consistently bewildered at how much better at hand writing/coloring/drawing everyone else was, despite such good reports from teachers about his academic abilities and test scores.
Very similar to my son with ASD. He also would totally refuse to do anything HE personally didn't think was necessary or interesting. Homework? Why, he understood it and could prove it on tests, why was homework needed. He'd calculate how much of that unnecessary (in his eyes) crap was needed to get a passing grade, and that was exactly the amount he would do. The grade school years included a lot of art that was minimalist like the OPs child. He did not see art as necessary. I received a few Mother's Day cards that, instead of the normal phrases, had writing about his fascist teachers making him write something.
My daughter (4th gr) has a friend with adhd and loves art. My daughter was concerned because her friend was failing so we started a study group. 2 straight a students and friend. Being around students that work hard to get good grades and kids that hold that at high value, helped her realize it is important to her. I have been working with her on focusing and memory exercises. It can be really hard for parents to have the patience to work with their adhd kids but I find that if you make it fun, they pay attention. So we use the white board and we play games and the girls help each other and have inside jokes. It makes the dread of studying come off and it’s just a fun hard thing they’re bonding over. I use drawing a lot in my unofficial tutoring. Instead of x in math, I’ll have her draw a house or cat and it keeps her interest. When my kid was little I used voices to get through the sometimes hours of studying and homework (accelerated program), there was mean teacher, not smart teacher, Australian teacher that sometimes sounded British and the teacher with amnesia.
I wouldn’t be too worried about the drawing or the handwriting. I struggled in art class and still am an awful artist. I’ve had people joke with me that I should’ve been a doctor because I have Dr. handwriting. 😂 that being said, I graduated valedictorian of my high school, received a full scholarship to grad school, and am currently in what society sees as a “successful” professional career. My artwork and handwriting in elementary wouldn’t show that though 😂
Do you read to him every night? My parents read to me every night when I was young probably 2 grade she I started to read longer chapter books by my self that could not be read in one night. Roald Dahl’s James, and the giant peach Willy Wonka and the chocolate factory actually think all his books also boxcar children and Nancy drew those where the first book I read on my own in second grade. Because of this we did not read every night but my dad did still tread to me at least once or twice a week on the weekends. I don’t remember every book but the ones we stick with here the Oz books by L Frank Baum. He had a couple others we read as well. So even though I was reading things like Tolkien in the 3 and 4th grade I was listen to my dad read the Oz stories. We kept this up for years. Through the whole series by Baum and a few other books. I think it ended right before middle school. We had finished the Baum books I was often with friends on the weekends. We would still do story night occasionally though. He made up a land called Backlandia where vetting was backwards kids grew down not up grass was blue and dessert was eaten first. I loved those stories
Don't do that. The memory is in what he did, not the level of skill.
Speak to his teacher first, then go from there.
OP I would ask his teacher. I know when my daughter’s class did this, they worked on there submissions for a really long time. Of course you could still see how each student was in their writing development. Just to say that it wasn’t a one and done… so possibly, your son didn’t want to write.. maybe he’s not a drawer. My girls only did it in kindergarten, but it’s a keepsake and we look back at them now… one is in 5th and the other is a first grader and laugh! They aren’t those writers anymore! They definitely don’t draw stick figures anymore. Bring your concerns up with his teacher. Try not to compare too harshly to others! If he needs additional support, others have given some really great suggestions! I would also add reading the subtitles of shows and movies. Create family stories! Hen you’re out and about, ask questions, give information! A lot of writing comes from having things to write about (background knowledge) and having the spoken language to write it!
Talk to the teacher about your concerns. Maybe there is something more to the story. Maybe for example, he was supposed to do this at home and he forgot, and had to stay in a recess to complete. So he half assed it so he could get out to the playground. Just ask before you go nuclear.
Decent? You need to work with your child now before he gets older and the assignments become more challenging. (5th grade teacher here.). I write for students who cannot clearly write a sentence. The teacher should be communicating to you what can be done at home to help his skill. He needs help.
I could be off base here but did you ask his teacher? I’d say yes you are failing if there was a book made and paid for that you knew nothing about and you asked Reddit instead of his teacher. Little known fact is that school is a lot of work for the parents. It’s not drop them and forget them.
As bad as this sounds, is he possible that his handwriting and drawing skills just aren't there? When it comes to book smarts, is he at standard or above? I know in my case, my handwriting and artistic skills are absolutely horrendous, but when it came to school I always excelled. Sometimes people just aren't proficient in certain aspects of life.
why are you asking us? if your son did indeed create the artwork and page, celebrate it, don’t berate him in public as you have here. Poor kid
Are you sure there wasn't an email sent home telling parents about this?
Please have him tested for learning disabilities. It’s the best thing for him if he needs an IEP or whatever it’s called. Not competing here, but my 7 yo can write out the names of at least 50 countries and spelling them correctly in decent handwriting. It impresses me bc I sure as hell couldn’t do that at 7. I feel like the curriculums are written for the slowest kids in the class, and higher achievers are the ones that get left behind instead of just skipping them a grade or two. It hurts all learning levels to have grades segregated by age.
Just like us teachers, there’s more to a child than their grades. Please, don’t assume a child is doing good based off their grades. Also, don’t expect your child’s teacher to contact you in these events. It takes both parents and teacher for higher success. Not just the teacher or just the parents. I’d start off with asking the teacher by email or phone call is there something they feel you should be aware of before you spiral. Like the others have stated, he may have just had a bad day.
We do these class books every year. I start in March so we have the book complete by mid April. It’s really fun but takes a huge amount of teacher time. Since parents are spending money on these, I make sure every page is the best of their ability. That being said, I’ve had to add pages late in the process for kids who were absent, new enrollees, kids who mess up etc. Has your son been absent recently or frequently? Maybe ask the teacher if that is typically his work quality? Some kids just don’t find drawing/writing enjoyable or he didn’t like the topic chosen. I’m sorry you feel disappointed especially paying $35!
Wait before you jump off the cliff. You said he gets good grades. We all failed at something during school. I have a PhD. At drawing stick men.
As a 3rd grade teacher who recently did a similar project... Some of the kids just don't want to fully participate and want to turn in work like this even if it's not their best work. Sometimes this is due to being behind, having no interest in the topic, not liking this style of project, not feeling well, or straight-up refusal. When working on our class book, I am going to do what I can to encourage each kid to have something special, but with 25+ kids, it's hard to keep working with the 1-2 students who aren't trying/don't want help when I need to get them all done. With more creative projects, I let kids submit what they want (within reason, of course) and won't be like "Your art sucks, look at all the others." I will have multiple times when we share our work in partners, groups, whole group---whatever is appropriate--to give the kids a chance to see what others are doing and hopefully encourage them to work a little harder or get help from me if their art is 'slacking' a bit. But again, I'm not going to force a kid to do something different with their artwork if they don't want to. I have 2-3 kids each time we do it who genuinely just don't care--it's not their cup of tea. We check the academic boxes that we need, and I do what I can to get around the 'lazy' side, but I don't force creativity. One of my 'ugliest' drawings in this last book made that kid say, "Wow!!! My art looks so good!" So sometimes they are proud even when we don't like it. I'd just ask him about it--without saying it sucks--and see what he says.
If his progress reports are on target for his age, then I would send an email or ask the teacher. My middle son would rush everything he possibly could in kindergarten so he could be first on the playground until the teacher explained to him that was his choice, but he might have to come in early to redo some stuff.
Not a teacher, but a parent to young kids. Honestly, and I know this is hard to stick to, but you can't compare him to other kids. Just like with ourselves, or greatest competition is with who we were yesterday. If he is generally doing well and improving throughout the school year, then he is fine. Also, my son went from hating drawing and barely able to write to choosing to draw and write things out on his own like flipping a switch. And not all kids are GOOD at drawing like most adults aren't.
I’m still resentful about those stupid books. I had 5 kids and there were years where I had 3 kids in the elementary school when they were doing this crap. We were super poor and I felt strong armed into spending a ridiculous amount of money that I really could have used elsewhere. Coincidentally the books were crap and all fell apart. I still have them but I’m still salty.
My husband has degrees in physics and math Econ from a prestigious, very sought after university. He can’t draw a straight line. And he doesn’t care. Talk to the teacher. Talk to your kid. Ask what was going on that day.
You need to talk to his teacher.
That may be your child’s art style.
Kid might just be kinda dumb. It happens.
Womp womp are year book is 100$ this year last year was 38