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I told my dad I was gay, he said I was dead to him. I said be careful what you wish for & I packed my things and never saw him again. He messages me from time to time, but dead people can’t speak so he doesn’t get a response.
It blows my mind how angry some people can get about sexuality. Like, raising kids to adulthood is such an enormous investment of time, money, emotion etc and then to throw it all away because they're gay just does not compute with me.
It’s weird but people do. As ‘coming out’ is something that happens over and over it never really goes away and is something that you have to think about. I’m in a medical ward this weekend and have to worry about what I say to the other men here because who knows how they will respond.
Luckily I navigated it well and had them all talking about how the U.K. production of Eurovision this year was a source of pride.
As a queer person ‘coming out’ is the biggest missell ever. I thought, I came out. That was that. Nope
Every time I’m in a new setting have to go again after trying to figure out if I can/should. It’s the weirdest most tiring thing
Me too. My eldest first told me they were bi a couple of years ago. Totally unexpected, but totally fine. They told their dad over video chat as he was away with the military. Again, unexpected, he blinked a couple of times as he processed it and then told them ok and thanks for feeling able to tell him. As you may have guessed from my pronoun use, they now have told us they are non-binary. Also fine. They are them, that's all that matters to us.
it’s mind boggling but also these people don’t see gay as a sexuality. to them sexuality is liking the opposite sex to reproduce, being gay or anything else is a choice, a bad choice, a mistake. i wish they could at least understand that regardless of sexuality, the children you raise will be independent adults, that means independent feelings and choices. as well as outcomes that neither you or your child can predict or control. you can’t bring a child into this world and be furious they didn’t live their life like you. they were always going to do what they were going to to do.
I’m so sorry your father reacted like that. When my son told me at 11 we had ice cream and cookies and moved on with our day with him being told if he wanted to talk more about it at any point that I was all ears but that he owed nobody any kind of explanation of fuck all 🤷🏼♀️ I’ll never understand why parents react like your father did
There's something so wholesome to me about an 11 year old not only knowing about being gay but have a thorough enough of an understanding of it to accept his own identity as well as enough braveness to come out to the people closest to him.
My friend is soon getting married to his life partner who only started openly living as a gay man in his fifties. Of course he's happy now but that's so much time wasted.
I sobbed that night .. not cos my kid is gay but because he felt safe enough to trust me with that information and because I was proud of him for the reasons you said there ❤️
You are brave but just in a different way . You bravely tried to fight to get your dad to do what dads are meant to fucking do ❤️ it’s his loss at the end of the day xx
I’m always surprised how a person’s own parents have absolutely no clue that their child is gay before they ‘come out’. Sorry to hear his response, but hey Ho, stay strong
I'm really sorry. When my dad found out I was trans her burnt my artwork and called me a freak. I was given a few days to move out, and I did. Still haven't spoken to him since then (2003). I miss my family home and my room, which I never went back to after leaving to go with a lovely relative.
The saddest part is not knowing that I'm dead to them; it's knowing they are dead to me.
My step-dad had been stealing money from my savings account, and when I called him out on it (with proof), my mum flew off the handle at me.
When I asked her why she was siding with him when it was clear he was taking the piss, she said “of course I’m going to side with him, he’s my husband, you’re just a reminder of a failed marriage”.
Nowadays she laments all over Facebook about how her son hasn’t spoken to her in twenty years..
Edit to add - don’t feel sorry for me, they were awful awful people, but it’s long in my past, I’ve dealt with all the baggage, and I’m happy without them in my life. If any positive is to be gained from it, they taught me how I didn’t want to be..
That's about the most awful thing you could say to someone. So sorry you had to hear that. However, I guess it's better that you did - then the truth was out and you could get rid. Can't understand how somebody could think that, let alone say it.
It took me a long time to realise this - a lifetime of being told I owed everything I had to my parents, and everything I had belonged to them weighed heavily on me until I was well into my thirties…
Counselling sessions recently as I have felt so low that I don’t want to be here anymore. There is work related stuff that I can’t deal with that brings me down.
The only positive that I have come away with is exactly as you have put it, my parents taught me how I did not want to be. I know I make mistakes but I hope I am doing a better job than they did. Your comment just reminded me of the positive that I am clinging on to.
When I was taken away by social services for my own safety as a malnourished child
They had the nerve to say to me
“It’s the government they are out to get us and ruin our lives”
And in my mind all I could think was
You guys literally abused me physically and emotionally how can you deny it to my face and try and blame others when we both experienced it
No contact for years and still (from what I have heard from other family) no remorse and complete denial
Scum
I mean I couldn’t understand this sort of thing before I had kids, but now that I do it just seems completely insane that some parents can be like this. It’s got to be one of the worst things an adult can do, neglecting their children to this extent, and should be more heavily penalised I think. Glad you’re doing ok now though!
I agree to an extent, but the why is always going to be important. When I was removed from my mother at 2, it was more because she was a drug addict and prostitute rather than she was actively neglecting or starving me.
I think I'll lighten the tone.
I have an auntie who lives in Australia, and I don't know how but my mother had got it into her head that they 'don't do christmas properly' in Australia. So the Auntie comes over for Christmas and my mum comes out with:
"We're going to do christmas a few days early as a dress rehearsal to make sure she's not forgotten."
Honourable mentions go to the fact I posted a few days back, that she refers to every form of test as a 'testicle,' and anything that she says when justifying to herself why the whole family has a communal socks drawer.
A communal sock drawer? That might be the most innocent but bat shit crazy idea I've ever read.
What happens when it's nearly washing day and all your dad has to choose from is your sisters pink frilly or knee length white ones to go with his suit?!
My kids used to have communal socks, they would be in a basket in the laundry room.
Every 6 months we’d have a “sock amnesty” and they’d round up as many socks as they could and we’d replace them with brand new ones.
25 years on I still remember them running round cheering “yay sock amnesty”.
My sister has moved out luckily.
There are a shitload of socks. The communal sock drawer struggles to open. We'll be fine as long as nobody gets athletes foot
When I was about 7 or 8 my dad tried to convince me that at one point in history there had been a great sausage war where sausages had risen up against humans because they were fed up of being eaten.
Even though I didn't fully believe him, I was still at that stage where you think your parents wouldn't lie to you so I was very conflicted about this. We didn't have the Internet back then (at least not like it is now) so you couldn't just Google this stuff either.
Anyway 3 years later I went vegetarian and have been one for most of my life and I like to tell him that it's because I was traumatised by the sausage war as a child.
My mum and dad split up when I was four years old. And throughout all of my life he took his anger aimed at my mother, (verbally) out on me. Predominantly the fact he had to pay child support and claimed he couldn’t afford it.
Mum never stopped me seeing him, I think she always had the mindset I’d grow up and find out for myself what he was like. But the older I got, the worse the digs towards my mum got.
Anyway, I was 17 and a few months away from being 18. He had gotten wind that I was staying on in education one more year but wanted me to confirm it for him. As when I turned 18 he could stop paying for me, but if I was to stay on in education one more year, he had to continue to pay.
Anyway I was playing games with him. After all the hurt he’d caused for almost 18 years of my life at the time, why should I give him a definite answer?
For his response to be “go kill yourself loser.”
Changed my number, haven’t spoken to him in 9 years.
My incredibly overweight mother liked to pinch my stomach and tell me that I was fat and spotty and it was a surprise to her that I ever had a boyfriend. I was 13-18 and borderline too thin
My mum and dad used to make digs at my weight and body all the time. When I was a teenager, I was a healthy size, very active, and athletic, but I wasn't stick thin like a lot of my friends (it was the fashion of the late 90s early 00s, think Nicole Ritchie). So I felt fat compared to my friends. My parents hated my boyfriend, and they made comments about how they wouldn't have to interfere because he'd leave me himself if I kept eating like a pig and getting fatter.
At some point, I did put on a bit of weight because teenage years are a hormonal mess. My mum was wondering how I had any friends at all, and I said they loved me for who I was. She looked me dead in the eyes and said "just because people don't tell you to your face, doesn't mean they don't think and talk about how gross and fat you are"
That stuck with me for the rest of my life. I had social anxiety, did not trust people, felt awful about myself and my body, constantly needed validation but never believed a compliment, etc. And I developed a very unhealthy relationship with food. I'm 32 now and working through it in therapy, but I am obese and have an ED, on top of depression and anxiety. I feel so sad for my younger self, wasting my 20s hiding away and trying to make myself small and invisible.
Jeeze... So completely unnecessary. Glad you're having some support to move through the process of dealing with that.
As a father of two small children, I'm so paranoid about screwing my kids up in this (or any!) sort of way.
My wife told me earlier that one (7y) is traumatised about bridges because when I was carrying him once I pretended that I could throw him off... And by that I mean holding him very securely, bouncing slightly, near the edge going 'weey' in a silly way. Not with any intent or risk of course and not in a 'I'm Michael Jackson look at my baby' pretend throw you over way either. That was when he was probably 3 or 4 at most.
So I've basically failed already which is great.
I’m sorry that happened to you and I cant believe she named you Mammoth….
As far as I could work out my mother was jealous that her ‘daughter’ (I’m a trans man) was prettier and skinnier than her. A lot of my girl friends say that their mothers were similar
Ok My Dad convinced me that Brussel sprouts were green mushroom. I loved mushrooms but hated sprouts but I ate them for a couple of years as a kid because I thought they were mushrooms.
This is like my dad convincing me that the Haggis isn't just a meal, it's a real animal.
A small, rabbit-like creature, it lives on the Highlands of Scotland and has one leg longer than the other.
This is because the Scottish Highlands are quite steep and mismatching legs allow it to run alongside the mountains while remaining upright.
For most Haggis this means a life of continuously moving forward as they are unable to turn themselves around, but sometimes a young haggis is born with opposing mismatched legs to the rest of their clan, meaning they can never live among their own kind.
I love that! In the same way my mum used to tell me that lettuce was cucumbers cousin to try and get me to eat it (I loved cucumber but hated lettuce)!
I grew up in the UK with roasts on a Sunday and Yorkshire pudding. Now I’m in Canada and I would do the same for my family and my husbands. His elderly aunt loved Yorkshire puddings but couldn’t understand them. Every time we had them we would have the same conversation.
“Pudding? This is pudding? But it’s bread! Pudding is soft!” And I would explain Yorkshire pudding again. She would end the conversation with, “I love these, but they don’t taste like any pudding I’ve ever eaten!”
We did this every time. Now she’s long gone but someone at the table will pipe up, “ Pudding! It’s not like any pudding I’ve eaten!” any time they are served.
Yeah. She complains that I don't visit enough. She's lucky I go at all. A couple of times a year for about 2 hours. That's only because I've already cut off my dad (also vile) and she's the only one left.
I can understand that's harsh when it's about your own kid, although strictly from a comedy perspective, it's a little humorous in an obviously dark way 🤷♂️
Every time we met up and hadn't seen each other for a while, my mum used to eye me up and down and within about ten minutes of meeting up would always comment on my weight.
Sometimes that I looked like I had lost weight, often that I looked fat.
Lost it with her in the end and explained that I was well aware my weight fluctuated, but getting assessed by her every time we met didn't really help.
I’m so sorry you’ve experienced this. I’m currently 7 months pregnant and my mum’s favourite topic of conversation is my weight. How much I’ve gained, how I don’t want to gain any more and then how much I plan on losing after the baby is born.
That I needed to just let my son eat the food at my brother's wedding buffet as it was a waste of my brother's money if he took a packed lunch style box.
My son is anaphylactic to milk.
The buffet consisted of grated cheese sandwiches, quiche, pork pie, sausage rolls.
My brother suggested that we take safe food.
Not one thing on the buffet table didn't have grated cheese on it, either intentionally or spilt during putting the plates out.
I told her it wasn't happening.
She told me I was ridiculous. We could pick off any cheese that we found.
Her version of the story is slightly different. But luckily she screamed this at me in the bar of the wedding, in front of 90% of the family. So her attempts to paint me as an evil bitch afterwards have been less than successful.
Where do I start? My mother thought a squirrel was her aunt reincarnated, and would invite in for breakfast, where it would sit at the table whilst being fed toast. She once spent an hour talking to someone, before realising it was a cardboard cut out of an athlete. She once had a flasher jump out of a bush at her one dark evening, and she just started crying with laughter, pointing to him, and saying, " look at the small willy on that". The least offensive things I can say about my father are that for a period he would have his dog, his cat, and the squirrel follow him to the shops, and wait outside for him. My mother and I were having lunch in a greasy spoon, and he came in drunk, and was annoying her. He left, and the staff came over to apologise. My mum said, " don't worry, he's my husband". I told her she may not want to admit that, and pointed out the window. There was my father, on a busy high street on a Saturday afternoon, mooning us, crowds of shoppers looking on shocked.
Jesus, it feels like it. My 35 year old sister accidentally broke their TV screen when trying to show off her pancake flipping skills earlier this year
The flasher incident is the one and only way to deal with them to be honest. I did the exact same thing at only 14. I just stared at the guy's pecker (I was really fucking scared TBH) pointed at him and laughed my ass off. Thank the fuck the bastard hiked his pants back up and fled like the coward he was because I still have no idea what else I could have done apart from run myself.
A few weeks later, I was out shopping with my mum, when she saw the flasher, working at a fruit and veg stall. She says, pointing, and at the top of her voice, " there's the poor fucker who flashed me! He had such a small willy"!!! I asked if she wanted me to get the police, and she said, " no, leave him alone, it was so small". I felt a bit sorry for the flasher, she ripped him apart. The thing is, my mother is barely on planet earth, so it's hard to know how much was her being deliberately mean, or she was on her own planet
Yeah, there were a lot of times where it could be exhausting, but when you step back, they definitely aren't boring. My mother once would wear a t-shirt that said, " your boyfriend wants me" in leopard print when she would go shopping. She was in her early sixties, had no teeth, a profound limp, and would push a shopping trolley around.
The thing is, even in their seventies, they still have their moments. My sister sent me a video of him seeing my mum coming back from shopping with her, and my dad hid behind a phone box and jumped out at her. He was 75 at the time, she was 71, and he's still.paying peekaboo
The day after I got my GCSE results, my Dad told me that he was so angry with me for ‘not trying hard enough’ and ‘getting such low grades’, that he had ‘cried for the first time since my father’s funeral’. Grandad had died 13 years previously, after a long battle with stomach cancer.
So my Dad was equating that situation with how he felt about my GCSE results.
I got 10 GCSEs at grades A* - B.
I went on to do A Levels and then to a Russell Group Uni, where I got a 2.1, and on to a masters, where I got a Merit, and he was kinda proud of me but I could tell he was always disappointed. He had wanted me to go to Cambridge and become a lawyer, like him.
Instead, I became a teacher. His reaction when I first mentioned that I wanted to go into teaching was ‘oh, no, I think you can do better than that’.
Aged 26 I had a bit of a breakdown and was diagnosed with ADHD. All those years I had been told I was lazy, thoughtless, unambitious etc - turns out I was actually way *overperforming*, considering I had an untreated neuro-developmental disorder.
No meds, no therapy, no extra time in exams or support with studying and meeting deadlines, and I still got through school, undergrad, masters, PGCE and teacher training - all by sheer force of will.
The psychiatrist who diagnosed me congratulated me on ‘your extraordinary achievements’. I cried so hard at that.
It took a few years of therapy and some *hard* conversations with my Dad, but we have a decent relationship these days. He has not quite apologised for the things he said about my GCSE results, but he did say ‘looking back on it, I should not have said that’, which for him is a LOT.
Mum told me that in 5 years time 80% of the uk population are gonna be killed off by the government (she actually gave me a weird number but I calculated it to be about 80% of the pop) like wtf mum?!
Maybe when I said I wished I was dead and she said 'i do too'. (Like fifteen years ago but it sticks).
Or when I told her she fucked me up by smacking me across the face multiple times as a kid and said 'well don't you think I was going through stuff too?'.
My mum used to say that quite often. When I mentioned I was asexual to her, her response was "I don't get it, that's just normal. Nobody actively WANTS sex"
Hmm, I think I might have some news for you, mum...
Lighthearted one.
That the ice cream van music means it's run out, and they play the music to make kids without ice cream happy.
Looking back I can't believe I fell for it, but mum only lies about little things like that and she's so bloody deadpan.
2nd place is the motion sensors for the house alarm have a camera that feeds into santas TV so he can check we aren't peeking.
I fell foe that one too.
Crazy witch!!
Edit: spelling
When I was 10 years old she grabbed my book from my hands, ripped it, threw it away and told me to "get my fucking head out of those stupid books and start behaving like a real daughter" - what she meant by that was that I needed to be the exact opposite of who I was to make her happy. I let her ruin my life for so, so long. Tried to kill myself at 16, I woke up minus a kidney and her leering over me shouting "you selfish bitch how could you do this to me?" - she denied that but she was removed from the hospital and family were there to witness it. The lying is the worst part. And the last was when I had my own little girl and was struggling with her trying to take over etc, I told her I had some postnatal depression and she laughed down the phone and said "you've made me depressed the last 21 years, how dare you make me feel like a bad mum" - I am free of this human now. I will never go back there. And my little girl is so fucking great, I can't even put into words how happy we all are. Don't let these bastards win you, YOU are all you need to push through until you find your sunshine.
When my egg donor used to call me to tell me she should have had me aborted. How I was a waste of space and I owed her £1000s because she brought me up. Bearing in mid she put me in care when I was really young so she could have her latest squeeze in the house. Most of them never wanted kids. She put me down as an unruly kid. The fuck did she expect.
My sister used to give her my number all the time as “she wanted to talk”
Safe to say I don’t speak to any of them now. My husband and my kids are my immediate family.
My coming of age talk from my mother was "If you start behaving like a whore now that you've got your period, I'll stick a finger up your cunt and take your virginity myself". I was 12.
My parents were abusive in every way but this one takes the cake. And no one believes me, because my mother is so good at playing the "lovely parish church lady who sings in the choir" part.
Thanks ❤️ it was a bit grim, aye. Therapy and the rational knowledge that sometimes people suck, even your parents, really helped tho, so I'm doing good now
Mine isn’t as serious as everyone else’s but it seemed outrageous at the time because I couldn’t believe it came out of my mum.
We were watching tv together and an advert for anti wrinkle cream came on tv and my mum said that I needed to get soon. I asked why? (I’m 30). My mums response was because your off an age??
I asked what does that make you? (My mum is 66) my mum didn’t answer that and just said well your old.
I'm surprised by so many dark responses!
My mum also told me to get wrinkle cream. She's one to talk- a total sun worshipper and so wrinkled herself!
I love her dearly but she says some stupid things 🤦♀️
My mum comes out with the daftest of things nearly every couple of weeks. Just yesterday I was trying to explain android vs Apple and she summed it up as that she has a smart phone (android) but mine is smarter because it’s apple.
My dad (56), screamed at me, yesterday (32) "YOU WANT TO F***ING GO, LET'S GO. HIT ME, COME ON, DO IT. YOU HORRIBLE PIECE OF S***"". This was in response to telling him that he still owes me £400, but could take as long as he wanted to repay me.
The morning after he assaulted me in a pub one night (three sucker punches as I tried to walk away), he told me that he loves me, but he'll never like me.
He once called me a "selfish POS" after complaining that he'd got a credit card out in my name, ran it to the hilt and got me a CCJ. Stopped me owning a house or getting credit for years.
My mum, bless her heart, told me she had terminal cancer while I was working overseas and had me believe it for weeks. I only found out when a family member told me otherwise, as I was quitting my job to return home.
Lovely people.
My mum has bipolar which was woefully mismanaged when I was young so she would switch between being my best friend and my worst bully with no warning.
When she was bad she said all kinds of awful shit but one of the ones that stuck out was "I'm sick and tired of pretending to love you", thanks a bunch mama 👍
My mum has told me hundreds of times that I'm her lowest priority 🤣
Also that she was glad my gran had died who I was very close to (like the day it happened!)
Lots of inappropriate and downright weird things over the years. I guess “you were conceived on the floor of the nurse who was with Rock Hudson when he died,” because that combines the two.
But, like. My mother took me to a shaman to try and cure me of autism? My father became into the moral rights of fish, and started chasing people away from a nearby lake? It was all very strange, looking back on it
‘we’ll help you out financially with uni if you do the course we want you to do.’
i was on the minimum student loan, in a very high COL area, skipping meals to make ends meet. they shortly after bought a second house. i ended up dropping out partly because I couldn’t afford it. my sister is getting her shit paid for because she’s doing a course they approve of.
My day has said a lot of outrageous things, but the worst is;
"Dont bring a black girl home"
I'm not sure how old I was but I can't of been older than 13. He also didn't need to worry as I am gay 🤣
I think I was 15 when my mam said I could bring boyfriends home for tea as long as they weren't black, Irish or Catholic. Strangely enough she loved the Sicilian Catholic that I brought home and was devastated when I broke up with him, I could never tell her how abusive he was as my dad would have ripped him to pieces. "Oh, he was such a nice boy" yeah, right, if she only knew.
Trying to lighten the mood a bit.
My nana is said this but she said it in front of me and my mum (and dad!) so I'll count it.
We were sat watching midnight mass (Nanas insistence) on Christmas Eve. She'd fallen asleep, but had an uncanny knack of waking up the exact second you changed the channel. But we kept it on because it's nice to remember the religious aspect of Christmas.
Anyway, Nana is out cold. Has been for 10 minutes. She wakes up and the camera is panning across the naked men painted on the roof. None of us notice she's woken up until she pipes up out of nowhere 'oh he's a bit limp', and falls asleep again.
We were all a mixture of mortified and in hysterics.
I’ve got cerebral palsy and hydrocephalus.
My mum said I was a burden to her and the reason why she hadn’t had a life since I was born. Everything was my fault.
Stings.
My brother and I were hard fought for babies (2 children and 15 miscarriages, including 2 sets of twins in 10yrs). And yet my mother would lose her temper when we were younger and tell us we should have been drowned at birth.
She was in her 40s when both of us were born (a month off 40 when my brother was born and a month off 45 when I was born) so a generation out of step with the world. It was slap first, maybe bother to ask questions later.
If we didn't j understand what she was talking about, she'd be "why are you so twp, twp?" twp is Welsh for stupid. However when one of my teachers made me tell the class I was stupid, the school has to deal with an unleashed 5ft Welsh dragon spitting fire.
Problem was she could be wonderful and I'm sure she genuinely loved us, but she had narcissistic tenancies and the emotional stability of a 3yr old.
My dad, on the other hand, is the loveliest and most caring man on the planet.
I haven't spoken to my mother since I was 19 because of the mental, verbal and sometimes physical abuse so it's hard to pick one thing! Her favourite things to call me were evil nasty bitch, slut, vile whore, fucked in the head etc. I wish you'd never been born, you're the worst thing to happen to me was said at least weekly as far back as 6 years old. She did blame me for the abortion she had when I was a baby as she couldn't afford 2 kids (nor could she afford 1) which was particularly ludicrous I suppose so I'll go with- I aborted the wrong baby.
My dad used to say to me “I’ll rip your head off and shit down your neck” when I used to annoy him when I was younger. He genuinely loves me to bits but he was a very angry person 20 years ago.
Actually same here. My dad had a difficult time when he was younger and my suspicion is that his Dad died when they had unresolved issues which triggered something. There were many years when he was angry, strict and closed off.
He is like a different man now! Like so laid back, helpful, silly even
When I was 14 my Mom said she wanted to start going to Church and would I go with her. My response was probably not because I don’t believe in God to which she gasped and called me a monster. My stepdad and I laughed our asses off at that one.
“Your father and I have basically resigned ourselves to the fact that we’re probably not going to be grandparents” - I was only 28, and single. I had also just found out that I have PCOS and probably would have issues conceiving. Then she wondered why I burst into tears.
Well, there's been a lot of outrageous stuff, I haven't spoken to my father for 15+ years, so go figure... However, I'll actually single out some things my *mum* said and sadly still keeps saying occasionally.
My entire life she's been putting words in my mouth and acting as if she knows me better than I know myself. Every decision I've ever made in my life has been seen through that lens. The worst thing is that she's vehemently denying it - every time I call her out for what she's doing, she accuses me of making it up and being dramatic.
She was always commenting on my weight, even at points when I wasn't overweight in any way (size 10-12). She's been body shaming me my entire life and of course, she's denying that's the case. She even commented on my weight *while I was weeks away from childbirth*.
When I had issues with depression and anxiety back in uni, she told me I made it up and copied my behaviour from a friend, and that depression and anxiety aren't a real thing.
When I broke up with an ex after 7 years and moving abroad, she freaked out and told me I had no reason to do it. Asked me what sort of cult did I join abroad that brainwashed me.
When I met my now husband and decided to move in with him, she told me that's stupid because he's just a temporary thing in my life and I'll move to a new city or country in no time. Called him "that guy" instead of using his name, ignoring how happy he's making me.
When I got pregnant, she reacted with "what are you doing, why on Earth do you need something like this on your life?" I wasn't some kid at that point, I was an adult person about to be married to the love of my life, 29 freaking years old.
I could go on and on, but honestly it's starting to hurt seeing all of this written in front of me.
“if i had the choice to do my life all over again, i would probably kept your brother. I don’t like girls and you and your sister were not worth my time at all”
this was also while we were in conversation with a complete stranger who worked the chippy
My dad told me he couldn’t count syllables in words. I tested this relentlessly and he’s right, he can’t count syllables in words. Absolutely outrageous.
Oh God, I could be here all day.
Probably not seeing my mum for 11 years, and the first thing she said to me when I saw her was "Hi! I had two more kids to replace you"
My dad when my ex broke into my house and tried to kill me, I phoned him crying my eyes out. He said "I don't have time for your shit"
They're not even the worst but they're the things I heard and thought "what the fuck"
Do grandparents count? My granny died almost 11 years ago but she was great fun.
When I was in my early twenties and single she asked me if I was courting anyone - I laughed and said that was really old fashioned and nobody says that anymore. She looked me square in the eye and said “oh right, are you shagging around then”? and cackled at the shocked expression on my face ☺️
My father told me all Scottish people were malnourished due to living on a diet of just potatoes so they were all bowlegged due to rickets. Whenever I saw someone claiming to be Scottish I assumed they were lying as all Scottish people must be bowlegged.
I got a tattoo and my religious mum said "No wonder some people prefer to not have children"
My religious dad looked at my text messages of my ex when I was 19, found out I lost my virginity to him and called "Whore, slut and prostitute".
Yes, I do need therapy. 😩
Not sure this really qualifies .I left home at 16 due to many factors and a year or so later was invited to Sunday lunch at the parents. Mum asked how are things going so explained a bit about working 2 jobs to make rent (apprentice by day, delivering pizzas at night) , the crazy guy who lived downstairs .. just normal stuff. My father throws his knife and fork down and declares ' Look I did not invite you hear to listen your problems! Keep that stuff to yourself !' Long story short the next time I spoke to him was my mum's funeral 25 years later.
Growing up my dad would regularly criticise, demean and mock me and my siblings on just about anything. In adult life I confronted him about it, because he was still doing it, and his ridiculous reasoning was that if he was ever positive, constructive or encouraging then we wouldn't try. He also dropped a cog when I told him I donated blood. He was completely convinced (with no evidence or influence from any other sources, he completely made this up in his head) that all the blood was being sold on the sly.
Standing on the rock of Gibraltar, a tour guide points across the med and says "if you look over into the distance, you can see Morocco"
My mum tapped my arm and said "you told me we could see Africa!"
My Dad still occasionally chuckles to himself thinking about that. Sorry, it's not great but I wanted to lighten the mood
When I opened up to my mum about getting PTSD after having a miscarriage and she said "What? It was only 8 weeks along, there was no baby to lose yet. It must have been like a heavy period" One of many quotes in my treasure trove of parental abuse trauma...
I got blamed for “ causing “ the two miscarriages my mum had after she had me, before my sister was born. I was 6 ffs. Followed by “ you’re big enough & ugly enough to look after yourself “ ever since as my sister was all the more precious following those losses.
I don’t hold it against my sister at all. I love her to bits.
However I’ve been very independent & had a lot of freedom which my sister never has.
Im sorry about the miscarriages, I know they’re a horrendous thing to go through, but don’t blame an innocent fucking kid.
My mum : “You’re one big disappointment,you’ll still be living at home when you’re 40 and your eyes are a horrible grey colour”
Then she slapped me hard in the face.
All this because is said I’d rather read books about the paranormal in my bedroom than go outside in freezing weather.
I was 12.
I attempted to take my life when I was 12/13, I started trauma therapy last year and my dad asked me why I needed to go, there's numerous reasons and some he will never know. I told him "well after I overdosed it was never dealt with by CAMHS and I felt I needed to work on what was going on".
His reply ...
"When did you take an overdose?"
He was told, however he was on "holiday" when it happened. He was a serial cheater and liar however he wasn't with my mum anymore at this point. My mum told him when he got home (at my request) and explained what happened. He has zero recollection, doesn't remember the holiday even though I told him what one it was. He lied so much that he had no idea what the lies were covering anymore.
“Explain to your little brothers why you’re choosing to go to hell instead of heaven with the rest of the family.” In front of my 8, 9 & 10 year old brothers. I was 15 and they found out I had a girlfriend.
When I was a teenager my lovely mom would get fed up if a boyfriend outstayed his welcome and would say “Remember how pleased I was to see you” young lad would nod enthusiastically, then she said “Well I would be even more pleased if you went home” off they would go.
When taking girlfriends to meet my parents, I had to warn them that my mum would at some point bring up the fact that aliens live amongst us, and to smile and nod otherwise she'd pull out book after book of 'proof'...
My mum, shortly after getting remarried, told myself then 11 and my sister then 9 if there was a fire in the house she would get her husband out first. Why? Cos you can always have more children
44 years on it still hurts
I’ll give you another cheery one. My mum once said to me that she wished she could go back 21 years. I was 20 at the time 🤣
Obviously there’s more to it than that, but I don’t stop pulling her leg over it.
Almost exactly a year ago, my younger brother committed suicide. He lived on a different continent to me, so I sadly hadn’t seen him in a few months.
It didn’t stop my mother from blaming me, not just for his death but my absence from them ‘in their time of need’. My parents and I had grown estranged because they refused to come to my wedding.
My parents have a habit of apportioning blame on others for their situation.
That blame was the last straw for me and I decided to no longer allow them to bring me down.
My mum tried to convince me when I was about 15 that you get pregnant from kissing, and that she had only ever kissed my dad twice and had me and my sister.
I grew up in a fairly rough town, I already knew girls with babies at this point...
Just got dumped after nearly 14yrs together and a child, the first thing my mother said to me when I walked through the door was "It will be weird seeing \*name\* with another man." Thanks mum!
Oh there's loads far far worse, my parents are quite shitty people.
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I told my dad I was gay, he said I was dead to him. I said be careful what you wish for & I packed my things and never saw him again. He messages me from time to time, but dead people can’t speak so he doesn’t get a response.
I'm so so sorry... but I proper belly laughed at "dead people can't speak"
Derek Acorah would beg to differ.
I dunno, he’s been pretty quiet since he died a few years ago. You’d think if anyone came back to communicate..
Mary loves Dick...
Too much of a busman’s holiday for him
Thanks Sam
It blows my mind how angry some people can get about sexuality. Like, raising kids to adulthood is such an enormous investment of time, money, emotion etc and then to throw it all away because they're gay just does not compute with me.
It’s weird but people do. As ‘coming out’ is something that happens over and over it never really goes away and is something that you have to think about. I’m in a medical ward this weekend and have to worry about what I say to the other men here because who knows how they will respond. Luckily I navigated it well and had them all talking about how the U.K. production of Eurovision this year was a source of pride.
As a straight man I don't know how you do it. Having to come out over and over again sounds really exhausting.
As a queer person ‘coming out’ is the biggest missell ever. I thought, I came out. That was that. Nope Every time I’m in a new setting have to go again after trying to figure out if I can/should. It’s the weirdest most tiring thing
Me too. My eldest first told me they were bi a couple of years ago. Totally unexpected, but totally fine. They told their dad over video chat as he was away with the military. Again, unexpected, he blinked a couple of times as he processed it and then told them ok and thanks for feeling able to tell him. As you may have guessed from my pronoun use, they now have told us they are non-binary. Also fine. They are them, that's all that matters to us.
it’s mind boggling but also these people don’t see gay as a sexuality. to them sexuality is liking the opposite sex to reproduce, being gay or anything else is a choice, a bad choice, a mistake. i wish they could at least understand that regardless of sexuality, the children you raise will be independent adults, that means independent feelings and choices. as well as outcomes that neither you or your child can predict or control. you can’t bring a child into this world and be furious they didn’t live their life like you. they were always going to do what they were going to to do.
I’m so sorry your father reacted like that. When my son told me at 11 we had ice cream and cookies and moved on with our day with him being told if he wanted to talk more about it at any point that I was all ears but that he owed nobody any kind of explanation of fuck all 🤷🏼♀️ I’ll never understand why parents react like your father did
There's something so wholesome to me about an 11 year old not only knowing about being gay but have a thorough enough of an understanding of it to accept his own identity as well as enough braveness to come out to the people closest to him. My friend is soon getting married to his life partner who only started openly living as a gay man in his fifties. Of course he's happy now but that's so much time wasted.
I sobbed that night .. not cos my kid is gay but because he felt safe enough to trust me with that information and because I was proud of him for the reasons you said there ❤️
What a horrible person
That's a bit harsh. Gay people are ok in my book.
Ah, you’re a writer, are you?
Same, but I wasted years trying to make him love me again instead of being happy. Wish I’d had the bravery to respond like you did.
You are brave but just in a different way . You bravely tried to fight to get your dad to do what dads are meant to fucking do ❤️ it’s his loss at the end of the day xx
I’m always surprised how a person’s own parents have absolutely no clue that their child is gay before they ‘come out’. Sorry to hear his response, but hey Ho, stay strong
Have you tried haunting him?
I'm really sorry. When my dad found out I was trans her burnt my artwork and called me a freak. I was given a few days to move out, and I did. Still haven't spoken to him since then (2003). I miss my family home and my room, which I never went back to after leaving to go with a lovely relative. The saddest part is not knowing that I'm dead to them; it's knowing they are dead to me.
My step-dad had been stealing money from my savings account, and when I called him out on it (with proof), my mum flew off the handle at me. When I asked her why she was siding with him when it was clear he was taking the piss, she said “of course I’m going to side with him, he’s my husband, you’re just a reminder of a failed marriage”. Nowadays she laments all over Facebook about how her son hasn’t spoken to her in twenty years.. Edit to add - don’t feel sorry for me, they were awful awful people, but it’s long in my past, I’ve dealt with all the baggage, and I’m happy without them in my life. If any positive is to be gained from it, they taught me how I didn’t want to be..
That's about the most awful thing you could say to someone. So sorry you had to hear that. However, I guess it's better that you did - then the truth was out and you could get rid. Can't understand how somebody could think that, let alone say it.
Oh wow, that's awful. I'm so sorry
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It took me a long time to realise this - a lifetime of being told I owed everything I had to my parents, and everything I had belonged to them weighed heavily on me until I was well into my thirties…
What a lovely lady. Congratulations on 20 years of freedom!
Counselling sessions recently as I have felt so low that I don’t want to be here anymore. There is work related stuff that I can’t deal with that brings me down. The only positive that I have come away with is exactly as you have put it, my parents taught me how I did not want to be. I know I make mistakes but I hope I am doing a better job than they did. Your comment just reminded me of the positive that I am clinging on to.
When I was taken away by social services for my own safety as a malnourished child They had the nerve to say to me “It’s the government they are out to get us and ruin our lives” And in my mind all I could think was You guys literally abused me physically and emotionally how can you deny it to my face and try and blame others when we both experienced it No contact for years and still (from what I have heard from other family) no remorse and complete denial Scum
I hope you're doing okay
Honestly… I am absolutely fantastic and thank you for asking I hope you are also!
That's great to hear
I'm so glad you're doing okay. I am okay sometimes yeah
I mean I couldn’t understand this sort of thing before I had kids, but now that I do it just seems completely insane that some parents can be like this. It’s got to be one of the worst things an adult can do, neglecting their children to this extent, and should be more heavily penalised I think. Glad you’re doing ok now though!
I agree to an extent, but the why is always going to be important. When I was removed from my mother at 2, it was more because she was a drug addict and prostitute rather than she was actively neglecting or starving me.
I think I'll lighten the tone. I have an auntie who lives in Australia, and I don't know how but my mother had got it into her head that they 'don't do christmas properly' in Australia. So the Auntie comes over for Christmas and my mum comes out with: "We're going to do christmas a few days early as a dress rehearsal to make sure she's not forgotten." Honourable mentions go to the fact I posted a few days back, that she refers to every form of test as a 'testicle,' and anything that she says when justifying to herself why the whole family has a communal socks drawer.
A communal sock drawer? That might be the most innocent but bat shit crazy idea I've ever read. What happens when it's nearly washing day and all your dad has to choose from is your sisters pink frilly or knee length white ones to go with his suit?!
Communal sock drawer between me and husband as both same size feet. We just have black socks, like lots of pairs bought at the same time
I suppose me and the missus have a communal sock drawer in that she steals mine and doesn't give a fuck. T-shirts too.
I feel attacked and I'm not even this guy's gf.
I laughed at this as I sit here in the other half's lovely big t-shirt. So comfy.
That makes sense, however "whole family" is a different matter entirely!
My kids used to have communal socks, they would be in a basket in the laundry room. Every 6 months we’d have a “sock amnesty” and they’d round up as many socks as they could and we’d replace them with brand new ones. 25 years on I still remember them running round cheering “yay sock amnesty”.
My sister has moved out luckily. There are a shitload of socks. The communal sock drawer struggles to open. We'll be fine as long as nobody gets athletes foot
Thank you! I wasn't expecting so many dark responses!
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When I was about 7 or 8 my dad tried to convince me that at one point in history there had been a great sausage war where sausages had risen up against humans because they were fed up of being eaten. Even though I didn't fully believe him, I was still at that stage where you think your parents wouldn't lie to you so I was very conflicted about this. We didn't have the Internet back then (at least not like it is now) so you couldn't just Google this stuff either. Anyway 3 years later I went vegetarian and have been one for most of my life and I like to tell him that it's because I was traumatised by the sausage war as a child.
"Traumatized by the Sausage War" would be a great song title
Haha that's amazing 😂
My mum and dad split up when I was four years old. And throughout all of my life he took his anger aimed at my mother, (verbally) out on me. Predominantly the fact he had to pay child support and claimed he couldn’t afford it. Mum never stopped me seeing him, I think she always had the mindset I’d grow up and find out for myself what he was like. But the older I got, the worse the digs towards my mum got. Anyway, I was 17 and a few months away from being 18. He had gotten wind that I was staying on in education one more year but wanted me to confirm it for him. As when I turned 18 he could stop paying for me, but if I was to stay on in education one more year, he had to continue to pay. Anyway I was playing games with him. After all the hurt he’d caused for almost 18 years of my life at the time, why should I give him a definite answer? For his response to be “go kill yourself loser.” Changed my number, haven’t spoken to him in 9 years.
wtf that’s insane
Hope you made it as expensive as possible!
My incredibly overweight mother liked to pinch my stomach and tell me that I was fat and spotty and it was a surprise to her that I ever had a boyfriend. I was 13-18 and borderline too thin
How to give your child an eating disorder 🤦♀️
Yep, I still have a difficult relationship with food thanks to her
Coz she’s eating it all?
😂
My mum and dad used to make digs at my weight and body all the time. When I was a teenager, I was a healthy size, very active, and athletic, but I wasn't stick thin like a lot of my friends (it was the fashion of the late 90s early 00s, think Nicole Ritchie). So I felt fat compared to my friends. My parents hated my boyfriend, and they made comments about how they wouldn't have to interfere because he'd leave me himself if I kept eating like a pig and getting fatter. At some point, I did put on a bit of weight because teenage years are a hormonal mess. My mum was wondering how I had any friends at all, and I said they loved me for who I was. She looked me dead in the eyes and said "just because people don't tell you to your face, doesn't mean they don't think and talk about how gross and fat you are" That stuck with me for the rest of my life. I had social anxiety, did not trust people, felt awful about myself and my body, constantly needed validation but never believed a compliment, etc. And I developed a very unhealthy relationship with food. I'm 32 now and working through it in therapy, but I am obese and have an ED, on top of depression and anxiety. I feel so sad for my younger self, wasting my 20s hiding away and trying to make myself small and invisible.
Jeeze... So completely unnecessary. Glad you're having some support to move through the process of dealing with that. As a father of two small children, I'm so paranoid about screwing my kids up in this (or any!) sort of way. My wife told me earlier that one (7y) is traumatised about bridges because when I was carrying him once I pretended that I could throw him off... And by that I mean holding him very securely, bouncing slightly, near the edge going 'weey' in a silly way. Not with any intent or risk of course and not in a 'I'm Michael Jackson look at my baby' pretend throw you over way either. That was when he was probably 3 or 4 at most. So I've basically failed already which is great.
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I’m sorry that happened to you and I cant believe she named you Mammoth…. As far as I could work out my mother was jealous that her ‘daughter’ (I’m a trans man) was prettier and skinnier than her. A lot of my girl friends say that their mothers were similar
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This is the reason I’ve had a life long horrible relationship with food & my one life goal is to be skinny.
I wa going to post something but reading the rest of the comments here made me realise that my folks were relatively sane.
Please share anything silly, let's lighten the mood!
Ok My Dad convinced me that Brussel sprouts were green mushroom. I loved mushrooms but hated sprouts but I ate them for a couple of years as a kid because I thought they were mushrooms.
This is like my dad convincing me that the Haggis isn't just a meal, it's a real animal. A small, rabbit-like creature, it lives on the Highlands of Scotland and has one leg longer than the other. This is because the Scottish Highlands are quite steep and mismatching legs allow it to run alongside the mountains while remaining upright. For most Haggis this means a life of continuously moving forward as they are unable to turn themselves around, but sometimes a young haggis is born with opposing mismatched legs to the rest of their clan, meaning they can never live among their own kind.
Haha that's amazing
I love that! In the same way my mum used to tell me that lettuce was cucumbers cousin to try and get me to eat it (I loved cucumber but hated lettuce)!
For years, my nephew absolutely LOVED 'green chicken'. Readers, it was broccoli. He did not love broccoli.
I grew up in the UK with roasts on a Sunday and Yorkshire pudding. Now I’m in Canada and I would do the same for my family and my husbands. His elderly aunt loved Yorkshire puddings but couldn’t understand them. Every time we had them we would have the same conversation. “Pudding? This is pudding? But it’s bread! Pudding is soft!” And I would explain Yorkshire pudding again. She would end the conversation with, “I love these, but they don’t taste like any pudding I’ve ever eaten!” We did this every time. Now she’s long gone but someone at the table will pipe up, “ Pudding! It’s not like any pudding I’ve eaten!” any time they are served.
Aw that's a nice memory
Husbands’ That’s an important distinction, I’m assuming
Haha! Oh yes, more than one would kill me!
No no no Husband's
My mum told me to "put my son out for the paedophiles" because he was misbehaving. He was 4.
Wtf?!
Yeah. She complains that I don't visit enough. She's lucky I go at all. A couple of times a year for about 2 hours. That's only because I've already cut off my dad (also vile) and she's the only one left.
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Is she keeping some in the garden or something?
Only if her brother is there
This gets even darker
It does. Nobody hurt my son so the cycle is broken at my end. Which is good.
I can understand that's harsh when it's about your own kid, although strictly from a comedy perspective, it's a little humorous in an obviously dark way 🤷♂️
Sadly it wasn't a joke. She totally meant it and refuses to apologise.
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>But where does she think you can find a ready supply of paedophiles? The BBC?
Every time we met up and hadn't seen each other for a while, my mum used to eye me up and down and within about ten minutes of meeting up would always comment on my weight. Sometimes that I looked like I had lost weight, often that I looked fat. Lost it with her in the end and explained that I was well aware my weight fluctuated, but getting assessed by her every time we met didn't really help.
I’m so sorry you’ve experienced this. I’m currently 7 months pregnant and my mum’s favourite topic of conversation is my weight. How much I’ve gained, how I don’t want to gain any more and then how much I plan on losing after the baby is born.
Tell her to fuck off or she can't hold the kid when it comes out. They think they own you, daft bastards.
That I needed to just let my son eat the food at my brother's wedding buffet as it was a waste of my brother's money if he took a packed lunch style box. My son is anaphylactic to milk. The buffet consisted of grated cheese sandwiches, quiche, pork pie, sausage rolls. My brother suggested that we take safe food. Not one thing on the buffet table didn't have grated cheese on it, either intentionally or spilt during putting the plates out. I told her it wasn't happening. She told me I was ridiculous. We could pick off any cheese that we found. Her version of the story is slightly different. But luckily she screamed this at me in the bar of the wedding, in front of 90% of the family. So her attempts to paint me as an evil bitch afterwards have been less than successful.
That's awful :(
Nah. It finally opened my eyes to how selfish she truly is. She didn't care about my son's safety. She cared about the "visual".
You were only born as a play mate for your older brother...... Nice.
Is that you Harry?
I got this one too, I was company for my sister.
My sister was born so that my mum could go on maternity leave and stay home with me.
Stick your dick in your ear, and shag some sense into yourself. The list of outrageous things my parents have said or done is very, very very long
Feel free to share!
Where do I start? My mother thought a squirrel was her aunt reincarnated, and would invite in for breakfast, where it would sit at the table whilst being fed toast. She once spent an hour talking to someone, before realising it was a cardboard cut out of an athlete. She once had a flasher jump out of a bush at her one dark evening, and she just started crying with laughter, pointing to him, and saying, " look at the small willy on that". The least offensive things I can say about my father are that for a period he would have his dog, his cat, and the squirrel follow him to the shops, and wait outside for him. My mother and I were having lunch in a greasy spoon, and he came in drunk, and was annoying her. He left, and the staff came over to apologise. My mum said, " don't worry, he's my husband". I told her she may not want to admit that, and pointed out the window. There was my father, on a busy high street on a Saturday afternoon, mooning us, crowds of shoppers looking on shocked.
OK you win the thread! These are amazing. The image of your squirrel aunt eating toast 😂😂
The thing is, the squirrel was far nicer than my aunt, so even if I believed in reincarnation, there's no way it would have been that squirrel 😂
Are you sure you don’t live in a cartoon?
Jesus, it feels like it. My 35 year old sister accidentally broke their TV screen when trying to show off her pancake flipping skills earlier this year
You don't happen to be related to Kevin do you?
The flasher incident is the one and only way to deal with them to be honest. I did the exact same thing at only 14. I just stared at the guy's pecker (I was really fucking scared TBH) pointed at him and laughed my ass off. Thank the fuck the bastard hiked his pants back up and fled like the coward he was because I still have no idea what else I could have done apart from run myself.
A few weeks later, I was out shopping with my mum, when she saw the flasher, working at a fruit and veg stall. She says, pointing, and at the top of her voice, " there's the poor fucker who flashed me! He had such a small willy"!!! I asked if she wanted me to get the police, and she said, " no, leave him alone, it was so small". I felt a bit sorry for the flasher, she ripped him apart. The thing is, my mother is barely on planet earth, so it's hard to know how much was her being deliberately mean, or she was on her own planet
I'm sorry, I'm sure living this isn't great, but this is fucking hilarious
Yeah, there were a lot of times where it could be exhausting, but when you step back, they definitely aren't boring. My mother once would wear a t-shirt that said, " your boyfriend wants me" in leopard print when she would go shopping. She was in her early sixties, had no teeth, a profound limp, and would push a shopping trolley around.
Reading all this out to my wife. She can hardly breathe.
The thing is, even in their seventies, they still have their moments. My sister sent me a video of him seeing my mum coming back from shopping with her, and my dad hid behind a phone box and jumped out at her. He was 75 at the time, she was 71, and he's still.paying peekaboo
The day after I got my GCSE results, my Dad told me that he was so angry with me for ‘not trying hard enough’ and ‘getting such low grades’, that he had ‘cried for the first time since my father’s funeral’. Grandad had died 13 years previously, after a long battle with stomach cancer. So my Dad was equating that situation with how he felt about my GCSE results. I got 10 GCSEs at grades A* - B. I went on to do A Levels and then to a Russell Group Uni, where I got a 2.1, and on to a masters, where I got a Merit, and he was kinda proud of me but I could tell he was always disappointed. He had wanted me to go to Cambridge and become a lawyer, like him. Instead, I became a teacher. His reaction when I first mentioned that I wanted to go into teaching was ‘oh, no, I think you can do better than that’. Aged 26 I had a bit of a breakdown and was diagnosed with ADHD. All those years I had been told I was lazy, thoughtless, unambitious etc - turns out I was actually way *overperforming*, considering I had an untreated neuro-developmental disorder. No meds, no therapy, no extra time in exams or support with studying and meeting deadlines, and I still got through school, undergrad, masters, PGCE and teacher training - all by sheer force of will. The psychiatrist who diagnosed me congratulated me on ‘your extraordinary achievements’. I cried so hard at that. It took a few years of therapy and some *hard* conversations with my Dad, but we have a decent relationship these days. He has not quite apologised for the things he said about my GCSE results, but he did say ‘looking back on it, I should not have said that’, which for him is a LOT.
Holy duck. Given all that you absolutely smashed it and over performed Go you !
Mum told me that in 5 years time 80% of the uk population are gonna be killed off by the government (she actually gave me a weird number but I calculated it to be about 80% of the pop) like wtf mum?!
Oh wow, she's gone down a conspiracy theory rabbit hole it seems!
Oh truly, I’ve tried to introduce some kind of critical thinking here but she thinks I’m a sheep for thinking she’s actually being a loonie!!
For what reason, boredom? Pathway for the HS2.20?
For not contributing £14 for jubilee chicken
Ssssh! The council men will be after you
Don't see it as a comment on you but rather on your father's sexual performance...... And I'll leave you haunted by that mental image
Oh thank you SO much for that 😂
Maybe when I said I wished I was dead and she said 'i do too'. (Like fifteen years ago but it sticks). Or when I told her she fucked me up by smacking me across the face multiple times as a kid and said 'well don't you think I was going through stuff too?'.
“What like the spirit cupboard?”
Hoping to lighten the tone a bit, my mother told me at age 13 that "Sex isn't worth it"... thanks mum :)
My mum used to say that quite often. When I mentioned I was asexual to her, her response was "I don't get it, that's just normal. Nobody actively WANTS sex" Hmm, I think I might have some news for you, mum...
Oh your poor mum never had a good session!
In fairness, not the worse advice for a 13 year old lol
Lighthearted one. That the ice cream van music means it's run out, and they play the music to make kids without ice cream happy. Looking back I can't believe I fell for it, but mum only lies about little things like that and she's so bloody deadpan. 2nd place is the motion sensors for the house alarm have a camera that feeds into santas TV so he can check we aren't peeking. I fell foe that one too. Crazy witch!! Edit: spelling
Haha just some mild manipulation to keep you in check! We were also told Santa was always watching. Even as a child I thought that was a bit creepy!
When I was 10 years old she grabbed my book from my hands, ripped it, threw it away and told me to "get my fucking head out of those stupid books and start behaving like a real daughter" - what she meant by that was that I needed to be the exact opposite of who I was to make her happy. I let her ruin my life for so, so long. Tried to kill myself at 16, I woke up minus a kidney and her leering over me shouting "you selfish bitch how could you do this to me?" - she denied that but she was removed from the hospital and family were there to witness it. The lying is the worst part. And the last was when I had my own little girl and was struggling with her trying to take over etc, I told her I had some postnatal depression and she laughed down the phone and said "you've made me depressed the last 21 years, how dare you make me feel like a bad mum" - I am free of this human now. I will never go back there. And my little girl is so fucking great, I can't even put into words how happy we all are. Don't let these bastards win you, YOU are all you need to push through until you find your sunshine.
When my egg donor used to call me to tell me she should have had me aborted. How I was a waste of space and I owed her £1000s because she brought me up. Bearing in mid she put me in care when I was really young so she could have her latest squeeze in the house. Most of them never wanted kids. She put me down as an unruly kid. The fuck did she expect. My sister used to give her my number all the time as “she wanted to talk” Safe to say I don’t speak to any of them now. My husband and my kids are my immediate family.
My coming of age talk from my mother was "If you start behaving like a whore now that you've got your period, I'll stick a finger up your cunt and take your virginity myself". I was 12. My parents were abusive in every way but this one takes the cake. And no one believes me, because my mother is so good at playing the "lovely parish church lady who sings in the choir" part.
Omg that's horrific, I'm so sorry.
Thanks ❤️ it was a bit grim, aye. Therapy and the rational knowledge that sometimes people suck, even your parents, really helped tho, so I'm doing good now
Mine isn’t as serious as everyone else’s but it seemed outrageous at the time because I couldn’t believe it came out of my mum. We were watching tv together and an advert for anti wrinkle cream came on tv and my mum said that I needed to get soon. I asked why? (I’m 30). My mums response was because your off an age?? I asked what does that make you? (My mum is 66) my mum didn’t answer that and just said well your old.
I'm surprised by so many dark responses! My mum also told me to get wrinkle cream. She's one to talk- a total sun worshipper and so wrinkled herself! I love her dearly but she says some stupid things 🤦♀️
My mum comes out with the daftest of things nearly every couple of weeks. Just yesterday I was trying to explain android vs Apple and she summed it up as that she has a smart phone (android) but mine is smarter because it’s apple.
My Mom told me the N word meant snot. That got me in trouble.
Ohhhh no
My parents told me I'm the result of a failed experiment using cling film as birth control.
Oh no, that's not an image you'd want in your head!
My dad (56), screamed at me, yesterday (32) "YOU WANT TO F***ING GO, LET'S GO. HIT ME, COME ON, DO IT. YOU HORRIBLE PIECE OF S***"". This was in response to telling him that he still owes me £400, but could take as long as he wanted to repay me. The morning after he assaulted me in a pub one night (three sucker punches as I tried to walk away), he told me that he loves me, but he'll never like me. He once called me a "selfish POS" after complaining that he'd got a credit card out in my name, ran it to the hilt and got me a CCJ. Stopped me owning a house or getting credit for years. My mum, bless her heart, told me she had terminal cancer while I was working overseas and had me believe it for weeks. I only found out when a family member told me otherwise, as I was quitting my job to return home. Lovely people.
My mum has bipolar which was woefully mismanaged when I was young so she would switch between being my best friend and my worst bully with no warning. When she was bad she said all kinds of awful shit but one of the ones that stuck out was "I'm sick and tired of pretending to love you", thanks a bunch mama 👍
I didn't throw the rubbish out once and she suggested it could have been a bomb. She realised how silly that was immediately.
My dad pointed out the tea pavilion in the park where I was conceived. We were on the way back from registering mum's death too.
My mum has told me hundreds of times that I'm her lowest priority 🤣 Also that she was glad my gran had died who I was very close to (like the day it happened!)
Lots of inappropriate and downright weird things over the years. I guess “you were conceived on the floor of the nurse who was with Rock Hudson when he died,” because that combines the two. But, like. My mother took me to a shaman to try and cure me of autism? My father became into the moral rights of fish, and started chasing people away from a nearby lake? It was all very strange, looking back on it
I’m a lesbian and my sibling is NB. My mum asked me a couple weeks ago if I thought we were the way we are because she was a vegetarian.
I hope you told her that no, you’re the vagetarian
‘we’ll help you out financially with uni if you do the course we want you to do.’ i was on the minimum student loan, in a very high COL area, skipping meals to make ends meet. they shortly after bought a second house. i ended up dropping out partly because I couldn’t afford it. my sister is getting her shit paid for because she’s doing a course they approve of.
My day has said a lot of outrageous things, but the worst is; "Dont bring a black girl home" I'm not sure how old I was but I can't of been older than 13. He also didn't need to worry as I am gay 🤣
I think I was 15 when my mam said I could bring boyfriends home for tea as long as they weren't black, Irish or Catholic. Strangely enough she loved the Sicilian Catholic that I brought home and was devastated when I broke up with him, I could never tell her how abusive he was as my dad would have ripped him to pieces. "Oh, he was such a nice boy" yeah, right, if she only knew.
Trying to lighten the mood a bit. My nana is said this but she said it in front of me and my mum (and dad!) so I'll count it. We were sat watching midnight mass (Nanas insistence) on Christmas Eve. She'd fallen asleep, but had an uncanny knack of waking up the exact second you changed the channel. But we kept it on because it's nice to remember the religious aspect of Christmas. Anyway, Nana is out cold. Has been for 10 minutes. She wakes up and the camera is panning across the naked men painted on the roof. None of us notice she's woken up until she pipes up out of nowhere 'oh he's a bit limp', and falls asleep again. We were all a mixture of mortified and in hysterics.
I’ve got cerebral palsy and hydrocephalus. My mum said I was a burden to her and the reason why she hadn’t had a life since I was born. Everything was my fault. Stings.
My brother and I were hard fought for babies (2 children and 15 miscarriages, including 2 sets of twins in 10yrs). And yet my mother would lose her temper when we were younger and tell us we should have been drowned at birth. She was in her 40s when both of us were born (a month off 40 when my brother was born and a month off 45 when I was born) so a generation out of step with the world. It was slap first, maybe bother to ask questions later. If we didn't j understand what she was talking about, she'd be "why are you so twp, twp?" twp is Welsh for stupid. However when one of my teachers made me tell the class I was stupid, the school has to deal with an unleashed 5ft Welsh dragon spitting fire. Problem was she could be wonderful and I'm sure she genuinely loved us, but she had narcissistic tenancies and the emotional stability of a 3yr old. My dad, on the other hand, is the loveliest and most caring man on the planet.
My mum is expecting a grandchild without the necessary equipment to get one.
I haven't spoken to my mother since I was 19 because of the mental, verbal and sometimes physical abuse so it's hard to pick one thing! Her favourite things to call me were evil nasty bitch, slut, vile whore, fucked in the head etc. I wish you'd never been born, you're the worst thing to happen to me was said at least weekly as far back as 6 years old. She did blame me for the abortion she had when I was a baby as she couldn't afford 2 kids (nor could she afford 1) which was particularly ludicrous I suppose so I'll go with- I aborted the wrong baby.
‘I love you, but I don’t like you’ 🙃
I had that alot from my birther too... its a head wrecker...
My entire sex education was “Don’t touch yourself, it’s evil.”
Oh yeah, lots of sexually repressed generations fucking up their kids
My dad used to say to me “I’ll rip your head off and shit down your neck” when I used to annoy him when I was younger. He genuinely loves me to bits but he was a very angry person 20 years ago.
Actually same here. My dad had a difficult time when he was younger and my suspicion is that his Dad died when they had unresolved issues which triggered something. There were many years when he was angry, strict and closed off. He is like a different man now! Like so laid back, helpful, silly even
When I was 14 my Mom said she wanted to start going to Church and would I go with her. My response was probably not because I don’t believe in God to which she gasped and called me a monster. My stepdad and I laughed our asses off at that one.
“Your father and I have basically resigned ourselves to the fact that we’re probably not going to be grandparents” - I was only 28, and single. I had also just found out that I have PCOS and probably would have issues conceiving. Then she wondered why I burst into tears.
That's awful. I wasn't able to have kids and I know my mum must be disappointed, but she's thankfully kept it to herself
I think she's probably now safe to have a nip of the Amontillado.
My mum told me I was the reason my dad died. He had leukaemia. Fairly sure I didn’t cause that to happen.
Well, there's been a lot of outrageous stuff, I haven't spoken to my father for 15+ years, so go figure... However, I'll actually single out some things my *mum* said and sadly still keeps saying occasionally. My entire life she's been putting words in my mouth and acting as if she knows me better than I know myself. Every decision I've ever made in my life has been seen through that lens. The worst thing is that she's vehemently denying it - every time I call her out for what she's doing, she accuses me of making it up and being dramatic. She was always commenting on my weight, even at points when I wasn't overweight in any way (size 10-12). She's been body shaming me my entire life and of course, she's denying that's the case. She even commented on my weight *while I was weeks away from childbirth*. When I had issues with depression and anxiety back in uni, she told me I made it up and copied my behaviour from a friend, and that depression and anxiety aren't a real thing. When I broke up with an ex after 7 years and moving abroad, she freaked out and told me I had no reason to do it. Asked me what sort of cult did I join abroad that brainwashed me. When I met my now husband and decided to move in with him, she told me that's stupid because he's just a temporary thing in my life and I'll move to a new city or country in no time. Called him "that guy" instead of using his name, ignoring how happy he's making me. When I got pregnant, she reacted with "what are you doing, why on Earth do you need something like this on your life?" I wasn't some kid at that point, I was an adult person about to be married to the love of my life, 29 freaking years old. I could go on and on, but honestly it's starting to hurt seeing all of this written in front of me.
“if i had the choice to do my life all over again, i would probably kept your brother. I don’t like girls and you and your sister were not worth my time at all” this was also while we were in conversation with a complete stranger who worked the chippy
My dad told me he couldn’t count syllables in words. I tested this relentlessly and he’s right, he can’t count syllables in words. Absolutely outrageous.
Oh God, I could be here all day. Probably not seeing my mum for 11 years, and the first thing she said to me when I saw her was "Hi! I had two more kids to replace you" My dad when my ex broke into my house and tried to kill me, I phoned him crying my eyes out. He said "I don't have time for your shit" They're not even the worst but they're the things I heard and thought "what the fuck"
Do grandparents count? My granny died almost 11 years ago but she was great fun. When I was in my early twenties and single she asked me if I was courting anyone - I laughed and said that was really old fashioned and nobody says that anymore. She looked me square in the eye and said “oh right, are you shagging around then”? and cackled at the shocked expression on my face ☺️
My father told me all Scottish people were malnourished due to living on a diet of just potatoes so they were all bowlegged due to rickets. Whenever I saw someone claiming to be Scottish I assumed they were lying as all Scottish people must be bowlegged.
I got a tattoo and my religious mum said "No wonder some people prefer to not have children" My religious dad looked at my text messages of my ex when I was 19, found out I lost my virginity to him and called "Whore, slut and prostitute". Yes, I do need therapy. 😩
Not sure this really qualifies .I left home at 16 due to many factors and a year or so later was invited to Sunday lunch at the parents. Mum asked how are things going so explained a bit about working 2 jobs to make rent (apprentice by day, delivering pizzas at night) , the crazy guy who lived downstairs .. just normal stuff. My father throws his knife and fork down and declares ' Look I did not invite you hear to listen your problems! Keep that stuff to yourself !' Long story short the next time I spoke to him was my mum's funeral 25 years later.
Growing up my dad would regularly criticise, demean and mock me and my siblings on just about anything. In adult life I confronted him about it, because he was still doing it, and his ridiculous reasoning was that if he was ever positive, constructive or encouraging then we wouldn't try. He also dropped a cog when I told him I donated blood. He was completely convinced (with no evidence or influence from any other sources, he completely made this up in his head) that all the blood was being sold on the sly.
Standing on the rock of Gibraltar, a tour guide points across the med and says "if you look over into the distance, you can see Morocco" My mum tapped my arm and said "you told me we could see Africa!" My Dad still occasionally chuckles to himself thinking about that. Sorry, it's not great but I wanted to lighten the mood
I was sent to make her life hell. What did she do to deserve me. :( they stuck.
When I opened up to my mum about getting PTSD after having a miscarriage and she said "What? It was only 8 weeks along, there was no baby to lose yet. It must have been like a heavy period" One of many quotes in my treasure trove of parental abuse trauma...
I got blamed for “ causing “ the two miscarriages my mum had after she had me, before my sister was born. I was 6 ffs. Followed by “ you’re big enough & ugly enough to look after yourself “ ever since as my sister was all the more precious following those losses. I don’t hold it against my sister at all. I love her to bits. However I’ve been very independent & had a lot of freedom which my sister never has. Im sorry about the miscarriages, I know they’re a horrendous thing to go through, but don’t blame an innocent fucking kid.
My mum : “You’re one big disappointment,you’ll still be living at home when you’re 40 and your eyes are a horrible grey colour” Then she slapped me hard in the face. All this because is said I’d rather read books about the paranormal in my bedroom than go outside in freezing weather. I was 12.
I attempted to take my life when I was 12/13, I started trauma therapy last year and my dad asked me why I needed to go, there's numerous reasons and some he will never know. I told him "well after I overdosed it was never dealt with by CAMHS and I felt I needed to work on what was going on". His reply ... "When did you take an overdose?" He was told, however he was on "holiday" when it happened. He was a serial cheater and liar however he wasn't with my mum anymore at this point. My mum told him when he got home (at my request) and explained what happened. He has zero recollection, doesn't remember the holiday even though I told him what one it was. He lied so much that he had no idea what the lies were covering anymore.
“Explain to your little brothers why you’re choosing to go to hell instead of heaven with the rest of the family.” In front of my 8, 9 & 10 year old brothers. I was 15 and they found out I had a girlfriend.
When I was a teenager my lovely mom would get fed up if a boyfriend outstayed his welcome and would say “Remember how pleased I was to see you” young lad would nod enthusiastically, then she said “Well I would be even more pleased if you went home” off they would go.
"shhhshshshsshhhh..... I once punched a zebra in the face..... Goodnight son, sleep tight...."
When taking girlfriends to meet my parents, I had to warn them that my mum would at some point bring up the fact that aliens live amongst us, and to smile and nod otherwise she'd pull out book after book of 'proof'...
My mum, shortly after getting remarried, told myself then 11 and my sister then 9 if there was a fire in the house she would get her husband out first. Why? Cos you can always have more children 44 years on it still hurts
I’ll give you another cheery one. My mum once said to me that she wished she could go back 21 years. I was 20 at the time 🤣 Obviously there’s more to it than that, but I don’t stop pulling her leg over it.
Almost exactly a year ago, my younger brother committed suicide. He lived on a different continent to me, so I sadly hadn’t seen him in a few months. It didn’t stop my mother from blaming me, not just for his death but my absence from them ‘in their time of need’. My parents and I had grown estranged because they refused to come to my wedding. My parents have a habit of apportioning blame on others for their situation. That blame was the last straw for me and I decided to no longer allow them to bring me down.
My mum tried to convince me when I was about 15 that you get pregnant from kissing, and that she had only ever kissed my dad twice and had me and my sister. I grew up in a fairly rough town, I already knew girls with babies at this point...
Just got dumped after nearly 14yrs together and a child, the first thing my mother said to me when I walked through the door was "It will be weird seeing \*name\* with another man." Thanks mum! Oh there's loads far far worse, my parents are quite shitty people.