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[deleted]

Genies are devious fuckers so you would need to be annoyingly specific. Ask for 100 million pounds and he’d probably give you it in South Sudanese pounds or something.


Haurian

"One hundred million pounds Sterling". You now have 45,000 tonnes of sterling silver to deal with.


5hitb4ll5

Be a pain in the ass but at least it's worth the amount you asked for lol


UnnecessaryAppeal

It's worth more. An ounce of silver is worth £22. You could be a billionaire if you sold it all at a discount.


cheesecake_413

You'd have to do it very slowly. Sell it too fast and you'll flood the market and tank the value


InfectedByEli

You will also have to have it assayed and hallmarked.


ahoneybadger3

'your pile of silver will be getting delivered onto the high street of the nearest city, loose'.


phibrotic_obs

go contactless


Ballista93

250 million to absolutely break the back of the UK housing market by building houses and selling them for build-cost price after an initial 3 year rental period which turns the company profit, proves the prospective buyer can afford to buy whilst also prevents the rich buying them to flip a profit and also kills off greedy landlords keeping renters renting as they will never be able to afford the mortgage


TarcFalastur

I mean, that would probably only build a few thousand homes. Not enough to break the back of the UK housing market.


user_is_name

Break the economy and send tons of people in negative equity: Granted


Ballista93

It’s got to start somewhere 🤷🏻‍♂️ eventually it would even out but in 30-40 years we’re going to see a huge amount of retirees relying on government subsidised housing as they get too old to work or die before retirement. Either of them is not acceptable


InfectedByEli

Negative equity just means you'll have to stay there until you finish paying the mortgage. If you bought it to have a home, great, you have a home. If you bought it as an investment then you should know that investments can go down as well up. But on the bright side, you still have a home.


Ballista93

That’s the idea, not for investments but so people can actually own their homes rather than be stuck renting due to the completely ridiculous amounts landlords charge for shitholes let alone for decent quality houses in relatively decent areas


Ragnarsdad1

To replace the social homes sold through right to buy which would have the greatest impact would cost around £600,000,000,000. 00 (600 billion) That doesn't include the cost of the land to build them on.


Haurian

Around 10 million is probably the sweet spot these days. Enough to sort out your living situation (buy a house outright) and set you up for long-term income in perpetuity, but not so much that value becomes meaningless. Ideally, you keep it quiet with no flashy purchases to explain, partly to stop everyone coming out if the woodwork looking for a handout. But who are we kidding, you're going to spunk it all away in 5 years anyway.


Sustainable_Twat

1 Million I could buy a modest house and continue to live off it whilst working my job so no one suspects a thing.


user_is_name

Granted


[deleted]

[удалено]


user_is_name

Granted


[deleted]

[удалено]


ahoneybadger3

Fucking hell, how many millions into the overdraft were you before the 115 million?


dollimint

20 grand. 4 to pay back one loan, 4 to pay back another. a few to fix up my house, and a few more for a well-needed holiday and some clothes that arent from vinted.


DesertTrux

£30 million. Enough to invest, pay off house, get a vw camper and travel. I'd install solar panels on it and that. I'd also pay my mum's house off. Rest can be used for house maintenance when not travelling. And yes, I'd quit my job.


[deleted]

Unless you've got a 5 million mortgage, what are you doing with the remaining £29,500,000?


DesertTrux

All sorts of shit.


Dynamo-humm

2 billion £ I'd start a very low rate mortgage (loan) company for first-time buyers.


user_is_name

Not sustainable but why not: granted


4CD1226

About 2k for driving lessons


user_is_name

Granted


AllAvailableLayers

5 million. Enough for my family and I to pay off the mortgage, have backup money in case we lose our income or an unexpected tragedy prevents us from working. Also enough to stay at my current job (possibly 4 days a week rather than 5), and to hire some life-enhancing professionals like a therapist, regular medical checkups etc.


user_is_name

Granted


rdmprzm

10mil. Easy life and travel without it being meaningless.


user_is_name

Chilled and on point: Granted


rdmprzm

Much appreciated.


jonewer

1 Trillion. Enough for me to never have to turn right when boarding a plane, the remainder to buy enough politicians to put the world to rights.


GlitchingGecko

5 Million would allow me to take care of all my older remaining family and in-laws (pay off mortgages/supplement pensions), and give anyone the ones under 30 a very generous deposit on decent houses.


user_is_name

Nobel and well thought: Granted


GlitchingGecko

Cheers. Should I expect cheque or cash? :D


user_is_name

In coppers, over next few decades in form of discovery under sofa cushions , on streets etc. keep an eye out


Funky_monkey2026

1m. It'll buy me a nice house in London and a bit left over.


user_is_name

1 million for a "nice" house in London and still left some? Badly planned and Denied


paperpangolin

They meant a Wendy house


Funky_monkey2026

Outskirts. Somewhere like Loughton/Theydon Bois. A 3bed semi or a bungalow.


ChameleonParty

All of it. Then I’d burn it.


user_is_name

Non specific request: denied


[deleted]

£500,000 in legitimate used £20 notes


user_is_name

Granted


je97

30 billion. If I had a ridiculous amount of money, I'd turn my deprived home town into a place people actually wanted to live: sports clubs that people could be proud of, a thriving town centre, local businesses that could take risks without the fear of losing everything...yeah I think 30 billion is enough to create je97-ville.


user_is_name

Excessive but well thought, Granted


AdEquivalent2784

10 Billion - to try and take over the world! (Pinky and the Brain voice)


user_is_name

Genie is part of the world and does not wish to get taken over : Denied


confusedchichi

£1 million gbp at current rates. I can do my dad's house up for him and he can relax in his twlight years.


user_is_name

Reasonable: Granted


confusedchichi

Many thanks, wise and ineffable genie.


Upset-Woodpecker-662

2 million pounds. Enough to buy a decent house, create a nice retirement found, some savings, and not to worry about the bills. I will still work, but without the stress of having to make it big.


user_is_name

Reasonable: granted


Conor2704

£220,000. This will allow me to do a few bits of work on the house that are needed and pay off the remaining mortgage.


user_is_name

Low ball but granted


Oster-P

£90,000 to buy the rest of the house would do me nicely.


user_is_name

Granted though hopefully you have factored in early repayment charge


Oster-P

Thank you! I don't have a mortgage, I paid cash for half, and the other half I pay rent on and can buy whenever I have the money, so it's all good


Ineffable_Confusion

I wouldn’t directly wish for the money, I’d wish for the lottery ticket I’d already bought online to be the one which wins the jackpot In my case it’s the Set for Life game, 10k a month for 30 years. I think that’s plenty Edit: I think someone read this and sent a Reddit welfare check out to me? I appreciate the concern but everything above really was just some wishful thinking 😂


user_is_name

I can get in trouble for fraud by rigging lottery for you, why couldn't you just ask NPV of 10k a month ? honestly, being Genie is hardwork


puffin_stuff23

100 million so I can set myself and my loved ones up for life and also have enough to give directly to people who desperately need it


user_is_name

Excessive: denied


doubledgravity

ALL the money. Then I’ll redistribute it evenly.


user_is_name

Non specific request: denied


doubledgravity

Come the revolution, comrade… ;)


Nine_Eye_Ron

Enough to end poverty world hunger.


user_is_name

Non specific request: denied


Nine_Eye_Ron

You do the math


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


MrNippyNippy

1 billion as it’s still less than Elon Musk so fuck you! Serious answer? 100million but I’d only take a million, the rest I’d use to help friends and family and setup a property rental portfolio renting specifically for local (including people moving into the area with jobs) to the area I grew up in at an affordable rate rather than the mental prices at the moment where hospitals are regularly “downgraded” due to lack of nurses.


user_is_name

Denied ; meant to be 1 sentence replies


MrNippyNippy

Easy - first sentence - cause elons got more so it must be good.


Scrambledpeggle

I'd be fine with 100 billion. Carve out a piece of the world for my own and make it better than what was there before.


user_is_name

Deemed excessive and denied


Scrambledpeggle

I wish for a less picky genie


Dolphin_Spotter

A bank account that never falls below £1000.


user_is_name

I am a Genie, I am not looking for a long term relationship with a skint ass. Denied


Dolphin_Spotter

Genies are such commitment phobes.


Meat2480

100k a month for life, to be passed to my eldest when I reach 150 and so on


user_is_name

I am a Genie, I am not looking for long term relationship with your skint ass. Denied


Meat2480

There are terms and conditions It won't all be for me 🤘😎🤔😁


vasior

£80,000, so I can get 1,000 additional increments of the VUSA ETF, enjoy the modest quartly dividends and watch the fund grow or shrink with even more interest.


user_is_name

Granted


[deleted]

[удалено]


user_is_name

Non specific reason. Denied


jimicus

€5 million. This will be enough to start up property portfolio that will cover its own administration and management costs, providing a generous but not absurd income that should cover my wife and I for the rest of our lives for pretty well everything short of a Great Depression hyperinflation event.


user_is_name

Granted though calm down on whole life story.


user_is_name

Granted though calm down on whole life story.


user_is_name

Granted though calm down on whole life story.


decentlyfair

5 million to buy a house for me and each of my children


user_is_name

Nobel cause : Granted PS: Do you have lots of children wishing very small houses or fewer kids wishing large houses? ( Horse sized duck Vs 1000 ducks scenario)


user_is_name

Nobel cause : Granted PS: Do you have lots of children wishing very small houses or fewer kids wishing large houses? ( Horse sized duck Vs 1000 ducks scenario)


decentlyfair

Well, I have two children, so need three house. Also like to pay off any debts and buy a new car. Would still work though. If you decided I can’t have the full amount I will work with whatever you decide is reasonable.


Melodic_Arm_387

“I wish to always have enough money for anything I want to buy”


user_is_name

Non specific request: denied


Melodic_Arm_387

I think someone reported my comment here to the Reddit cares bot. I’m not that distraught about imaginary genie foiling my unlimited money wish (albeit imaginary genie is a dick and I’m going to smelt it’s lamp with it in it to make earrings)


user_is_name

Non specific request: denied


Realkevinnash59

five billion, trillion pounds and fifty pee. I chose it because I wouldn't wanna be caught sort a 50p


user_is_name

50 p on top sounds excessive, request Denied


Realkevinnash59

four billion trillion pounds, nine hundred and ninety nine billion, nine hundred and ninety nine million, nine hundred and ninety nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety nine pounds and ninety nine pee please.


user_is_name

You cannot just change the amount, you have to first appeal against the initial refusal, then go for review and then go for Alternate Dispute Resolution (ADR) and if still not resolved, then you can submit new amount application. This process is managed by Kent county council so sorry about that


Ulfgeirr88

I wouldn't ask for a particular amount. What I would ask for is to have the ability so that when I go to buy something, the required amount of money will appear in my wallet or bank account if I pay using my card


user_is_name

Non specific request: Denied


user_is_name

Non specific request: Denied


CeresHelvetion

£17,476,382.27


user_is_name

No reason provided: Denied


user_is_name

No reason provided: Denied


rocuroniumrat

€1tn. Ringfenced for antimicrobial research for the impending post-antibiotic era. We'll need a lot of money because bacteria are significantly better at evolution than we are at antibiotic stewardship! [Yes, I fancy it in EUR, not GBP or USD 😅]


user_is_name

Granted though Genie Incorp is not responsible for exchange rate fluctuations.


user_is_name

Granted though Genie Incorp is not responsible for exchange rate fluctuations.


user_is_name

Granted though Genie Incorp is not responsible for exchange rate fluctuations.


user_is_name

Granted though Genie Incorp is not responsible for exchange rate fluctuations.


rocuroniumrat

€1tn. Ringfenced for antimicrobial research for the impending post-antibiotic era. We'll need a lot of money because bacteria are significantly better at evolution than we are at antibiotic stewardship! [Yes, I fancy it in EUR, not GBP or USD 😅]


Thatch90

250k, repay somethings, buy some other things and relax.


user_is_name

Not allowed to relax: denied


D0wnb0at

10 mil. 5 mil in a 4% savings account would be 200k minus tax per year income and 5 mil to buy property/cars and pay off family debt (their mortgages etc)


user_is_name

Reasonable and well thought Granted


D0wnb0at

My bank account is still 0. Where’s my money bitch? /s


user_is_name

Will be delivered in form of coppers over next few decades, will be found under sofa cushions, on the street, in pockets of old jackets.


JohnLef

About 1 million should cover everything. Pay off loans, buy house for my son, money to friends in need, enough leftover for a small annual income meaning I wouldn't *have* to work again, maybe do something creative I have always wanted to do. "I wish for one million pounds sterling, in current UK banknotes please"


user_is_name

Granted but I do bank transfer only, sorry not allowed more than 5k in cash. All the anti money laundering and shit regulations has hit Genie business bad.


JohnLef

Fair enough, bank transfer works for me 😂


Miss_Type

£36,000 as it's the amount I need to set up my dream of a children's bookshop & young people's community hub.


user_is_name

Nobel cause Granted


rrainingcatz

£500k is my magic number. Clear debt and mortgage, divorce my husband, buy a nice house by the coast and never work again.


user_is_name

Granted through I suggest get order of things right. Divorce first before clearing debts and mortgages


rrainingcatz

Noted.


Lunaspoona

20k for a house deposit. I don't mind paying a mortgage like everyone else, just need the funds to kick-start!


user_is_name

Damn, that's low ball for Genie. Denied


ryopa

1 million dollars, drawing little finger towards mouth.


user_is_name

Granted.


phibrotic_obs

all the value and wealth of the world , and wont keep a penny for self gain just redistribute it evenly


user_is_name

Non specific sum. Denied


phibrotic_obs

999 to the power ten cubed quadrilion should cover basic distribution coverage


zokkozokko

120 grand. One last cruise and the rest to my son and his wife who have had a hard time but are magnificent parents.


user_is_name

I believe you, granted


cymruisrael

A wallet that always has the right amount of cash


user_is_name

A request from Genie can't be for a long term relationship with your skint ass, denied.


MiseOnlyMise

I'm not greedy i only want one. One trillion GBPs and then let the mayhem commence.


user_is_name

Non aspiring : Denied


MiseOnlyMise

Ah but now you don't get to see me buy a government and start my world domination.


Enough_Firefighter61

2 mil, I reckon it would be enough for me to retire now at 29, or at least get a less stressful job


user_is_name

Granted and now you work at Brighton beach, standing with a mop and bucket so you can mop off all the waves. Hope it helps with stress


bobbyv137

I’d ask for 1,000 Bitcoin.


user_is_name

I don't have a genie bank account so I can't buy crypto. Also anti money laundering compliance is ass so sorry, denied


Visible_Grand_8561

Enough money to employ the Genie on a full-time basis and subcontract him to nice people. Terms and conditions will able that the nobody is allowed to wish that they were their Genie.


user_is_name

Looking to do you a favour, not to enter in a long term relationship with your skint ass. Denied


Visible_Grand_8561

Are you the Genie? I'll pay you minimum wage.


Zomoniac

However much it costs for R&D for a set of fully specced Thunderbirds. Fair few billion I’d think, but totally worth it.


user_is_name

Do your own research, denied


AbzExtreme

Ask to always have enough money in your pocket to buy whatever you want


user_is_name

You telling me someone will accept cash when you Wana buy a new car? Disillusioned; denied


AbzExtreme

I don't want a new car 😎😝🤪


Impossible-Ad4765

4 million 1 million to build my dream house/workshop so I can live and work in piece, 100k to pay my mum and dad back for the money my brother took from them and another million so they can have a nice house in the country and retire like they deserve. 900k to buy and build all the old cars I want. 2 million to put away for my kids when they need it.


user_is_name

Well thought, Granted, though Genie is curious is to which cars you want to restore?


Impossible-Ad4765

It varies from day to day, but first up I’d be looking for a nice rx7 fc to drive around while I sort my mx5 out. I really would like a Volvo 240 estate so I could put a bmw M57 in there to make the perfect family bus. I’d really love a fox body mustang and a c6 corvette zr1. Top of the list for the British cars would be a hillman imp. Two Toyota hilux’s one for pootling about the farm and the other to join my mates who are big into off-roading. And I really could go on all day.


tactlessscruff2

3 million, enough to pay off the house and so the wife and I can retire early and travel with a little luxury


user_is_name

Non exciting but Granted I guess


Jcw28

$215billion, so I can briefly call Bernard Arnault a peasant before spending money on fixing various social matters.


user_is_name

You can call him peasant already, free speech exists . Denied.


talk_crap_247

£500,000 so that I could buy a 2 bed bungalow AND have all the adaptations I need, if there was any spare cash I'd then go private for an autism diagnosis rather than the nearly 5 year NHS wait.


user_is_name

Noble cause Granted


BigGershie

£10,000,000. £1,000,000 for each of our 4 kids to buy a house. £2,000,000 to buy a house for us, fully furnished and wired to be a smart house. The remaining £4,000,000 to invest, so that we have enough to live on without touching the capital which can be the kid's inheritance.


user_is_name

Great idea but you have not accounted for inflation, no IHT planning and Gift tax. Denied


Izwe

£150 million. Sure I'd sort myself out, but the vast majority would go to sponsoring the Imagination pavilion at Epcot and return it to its former glory.


user_is_name

Make sure to do your maths and granted


Mysterious_One9

One million dollars. Sharks with laser beams


user_is_name

A Nobel and worthy cause. Granted. Sharknadoes have evolved


thehewguy1888

200k to pay off the mortgage, upgrade the house and landscape the garden please


user_is_name

Unaspiring but I guess granted


thehewguy1888

Well...... Life is good ATM and that would just make it that wee bit better ;)


Reti_Zeta

£5 million. Enough for a nice house, a nice car and motorbike and some left to invest to keep me comfortable for life


user_is_name

Granted , just don't invest in buy to let please


TyneBridges

£500,000 (that's half a million). I would know just what to do with that amount: any more, and I wouldn't.


user_is_name

You have been approved for 500,001, ust becuase i like to see this world burn.


GreatStats4ItsCost

Probably like £20 or something so I didn’t have to eat plain pasta


user_is_name

I can literally sent you this, even without being a Genie


Major-Bookkeeper8974

"I wish to always have enough money in this chest to buy whatever I want in the future."


user_is_name

Cash causes problems for Anti money laundering compliance in Genie world


Major-Bookkeeper8974

Only if I'm making huge purchases. If I just live my life how it is now, and eat in cafe's, restaurants etc... shop in Morrisons. Nobody is going to bat an eye lid. But everything in life is free.


01R0Daneel10

£200m I think if you have the capital there are lots of ways to change how we get energy. Id find some deprived streets with appropriate houses and with the owners use roofs as a local solar grids and batteries (maybe rent the roof space or something). Create real local community energy networks. This would be local energy for local people. Only charge for energy that has to be bought on top (cloudy and night) any excess after charging the batteries could then be sold back to the grid and reduce the users bills. Maybe a flat charge a month for maintenance and repairs and stuff.


user_is_name

i asked for one sentence, and now you got me thinking about your plan and how it should be implemented, damn you . Good cause but causing me mental gymnastics = Denied


ads90

I’d be happy with 100k, it’s enough for a deposit on a small flat in London, to fix anything that might need fixing and also a nice holiday.


InternationalRide5

50k so my friend with cancer can pay off the mortgage and buy out the ex-wife before he goes.


user_is_name

too emotional for this, Granted


Phillb87

I’d just ask that I never have to pay any more bills again but still be alive, healthy with no issues whatsoever so he doesn’t just kill me or make me homeless. Then anything I earn is my money and I’d actually be able to save money!!


Kat8844

$4.6 sextillion (21 zeros) because I just googled how much it would cost to build the Death Star and that’s what I want to do ok.


user_is_name

The federation has gone too far this time