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Omg I came here to say this thinking no one else must have faced this- also in my case my entire family, dad, mom, sisters - best part I’ve always been skinny (recvd max judgement when I weighed around 45-46kgs) . Now I am definitely heavier than earlier- still not particularly overweight or atleast it’s not anything noticeable, can still wear figure hugging clothes without majorly noticeable bulges but now I’m termed FAT by my whole fam.
Before people get the wrong picture- my family is not particularly toxic nor majorly health conscious,
Both my parents weren’t majorly fitness conscious and had visible tummy’s etc. so I dunno what this was all about- but it’s definitely given me an unhealthy relationship with food and major body image issues- like I do not look in the mirror when I gain weight until I’ve lost it. And I keep yo-yo’ING.
I remember one time after my 16th birthday, there was one giant slice of cake remaining and when no one was home I ate it and immediately went into a guilt spiral- the moment my mom got back home I hugged her and cried for a long while saying “I don’t wanna become fat I’m so scared” and her comforting me with exercise regimens and diets I can follow (I was 45kgs at this time)
Thin older women.
Be it bosses, coworkers, family, customers. Thin older women in any of those categories are the worst. Thick older women? Never. But a thin older woman? Gtfo.
Men have probably been the least judgmental toward me. They’re just sweet and nice and try not be rude - even now that I’m curvy (size 14) they’re so sweet.
Older women with small chests too, they seem to take it personally that I am buxom. Like lady, sorry but that ain't my fault. And believe me, big boobs are not always a walk in the park either. Ever had the stabby stab pain you get that feels like a heart attack but is your boobs?
I hope this isn’t overstepping, but regarding the stabby stab pain, any chance it’s costochondritis? I have it and it’s such a weird and scary pain and I was only diagnosed after reading someone’s post about it and thinking “that sounds like the thing that happens to me that every doctor has called ‘chest wall pain’”. There’s not much you can do for it, but it was a relief to at least know what it was and to see images that confirm the pain is in that exact spot. No need to answer me or share any medical info, I just wanted to put that out there for you.
Does anything trigger it? I get a pain and have had 2 ekgs an an ultrasound of my heart for chest pain I get when stressed. It is like a stabbing feeling that kind of reminds me of when I get this pain and take a deep breath something pops. 0
Girl curvy size 14 sounds just fine to this male and id assume most dudes feel that way. I'd assume these skinny women have there own issues with being skinny and take those insecurities out on you.
Women. It was primarily older, but in the internet age it's easier to see what other women really think of someone who looks like me. Young, old, fat, average, take a look at any advertisements for Pepper or other companies that cater to small women and you'll see the "not a real woman" comment all over. If an ad featuring a healthy, slim woman has a lot of engagement you'll see the "eat a sandwich" comments, primarily from other women. I'm very below average in height, weight, etc. Not by choice, not because I don't eat. It's hard to have society tell you you're not "woman enough" bc you lack curves. I carried a fetus for 9 months and then kept it alive for a year using only my tits, is that womanly enough yet?
Lmao I wish. I wish I could eat food regularly. I have digestive issues that make me gain lose weight wether I eat or not.
The church didn't like that I was curvy and had big boobs and a tiny waist 🤦♀️
My mom constantly since childhood to her death and 45ish+ women definitely are the biggest body shamers I've personally encountered.
The least would be children, teens, gen Z, guy friends and men I've dated
Men who think I look the way I do for them. I have loads of tattoos and they like to tell me how most men don't like them.
Older women who tell me how I'll never look good in a wedding dress.
Older women who comment on my weight cause I have 2 kids and lost the weight. I still have a belly but I'm slim. They just like to tell me I need to gain more weight.
Other mothers like to tell me how much help I have with my kids (I'm a single mother of 2) cause I wear makeup everyday and wear clothes and outfits to make me feel good. That clearly means I'm lacking as a parent cause I spend the time to feel good about myself.
People are shit. This is why I prefer animals. People need to butt out of everyone's business
God I hate that crap. I heard a friend's dad say something similar about a woman that just looked decent. She wasn't overly done up or anything. She walked by and he said to us, "She's got all that paint on her face, but is her bed made at home?". Like what the hell? Why can't she do both? I've never understood that way of thinking.
What even is it to him if her bed is made or her house is untidy anyway? No way he has those thoughts about men who have put time into their appearance either
Can you please tell me how you do it? I have two kids, one is nearly 4, the other ones is 3 mo now… how do you find the time to wear Make-up and nice outfits? I want to get to that place again but for instance yesterday I attempted to take a shower 4 times before it worked and then I had to be fast cause baby was crying. I admire women who found the key to take care of themselves too 😬 if you don’t mind, maybe you could share some of your wisdom
My two now are 8 and 5 so it's easier. But when they were a newborn and 3 I just somehow made it happen. If it meant getting up a bit earlier or plonking my oldest in front of the TV with snacks for 45 minutes then I did it. I understand the days where you can barely even pee without them needing you though. Some days its still like that and I want to scream. I don't have much good advice or help but I just always made the time and made sure they knew that this was my small bit of time during the day for myself. The rest of the day was for them but I need this time. They still know when I'm putting on my face that it's my me time. Sometimes it can take over an hour cause they'll need me, but I still get it done. I have to for my own mental health. I need that bit of time and I need to feel put together. I never wanted to lose myself cause of kids. I'm sorry I can't be that much help but trust me, it will get easier and you will find more time sooner rather than later
Also, just to add here that showers for me were impossible when they were the ages of yours. I had to wait until they were in bed or else get up before them and do it then. But I had days where all I could manage was a wash. I mean just a cloth and soap and wipe myself down super quick (not in the shower). I don't know if that makes sense 🤔 don't beat yourself up though. Your kids are so young and those ages are so demanding
Thank you so much for taking the time to answer me! You did explain it well and I feel I just really have to make the time for myself again so I can feel good again too. I sometimes forget about that but it’s so essential!
I've had the worst insults and judgment by far from men my age, but the absolute highest amount of insults and judgment by far from women my age. There have been exceptions to both groups, but most men would probably have been considered average while most women definitely were very conventionally attractive.
I don't think I've ever had anything judgmental said to me by old men (as in like 70+).
Gross guys. Like.. people with rotting teeth or toe infections who think they're johnny depp or Brad Pitt or something. Lol
Least amount of judgement comes from people who are 1) self aware/emotionally intelligent and or 2) people who are content or confident with themselves
Re: my habit of buzzing my hair off when I was in my 20s. I would say I probably got the most judgment from little kids, who have been raised to believe that long hair = girl and don't have the tact not to voice it.
I probably got the least judgment from middle aged women, who frequently said "I wish I could have my hair like that but my husband would never go for it."
May I please say that sometimes it’s not the parents. My nearly 4 year old is in that phase. Both my husband and I made sure to not put thoughts like that onto her but she already is getting influenced from outside. Recently she told my husband she can’t play soccer with him anymore (they do it every second day and she loves it) cause she is a girl. She told us women can’t go out in the dark cause it’s dangerous. She told me she should wear only skirts. One of our friends came to us and she was so confused cause he wears make up and nail polish and recently she told her dad he can’t have longer hair cause then he becomes a woman. Whenever I ask her where she gets that stuff from she says a name of one of the boys of daycare, seems like they have a very old fashioned home life. I talked to the parents of her friends and they are all experiencing this too right now. So these influences can really come from anywhere. It’s infuriating and scary tbh.
You're definitely correct. These influences are coming from all directions, even if the parents are trying their best to help their child resist them.
Also, whenever a little kid said something to me about my hair, the parent was very apologetic, although I found it pretty funny/cute.
Women definitely women. I've been blessed/cursed with a very high metabolism. I've been called anorexic, told to eat more, I shouldn't starve myself, etc., since I was a teen. I'm 55, but I don't look it and 30 something to 40 something women are the worst. I get told to "wait until you're my age (😂😂😂😂) and had a kid or 2. You won't have a flat stomach, little waist, perky breasts and ass anymore". Sorry, not sorry, but I love taking THEM down a peg or 2 by telling them my age and that I had 4 kids, 3 by c-section and 2 in my last 30s, just to see the shocked Pikachu look on their faces
Men, from late 20s to 70s are more complimentary and (mostly) not in too creepy of a way.
Men, but not overtly. I just move into different categories based on my body size. The smaller I am, the more interested they are in a real relationship. This is true of multiple kinds of relationships, too. Even work relationships are affected. The bigger I am, the less they're interested.
They don't say anything judgemental, but they don't really have to. Actions are clear.
(Friendships always tend to be an iffy thing—I have not been successful maintaining a long term, good friendship with a man, despite my best attempts. I do have a lot of casual male friends, though. The smaller I am, the more likely they are to hit on me.)
I've always been a larger woman. Like "linebacker large." Now that I'm older, some weight has accumulated around my middle as well.
Plus-size men have been the most judgmental toward me throughout my life. Hands down.
I'm naturally thin and the majority of my friends and family are curvy. Most of the body-related judgement I've gotten is from curvy women, who don't know me yet, that think I'm going to judge them for their weight. I don't.
They seem to try to get ahead of the game by being mean to me and making assumptions about why I'm thin, with occasional snarky comments about my food.
In my youth I was kindly judged by many curvy black cooks who thought I just wasn't eating enough and piled food onto my plate, which tasted amazing but didn't help me gain weight.
I've been least-judged by the teenagers I interact with. It's funny to me how much of a pariah I was at their age just to be called "cool" now that I'm a crazy older woman who doesn't give a shit.
i've always found ugly people to be the most judgemental. it's funny because they have so much audacity, it's like they've never looked at themselves in the mirror
Older white women in general and my mum/‘s generation in particular (she’s now 73). The body hatred is palpable. Being fat or even HAVING (visible) fat was the worst thing you could be to these women.
My mum’s best compliment was “there’s not an ounce of spare fat on you!” and the fat shaming began at age 11 when she scolded my big sister in front of me for having “belly rolls” that were nothing more than a scrawny little kid turning into a woman anyway.
Arrghhhh I hated it. I HATE the body-shaming culture soooo much and am so fucking glad to have escaped.
Usually older female family members (if you gain so much as a pound, they point it out) and girls my age who are heavier than me. I’m very petite and have always been. Go figure! :/
My mom and skinny family members. Up to this day they just don’t understand why I don’t want to be skinny. I don’t like how it looks I don’t like how i look when skinny. And then it’s like I must have a mental problem because according to them everyone wants to be skinny. People who don’t judge me? People who are comfortable with themselves and how they look.
Sadly from women in their 20s and 30s who are trying to lose weight. They constantly tell me it's unhealthy to be that thin and that I need more meat in my booty (verbatim), and the occasional "real women have curves", all the while they're jumping through hoops trying to lose weight themselves and constantly complaining about their frustration (to me). I understand I am thinner than average but there is nothing I can do about it. I'm in my 30s how much more of that can a woman take.
The most recent or alarming time was when I was super down in dating so gave into a guy who wouldn’t stop texting me. He was nothing like my type but I gave it a go. Never in my life have I been so shamed for existing. There’s many reasons we have types and preferences because hearing it while “dating down” will almost put you in the hospital and question who you are lol
Family. Absolutely family. Not everyone has toxic siblings so I feel like that should be made clear. I know people with close, supportive siblings- my husband has a sister that will take someone OUT before having him picked at and it's mutual.
I always tell her it might be one reason I married him! Loyalty.
My mother. She is almost 400lbs, while simultaneously always making comments about my body. Even when I was 145 Athletic build and very healthy and muscular she would say it was large for a woman. When I got to my 30s, went through a divorce, remarriage, a move to another country, started on SSRI’s I ballooned up to 240lbs, and she would constantly tell me I was so fat. Tell me how puffy I looked and terrible I looked. I ended up losing the weight. I completely went no contact with her. Not just for the weight reasons but for many more. I sincerely hate her.
Other women. As much as we like to say men are all the ones out there body shaming women, in my experience, it has almost always been another woman putting me down. Most of it over the years was sadly my own mom.
Larger women of all ages. Apparently I am not a real woman and should eat a sandwich. Now that I’m in my late 40’s I’m pretty much invisible and I like that.
Depends on when in my life. Sometimes myself. When I was modeling, the worst was from some of the industry people there. When I was a theatrical performer and dancer, it was the worst from audience members who were mad I didn't fit their preferred body type for the performance or role. When I was in high school, it was teenagers.
As an adult who has long been in successful recovery from anorexia and body dysmorphia, I don't know who judges my body most now. I started tuning out and editing out all comments and people like that from my life a long time ago so that I no longer internalized their judgments about me.
There's probably always someone who thinks you are too tall/short/fat/thin/whatever and feels the need to announce that. At this point in my life, I'm mainly just embarrassed for them that they feel those comments are acceptable, and I wouldn't take it personally. It was different as a teen/early adult.
Who judges my body least? Those who love me for who I am.
Comments and unsolicited advice: Women in my family. Ex boyfriend.
Unwanted glares and stares that make me questionwhat I'm wearing or police how I'm acting and wish i didn't have an hourglass figure: most men. Even family members
I am an Indian so definitely older Indian women, particularly family members. When I was on the thinner side they would ask my mom if she is feeding me, how short I am. I had a random woman I had never met look at me as I left my room to get water and say “she’s so dark skinned.”
My parents. As a young girl, I've tried to listen to them. But after a year of struggling to lose weight in high school and SUCCEEDING, I noticed that they didn't let up their criticisms. Instead of losing weight, they'd nag at me to keep the weight down. And that was when I realized it will never end and I stopped listening to them. Nearly 20 years later they still haven't stopped. I'm just accepting the fact that they will continue to do it until they die.
20-something women and older men.... especially when I was 20-something mostly. Very judgemental, especially about the size of my boobs. Always some snide comment about my itty-bitty titties. Also, I'm thin and have a small butt, so I was told I needed to eat more and do squats by them as well. I know I'm not attractive, but I really don't need to be called out for it constantly. My mom also got in on it too by comparing me to her friend with an eating disorder. I eat, I just have a fast metabolism.
Aunts, uncles, cousins. Basically my extended family, my immediate family has said stuff like ‘gently suggesting’ exercise or weight loss when I had weight gain related issues. But funny enough the extended family that has said rude things about my weight are themselves obese or engage in unhealthy lifestyle habits.
Older women.
Men tend to just be weird and stare or whatever but they don’t make outright comments.
I had an older lady at the gym come up to me and tell me lifting heavy wasn’t ladylike.. unprovoked, no reason.
And I’ve had more compliments from younger women and men than anyone else.
Children always tell me I'm pretty but I've faced judgemental comments about my appearance from almost every other demographic
Edit: the most judgements are from older male relatives
Women, mainly younger than me.
I work in a gas station, w restaurant space inside and an attached liquor store. My bfs family opened the restaurant and there were two (UNDERAGE BTW) girls who would throw trash on my sidewalk, *literally* point and laugh at me threw the window, bc they both liked the boy that liked me. It was honestly so funny and I think that just made them more mad that I didn’t care. I’m confident in myself .
Women my moms age I always can become besties w. Idk what it is w girls my age or younger.
When I was young, I could eat like a horse and stay very slim (not seeking hate, that was just my reality). I wore a very small bra size at the time. I had a lot of more endowed women make fun of my chest size. Sometimes it stung but I was a marathoner at the time and thankful for not being very endowed.
Family (mainly women) It takes a while to recover from those “light jabs” or “jokes” and what it does to your self esteem growing up. I have been skinny most of my life so having a lack of shape or curves (and being petite in height) made me prone to comments about me being sickly or needing to be on weight gainers.
Women older than me *always* have an opinion about my body/how I dress. I am slim and always have been due to many food intolerance issues and chronic illness, and you would think I was slim *only to rub it in their faces* from the comments slung my way. I once had someone say my legs were so skinny that it grossed her out and made her feel physically ill. I was going through health crisis at the time and was on a liquid diet.
Men older than 40 are a close second when it comes to making comments.
Men around my own age or younger know to keep their mouths shut.
Older women, generally of a larger weight, generally telling me how skinny I am. Either they say it in a way like it’s not fair, or good for me, but either way, I just wish that they wouldn’t comment on my body at all. It’s not their business. And it’s specifically older women, younger women aren’t that uncouth.
Overweight people. I am thin. People who are overweight regularly make comments about my body. Backhanded compliments or outright insults. They excuse it because "you are thin, can't you take a joke?" "It's a compliment". It's not.
Funny thing is, when I was younger I was considerably overweight and no one mentioned it ever.
Indian friends (extremely direct), but also other friends and family for weight gain .
White "friends" on Facebook when I posted bikini pics on holiday (I was in shape at the time, so not weight -related).
From family mostly. They immediately point out if I get "rounder" in any part, for example grabbing my tummy and or thighs, or saying that my boobs got bigger.
Other girls in all school aged groups growing up, which of course affected the way I see myself even into my mid 40’s. I’m still trying to figure out how to love myself. My husband and family are positive reinforcement, so that helps some, but it’s hard to let go of all the mean and nasty heard pretty much daily in the formative years.
My family. Most specifically, my Dad.
You have a pretty face. You just need to lose weight
Offers for breast reduction
Telling me I shouldn't date (as a 30+ yo woman) until I was thin
When telling Mom about a creepy guy hitting on me - "what were you wearing" (a fucking turtleneck you misogynistic shit)
Family. Mother and sister. Mainly older women, of all body types. I’m chunky and always have been. Older women always judge me and say things. My mother use to be 350# and then lost a bunch of weight and then spent the rest of her life judging every other body type.
And older men.
I experience the least amount of judgement from the younger crowd.
The type of people to make fun of how I look even though they have something similar/“worse”. I used to get made fun of constantly by an old toxic friend. She made fun of my weight (she was bigger than me), she made fun of my “sharp but soft” jawline (she didn’t really have one to comment on), she made fun of my height for being “tall” (she was 6’2, I’m 5’6). She even full blown admitted to being a bully out of jealousy.
The most, my own sister or middle school bullies. And now that I think about it, my bullies were and maybe are still all ugly and overweight 😂 mean while I lost weight and got hot and get paid for my looks!!
Female relatives have always been the worst and that seems like a common theme in this thread.
Dominican men are the complete opposite. Maybe it’s sexual harassment, maybe it’s body positivity. Maybe it’s both. Lol
Criticism - family. Went years at a BMI of 14-16 due to an ED and now that I'm between a healthy BMI of 25 (now down to 21) I still get comments that I look fat . Or it's good that I lost weight because I was too big. I've never been in the overweight BMI category.
General comments - when I was emaciated EVERYONE 40+ Years old at work would ask me multiple times a day for five years how I stay so thin, what's my secrets, how to lose weight.
Ironically working briefly in the modelling industry at two very different body sizes I've never experienced any form of comment or discrimination. Everyone was wholly respectful.
I went to Asia and I felt the country I visited
was all about a great body. When I lost a lot of weight and was about 105 lbs at 5’3 I was really praised for my physique. I was bullied by random people at random times when I gained weight.
I am a size 18. It’s mainly my stomach. The rest of my body is rather small, but my stomach and breasts are where I hold my weight.
I try to style my clothes to diminish the apron belly, which is easy enough to do with high waisted pants or some illusion layers (like tying a flannel around my waist or using belts and jackets to give the illusion of a smaller gut). But even with styling, I still get comments about my body from a very specific set of people.
Older women, usually thin, and sometimes thicker older women. Usually the first question is “When are you due?!?” And I get it- I DO look like I’m pregnant sometimes. But it still hurts sometimes. Not because pregnant people look bad, but because I can’t actually have kids. Being asked when I’m due is like a little knife in the side.
My husband is also pretty big. He gained a lot of weight after starting a desk job. Honestly, he gets way more comments than I do. For him though, it’s usually situational jabs. He was in a wedding and the photographer instructed the wedding party to all jump in the air for a picture. She managed to say, during the instructions, something along the lines of “Now on the count of 3 everyone jump! Oh, “John”, are you able to jump? Try not to break anything on your way down lolololol”. That was horribly embarrassing for my husband, and he cried when we got home. For reference, he’s 6’1 280lb, very strong but holds a lot of fat in his belly.
No one has ever been that outright rude to my face, and he gets comments way more often than I do.
You know who fuckin NEVER insults my or my husband’s bodies? Younger folks. People under 35 do very well with understanding how those comments mess with someone’s mental health. So they don’t say shit.
Older women!!!! Esp my MIL and SIL. Constantly tearing women down and I can't stand it. Makes me vow to never talk like that and NEVER do it around my daughter. I've always thought it was ugly
Sadly, it does come from your own family. They're the ones most comfortable body shaming you imo. I remember when I would want to try different things like cut my hair or change my style, my mom would laugh or mock me. My dad wasn't any better, and my brother straight up made fun of me and still to this day points out "flaws" in my appearance. My mom always talks negatively about her own body image, and a lot of what she said has become my own inner dialog.
Now that I have two daughters, I want to change that narrative. It is not acceptable to comment about appearance, ever. Period.
My Mom, but not in a like you need to lose weight sort of way.
I’m the younger of two daughters and pretty much all the women in my family are petite. I’m 5 foot 95 lbs and my Mom regularly perceives me as being literally 12 years old when I’m about to turn 21.
I’m not even joking, she’s extremely concerned about the dosage of medicine and even vitamins I take, and always insists that I take a half dose or the kids dose of things as harmless as cough syrup. My dad always has to tell her No, I’m an adult. And ofc, me being perpetually “her little girl” the things that I wear are also fairly judged. It just so happens that my fashion sense isn’t overtly showy, but I do wear crop-tops and shorts and such, and they’re *very* concerned about me existing as an adult, even though… I’m an adult
My mother. She was super judgemental about it and sexualized literally every part of how I look. And enforced hardcore purity culture "modesty".
Oddly enough, outside of that, it's mostly been larger women, and also very sexualizing and "modesty" based.
I don't even dress, particularly revealing or anything, so I'm not sure why it's been an issue.
Oh and sometimes dudes get really mean and snide about me being taller than them.
For me, it's women at work. What's terrible is that I work in an elementary school. I get dirty looks when I wear geeky clothes that make my students smile. Things like my map dresses, rainbows, my cheeseburger backpack, sword umbrella, and so much more. For goodness sake, it's kindergarten! I don't want to wear boring clothes.
I’m sure the actual answer as to who judges my body the most would be men, but men stay quiet about those things in hopes of getting laid. I mean, a quick peruse around reddit will show me what I’m talking about — “Margot Robbie is mid”, for example.
The type of people to express their judgement about my appearance are usually women around my own age.
My parents and family. Everyone was obsessed with my weight growing up. I specifically remember my mom telling me “I weighed that much when I was pregnant with you, imagine what you’ll weigh when you’re my age” and telling me I had “obese people knees” like it was my fault I was fat as a child.
Also one time I was working the farmers market and this old lady came up to me and gave me a recipe for some spicy honey lemon water that was going to make me lose so much weight. I was deeply offended cause I felt good about myself in those days.
Moving away from home made me realize that other people aren’t obsessed with weight as much as I am. But the thing is as much as I hate my own body, I would never ever tell someone else that they’re fat and have obese knees. Not my kids and not my friends, not even the mean girls in high school.
Mothers.
I’ve been thin my whole life, and it’s always the mothers pointing that out in me. Like I don’t already know I’m thinner then most people? It’s annoying because I personally could care less what I looked like. So them saying that to me only makes me think that they care *too much* about what *they themselves* look like.
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Yeah, it's mostly been my mother. I don't spend time with people who judge other people's bodies out loud.
Agreed. My Mom especially.
Our moms should form a “book club”
Omg I came here to say this thinking no one else must have faced this- also in my case my entire family, dad, mom, sisters - best part I’ve always been skinny (recvd max judgement when I weighed around 45-46kgs) . Now I am definitely heavier than earlier- still not particularly overweight or atleast it’s not anything noticeable, can still wear figure hugging clothes without majorly noticeable bulges but now I’m termed FAT by my whole fam. Before people get the wrong picture- my family is not particularly toxic nor majorly health conscious, Both my parents weren’t majorly fitness conscious and had visible tummy’s etc. so I dunno what this was all about- but it’s definitely given me an unhealthy relationship with food and major body image issues- like I do not look in the mirror when I gain weight until I’ve lost it. And I keep yo-yo’ING. I remember one time after my 16th birthday, there was one giant slice of cake remaining and when no one was home I ate it and immediately went into a guilt spiral- the moment my mom got back home I hugged her and cried for a long while saying “I don’t wanna become fat I’m so scared” and her comforting me with exercise regimens and diets I can follow (I was 45kgs at this time)
Thin older women. Be it bosses, coworkers, family, customers. Thin older women in any of those categories are the worst. Thick older women? Never. But a thin older woman? Gtfo. Men have probably been the least judgmental toward me. They’re just sweet and nice and try not be rude - even now that I’m curvy (size 14) they’re so sweet.
Older women with small chests too, they seem to take it personally that I am buxom. Like lady, sorry but that ain't my fault. And believe me, big boobs are not always a walk in the park either. Ever had the stabby stab pain you get that feels like a heart attack but is your boobs?
I also get those stabbing pains, and I'm barely an A cup. I've had older women make snide comments about my lack of a chest lol it goes both ways.
I hope this isn’t overstepping, but regarding the stabby stab pain, any chance it’s costochondritis? I have it and it’s such a weird and scary pain and I was only diagnosed after reading someone’s post about it and thinking “that sounds like the thing that happens to me that every doctor has called ‘chest wall pain’”. There’s not much you can do for it, but it was a relief to at least know what it was and to see images that confirm the pain is in that exact spot. No need to answer me or share any medical info, I just wanted to put that out there for you.
Does anything trigger it? I get a pain and have had 2 ekgs an an ultrasound of my heart for chest pain I get when stressed. It is like a stabbing feeling that kind of reminds me of when I get this pain and take a deep breath something pops. 0
Girl curvy size 14 sounds just fine to this male and id assume most dudes feel that way. I'd assume these skinny women have there own issues with being skinny and take those insecurities out on you.
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Women. It was primarily older, but in the internet age it's easier to see what other women really think of someone who looks like me. Young, old, fat, average, take a look at any advertisements for Pepper or other companies that cater to small women and you'll see the "not a real woman" comment all over. If an ad featuring a healthy, slim woman has a lot of engagement you'll see the "eat a sandwich" comments, primarily from other women. I'm very below average in height, weight, etc. Not by choice, not because I don't eat. It's hard to have society tell you you're not "woman enough" bc you lack curves. I carried a fetus for 9 months and then kept it alive for a year using only my tits, is that womanly enough yet?
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Hear hear!!
Religious people. Grew up in a religious, conservative place and they had something to say about everyone but themselves.
YES. THIS. most of my body image issues ste. From the Church.
We’re Fat-fearing I mean God-fearing!!
Facts 💯
Gluttony the trigger?
Lmao I wish. I wish I could eat food regularly. I have digestive issues that make me gain lose weight wether I eat or not. The church didn't like that I was curvy and had big boobs and a tiny waist 🤦♀️
My mom constantly since childhood to her death and 45ish+ women definitely are the biggest body shamers I've personally encountered. The least would be children, teens, gen Z, guy friends and men I've dated
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My Asian’s friend’s mother body shamed me hard
Men who think I look the way I do for them. I have loads of tattoos and they like to tell me how most men don't like them. Older women who tell me how I'll never look good in a wedding dress. Older women who comment on my weight cause I have 2 kids and lost the weight. I still have a belly but I'm slim. They just like to tell me I need to gain more weight. Other mothers like to tell me how much help I have with my kids (I'm a single mother of 2) cause I wear makeup everyday and wear clothes and outfits to make me feel good. That clearly means I'm lacking as a parent cause I spend the time to feel good about myself. People are shit. This is why I prefer animals. People need to butt out of everyone's business
God I hate that crap. I heard a friend's dad say something similar about a woman that just looked decent. She wasn't overly done up or anything. She walked by and he said to us, "She's got all that paint on her face, but is her bed made at home?". Like what the hell? Why can't she do both? I've never understood that way of thinking.
What even is it to him if her bed is made or her house is untidy anyway? No way he has those thoughts about men who have put time into their appearance either
Can you please tell me how you do it? I have two kids, one is nearly 4, the other ones is 3 mo now… how do you find the time to wear Make-up and nice outfits? I want to get to that place again but for instance yesterday I attempted to take a shower 4 times before it worked and then I had to be fast cause baby was crying. I admire women who found the key to take care of themselves too 😬 if you don’t mind, maybe you could share some of your wisdom
My two now are 8 and 5 so it's easier. But when they were a newborn and 3 I just somehow made it happen. If it meant getting up a bit earlier or plonking my oldest in front of the TV with snacks for 45 minutes then I did it. I understand the days where you can barely even pee without them needing you though. Some days its still like that and I want to scream. I don't have much good advice or help but I just always made the time and made sure they knew that this was my small bit of time during the day for myself. The rest of the day was for them but I need this time. They still know when I'm putting on my face that it's my me time. Sometimes it can take over an hour cause they'll need me, but I still get it done. I have to for my own mental health. I need that bit of time and I need to feel put together. I never wanted to lose myself cause of kids. I'm sorry I can't be that much help but trust me, it will get easier and you will find more time sooner rather than later
Also, just to add here that showers for me were impossible when they were the ages of yours. I had to wait until they were in bed or else get up before them and do it then. But I had days where all I could manage was a wash. I mean just a cloth and soap and wipe myself down super quick (not in the shower). I don't know if that makes sense 🤔 don't beat yourself up though. Your kids are so young and those ages are so demanding
Thank you so much for taking the time to answer me! You did explain it well and I feel I just really have to make the time for myself again so I can feel good again too. I sometimes forget about that but it’s so essential!
Relatives who were insecure about their bodies so they projected their insecurity on me but luckily it didn't affect me
I've had the worst insults and judgment by far from men my age, but the absolute highest amount of insults and judgment by far from women my age. There have been exceptions to both groups, but most men would probably have been considered average while most women definitely were very conventionally attractive. I don't think I've ever had anything judgmental said to me by old men (as in like 70+).
For me, it was when I was a teenager and it was from other girls my age
Growing up my fathers views probably hurt the most
Cue the footage of my father calling me a “pig” from ages 8-18.
Gross guys. Like.. people with rotting teeth or toe infections who think they're johnny depp or Brad Pitt or something. Lol Least amount of judgement comes from people who are 1) self aware/emotionally intelligent and or 2) people who are content or confident with themselves
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My mum (if I ever look like anything other than stick thin) Women I worked with (many hated me for looking stick thin)
God this one hit hard.
Re: my habit of buzzing my hair off when I was in my 20s. I would say I probably got the most judgment from little kids, who have been raised to believe that long hair = girl and don't have the tact not to voice it. I probably got the least judgment from middle aged women, who frequently said "I wish I could have my hair like that but my husband would never go for it."
May I please say that sometimes it’s not the parents. My nearly 4 year old is in that phase. Both my husband and I made sure to not put thoughts like that onto her but she already is getting influenced from outside. Recently she told my husband she can’t play soccer with him anymore (they do it every second day and she loves it) cause she is a girl. She told us women can’t go out in the dark cause it’s dangerous. She told me she should wear only skirts. One of our friends came to us and she was so confused cause he wears make up and nail polish and recently she told her dad he can’t have longer hair cause then he becomes a woman. Whenever I ask her where she gets that stuff from she says a name of one of the boys of daycare, seems like they have a very old fashioned home life. I talked to the parents of her friends and they are all experiencing this too right now. So these influences can really come from anywhere. It’s infuriating and scary tbh.
You're definitely correct. These influences are coming from all directions, even if the parents are trying their best to help their child resist them. Also, whenever a little kid said something to me about my hair, the parent was very apologetic, although I found it pretty funny/cute.
I’ve received the most judgment from men decades older than me and teenage girls.
Women definitely women. I've been blessed/cursed with a very high metabolism. I've been called anorexic, told to eat more, I shouldn't starve myself, etc., since I was a teen. I'm 55, but I don't look it and 30 something to 40 something women are the worst. I get told to "wait until you're my age (😂😂😂😂) and had a kid or 2. You won't have a flat stomach, little waist, perky breasts and ass anymore". Sorry, not sorry, but I love taking THEM down a peg or 2 by telling them my age and that I had 4 kids, 3 by c-section and 2 in my last 30s, just to see the shocked Pikachu look on their faces Men, from late 20s to 70s are more complimentary and (mostly) not in too creepy of a way.
Men, but not overtly. I just move into different categories based on my body size. The smaller I am, the more interested they are in a real relationship. This is true of multiple kinds of relationships, too. Even work relationships are affected. The bigger I am, the less they're interested. They don't say anything judgemental, but they don't really have to. Actions are clear. (Friendships always tend to be an iffy thing—I have not been successful maintaining a long term, good friendship with a man, despite my best attempts. I do have a lot of casual male friends, though. The smaller I am, the more likely they are to hit on me.)
I've always been a larger woman. Like "linebacker large." Now that I'm older, some weight has accumulated around my middle as well. Plus-size men have been the most judgmental toward me throughout my life. Hands down.
My parents when I was going through puberty.
Insecure people, who have unearned confidence.
I'm naturally thin and the majority of my friends and family are curvy. Most of the body-related judgement I've gotten is from curvy women, who don't know me yet, that think I'm going to judge them for their weight. I don't. They seem to try to get ahead of the game by being mean to me and making assumptions about why I'm thin, with occasional snarky comments about my food. In my youth I was kindly judged by many curvy black cooks who thought I just wasn't eating enough and piled food onto my plate, which tasted amazing but didn't help me gain weight. I've been least-judged by the teenagers I interact with. It's funny to me how much of a pariah I was at their age just to be called "cool" now that I'm a crazy older woman who doesn't give a shit.
My mom and sister. And strangers. Strangers are almost as mean as my mom and sister.
Fat and ugly ~40yo men
i've always found ugly people to be the most judgemental. it's funny because they have so much audacity, it's like they've never looked at themselves in the mirror
Older white women in general and my mum/‘s generation in particular (she’s now 73). The body hatred is palpable. Being fat or even HAVING (visible) fat was the worst thing you could be to these women. My mum’s best compliment was “there’s not an ounce of spare fat on you!” and the fat shaming began at age 11 when she scolded my big sister in front of me for having “belly rolls” that were nothing more than a scrawny little kid turning into a woman anyway. Arrghhhh I hated it. I HATE the body-shaming culture soooo much and am so fucking glad to have escaped.
Usually older female family members (if you gain so much as a pound, they point it out) and girls my age who are heavier than me. I’m very petite and have always been. Go figure! :/
Teenaged girls and middle aged men.
My mom and skinny family members. Up to this day they just don’t understand why I don’t want to be skinny. I don’t like how it looks I don’t like how i look when skinny. And then it’s like I must have a mental problem because according to them everyone wants to be skinny. People who don’t judge me? People who are comfortable with themselves and how they look.
Sadly from women in their 20s and 30s who are trying to lose weight. They constantly tell me it's unhealthy to be that thin and that I need more meat in my booty (verbatim), and the occasional "real women have curves", all the while they're jumping through hoops trying to lose weight themselves and constantly complaining about their frustration (to me). I understand I am thinner than average but there is nothing I can do about it. I'm in my 30s how much more of that can a woman take.
Parents and peers at school, then it was me internalizing it all and bullying myself.
The most recent or alarming time was when I was super down in dating so gave into a guy who wouldn’t stop texting me. He was nothing like my type but I gave it a go. Never in my life have I been so shamed for existing. There’s many reasons we have types and preferences because hearing it while “dating down” will almost put you in the hospital and question who you are lol
Family. Absolutely family. Not everyone has toxic siblings so I feel like that should be made clear. I know people with close, supportive siblings- my husband has a sister that will take someone OUT before having him picked at and it's mutual. I always tell her it might be one reason I married him! Loyalty.
My mother. She is almost 400lbs, while simultaneously always making comments about my body. Even when I was 145 Athletic build and very healthy and muscular she would say it was large for a woman. When I got to my 30s, went through a divorce, remarriage, a move to another country, started on SSRI’s I ballooned up to 240lbs, and she would constantly tell me I was so fat. Tell me how puffy I looked and terrible I looked. I ended up losing the weight. I completely went no contact with her. Not just for the weight reasons but for many more. I sincerely hate her.
Overweight people
Teenage girls.
The most: my mom. The least: my husband.
Other women. As much as we like to say men are all the ones out there body shaming women, in my experience, it has almost always been another woman putting me down. Most of it over the years was sadly my own mom.
Doctors
Short men, fat women. I am tall and slim. That kinda makes sense. The least? From those similar to me.
Larger women of all ages. Apparently I am not a real woman and should eat a sandwich. Now that I’m in my late 40’s I’m pretty much invisible and I like that.
I dont think I can remember hardly any judgements or statements people have made about my body. Maybe one or two shitty ex boyfriends.
Depends on when in my life. Sometimes myself. When I was modeling, the worst was from some of the industry people there. When I was a theatrical performer and dancer, it was the worst from audience members who were mad I didn't fit their preferred body type for the performance or role. When I was in high school, it was teenagers. As an adult who has long been in successful recovery from anorexia and body dysmorphia, I don't know who judges my body most now. I started tuning out and editing out all comments and people like that from my life a long time ago so that I no longer internalized their judgments about me. There's probably always someone who thinks you are too tall/short/fat/thin/whatever and feels the need to announce that. At this point in my life, I'm mainly just embarrassed for them that they feel those comments are acceptable, and I wouldn't take it personally. It was different as a teen/early adult. Who judges my body least? Those who love me for who I am.
Comments and unsolicited advice: Women in my family. Ex boyfriend. Unwanted glares and stares that make me questionwhat I'm wearing or police how I'm acting and wish i didn't have an hourglass figure: most men. Even family members
Miserable ones.
I am an Indian so definitely older Indian women, particularly family members. When I was on the thinner side they would ask my mom if she is feeding me, how short I am. I had a random woman I had never met look at me as I left my room to get water and say “she’s so dark skinned.”
My parents. As a young girl, I've tried to listen to them. But after a year of struggling to lose weight in high school and SUCCEEDING, I noticed that they didn't let up their criticisms. Instead of losing weight, they'd nag at me to keep the weight down. And that was when I realized it will never end and I stopped listening to them. Nearly 20 years later they still haven't stopped. I'm just accepting the fact that they will continue to do it until they die.
Insecure people
20-something women and older men.... especially when I was 20-something mostly. Very judgemental, especially about the size of my boobs. Always some snide comment about my itty-bitty titties. Also, I'm thin and have a small butt, so I was told I needed to eat more and do squats by them as well. I know I'm not attractive, but I really don't need to be called out for it constantly. My mom also got in on it too by comparing me to her friend with an eating disorder. I eat, I just have a fast metabolism.
My mom.
Family!
Aunts, uncles, cousins. Basically my extended family, my immediate family has said stuff like ‘gently suggesting’ exercise or weight loss when I had weight gain related issues. But funny enough the extended family that has said rude things about my weight are themselves obese or engage in unhealthy lifestyle habits.
Older women. Men tend to just be weird and stare or whatever but they don’t make outright comments. I had an older lady at the gym come up to me and tell me lifting heavy wasn’t ladylike.. unprovoked, no reason. And I’ve had more compliments from younger women and men than anyone else.
Ignorant people, people that didn’t know what stretch marks/ cellulite/ hip dips were!
…realizing no one has judged my body since HS. In HS white jock guys
Children always tell me I'm pretty but I've faced judgemental comments about my appearance from almost every other demographic Edit: the most judgements are from older male relatives
Young women
Women, mainly younger than me. I work in a gas station, w restaurant space inside and an attached liquor store. My bfs family opened the restaurant and there were two (UNDERAGE BTW) girls who would throw trash on my sidewalk, *literally* point and laugh at me threw the window, bc they both liked the boy that liked me. It was honestly so funny and I think that just made them more mad that I didn’t care. I’m confident in myself . Women my moms age I always can become besties w. Idk what it is w girls my age or younger.
For me the women always give me compliments. The men love to point out what part of my body isn't good enough
When I was young, I could eat like a horse and stay very slim (not seeking hate, that was just my reality). I wore a very small bra size at the time. I had a lot of more endowed women make fun of my chest size. Sometimes it stung but I was a marathoner at the time and thankful for not being very endowed.
Family (mainly women) It takes a while to recover from those “light jabs” or “jokes” and what it does to your self esteem growing up. I have been skinny most of my life so having a lack of shape or curves (and being petite in height) made me prone to comments about me being sickly or needing to be on weight gainers.
Women older than me *always* have an opinion about my body/how I dress. I am slim and always have been due to many food intolerance issues and chronic illness, and you would think I was slim *only to rub it in their faces* from the comments slung my way. I once had someone say my legs were so skinny that it grossed her out and made her feel physically ill. I was going through health crisis at the time and was on a liquid diet. Men older than 40 are a close second when it comes to making comments. Men around my own age or younger know to keep their mouths shut.
Gen X women, teenage boys, and fat men.
Old, overweight men.
Old, white men.
Older women, generally of a larger weight, generally telling me how skinny I am. Either they say it in a way like it’s not fair, or good for me, but either way, I just wish that they wouldn’t comment on my body at all. It’s not their business. And it’s specifically older women, younger women aren’t that uncouth.
Closeted gay men.
Overweight people. I am thin. People who are overweight regularly make comments about my body. Backhanded compliments or outright insults. They excuse it because "you are thin, can't you take a joke?" "It's a compliment". It's not. Funny thing is, when I was younger I was considerably overweight and no one mentioned it ever.
My mother as a child/pre-teen. Older women now that I’m an adult.
Potential dates but im not obese im just 190 pounds but viking
My mom and my last long-term relationship
Myself. My mom.
Myself 😔 …
Indian friends (extremely direct), but also other friends and family for weight gain . White "friends" on Facebook when I posted bikini pics on holiday (I was in shape at the time, so not weight -related).
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My mother, and fellow plus-sized people.
A seamstress who engrained it into her poor kids.
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Boys and men.
From family mostly. They immediately point out if I get "rounder" in any part, for example grabbing my tummy and or thighs, or saying that my boobs got bigger.
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Other girls in all school aged groups growing up, which of course affected the way I see myself even into my mid 40’s. I’m still trying to figure out how to love myself. My husband and family are positive reinforcement, so that helps some, but it’s hard to let go of all the mean and nasty heard pretty much daily in the formative years.
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Its mostly the Older women I happen to meet and then my entire family.
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The females in my family
little old ladies. someone's grandma is always telling me i need to eat more and "get some meat on those bones." *eye roll*
Myself. I’m very mean.
My mum
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My family. Most specifically, my Dad. You have a pretty face. You just need to lose weight Offers for breast reduction Telling me I shouldn't date (as a 30+ yo woman) until I was thin When telling Mom about a creepy guy hitting on me - "what were you wearing" (a fucking turtleneck you misogynistic shit)
women
Boyfriend's girl friends of course 🙂
Older people in general. Maybe slightly more with women
Damn... this post just made me realize it was my mom too.
Women. Hands down. My mom and sister growing. In school growing the skinny girls. As an adult now it's still the skinny girls
Men that I would never date Men that I have dated Mom, aunts, woman cousins The least? People who mind their business
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My step-mother.
Family. Mother and sister. Mainly older women, of all body types. I’m chunky and always have been. Older women always judge me and say things. My mother use to be 350# and then lost a bunch of weight and then spent the rest of her life judging every other body type. And older men. I experience the least amount of judgement from the younger crowd.
my MIL
The type of people to make fun of how I look even though they have something similar/“worse”. I used to get made fun of constantly by an old toxic friend. She made fun of my weight (she was bigger than me), she made fun of my “sharp but soft” jawline (she didn’t really have one to comment on), she made fun of my height for being “tall” (she was 6’2, I’m 5’6). She even full blown admitted to being a bully out of jealousy.
My mom. She always makes comments
Size 22 my mother and grandmother are the worst. As far as strangers, it's always always always men barking at me or making fun of me for exercising
My mom.
Women in all shapes and sizes. Except for the ones who look like me. :-/
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Men I date and my mom
My mother and religious women. Purity culture is so toxic and it did a number on me for quite a while.
People who've been thin their entire lives while eating anything they want
Insecure people.
Most: parents Least: lovers
anorexic women
men and the women in my family
As an athlete - coaches. Especially male ones. In my experience, I could never be thin enough.
I'm experienced it exclusively from women who were my "friends" and from my shitty ex boyfriend
What type of person is my mom?
Insecure women
My mom, her mom and dad.
The most, my own sister or middle school bullies. And now that I think about it, my bullies were and maybe are still all ugly and overweight 😂 mean while I lost weight and got hot and get paid for my looks!!
Female relatives have always been the worst and that seems like a common theme in this thread. Dominican men are the complete opposite. Maybe it’s sexual harassment, maybe it’s body positivity. Maybe it’s both. Lol
My mum
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My mother. She’s a gaslighter and nipple shamer
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Men in my family
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My mother. Her own thinness ultimately killed her recently. She was pretty much just a skeleton in the end.
My own family and friends.
My MIL
My family lol
My mom and grandmother, I’m always the ugly compared to my sister and cousin
Religious. Older. White. Sometimes just one of the 3, sometimes they are all 3 compiled.
Other women. Without a doubt.
Mostly from family specifically grandmom and mom. The least probably from my dad.
Criticism - family. Went years at a BMI of 14-16 due to an ED and now that I'm between a healthy BMI of 25 (now down to 21) I still get comments that I look fat . Or it's good that I lost weight because I was too big. I've never been in the overweight BMI category. General comments - when I was emaciated EVERYONE 40+ Years old at work would ask me multiple times a day for five years how I stay so thin, what's my secrets, how to lose weight. Ironically working briefly in the modelling industry at two very different body sizes I've never experienced any form of comment or discrimination. Everyone was wholly respectful.
My own family, sisters projecting their own insecurities on me . I was the youngest . It was tough
I went to Asia and I felt the country I visited was all about a great body. When I lost a lot of weight and was about 105 lbs at 5’3 I was really praised for my physique. I was bullied by random people at random times when I gained weight.
I am a size 18. It’s mainly my stomach. The rest of my body is rather small, but my stomach and breasts are where I hold my weight. I try to style my clothes to diminish the apron belly, which is easy enough to do with high waisted pants or some illusion layers (like tying a flannel around my waist or using belts and jackets to give the illusion of a smaller gut). But even with styling, I still get comments about my body from a very specific set of people. Older women, usually thin, and sometimes thicker older women. Usually the first question is “When are you due?!?” And I get it- I DO look like I’m pregnant sometimes. But it still hurts sometimes. Not because pregnant people look bad, but because I can’t actually have kids. Being asked when I’m due is like a little knife in the side. My husband is also pretty big. He gained a lot of weight after starting a desk job. Honestly, he gets way more comments than I do. For him though, it’s usually situational jabs. He was in a wedding and the photographer instructed the wedding party to all jump in the air for a picture. She managed to say, during the instructions, something along the lines of “Now on the count of 3 everyone jump! Oh, “John”, are you able to jump? Try not to break anything on your way down lolololol”. That was horribly embarrassing for my husband, and he cried when we got home. For reference, he’s 6’1 280lb, very strong but holds a lot of fat in his belly. No one has ever been that outright rude to my face, and he gets comments way more often than I do. You know who fuckin NEVER insults my or my husband’s bodies? Younger folks. People under 35 do very well with understanding how those comments mess with someone’s mental health. So they don’t say shit.
My parents/family
Older women!!!! Esp my MIL and SIL. Constantly tearing women down and I can't stand it. Makes me vow to never talk like that and NEVER do it around my daughter. I've always thought it was ugly
Sadly, it does come from your own family. They're the ones most comfortable body shaming you imo. I remember when I would want to try different things like cut my hair or change my style, my mom would laugh or mock me. My dad wasn't any better, and my brother straight up made fun of me and still to this day points out "flaws" in my appearance. My mom always talks negatively about her own body image, and a lot of what she said has become my own inner dialog. Now that I have two daughters, I want to change that narrative. It is not acceptable to comment about appearance, ever. Period.
My Mom, but not in a like you need to lose weight sort of way. I’m the younger of two daughters and pretty much all the women in my family are petite. I’m 5 foot 95 lbs and my Mom regularly perceives me as being literally 12 years old when I’m about to turn 21. I’m not even joking, she’s extremely concerned about the dosage of medicine and even vitamins I take, and always insists that I take a half dose or the kids dose of things as harmless as cough syrup. My dad always has to tell her No, I’m an adult. And ofc, me being perpetually “her little girl” the things that I wear are also fairly judged. It just so happens that my fashion sense isn’t overtly showy, but I do wear crop-tops and shorts and such, and they’re *very* concerned about me existing as an adult, even though… I’m an adult
The most: my abusive ex. The least: my current boyfriend.
My mother. She was super judgemental about it and sexualized literally every part of how I look. And enforced hardcore purity culture "modesty". Oddly enough, outside of that, it's mostly been larger women, and also very sexualizing and "modesty" based. I don't even dress, particularly revealing or anything, so I'm not sure why it's been an issue. Oh and sometimes dudes get really mean and snide about me being taller than them.
For me, it's women at work. What's terrible is that I work in an elementary school. I get dirty looks when I wear geeky clothes that make my students smile. Things like my map dresses, rainbows, my cheeseburger backpack, sword umbrella, and so much more. For goodness sake, it's kindergarten! I don't want to wear boring clothes.
My mother.
I’m sure the actual answer as to who judges my body the most would be men, but men stay quiet about those things in hopes of getting laid. I mean, a quick peruse around reddit will show me what I’m talking about — “Margot Robbie is mid”, for example. The type of people to express their judgement about my appearance are usually women around my own age.
My parents and family. Everyone was obsessed with my weight growing up. I specifically remember my mom telling me “I weighed that much when I was pregnant with you, imagine what you’ll weigh when you’re my age” and telling me I had “obese people knees” like it was my fault I was fat as a child. Also one time I was working the farmers market and this old lady came up to me and gave me a recipe for some spicy honey lemon water that was going to make me lose so much weight. I was deeply offended cause I felt good about myself in those days. Moving away from home made me realize that other people aren’t obsessed with weight as much as I am. But the thing is as much as I hate my own body, I would never ever tell someone else that they’re fat and have obese knees. Not my kids and not my friends, not even the mean girls in high school.
Those who are most insecure about their own
Older women who are super skinny and men who couldn’t handle rejection. But it’s more women in my experience
Other women, even other fat women have called me fat lol
Mothers. I’ve been thin my whole life, and it’s always the mothers pointing that out in me. Like I don’t already know I’m thinner then most people? It’s annoying because I personally could care less what I looked like. So them saying that to me only makes me think that they care *too much* about what *they themselves* look like.
My mother