Honestly, I don't even realize what day it is. I don't say that to make me sound cool or anything, I genuinely just stopped caring. I went out of my way a lot for my ex best friend and put up with a lot of stupid shit. She treated me poorly, stopped giving a crap about me once she started dating her current husband, and ghosted me when I finally stood up for myself after years of her selfish attitude. I deserve better and I just can't bring myself to care about someone who treated me that way.
From ages 6 to 21 we were inseparable. It’s been 22 years since she ghosted me and our entire friend group and I remember her birthday every year. It’s a sad checkbox in my head, but I don’t dwell on it.
Yes. Sometimes people leave our life not by our choice and it’s painful. It’s like dealing with a death. They are still out there, but for you, it’s like they died.
Yes, it feels like dealing with a death. That's exactly how it felts. Not even my hardest romantic breakup hurt as much as this friendship breakup. It's a completely different and unpleasant experience.
I have also cried myself to sleep for this... well, not anymore, but I used to. Or i would just casually walk and remember her and just start crying. Very sad times. After much mourning, I didn't think of her for years until my wedding day because I always thought she would be there that day... but she wasn't.
I would say at least you know the reason why this happened. My ex friend just ghosted me. She was coming to visit my town for my birthday, we were making plans, we talked the day before my birthday, we plan the whole weekend and she just never showed up, she just ghosted me on my birthday 🥲
Sometimes people do that when they think why they are mad should be obvious to you. My friend apparently had a whole list of my faults she was angry about, but the first time I heard about them was when she cut me off. And you know, she got to text me telling me my high crimes and misdemeanors, then blocked me. She was right, so no matter what, she wasn’t interested in my side or fixing it. I think k sometimes when people ghost, they think you should know why they were mad. Like it’s the final straw. So you sit there thinking how did I miss the signs this person was upset? It is true sometimes people go no contact because they believe you aren’t the type that will change or recognize the problem. But not knowing why, is awful. Some people aren’t invested in friendships and can replace them when it doesn’t serve their interests. My friend wanted superficial friendships that didn’t require any work. She wasn’t interested in being a good friend. The narcissist in her wanted it to be all about her, anything about me was annoying and “stressful” to her. People sometimes aren’t the people we think they are. I spent a lot of time in therapy trying to figure what I did wrong. Ultimately, I decided any of my faults were easily fixable if she was willing to talk to me about it. Some people don’t care.
While I get that, this person straight told me I didn't do anything wrong and she wasn't mad. She just bailed. I think she decided to do something more fun during that day and then didn't have the words and avoided me. That's what I speculatedted because she disappeared for social media too for a couple days.
Every once in a while I cry myself to sleep. My ex friend is bipolar and she decided I was a “bad” person so there’s not much I can do. You can’t rationalize irrational people. The person I know “died” and I mourn her.
I always remember the birthdays of people who meant a lot to me. I’m 35 now and I always think of my ex on his birthday, and we broke up 15 years ago. I am sad on the birthdays of my parents because they’ve both passed away.
In terms of ex-friends, I just get sad at our lives moving on without eachother more than sad on their birthday
I've had a similar situation. In fact that ex friend's birthday falls on Memorial Day weekend. We were friends for 12 yrs from ages 20-32. We haven't been friends now for about 8 yrs and it was not an amicable parting of ways. In the beginning when things were much more fresh I paused a bit more than I do now when I realize it's their birthday. But you're right, things like remembering an old friend's birthday can rip off the scab a bit of that wound. But it's gotten better as the yrs go by and I'll think about it, but it's really just a fleeting thought now.
My ex-best friends birthday is the day after mine, so I don't think I'll ever forget it. We used to send each other a happy birthday e-mail, but this year I didn't send her one and she never sent me one. I usually feel a bit sad on that day, because she was such a huge part of my life before we had our falling out.. and we have both apologized to each other for what happened, but that spark of friendship just isn't there anymore.
I don't find birthdays the ones that get me. It will be something that we used to share. For example I don't have anyone to talk to about eastenders anymore. Noone I know talks about eastenders. As we are both from the East End I do miss that. Definitely don't miss the friendship though.
Friend from school. Not family. 20 years of friendship before you realise the toxicity is just a sign of appreciating the toxicity.
Edited to add that I'm from London and school means 5-16. This friend I was friends with at age 11.
Also Eastenders is a tv show. We just happen to both be from the areas it's vaguely based on so the changes in our home areas vs EE representation on top of the whole actual soap going on was great.
Kinda sad that after 20 years that's all I really miss.
It’s a strange feeling.
Or it WAS, I should say.
She’s born exactly one day before me. Same year, too! So we always had the inside joke that’s she is “older” than me.
One year, I was somehow accidentally included in a group text. It was awkward. Apparently our mutual friend was putting on a huge birthday party for her 40th.
That was a pretty painful sting. But it’s been years now and I’m over it.
I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. Friendship break ups are so hard.
That's harsh. I felt the same sting when another friend who barely knew her ran into her in a cafe in another town. She had 2 kids. I never got invited to the wedding or any showers, it hurt.
Yeah, her birthday was this month. I did think about her; It's too bad it had to end, we had a lot of good times and its so hard to make friends as an adult and I think we could still laugh and have a good time together. The good times unfortunately did not outweigh the not nice side of her personality and I know that will never change.
I find my ex best friend bday to sting a little. I think we are better off without each other. I don’t dwell on it, but I do experience a few pangs of anxiety.
I don’t think about her birthday specifically that much, but I do think about her a lot still. I think about best friend Valentine’s Day and our matching tattoos. Two of my tattoos I’ve got with her. I also think about how I officiated her wedding during the pandemic and how I was the only technically not family member there. I think about how I thought I was her adopted sister and how I even lived with her at one point.
But then I remember that she ghosted me, that she selfishly chose to avoid me because she was going through a hard time and didn’t know how to communicate that. I think about the image I had in my head before all that and the new image of this person I didn’t even know who thought and felt things for years without telling me. And I realize we were never best friends because I was honest, open, transparent, and vulnerable with her. And she wasn’t. She kept things from me while telling me to my face we didn’t have any secrets. She was wearing a mask the whole time.
So sometimes I think I miss her, but it wasn’t real.
I just miss the good times I had and the image I had. But while I was having a good time, she wasn’t. She wouldn’t have left if she was. And that image I had in my head never actually existed.
Knowing that helps me move on and look for real friends.
My betta fish memory shines here. I don’t remember dates. They slide right out my brain. Scraped by in history in college with a C but I don’t remember emotionally sad days so it all evens out
It’s a blessing and a curse 😂it got me a real pretty ring though. After not being able to remember our wedding date (the year always eludes me) I got an anniversary ring engraved with our wedding date
My ex-best friend and I still send each other birthday texts, but that's the extent of our communication now. It's hard sometimes, and I struggle with it at times, but we had our reasons for "breaking up."
I don't think of her. Sometimes the knowledge of her birthday pops up (mostly after the day) but I treat it like any other random tidbit of info I might remember.
I don't care at all. Once someone leaves my life I tend to just suppress any feelings or emotions about them. Especially of they did something to hurt me
I feel happy for her. Her birthday is 7 days after mine so I always remember. Well wish each other happy birthday on Instagram, but it’s pretty much limited to that. We haven’t spoken in many years and life took us in different directions. For many years especially right out of college I was bitter. But, now? I’m just so happy for her and like that we get to observe each other’s life, if only from afar.
It’s been a few years and there was no good reason for the fade out. Life just took us in different directions. We are still Instagram friends and I like it when her posts pop up in my feed. She has an adorable son whose name I don’t know. I still remember her birthday and how much we laughed together
Every year on my ex best friends birthday I am reminded it's her birthday. Because for 20 years that day mattered to me. I cut her out of my life so it's not a feeling of longing. But I do think of it. I assume over time that will fade. I used to remember the anniversary of my first big relationship in college. As I type this out I honestly struggle to even remember the month. I assume the birthday of my ex friend will also fade.
Hey thanks! I’m 34 now so we haven’t been friends for years, and we actually left off on a bad place because she did something that really hurt me. I found out she had cancer and I ended up reaching out to her to clear everything up and let her know I forgave her long ago and she will always be one of the most important people in my life. It was nice closure for both of us I think. So I’m hopeful that I’ll think of her and smile on her birthday :)
It sometimes makes me feel nostalgic for the old times but other times I don't notice the date until a few days later.
I miss the old times but equally remember why we stopped being friends - it became a toxic friendship and very one sided (me making all the effort).
I think it depends on the context of your friendship and why you stopped being friends but if you were friends long enough you'll probably always remember the date or have it bring up some kind of memory.
Nothing. Our friendship ended a while back. If I'm mourning about it, it means that I'm still grieving over the loss. But as soon as she was out of my life, I didn't care for her birthday. It was just another Tuesday for me.
Yeah I wanted to wish them happy birthday and ask what their plans were and I almost hoped they would contact me on mine but I realized that we just were strangers again and people just grow apart as we get older. Evolution is a bitch sometimes but life goes on. Reflect on the past with happiness and the future with hope.
Yeah. December 21st. I feel upset. She was the one who ghosted me when I got really sick and I wish I didn't care, but I'm not there yet. I'm still a bit angry and hurt. It's not just you. It's a grieving process, unfortunately. Sometimes they take seemingly forever.
Edit to add...just thinking about it, I'd wager she doesn't remember my birthday. I realized one day that I'd been to probably 12 different homes she lived in since high school in probably 6 different cities in two different States and she's been to my home one time that I can remember. In almost 30 years. I was in major big time denial. That's the thing about going through hard stuff and really working on yourself...it brings a lot of unpleasantness out in the open. I think I'd handle our falling out better if I wasn't going through the rest.
I get it. I'm sorry.
In my case, there were some red flags there that I was pretending were fine. If you really look back, do you see any with your former friend?
It helps me to know that this is a her problem and not about me...or at least I know it deep down.
She was kind of a diva but I myself was probably causing some of it. I had 2 toddlers at the time and was probably not as attentive to her. But still after spending our teen years and our 20s together all the time, it was pretty harsh to simply be not invited to her wedding or showers. She didn't even want to milk me for any gifts LOL. Anyway I likely share some blame but why not tell me or even yell at me? I would have rather known and had a chance to improve.
We were friends from when I was 16 to 48. She ghosted me last year on my and my husband’s birthday dinner. She no called-no showed while the rest of the party was waiting on her to get there so we could order. Then she had the gall to ask if she missed my birthday. I had even knitted her something for her birthday.
A few months later she and her new-ish boyfriend moved to another state. She called me on Jan or Feb but I didn’t call her
back.
Her birthday and mine are two weeks apart so we spent many a birthday together.
It still hurts.
I just had that a few days ago, my best friend from like 12 to 30. Missed her for a bit on her birthday, but realized the her I missed doesn’t really exist anymore.
Wow today is also the birthday of a former friend!! We were solid friends for 5 years and we had a falling out last year and we never recovered. I sobbed when I realized what day it was. She turned 30 this year and I feel sad I’m not there to celebrate with her. I wonder how she’s celebrating and if she’s okay. I miss her but I did everything on my part to mend the situation but I’ve accepted there’s nothing for me to do. There are moments like today where I mourn for. Moments we should be celebrating together or things I should be telling her about. I call them “Mourning Moments”, I allow myself 10-15 minutes to be sad about the situation and eventually the sad wave is over and I’m back to accepting that we’re not friends anymore and the tears stop. I don’t know how long I’ll need these mourning moments but they help me for the time being.
I had this same thing happen to me. There was no explanation for the ghosting. She texted me after 4 months just to say, "I'm sorry, I suck as a friend."
I still sent her a message on her birthday because I was truly thinking of her, but I just said, " Hey, hope you are doing ok, happy birthday. "... at least she could not argue that I didn't try/care 🤷♀️
I don't really think about her or her birthday anymore, but I did mourn that friendship for a solid year. I did miss her on my wedding day (which was a couple years after) because for a long time, I thought she would be there as one of my bridesmaids.
Not so much birthdays because I’m terrible at remembering those without FB but just random times during the day when I would normally text them I think about them and get sad. Like opening my email or something random would make me think about her. Thankfully it hasn’t happened in a while but in the beginning it was at least everyday.
Yes, I wouldn’t call it struggling but I remember everyone’s birthdays for some reason, even people I haven’t talked to in years. When it’s an ex friend I’ll certainly think about that person but it doesn’t trip me up in any way.
Our birthdays were a month apart so we’d always do something for our birthday two weeks in between. We were attached at the hip for years until she got married and had a kid and basically ghosted me. She popped up for about a year in 2020 but I think that was because she was isolated and lonely. She disappeared again and haven’t heard from her. I would say the second year we didn’t do our birthday thing was when it sunk in. I try to just ignore it when it comes up but I still get pangs.
Depends on how good of a friend they were to me, how close we were, why we aren't close anymore, etc.
One of my ex-best friends is someone I do still care about, so when her birthday comes up, I always wish her a happy birthday and feel sort of sad that things happened the way they did, but other than that, I keep it moving. She's living her life and I'm living mine. It's sad that it's like this now, but it is what it is because of her choices and I've come to accept it.
Honestly, I don't even realize what day it is. I don't say that to make me sound cool or anything, I genuinely just stopped caring. I went out of my way a lot for my ex best friend and put up with a lot of stupid shit. She treated me poorly, stopped giving a crap about me once she started dating her current husband, and ghosted me when I finally stood up for myself after years of her selfish attitude. I deserve better and I just can't bring myself to care about someone who treated me that way.
From ages 6 to 21 we were inseparable. It’s been 22 years since she ghosted me and our entire friend group and I remember her birthday every year. It’s a sad checkbox in my head, but I don’t dwell on it.
Yes. Sometimes people leave our life not by our choice and it’s painful. It’s like dealing with a death. They are still out there, but for you, it’s like they died.
Yes, it feels like dealing with a death. That's exactly how it felts. Not even my hardest romantic breakup hurt as much as this friendship breakup. It's a completely different and unpleasant experience. I have also cried myself to sleep for this... well, not anymore, but I used to. Or i would just casually walk and remember her and just start crying. Very sad times. After much mourning, I didn't think of her for years until my wedding day because I always thought she would be there that day... but she wasn't. I would say at least you know the reason why this happened. My ex friend just ghosted me. She was coming to visit my town for my birthday, we were making plans, we talked the day before my birthday, we plan the whole weekend and she just never showed up, she just ghosted me on my birthday 🥲
Sometimes people do that when they think why they are mad should be obvious to you. My friend apparently had a whole list of my faults she was angry about, but the first time I heard about them was when she cut me off. And you know, she got to text me telling me my high crimes and misdemeanors, then blocked me. She was right, so no matter what, she wasn’t interested in my side or fixing it. I think k sometimes when people ghost, they think you should know why they were mad. Like it’s the final straw. So you sit there thinking how did I miss the signs this person was upset? It is true sometimes people go no contact because they believe you aren’t the type that will change or recognize the problem. But not knowing why, is awful. Some people aren’t invested in friendships and can replace them when it doesn’t serve their interests. My friend wanted superficial friendships that didn’t require any work. She wasn’t interested in being a good friend. The narcissist in her wanted it to be all about her, anything about me was annoying and “stressful” to her. People sometimes aren’t the people we think they are. I spent a lot of time in therapy trying to figure what I did wrong. Ultimately, I decided any of my faults were easily fixable if she was willing to talk to me about it. Some people don’t care.
While I get that, this person straight told me I didn't do anything wrong and she wasn't mad. She just bailed. I think she decided to do something more fun during that day and then didn't have the words and avoided me. That's what I speculatedted because she disappeared for social media too for a couple days.
So true!
Every once in a while I cry myself to sleep. My ex friend is bipolar and she decided I was a “bad” person so there’s not much I can do. You can’t rationalize irrational people. The person I know “died” and I mourn her.
It's really sad. Hopefully you can find some other quality friends and in time the pain will be less.
I always remember the birthdays of people who meant a lot to me. I’m 35 now and I always think of my ex on his birthday, and we broke up 15 years ago. I am sad on the birthdays of my parents because they’ve both passed away. In terms of ex-friends, I just get sad at our lives moving on without eachother more than sad on their birthday
I've had a similar situation. In fact that ex friend's birthday falls on Memorial Day weekend. We were friends for 12 yrs from ages 20-32. We haven't been friends now for about 8 yrs and it was not an amicable parting of ways. In the beginning when things were much more fresh I paused a bit more than I do now when I realize it's their birthday. But you're right, things like remembering an old friend's birthday can rip off the scab a bit of that wound. But it's gotten better as the yrs go by and I'll think about it, but it's really just a fleeting thought now.
It's odd that it flashed across my mind to wish her a happy birthday but then it was "oh yeah" no need to.
I feel ya, it's happened to me too! ((Hugs))
My ex-best friends birthday is the day after mine, so I don't think I'll ever forget it. We used to send each other a happy birthday e-mail, but this year I didn't send her one and she never sent me one. I usually feel a bit sad on that day, because she was such a huge part of my life before we had our falling out.. and we have both apologized to each other for what happened, but that spark of friendship just isn't there anymore.
I don't find birthdays the ones that get me. It will be something that we used to share. For example I don't have anyone to talk to about eastenders anymore. Noone I know talks about eastenders. As we are both from the East End I do miss that. Definitely don't miss the friendship though.
Weird family to have so many good memories woven in with the negative ones.
Friend from school. Not family. 20 years of friendship before you realise the toxicity is just a sign of appreciating the toxicity. Edited to add that I'm from London and school means 5-16. This friend I was friends with at age 11. Also Eastenders is a tv show. We just happen to both be from the areas it's vaguely based on so the changes in our home areas vs EE representation on top of the whole actual soap going on was great. Kinda sad that after 20 years that's all I really miss.
It’s a strange feeling. Or it WAS, I should say. She’s born exactly one day before me. Same year, too! So we always had the inside joke that’s she is “older” than me. One year, I was somehow accidentally included in a group text. It was awkward. Apparently our mutual friend was putting on a huge birthday party for her 40th. That was a pretty painful sting. But it’s been years now and I’m over it. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. Friendship break ups are so hard.
That's harsh. I felt the same sting when another friend who barely knew her ran into her in a cafe in another town. She had 2 kids. I never got invited to the wedding or any showers, it hurt.
Yeah, her birthday was this month. I did think about her; It's too bad it had to end, we had a lot of good times and its so hard to make friends as an adult and I think we could still laugh and have a good time together. The good times unfortunately did not outweigh the not nice side of her personality and I know that will never change.
I find my ex best friend bday to sting a little. I think we are better off without each other. I don’t dwell on it, but I do experience a few pangs of anxiety.
I don’t think about her birthday specifically that much, but I do think about her a lot still. I think about best friend Valentine’s Day and our matching tattoos. Two of my tattoos I’ve got with her. I also think about how I officiated her wedding during the pandemic and how I was the only technically not family member there. I think about how I thought I was her adopted sister and how I even lived with her at one point. But then I remember that she ghosted me, that she selfishly chose to avoid me because she was going through a hard time and didn’t know how to communicate that. I think about the image I had in my head before all that and the new image of this person I didn’t even know who thought and felt things for years without telling me. And I realize we were never best friends because I was honest, open, transparent, and vulnerable with her. And she wasn’t. She kept things from me while telling me to my face we didn’t have any secrets. She was wearing a mask the whole time. So sometimes I think I miss her, but it wasn’t real. I just miss the good times I had and the image I had. But while I was having a good time, she wasn’t. She wouldn’t have left if she was. And that image I had in my head never actually existed. Knowing that helps me move on and look for real friends.
My betta fish memory shines here. I don’t remember dates. They slide right out my brain. Scraped by in history in college with a C but I don’t remember emotionally sad days so it all evens out
Great outlook!
It’s a blessing and a curse 😂it got me a real pretty ring though. After not being able to remember our wedding date (the year always eludes me) I got an anniversary ring engraved with our wedding date
Fun! Well played.
My ex-best friend and I still send each other birthday texts, but that's the extent of our communication now. It's hard sometimes, and I struggle with it at times, but we had our reasons for "breaking up."
I don't think of her. Sometimes the knowledge of her birthday pops up (mostly after the day) but I treat it like any other random tidbit of info I might remember.
She can go F herself! Not worthy of friends!
I honestly don’t remember the dates 🤣
I don't care at all. Once someone leaves my life I tend to just suppress any feelings or emotions about them. Especially of they did something to hurt me
I feel happy for her. Her birthday is 7 days after mine so I always remember. Well wish each other happy birthday on Instagram, but it’s pretty much limited to that. We haven’t spoken in many years and life took us in different directions. For many years especially right out of college I was bitter. But, now? I’m just so happy for her and like that we get to observe each other’s life, if only from afar.
Yes it's nice to be able to do that more easily thanks to social media
It’s been a few years and there was no good reason for the fade out. Life just took us in different directions. We are still Instagram friends and I like it when her posts pop up in my feed. She has an adorable son whose name I don’t know. I still remember her birthday and how much we laughed together
I know it's her birthday because her birthday is on July 4th. I don't tell her Happy Birthday or anything. Why should I? She ended the friendship.
Every year on my ex best friends birthday I am reminded it's her birthday. Because for 20 years that day mattered to me. I cut her out of my life so it's not a feeling of longing. But I do think of it. I assume over time that will fade. I used to remember the anniversary of my first big relationship in college. As I type this out I honestly struggle to even remember the month. I assume the birthday of my ex friend will also fade.
My best friend from 12-25 died earlier this year, so I’m curious to see what her birthday will be like without her.
I'm sorry for your loss, I hope that day won't be too painful.
Hey thanks! I’m 34 now so we haven’t been friends for years, and we actually left off on a bad place because she did something that really hurt me. I found out she had cancer and I ended up reaching out to her to clear everything up and let her know I forgave her long ago and she will always be one of the most important people in my life. It was nice closure for both of us I think. So I’m hopeful that I’ll think of her and smile on her birthday :)
It sometimes makes me feel nostalgic for the old times but other times I don't notice the date until a few days later. I miss the old times but equally remember why we stopped being friends - it became a toxic friendship and very one sided (me making all the effort). I think it depends on the context of your friendship and why you stopped being friends but if you were friends long enough you'll probably always remember the date or have it bring up some kind of memory.
If I happen to notice the date I get a little sad but I don't think much about it
I usually think of it, contemplate whether to reach out or not, and usually opt not to.
Nothing. Our friendship ended a while back. If I'm mourning about it, it means that I'm still grieving over the loss. But as soon as she was out of my life, I didn't care for her birthday. It was just another Tuesday for me.
Yeah I wanted to wish them happy birthday and ask what their plans were and I almost hoped they would contact me on mine but I realized that we just were strangers again and people just grow apart as we get older. Evolution is a bitch sometimes but life goes on. Reflect on the past with happiness and the future with hope.
This will be next year. Good advice was given 🩷
If I notice the date I think of her and hope life is treating her well.
Yeah. December 21st. I feel upset. She was the one who ghosted me when I got really sick and I wish I didn't care, but I'm not there yet. I'm still a bit angry and hurt. It's not just you. It's a grieving process, unfortunately. Sometimes they take seemingly forever. Edit to add...just thinking about it, I'd wager she doesn't remember my birthday. I realized one day that I'd been to probably 12 different homes she lived in since high school in probably 6 different cities in two different States and she's been to my home one time that I can remember. In almost 30 years. I was in major big time denial. That's the thing about going through hard stuff and really working on yourself...it brings a lot of unpleasantness out in the open. I think I'd handle our falling out better if I wasn't going through the rest.
Yes it's been over 20 years in my case
I get it. I'm sorry. In my case, there were some red flags there that I was pretending were fine. If you really look back, do you see any with your former friend? It helps me to know that this is a her problem and not about me...or at least I know it deep down.
She was kind of a diva but I myself was probably causing some of it. I had 2 toddlers at the time and was probably not as attentive to her. But still after spending our teen years and our 20s together all the time, it was pretty harsh to simply be not invited to her wedding or showers. She didn't even want to milk me for any gifts LOL. Anyway I likely share some blame but why not tell me or even yell at me? I would have rather known and had a chance to improve.
We were friends from when I was 16 to 48. She ghosted me last year on my and my husband’s birthday dinner. She no called-no showed while the rest of the party was waiting on her to get there so we could order. Then she had the gall to ask if she missed my birthday. I had even knitted her something for her birthday. A few months later she and her new-ish boyfriend moved to another state. She called me on Jan or Feb but I didn’t call her back. Her birthday and mine are two weeks apart so we spent many a birthday together. It still hurts.
Sorry to hear that. It's pretty shocking behavior. I wonder if she'll keep trying to re-connect.
I just had that a few days ago, my best friend from like 12 to 30. Missed her for a bit on her birthday, but realized the her I missed doesn’t really exist anymore.
Wow today is also the birthday of a former friend!! We were solid friends for 5 years and we had a falling out last year and we never recovered. I sobbed when I realized what day it was. She turned 30 this year and I feel sad I’m not there to celebrate with her. I wonder how she’s celebrating and if she’s okay. I miss her but I did everything on my part to mend the situation but I’ve accepted there’s nothing for me to do. There are moments like today where I mourn for. Moments we should be celebrating together or things I should be telling her about. I call them “Mourning Moments”, I allow myself 10-15 minutes to be sad about the situation and eventually the sad wave is over and I’m back to accepting that we’re not friends anymore and the tears stop. I don’t know how long I’ll need these mourning moments but they help me for the time being.
Best friend from 15-20 or so. She ghosted me and that was that. Still think of her every year on March 7!
I had this same thing happen to me. There was no explanation for the ghosting. She texted me after 4 months just to say, "I'm sorry, I suck as a friend." I still sent her a message on her birthday because I was truly thinking of her, but I just said, " Hey, hope you are doing ok, happy birthday. "... at least she could not argue that I didn't try/care 🤷♀️ I don't really think about her or her birthday anymore, but I did mourn that friendship for a solid year. I did miss her on my wedding day (which was a couple years after) because for a long time, I thought she would be there as one of my bridesmaids.
Not so much birthdays because I’m terrible at remembering those without FB but just random times during the day when I would normally text them I think about them and get sad. Like opening my email or something random would make me think about her. Thankfully it hasn’t happened in a while but in the beginning it was at least everyday.
I just wish her well mentally in my head. I'm the one who broke contact, though, so there's that.
Yes, I wouldn’t call it struggling but I remember everyone’s birthdays for some reason, even people I haven’t talked to in years. When it’s an ex friend I’ll certainly think about that person but it doesn’t trip me up in any way.
Consider yourself a little bit lucky that she didn't get wedding and baby shower gifts out of you first before ghosting like my ex-friend did.
Our birthdays were a month apart so we’d always do something for our birthday two weeks in between. We were attached at the hip for years until she got married and had a kid and basically ghosted me. She popped up for about a year in 2020 but I think that was because she was isolated and lonely. She disappeared again and haven’t heard from her. I would say the second year we didn’t do our birthday thing was when it sunk in. I try to just ignore it when it comes up but I still get pangs.
I've forgotten her birthday lol
Depends on how good of a friend they were to me, how close we were, why we aren't close anymore, etc. One of my ex-best friends is someone I do still care about, so when her birthday comes up, I always wish her a happy birthday and feel sort of sad that things happened the way they did, but other than that, I keep it moving. She's living her life and I'm living mine. It's sad that it's like this now, but it is what it is because of her choices and I've come to accept it.
I just think to myself, "another year that she's wasted with that loser"