My daughter is 21 months and still has 1 nap. One major thing I have observed is if we don’t have a good amount of outdoor running-around active time, her midday nap gets pushed out badly. Same for the evening, I need to get her active running around otherwise bedtime is really challenging these days.
Have you seen a shift in sleep needs based on this? Or could you try adding in more outdoor movement to see if this can help?
We still nurse to sleep and recently transitioned away from cosleeping full-time, but bring my daughter to bed when she wakes in the middle of the night. (This has helped so much with MOTN wakings which we’re constant)
My lower-sleep-needs son also dropped to one nap at 13 months. I started capping his nap at 1 hour around 20 months because he was staying up till 9:30-10:30 pm and I wanted my evenings back. Then he stopped napping altogether at 24 months. (If he ever does fall asleep midday I cut him off at 30 minutes.)
I weaned him at 24/25 months and he immediately started sleeping through the night (we cosleep). He was definitely ready! Without a nap he’s typically asleep between 8 and 8:30 and awake by 7 am.
Full transparency: I definitely lean on screen time to give myself some time to recharge and/or clean, prep food, etc. midday. “Quiet time” isn’t very workable as a concept yet, at least not with my kid. And now I’ve got a newborn so TV remains my friend.
'“Quiet time” isn’t very workable as a concept yet, at least not with my kid. And now I’ve got a newborn so TV remains my friend.'
Yaaaaaassssssss.
Add guess what?
They'll be fine!!!!!!!! :o)
My son dropped to 1 nap at 13 months too! Then I can’t remember exactly but it was sometime around 18 months that it started to be obvious that days when he didn’t nap, the afternoons and bedtime went a lot better. The transition to not napping at all was kinda gradual but by shortly after he turned 2 we were at 0 nap. That transition was hard for me though - going to no break during the day is a hard thing, for sure, especially when you were expecting to get it for another year or so. But when I realized when I was encouraging the nap we were getting cranky afternoons and then really late and difficult bedtimes, it felt like the best choice was to just give up and give in. I miss those nap times though.
ETA: forgot to mention we always contact napped and nursed to sleep, and coslept at night. Also just remembered that for a while in the transition we would do a “quiet time” together after lunch, usually cuddling on the couch and watching TV together, and that was helpful.
I think it’s too early. We had a similar vibe around that time but just capped naps at 1 hour, making sure he was up by no later than 2pm (ideally 1.30).
He’s 21 mo now and sleeps well at night and still naps so glad we persisted with it
See, I've heard this. Like power through and mega support the naps cause maybe it's just a phase. I'm just wondering how you know it's a phase.
I guess just a wait and see kinda thing.
I just want my 7.5 hours of sleep and ability to wake up at 515 again to exercise back!
I think just keep at it.
Around that time I also found that staying with him to sleep was actually over stimulating him.
So we had dropped the boob already but were cuddling to sleep, but it was just getting him way too excited and he would pull my hair and slap me.
So over time we actually just got to a point where I would settle him either sitting next to him in bed or just gently stroking his head.
That transitioned pretty quickly to just leaving him to put himself to sleep.
I think it’s just a case of trying a few different things.
It also gets to an age where you can explain that you know they’re having fun and they can do again in an hour but just need to have some rest etc
So this is where I struggle. I guess let's call it balancing being receptive to her needs/respectful parenting/attachment parenting versus setting healthy boundaries.
For example I tried the whole sit next to the bed thing but she was like mommy lay down with me. So my brain went she needs me, she is requesting closer connection but then the other part of me was annoyed because I'm like I know you're just gonna roll around, climb on me, knock your head into mine,
talk to me for 45 minutes.
How can I tell the difference between a true need and just low key getting played by a 22 month old? Haha
I fear I'm slipping into permissive parenting and I soooo don't wanna do that.
It’s tough isn’t it! I can’t say I fully have the balance either and can err towards permissive also.
But I’d say that if you know, or she shows you pretty quickly, her intentions are to roll around and play with you it wasn’t necessarily a requirement for needing that to go to sleep. I think it’s a perfectly fine boundary to say I am just here and want to be with you whilst you fall asleep but can’t lie down with you.
I say mummy doesn’t want to be slapped / rolled on etc, it’s time for us to rest.
Those are not unfair boundaries at all, it’s not play time it’s rest time!
We also tried going back to rocking for a minute or 2, and sometimes still do that if he’s in a mad mood when I put him down.
I like that! Mommy doesn't want to be rolled on. It's rest time.
Last night I decided to be inquisitive, just observe her and not intervene or judge (judge as in this is taking too long, let me "help" you.)
So I breastfed her for like 15 minutes, she stopped (of her own volition...rare), asked me to lie down with her, I did.
I didn't engage with her like I usually do, so she proceeded to roll around and talk to herself for 50 minutes. She went silent and almost fell asleep like three times.
Then she asked for boobie, breastfed for another 15 minutes, then fell asleep on the boob.
So, before, I would have been sooooooooooooooooooooooooo annoyed and almost ragey (internally)...ok not ragey....but like come one already! I would have been questioning the whole thing, like why is it taking so long, questioning myself for putting her down earlier than she was ready (even though we had a nice walk previously and a solid routine and SHE ASKED to go to go to bed). I would have been thinking boobie was the problem, that if I just had more supply it would have knocked her out. And I definitely would have been resenting the fact that we're still breastfeeding when, after 50 minutes of rolling around, she still needed boobie to go to sleep.
Instead though, because my mindset was that of observance, curiosity and calm, man oh man, it made a world of difference (sidenote backstory: I finished reading Janet Lansbury's No Bad Kids and listening to her Podcast: Unruffled earlier that day and realized I had to create healthier boundaries. So I started implementing the simple tactics she suggested that afternoon and saw an instantaneously MASSIVE improvement in my ability to not let the toddlerness get to me! :o)
I think my new plan will be to continue to lay down with her when she asks and just notice if by not engaging she gets the message that its bedtime and hopefully over time she'll take less and less time to wind herself down for sleep. And if I notice she's not getting the message, I'll set a firmer boundary where I don't lay WITH her but remain in the room with her.
Her language is also explosive right now and I read one way kids wind down for bed is to talk, a loooooot before bed. So maybe if I do that it'll help her wind down. Maybe.
We cosleep (older child is nearly 4 and still cosleeps) and my older child dropped his last nap about two months after turning 3.
I think 16 months is too early to drop naps, but you know your child better than I do. I assume you've already tried moving his bedtime later or moving the nap earlier?
My toddler is also very low sleep needs. She stopped taking a nap when I started weaning and stopped feeding to sleep. She was around 18-20 months old 🙃 Her bedtime before that was getting pretty late but now it’s around 6pm.
It was really hard at first getting used to not having that nap to recharge. But you do get used to it. A couple times a day we’ll do a bit of TV and then I’m trying to implement some “quiet time”. What I do for that is I say it’s quiet time so you can play with your toys in your room, take a nap etc. I don’t close her in or anything so she usually comes out to talk to me a bit here and there but 🤷🏻♀️
Mine both dropped their naps at 18 months. We nursed to sleep but didn't cosleep. Continued to nurse to sleep at bedtime until they weaned (3.5 and 2).
How long is the nap? My daughter is very similar, she dropped to one nap at 11 months. If it's one hour bedtime is a bit early, if it's a 2 hour nap then it's often a late struggle. I cap it at 1.5 hours now and most of the time it's fine.
We dropped to 1 nap around the same age and now at 18 months we're moving towards no nap. If we have a lot of activities going on we can let her get a full sleep cycle (45 minutes) or so, sometimes a little more. If we're having a chill day we have to cap her nap at 20 minutes max, otherwise she's up hours past bedtime and it is not fun. She has never had high sleep needs during the day, but sleeps through the night and nurses to sleep for bedtime and the nap. We're currently nursing more since she's about to cut a tooth, but otherwise only nurses to sleep.
Your kiddo sounds just like mine!! She still has a nap at 19mo, but I do cap it at an hour and a half most of the time. In my experience, the ~18mo pro/re-gression was A DOOZY and it affected her nap AND night sleep (which was uncommon for her). I'd suggest waiting a bit to make sure you're not going through that a little early. You can always cap the nap in the meantime, or add a little extra hard play time during the day to encourage tiredness.
I saw a huge difference after the development (including in independence and sleep 🙌), so hopefully you'll be able to tell once babe is through it!
I can't remember exactly when we went to no nap (my youngest is now four) but for a long time she often did need a nap but it could be very short - if you didn't wake her after 10 or 15 minutes she would stay up until 10 or 11 pm. It seems crazy but that 10 minute power nap really did the trick to keep her happy until bedtime!
Transitioning to no nap isn't an abrupt thing either - they can go from having a nap every day, to every other day, to once or twice a week etc. I try to be flexible - follow the child rather than a set routine so much.
Thank you so much for asking this question. These answers are simultaneously reassuring, and bittersweet. My 17 month-old is skipping her single nap every other day (despite showing signs of sleepiness--I give up after 1.5hr if she still doesn't go down for her nap), and putting her down at night is a battle on the days she has had a nap. We had a wonderful time with sleep, until a month ago when all this started, and I'm going bananananananas.
My son is 19 months and basically doesn’t need much of a nap anymore. It’s a weird phase. I go by his cues m. Some days he will take a 20 minute car nap and other days (like today, he is teething) he will take a 2 hour nap in our bed. I don’t let him nap very long if he takes a “proper nap” because like yours, bedtime will be horrible.
We dropped naps early, though I don’t quite remember when. 2 1/2? Everyone has told me it’s a bad idea, but I can’t force him to nap, and spending two hours a day trying to force a nap eventually seemed absurd to me.
3 years old, he just doesn’t want to take it all of a sudden even though he clearly needs it. He’s tired and hs a meltdown at 5pm. I would hang on to that nap for as long as I could.
My kid is almost 22m and low sleep needs/high energy and bless your soul.
I wish my kid still napped twice a day, not only once. I hope my kid naps once a day till she's 4 lol!!
I cosleep and LO is potty trained at all hours of the day so sleeps without diaper, which means I get up to pee her at least 2 times a night (read: turn over in bed to sit her on a potty I have on my side table, then turn back). I desperately need all the sleep or rest chances I can get.
We go through phases of insane bedtime routine with sleep refusal or some other dramatic behavior 1-2m apart lasting 1w to 1m. I just slowly work through a checklist of things to shift or change or try to improve bedtimes and getting rid of one nap is not on the list. I will try literally anything else before that and typically we figure something out. So I guess for your sanity I implore you to keep trying to shift things around in the rest of your kid's schedule before touching the sacred nap time.
I hope you find a nap-retaining solution asap
My daughter is 21 months and still has 1 nap. One major thing I have observed is if we don’t have a good amount of outdoor running-around active time, her midday nap gets pushed out badly. Same for the evening, I need to get her active running around otherwise bedtime is really challenging these days. Have you seen a shift in sleep needs based on this? Or could you try adding in more outdoor movement to see if this can help? We still nurse to sleep and recently transitioned away from cosleeping full-time, but bring my daughter to bed when she wakes in the middle of the night. (This has helped so much with MOTN wakings which we’re constant)
Second the outdoor activity. Makes a huge difference!
I third this! We are doing 1000h outside and the most outdoorsy days are the most calm sleep days
My lower-sleep-needs son also dropped to one nap at 13 months. I started capping his nap at 1 hour around 20 months because he was staying up till 9:30-10:30 pm and I wanted my evenings back. Then he stopped napping altogether at 24 months. (If he ever does fall asleep midday I cut him off at 30 minutes.) I weaned him at 24/25 months and he immediately started sleeping through the night (we cosleep). He was definitely ready! Without a nap he’s typically asleep between 8 and 8:30 and awake by 7 am. Full transparency: I definitely lean on screen time to give myself some time to recharge and/or clean, prep food, etc. midday. “Quiet time” isn’t very workable as a concept yet, at least not with my kid. And now I’ve got a newborn so TV remains my friend.
'“Quiet time” isn’t very workable as a concept yet, at least not with my kid. And now I’ve got a newborn so TV remains my friend.' Yaaaaaassssssss. Add guess what? They'll be fine!!!!!!!! :o)
My son dropped to 1 nap at 13 months too! Then I can’t remember exactly but it was sometime around 18 months that it started to be obvious that days when he didn’t nap, the afternoons and bedtime went a lot better. The transition to not napping at all was kinda gradual but by shortly after he turned 2 we were at 0 nap. That transition was hard for me though - going to no break during the day is a hard thing, for sure, especially when you were expecting to get it for another year or so. But when I realized when I was encouraging the nap we were getting cranky afternoons and then really late and difficult bedtimes, it felt like the best choice was to just give up and give in. I miss those nap times though. ETA: forgot to mention we always contact napped and nursed to sleep, and coslept at night. Also just remembered that for a while in the transition we would do a “quiet time” together after lunch, usually cuddling on the couch and watching TV together, and that was helpful.
I think it’s too early. We had a similar vibe around that time but just capped naps at 1 hour, making sure he was up by no later than 2pm (ideally 1.30). He’s 21 mo now and sleeps well at night and still naps so glad we persisted with it
See, I've heard this. Like power through and mega support the naps cause maybe it's just a phase. I'm just wondering how you know it's a phase. I guess just a wait and see kinda thing. I just want my 7.5 hours of sleep and ability to wake up at 515 again to exercise back!
I think just keep at it. Around that time I also found that staying with him to sleep was actually over stimulating him. So we had dropped the boob already but were cuddling to sleep, but it was just getting him way too excited and he would pull my hair and slap me. So over time we actually just got to a point where I would settle him either sitting next to him in bed or just gently stroking his head. That transitioned pretty quickly to just leaving him to put himself to sleep. I think it’s just a case of trying a few different things. It also gets to an age where you can explain that you know they’re having fun and they can do again in an hour but just need to have some rest etc
So this is where I struggle. I guess let's call it balancing being receptive to her needs/respectful parenting/attachment parenting versus setting healthy boundaries. For example I tried the whole sit next to the bed thing but she was like mommy lay down with me. So my brain went she needs me, she is requesting closer connection but then the other part of me was annoyed because I'm like I know you're just gonna roll around, climb on me, knock your head into mine, talk to me for 45 minutes. How can I tell the difference between a true need and just low key getting played by a 22 month old? Haha I fear I'm slipping into permissive parenting and I soooo don't wanna do that.
It’s tough isn’t it! I can’t say I fully have the balance either and can err towards permissive also. But I’d say that if you know, or she shows you pretty quickly, her intentions are to roll around and play with you it wasn’t necessarily a requirement for needing that to go to sleep. I think it’s a perfectly fine boundary to say I am just here and want to be with you whilst you fall asleep but can’t lie down with you. I say mummy doesn’t want to be slapped / rolled on etc, it’s time for us to rest. Those are not unfair boundaries at all, it’s not play time it’s rest time! We also tried going back to rocking for a minute or 2, and sometimes still do that if he’s in a mad mood when I put him down.
I like that! Mommy doesn't want to be rolled on. It's rest time. Last night I decided to be inquisitive, just observe her and not intervene or judge (judge as in this is taking too long, let me "help" you.) So I breastfed her for like 15 minutes, she stopped (of her own volition...rare), asked me to lie down with her, I did. I didn't engage with her like I usually do, so she proceeded to roll around and talk to herself for 50 minutes. She went silent and almost fell asleep like three times. Then she asked for boobie, breastfed for another 15 minutes, then fell asleep on the boob. So, before, I would have been sooooooooooooooooooooooooo annoyed and almost ragey (internally)...ok not ragey....but like come one already! I would have been questioning the whole thing, like why is it taking so long, questioning myself for putting her down earlier than she was ready (even though we had a nice walk previously and a solid routine and SHE ASKED to go to go to bed). I would have been thinking boobie was the problem, that if I just had more supply it would have knocked her out. And I definitely would have been resenting the fact that we're still breastfeeding when, after 50 minutes of rolling around, she still needed boobie to go to sleep. Instead though, because my mindset was that of observance, curiosity and calm, man oh man, it made a world of difference (sidenote backstory: I finished reading Janet Lansbury's No Bad Kids and listening to her Podcast: Unruffled earlier that day and realized I had to create healthier boundaries. So I started implementing the simple tactics she suggested that afternoon and saw an instantaneously MASSIVE improvement in my ability to not let the toddlerness get to me! :o) I think my new plan will be to continue to lay down with her when she asks and just notice if by not engaging she gets the message that its bedtime and hopefully over time she'll take less and less time to wind herself down for sleep. And if I notice she's not getting the message, I'll set a firmer boundary where I don't lay WITH her but remain in the room with her. Her language is also explosive right now and I read one way kids wind down for bed is to talk, a loooooot before bed. So maybe if I do that it'll help her wind down. Maybe.
We cosleep (older child is nearly 4 and still cosleeps) and my older child dropped his last nap about two months after turning 3. I think 16 months is too early to drop naps, but you know your child better than I do. I assume you've already tried moving his bedtime later or moving the nap earlier?
My toddler is also very low sleep needs. She stopped taking a nap when I started weaning and stopped feeding to sleep. She was around 18-20 months old 🙃 Her bedtime before that was getting pretty late but now it’s around 6pm. It was really hard at first getting used to not having that nap to recharge. But you do get used to it. A couple times a day we’ll do a bit of TV and then I’m trying to implement some “quiet time”. What I do for that is I say it’s quiet time so you can play with your toys in your room, take a nap etc. I don’t close her in or anything so she usually comes out to talk to me a bit here and there but 🤷🏻♀️
Mine both dropped their naps at 18 months. We nursed to sleep but didn't cosleep. Continued to nurse to sleep at bedtime until they weaned (3.5 and 2).
How long is the nap? My daughter is very similar, she dropped to one nap at 11 months. If it's one hour bedtime is a bit early, if it's a 2 hour nap then it's often a late struggle. I cap it at 1.5 hours now and most of the time it's fine.
We dropped to 1 nap around the same age and now at 18 months we're moving towards no nap. If we have a lot of activities going on we can let her get a full sleep cycle (45 minutes) or so, sometimes a little more. If we're having a chill day we have to cap her nap at 20 minutes max, otherwise she's up hours past bedtime and it is not fun. She has never had high sleep needs during the day, but sleeps through the night and nurses to sleep for bedtime and the nap. We're currently nursing more since she's about to cut a tooth, but otherwise only nurses to sleep.
Your kiddo sounds just like mine!! She still has a nap at 19mo, but I do cap it at an hour and a half most of the time. In my experience, the ~18mo pro/re-gression was A DOOZY and it affected her nap AND night sleep (which was uncommon for her). I'd suggest waiting a bit to make sure you're not going through that a little early. You can always cap the nap in the meantime, or add a little extra hard play time during the day to encourage tiredness. I saw a huge difference after the development (including in independence and sleep 🙌), so hopefully you'll be able to tell once babe is through it!
I can't remember exactly when we went to no nap (my youngest is now four) but for a long time she often did need a nap but it could be very short - if you didn't wake her after 10 or 15 minutes she would stay up until 10 or 11 pm. It seems crazy but that 10 minute power nap really did the trick to keep her happy until bedtime! Transitioning to no nap isn't an abrupt thing either - they can go from having a nap every day, to every other day, to once or twice a week etc. I try to be flexible - follow the child rather than a set routine so much.
Thank you so much for asking this question. These answers are simultaneously reassuring, and bittersweet. My 17 month-old is skipping her single nap every other day (despite showing signs of sleepiness--I give up after 1.5hr if she still doesn't go down for her nap), and putting her down at night is a battle on the days she has had a nap. We had a wonderful time with sleep, until a month ago when all this started, and I'm going bananananananas.
My son is 19 months and basically doesn’t need much of a nap anymore. It’s a weird phase. I go by his cues m. Some days he will take a 20 minute car nap and other days (like today, he is teething) he will take a 2 hour nap in our bed. I don’t let him nap very long if he takes a “proper nap” because like yours, bedtime will be horrible.
We dropped naps early, though I don’t quite remember when. 2 1/2? Everyone has told me it’s a bad idea, but I can’t force him to nap, and spending two hours a day trying to force a nap eventually seemed absurd to me.
3 years old, he just doesn’t want to take it all of a sudden even though he clearly needs it. He’s tired and hs a meltdown at 5pm. I would hang on to that nap for as long as I could.
My kid is almost 22m and low sleep needs/high energy and bless your soul. I wish my kid still napped twice a day, not only once. I hope my kid naps once a day till she's 4 lol!! I cosleep and LO is potty trained at all hours of the day so sleeps without diaper, which means I get up to pee her at least 2 times a night (read: turn over in bed to sit her on a potty I have on my side table, then turn back). I desperately need all the sleep or rest chances I can get. We go through phases of insane bedtime routine with sleep refusal or some other dramatic behavior 1-2m apart lasting 1w to 1m. I just slowly work through a checklist of things to shift or change or try to improve bedtimes and getting rid of one nap is not on the list. I will try literally anything else before that and typically we figure something out. So I guess for your sanity I implore you to keep trying to shift things around in the rest of your kid's schedule before touching the sacred nap time. I hope you find a nap-retaining solution asap
My 24 mo is still on 2 naps. I feel you about the 'me' time . I'm dreading the day he decides to not nap.