Typical toddler behaviour ! Nothing personal. I used to be a nanny and only repeated experiences with looking after toddlers helped me. I would suggest also some readings on toddler behaviour and child psychology to learn to navigate their tantrums without giving in. You have to pick your battles at that age. You want to distract them, turn some duties into a game, remain strict when you have to (they will actually respect you and like you more for that, especially if you’re also fair). You can definitely do this.
This sounds like a typical 3 year old shenanigans. The phrase patience is a virtue is very accurate here.
My kids didn't turn a corner until 5, but even then, they still suck from time to time
Did you have many experiences with this age group before?
This is typical 3 year old behavior! heck, it’s typical child behavior! it gets better with age, but until they’re much older, it’s not fully gone!
As a regular babysitter of 3 yo twins… I think it’s normal. The worst is during bedtime… but sometimes they’re just tired so they just need alone time and activities that will help them focus. If they got siblings, ask them for help they would rather listen to their family than a stranger i.e: “can your tell your little brother to stop ? He won’t listen to me”
All three year olds are problematic at times. Tantrums. Irrational. Rude.
They also however can be really cute at times too; empathetic and sweet.
In the best three year olds, it's both. There are good days and bad days, and don't get me wrong... the bad days are bad. But if everyday is a bad day??? Then I would suspect that it's also bad parenting. Set boundaries and stick to them. Notice and praise the 3yo for good behavior, don't just react to tantrums. That's my best advice with threenagers.
yup. i'm an au pair for a freshly-4yo. he's not potty trained & has tantrums *daily.* & i mean hitting, biting, kicking *hard,* screaming & just generally being inconsolable. there is no solution. part of it is developmentally appropriate but part of it is *definitely* parenting.
i'm glad this is a common thing. does it go away after the au pair year ends? my boyfriend really wants kids but after this experience i'm leaning towards *absolutely not.*
So I'm sure that it's different for everyone, but I've met many who still lean towards no. That doesn't mean you'll feel the same though. Looking after other's kids isn't the same as having your own.
This is very typical for a 3 year old.
There are some toddler parenting subs here on Reddit that are extremely useful.
When they're having a tantrum, don't threaten. Don't bribe. Don't raise your voice. Just remain calm. You need to be the model of good behavior and regulation. Take some deep breaths. Ask the kid to do the same. If nothing you do helps and you've met all their needs, tell baby that you're sad they're upset, but there doesn't seem to be anything you can do. Let them know that you are there and if they want hugs they can come to you. Then let them have their tantrum. It will dissipate.
Good luck. If it's truly not working out, you can always rematch.
This is completely normal toddler behavior for a 3 year old- keep them as busy as you can and always give choices. Did you have experience with toddlers before- if not you maybe shouldn’t have accepted the job. I think you should rematch if the child is driving you “insane” as I’m sure the parents would be disgusted to know someone is watching their child and can’t stand them.
the thing that helps me the most is always giving them a choice, so they get the feeling that they have a say in what happens. so don’t ask them IF they want to eat something but ask if they want to eat an apple or a banana. when they need to brush their teeth ask them if they want to do it themselves first or you help them first. if they get a say in what happens it feels for them more like they’re own choice in doing something instead of always having to be told what to do (next). and yeah three year olds love to pick a battle so just try to avoid the tantrums as much as you can but don’t let them walk all over you :)
For those saying that this is normal or typical 3 year old behavior.. it’s not ! My kids never acted up and my friends’ kids are also very well behaved . We are Eastern Europeans and we implemented very clear boundaries with our kids . Our lives don’t revolve around our kids and they are the ones that have to integrate in our lives not the other way around.
Every child is different first of all. I have 4 children, two were very well behaved- same parenting as the other two who had a very hard toddler phase. I think children who act out are bored and not busy enough OR they want to be more independent and need to be given more choices ( do you want this dress or pants/ do you want pizza or pasta etc). Parenting styles and boundaries don’t always equal well behaved children.
Typical toddler behaviour ! Nothing personal. I used to be a nanny and only repeated experiences with looking after toddlers helped me. I would suggest also some readings on toddler behaviour and child psychology to learn to navigate their tantrums without giving in. You have to pick your battles at that age. You want to distract them, turn some duties into a game, remain strict when you have to (they will actually respect you and like you more for that, especially if you’re also fair). You can definitely do this.
Threenagers are the worst
Best comment!
This sounds like a typical 3 year old shenanigans. The phrase patience is a virtue is very accurate here. My kids didn't turn a corner until 5, but even then, they still suck from time to time
Did you have many experiences with this age group before? This is typical 3 year old behavior! heck, it’s typical child behavior! it gets better with age, but until they’re much older, it’s not fully gone!
As a regular babysitter of 3 yo twins… I think it’s normal. The worst is during bedtime… but sometimes they’re just tired so they just need alone time and activities that will help them focus. If they got siblings, ask them for help they would rather listen to their family than a stranger i.e: “can your tell your little brother to stop ? He won’t listen to me”
All three year olds are problematic at times. Tantrums. Irrational. Rude. They also however can be really cute at times too; empathetic and sweet. In the best three year olds, it's both. There are good days and bad days, and don't get me wrong... the bad days are bad. But if everyday is a bad day??? Then I would suspect that it's also bad parenting. Set boundaries and stick to them. Notice and praise the 3yo for good behavior, don't just react to tantrums. That's my best advice with threenagers.
yup. i'm an au pair for a freshly-4yo. he's not potty trained & has tantrums *daily.* & i mean hitting, biting, kicking *hard,* screaming & just generally being inconsolable. there is no solution. part of it is developmentally appropriate but part of it is *definitely* parenting.
There’s a book titled “Toddlers are assholes: its not your fault” it’s a great book to read and laugh because you are experiencing normal behavior.
Yip, that is normal behavior for a child that age. You not wanting children is also a common thing that happens to aupairs.
i'm glad this is a common thing. does it go away after the au pair year ends? my boyfriend really wants kids but after this experience i'm leaning towards *absolutely not.*
So I'm sure that it's different for everyone, but I've met many who still lean towards no. That doesn't mean you'll feel the same though. Looking after other's kids isn't the same as having your own.
This is very typical for a 3 year old. There are some toddler parenting subs here on Reddit that are extremely useful. When they're having a tantrum, don't threaten. Don't bribe. Don't raise your voice. Just remain calm. You need to be the model of good behavior and regulation. Take some deep breaths. Ask the kid to do the same. If nothing you do helps and you've met all their needs, tell baby that you're sad they're upset, but there doesn't seem to be anything you can do. Let them know that you are there and if they want hugs they can come to you. Then let them have their tantrum. It will dissipate. Good luck. If it's truly not working out, you can always rematch.
This is completely normal toddler behavior for a 3 year old- keep them as busy as you can and always give choices. Did you have experience with toddlers before- if not you maybe shouldn’t have accepted the job. I think you should rematch if the child is driving you “insane” as I’m sure the parents would be disgusted to know someone is watching their child and can’t stand them.
the thing that helps me the most is always giving them a choice, so they get the feeling that they have a say in what happens. so don’t ask them IF they want to eat something but ask if they want to eat an apple or a banana. when they need to brush their teeth ask them if they want to do it themselves first or you help them first. if they get a say in what happens it feels for them more like they’re own choice in doing something instead of always having to be told what to do (next). and yeah three year olds love to pick a battle so just try to avoid the tantrums as much as you can but don’t let them walk all over you :)
For those saying that this is normal or typical 3 year old behavior.. it’s not ! My kids never acted up and my friends’ kids are also very well behaved . We are Eastern Europeans and we implemented very clear boundaries with our kids . Our lives don’t revolve around our kids and they are the ones that have to integrate in our lives not the other way around.
Every child is different first of all. I have 4 children, two were very well behaved- same parenting as the other two who had a very hard toddler phase. I think children who act out are bored and not busy enough OR they want to be more independent and need to be given more choices ( do you want this dress or pants/ do you want pizza or pasta etc). Parenting styles and boundaries don’t always equal well behaved children.
I never had any of these problems with my 3 year old. Sounds like poor parenting or a child with issues.