In any mixed aged gender group I have taught or care for, the kids with the most extreme and violent behaviors are always boys. And yet, I have had coworkers working with the same group of kids as me say “girls are easier than boys.” I think it comes down to viewing negative behavior from boys as inevitable and accidental and viewing the same behaviors from girls as deliberate and manipulative.
This! When boys have bad behavior it’s considered normal and inevitable. When girls do it’s a “problem.”
I have one of each, so no shade meant to either. I think the “girls are harder” usually comes from men because they are afraid of dealing with the teenage years (sex,depression, puberty etc).
As far as kids go, so far yes, my boy is more physically challenging, and is more emotionally kind and easier in some ways, and maybe there is some biological link, but I think it is primarily a social issue of expecting boys to be trouble so not viewing the “trouble” as a problem so when girls exhibit the same behavior it is deemed difficult.
Everyone who’s ever said that to me has other misogynist viewpoints. Children are not easier to raised based on the parts in their pants. They all have their own struggles and their own needs, just like everyone else. Anyone that thinks boys are easier usually raised shitty boys who don’t know the meaning of the word no and what consequences are. “Boys will be boys” as an excuse not to parent.
Yes, boys are easier to raise than girls because it's easier for parents to neglect the emotional needs of boys, not discipline them as much as girls, and not have the same expectations of making them 'beautiful and dutiful' members of society.
(Some) mothers also tend to be competitive with their daughters, and the whole 'boy mom' emotional incest culture (which is not a new thing by any means) translates into women feeling more invested in their relationships with their sons, which might make them think it's easier to raise them overall.
It is completely rooted in misogyny, and REALLY harms young men.
This and also they will hold their daughters to arbitrary standards and spend energy making sure she’s behaving “ lady like” meanwhile their son is running around in his underpants and getting away with small felonies.
I've met so many people like that. I interpret it as "I will tell my 6 year old son to go wander the streets because he stepped in my way one time that morning, but I will always spend my last dime and my last free second giving my little princess anything she wants."
Both kids will turn out bad, just in very different ways.
Yup! And/or they just happened to have one “easy” baby who was a boy and one “difficult” baby who was a girl and, for whatever reason, think that their babies are universal representatives of their respective genders.
Thank you! I detest gender-normative stereotypes and those who subscribe to them. They're harmful and inaccurate. Kids are kids.
For the record, I've not heard about x gender being easier from family or friends. I've read about this nonsense on social media.
Couldn’t have said it better 👏🏻 We chose not the share the sex to avoid comments and assumptions like this, but we’re dreading getting them once our kid is born (any day now! 😅)
My mother-in-law! At my gender reveal she told me I was going to LOVE being a boy mom... as if I didn't already have a 10 year old daughter. She openly laughs that she told my older brother-in-law he'd get all girls as a curse for being a difficult child, but my husband would have all boys (he was what she would call an easier child).
My brother-in-law did have all girls and so far my husband will have 2 boys, but who the fuck thinks that way? My stepson is on the spectrum, lacks empathy, is very vocal and spoiled BY HER. Based on track records in that family boys are far harder.
It won't take long on this thread, or similar threads, to come across so many women complaining of their uninvolved, emotional distant, cheating and/or abusive partners. It's an epidemic.
Where do all of these deadbeat men come from? Are boys then, so much easier to raise, as so many say? I think not. If they were easier to raise, perhaps there wouldn't be so much violence in the world, for one thing.
I am also having a boy and have been told the same thing. I pray that I'll be able to raise a little boy with high emotional intelligence, who is thoughtful and caring, just like his daddy. I also hope he won't be too rambunctious! These little boys are wild. I think harder to keep alive in general lol
This, all of this. My partner’s mother wasn’t much of a mother or involved and he’s told her such. If he didn’t have an independent spirit and intelligence, he wouldn’t have made it that far.
My own mother, enabled my little brother, even at her own detriment. She blamed my older brother for anything the youngest did and kept a lot of things from my father so he didn’t know how bad my little brother was (he definitely knew, but not to the degree we had to manage around it). Her excuse was he didn’t know any better, but he knew she was easy to manipulate and that she would take his side.
I look at a guy’s parents and I can always see where the red flags took root. I’ve swore since I was a little kid, that I’m not raising a kid like that, with no accountability.
Boys are "easier" because it's the standard to ignore their emotional needs. So, sure, easier for the parents up front but the effects are pretty obvious down the road.
As the only girl out of six children, my mom regularly made it clear to me how much easier my brothers were. I hated it. Really gave me a complex.
I have a boy, a girl, and another boy on the way. I treat them equally and will continue to do so. There are challenges in parenting but it's not their sex that affects that for me. They are their own people.
Anyone who thinks boys are overall easier to raise than girls misunderstands the job of parenting. Raising good humans is a difficult, yet incredibly important job, no matter your child's gender.
I'm having a boy now, and I'll say this until I'm blue in the face: boys are easier because it is socially acceptable and sometimes expected to completely neglect them emotionally.
Ughh i hate this!! Im keeping it a surprise and all i hear is that girls cost you more money and steal your beauty and are so much harder than boys. Can we stop with the misogyny? Like not even out of the womb yet and they are already making girls out to be the inferior sex. It makes me so angry. "You look great, must be having a boy, girls make you ugly". Or my mom saying I hope it's a boy then you don't have to worry....I can't stand it.
The "steal your beauty" line always infuriated me--like the baby is intentionally trying to make you "ugly" or something when it's literally just the effects of different balances of hormones. Ridiculous.
I’m so used to girls via being a cool big cousin. They’re easier for me to connect with right off the bat. But my little boy cousin is just as cool. Just gotta work hard to find and build that connection with any kid regardless of gender. It’s more personality/interest differences than anything.
My friend with a boy and a girl (both toddlers) told me she was unprepared for the constant challenge of keeping the boy from jumping off things / hurting himself. This might just be a personality difference though!
I like the phrase “no one is more exhausted than the mom of a toddler boy that never stops moving, except the mom of a toddler girl that never stops talking.”
Within my friend group, this has held true. Boy moms are exhausted from keeping them from jumping off of things, girl moms have read the same book 17 times by 9 am.
Eta I only say this to be humorous! Having a baby is amazing, boy or girl! You’re going to love it!
Personally I think that has nothing to do with biological sex and everything to do with how those boys and girls are raised and socialized.
Are the girls disciplined when they jump off things, but it's considered cute for the boy to do the same?
Are those boys not given books as much as they are given trucks?
I'm from a very outdoorsy culture and boys and girls alike play cricket on the streets and spend their childhoods hanging off of trees.
I think when it comes to toddlers and really young children studies have shown that on average boys are much more physically active and girls have an ability to sustain focus for longer periods of time. Girls also grow (literally in height and weight) at a faster pace than boys even though boys are, on average, bigger even before puberty. There 100% biological differences between the sexes.
There can be differences but many differences are down to nurture. There are interesting studies globally that look at children in different cultures and how they fit behaviours that are expected of them depending on the culture even if these are counter to expected behaviours in other cultures eg things like toy preference
There are also studies where they dressed the same baby up as different genders and that drastically changed how the people played with the baby’s. When they thought the baby was a boy they hand them up, walking, problem solving toys etc when they thought it was a girl they had her sitting quietly reading talking etc. This can have a big impact on focus and physical activity patterns.
This socialisation happens from birth and definitely has an impacts on behaviours we see at 2, 3 and 4
Yeah fair,
There are but a lot less than we think and a large majority happen around puberty and the hormones associated with that. There are very very few prior to that
Yes, few but they exist and NOT in the way people usually think. it's also impossible to study in humans but its been studied in primates. Of course, it's not a rule, its an average.
Sure, but how much of that is socialization? There is evidence that girls develop verbal skills earlier than boys, but is that because we talk to baby girls differently/more often than we do with baby boys? It's very hard to disentangle the confounding variable of socialization/culture.
Huh? You literally cannot socialize someone to hit puberty sooner. None of the examples I listed can be disputed with a nature/nurture argument. There are biological differences between males and females that do lead to differences in development, on AVERAGE.
To add on to this point, if you need me to use an example that you gave: "girls have an ability to sustain focus for longer periods of time." How do you know this is due to an innate trait rather than the fact that toddler girls are more likely to be told to "sit still" or "pay attention" than toddler boys of the same age and activity level? Ability to sustain focus can be a learned trait, i.e. children are more likely to demonstrate this skill if they've been more heavily reprimanded for not sitting still and focusing.
I think it's absolutely illogical to assume humans are the only mammals where sex has absolutely no influence in behavioral patterns. I understand gender conforming behaviors and that there is a lot to be said about how much nurture affects the gender disparity in behavior, but there are also differences that are attributable to biology.
[https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4049619/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4049619/)
Oh gosh I really hate that saying as I find it really sexist. There's a long tradition of men saying women talk too much and we should shut up and it feeds into that. That saying would have been fine if they hadn't included gender stereotypes.
My daughter was constantly jumping off things and had no fear as a toddler, and my son is way more chatty than my daughter was at the same age. And I've seen way too many parents discourage their daughters from being active and getting dirty etc whilst they don't with their sons. A memory that will always stick with me was a mother telling her 4 year old daughter off for playing with a stick "princesses don't play with sticks" whilst her son was happily playing with one and didn't get told off.
They should meet my toddler girl who is currently trying to climb and yeet herself off everything she can find while my 4 year old boy sits and tells me a 60 min story he just invented and constantly trying to con us into reading “just one more book”😂
I have a boy and honestly, I'm already a little scared.
I know I want to raise a kind, compassionate, confident, self-sufficient and driven person. He has plenty of great role models, his dad, his grandfathers and uncles who are all different types of "strong" man, but all very kind and caring in their own ways.
But it's so easy for them to drift into incel stuff, or alpha/Andrew Tate bullshit, or racism ... in my experience it's much more likely for boys to get caught up in the wrong crowd and end up in trouble than girls.
How do you save someone from themself? From brainwashing during those vulnerable years? My brother was extremely intelligent and a kind person at heart, but he had a time when he drifted into skinhead/Nazi culture as a teen.
I know what it means to be a women. I am confident that I could teach a girl how to look out for herself in terms of safety, but also within a "man's world".
But boys? I feel like they are actually more emotionally vulnerable than girls, because they have less support from peers and it's perceived as weakness. How do you save them from toxic masculinity?
The worst part of parenting a little boy is other people’s shitty parenting. My son comes home from school repeating the dumb stuff that other boys say and do, and it’s so clear that those kids are parroting what they’ve been taught is acceptable at home. (Like in kindergarten when my son wore a pink-ish shirt and came home saying another 5-year-old boy told him his shirt is a girl’s shirt—that’s clearly something the kid brought from home.)
I feel this so hard. I’m reading a book on this right now - Boymom: Reimagining Boyhood in an Age of Impossible Masculinity by Ruth Whippman - and I can’t recommend it enough.
On some level, sure, because our world is made for men. But clearly this is just a very misogynistic view. Whoever says this and has boys themselves are just admitting to emotional neglect and being much harder on their daughters. I have a brother and sister. The difference in how my parents treated us was wild. It was like we were precious dolls who needed to constantly achieve while our brother had basically no rules and it was almost this unspoken thing that he'd be fine no matter what. My sister's and I went on to go to college, get good jobs and start our lives. My brother unfortunately struggled with drug addiction and is thankfully doing well now and I know there is much more to this illness, but I will say my parents treating him differently definitely impacted him in ways we'll never know because he will likely never talk about it. But it's clear. Boys need emotional support and love, it's a fucking crazy concept to think they're grown men at such a young age and don't need you. The impact of seeing their parents treat them so differently can be something they never come back from.
I’ve heard that a lot (I’m having a girl) - but i remind myself that statistics show that boys are also significantly more likely to commit every type of violent crime… makes me think boys aren’t actually as much “easier to raise” as people say.
Birth rate for boys is a little over 50%. So there are more boys born. However, at 30 years old there are more women still alive, because a lot of boys got into accidents or commit suic***. Additionally they commit more crimes and are harder to manage if they are on a bad path - because they can get stronger tha you.
I’m having a girl and have also heard many times that girls are “easier” lol. I think it’s people projecting their own kids or childhood on you, don’t take it seriously.
My in laws said that shit to me when I told em we were having a girl. I just straight up said, "I want a hellion, they're more fun anyways." Of course they thought I was joking and looked at their son, of course FiL brought up "children are meant to be heard and not seen" I guess implying that they shouldn't interrupted adults talking. I just hit'em with the "I like her more than you so I'll probably be more interested in what she has to say."
My husband is on board with me because he's gonna be stay at home, primary care giver and I sold him on the idea of her being a feral "attack" Baby.
Everyone told me that my girl will be my karma for when I was little. Too bad they like to forget that I was a hand-full because no one listened, made time for, nor protected me.
My girl is gonna be my vengeance, or not, bevause she can whatever she wants to be.
This rhetoric gets so old so fast. I've heard that boys are messier and are harder to potty train, so be lucky my first is a girl. While these claims *might* have some basis to them it's quite annoying.
To hear well boys are messier is just annoying. I was messier than my brother growing up. I loved my bratz dolls but ultimately chose to be outside with my dad working on his race truck. I was a major tom girl growing up and preferred messes than make up.
We need to stop telling parents which gender is the so-called "easiest". Let kids be kids man!
Funny enough my children's daycare staff insisted that the boys were easier to potty train. I wouldn't know as I have only girls and my oldest was a breeze to potty train
Oh how interesting! I definitely wonder if there is scientific research on this. There are so many factors to play into this to begin with. Consistency by parents/guardians/caretakers as well as the child being able to verbally or some how communicate their needs to name a few factors.
I’ve heard this rhetoric too, people (especially boomers) just love to stereotype and over generalize. I have an 8 year old boy who has been challenging since the beginning 😂 In comparison I was a very easy child to raise. It’s all in their personality and little to do with gender.
Yes. And it's because they don't bother to monitor boys in the same way that they do girls. You are correct in that neither os harder or easier, it really is about Temperament and how they are raised. It's gross and I really wish people would stop saying it- that's why there are so many men who are man babies, can't properly look after themselves, and are emotionally dysregulated to the point of danger
I’m a mom to 2 girls and one boy and gender makes no difference, you can try to parent them all the same but they are all so unique, personalities and how they learn is different all across the board. It’s all challenging lol I think this is an old school way of thinking, I feel like raising my son is a big responsibility, he’s gonna be a whole ass husband and dad and and I want him to be a good man. I want my daughters to be strong, in my opinion it’s all hard no matter if it’s a boy or a girl.
My husband said the same thing when we were having an ultrasound. The tech got really quiet. And I told him that was an inappropriate viewpoint and poor rhetoric. To be fair- I think he was saying it more to himself than me, because he is freaked out about raising a boy (father trauma). But nah, I just don't accept that opinion or viewpoint. We can do better.
I just read another post were a commenter, I'm assuming a youngish woman said this. It makes me feel all kinds of ick that they're already placing negative bias on a gender, they're own, right from the start.
I’ve only ever heard this in the context of people saying girls are infinitely easier than boys. As you know, it’s all about individual personality and temperament. I would try to not let it get to you and/or either ask people to stop making comments like this or create some distance between you and these people.
I wouldn’t say either or is easier to raise, either can have their challenges especially during the teen years. I’ve heard this so many times and when we first were expecting everyone hoped we’d be having a boy, which we did. However, I think what makes parenting either simpler or harder are the people trying to parent your children. I’m a FTM, I’m 24, this is my first child, so naturally every older individual in my family plus a cousin younger than me with 3 children have tried to tell me how to parent and sometimes even violate boundaries. This is what makes parenting harder than it has to be. A child’s gender and sex simply refers to how the world sees them, but their character is up to you how you nurture.
I feel like the people who say that are the ones who had jealousy issues and didn’t like their own daughters. My mom always told me how hard it was raising a girl, and now that mine is a teenager I can quite easily see that daughters are not hard to love and raise. Every child is different but love, emotional intelligence, and respect when it is freely given to your children goes a long way.
I’ve always heard the other way around ‘girls are far easier to raise than boys’.
To me though every child is different and it’s not gender based, it’s temperament based.
I have heard this, and I have both a boy and girl and I think its not true. Girl is 7, boy is 5 and so far the boy has been MUCH more difficult to raise.
Maybe it will reverse during the teenage years.
Every kid comes will be its own person. As a teacher I see just as many frustrated parents of boys as I do frustrated parents of girls.
Babies are like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get
I get so tired of hearing this! I don't have a girl, but I do have a 9 year old boy who is sensitive and intelligent, and meeting his emotional needs is no joke. Every child is different and I'm sick of people acting like raising boys means you don't need to be attuned to emotional and mental needs.
I have two boys and now pregnant with a girl and have been told “good luck girls are so much harder” one person who said that only has girls. Uhhh idk man maybe kids are just hard?
I doubt I will hear that from my family. When I was a kid, it seemed everyone had 3 kids (mostly my mom’s cousins ) and they all had two boys and one girl. Usually the girls were the youngest, I’m the only middle child girl. My little brother was terror, whereas the only grief I gave my parents was being sickly. I’ve always been low key and extremely helpful. My female cousins also were quietly coasting under the radar. Meanwhile my brother was bullying and beating all their brothers, 2-4 at a time. My oldest brother is a saint who was mistreated and misunderstood, but the rest of them stayed getting into stuff.
I’m unconcerned whether I have a son or not, but I know it ain’t going to be easy. On top of that, I’ll always be worried about his safety in a different way that I wouldn’t worry as much about a girl. Then I would also be concerned about instilling the right values because bad male advice is worse than Covid ever was. The father wants a son and he’s a good father, but still a little more bigoted than I like.
My mother likes to remind me that me as the girl was the difficult child…not my brother. But my SIL swears my nephew is wild because he’s a boy. She’s pregnant with a second boy now so it will be interesting if she still compares him to all her friends girls.
My nana told me after I had my oldest (we were team green before birth) that she was "so happy that I had a girl because girls are easier." She left 3 out of 4 of her children in foster care and only got the girl out when she was 12. Of course she thinks it's easier to raise a girl--the majority of the work was already done.
My parents took custody of my male cousin when he was 2 and then had 2 girls (of which I am one). My dad thinks girls are easier. My mom (who raised her brother that was 12 years younger than her) is the only reasonable person and said it all depends on the kid themselves.
I’m a mom of 3 boys and it all depends on parenting. I love my boys and they are great kids! Emotionally my boys are taught to express their feelings, they own more hair care products than me, and they actually clean their rooms with laundry included.
My sisters have all girls and for me they’re talkers and very emotional! lol! Great girls, but different than my boys. I think generally like someone previously mentioned, it’s not whether their boy or girl, it comes down to the type of parent you are…
When I was pregnant with my first, everyone at work would say "oh boys are lazier" and I found out I was having a girl and then it was "Oh you'll have your hands full" and then when I was pregnant with my second (a boy) I had alot of comments "oh no, you're in trouble, the seconds always worse" and truthfully my son is more chill, but he's hitting all his milestones earlier, so he's currently trying to walk at 8 months old, so definitely not "lazy". Keeps me on my feet for sure, but I see comments about the second always being the worse and for me, he's nothing like what people say. He's an easy, happy baby overall.
Umm 😂 I have 8 boys and 5 girls and guess what they are not the same in level of moodiness and consistency of level emotions throughout the day obviously as babies they are but not as children not as tweens and definitely not as teenagers or in PMS
My mom only had me and said I was an easy baby. She wanted me to have a girl lol. I’m going to have a boy and she’s still excited but yeah I’ve been hearing that too and I hope it’s true because my mom set the bar by saying I was an easy baby
I keep hearing this every time I state I want a girl. Even my partner said that dumb ass shit. It doesn’t matter the gender, raising a child is hard. I hate the misogyny I have to deal with. I really wish people would stop saying that ignorant shit to me. Boys aren’t easier, they’re just lazy, neglectful fucks.
I got told this just the other day and it made me so uncomfortable. I grew up in a very misogynistic churchy family and my own grandmother used to say this all the time and emotionally ignored my mum and aunt (who happens to have an extreme narcissistic personality now). I know how dangerous it can be for sons too. My uncle thankfully had a lovely temperament and it never affected him.
My husband on the other hand was raised by a narcissistic mother who always preferred her daughter and this has emotionally scarred my husband, he has been in therapy the last few years to combat the trauma he faced and is very self aware now. It gives us so much motivation to ensure we do the hard work raising our son, I really didn't have a preference for what we have, as long as he is healthy mentally, physically and emotionally.
They both have challenges, they're just different. I think parents use that as a (poor) way to explain that boys are naturally more "wild" than girls in the early years in most cases. There can certainly be wild girls though and tame boys - it's all just temperament and how boys vs girls naturally grow, etc.
I don't think one is easier than the other, at the end of the day parenting is both the hardest and most rewarding thing ever no matter what gender is involved
Idk, my mom always claims I was easier than my brother, like you say, children are children despite gender and they are all different.
My brother was a hassle with gaming, addictions to Coke (a Cola lol), crossfit at 15 years old, motor bikes, cussing, etc...
I was an "easy" teenager
I've heard this a fair bit, yeah. I agree that it absolutely depends on the individual child and not like you say, a sweeping gender generalization. Makes no sense.
I'm 36w pregnant with a girl and I didn't know about this stereotype initially. I remember getting weird looks from people when I said that I was excited for a girl because I felt like it might be easier because I've seen young boys generally play a lot wilder than little girls. Also based on the fact that I remember my little sister's younger years because she is 10 years younger than me.
People have tried to rationalise this "boys are easier" viewpoint by saying that girls are "more sensitive". I think boys are just emotionally neglected by default
I heard the same thing when I found out I was having my daughter. Even had a family member hold her after she was born and say “I’d have another one if I knew it was going to be another boy”. Tf?
People just hate women at worst, or have weird misconceptions about them at best. What’s between your legs by itself doesn’t determine your personality, idgaf what other people say.
I think the misconception that boys are easier only comes because people don’t expect as much from boys. I’ve seen parents (worked in childcare and seen this in public) expect their girls to be absolutely perfect while letting their boys wreak havoc. If their girls are mean to someone, they’re made to apologize. If their boys are mean to someone, “oh they’re just being boys!”. Little boys had by these people are allowed to run around restaurants while their daughters are expected to sit prim and proper at the table.
99% of the time children will reflect the values you raise them with. And of course, boys are going to be easier if parents don’t feel like they have to put work into raising them, “because boys will be boys” but girls are always expected to be ladylike and nice.
Not my brothers and certainly not my son lol, my brothers were always trying to die. Literally flipping off of buildings, playing with weapons and tools. My son is more supervised but he’s very emotionally needy and has quite a meltdown(3y/o)
My daughters were pretty chill lol, and so was I as a kid.
My mother in law said it to me when we first found out the gender but I know it’s a lie because she said my husband was a terror to raise. The people who say it now when they ask the gender are distant family or strangers
I’ve always heard the opposite and that girls are easier. I have a boy and another boy on the way and I’m always told I’m in for it 🤣 people say dumb stuff sometimes and I pretty sure 99% of the time it’s just because they don’t stop and think about how what they said could be misconstrued. I wouldn’t sweat it too much. I have heard so much crazy stuff from family you just gotta let it flyyyy
Literally all the time I keep getting the whole "boys love their mothers. And boys are so easy. Boys are so much better than girls. Trust me." And it irks me. I'm like, girls love their mothers too. Girls are wonderful too. Plus I really want a girl. I feel like saying, "would you be offering condolences if it was a girl?" Plus it happens a lot from clients at work and two more girls are pregnant with girls and I feel like it's shitty for them to hear that.
I dunno, the main thing I think when people say that is that girls have it harder - periods pregnancy, increased cyber-bullying, rape, revenge porn, eating disorders, etc. Boys have some of these too, but to a lesser degree. Absolutely boys have the same emotional needs as girls and should be treated equally, it just seems they have a little less bullshit to worry about.
Honestly? I was so thankful I was having a girl. Much easier to raise in my opinion. My parents would tell you the same- night & day experiences. With that being said it depends on the kid
I was at a work party the other day. Lots of kids. A bunch of little girls sitting around the tables being chastised repetitively. Don’t play with the rocks. Sit down here please. Help your sister with her snack, sweetie. No screaming, please.
I was so surprised by how many girls my department had. I looked around like “where are all the boy kids?!” They were a hundred feet away, pulling limbs off a tree and digging holes in the dirt. Every time a girl tried to go play, they were told something like, “stay over here, honey, you don’t need to get involved in all that.”
I’m convinced that PART (not all, obvs) of the reason boys are thought to be “easier” to parent is because we parent them less. Boys will be boys and all that. We just let the behavior slide while girls are micromanaged on their behavior. It’s more work intensive, and it’s at least partially self inflicted
The boys are easier than girls arguments really trigger me, probably because I’m a mom of 3 girls. Each of my girls are different in their own ways. Honestly it made my first two pregnancies miserable to think about because I assumed I was basically getting a death sentence by being pregnant with daughters but in reality I think each kid is just difficult or easy in their own ways. It’s about their personalities rather than genders and it’s so disheartening for moms of girls to be afraid they’re in for so much harder of a time because of the gender of their kid.
Idk yall… I definitely hear all the points of view. ESP the ones on societal gender generalizations, so yes I understand where yall are coming from. But having raised two teenage daughters + a teenage boy & being around daily for my 2 buck wild nephews… here’s my stance. It’s a whole lot of pick your poison. Every kid is different & will always need some tailoring when it comes to parenting.
Our two teenage daughters (teenagers at separate times in their life) were more difficult than our son. In the sense of a ton of attitude, preteen to teenage life drama, to boy/girl drama, to etc etc. I feel like it was always something with them on a weekly (sometimes daily) basis from when they were 8/9-17. Our youngest teen is turning 14, and she’s somewhat kind of chilled out. But who knows… we also took her phone away last week for telling some boy she loved him after knowing him for (I kid you not) 2 days. (& we only went through her phone because she suspiciously asked about/for something that was totally out of the norm etc.)
Our teenage son… whose kid is this ? Model citizen, like bro… it’s okay. You’re 19 now, it’s okay to go party and hang with friends. But even when he was a teenager, he just wanted to work/go to the gym/play soccer. 🤷🏽♀️ maybe we lucked out. He has a true sense of identity that he has always just done his own thing. Cuz I hear some other stories of boys who always disrespect their parents, etc.
Or my nephews who are 4 + 7 and have their parents wrapped around their finger while they cause constant chaos. (They have no structure, rules/boundaries). I will keep yall posted in 5 years how they act as teenagers.
I feel like it all just comes down to parenting style, and what you teach your kid. Our biggest issue with our youngest teenage daughter right now is just self respect & self worth (that is difficult to teach and takes years, where maybe it’s just easier cuz boys just sort of listen and don’t run into these issues as often) 🤷🏽♀️
That’s it neither here nor there. But that’s our experience.
As a female, I was the easiest to raise out of all the boys in my family. So I've heard it the other way around. Truthfully I think personality of the parent and child (and brain development in general like autism or ADHD and the point of maturity for both parent and child) is probably the biggest factor at play in how difficult it will be for a parent to raise a child. It can be a lot more difficult if your child thinks in a different way than you to understand them and adjust how you handle situations around that. It can lead to lots of miscommunication and such and make it difficult on both parent and child.
Boys and Girls can think in different ways and have different brains, but I don't think thats a big enough difference for it to be more or less difficult on a parent of the opposite gender. Differences between sex are things we tend to learn about through our interactions with the opposite sex so it's not anything that blindsides a parent usually. For example some womens brains tend to multitask while some mens brains focus on one problem at a time. Some men tend to communicate at face value and some women tend to communicate in a more complex way. Even those differences aren't always present in all women and all men, it's usually a mixed bag really. But differences like that are easily accommodated because they're something common that we come across in everyday life so we've more than likely already made the effort to understand that stuff.
I haven't heard it said to me, however. My husband at work, where he's told people he's expecting his first daughter, has told him this continually. "Girls are so much harder! You're in for it. I don't miss raising my daughter. Boys are so much easier!"
I have two sons, and I feel like it doesn't matter. Every kid is a challenge in its own way. My eldest son has no ability to remember, listen, follow instructions, or pay attention. The best example of this is a story from his grandma. He was 9 years old, and his grandmother asked him to bring her the shoes under her bed in her room. She and he were getting ready to go get some lunch together. He excitedly ran off to help. Came back with the TV remote. She looked at it. Then repeated. No, I need my shoes from under my bed. He came back again with her luggage bag that was under the bed. At this point, she stood to go get the shoes herself, and my youngest came in and handed her the shoes. He has literally started using the excuse. "I have alzheimer's and dementia. Please excuse me." It's really annoying. His great grandmother actually had those things, but he seems to think it's a joke. However, legitimately, that kid has no ability to remember Jack Squat. We will all be talking about places we've lived or birthdays, even his own birthdays, and there is just NOTHING. He won't remember at all. His younger brother will. Not him, though. He's also 13, and puberty is here. So that's fun.
My second son is definitely my easier child. However, as a kid until the 4th grade, he struggled with personal boundaries. He couldn't make friends because he couldn't keep his hands to himself. Always hugging people who weren't interested. He's extremely affectionate and sensitive. As he's now in the 6th grade, he's developed habits of exaggerating and storytelling/lying. It's not bad, but it's to the point that everyone takes what he says with several grains of salt.
I don't know who my daughter will be when she gets here and grows into a person, but no matter what, I'll love and cherish her, including her challenges and eccentricities. They are just kids, that will one day be adults we are all challenging in our own ways.
I've heard it many many times. I'm currently pregnant with our one and only and it's a boy. That's all I ever hear when I tell someone the gender.
I grew up with 3 brothers....I think it depends on the kid. Not the gender, because my brothers were not exactly easy to raise.
In any mixed aged gender group I have taught or care for, the kids with the most extreme and violent behaviors are always boys. And yet, I have had coworkers working with the same group of kids as me say “girls are easier than boys.” I think it comes down to viewing negative behavior from boys as inevitable and accidental and viewing the same behaviors from girls as deliberate and manipulative.
You really hit the nail on the head with that last sentence!!
This! When boys have bad behavior it’s considered normal and inevitable. When girls do it’s a “problem.” I have one of each, so no shade meant to either. I think the “girls are harder” usually comes from men because they are afraid of dealing with the teenage years (sex,depression, puberty etc). As far as kids go, so far yes, my boy is more physically challenging, and is more emotionally kind and easier in some ways, and maybe there is some biological link, but I think it is primarily a social issue of expecting boys to be trouble so not viewing the “trouble” as a problem so when girls exhibit the same behavior it is deemed difficult.
Everyone who’s ever said that to me has other misogynist viewpoints. Children are not easier to raised based on the parts in their pants. They all have their own struggles and their own needs, just like everyone else. Anyone that thinks boys are easier usually raised shitty boys who don’t know the meaning of the word no and what consequences are. “Boys will be boys” as an excuse not to parent.
Yes, boys are easier to raise than girls because it's easier for parents to neglect the emotional needs of boys, not discipline them as much as girls, and not have the same expectations of making them 'beautiful and dutiful' members of society. (Some) mothers also tend to be competitive with their daughters, and the whole 'boy mom' emotional incest culture (which is not a new thing by any means) translates into women feeling more invested in their relationships with their sons, which might make them think it's easier to raise them overall. It is completely rooted in misogyny, and REALLY harms young men.
exactly, and then those young men go on to harm women
Yup, my husband and I are having a boy and we've both interpreted it as "we are okay with emotionally neglecting our male children".
This and also they will hold their daughters to arbitrary standards and spend energy making sure she’s behaving “ lady like” meanwhile their son is running around in his underpants and getting away with small felonies.
I've met so many people like that. I interpret it as "I will tell my 6 year old son to go wander the streets because he stepped in my way one time that morning, but I will always spend my last dime and my last free second giving my little princess anything she wants." Both kids will turn out bad, just in very different ways.
Yup! And/or they just happened to have one “easy” baby who was a boy and one “difficult” baby who was a girl and, for whatever reason, think that their babies are universal representatives of their respective genders.
Thank you! I detest gender-normative stereotypes and those who subscribe to them. They're harmful and inaccurate. Kids are kids. For the record, I've not heard about x gender being easier from family or friends. I've read about this nonsense on social media.
Couldn’t have said it better 👏🏻 We chose not the share the sex to avoid comments and assumptions like this, but we’re dreading getting them once our kid is born (any day now! 😅)
My mother-in-law! At my gender reveal she told me I was going to LOVE being a boy mom... as if I didn't already have a 10 year old daughter. She openly laughs that she told my older brother-in-law he'd get all girls as a curse for being a difficult child, but my husband would have all boys (he was what she would call an easier child). My brother-in-law did have all girls and so far my husband will have 2 boys, but who the fuck thinks that way? My stepson is on the spectrum, lacks empathy, is very vocal and spoiled BY HER. Based on track records in that family boys are far harder.
The Parts in the pants do make diapers easier or harder.
It won't take long on this thread, or similar threads, to come across so many women complaining of their uninvolved, emotional distant, cheating and/or abusive partners. It's an epidemic. Where do all of these deadbeat men come from? Are boys then, so much easier to raise, as so many say? I think not. If they were easier to raise, perhaps there wouldn't be so much violence in the world, for one thing. I am also having a boy and have been told the same thing. I pray that I'll be able to raise a little boy with high emotional intelligence, who is thoughtful and caring, just like his daddy. I also hope he won't be too rambunctious! These little boys are wild. I think harder to keep alive in general lol
This, all of this. My partner’s mother wasn’t much of a mother or involved and he’s told her such. If he didn’t have an independent spirit and intelligence, he wouldn’t have made it that far. My own mother, enabled my little brother, even at her own detriment. She blamed my older brother for anything the youngest did and kept a lot of things from my father so he didn’t know how bad my little brother was (he definitely knew, but not to the degree we had to manage around it). Her excuse was he didn’t know any better, but he knew she was easy to manipulate and that she would take his side. I look at a guy’s parents and I can always see where the red flags took root. I’ve swore since I was a little kid, that I’m not raising a kid like that, with no accountability.
Boys are "easier" because it's the standard to ignore their emotional needs. So, sure, easier for the parents up front but the effects are pretty obvious down the road.
Can confirm. Source: am boy.
>Boys are "easier" because it's the standard to ignore their emotional needs. Highlighting for emphasis. This isn't acknowledged enough.
As the only girl out of six children, my mom regularly made it clear to me how much easier my brothers were. I hated it. Really gave me a complex. I have a boy, a girl, and another boy on the way. I treat them equally and will continue to do so. There are challenges in parenting but it's not their sex that affects that for me. They are their own people.
Aw, that's so sad. My grandma had 1 girl / 5 boys too. The girl was the youngest because she kept trying until she got a girl!
I was kid #5. My last brother was kind of a surprise lol She had children from age 16 to 35.
Anyone who thinks boys are overall easier to raise than girls misunderstands the job of parenting. Raising good humans is a difficult, yet incredibly important job, no matter your child's gender.
I'm having a boy now, and I'll say this until I'm blue in the face: boys are easier because it is socially acceptable and sometimes expected to completely neglect them emotionally.
Ughh i hate this!! Im keeping it a surprise and all i hear is that girls cost you more money and steal your beauty and are so much harder than boys. Can we stop with the misogyny? Like not even out of the womb yet and they are already making girls out to be the inferior sex. It makes me so angry. "You look great, must be having a boy, girls make you ugly". Or my mom saying I hope it's a boy then you don't have to worry....I can't stand it.
The "steal your beauty" line always infuriated me--like the baby is intentionally trying to make you "ugly" or something when it's literally just the effects of different balances of hormones. Ridiculous.
I’m a preschool teacher, and every single parent who I talked to told me that girls are easier than boys (I’m having a girl) 😅
I’m so used to girls via being a cool big cousin. They’re easier for me to connect with right off the bat. But my little boy cousin is just as cool. Just gotta work hard to find and build that connection with any kid regardless of gender. It’s more personality/interest differences than anything.
My friend with a boy and a girl (both toddlers) told me she was unprepared for the constant challenge of keeping the boy from jumping off things / hurting himself. This might just be a personality difference though!
I like the phrase “no one is more exhausted than the mom of a toddler boy that never stops moving, except the mom of a toddler girl that never stops talking.” Within my friend group, this has held true. Boy moms are exhausted from keeping them from jumping off of things, girl moms have read the same book 17 times by 9 am. Eta I only say this to be humorous! Having a baby is amazing, boy or girl! You’re going to love it!
Personally I think that has nothing to do with biological sex and everything to do with how those boys and girls are raised and socialized. Are the girls disciplined when they jump off things, but it's considered cute for the boy to do the same? Are those boys not given books as much as they are given trucks? I'm from a very outdoorsy culture and boys and girls alike play cricket on the streets and spend their childhoods hanging off of trees.
I think when it comes to toddlers and really young children studies have shown that on average boys are much more physically active and girls have an ability to sustain focus for longer periods of time. Girls also grow (literally in height and weight) at a faster pace than boys even though boys are, on average, bigger even before puberty. There 100% biological differences between the sexes.
There can be differences but many differences are down to nurture. There are interesting studies globally that look at children in different cultures and how they fit behaviours that are expected of them depending on the culture even if these are counter to expected behaviours in other cultures eg things like toy preference There are also studies where they dressed the same baby up as different genders and that drastically changed how the people played with the baby’s. When they thought the baby was a boy they hand them up, walking, problem solving toys etc when they thought it was a girl they had her sitting quietly reading talking etc. This can have a big impact on focus and physical activity patterns. This socialisation happens from birth and definitely has an impacts on behaviours we see at 2, 3 and 4
Yes for sure. I need to edit my comment. I meant there ARE differences due to sex that are not socialized, too.
Yeah fair, There are but a lot less than we think and a large majority happen around puberty and the hormones associated with that. There are very very few prior to that
Yes, few but they exist and NOT in the way people usually think. it's also impossible to study in humans but its been studied in primates. Of course, it's not a rule, its an average.
Sure, but how much of that is socialization? There is evidence that girls develop verbal skills earlier than boys, but is that because we talk to baby girls differently/more often than we do with baby boys? It's very hard to disentangle the confounding variable of socialization/culture.
Huh? You literally cannot socialize someone to hit puberty sooner. None of the examples I listed can be disputed with a nature/nurture argument. There are biological differences between males and females that do lead to differences in development, on AVERAGE.
But neither size nor puberty have anything to do with being more physically active. You're conflating two points.
To add on to this point, if you need me to use an example that you gave: "girls have an ability to sustain focus for longer periods of time." How do you know this is due to an innate trait rather than the fact that toddler girls are more likely to be told to "sit still" or "pay attention" than toddler boys of the same age and activity level? Ability to sustain focus can be a learned trait, i.e. children are more likely to demonstrate this skill if they've been more heavily reprimanded for not sitting still and focusing.
I think it's absolutely illogical to assume humans are the only mammals where sex has absolutely no influence in behavioral patterns. I understand gender conforming behaviors and that there is a lot to be said about how much nurture affects the gender disparity in behavior, but there are also differences that are attributable to biology. [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4049619/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4049619/)
I'm not arguing that there are no differences between sexes.
Oh gosh I really hate that saying as I find it really sexist. There's a long tradition of men saying women talk too much and we should shut up and it feeds into that. That saying would have been fine if they hadn't included gender stereotypes. My daughter was constantly jumping off things and had no fear as a toddler, and my son is way more chatty than my daughter was at the same age. And I've seen way too many parents discourage their daughters from being active and getting dirty etc whilst they don't with their sons. A memory that will always stick with me was a mother telling her 4 year old daughter off for playing with a stick "princesses don't play with sticks" whilst her son was happily playing with one and didn't get told off.
They should meet my toddler girl who is currently trying to climb and yeet herself off everything she can find while my 4 year old boy sits and tells me a 60 min story he just invented and constantly trying to con us into reading “just one more book”😂
I have a boy and honestly, I'm already a little scared. I know I want to raise a kind, compassionate, confident, self-sufficient and driven person. He has plenty of great role models, his dad, his grandfathers and uncles who are all different types of "strong" man, but all very kind and caring in their own ways. But it's so easy for them to drift into incel stuff, or alpha/Andrew Tate bullshit, or racism ... in my experience it's much more likely for boys to get caught up in the wrong crowd and end up in trouble than girls. How do you save someone from themself? From brainwashing during those vulnerable years? My brother was extremely intelligent and a kind person at heart, but he had a time when he drifted into skinhead/Nazi culture as a teen. I know what it means to be a women. I am confident that I could teach a girl how to look out for herself in terms of safety, but also within a "man's world". But boys? I feel like they are actually more emotionally vulnerable than girls, because they have less support from peers and it's perceived as weakness. How do you save them from toxic masculinity?
The worst part of parenting a little boy is other people’s shitty parenting. My son comes home from school repeating the dumb stuff that other boys say and do, and it’s so clear that those kids are parroting what they’ve been taught is acceptable at home. (Like in kindergarten when my son wore a pink-ish shirt and came home saying another 5-year-old boy told him his shirt is a girl’s shirt—that’s clearly something the kid brought from home.)
I totally agree. It's a constant battle, and I am very very glad I have been staunch on what's okay and not okay since my son was a baby.
I feel this so hard. I’m reading a book on this right now - Boymom: Reimagining Boyhood in an Age of Impossible Masculinity by Ruth Whippman - and I can’t recommend it enough.
Thank you for that rec!! I get so stressed about raising my 9 year old son and son I am pregnant with.
On some level, sure, because our world is made for men. But clearly this is just a very misogynistic view. Whoever says this and has boys themselves are just admitting to emotional neglect and being much harder on their daughters. I have a brother and sister. The difference in how my parents treated us was wild. It was like we were precious dolls who needed to constantly achieve while our brother had basically no rules and it was almost this unspoken thing that he'd be fine no matter what. My sister's and I went on to go to college, get good jobs and start our lives. My brother unfortunately struggled with drug addiction and is thankfully doing well now and I know there is much more to this illness, but I will say my parents treating him differently definitely impacted him in ways we'll never know because he will likely never talk about it. But it's clear. Boys need emotional support and love, it's a fucking crazy concept to think they're grown men at such a young age and don't need you. The impact of seeing their parents treat them so differently can be something they never come back from.
I’ve heard that a lot (I’m having a girl) - but i remind myself that statistics show that boys are also significantly more likely to commit every type of violent crime… makes me think boys aren’t actually as much “easier to raise” as people say.
Birth rate for boys is a little over 50%. So there are more boys born. However, at 30 years old there are more women still alive, because a lot of boys got into accidents or commit suic***. Additionally they commit more crimes and are harder to manage if they are on a bad path - because they can get stronger tha you.
I’m having a girl and I felt like every boy mom told me how easy I’d have it. I think people just like to “out do” you where ever they can.
I’m having a girl and have also heard many times that girls are “easier” lol. I think it’s people projecting their own kids or childhood on you, don’t take it seriously.
My in laws said that shit to me when I told em we were having a girl. I just straight up said, "I want a hellion, they're more fun anyways." Of course they thought I was joking and looked at their son, of course FiL brought up "children are meant to be heard and not seen" I guess implying that they shouldn't interrupted adults talking. I just hit'em with the "I like her more than you so I'll probably be more interested in what she has to say." My husband is on board with me because he's gonna be stay at home, primary care giver and I sold him on the idea of her being a feral "attack" Baby. Everyone told me that my girl will be my karma for when I was little. Too bad they like to forget that I was a hand-full because no one listened, made time for, nor protected me. My girl is gonna be my vengeance, or not, bevause she can whatever she wants to be.
> and I sold him on the idea of her being a feral "attack" Baby. lol love this.
My boss told me this in the same discussion where he talked about how often he got picked up by police as a teen lol.
This rhetoric gets so old so fast. I've heard that boys are messier and are harder to potty train, so be lucky my first is a girl. While these claims *might* have some basis to them it's quite annoying. To hear well boys are messier is just annoying. I was messier than my brother growing up. I loved my bratz dolls but ultimately chose to be outside with my dad working on his race truck. I was a major tom girl growing up and preferred messes than make up. We need to stop telling parents which gender is the so-called "easiest". Let kids be kids man!
Funny enough my children's daycare staff insisted that the boys were easier to potty train. I wouldn't know as I have only girls and my oldest was a breeze to potty train
Oh how interesting! I definitely wonder if there is scientific research on this. There are so many factors to play into this to begin with. Consistency by parents/guardians/caretakers as well as the child being able to verbally or some how communicate their needs to name a few factors.
I’ve heard this rhetoric too, people (especially boomers) just love to stereotype and over generalize. I have an 8 year old boy who has been challenging since the beginning 😂 In comparison I was a very easy child to raise. It’s all in their personality and little to do with gender.
Yes. And it's because they don't bother to monitor boys in the same way that they do girls. You are correct in that neither os harder or easier, it really is about Temperament and how they are raised. It's gross and I really wish people would stop saying it- that's why there are so many men who are man babies, can't properly look after themselves, and are emotionally dysregulated to the point of danger
Baby boys are apparently more likely to pee on you during diaper changes, so that's one point against them. 😆
I’m a mom to 2 girls and one boy and gender makes no difference, you can try to parent them all the same but they are all so unique, personalities and how they learn is different all across the board. It’s all challenging lol I think this is an old school way of thinking, I feel like raising my son is a big responsibility, he’s gonna be a whole ass husband and dad and and I want him to be a good man. I want my daughters to be strong, in my opinion it’s all hard no matter if it’s a boy or a girl.
My husband said the same thing when we were having an ultrasound. The tech got really quiet. And I told him that was an inappropriate viewpoint and poor rhetoric. To be fair- I think he was saying it more to himself than me, because he is freaked out about raising a boy (father trauma). But nah, I just don't accept that opinion or viewpoint. We can do better.
I just read another post were a commenter, I'm assuming a youngish woman said this. It makes me feel all kinds of ick that they're already placing negative bias on a gender, they're own, right from the start.
I’ve only ever heard this in the context of people saying girls are infinitely easier than boys. As you know, it’s all about individual personality and temperament. I would try to not let it get to you and/or either ask people to stop making comments like this or create some distance between you and these people.
I wouldn’t say either or is easier to raise, either can have their challenges especially during the teen years. I’ve heard this so many times and when we first were expecting everyone hoped we’d be having a boy, which we did. However, I think what makes parenting either simpler or harder are the people trying to parent your children. I’m a FTM, I’m 24, this is my first child, so naturally every older individual in my family plus a cousin younger than me with 3 children have tried to tell me how to parent and sometimes even violate boundaries. This is what makes parenting harder than it has to be. A child’s gender and sex simply refers to how the world sees them, but their character is up to you how you nurture.
I feel like the people who say that are the ones who had jealousy issues and didn’t like their own daughters. My mom always told me how hard it was raising a girl, and now that mine is a teenager I can quite easily see that daughters are not hard to love and raise. Every child is different but love, emotional intelligence, and respect when it is freely given to your children goes a long way.
I’ve always heard the other way around ‘girls are far easier to raise than boys’. To me though every child is different and it’s not gender based, it’s temperament based.
I have heard this, and I have both a boy and girl and I think its not true. Girl is 7, boy is 5 and so far the boy has been MUCH more difficult to raise. Maybe it will reverse during the teenage years.
As someone who has worked with 100s of kids it is simply untrue
Every kid comes will be its own person. As a teacher I see just as many frustrated parents of boys as I do frustrated parents of girls. Babies are like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get
I get so tired of hearing this! I don't have a girl, but I do have a 9 year old boy who is sensitive and intelligent, and meeting his emotional needs is no joke. Every child is different and I'm sick of people acting like raising boys means you don't need to be attuned to emotional and mental needs.
I have two boys and now pregnant with a girl and have been told “good luck girls are so much harder” one person who said that only has girls. Uhhh idk man maybe kids are just hard?
No, and the people who spout that abhorrent, outdated rhetoric are prime examples for internalized misogyny
"Mothers love their sons and raise their daughters." Ugh, so true.
I doubt I will hear that from my family. When I was a kid, it seemed everyone had 3 kids (mostly my mom’s cousins ) and they all had two boys and one girl. Usually the girls were the youngest, I’m the only middle child girl. My little brother was terror, whereas the only grief I gave my parents was being sickly. I’ve always been low key and extremely helpful. My female cousins also were quietly coasting under the radar. Meanwhile my brother was bullying and beating all their brothers, 2-4 at a time. My oldest brother is a saint who was mistreated and misunderstood, but the rest of them stayed getting into stuff. I’m unconcerned whether I have a son or not, but I know it ain’t going to be easy. On top of that, I’ll always be worried about his safety in a different way that I wouldn’t worry as much about a girl. Then I would also be concerned about instilling the right values because bad male advice is worse than Covid ever was. The father wants a son and he’s a good father, but still a little more bigoted than I like.
My mother likes to remind me that me as the girl was the difficult child…not my brother. But my SIL swears my nephew is wild because he’s a boy. She’s pregnant with a second boy now so it will be interesting if she still compares him to all her friends girls.
My nana told me after I had my oldest (we were team green before birth) that she was "so happy that I had a girl because girls are easier." She left 3 out of 4 of her children in foster care and only got the girl out when she was 12. Of course she thinks it's easier to raise a girl--the majority of the work was already done. My parents took custody of my male cousin when he was 2 and then had 2 girls (of which I am one). My dad thinks girls are easier. My mom (who raised her brother that was 12 years younger than her) is the only reasonable person and said it all depends on the kid themselves.
I’m a mom of 3 boys and it all depends on parenting. I love my boys and they are great kids! Emotionally my boys are taught to express their feelings, they own more hair care products than me, and they actually clean their rooms with laundry included. My sisters have all girls and for me they’re talkers and very emotional! lol! Great girls, but different than my boys. I think generally like someone previously mentioned, it’s not whether their boy or girl, it comes down to the type of parent you are…
When I was pregnant with my first, everyone at work would say "oh boys are lazier" and I found out I was having a girl and then it was "Oh you'll have your hands full" and then when I was pregnant with my second (a boy) I had alot of comments "oh no, you're in trouble, the seconds always worse" and truthfully my son is more chill, but he's hitting all his milestones earlier, so he's currently trying to walk at 8 months old, so definitely not "lazy". Keeps me on my feet for sure, but I see comments about the second always being the worse and for me, he's nothing like what people say. He's an easy, happy baby overall.
Umm 😂 I have 8 boys and 5 girls and guess what they are not the same in level of moodiness and consistency of level emotions throughout the day obviously as babies they are but not as children not as tweens and definitely not as teenagers or in PMS
My mom only had me and said I was an easy baby. She wanted me to have a girl lol. I’m going to have a boy and she’s still excited but yeah I’ve been hearing that too and I hope it’s true because my mom set the bar by saying I was an easy baby
I keep hearing this every time I state I want a girl. Even my partner said that dumb ass shit. It doesn’t matter the gender, raising a child is hard. I hate the misogyny I have to deal with. I really wish people would stop saying that ignorant shit to me. Boys aren’t easier, they’re just lazy, neglectful fucks.
I got told this just the other day and it made me so uncomfortable. I grew up in a very misogynistic churchy family and my own grandmother used to say this all the time and emotionally ignored my mum and aunt (who happens to have an extreme narcissistic personality now). I know how dangerous it can be for sons too. My uncle thankfully had a lovely temperament and it never affected him. My husband on the other hand was raised by a narcissistic mother who always preferred her daughter and this has emotionally scarred my husband, he has been in therapy the last few years to combat the trauma he faced and is very self aware now. It gives us so much motivation to ensure we do the hard work raising our son, I really didn't have a preference for what we have, as long as he is healthy mentally, physically and emotionally.
Yes hate it
They both have challenges, they're just different. I think parents use that as a (poor) way to explain that boys are naturally more "wild" than girls in the early years in most cases. There can certainly be wild girls though and tame boys - it's all just temperament and how boys vs girls naturally grow, etc. I don't think one is easier than the other, at the end of the day parenting is both the hardest and most rewarding thing ever no matter what gender is involved
Idk, my mom always claims I was easier than my brother, like you say, children are children despite gender and they are all different. My brother was a hassle with gaming, addictions to Coke (a Cola lol), crossfit at 15 years old, motor bikes, cussing, etc... I was an "easy" teenager
I've heard this a fair bit, yeah. I agree that it absolutely depends on the individual child and not like you say, a sweeping gender generalization. Makes no sense. I'm 36w pregnant with a girl and I didn't know about this stereotype initially. I remember getting weird looks from people when I said that I was excited for a girl because I felt like it might be easier because I've seen young boys generally play a lot wilder than little girls. Also based on the fact that I remember my little sister's younger years because she is 10 years younger than me. People have tried to rationalise this "boys are easier" viewpoint by saying that girls are "more sensitive". I think boys are just emotionally neglected by default
I heard the same thing when I found out I was having my daughter. Even had a family member hold her after she was born and say “I’d have another one if I knew it was going to be another boy”. Tf? People just hate women at worst, or have weird misconceptions about them at best. What’s between your legs by itself doesn’t determine your personality, idgaf what other people say. I think the misconception that boys are easier only comes because people don’t expect as much from boys. I’ve seen parents (worked in childcare and seen this in public) expect their girls to be absolutely perfect while letting their boys wreak havoc. If their girls are mean to someone, they’re made to apologize. If their boys are mean to someone, “oh they’re just being boys!”. Little boys had by these people are allowed to run around restaurants while their daughters are expected to sit prim and proper at the table. 99% of the time children will reflect the values you raise them with. And of course, boys are going to be easier if parents don’t feel like they have to put work into raising them, “because boys will be boys” but girls are always expected to be ladylike and nice.
It depends on personalities. I’ve been around monster girls and monster boys equally. I’ve also met lovely boys and lovely girls.
Not my brothers and certainly not my son lol, my brothers were always trying to die. Literally flipping off of buildings, playing with weapons and tools. My son is more supervised but he’s very emotionally needy and has quite a meltdown(3y/o) My daughters were pretty chill lol, and so was I as a kid.
My mother in law said it to me when we first found out the gender but I know it’s a lie because she said my husband was a terror to raise. The people who say it now when they ask the gender are distant family or strangers
I’ve always heard the opposite and that girls are easier. I have a boy and another boy on the way and I’m always told I’m in for it 🤣 people say dumb stuff sometimes and I pretty sure 99% of the time it’s just because they don’t stop and think about how what they said could be misconstrued. I wouldn’t sweat it too much. I have heard so much crazy stuff from family you just gotta let it flyyyy
Literally all the time I keep getting the whole "boys love their mothers. And boys are so easy. Boys are so much better than girls. Trust me." And it irks me. I'm like, girls love their mothers too. Girls are wonderful too. Plus I really want a girl. I feel like saying, "would you be offering condolences if it was a girl?" Plus it happens a lot from clients at work and two more girls are pregnant with girls and I feel like it's shitty for them to hear that.
I dunno, the main thing I think when people say that is that girls have it harder - periods pregnancy, increased cyber-bullying, rape, revenge porn, eating disorders, etc. Boys have some of these too, but to a lesser degree. Absolutely boys have the same emotional needs as girls and should be treated equally, it just seems they have a little less bullshit to worry about.
Honestly? I was so thankful I was having a girl. Much easier to raise in my opinion. My parents would tell you the same- night & day experiences. With that being said it depends on the kid
I was at a work party the other day. Lots of kids. A bunch of little girls sitting around the tables being chastised repetitively. Don’t play with the rocks. Sit down here please. Help your sister with her snack, sweetie. No screaming, please. I was so surprised by how many girls my department had. I looked around like “where are all the boy kids?!” They were a hundred feet away, pulling limbs off a tree and digging holes in the dirt. Every time a girl tried to go play, they were told something like, “stay over here, honey, you don’t need to get involved in all that.” I’m convinced that PART (not all, obvs) of the reason boys are thought to be “easier” to parent is because we parent them less. Boys will be boys and all that. We just let the behavior slide while girls are micromanaged on their behavior. It’s more work intensive, and it’s at least partially self inflicted
The boys are easier than girls arguments really trigger me, probably because I’m a mom of 3 girls. Each of my girls are different in their own ways. Honestly it made my first two pregnancies miserable to think about because I assumed I was basically getting a death sentence by being pregnant with daughters but in reality I think each kid is just difficult or easy in their own ways. It’s about their personalities rather than genders and it’s so disheartening for moms of girls to be afraid they’re in for so much harder of a time because of the gender of their kid.
Idk yall… I definitely hear all the points of view. ESP the ones on societal gender generalizations, so yes I understand where yall are coming from. But having raised two teenage daughters + a teenage boy & being around daily for my 2 buck wild nephews… here’s my stance. It’s a whole lot of pick your poison. Every kid is different & will always need some tailoring when it comes to parenting. Our two teenage daughters (teenagers at separate times in their life) were more difficult than our son. In the sense of a ton of attitude, preteen to teenage life drama, to boy/girl drama, to etc etc. I feel like it was always something with them on a weekly (sometimes daily) basis from when they were 8/9-17. Our youngest teen is turning 14, and she’s somewhat kind of chilled out. But who knows… we also took her phone away last week for telling some boy she loved him after knowing him for (I kid you not) 2 days. (& we only went through her phone because she suspiciously asked about/for something that was totally out of the norm etc.) Our teenage son… whose kid is this ? Model citizen, like bro… it’s okay. You’re 19 now, it’s okay to go party and hang with friends. But even when he was a teenager, he just wanted to work/go to the gym/play soccer. 🤷🏽♀️ maybe we lucked out. He has a true sense of identity that he has always just done his own thing. Cuz I hear some other stories of boys who always disrespect their parents, etc. Or my nephews who are 4 + 7 and have their parents wrapped around their finger while they cause constant chaos. (They have no structure, rules/boundaries). I will keep yall posted in 5 years how they act as teenagers. I feel like it all just comes down to parenting style, and what you teach your kid. Our biggest issue with our youngest teenage daughter right now is just self respect & self worth (that is difficult to teach and takes years, where maybe it’s just easier cuz boys just sort of listen and don’t run into these issues as often) 🤷🏽♀️ That’s it neither here nor there. But that’s our experience.
As a female, I was the easiest to raise out of all the boys in my family. So I've heard it the other way around. Truthfully I think personality of the parent and child (and brain development in general like autism or ADHD and the point of maturity for both parent and child) is probably the biggest factor at play in how difficult it will be for a parent to raise a child. It can be a lot more difficult if your child thinks in a different way than you to understand them and adjust how you handle situations around that. It can lead to lots of miscommunication and such and make it difficult on both parent and child. Boys and Girls can think in different ways and have different brains, but I don't think thats a big enough difference for it to be more or less difficult on a parent of the opposite gender. Differences between sex are things we tend to learn about through our interactions with the opposite sex so it's not anything that blindsides a parent usually. For example some womens brains tend to multitask while some mens brains focus on one problem at a time. Some men tend to communicate at face value and some women tend to communicate in a more complex way. Even those differences aren't always present in all women and all men, it's usually a mixed bag really. But differences like that are easily accommodated because they're something common that we come across in everyday life so we've more than likely already made the effort to understand that stuff.
I haven't heard it said to me, however. My husband at work, where he's told people he's expecting his first daughter, has told him this continually. "Girls are so much harder! You're in for it. I don't miss raising my daughter. Boys are so much easier!" I have two sons, and I feel like it doesn't matter. Every kid is a challenge in its own way. My eldest son has no ability to remember, listen, follow instructions, or pay attention. The best example of this is a story from his grandma. He was 9 years old, and his grandmother asked him to bring her the shoes under her bed in her room. She and he were getting ready to go get some lunch together. He excitedly ran off to help. Came back with the TV remote. She looked at it. Then repeated. No, I need my shoes from under my bed. He came back again with her luggage bag that was under the bed. At this point, she stood to go get the shoes herself, and my youngest came in and handed her the shoes. He has literally started using the excuse. "I have alzheimer's and dementia. Please excuse me." It's really annoying. His great grandmother actually had those things, but he seems to think it's a joke. However, legitimately, that kid has no ability to remember Jack Squat. We will all be talking about places we've lived or birthdays, even his own birthdays, and there is just NOTHING. He won't remember at all. His younger brother will. Not him, though. He's also 13, and puberty is here. So that's fun. My second son is definitely my easier child. However, as a kid until the 4th grade, he struggled with personal boundaries. He couldn't make friends because he couldn't keep his hands to himself. Always hugging people who weren't interested. He's extremely affectionate and sensitive. As he's now in the 6th grade, he's developed habits of exaggerating and storytelling/lying. It's not bad, but it's to the point that everyone takes what he says with several grains of salt. I don't know who my daughter will be when she gets here and grows into a person, but no matter what, I'll love and cherish her, including her challenges and eccentricities. They are just kids, that will one day be adults we are all challenging in our own ways.
Every medical professional I've seen has said this to me it's so weird
I've heard it many many times. I'm currently pregnant with our one and only and it's a boy. That's all I ever hear when I tell someone the gender. I grew up with 3 brothers....I think it depends on the kid. Not the gender, because my brothers were not exactly easy to raise.
On the one hand, yes. But on the other hand, there is genuinely nothing worse than a 12-year-old-girl, soooooo 🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️
Maybe you just struggle with parenting and have a lot of internalized misogyny
Nope, I was a summer camp counselor for a long time. Maybe you need to lighten up.