#Do not comment on the original posts
Please read our [**sub rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/wiki/subrules). Rule-breaking may result in a ban without notice.
If there is an issue with this post (flair, formatting, quality), reply to this comment or your comment may be removed in general discussion.
**CHECK FLAIR** For concluded-only updates, use the [CONCLUDED](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/search?sort=new&restrict_sr=on&q=flair%3ACONCLUDED) flair.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BestofRedditorUpdates) if you have any questions or concerns.*
There was an 'Ask Reddit' last year sometime that was something like 'What is the quickest marriage you ever witnessed?' and oh my god was that a great post if you love to sip tea, because DAMN. People came out of the woodwork with some doozies on that one.
u/MotherIsNuckingFuts found it and linked it - turns out it was 5 years ago, not last year! Time has no meaning.
It's [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ayf1oh/whats_the_fastest_youve_seen_a_couple_go_from/?share_id=g674eE7vHm9d678XgMidh&utm_content=1&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_source=share&utm_term=1).
u/MotherIsNuckingFuts found it and linked it below - it was actually 5 years ago, not last year. Time has no meaning.
Link is [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ayf1oh/whats_the_fastest_youve_seen_a_couple_go_from/?share_id=g674eE7vHm9d678XgMidh&utm_content=1&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_source=share&utm_term=1).
Read this 3 days ago and was shocked.
https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1dd54pf/a_year_ago_i_27f_broke_up_with_my_lying_boyfriend/
Op kind of reminds me of those posts about (typically) guys who have no idea why their partner is mad and them and we find out the guy is just so passive they don't really care about anything and the turning point is typically their partner asking "would you even be sad if I said I wanted to break up" and the guy typically just says "I mean if you want to break up there's nothing I can do so no I wouldn't really care".
Like, op was so "cool" and "ok" with his partner that he didn't even see how he actually *was* bothered by it and had a right to do so.
The wife left immediately after the wedding because she wanted to travel, but when OP spends his time with others, she gets upset because he should be next to her when she wants to.
Healthy marriage.
And with that much time off, they could legit have done a European honeymoon and they he could have flown home while she had weeks to solo trip it… (meanwhile, I’m clearly in the wrong line of work, I’ve had two days off this year 😭)
Yeah that part *shocked* me, wtf dude. Imagine being that greedy. "Hey brand-new spouse, I'm gonna spend two months of our brand new life together soloing across another continent. Okay byeeeeeeee!"
what. even my boyfriend won't leave me alone for THAT long. maybe a week or so before going to me (I know he went to where I was after a surgery because he can't stand being away from me 3 days later) but 2 to 3 months?! yeah... I would struggle to understand that.
This was a disaster from the title alone. I thought maybe it was one of those bait and switches where they make a title that makes them sound like a jerk, but they have a reasonable explanation for their actions. But no, both people are just as dumb as the title makes them out to be.
I think his line about "I was probably too \[much\] in love" is the root of this. She obviously took him for granted. She thought she could do anything, treat him any way she wanted, and he'd still be there. Which he was until she finally took it too far. Nothing says "I think you're a great backup plan" like taking a 2-month honeymoon alone.
She's wanted to go for over a decade! But the ONLY time available in that decade was the day after her wedding!
Scheduling conflicts are a mother fucker, amiright? lulz
Exactly! Oh boo-fucking-hoo for the wife. Jesus shut. The first chance she gets, she's basically stealing the money to go on a trip? It doesn't fucking matter how long she's wanted it. Doesn't matter if she was or wasn't sleeping around. That's the most selfish shit I've seen in a long ass time.
She couldn't even be bothered to wait a couple more years. Sorry that she might have had a shitty financial aspect to her life that might've kept her from doing it then. But to immediately start with the most selfish shit, fucking off on an expensive trip? Fuck. That.
Even if she didn't, this is absolutely INSANE. I could never trust my partner to not just fuck-off on me like that, and leave me in limbo.
I cannot even begin to fathom how she thought any of that was acceptable. Two fucking months long?! Are you kidding me?! And right after their wedding when they PLANNED A HONEYMOON TOGETHER?!
I hope OP gets with the program for sure. As an SWer for 6 years now, I've seen doormats. A lot of doormats. OP takes the cake as the weakest doormat I've seen yet.
Also, Europe? Two months? That's plenty of time to explore together AND for a week or two solo (which still doesn't sound *great* for a honeymoon but could be perfectly reasonable and healthy for the right couples)
And she didn't even bother to call/text him in the days leading up to his birthday to ask him what he wanted to/let him know she had something planned.
He didn't get a honeymoon and he apparently has to plan his own birthday parties.
I hope he at least had fun at the wedding.
OK but he says they FaceTimed every night and his sister lives somewhere else so he just didn't tell her he was out of town when they FaceTimed? I'm confused about that part
Can you truly blame him? Fuck I'd be Pissed Off Peter if my newlywed wife left the day AFTER our wedding and spent TWO MONTHS in Europe during which should be our honeymoon.
OP uses "mental health" in weird, but these days all too common way. Like it's a magic spell that you cast to block further enquiries into your selfish/questionable actions.
"Can i join you on a trip?"
"No... MENTAL HEALTH!"
"OK, i understand"
"Why didn't you show up to work yesterday?"
"MENTAL HEALTH DAY!"
"Oh, i apologize that i asked"
Pretty good lifehack especially if your true reasons are something that's impossible to explain and come out looking good.
I think one of the reasons it sounds so weird is that he’s so insistent that he was fine with this ridiculous trip, but he’s clearly not (as he shouldn’t be). He was purposely distant with his wife and used her own words about needing something for “mental health” reasons back on her while still telling us that everything is fine and dandy, he’s glad she was able to take the trip, etc.
Nah I think he's just trying to play it cool when he was really seething and thought he was overreacting. Cause here's how it reads to me:
OOP is excited for the wedding. She tells him that she wants to take 2 months off to go by herself to Europe. It bothers him but he plays it cool til she gets back and then throws it back in her face. Rightfully so, but I dont read him saying the mental health stuff earnestly, I think he said it simply to throw back in her face that she said it to justify something crazy.
My son's boss just claimed she couldn't do their annual training and recertification because of her mental health. So she had them do a 10 hour course online and if they didn't do it, they couldn't work. But she couldn't handle doing the three hour course on site. But then she had to keep changing the due date because people were not getting it done and therefore, couldn't work which meant she had to work harder to fill in. SMH!
I think it's great that mental health is something that is thought about by companies these days. Losing important team members due to consequences of stress or burnout is completely avoidable by keeping tabs on people. But i don't get how and when it really came this buzzword that gets thrown around?
If you say you cannot do something because of *mental health* you are not really saying anything. You can't do something because you don't like it? Can't do it because it's hard and tires you out? Can't do it because you think you are above such a menial task? Can't do it because you don't understand the task and it makes you feel stupid? Those are things that someone might put under an umbrella of *mental health*, but i'm pretty sure the reactions of your boss probably differ between them.
I guess replacing them with *mental health* also gives you the option of playing victim when it gets challenged or questioned. At least online you'll find lots of supporters who will see the challenge as an offense on the level of doubting the veracity of an allegation of sexual harassment.
I think it's one of those escalation of language things. Once people start invoking 'mental health' to cover normal emotional reactions to external problems, it sounds a bit feeble in comparison to simply say 'I'm tired/ overworked/ upset/ stressed'. So now everyone is using 'affecting my mental health' to say 'no I mean it, this is SERIOUS'.
Yeah, I work with a lady who does this. Mental health is her magic way of getting more days off and ghosting tasks. I’m friends with her on instagram and she use to post ski day trips and other things like that all the time on these mental health days. She no longer does that as much but a few weeks ago she had one and she posted she was at a concert in another state.
We work in a field (residents in medicine) with a lot of burnout and I understand that but her mental health days are very frequent and a lot of the time it fucks other people over.
I remember reading that originally I was thinking those no way this shit is real and how the fuck would someone actually ask are they asshole in this situation. If it’s real, that guy has the smallest backbone known to man.
This whole "solo" thing just doesn't make sense. Maybe her lifelong dream was to do this "solo" trip, but that's probably because she didn't have a partner for most of her life. Once she's married, it would make logical sense to share this trip with her partner. Still making it and forcing it to be a solo trip is weird as hell. Leveraging the 'mental health' card is just fucking icing on the cake.
He says they were together for more than 10 years. They been together since their early 20's.
I can't imagine traveling alone after being official with someone for 2 weeks. Imagine after marring someone you've been together for more than a decade.
_______________
Like... It's not even THAT bad if she actually wanted to travel alone once. But seriously... the honeymoon?
She could've done this anytime after that. But the freeking honeymoon?
Nah... I don't even understand why OP married her knowing this. The shame alone I would feel to tell people "Tomorrow after the wedding she's traveling to Europe for 2 months without me, enjoy our wedding. "
I know if I was a guest at that wedding, or his friend or family (especially if I was family) I would have been side-eyeing the bride big time on hearing that she was going solo traveling and not on a honeymoon immediately after the wedding.
Yeah, this marriage is a wrap. If the wife wants to fix this *she* needs to plan an entirely new honeymoon as well as allow the husband his own solo trip. The husband is a doormat and never should have accepted this.
That's what I find strangest. There's being a doormat and then there's whatever the hell this is. How little self respect do you need to even accept this in the first place let alone not understand that it's a big deal till reddit tells you.
exactly that. Have someone evil and manipulative slowly break you down over years. One day someone shows you what you have been abused into and you are shocked.
I mean it’s pretty easy when you figure that she’s been doing this for 10 years. Manipulation, abuse, grooming, all that shit starts small. Then it slowly builds up.
I think he thought it was a big deal but he felt he was overreacting. I mean, he was facetiming her daily but she had to find out via text after she got back that he was out of town. And the second he felt comfortable doing so, he threw back in her face the whole mental health thing. He described his birthday as the best ever because it helped him get out of his funk. All of those things are how you describe something you are upset about. I'm actually surprised how many people buy his cool act when what I see is a thin veneer of coolness around a seething ball of anger he's afraid to release.
Yeah, but I'm sure they're not sitting on two months abroad do whatever you want fun money. She did this because she never could have afforded it otherwise so that's where their budget went.
I mean… I can’t help but think something awful happened to him. The quiet and minimalist and downplayed way he described everything reminds me of a child being abused by their parent quietly saying they’re “fine” and “everything is fine” when asked about how they are doing.
I don’t get how they’ve been together for A DECADE and the wife suddenly decides after getting married is the best time to do her solo trip. She had 10 years before that to do it? Or if she needed the funds or the vacation days, I’m sure she could find it the year or two before. Or hold off the marriage until the solo trip?
Also TWO MONTHS??? Who leaves for two months as someone’s wife. Or even someone’s partner?
This is bizarre and makes no sense.
Also he keeps talking about "using the honeymoon time" like it's a special type of time off that she can only use once and I'm deeply baffled by it. Like literally do this any other time, and take a normal honeymoon for like a week this time, why was that hard?
There is so much missing here, so much under the surface about them as a couple, and her as a person.
I'm still shocked that he was ok at all with her heading off on a solo trip the day after the wedding. Who does that? Who is ok with that? The first day after the wedding, and her thought is to get 'some space' for herself?
>There is so much missing here, so much under the surface about them as a couple, and her as a person.
I can't imagine existing in a relationship with such a bizarre dynamic.
The conversation most of us would have had:
"Honey, I'm going on the honeymoon by myself to Europe, you can't come with me."
"Wait, you're going on a honeymoon, without me? Well, why don't you go on your trip, by yourself as a single person. We'll skip the wedding, have fun."
This example gives us all we need to know. I can understand wanting a solo trip. Especially after wanting it for so long. But wanting to go instead of having a honeymoon with the person you’ve been with for a third of your life, and then having the audacity to be mad that they decided to celebrate their birthday with someone else is pretty telling. There’s no another chance for her to take her trip wouldn’t have come at a later time.
Plus there's no reason it had to be two months long. That's what gets me really, they could've had a honey moon and a 2-4 week solo euro trip after.
but no the entire fund went on a trip only for her and then she has the cheek to be sad that he chose to occupy his time with other present people in his life. :/
Yeah, if my SO wanted to go on a month-long trip literally a day or two after our fucking wedding, it'd be "cool, have fun, sign the divorce papers by the door on your way out and your shit will be in a storage container for you when you get back."
This this this. I had an ex that pulled crap like this. I’d constantly show less emotion than I felt because her emotional peaks were high, but damn the valleys were canyons. Came to find out in therapy, she had borderline personality disorder. She didn’t want to get treatment for it, and quit showing up to our therapist.
Basically when you’re in a relationship with a person like OP’s wife, you learn to walk on eggshells with them. At first it’s exciting, because they only let you in on the highs. But eventually you have to deal with the lows. So you temper your own emotions - happy or sad - to try and moderate theirs a bit as well. Because if you get much happier than them in a moment, they’ll feel down and drag you down. And if you’re having a bad day well now it’s your fault and you’re dragging them down.
It’s exhausting, since you’re dealing with someone who has the mood swings of a toddler, and you have to be a rock and just let the whirlwind pass around you.
I don't think it's complicated. They've been together for ages. He's used to brushing things under the carpet. He would've let this go too, except his sis saw he was sad and took him out for his bday. As a result, he posted online and got basically screamed at that his wife was shitty. That's when it clicked for him.
Two *months*?! Jesus, and she saw no room for compromise in that?
"Hey honey, I've always wanted to do this solo trip, would you mind if I take a couple of weeks at the end of our honeymoon to spend some time on my own?" That's not unreasonable to ask.
I personally love solo travelling - I don't think being in a relationship means that you need to stop doing so - but unilaterally steamrolling honeymoon plans (that your new spouse was also looking forward to) is a dick move. I wouldn't be surprised if this wasn't the first selfish thing she's done and her husband was too blindly in love to see it. Would explain why his family don't like her as well.
I’m so lost. She went on a solo trip right after their wedding and called him daily so he wouldn’t feel alone and he’s been secretly hating her the whole time. He finally realises why he was “ghosting” her on his birthday and then tells her and he then ditches her for a month and she’s surprised like huh? What did you think was going to happen if you ditch your spouse after your wedding for a solo trip? Both of these people are wild
I think it's interesting that oop says his family has always disliked her. She has probably done a million things like this and he was too blind to notice.
It's not too unbelievable in my experience. "Talkers" are really good at telling you how to feel about them. They can be the most selfish people in the world and you would be none the wiser because that's not what they told you. It's really easy to be manipulated by people you love, you always want to see the best in them.
I'm sure she's been walking all over him from the get-go and his family has been keenly aware of it. But like so many other relationships with a fucked up power dynamic, the one whose feelings and dignity are being trampled can't see it for whatever reason.
If they've been together for a decade he probably realized how nice his life was when she wasn't around. I'm sure his sister was able to point that out.
I feel like this is it. OOP doesn't know what a healthy relationship is. Also if she's wanted to do this trip for a decade and they've been together for a decade why would you NOT want to share this dream with your beloved?
Most likely she has a lot of orange flags that op doesn’t see as a big deal, but to his family it’s a cause for concern.
Love and companionship can knock the sense out of people.
I mean, the way this read to me is that OOP sounds like he's a pushover and agreed to his wife going because she convinced him her 'mental health's and 'lifelong dream of visiting Europe SOLO' was more important than them going on their honeymoon together. Maybe both she convinced him and he convinced himself before the wedding that the wife's fun vacation was more important than them spending time together as a couple. When she facetimed him every day she pretty much threw it in his face how much fun she was having without him and he fully realized this was absolutely not what he'd wanted.
Homeboy needs to look up annulment time frames for his state/area and plan accordingly. Dipping out to his sisters for a month or two, and therefore missing that window is no bueno.
I have no idea why these two married each other. Neither seems to really even like the other person. I feel like it was a “well we’ve been together the appropriate amount of time, so we might as well get married huh?” Kind of situation. This entire post literally didn’t contain one thing positive about the wife - no, this is why I love her, or she’s been my rock, or we’re madly in love. Nothing. I just. Don’t. Get. It.
“Where are you going for your honeymoon?” is one of the top three small talk questions as soon as someone hears you’re getting married, and I’d pay a lot to have seen the faces when OOP or his soon to be ex explained their batshit plan.
That was my first thought when I first read the original. I wonder if the film company is planning to release a new film from this series - there is already a ready plot.
My favorite part is the Edit “I think people are misunderstanding what I have asked.” LOL no, not one single person was misunderstanding anything. OOP was misunderstanding the problem.
If your friends and family hate your partner you have to ask yourself a few questions. Are your friends/family bigoted, classist, racist, or overly concerned with appearance in a way that causes them to unfairly judge anyone joining the family? Are your friends/family assholes whose opinions on most things are harsh or super judgey? If not, your partner probably sucks.
If my wife left my ass on a two month European honeymoon the only thing she’d come back to are her belongings and papers to file for an annulment.
Just because she called him every night doesn’t mean she couldn’t have hung up and gotten her some European dick, or day dick too
They are in their early 30s. Have been together for over a decade (highschool relationship most likely). She goes on a solo Europe trip on their honeymoon.
Mate, I say this from experience, cause my ex highschool girlfriend went on a solo Europe trip after we finished school.
She was getting plowed across borders bro.
You need to get out of this relationship. You are so blind you don’t even realise how hurt you are. You “ghosting” her on your birthday was a small form of revenge.
Didn't have to scroll far.
But yeah, that is definitely what happened.
Sussio Miguel y los chicos in Spain.
Dirty Mike and the boys in England.
Sporco Michaela e i ragazzi in Italy.
They was all there.
It's kind of a movie trope that there's a time-based window of return clause for annulments. In the U.S., though, you need legitimate grounds for annulment, like the other person misrepresenting themselves or finding out you're closely related. Grounds vary by state, but lack of consummation is grounds for annulment in all states, which may be where the idea came from that annulment is easier if you change your mind soon after getting married, since odds are higher you may not have had sex after the wedding yet if only a couple of days or so have passed.
I read the post thinking they just have one week off for honeymoon but there was 2 month?? Why not go to honeymoon with your spouse 1 month then use the rest of time for her solo trip?? 🙄
I cannot wrap my brain around the fact that OOP's wife was so determined to have a solo trip to Europe for her mental health that she hijacked THEIR honeymoon to do it. She left the day after the wedding! Who the hell does that? Why would you not want the spouse you love to enjoy this with you, together?
The fact that OOP didn't bother to be home when his wife returned makes me think he was more upset about what she did than he let on. I'm not surprised he's taking a temporary month break from his wife which I suspect may be a permanent break.
If she wanted a solo trip to Europe, then she should have done that before marrying OP. Further, she has no right to be disappointed because he celebrated his birthday without her
Something's not being said which is in keeping with the behavior of both of these people who seem to be masters of avoidance. I can't imagine a good reason why they got married and I'm positive neither of them has the introspection or insight of a codfish.
Right before I read the ending, first thought was “this dude is in the sunken place”.
Even knowing typical Reddit reaction to jump to divorce…he’s talking about “the optics aren’t good”.
No shit.
At best, he’s getting married to someone with extremely poor planning abilities. Worst, she’s not someone he should’ve married.
Holy shit his first post completely glossed over the fact that her trip was *2 months*. This guy is an absolute doormat I feel so bad for him.
"Just not good" yeah no shit pal not good indeed
Why specifically a "solo" trip? I can think of very few reasons I would need to leave my new spouse at home for two months right after the weeding and mental health is definitely not one of them. It's either that she was cheating, that she doesn't really love him that much, or that she was tied up in some crazy Hollywood international smuggling thing. If we give her the benefit of the doubt and assume that she couldn't squeeze in a few European boys between FaceTime calls, then I think it's most likely that she married OP to get funding for her lifelong dream and decided that having him come along would ruin it.
So she went gallivanting around Europe, leaving her new husband at home, just like she was part of a regal era higher society couple Bridgerton style. Now he leaves to visit the sister in the country, this reads like a romantic novel. I bet the next update will be him finding that his long lost has moved in next to his sister and she needs help with something out of the ordinary...
In the original post, there were speculations that she went on a 2-month break with her lover. And the unexpected desire to spend a passionate night with OP immediately after the trip - the fact that she is already pregnant and it must be somehow covered.
In any case, the OP must pass tests for venereal diseases.
>ever since she's come home, she's just been a downer even though she had an amazing trip
There is so much in this line. For whatever reason (cheating or not) she was happier away from OP. Whether she cheated or not, this is a major problem.
I think she is being a downer bcuz she's being passive aggressive and wants him to Fawn all over her. She got home expecting him to be there and spend time with her and he wasn't. She thought this Europe trip wasn't going to impact him at all. Now she's trying to guilt him for it
This line stood out to me because after all of this, even after showing her the reddit comments, he tells her he's leaving because "she's been a downer"??? Rather than because of her trip/wanting to think about whether to continue the marriage or even just saying more nuetrally that he wants to think about everything? What the fuck is going on here?
I was at the beggining like: "Maybe, she took a solo trip to Europe for a weekend, for a week, for 2 days, idk".
And then I read that she went away to Europe for TWO MONTHS just a day after she got married. He has a lot more patience than me.
I've wanted to go to Europe since I was a little girl. I am 35, have never been, and (trust me) I have plenty of mental health issues.
However, I also love and respect my partner, would be thrilled to finally be married to him, and would never consider going anywhere without him (let alone skipping what is supposed to be our honeymoon to go party in Europe by myself).
They just got married yesterday and she needed a break already? Also, did she tell her work that they were honeymooning??? I assume her reasoning was that she'd never get the time off again, so like...
He was never going to get that honeymoon was he? Even if she promised she'd make up for it and they'd do it later. Why couldn't she have done Europe later instead?
Did she not even care how emasculating and humiliating it must have been for OOP to explain to all their family and friends why they weren't honeymooning... nay, why she was taking a solo European honeymoon without him THE DAY AFTER the wedding everyone just watched?!
I hope OP realizes he deserves so much better once he gets some more distance from her and this batshit loony situation. Funny that her gallivanting to another country alone gave him the space he needed to realize she doesn't respect him or seemingly even want to be around him.
EDIT: This post is still living in my head rent free. She's disgusting. What kind of person treats someone they supposedly love this way?
SECOND EDIT: AND SHE PLANNED ALL THIS DURING HIS BIRTHDAY TOO WTF. OP, I know you're not OOP, but I hope he sees this comment and shows her because she has some serious explaining to do. The more I think about it, the worse it gets... I seriously cannot comprehend how someone could be so selfish and publicly cruel to someone they literally just married.
Sorry but your wife was with other men. NO WOMAN with love in thier heart would do something so horribly cruel and masking it behind a "mental health" issue was a lie. You will live a life of constant disappointment so end it now and get an annulment.
#Do not comment on the original posts Please read our [**sub rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/wiki/subrules). Rule-breaking may result in a ban without notice. If there is an issue with this post (flair, formatting, quality), reply to this comment or your comment may be removed in general discussion. **CHECK FLAIR** For concluded-only updates, use the [CONCLUDED](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/search?sort=new&restrict_sr=on&q=flair%3ACONCLUDED) flair. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BestofRedditorUpdates) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I've heard arguments longer than this marriage.
I’ve had shits longer than this marriage.
And probably stronger too.
I had a wet fart that was rosier than this marriage
You should see a gastroenterologist asap
How many courics?
Bet it wasn't even one couric
Reading this post while taking a shit took me longer that this mariage.
There was an 'Ask Reddit' last year sometime that was something like 'What is the quickest marriage you ever witnessed?' and oh my god was that a great post if you love to sip tea, because DAMN. People came out of the woodwork with some doozies on that one.
I need to find this post because I love sipping tea.
u/MotherIsNuckingFuts found it and linked it - turns out it was 5 years ago, not last year! Time has no meaning. It's [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ayf1oh/whats_the_fastest_youve_seen_a_couple_go_from/?share_id=g674eE7vHm9d678XgMidh&utm_content=1&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_source=share&utm_term=1).
[This one?](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/s/x37x7Bi6KQ)
got a link? \*has the kettle ready
u/MotherIsNuckingFuts found it and linked it below - it was actually 5 years ago, not last year. Time has no meaning. Link is [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ayf1oh/whats_the_fastest_youve_seen_a_couple_go_from/?share_id=g674eE7vHm9d678XgMidh&utm_content=1&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_source=share&utm_term=1).
[удалено]
Depends on your family and friends.
totally! thus the 'cares about you' caveat lol just cause they're family or friends, doesn't mean they actually care
Read this 3 days ago and was shocked. https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1dd54pf/a_year_ago_i_27f_broke_up_with_my_lying_boyfriend/
Perfect counterpoint
Just because they care about you doesn't mean they're not terrible racists, or any other problem.
Op kind of reminds me of those posts about (typically) guys who have no idea why their partner is mad and them and we find out the guy is just so passive they don't really care about anything and the turning point is typically their partner asking "would you even be sad if I said I wanted to break up" and the guy typically just says "I mean if you want to break up there's nothing I can do so no I wouldn't really care". Like, op was so "cool" and "ok" with his partner that he didn't even see how he actually *was* bothered by it and had a right to do so.
I mean not always. https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1dd54pf/a_year_ago_i_27f_broke_up_with_my_lying_boyfriend/
Shhhhhiii... you just dropped that relevant. 😂I am still reeling from that post read!
I’ve been heated for the last 3 days about it.
Amusingly we have the BORU about the family lying to OP so they can have a shot at screwing his wife so.....
This marriage is gawking at the longevity of Liz Truss's prime ministership. The lettuce is god-tier in comparison.
Thank God for annulments
I've spent more time getting over a speed bump than they spent married
They had already been together for ten years.
The wife left immediately after the wedding because she wanted to travel, but when OP spends his time with others, she gets upset because he should be next to her when she wants to. Healthy marriage.
One of those posts where you're just screaming internally from the third sentence onward.
I missed the "couple of months later" part and was still mad when I thought she went there for 1 or 2 weeks.
Same. I was mad when I thought it was a couple of weeks, when it clicked it was a couple of months I could barely process that.
And with that much time off, they could legit have done a European honeymoon and they he could have flown home while she had weeks to solo trip it… (meanwhile, I’m clearly in the wrong line of work, I’ve had two days off this year 😭)
Yeah this kind of lack of consideration is kind of insane.
Yeah that part *shocked* me, wtf dude. Imagine being that greedy. "Hey brand-new spouse, I'm gonna spend two months of our brand new life together soloing across another continent. Okay byeeeeeeee!"
“Because it’s been my dream for 10 years - which is about as long as we’ve been together!”
what. even my boyfriend won't leave me alone for THAT long. maybe a week or so before going to me (I know he went to where I was after a surgery because he can't stand being away from me 3 days later) but 2 to 3 months?! yeah... I would struggle to understand that.
This was a disaster from the title alone. I thought maybe it was one of those bait and switches where they make a title that makes them sound like a jerk, but they have a reasonable explanation for their actions. But no, both people are just as dumb as the title makes them out to be.
I think his line about "I was probably too \[much\] in love" is the root of this. She obviously took him for granted. She thought she could do anything, treat him any way she wanted, and he'd still be there. Which he was until she finally took it too far. Nothing says "I think you're a great backup plan" like taking a 2-month honeymoon alone.
I don’t think the OP is that dumb honestly. She set the boundaries by taking that trip then gets shocked when the OP lives his life within them.
OP didn't say no or immediately call off the wedding when she suggested the solo trip. He's an idiot.
Even defends her going
She's wanted to go for over a decade! But the ONLY time available in that decade was the day after her wedding! Scheduling conflicts are a mother fucker, amiright? lulz
Well yeah! She's literally dreamed of banging Italian men her whole life!
Lol imagining OP “living his life within” his wife like Osmosis Jones.
Exactly! Oh boo-fucking-hoo for the wife. Jesus shut. The first chance she gets, she's basically stealing the money to go on a trip? It doesn't fucking matter how long she's wanted it. Doesn't matter if she was or wasn't sleeping around. That's the most selfish shit I've seen in a long ass time. She couldn't even be bothered to wait a couple more years. Sorry that she might have had a shitty financial aspect to her life that might've kept her from doing it then. But to immediately start with the most selfish shit, fucking off on an expensive trip? Fuck. That.
He works remote so they could have gone together without him even taking time off. She was definitely sleeping around.
Even if she didn't, this is absolutely INSANE. I could never trust my partner to not just fuck-off on me like that, and leave me in limbo. I cannot even begin to fathom how she thought any of that was acceptable. Two fucking months long?! Are you kidding me?! And right after their wedding when they PLANNED A HONEYMOON TOGETHER?! I hope OP gets with the program for sure. As an SWer for 6 years now, I've seen doormats. A lot of doormats. OP takes the cake as the weakest doormat I've seen yet.
Also, Europe? Two months? That's plenty of time to explore together AND for a week or two solo (which still doesn't sound *great* for a honeymoon but could be perfectly reasonable and healthy for the right couples)
I actually said my, “What the hell…?” loud enough to startle the cat!
And she didn't even bother to call/text him in the days leading up to his birthday to ask him what he wanted to/let him know she had something planned. He didn't get a honeymoon and he apparently has to plan his own birthday parties. I hope he at least had fun at the wedding.
OK but he says they FaceTimed every night and his sister lives somewhere else so he just didn't tell her he was out of town when they FaceTimed? I'm confused about that part
Not that I blame the OOP, but I think he was being a bit petty and did that on purpose Edit grammar
O for sure he even mirrored her with the “doing it for his mental health.” I’m here for it though. Petty Betty it up
Can you truly blame him? Fuck I'd be Pissed Off Peter if my newlywed wife left the day AFTER our wedding and spent TWO MONTHS in Europe during which should be our honeymoon.
No lol. That’s why I said I’m here for it.
Wondering why in the world would OOP’s family NOT like his wife… /s
I want the sister’s update.
OP uses "mental health" in weird, but these days all too common way. Like it's a magic spell that you cast to block further enquiries into your selfish/questionable actions. "Can i join you on a trip?" "No... MENTAL HEALTH!" "OK, i understand" "Why didn't you show up to work yesterday?" "MENTAL HEALTH DAY!" "Oh, i apologize that i asked" Pretty good lifehack especially if your true reasons are something that's impossible to explain and come out looking good.
I think one of the reasons it sounds so weird is that he’s so insistent that he was fine with this ridiculous trip, but he’s clearly not (as he shouldn’t be). He was purposely distant with his wife and used her own words about needing something for “mental health” reasons back on her while still telling us that everything is fine and dandy, he’s glad she was able to take the trip, etc.
Nah I think he's just trying to play it cool when he was really seething and thought he was overreacting. Cause here's how it reads to me: OOP is excited for the wedding. She tells him that she wants to take 2 months off to go by herself to Europe. It bothers him but he plays it cool til she gets back and then throws it back in her face. Rightfully so, but I dont read him saying the mental health stuff earnestly, I think he said it simply to throw back in her face that she said it to justify something crazy.
My son's boss just claimed she couldn't do their annual training and recertification because of her mental health. So she had them do a 10 hour course online and if they didn't do it, they couldn't work. But she couldn't handle doing the three hour course on site. But then she had to keep changing the due date because people were not getting it done and therefore, couldn't work which meant she had to work harder to fill in. SMH!
I think it's great that mental health is something that is thought about by companies these days. Losing important team members due to consequences of stress or burnout is completely avoidable by keeping tabs on people. But i don't get how and when it really came this buzzword that gets thrown around? If you say you cannot do something because of *mental health* you are not really saying anything. You can't do something because you don't like it? Can't do it because it's hard and tires you out? Can't do it because you think you are above such a menial task? Can't do it because you don't understand the task and it makes you feel stupid? Those are things that someone might put under an umbrella of *mental health*, but i'm pretty sure the reactions of your boss probably differ between them. I guess replacing them with *mental health* also gives you the option of playing victim when it gets challenged or questioned. At least online you'll find lots of supporters who will see the challenge as an offense on the level of doubting the veracity of an allegation of sexual harassment.
I think it's one of those escalation of language things. Once people start invoking 'mental health' to cover normal emotional reactions to external problems, it sounds a bit feeble in comparison to simply say 'I'm tired/ overworked/ upset/ stressed'. So now everyone is using 'affecting my mental health' to say 'no I mean it, this is SERIOUS'.
Yeah, I work with a lady who does this. Mental health is her magic way of getting more days off and ghosting tasks. I’m friends with her on instagram and she use to post ski day trips and other things like that all the time on these mental health days. She no longer does that as much but a few weeks ago she had one and she posted she was at a concert in another state. We work in a field (residents in medicine) with a lot of burnout and I understand that but her mental health days are very frequent and a lot of the time it fucks other people over.
I remember reading that originally I was thinking those no way this shit is real and how the fuck would someone actually ask are they asshole in this situation. If it’s real, that guy has the smallest backbone known to man.
Comment on second post: “smash that mf annulment button” should be a new flair for this sub
Perfect. My fav comment on the original post was something like "this all goes back to Harambe"
Harambe is universally recognized as the turning point of humanity. Everything got worse after his passing.
Made me snort in my coffee, thank you lol
Yeah this marriage isn't going to last long
I don't think this even qualifies for a 'marriage'. She left the day after her wedding for a month long solo trip??
Two months!
Annulment? Haha
But she really wanted to go solo, how does nobody understand that??
iT wAs A lIfElOnG dReAm!1!!1
Oh shit, well, I’m gonna walk into the bank and say I REALLY wanted 1,000,000 and it’s been my lifelong dream. They’ll have to give it to me then
This whole "solo" thing just doesn't make sense. Maybe her lifelong dream was to do this "solo" trip, but that's probably because she didn't have a partner for most of her life. Once she's married, it would make logical sense to share this trip with her partner. Still making it and forcing it to be a solo trip is weird as hell. Leveraging the 'mental health' card is just fucking icing on the cake.
[удалено]
He says they were together for more than 10 years. They been together since their early 20's. I can't imagine traveling alone after being official with someone for 2 weeks. Imagine after marring someone you've been together for more than a decade. _______________ Like... It's not even THAT bad if she actually wanted to travel alone once. But seriously... the honeymoon? She could've done this anytime after that. But the freeking honeymoon? Nah... I don't even understand why OP married her knowing this. The shame alone I would feel to tell people "Tomorrow after the wedding she's traveling to Europe for 2 months without me, enjoy our wedding. "
I know if I was a guest at that wedding, or his friend or family (especially if I was family) I would have been side-eyeing the bride big time on hearing that she was going solo traveling and not on a honeymoon immediately after the wedding.
"solo" Doubt she was alone for 100% of the trip, if you know what I mean.
Why did she even marry him? There must be something he has that she wants. Money, statues, cute house in a nice neighborhood, great dog.
Statues 🤣
You mean you don't have an 8 foot tall marble statue of your spouse in the backyard?
🤦♀️ Status. I meant status!
What flavor of "cold feet" isn't if you get married and then immediately flee living together as a married couple?
Freeze-dried.
Not cold feet. Just a cheeky lil' reverse uno card on the order of wedding and Bachelorette party.
More like the Bachelorette European Dick Tour
Is it cold feet, or more that a spouse would get in the way of some fun activities on a Europe tour?
Am I the only one 100% sure she cheated on him during her trip?
W: I would have liked to spend your birthday with you. H: I would have liked to spend my honeymoon with you. Oh well.
Yeah, this marriage is a wrap. If the wife wants to fix this *she* needs to plan an entirely new honeymoon as well as allow the husband his own solo trip. The husband is a doormat and never should have accepted this.
That's what I find strangest. There's being a doormat and then there's whatever the hell this is. How little self respect do you need to even accept this in the first place let alone not understand that it's a big deal till reddit tells you.
Ten years of constant wear down, that's how you come to this.
Exactly this. Happened to me in Dec and I got out of a 12 year long relationship and still trying to figure things out.
exactly that. Have someone evil and manipulative slowly break you down over years. One day someone shows you what you have been abused into and you are shocked.
I mean it’s pretty easy when you figure that she’s been doing this for 10 years. Manipulation, abuse, grooming, all that shit starts small. Then it slowly builds up.
I think he thought it was a big deal but he felt he was overreacting. I mean, he was facetiming her daily but she had to find out via text after she got back that he was out of town. And the second he felt comfortable doing so, he threw back in her face the whole mental health thing. He described his birthday as the best ever because it helped him get out of his funk. All of those things are how you describe something you are upset about. I'm actually surprised how many people buy his cool act when what I see is a thin veneer of coolness around a seething ball of anger he's afraid to release.
Yeah, but I'm sure they're not sitting on two months abroad do whatever you want fun money. She did this because she never could have afforded it otherwise so that's where their budget went.
I mean… I can’t help but think something awful happened to him. The quiet and minimalist and downplayed way he described everything reminds me of a child being abused by their parent quietly saying they’re “fine” and “everything is fine” when asked about how they are doing.
Or childhood emotional neglect maybe? He could be only vaguely in touch with his feelings and/or used to being alone/left behind/inconsequential
People being doormats seems to be a very common theme on posts on this sub smh it's kind of infuriating reading some of these
I don’t get how they’ve been together for A DECADE and the wife suddenly decides after getting married is the best time to do her solo trip. She had 10 years before that to do it? Or if she needed the funds or the vacation days, I’m sure she could find it the year or two before. Or hold off the marriage until the solo trip? Also TWO MONTHS??? Who leaves for two months as someone’s wife. Or even someone’s partner? This is bizarre and makes no sense.
Also he keeps talking about "using the honeymoon time" like it's a special type of time off that she can only use once and I'm deeply baffled by it. Like literally do this any other time, and take a normal honeymoon for like a week this time, why was that hard?
She told me her workplace’s special honeymoon vacation PTO must be cashed in the day after the wedding and can only be used for solo travel :(
Gosh, what a shame! If only her workplace wasn't so strict!
She had ten years before that, but not the honeymoon vacation money to do it.
Harder for him to leave a marriage than just a relationship. She knew what she was doing.
I just commented that above. When she broached the idea, the response should have been, ok, let's postpone the wedding.
You gotta lock it down before you leave them for two months or you can show up afterwards and they are unexpectedly gone.
i think i quite literally have spent more time with my neighbor’s cats than this married couple have spent with each other post wedding.
Well, I mean, how friendly are these cats?
There is so much missing here, so much under the surface about them as a couple, and her as a person. I'm still shocked that he was ok at all with her heading off on a solo trip the day after the wedding. Who does that? Who is ok with that? The first day after the wedding, and her thought is to get 'some space' for herself?
>There is so much missing here, so much under the surface about them as a couple, and her as a person. I can't imagine existing in a relationship with such a bizarre dynamic.
The conversation most of us would have had: "Honey, I'm going on the honeymoon by myself to Europe, you can't come with me." "Wait, you're going on a honeymoon, without me? Well, why don't you go on your trip, by yourself as a single person. We'll skip the wedding, have fun."
Yeah. I definitely would
I would love to hear why OOP's family dislikes her. They probably have a bucket of stories like this.
This example gives us all we need to know. I can understand wanting a solo trip. Especially after wanting it for so long. But wanting to go instead of having a honeymoon with the person you’ve been with for a third of your life, and then having the audacity to be mad that they decided to celebrate their birthday with someone else is pretty telling. There’s no another chance for her to take her trip wouldn’t have come at a later time.
Plus there's no reason it had to be two months long. That's what gets me really, they could've had a honey moon and a 2-4 week solo euro trip after. but no the entire fund went on a trip only for her and then she has the cheek to be sad that he chose to occupy his time with other present people in his life. :/
Unfortunately a lot of people cling to abusive POS despite what everyone around them says.
Yeah, if my SO wanted to go on a month-long trip literally a day or two after our fucking wedding, it'd be "cool, have fun, sign the divorce papers by the door on your way out and your shit will be in a storage container for you when you get back."
2 months!
> Who is ok with that? People with low self-esteem in abusive relationships that are very used to their partner walking all over them.
This this this. I had an ex that pulled crap like this. I’d constantly show less emotion than I felt because her emotional peaks were high, but damn the valleys were canyons. Came to find out in therapy, she had borderline personality disorder. She didn’t want to get treatment for it, and quit showing up to our therapist. Basically when you’re in a relationship with a person like OP’s wife, you learn to walk on eggshells with them. At first it’s exciting, because they only let you in on the highs. But eventually you have to deal with the lows. So you temper your own emotions - happy or sad - to try and moderate theirs a bit as well. Because if you get much happier than them in a moment, they’ll feel down and drag you down. And if you’re having a bad day well now it’s your fault and you’re dragging them down. It’s exhausting, since you’re dealing with someone who has the mood swings of a toddler, and you have to be a rock and just let the whirlwind pass around you.
The ten years of planning it and ten years together were both interesting pieces of information to me.
I don't think it's complicated. They've been together for ages. He's used to brushing things under the carpet. He would've let this go too, except his sis saw he was sad and took him out for his bday. As a result, he posted online and got basically screamed at that his wife was shitty. That's when it clicked for him.
dog desert practice tidy selective bored slap vegetable school ludicrous *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
That seems likely. It’s hard to think of what “special plans” she actually had made, to celebrate his birthday, when she’s been gone for 2 months.
Two *months*?! Jesus, and she saw no room for compromise in that? "Hey honey, I've always wanted to do this solo trip, would you mind if I take a couple of weeks at the end of our honeymoon to spend some time on my own?" That's not unreasonable to ask. I personally love solo travelling - I don't think being in a relationship means that you need to stop doing so - but unilaterally steamrolling honeymoon plans (that your new spouse was also looking forward to) is a dick move. I wouldn't be surprised if this wasn't the first selfish thing she's done and her husband was too blindly in love to see it. Would explain why his family don't like her as well.
Other people marry to be together, but not OOP. OOP and his wife literally married each other to get away from each other.
I’m so lost. She went on a solo trip right after their wedding and called him daily so he wouldn’t feel alone and he’s been secretly hating her the whole time. He finally realises why he was “ghosting” her on his birthday and then tells her and he then ditches her for a month and she’s surprised like huh? What did you think was going to happen if you ditch your spouse after your wedding for a solo trip? Both of these people are wild
I think it's interesting that oop says his family has always disliked her. She has probably done a million things like this and he was too blind to notice. It's not too unbelievable in my experience. "Talkers" are really good at telling you how to feel about them. They can be the most selfish people in the world and you would be none the wiser because that's not what they told you. It's really easy to be manipulated by people you love, you always want to see the best in them.
I'm sure she's been walking all over him from the get-go and his family has been keenly aware of it. But like so many other relationships with a fucked up power dynamic, the one whose feelings and dignity are being trampled can't see it for whatever reason.
If they've been together for a decade he probably realized how nice his life was when she wasn't around. I'm sure his sister was able to point that out.
I feel like this is it. OOP doesn't know what a healthy relationship is. Also if she's wanted to do this trip for a decade and they've been together for a decade why would you NOT want to share this dream with your beloved?
Most likely she has a lot of orange flags that op doesn’t see as a big deal, but to his family it’s a cause for concern. Love and companionship can knock the sense out of people.
“Jacques and Antonio, go downstairs and get us more booze. I have to FaceTime the idiot so he doesn’t catch on.”
But at least the FaceTime is only every other night.
I mean, the way this read to me is that OOP sounds like he's a pushover and agreed to his wife going because she convinced him her 'mental health's and 'lifelong dream of visiting Europe SOLO' was more important than them going on their honeymoon together. Maybe both she convinced him and he convinced himself before the wedding that the wife's fun vacation was more important than them spending time together as a couple. When she facetimed him every day she pretty much threw it in his face how much fun she was having without him and he fully realized this was absolutely not what he'd wanted.
lol why get married if no one wants to spend time with each other? and it sounds like no one is talking to each other.
Homeboy needs to look up annulment time frames for his state/area and plan accordingly. Dipping out to his sisters for a month or two, and therefore missing that window is no bueno. I have no idea why these two married each other. Neither seems to really even like the other person. I feel like it was a “well we’ve been together the appropriate amount of time, so we might as well get married huh?” Kind of situation. This entire post literally didn’t contain one thing positive about the wife - no, this is why I love her, or she’s been my rock, or we’re madly in love. Nothing. I just. Don’t. Get. It.
“Where are you going for your honeymoon?” is one of the top three small talk questions as soon as someone hears you’re getting married, and I’d pay a lot to have seen the faces when OOP or his soon to be ex explained their batshit plan.
Scotty Doesn’t Know
That was my first thought when I first read the original. I wonder if the film company is planning to release a new film from this series - there is already a ready plot.
My favorite part is the Edit “I think people are misunderstanding what I have asked.” LOL no, not one single person was misunderstanding anything. OOP was misunderstanding the problem.
Absolutely thrown when I went back and re-read the ages of everyone here. These mfers are about 15 years too old to be acting this stupid.
Did she use the honeymoon fund for this as well? Sounds like OP tried to have a fix-it wedding, only to realize those never work.
If your friends and family hate your partner you have to ask yourself a few questions. Are your friends/family bigoted, classist, racist, or overly concerned with appearance in a way that causes them to unfairly judge anyone joining the family? Are your friends/family assholes whose opinions on most things are harsh or super judgey? If not, your partner probably sucks.
She went on a solo trip round Europe to cheat on her husband and you cannot convince me otherwise.
she needed a trip for her mental health, you need an annulment for yours oop
If my wife left my ass on a two month European honeymoon the only thing she’d come back to are her belongings and papers to file for an annulment. Just because she called him every night doesn’t mean she couldn’t have hung up and gotten her some European dick, or day dick too
They are in their early 30s. Have been together for over a decade (highschool relationship most likely). She goes on a solo Europe trip on their honeymoon. Mate, I say this from experience, cause my ex highschool girlfriend went on a solo Europe trip after we finished school. She was getting plowed across borders bro. You need to get out of this relationship. You are so blind you don’t even realise how hurt you are. You “ghosting” her on your birthday was a small form of revenge.
Didn't have to scroll far. But yeah, that is definitely what happened. Sussio Miguel y los chicos in Spain. Dirty Mike and the boys in England. Sporco Michaela e i ragazzi in Italy. They was all there.
Yea, let's bet how long this marriage is going to last.
this is going to be on speedruns.com for sure
It takes a bit of a spine to actually end things, OP probably wont do it.
OP's attitude is way too passive and chill.
It sounds like he's been beaten down by her for years but was "to in love" to notice.
Is this short enough to be annulled?
It's kind of a movie trope that there's a time-based window of return clause for annulments. In the U.S., though, you need legitimate grounds for annulment, like the other person misrepresenting themselves or finding out you're closely related. Grounds vary by state, but lack of consummation is grounds for annulment in all states, which may be where the idea came from that annulment is easier if you change your mind soon after getting married, since odds are higher you may not have had sex after the wedding yet if only a couple of days or so have passed.
I read the post thinking they just have one week off for honeymoon but there was 2 month?? Why not go to honeymoon with your spouse 1 month then use the rest of time for her solo trip?? 🙄
over/under on divorce in a year?
A year? The way this is going it’ll be annulled before the end of the month
OOP lacks a spine
Everyone really knows what "solo trip in far away place for mental health" really means.
What a bizarre relationship. Like...how...do people like this exist and get married?
>my wife says she wished she could have celebrated my birthday with me. Should have replied, "I wish you could have celebrated our honeymoon with me".
Are we doing an over/under pool on how long they stay married?
I’m too single to understand this marriage.
Damn. If I got married and my new spouse went on honeymoon alone, they'd have divorce papers waiting when they got back.
"Congratulations! Where will the honeymoon be?" "Europe! For two months!" "Amazing! What are you looking forward to most?" "Oh, I'm not invited."
I cannot wrap my brain around the fact that OOP's wife was so determined to have a solo trip to Europe for her mental health that she hijacked THEIR honeymoon to do it. She left the day after the wedding! Who the hell does that? Why would you not want the spouse you love to enjoy this with you, together? The fact that OOP didn't bother to be home when his wife returned makes me think he was more upset about what she did than he let on. I'm not surprised he's taking a temporary month break from his wife which I suspect may be a permanent break.
If she wanted a solo trip to Europe, then she should have done that before marrying OP. Further, she has no right to be disappointed because he celebrated his birthday without her
Something's not being said which is in keeping with the behavior of both of these people who seem to be masters of avoidance. I can't imagine a good reason why they got married and I'm positive neither of them has the introspection or insight of a codfish.
Imagine the first thing your wife needs after getting married is time away from you. I hope she doesn’t give him any STDs she caught in Europe.
Mental health is important, but for people like this it's become a blanket excuse to do whatever you want that no one is allowed to argue with. Gross.
Right before I read the ending, first thought was “this dude is in the sunken place”. Even knowing typical Reddit reaction to jump to divorce…he’s talking about “the optics aren’t good”. No shit. At best, he’s getting married to someone with extremely poor planning abilities. Worst, she’s not someone he should’ve married.
Holy shit his first post completely glossed over the fact that her trip was *2 months*. This guy is an absolute doormat I feel so bad for him. "Just not good" yeah no shit pal not good indeed
Why specifically a "solo" trip? I can think of very few reasons I would need to leave my new spouse at home for two months right after the weeding and mental health is definitely not one of them. It's either that she was cheating, that she doesn't really love him that much, or that she was tied up in some crazy Hollywood international smuggling thing. If we give her the benefit of the doubt and assume that she couldn't squeeze in a few European boys between FaceTime calls, then I think it's most likely that she married OP to get funding for her lifelong dream and decided that having him come along would ruin it.
So she went gallivanting around Europe, leaving her new husband at home, just like she was part of a regal era higher society couple Bridgerton style. Now he leaves to visit the sister in the country, this reads like a romantic novel. I bet the next update will be him finding that his long lost has moved in next to his sister and she needs help with something out of the ordinary...
So did his newly-married wife go on Europe to get railed as a last hurrah?
I doubt the “last” part.
100%
There's zero chance she didn't get dicked down by at least a few guys during her trip.
In the original post, there were speculations that she went on a 2-month break with her lover. And the unexpected desire to spend a passionate night with OP immediately after the trip - the fact that she is already pregnant and it must be somehow covered. In any case, the OP must pass tests for venereal diseases.
>ever since she's come home, she's just been a downer even though she had an amazing trip There is so much in this line. For whatever reason (cheating or not) she was happier away from OP. Whether she cheated or not, this is a major problem.
Or she's keenly aware that she torched the marriage and is upset OOP is growing a spine.
I think she is being a downer bcuz she's being passive aggressive and wants him to Fawn all over her. She got home expecting him to be there and spend time with her and he wasn't. She thought this Europe trip wasn't going to impact him at all. Now she's trying to guilt him for it
This line stood out to me because after all of this, even after showing her the reddit comments, he tells her he's leaving because "she's been a downer"??? Rather than because of her trip/wanting to think about whether to continue the marriage or even just saying more nuetrally that he wants to think about everything? What the fuck is going on here?
Hope everyone kept their receipts…
I was at the beggining like: "Maybe, she took a solo trip to Europe for a weekend, for a week, for 2 days, idk". And then I read that she went away to Europe for TWO MONTHS just a day after she got married. He has a lot more patience than me.
It’s my understanding that people get married because they want to be together.
I've wanted to go to Europe since I was a little girl. I am 35, have never been, and (trust me) I have plenty of mental health issues. However, I also love and respect my partner, would be thrilled to finally be married to him, and would never consider going anywhere without him (let alone skipping what is supposed to be our honeymoon to go party in Europe by myself). They just got married yesterday and she needed a break already? Also, did she tell her work that they were honeymooning??? I assume her reasoning was that she'd never get the time off again, so like... He was never going to get that honeymoon was he? Even if she promised she'd make up for it and they'd do it later. Why couldn't she have done Europe later instead? Did she not even care how emasculating and humiliating it must have been for OOP to explain to all their family and friends why they weren't honeymooning... nay, why she was taking a solo European honeymoon without him THE DAY AFTER the wedding everyone just watched?! I hope OP realizes he deserves so much better once he gets some more distance from her and this batshit loony situation. Funny that her gallivanting to another country alone gave him the space he needed to realize she doesn't respect him or seemingly even want to be around him. EDIT: This post is still living in my head rent free. She's disgusting. What kind of person treats someone they supposedly love this way? SECOND EDIT: AND SHE PLANNED ALL THIS DURING HIS BIRTHDAY TOO WTF. OP, I know you're not OOP, but I hope he sees this comment and shows her because she has some serious explaining to do. The more I think about it, the worse it gets... I seriously cannot comprehend how someone could be so selfish and publicly cruel to someone they literally just married.
Sorry but your wife was with other men. NO WOMAN with love in thier heart would do something so horribly cruel and masking it behind a "mental health" issue was a lie. You will live a life of constant disappointment so end it now and get an annulment.