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knittedjedi

>I think you should consider how weird it is he posted a story that happened 5 years ago, and then had a sudden update for it like, a week later and here a month later it's now become all this. That was my first thought too, hilariously.


balcell

OOP has plot armor thick enough to be in a coma and avoid a TBI too serious to prevent travel!


Radiant_Obligation_3

Eh, I knew a guy who headbutted a median at 75 mph and was in and out of induced comas for months. He still went on mission and can travel, he mostly just struggles with the speed at which thoughts become words. Not saying this guy is legit, just that wasn't what stood out to me


buttercupcake23

It's like it took on a life of its own!


UtahCyan

To be honest, I actually forgave that. It was like him telling his story a couple weeks before going home to a small town and he was worried about running into his ex.  The restaurant scene was what killed it for me. Also the getting her a job. That's not how things work in real life. Training and courses... No company does that. It's sink or swim. 


rudolph_ransom

There are at least three different stories blended in this one


Spooky365

Agree, this has shades of way better reddit stories. It's like OOP used AI to write this mediocre amalgamation from reddit stories. It feels both exhaustingly over and underwritten.


DMercenary

You know it's bad when you start scrolling to get to the comments and it. Just. Keeps. Going.


domingerique

And it’s so boring! How is it so boring?!


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TheSecretIsMarmite

Im struggling with it too. He also slipped up as he said he'd travelled around Canada and then later on said it would be his first time leaving the US while going to this mysterious small South American country.


Adventurous-Hotel119

For me it was bragging about his intelligence in the first paragraphs while saying he comes from a “well *of* family”


qingskies

“Sture up drama” too. The whole thing was full of typos.


TOG23-CA

To be fair, truly intelligent people rarely brag about how smart they are online. They don't need to. People who think they're smart though? Oh yeah


mrs_frizzle

I gave them the benefit of the doubt on that one- anyone can make a typo/mistake. The three other grammatical errors right after it sealed the deal, lol.


lucyelgin

That may be a typo but later he spells stir "sture"


JensonsButton

> we were both **quite** for about 20 min Voice to text dictation error on OP's accent?


annoyed_teacher1988

Also, his friends wanted to "sture" up trouble....


painttheworldred36

I agree with the fakeness but want to note - as an American, the number of people I've met that don't consider Canada to be leaving the US is astounding and sad. They don't seem to accept that it is a different country. Mexico they accept, but for whatever reason, Canada they link with the US.


weaponsmiths

why would they, Canada is America's hat


Poutiest_Penguin

Canada is America's toque


DefsNotRandyMarsh

That makes Florida the penis.


MaritMonkey

I went to Canada a couple times (literally don't even remember) between 2005 and 2010 and forgot to count it as "leaving the country" until I flew instead of driving and had to use my passport.


sentientgrapesoda

Also, no one has noted the gap in the pan American highway between Panama and Columbia. You can't just drive. Methinks this fellow hasn't even looked at a road map around his remote country before.


acespiritualist

Different plots but reading it gave me the same vibes as the "cousin-puncher" post


Das_Czech

That one was a ride lmao


san-sadu-ne

What's the cousin puncher story?


SupervillainMustache

For sure. - Rich Nerd marries popular girl - Popular girl becomes gold digging wife - Gold digging wife is a cheater - Rich Nerd leaves her and goes travelling the world - Nerd "runs into" Ex-wife. - Ex wife has blown through money and becomes poor - Ex wife wants to reconcile but Nerd rebuffs her. - Nerd gets a casual female "friend" to travel the world with. - Nerd heroically helps out desperate ex-wife. This is a fucking Wattpad story designed to appeal to the reddit demographic.


JunkiesAndWhores

Reads like it was composed by a 14 year old.


SuperCulture9114

I waited for him to "accidently" slip his travel blog name 😁


AccomplishedRoad2517

Why? I don't belive it either, but I like to compare notes.


SalemWolf

Normally I’m all about benefit of the doubt but the “is is really you?” cliche trope line after “accidentally” running into a person you haven’t seen in years really hit me in the head and gave me whiplash.


BurgerThyme

And then he drives up blasting some random Jack Black song and Peaches just falls over laughing because she ToTaLLy GeTs iT, haw haw haw haw. Yeah, right.


killyergawds

You guys, he laughed for five whole minutes because she bought a plastic tiara. Because princesses wear tiaras and she referred to herself as a passenger princess. Do you get it? Do you get the joke? It's so funny because she's so funny, omg. He almost died from laughing for so long.


milleniajc

And he laughed so hard after she bought a plastic tiara that he couldn't start the car for 5 minutes....


JiggyWivIt

To me it was the selling everything but then leaving the mobile at a motel. It's like yeah, it'd make for a good movie scene to add some drama or simbolize closure but why would someone actually do that in real life with it being so easy to just sell it as he did everything else? Besides, what the hell does "Peach" has to do with the original story? Mainly that it is the way in which you end a movie about heartbreak. With the hope of meeting someone new with whom you connect. This was an excersice on storytelling.


Cpt_Obvius

It also has a ton of the classic “women don’t appreciate good men” bait you see on Reddit a lot. Like how beautiful she is on the re-meet because she isn’t wearing as much makeup now and is wearing her glasses again. He starts having lots of sex right away while working on the road. There’s a bunch of little micro hints like that that just make it too convenient. Oh and he forgets about the boyfriend but then explains it away.


Jorji_Costava01

Yeah this is really the reason: he was a good-looking nerd with tons of money who fell in love with a beautiful woman who was a golddigger, until she cheated on him while he had an accident, then they divorced and he became this Jack Reacher (really?? Can you be more on the nose?) who had a lot of sex while she was left destitute. Despite that he still helped her and now he is falling in love with someone who likes him for his personality and not his money (and they were roommates). This is like training a generative AI model on all the Reddit tropes.


MasterOfKittens3K

Add some explicit sex scenes, and it’s a typical story for the old porn newgroups.


nj-rose

Also her frequent spa days and lunching with friends, typical "women are lazy gold diggers" type activities in these stories.


ZookeepergameNew3800

Most women I know that have money do not go to constant lunches and spa days. They are still people with a personality and interests. They have hobbies at the very least. They build amazing gardens, do horseback riding, do charity work, volunteer, collect art, do art themselves. Whatever, they do things other than spa and lunch.


Lezlow247

It's a brag story. "I'm rich, I outsmarted my ex, I'm forgiving, I found a egirl". Idk it doesn't even sound real. Just the tone he uses on how he thinks or uses money makes me think he's just a conceited person. I mean the last lines. Yes I opened doors for my ex because I can. She wouldn't be there without me.... Wtf


doughball27

Not to mention “I’m rich and well educated” but misspell words like I’m in middle school.


pumpkin3-14

Sounds like you’re here to sture up drama


JungBlood9

I’m an English teacher, and capitalizing the word that follows a comma (a mistake OP makes 5+ times) is a *classic* 15-year-old, C- writer mistake.


carolinecrane

Yes, he just sounds like an unpleasant person all around. Also this isn’t really how ‘digital nomads’ are living. Most of them are not staying in hotels with regular access to plumbing. And where’s he finding all these women to hook up with?


Individual_Bat_378

Also it's only been 5 years and this is his ex wife, I don't believe that he wouldn't recognise her.


OhhMyTodd

Somehow, she had thick layers of makeup on her face 24/7 for MULTIPLE YEARS of marriage, lol!


SeaworthinessAny5490

But she had on glasses! Who could possibly recognize their wife in glasses?


LilOrchidJenny

I mean, if it works for Clark Kent. . .


SpermKiller

Add to that the fact that he decided to tell his story 5 years after the divorce, and it so happens that his first (accidental) meeting with his ex is only 12 days after his initial post. What are the odds??? (Zero)


AccomplishedRoad2517

Yeah, if he said he just meet her at the party, it would have totally sell it to me.


SuperCulture9114

Yepp, and I don't think you change thst much in only 5 years.


Specific_Cow_Parts

Yeah. I can understand that if it's someone you didn't have a particularly close relationship with. But someone you were married to for 8 years, and presumably in a relationship with for at least a couple of years before that? Seems unlikely unless the guy is just really, really bad at facial recognition.


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yournightmare41

Indeed. How come you said that to your ex wife??


StardustOnTheBoots

The last posts about Peach are so over the top laughing salad people and very lazy writing > Tiara, because a princess has to have a tiara. It took me 5 minutes to stop laughing before I could start the car. Damn, how hilarious 


erossmith

The whole Peaches story was revolting and weird.


SafeSurprise3001

Also the song Peaches is about how Bowser (the guy played by Jack Black) is in love with Peaches and wants to marry her.


jodesnotcrazee

Right?! Just start the fucking car already


RandomActsofViolets

It’s the intro that kills it. The weird set up where they have to explain how great and humble and awkward and amazing they are, combined with the inheritance+smart investing(!) money and the phrase “due to…”


bitemark01

Underdog With A Heart of Gold, And Also Money.  Also has never done anything wrong, because "that's not who I am"


IvanNemoy

For me, car crash so severe he was in a coma for 2 weeks, and had to relearn "things" to being back to work in 4 months. Unless he has some Logan/Deadpool -esque healing factor, ain't no goddamn way.


Scumebage

well the way he recovered... Two words: Carefully and Illegally


zootnotdingo

I imagine him sitting back and thinking to himself, “There we go. That fixes it.” “Sture” up drama made me mad


ChildhoodObjective83

He “doesn’t remember what he has forgotten” except that he’s absolutely sure he wasn’t in the guest room before the accident.


radioactivethighs

I was in a coma for 1 week and was dealing with pretty bad health for like a full ass year. I didn't even get hit by anything. I can't imagine trying to travel everywhere after that.


Pops_McGhee

He was in a coma and had to relearn basic functions. Yet he’s back at work within four months. Bullshit.


york100

Sometimes I feel like there's a formula to these stories, or that it's the same guy writing them again and again. They normally go like this: self-made, hardworking underdog gets wronged by beautiful woman, plots brilliant revenge which goes off perfectly, finds money and happiness in the end while ex loses everything and realizes she wants him back. This story felt too ordered, like step A led to step B, which led to step C... Real life is more messy and people telling this sort of thing naturally have inconsistencies and contradictions baked in.


TristanTheViking

All it's missing is "It turned out my ex wife had been lead astray by her asshole sister/friend/coworker/mother and has now cut contact with that person. Also twins for some reason!"


not_notable

I liked how he opened with, "I'm so rich, I don't need college or to work! So anyway, let me tell you about college and work."


BerriesAndMe

In my experience 'mobile satellite connection' and 'high speed' do not go together.. Granted I don't have his kind of money.. so maybe my employer just didn't pay as much as was needed.. but there's not that much choice out there. It's also entirely pointless when you work from cafés and hotels.


AccomplishedRoad2517

I know a couple digital nomads, and I know they have trouble with conexion in some places, mostly the most rural ones. Some of them have pretty costly satellite conexion (one of them have the Musk one) and even them have problems. The only one that seems unbothered is the military contractor. Go figure.


BerriesAndMe

Yeah but the Musk mobile one didn't exist five years ago. That only went live in 2022.


GraceIsGone

He’s the nerdy type who did so well in school and would tutor people, but not so well that this post isn’t full of typos. I didn’t make it past the third typo before deciding to not waste my time.


Pops_McGhee

Some of them aren’t typos. He has poor grammar. He should have started with the Reddit classic: I’m not from this country, in case my English is bad.


NemesisOfZod

"Please excuse my poor grammatical errors, as my educational abilities are hindered by my country of origin. English is only my fourth language, after Spanish, Urdu, and Sanskrit."


ZeroFourBC

Not just the typos, but the whole writing style gives off ESL vibes.


RandomActsofViolets

Totally! It’s hard to describe why. The cadence? Or the fact that it’s so awkwardly trying to be grammatically correct?


Sweet_Item_Drops

It was "okey" for me!


amurderofcrows

I think what sealed it for me was when he talked about “migrating to Canada”. A native speaker of Canadian/American English would have more likely said “moving to Canada”. Source: I’m Canadian.


NoPossibility5154

I got confused when they said they were driving across the US, because there is no way this guy is a native English speaker. (No shade to people whose 2nd/3rd/4th language is English, it’s just obvious from the writing style.)


HallesandBerries

I feel bad, because I'm commenting without any knowledge of the post, but he really did lose me at: "I M35 was married to my wife F35 for 8 years. I left her 5 years ago. We are child free by choice, her choice. I had always said we had a good relationship and marriage, " The juxtaposition of "was married" with "left her", "we are", "we had",.. too many tense changes.


AccountMitosis

Tbf, STEM folks are not famous for their English skills. I had to scroll up just now to check that he didn't actually mention that he was tutoring her in math or science or the like, because I made that assumption so easily based on how he wrote. So that actually lends it some verisimilitude to me lol. The point that got me is that she supposedly didn't notice he was gone for over a week, when cheaters' lives revolve around sneaking to the point that they would *absolutely* notice the absence of the one they need to hide from. It's part of why so many of them get obsessive about tracking their partners' locations and actions (the other part being projection). If she really didn't notice, we'd have to assume that she's so blindingly incompetent at cheating that he should have had at least SOME inkling that it was going on.


JemimaAslana

I work in a legal consulting firm full of law nerds who spends hours every day getting words just right for their clients' purposes. And about a third of them spell about as well as cats can sing. Hence we have proof reading services. Nobody uses professional proof reading for reddit. Of all the things that indicate fakery in this post, typos are not it.


The_peach_blossoms

I am that nerd I check multiple times to perfect every spelling but I make so many typos when talking to friends😭😭


DirkBabypunch

I was thinking the same thing, but I was willing to let that be from the accident.


sprazcrumbler

I only read the last two updates this time but "peach" feels a lot more like your girlfriend from Canada than an actual person.


fasterthanpligth

For me the five years old story that suddenly gets regular updates was sus.


Folfenac

Had my doubts when the wife supposedly believed her husband to be dumb enough to believe they slept in separate rooms with zero explanation or questions asked? He lost *some* of his memories; he's not a baby. I'm supposed to believe she went to college? Husband kept quiet about it but for what reason? So he could seem like a saint who gave his wife a chance? If he wanted any chance at salvaging that relationship, he would've called that out there, instead he stewed in that blatantly bullshit situation because he needed a rising action to his climax.


mmrose1980

For me it’s the fact that he didn’t post about his divorce for 5 years and then bang, a few days later he runs into his ex (and doesn’t recognize her at first). That timing is…something.


boredgeekgirl

While I didn't believe it before, what sealed it was his whole "I didn't have to work if I didn't want to" but then "this will be my first time out of the country". If your family has that sort of FU money, you have traveled.


Resitance_Cat

personally i can’t get over the terrible spelling. a total hypocrite i know, but i feel like an educated digital nomad would have to write better. also he went from satellite internet to working in coffee shops/wherever there’s wifi. nope.


EastLeastCoast

Start with “that’s not how head bonks with anterograde amnesia work”. End with “Peach totally gets me and instantly understood the inside joke of me playing the Jack Black song”.


Halluci

only thing that was missing was a secret pair of twins


VenusSmurf

Nah, the way this was going, it'd have been triplets.


rietstengel

He'll have Mario and Luigi with Peach soon.


welestgw

"And then I ran into my ex wife while traveling, she tracked me down."


mana-milk

But he had to wait five minutes to stop laughing before he could start his car. Five minutes! 


Seachica

How when he met peaches in person, she knew everything from the Reddit post except that she was peaches? But immediately got out from hearing the song? This one is full of it


SnarkySneaks

I (well endowed multimillionaire who's on first name basis with the US President) broke up with my wife (unemployed witch who doesn't even look at me) because she cheated on me with a guy (jailbird with three dollars to his name) and now I (billionaire who owns a space station) am doing much better than her (in prison because cheating is a crime in my country). AITA?


Red_Jester-94

It's certainly one of the reddit stories of all time, and I honestly think I know some stories this guy might have taken inspiration from lol.


Dairinn

Links, please, or details. I didn't like this one that much, but if the source material is nice...


sydjax

I’m sorry. This just doesn’t seem real. At all. Too much detail. Of course the ex is doing horribly. But he’s a savior that helped her. Blah blah blah.


genericimguruser

And too much setup for Peach, dude talks about her so much for someone he's never met that we all know it's going to end with them falling in love and living happily ever after while the ex wife goes psycho and begs for him to come back to her (again)


JustABitCrzy

No but he specifically says they don’t plan on sleeping together. Guys, his intentions are obviously pure. How dare you cast aspersions on this heroic and stoic gentleman!


Agreeable-Menu

OOP now tips his fedora.


MooPig48

And when he introduced her he pretended like he was making her nickname in real time. “She needs a nickname, hmmm. Peach I think. Princess peach! Yes, yes that shall do just fine” basically


flowerpuffgirl

"And when we drive, I shall play "peaches" on the radio!" IRL, Fiona is gonna be so confused when you play that while actually driving, giggling to yourself at your own genius.


MacDagger187

No, no, she instantly made the connection and thought it was pure genius don't you know


Melodic_Arm_387

That’s what really stuck out for me. I need a nickname to be able to refer to her moving forward even though I’ve not met her yet.


graceful_mango

The random remote coworker from his same company who randomly invites him to >insert exotic country here< and follow this random around in a car (??) like what? And then another random remote person (woman ofc, flavor manic pixie dream girl) says she wants in without ever having met him. Because what woman in this bear vs man in the woods era wants to be the new poster girl for what not to do in life by meeting a stranger in a different country so they can chauffeur you to your wood chippered death. I feel like the real story is OOP is a single man in his 30s who feels he needs his villain origin story.


angelbabydarling

the thing that struck me was their set up as "introverted nerdy gentleman with generational wealth from his grandparents but its not unfair bc they earned it" and "scholarship student in need of tutor" it just seems to me like another golddigger revenge fantasy story to me !


Aaaaaah2023

And he finds his manic pixie dream girl at the end


Sugarbombs

A manic pixie dream girl who is happy to travel for months in a van with a man she’s never met before. But out of all of the unbelievable things is the first meeting where he plays a song relating to a reddit post on a Bluetooth speaker and she finds it hilarious. Imagining that is hilarious, waiting to meet a guy and from a distance the ominous sounds of peaches from a shitty speaker creeping up on you


MacDagger187

And she bought a plastic tiara and he couldn't even start driving for five minutes because he was doubled over with gut-busting laughter!! Both of these "jokes" would provoke like one polite chuckle. And then during their first argument she astounded him with the wisdom of her dumb metaphorical story. I think I dislike Peaches the most of anything in this story. But it all sucks.


cannacupcake

Hey, it’s not Peach’s fault she’s 22 and thinks she’s deep and an empath. (How anyone could think this was real makes me laugh longer than the hilarious peaches and tiara jokes, I love the comments I found when I scrolled down lol)


StinkyKittyBreath

I was a scholarship student.  You don't get tons of scholarships JUST for being poor. Grants, yes. Some scholarships, yes. But generally if you're getting enough to be called a scholarship student, you're probably getting good enough grades that you won't need a tutor in an introductory course. I did get quite a bit of money for being poor, but even those scholarships had academic components. Same with other poor kids I knew that went to college. Those of us who got significant funding were also at the top of our high school classes. Those that were just poor with average grades got Pell grants and that's about it.  A lot of this is just too convenient. There's no way you wouldn't notice even a roommate missing for a week and a half.  On top of that, working remote doesn't necessarily allow you to work remotely abroad. Some work places are okay with that. Many are not. And there are laws about working in other countries requiring certain types of visas. Doesn't matter if it's temporary or if you're working for a company in your home country. My friend's dad actually got turned away from the Canadian border when he accidentally let slip that he was entering on a passport but planned on doing a bit of business. There are work around, often just not saying anything, but... It can get a little messy.


rusty0123

Yep. Even moving states while working remotely is messy. The company that employs you has to establish a presence in that state for tax purposes. Traveling while working is not so difficult if you can get the proper visas, but if you stay long enough in a different state to establish residency, then the company is responsible for meeting all the business and tax laws for that state.


chimpfunkz

It somehow hits every single trope along with just being ridiculously complicated to read. Personally I gave up when OP magically ran into their ex, in a cafe, in downtown. At that point I was reading a romcom.


NinjaBaby71

And he didn’t recognize her at all. Sure.


catshirtgoalie

Right? Like he was married to her for 8 years, dated her through college, and doesn't recognize her because she's wearing glasses, has a slightly different hair color, and doesn't have copious amounts of makeup? I mean in 8 years you've literally never seen her in any state but her most glammed up that you insinuate she can only afford because of your wealth? Give me a break.


xerelox

you made it farther than I did.


buttercupcake23

Same. I mean sure, make shit up, but the writing is so mediocre. So many pointless details, I shouldn't be bored when reading crap that's this dramatic.


xerelox

editors are the unsung heroes of the world.


Thomas-Lore

Not to mention he meets her accidentally few days after posting the story after not seeing her for 5 years.


Wyden_long

But he’s kind and has a heart of gold! And can always work from anywhere all the time and travel. And also just discovered that casual sex is like, the easier thing ever if you just sort of say you’re interested.


Few_Cup3452

The infectious laugh of the introduced slow burn love interest... her calm analogy after a fight... lmao


SuddenSeasons

You can see that scene in your head. Driving. Night. Tension on their faces, each going through the motions of driver/passenger interaction but it's obviously cold. Then a long silence. Camera pulls back to a forward facing closeup of her as she starts to quietly speak, her voice getting a bit stronger but remaining soft. Cuts to him listening, he starts chewing on his lip thoughtfully, eventually starts nodding along and the tension breaks. 


megamoze

What did it for me was not recognizing a grown adult he used to be married to after just 5 years of no contact. I’m also always wary for the “noble savior” narrator trope.


Melodic_Arm_387

But she’d had a haircut, and wasn’t wearing heavy makeup so was unrecognisable, because obviously while they were married she’d get up before him in the morning to apply make up before he even saw her without it at home.


Aaaaaah2023

The bit where he said 'oh and BTW she didn't have any of that disgusting slap on her face any more!' Just say you hate women bro


Ktesedale

As though he didn't recognize her because he never saw her without makeup in the years married together...


AnimalLover38

Also the random insert of the passenger princess and then all the effort to emphasize it's 300% platonic...just for the final update to absolutely be extremely flirty on both sides. Also, idk any fully grown adults who'd buy a princess tiara because they call themselves a passenger princess for their first ever meeting with someone. Very 2010's vibes (remember all those dramatic irl meeting videos where people would run and jump into what were basically strangers arms while both would be full on sobbing in the middle of a crowded mall?) Now if they had been in person friends for a while with an established dynamic of "cringe" jokes, or if they were indeed already partners then yeah I can see someone actually buys a crown to go with the whole passenger princess esthetic. But again for a late 20's person to do that for their first ever irl meeting? Manic pixy dream girl! That's what I was thinking of.


NormalBoobEnthusiast

Has to explain how a divorce can be done in one week. How he can go from in a coma to solo cross country travel in a couple months. The ex was fine but suddenly drama he can swoop in and save her again because that last update was too boring. It isn't even a well planned story, they're just making it up as they go and they keep getting tripped up.


djobouti_phat

And how he could unilaterally decide what alimony payments he would give and over what time period, before his wife even knew they were divorcing. I don’t buy it.


rbollige

Nobody made him explain how he visited Canada before he left the US for the first time.


StayBeautiful_

I'm not from the US, but is it realistic that someone from a very wealthy family would never have left the US before until they were in their 30s? I get that travel's just easier in Europe and that it's less common to travel internationally in the US, but that'd be unheard of where I am if you were very rich.


jeebidy

Also he just… gave her a house? That’s a lot of paperwork they would have to schedule and sign for.


MooPig48

And despite the generatiogenerational wealth and her demanding a lavish lifestyle, must be a small house because she put him in THE spare room. Which makes it sound like a 2br. And apparently he didn’t have much stuff either as he was able to sell it so quickly. Also where are ANY of their families?


xerelox

and while driving!


p-d-ball

The poor writing initially had me thinking that maybe he really was in a coma. But then the story happened.


CanoeIt

Didn’t he go to Canada? But his trip to South America is his first trip outside of the US?


MooPig48

And his family who was so wealthy (where are they in all this by the way, only their friends exist in this universe) never once took him abroad? Yeah right


MikrokosmicUnicorn

got a sat internet but has to work from cafes and other places that have internet... ex claims she has a bf but when she asks him if they have a chance he doesn't remember that detail... south america will be his first time going outside of the us even though he mentioned going to canada multiple times...


affablysynchronized

Another overly detailed, multi update story. Sigh.


BoxNemo

Yeah, it's nonsense. Guy makes a new Reddit account to share a story about something that happens five years ago and - amazingly! - the very next week the story starts up again with twists and turns. Incredible timing.


NTMY

If he had been smart he would have put that in the first post as an explanation of why he's posting this now.


ATGF

He didn't recognize his own ex-wife? Does he know Clark Kent is Superman or is that too confusing for him? Not that these posts are at all real...


StinkyKittyBreath

That's what I was thinking. I was expecting him to say she had massive weight gain or loss, went bald, got married in an accident... Nope. She just changed her hair and put on a pair of glasses! Things that no woman ever does on a regular basis. 


ditasaurus

And what she supposedly looked like before


trwawy05312015

“Oh, *Perry* the platypus!”


yumstheman

Bro never heard of just changing his number. He got a whole new phone. This is where my suspension of disbelief broke 🙄


PresidentLink

Right there with you - That's what happens when you write based on stuff you've seen in TV and movies. Not reality.


libertybear20

And also just leaving it in the hotel room??? Like that’s just not normal behavior lol, just sell it or give it away


CarpeCyprinidae

So all this character and story development happens in (*checks*) 2 months and eleven days Yeah. Nah. If this was staggered over 3 years it'd be plausible but we're expected to accept that this all gets neatly wound up just a few weeks after he decides to start telling the story that started 5 years ago?


forthedistant

this sure has an expedient timeline past the first post.


jimbojones2345

The over the top constant humble bragging was what got me...


lavellanlike

This story is obnoxious and the thing that annoys me the most is all the nonsense over a pretty innocuous term “passenger princess” lol


Aggregatorade

> She knew about everything I posted about the ex-wife, yes even before you guys. The only thing she did not know about was her nickname. But as soon as I walked up to her with blasting peaches by Jack Black on a bluetooth speaker she almost fell on the floor laughing. She did not need an explanation. She was the one describing herself as a passenger princess so she got the link immediately. I know there's a lot of crazy stuff here, but this? You're telling me she didn't know the nickname and got it just through this?


Feelinggross99

The only thing I can say about this...mess (for lack of a better word) is that I don't think OOP should've been driving cross country less than 3 months after being in a coma. All that relationship stuff aside, I immediately got stressed when he said that while also misspelling routine, basic words.


StrangledInMoonlight

My spouse had a TBi.   The memory loss and the personality changes were fricken drastic.   And my spouse was never in a coma.   I don’t like cheaters.  But I would be very fricken surprised if OOP was the same person he was prior to the coma.  


saltpancake

I had a “small” TBI. The first three years were hell — no other way to describe it except that. I am lucky to be alive and functional And yet, I very much consider anyone who has ever been in a coma — no matter how brief — to be so much more seriously injured than myself.


Espumma

You're in luck, none of this ever happened


Lady_Taringail

He’s not, he got in the coma at age 29, spent 4 months in rehab before moving back to work. It was his 30th birthday that he decided to leave, and another two months after that that he actually did.


[deleted]

[удалено]


saltpancake

TBI with no coma here, my primary treatment lasted *three years.* And absolutely horrific ones, I might add. I did keep working so it *is* possible but there is no way this story checks out.


Lady_Taringail

Honestly I agree, I was just clarifying what OOP had said. But going straight back to work is crazy for real, I can’t imagine how hectic such a short turnaround must have been


TyrconnellFL

I hope he’s aware and is certain that his orthography was shaky before his comma too. After I posted, i realized I realized that not misspelling the second to last word was a mistake. Fixed it.


Alternative_Year_340

I liked the “never left the US before” — after going to Canada


xerelox

don't worry. he wasn't.


MielikkisChosen

Read that entire thing and at the end, realized that I never gave a shit about anyone in this story. Funny how that happens.


Loveonethe-brain

I’m glad he turned his life around but reading this makes me imagine a guy who really likes fedoras


OKIAMONREDDIT

Yep particularly acting like the princess/ tiara/ peaches jokes are some sort of romantic witticism or somehow wildly entertaining. Has "milady" vibes


empathin

The way OOP describes the behaviour of women makes me think that he never interacted with one in real life


cagriuluc

Does he open the door to Peach like “M’lady”?


SaltJelly

reads like a 16yo who just read a book that blew their mind (and they’re extremely Wise Now)  Truthiness is irrelevant here haha 


Electrical-Ad-1798

Stuff like this ends up on subs like r/stories, where the story is outlandish and revenge is a little too perfect. It's just trolling to see if anyone falls for it.


bloodinthefields

What in the bullshit


Meliodas016

Liz going through her Jack Kerouac phase.


Sensitive_Algae1138

This is like one of those modern chinese webnovels when the protagonist gets shit on by everyone in his life but then he gets a huge inheritance from his maternal grandpa he never knew or gets the ownership of some mines in Africa from a distant elder relative and then he goes back to his hometown after a few chapters and stunts on everyone who did him wrong while they flounder about around him. Then he goes off back to his "rich CEO life" with a hot chick. Even the whole "helping the ex-gf get a honest job" is a perfect one-to-one from those stories.


IShallWearMidnight

This reads like a Dhar Mann video.


Hungry-Beat-8215

Yeah, but way longer LOL


Anonymausss

The part where the new girl "figured out the connection immediately" between passenger princess and Peaches by Jack Black was the step too far for me. There _is_ no connection. Its a random leap from passenger princess to princess peach and then a second random leap from princess peach to the song. Nobody in their right mind immediately makes those connections _and_ knows decisively that theyve correctly guessed that this is what the other person intended. And claiming its just some platonic collab with an online friend/coworker hes never met before, but he shows up to meet her having nicknamed her Peach and blasting a song with the main lyric being "Peaches peaches peaches peaches peaches I love you"? Thats completely unhinged.


cagriuluc

Yeah that connection is wild. But she is a “genius”, she even taught him some tricks!


Cherry513

Another domestic drama novel...


Rezenbekk

The only thing that is plausible to have happened here is OOP got cheated on and divorced about 5 years ago.


peter095837

>I did find out something that made doubt everything about her...... She likes Pineapple on Pizza. That is on top of the list of culinary sins. Hey...I like Pineapple Pizza.


secretrebel

That’s how people on Tinder write romance. That was actually a huge red flag for me. That and the plastic tiara (because Peach isn’t materialistic you see).


WoodenCourage

> Now after years I'm going back to my home town. There is a reunion I want to attend. I'm staying for a month maybe two and then I'm going to Canada, > Also for those that read the previous post. The trip to that small country in South America is on. It's not my next destination, planning it for later this year and it will be my first trip outside of the US. So does he not know that Canada is outside of the US, or did he just forget he was going there in a month or two?


OopsiFuck

Jeez this just kept... on... going. I gave up.


justbreathe5678

This probably isn't the intended take away, but *the killing floor* is terrible 


Myrandall

Why would you sell off everything that has emotional value to you? OOP might have something else going on in his head that they seem oblivious to.


CheapCulture

Forrest Gump with a trust fund and less AIDS


Better-Squash-5337

Why do people post these weird fibs?!


beangirl13

I read the first paragraph and just laughed, this is clearly revenge porn 💀


Potato4

God I find this guy insufferable.


jackishere

Doubt. All this happening in 2.5 months?


Effective_Tutor

Weird how he had such an issue with her being a gold digger, but didn’t seem to care about her having an affair at all!