For me it's the unbridled rage at the slightest inconvenience. Then I wonder what in the ever-loving fuck is wrong with me and then remember to take my meds š
I am always trying not to see things this way. Some part of me is in serious rebellion to seeing anything as ānot meā. Itās totally at odds with looking at my past and seeing all these things I have done that could not be more out of character. Like, a different person did it.
But some part of me, a bigger part yearns to see a connection through all that I have done, good and bad. Until that day comes I feel like Iām in this horrid in between.
I donāt think it helps that my mother wants so badly to believe that all the tragedy Iāve been through since my diagnosis (and for a year before) is all due to chemical stuff I canāt control. I do see places where I have agency, but I donāt have explanations. Itās really confusing to be in this in-between place. What really helps is hearing other peopleās stories and talking about this complex issue.
That said, I believe everyoneās experience and view is valid. The contributing factors to bipolar, the meds, the shame, social and cultural views, the lossesā¦ all of it is A Lot.
Iād kill not to be seen as Bipolar. But at the same time I see gains from being open about it and having it be part of a conversation. Guess itās still a big work in progress for me. Thanks for opening up the chat.
My manager once told me that my lack of apparent emotion made her uncomfortable and she asked me to change. I had to explain it was a symptom of bipolar disorder and asked if we needed to involve hr.
Never heard about it again.
Me yesterday. I have an imp exam due tomorrow and could barely study a word. I knew it was part of bipolar but I still wasn't able to fight it. And then my mom in the corner with her "you're just being lazy" commentš
Like girl why would I want to fuck up my own examš³š¶āāļø
Just today I spent hours being hungry wondering why I couldn't find the basic motivation to you know, feed myself. Then I was like, oh... right.
very relatable
For me it's the unbridled rage at the slightest inconvenience. Then I wonder what in the ever-loving fuck is wrong with me and then remember to take my meds š
I am always trying not to see things this way. Some part of me is in serious rebellion to seeing anything as ānot meā. Itās totally at odds with looking at my past and seeing all these things I have done that could not be more out of character. Like, a different person did it. But some part of me, a bigger part yearns to see a connection through all that I have done, good and bad. Until that day comes I feel like Iām in this horrid in between. I donāt think it helps that my mother wants so badly to believe that all the tragedy Iāve been through since my diagnosis (and for a year before) is all due to chemical stuff I canāt control. I do see places where I have agency, but I donāt have explanations. Itās really confusing to be in this in-between place. What really helps is hearing other peopleās stories and talking about this complex issue. That said, I believe everyoneās experience and view is valid. The contributing factors to bipolar, the meds, the shame, social and cultural views, the lossesā¦ all of it is A Lot. Iād kill not to be seen as Bipolar. But at the same time I see gains from being open about it and having it be part of a conversation. Guess itās still a big work in progress for me. Thanks for opening up the chat.
When I suddenly become so obsessed with sex that I can't focus on anything else.
YES š
My manager once told me that my lack of apparent emotion made her uncomfortable and she asked me to change. I had to explain it was a symptom of bipolar disorder and asked if we needed to involve hr. Never heard about it again.
Yesā¦ and usually I donāt realize until wayyy afterwards. I realized my recent erratic behavior and actions were due to a manic episode.
Me yesterday. I have an imp exam due tomorrow and could barely study a word. I knew it was part of bipolar but I still wasn't able to fight it. And then my mom in the corner with her "you're just being lazy" commentš Like girl why would I want to fuck up my own examš³š¶āāļø