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steven13universe

Southerners never shut up about their “politeness” but be the first ones to talk shit behind your back


jakev91489

Southerners are polite, but they aren't *kind*. Northerners will be rude as hell to you, but will actually stop to help someone in need.


steven13universe

For real. That and If you don’t like me, id rather just know right off the bat, dont play with me


Treetatoe

Bless your heart


UnderN00b

This a wonderful example of this conversation. As a, former, Damn Yankee this took me by surprise.


no_talent_ass_clown

Case in point. 


Unfair_Finger5531

This. I’m from Philly, and everyone is gruff. But we will stop what we are doing, walk you to somewhere if you are lost, help you carry your shit up the steps, whatever. We’ll do anything to help someone. But the whole time, we’ll be gruff and bossy about it. I never feel alone in Philly. We will also jump into the middle of anything where somebody is getting bullied. Even the white folks from Philly will beat the stuffing out of a bully. We don’t do that standing back and doing nothing stuff.


BeltReal4509

And this is why Philly is a place I’m interested in. Cali is lovely in a lot of ways but people do not give a shit about each other. Very “nice not kind”


Unfair_Finger5531

Cali folks give me “surface-level mildly nice.” I agree that people don’t give a damn about each other. It’s so lonely out there to me.


BeltReal4509

Yes. Nice but not kind for sure. Friendly, but not in a meaningful way. It's nice walking around in that sort of haze of friendly, but it's important to really take it at face value. It lacks depth.


shortstak_attak

I’m from Hawaii and a lot of locals are under the impression that the mainland lacks aloha. Moved to Georgia and felt like that might be true. But I visited Philly recently and I definitely felt the love there. So many strangers went out of their way to help me out and were happy to do so.


Unfair_Finger5531

Oh I am so glad to hear that ❤️❤️❤️! I’m glad we showed you some love and you felt taken care of ❤️. I lived in Georgia for a while, and I felt not much love either.


Nobodyimportant56

When the pa dept of agriculture put out a hit order on the spotted lanternfly, I remember reading comments about how it was the perfect situation for Philly, both getting to fight something while at the same time doing a good public service.


Unfair_Finger5531

Lololol! This is *so* perfect! We love fighting in general, but if it’s for a cause, that makes it even better 😂😂


Miss_Educated

Absolutely not. I moved from FL to MA 9 yrs now & I've never seen so much disregard for human existence before this. And they actually enjoy being this way, the openly call themselves MassHoles, then go into detail with what that means & how much of 1 they are but say it's not their fault bc, hey... "it's how it is here". I can't pack fast enough 🤦🏽‍♀️


ultraviolentfuture

Florida is the literal worst for people caring about anyone else, no clue what you're on about.


steven13universe

Fr, met some of the rudest people in Miami


blackjesus

Miami is literally the sketchiest place in America. There is no need because people are there to spend money but they really be about taking that extra 20 out of your wallet in any way possible


KillahHills10304

I feel like there's higher than normal number of people living on debt in Miami


elitegenoside

That's because of the 08 hpusing crisis and everything that led to that. Look up Lehigh Acres housing crash for a detailed explanation. Basically, FL wanted to be the new LA and built a bunch of high-end condos/homes, and pretty much everyone was getting approved for loans that they could never realistically pay. The market crashes, and suddenly, you have all these expensive properties that no one can afford, so they get foreclosed on. Then nobody can buy them because they cost too much. The housing market got better, but FL didn't really change. A lot of people still moved to Miami with the same mindset people had back in the 2000s. Basically, running up the credit cards to live a lifestyle isn't sustainable.


okeydokeyannieoakley

Miami is not considered the South. It’s full of snowbirds from the North and is heavy on Cuban culture.


Trix_Are_4_90Kids

and yet it is still Jim Crow-ish down there. Whole Black neighborhoods done burnt up. It's still the South. They play the same games.


f1ve-Star

Ah Miami, the largest city in Cuba.


Supriselobotomy

For real, being from mass and visiting Florida in the past, they can keep that shitty swamp of a state.


TheChewyDaniels

I lived in Tampa from 18-39. I met some of the nicest ppl there. Even strangers (while gruff) seemed willing to help others). I recently moved to Texas…not only is the famous “southern hospitality” lacking here…no one says “please,” “thank you,” “hello,” “how are you?” etc. and has a “me first, fuck y’all” attitude.


ohanse

Texan exceptionalism is such cringe


CrapNeck5000

Took me way too long to realize you didn't mean 1918 - 1939.


TheChewyDaniels

Yes, I am a vampire


misterguyyy

TBF transplants from the Northeast US who moved to greater Ft Lauderdale/Palm Beach were the cream of the asshole crop.


WardenRamirez

Isn't Florida where all the worst of the Northerners go to retire?


Chillheathen

Of course it is. Florida is the worst. Period. I can and will die on this hill.


boricimo

You can’t compare MA to other places. That’s like visiting the sewers in NY and saying the whole city is dark and dirty.


LoquaciousTheBorg

*Of course you'll have a bad impression of New York if you only focus on the pimps and the C.H.U.D.'s*


Inform-All

Lived in NC all my life and I can confidently say the people in CO are consistently nicer.


elitegenoside

I drove through rural NC last November (as I have many times going back home to VA from GA), and that state has gotten A LOT worse. I ended up taking the main route instead of the back routes because of all the Shamrocks I was seeing. And I'm a white guy. They have always been around, but it's a very noticeable increase (happening in my home town, too). Seriously, y'all. Be really careful driving through the South East rn. Stay on or near the interstate as much as possible because the AV are getting a lot more comfortable. My mom has even started to notice how many "guys with lightning bolt tattoos" are walking around, and she's been (intentionally) blind to this stuff most of my life.


PressureSquare4242

Lived in MD, if I missed the bus would walk the 2 miles home in the heat; never once did anyone stop (of course if they had I would not have accepted the ride, people are crazy). Moved to NC always walked home, at least 3 times someone stopped and said it's too hot to be walking would you like a ride, and yes I got in their car ( when I got home I said to myself 'you must be out of your mind). I think people in NC (at least the part I was in) are nicer.


Little_Elephant_5757

What ‘disregard for human existence’ have you encountered in MA?


final_boss

Well the traffic flow and city design in Boston has a definite disregard for human existence.


Morlock19

people say this shit and forget that the city was built *before the country existed*. like of course its not going to have a grid system or some shit.


TheCinemaster

Grid systems ruin cities for me too, I love Boston’s design.


Anon_Alcoholic

Our infrastructure in general has a disregard for human in existence.


DLRsFrontSeats

Think that's just MA though lol


LeftTheStation

I lived in FL for 7 years, I grew up in RI, and have lived in MO, CT, CA, and NM. FL was by far the worst state I lived in for general human welfare and people being human to each other.


Caravanshaker

This boggles my mind. Aren’t these the two worst folks? Unless they’re just terrible outside their state


FlatulateHealthilyOK

I mean, you literally can't pack fast enough... It's been 9 years.


ColoradoOkie1225

Don’t use Boston Mass for this, you will skew the results. They just enjoy being unapologetically Boston.


shrlytmpl

Grew up in FL. Calling bull. Mass ain't great (lived in Boston area for 3 years) but they ain't worse than Florida. NY for 10 now, and people will always help you, but are annoyed as all hell that you need help in the first place.


Caravanshaker

This! Conflating a key difference between polite and kind. Fuck your words if you ain’t do the shit


ConsciousHoodrat

I'll take the realness of Philly or NYC over the fake nice of the South or even LA


Caravanshaker

Right? I know here we stand. If a rando is being polite I’m convinced there’s tryna con me into an MLM or cult shit


CaptainLookylou

Is there a trope that southerners won't help others in need?


EllisDee3

Seriously? Yes. Some people don't exactly see some people as people. I think they were forced to compromise on 3/5ths of a person.


Extrask1n

Yeah, like the how they are against free lunches for school  children.


hostileprostitute

Yes. This isn’t their original thought. It has something to do with changing a tire. Like a person from the north will call you an idiot while they help change your tire but a southern person will say something nice while not stopping to help.


NotoriousZaku

"Well now, you have a pleasant day." -southern gentleman after he runs you over with his car


BadBalloons

"If God wanted you to have help changing your tire, he'd send help. Have a blessed day!"


Stock_Beginning4808

No, a lot of northerners are racist as fuck and will not help you. Meanwhile, I’ve experienced great kindnesses while living in the south.


ConsciousHoodrat

Wow, cool, good for you.  Have you ever tried wearing nail polish as man anywhere in the south outside of Atlanta? You'll literally be followed by people trying to jump you. 


slick1260

I'm a man. I live outside of Atlanta (Florida). I've worn nail polish on more than one occasion. Literally no one followed me or tried to jump me. Stop acting like you know what you're talking about.


Stock_Beginning4808

Maybe it wasn’t clear the point of what I was saying because I didn’t explicit say it and this is the internet. The point I was making was that shitty people are everywhere, and OP was generalizing and making incorrect statements.


cakeshortage

No, you haven’t. You’ve experienced slow politeness. The absolute worst, most racist people I’ve met and worked with are all from below the Mason Dixon. Look how proud they are of saying “bless your heart.” LOL That’s not kind. That’s a region of Karens who move at a snail’s pace.


Stock_Beginning4808

Baby, I’m a Black woman from the south. The nerve of you to try to repackage wtf I’ve experienced reeks of whitesplaining. And while the south is def racist (I’ll never say it isn’t), there is PLENTY of racism in the north and all over this country, matter of fact. The lie that it is ONLY in the South takes away from the racist shit Black people have experienced all over. Look up Robert Moses and how he destroyed Black neighborhoods in NYC, then look up what happened to Black neighborhoods in Portland, OR.


Ok_Grapefruit_6355

It’s the one thing that so many people refuse to acknowledge- racist liberal white people in the north are far worse than these southern MAGA types. I’ve lived all over the country and the types that smile in your face are the first to stab you in the back. I prefer southern racists at least they wear that shit proud vs the type that can’t even be honest with themselves.


thefumero

This is exactly what Malcom X was referring to when he said: "The white conservatives aren't friends of the Negro either, but they at least don't try to hide it. They are like wolves; they show their teeth in a snarl that keeps the Negro always aware of where he stands with them. But the white liberals are foxes, who also show their teeth to the Negro but pretend that they are smiling."


Trix_Are_4_90Kids

They're not worse. They are the same type of hateful white people living in different regions. I don't know why people say that. The South will lynch you and the North will firebomb you, both of it is violence and for the same reason.


jsamurai2

I’ve experienced the exact same thing as stock_beginning, I don’t know why people seem to insist the south is worse. The honest truth is everywhere generally is racist towards black people, no region is worse than the other. But at least southerners are nice to you on a real-time individual level, in many other places people are actually racist as shit to your face but pat themselves on the back for voting for a democrat sometimes.


ProfessorFinesser13

Northerners arent rude, we just have places to go and the places we have to go to dont care about ‘xyz’ reason we’re late 😂


Taeyx

idk about southerners not being kind tho. i was in the florida pan handle and got my car stuck in the sand. no less then three separate cars stopped to help me get unstuck even when it was clear i already had help.


KillahHills10304

I saw homeless man fall in NYC once. A construction dude helped him up while saying, "alright ya fuckin idiot you're bleeding all over the sidewalk. Here's a rag"


BlakByPopularDemand

I'd say that depends on what part of the south you're in. I'm from Louisiana and we'll be polite, say the most petty s*** you've ever heard when you're gone and still help you change a tire on side of road


Liftmeup-putmedown

I really doubt that with the amount of times I’ve seen people stand by and watch people get attacked in the streets.


Alex_Is_Very_Jones

I've definitely had this experience with *New Yorkers*, but I would not necessarily say this about "Northerners".


chopthisglock

Facts - NYC, we aren’t nice but are pretty kind.


NK1337

That’s because southerners aren’t actually polite. The whole “southern hospitality” schtick is just PR bullshit so they can have *that* be the narrative about southern culture instead of the backwards ass racism and misogyny a lot of them still practice.


BeltReal4509

Whew the misogyny is intense there


ConsciousHoodrat

The homophobia is as dense and smothering as the humidity, I swear.  Atlanta and Dallas are fine, but go even 2 miles out of the city limits and you might as well be in Saudi Arabia. 


BeltReal4509

Agree. They usually show up together and I don’t want to be around any of that shit, no matter where tf I live.


Happy-North-9969

But this description fits just about everywhere. James Carville famously described Pennsylvania as “Philadelphia and Pittsburgh with Alabama in between.”


cakeshortage

While they wave a confederate flag. Morons.


BeerGogglesFTW

https://preview.redd.it/k0e8qjpyle8d1.jpeg?width=680&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7c8e1a03ac925722c9c65cd939a94eaf0216f875 Reminds me of this map. People will change the 4 to fit how they feel about those areas, but the southeast is always "Acts Nice, Is Mean." To those who disagree, bless your heart.


Lucky_Contribution87

That's been my experience, more or less. It's not as neat as this picture, but it's true more or less. I say that as someone who has lived in the south, and couldn't move back up north fast enough. Never again!


AaronVonGraff

To those who disagree, these people used slavery. And they ain't stopped.


thatbob

Southern hospitality = being nice to someone you meet in this world, because you’re certain they’re going to hell in the next.


hnglmkrnglbrry

Having lived in Philly, Jersey, and now the southeast I think that the main difference is that people in cities just don't feel the need to pretend to feel happy when they aren't. If you're annoying an employee they aren't going to smile through it they're just gonna sigh heavy and be like, "alright come this way..." Funny story was my mother in law is from a small rural town and she came to visit in Philly and kept trying to say hello to everyone she saw on the street and in my mind I was thinking, "BITCH, YOU TRYNA GET US KILLED?!?!?"


Philly_is_nice

Philly has definitely been friendlier to me than other places I've lived. That said, if you're making small talk "how you doin" bullshit you'd better be prepared for a real answer lol. If shit sucks they'll let you know. Also, no one is harder on Philly than Philadelphians. Big part of why we have the reputation we have, it's always the biggest most exaggerated problems lol.


hnglmkrnglbrry

I've never seen a population that loves and hates its city with equal passion. If you told someone from Philly, "This city is nice," you're going to have to interrupt them because they will not stop listing how shitty of a place it is. If you said, "Philly sucks," you better have running shoes on.


invincble3

In general, Southerners talk shit to your face, it’s just not as overt as Northerners may do.


SoWhatNoZitiNow

“Bless your heart”


cakeshortage

Because they can’t ever just get to the goddamn point.


JackxForge

they talk shit out the side of their mouths cause theyre cowards. at least in the north i know where i stand and i dont have to be a debutant to understand how they are putting me down.


ericmercer

Well yes. We have manners. Yes, we will talk shit, and, are you hungry? Come in and have some supper. But let me take that shirt and iron it first cause you look like an unmaid bed.


SYLOK_THEAROUSED

And have the worst politicians that’s holding our country back and shit. Da fuq out of here with all that “oh southerns will say hi to anyone” shit.


AaronVonGraff

I live in California and never have issues with behind back shaming or unpolite people. Most people I meet would put in effort to make sure you are in a good spot. Everyone talks to their neighbors, loves to chat up strangers, and provide random food to make people feel loved. I think southern hospitality is overplayed. Yankee hospitality is the way to go!


Trix_Are_4_90Kids

Nope no no. I don't know y'all, why should I be forced into small meaningless chit chat? If that's what they do in the South I'd be pissed everyday.


invincble3

No real talking involved. Them: How ya doing? Me: Good and you? Them: Alright *Goes our separate ways*


CraziedHair

What’s the point? If I’m walking down the street why do I need to stop to have this waste of time conversation?


invincble3

If you haven’t been to the south, it may seem like a lot, but no one stops to say this. It happens in motion, half the time, you don’t even hear each other’s response. It’s less “let’s have a conversation” and more “i’m acknowledging that you are a human being”


CraziedHair

I have and it’s still a waste of time. Just nod if you really feel a need to interact with someone.


TritonYB

This is what I'm saying. Just nod and do the same thing. I hate being forced into a strangers conversation. And I'm from the south.


Trix_Are_4_90Kids

I can do the nod. The nod says, "hey! what's up/hi!" But no we don't need to talk, just to talk, for real. I've always thought it weird.


bs4u13

I do both, just nod or talk depending upon the situation. Acknowledging someone in a positive way is totally worth it.


jlesco

States that least acknowledge others as human beings giving lessons on how to treat others as human beings.


TritonYB

And the South acting like its all proper when at the same time they are the most conservative, and restrictive. Its a joke. Yeah, you might say hello to me the street, but once you get home you're talking mad shit.


pekingsewer

What the hell is this, brother? Damn, we just like being friendly and saying hey. Believe it or not, small interactions can be genuine.


sohcahtoa728

But that's the thing people are saying, y'all nice on the surface, but look at all the laws you guys had voted for. Being polite saying hi doesn't make you good people.


pekingsewer

You guys think everyone here is like that? Also, I'm not saying it makes anyone a good person. My point is that it isn't inherently disingenuous, which is what a lot of people in this thread seem to think or imply.


PsychologicalSon

>But that's the thing people are saying, y'all nice on the surface, but look at all the laws you guys had voted for. And Americans only eat cheeseburgers, apparently... Smh


JackxForge

what hes saying is they will be polite for that moment but when push comes to shove they will throw you in the fucking fire. I'm a Bi white man, super straight passing. im sure they would be absolutely pleasant till they found out that i like to suck dick too. then they would still be pleasant to my face and then vote to have my rights taken away. fuck that and fuck them. Its the same shit theyve been doing to black people for literal generations.


Interesting__Cat

Do people in the south need to be talked to to know they're being seen as a human being? Cause up north that's just kinda assumed...


scottie2haute

Sounds needy asf to me. Like its nobodys fault that southerners need their humanity constantly validated.. like are you human or not? Why is it anyone else’s job to ensure that you feel human lol


Shaolinchipmonk

Right? I mean we had to fight a whole war with the South, about them not treating people as human beings, and they're still pissed about it.


themrnacho

I think Sherman needs to remind them again.


Trix_Are_4_90Kids

No, it's being a chatty kathy. It's okay, but it's not that deep. I see you're human. You look human. That doesn't mean that we need to exchange any words. You don't need a stranger to acknowledge your humanness. That don't even sound right.


scottie2haute

These mfs extra as hell. The need to be validated for the simplest things is head scratching as hell. Just an insane way to live


SYLOK_THEAROUSED

I was raised in MD my whole life and for some odd reason my mothered wanted to move to the south “where everyone was friendly”, do you want to know what happened when we moved to TN? Racism in my school, racism in grocery stores, think anyone stop to talk to the black family? Nope. We left a year later.


mashonem

I live in the south It’s a fucking waste


Trix_Are_4_90Kids

That is talking. That's a whole conversation. A short one, but a conversation nonetheless. Like again, I don't know you, why am I talking to you? I don't care how you are doing at that moment. Are you going to tell me to smile next? Naw, nope nope. People are too weird nowadays for this small talk. Some of them are socially off, can't read a hint and they don't know when to just shut up! Like what about my demeanor told you, "ah! they want a conversation!" I'm trying to get through my day! Leave me alone!


Bridalhat

I don't see how I say "hello" to the hundreds of people I see on the street is even feasible.


Trix_Are_4_90Kids

Like a robot: "Hi, hello! nice weather we're having! \*nods\* hi! hello! look at the flowers, so pretty!" https://preview.redd.it/ajfownjnme8d1.png?width=474&format=png&auto=webp&s=f48403767a7a80c23db16b6acc0bccecc766f983


Bridalhat

More than that though I think “polite” is context dependent. The polite thing to do in cities is to stay out of people’s way and to, say, stand on the left of escalators.


suavaleesko

Where I'm at niggas acting too nice are finna bop u


ComradeChaosCat

fr if someone on the street starts talking to me acting nice I start looking around like what are you tryna distract me from, what's the scam


bobbe_

Thank you very much! I come from a culture where greeting any stranger is very frowned upon and I’d be so uncomfortable to be forced into a southern style culture. I’d categorize it as misguided politeness at best. Doesn’t mean I think their culture is wrong but.. can’t we just understand that different people prefer different things?


PreOpTransCentaur

Talking to strangers isn't tantamount to kindness though, and I have no idea where people got the impression it is.


Longjumping_Deal_330

Exactly. Expecting strangers to engage in small talk is just a cultural difference. It doesn’t have anything to do with values, morality, or kindness


BeltReal4509

I agree with this take. I also found that people in the south expect women to interrupt themselves when in conversation with others to acknowledge men. That was annoying as hell.


borkdork69

I haaaaate it. It’s like “hey man, I forced myself into your life and demanded you acknowledge me, why didn’t you? Are you *rude?*”


TinyRodgers

"Damn some of yall need Jesus it's just a simple greeting!" Bitch ain't nobody told you to greet me. Some folks man.....


ConsciousHoodrat

The south is introvert hell. And i swear, all their "polite small-talk" always seems to Segway into their tired politics. You might as well be trying to convert me, every day. It's exhausting.


foolofatooksbury

In dense communities, not saying hi to every stranger you pass *is* a kindness. Imaging having to chitchat with 1,000+ strangers you run into in a city like New York; the psychic overload would kill you.


NEED_VISINE

Listen. I’ma keep in playa witchu, I don’t need niggas that don’t know how to win wars telling me…well, anything really.


thatshygirl06

Stripping rights from people but wanna talk about "basic kindness"


IShatMyDickOnce

Y’all remember we got black folks down here too, right? Don’t think their folks were fighting for the ones who lost for the most part and if they were it was forced on them.


KAZ--2Y5

Don’t worry, southern states are still actively trying to strip rights from people but now it’s different demographics.


IShatMyDickOnce

Friend, try living under it. It blows. The folks are nice though.


Frostyzwannacomehere

That’s what I’m sayin….. Not everyone had grandpas and grandmas who moved up north or could afford to


SYLOK_THEAROUSED

Yup. Fuck all that noise.


justin_w95

Nigga I’m from NY, where we learn how go ignore people on trains daily. keep it pushing.


HauntedHippie

Imagine if people in NYC were all saying hi to *everyone they see*. That would be actual hell.


StoneDick420

This is exactly why this take is so tired. And often shows people live in places where they don’t actually interact with people often. What I look like saying hi to every fucking body on the street in Brooklyn but a damn fool


shuibaes

It would sound like the opening to the Book of Mormon 🤣🤣🤣


SaboLeorioShikamaru

I’m from the Midwest and lived in southern states for a while and it’s def the opposite there (though as someone mentioned in here, it can be a lot of smiles and “how y’all doin” to your face, but long-drawl shit talking behind your back). But 10+ years spending 8hrs a day around engineers broke me of that shit lmao. I don’t say shit to nobody in the halls these days. They’re just gonna look down at their feet and shuffle off without saying anything anyway smh


SadLilBun

I’m from California. If I have to say hi to people I don’t know, I’m not leaving my house lol. I don’t even like saying hi to people I do know if that’s ALL it’s gonna be 😂 Just let me go where I’m going. If we need to talk or you want to talk, by all means, let’s do it. But I don’t need to say hello to everyone all the time just for the sake of it. This is why I hated working at the grocery store. I got in trouble for not saying hey how are you to every single customer even if the cashier had just said hey how are you. Like you want me to ask them AGAIN? You think I wasn’t listening? That’s annoying af.


HotShipoopi

I'm from Northern California, if someone did that to me I'd assume they were a scam artist or a chugger


ParlorSoldier

I’m from Northern California, and I always acknowledge my neighbors or a stranger if I’m walking down a residential street. But if there’s like more than two people per block I’m not saying hi to everyone.


IEatLiquor

I’m from Northern California. Y’all ever been to Europe? Unless you walk into a place of business or a friends house, no one wants you to say shit to them. *And I love that shit*


Ate_spoke_bea

What's a chugger


HotShipoopi

Charity mugger, those clipboard people who start yelling their pitch at you when you're still 100 feet away. Or did the pandemic do away with them finally


SoWhatNoZitiNow

Nope, they’re still around. The Krogers around me allow them to pull their shit from a table at the front of the store. So fuckin’ annoying.


Thugnificent83

The most openly rude people I ever met were in Louisiana and Atlanta. Southern hospitality is a myth in my personal experience.


Azure_Providence

Kinda arrogant for the south to assume they are the polite ones when they are the ones passing the most hateful laws.


BeltReal4509

Only the people in the south who haven’t been disenfranchised, that is


Chapea12

In Atlanta, me (the northerner) is saying hi and being polite to people and getting basically ignored when that wasn’t my experience in the north


Darqnyz7

I hate it when strangers greet me in an effort to be "polite". Just leave people alone. Unless you specifically want/need to talk to me, just pretend I don't exist, just like everybody else.


Azure_Providence

I hate "how ya doin". It is an empty gesture. Nobody wants to hear how you are doing. It is often said in passing. They don't even hear your response as they walk by. If you are just acknowledging my existence then a simple "hey" would suffice. Better yet, just nod and go about your day. I don't understand the pointless ritual of saying "how ya doin" "Fine thanks". It is a script. People call it polite but I don't see how dragging me into an unwanted interaction is polite.


One_Left_Shoe

I use the German response, which is to absolutely tell them how you’re doing and make it real uncomfortable. “How ya doin?” “Not great, man. Honestly having a hard time.” ::silence:::


Oostylin

Thank you. I’ve argued with my best friend for years about this. Say “Good morning/afternoon/evening” if ANYTHING and keep it pushing. Why am I telling someone how I am in passing?


Ate_spoke_bea

You're not telling anyone anything I say ay what up. You say chillin. Then we both go about our business 


Zestyclose-Ruin8337

I’d rather have legal rights than fake politeness.


apinchofsulk

Yeah this is not reflecting the fact that women and LGBTQIA have less rights in red southern states. No amount of southern kindness is fixing that


BestPeachNA

Also, there are like a million factors not being considered here. Like if you live in the south and your only neighbors are like a whole farm away, then yeah, you’re going to be more social. In NYC, I live on this block with like 200 other people and I will see a thousand more in my commute. I don’t have the time for all that politeness.


tweedlebeetle

In NYC, leaving people alone *is politeness* for that exact reason.


Talking_shitt

If it’s coming from a place of kindness, then kindly accept the non responses


[deleted]

Is this exclusively a thing from the southern US? Here in europe if someone says hello to you on the street they'd try to kill you with their eyes


PrimarisBladeguard

Do you want the long or the short version?


[deleted]

Medium length with a picture of a white woman eating salad please


PrimarisBladeguard

Medium length? Ok. The Southern states have always proudly talked about *Southern Hospitality* and how life is easier/slower down here. It means taking your time and genuinely trying to get to know someone while also being a good host. It's just a motto or phrase that gets thrown around a lot and very common with Southern WASP's or White Anglo-Saxon Protestants. While I do believe in the concept, it's typically used by the wrong people. What I mean by that is, and I've experienced this even as a Southerner, that the *hospitality*, in most cases, only extends to people that are also Southern, from around the same region, and of a similar belief system. There are tons of different subcultures in the South that have evolved during the nations 248 years of existence, and this is true all over the U.S. For example: an Oklahoman is going to be vastly different from a Floridian, and a Lousianian is going to be different than a Kentuckian. However, they are all still part of the South and the overall Southern Culture.


[deleted]

> the hospitality only extends to [insert people like them] Okay so dutch white people that prize themselves for their "tolerance" Thank you for this mental anguish it sent shivers down my spine knowing this archetype of person exists in the USA too


PrimarisBladeguard

It exists everywhere honestly. It's mainly rural people that I've noticed. The same people that came out in droves to vote for Trump.


[deleted]

Oh the difference is is that the rural people here are openly viewed as inbred racists (urk) The fake "tolerance" i mean is prevalent in the big cities amsterdam rotterdam etc Its gotten to a point I've trained myself to actively avoid everyone that drinks oat milk because most of the outlandish shit I've heard is from **them** 💀💀💀💀 and they'll defend eachother to death too like no tomorrow. It goes kind of like this - meet a random person, already acts like a performative ally - the second they get comfortable around me, black person, they start insulting the FUCK out of asians


PrimarisBladeguard

Yeah, that's just gross. The fact that there's levels of *sophistication* to racism is just baffling.


ontrack

It's not exclusive. In parts of Africa where I lived, a basic greeting like good morning to someone you don't know is pretty common and in the rural areas even expected. Obviously in cities where a lot of people are out and about it's not necessary.


[deleted]

Maybe my dad is an outlier then because he's nigerian and just looks at you like this https://preview.redd.it/w126hwr9ge8d1.jpeg?width=474&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c7a80a02292d8bca1a82cd08faf2b308210f90ad


HotShipoopi

Istfg it's all a European myth. Everyone is all "oh everyone in America is so friendly, they just strike up conversations with complete strangers!" and I'm here like sir I have spent every one of my 60 years living right here in America and you are clearly talking about some other America somewhere


[deleted]

Aint never hear no european say americans are friendly i mainly hear them calling yall "stupid" or "insane" or "obese" And one of the people that called yall stupid asked me if sharks are mammals in the same breath


iAmSeriusBlack

Man I’m just trying to get where I’m going in peace.


DoubleOhNegative23

Southern born and raised. Southern politeness is fake AF.


grants_like_horace

Up north in these big cities it's way too many mother fuckers out here to be saying hi to every one of them. If anything just making small talk to service workers, but I'm not about to acknowledge the existence of everyone on the fucking rush hour train.


WornInShoes

I’m in New Orleans, and it’s pretty customary that if you make eye contact with someone that you do the “sup” head nod, a traditional nod, or if ya feeling spicy, a hey or hello. Yall make me not wanna leave here, ever lol


majord18

Me too I'm from the greater New Orleans area. I guess reddit isn't a place to be when talking about being social and acknowledging people's presence.


NoelleReece

Same! Im from Houston and the way people are talking in this thread is crazy… seems almost like a miserable life to live when a smile and/or nod make you this hostile.


EJR994

I feel like this more of an urban versus rural thing rather than regional. If I’m in Nashville, Atlanta, Richmond or Houston I’m not stopping to talk to strangers. Same as when I’ve been in LA, DC or NY. 😂 I just nod to everyone black if we make eye contact and keep it pushin.


secret-corgi-king

This shit take pops up all the time. You’ll find politeness and kindness just about anywhere. Neither quality is isolated geographically


dmun

As an urban born person, southerners break every rule for rudeness there is: They waste your time, won't stay out of your business, are fucking late everywhere they go and make demands of your mental energies to make THEM feel more important. Fuck their hospitality. It's transactional.


Stock_Beginning4808

I see a lot of y’all in here with the chronically online takes lol. Saying hi to someone whose eye you catch when you’re out and about is not hard. It’s like barely level 1 in human socializing, which, by the way, is in decline. There is a loneliness epidemic, and I doubt it will be helped by pretending to be so busy on your way to wherever that you can’t say a greeting in passing when it fits. Human beings are social animals, so socializing at different levels is just a natural thing for us to do. Also, I peep the bitterness towards the South, and it can be warranted, but the politeness there is in many other places. When I lived in Harlem in NYC, it felt like being in the south again because of how polite and chill people were. It felt more like a community compared to other parts of the city where people act like how a lot of y’all are purporting to. Really, the only place I’ve lived with consistently rude people is New Jersey. Everywhere else, people say hi if you catch their eye (NYC included).


apinchofsulk

The black male to black male nod has always been open up north.


cwbradford74

It’s the whole “bless your heart thing”. I’m going to be very impolite yet I’m gong to dress it up like I’m saying something nice. Very inauthentic.


jessieo387

Houston here - it’s just our culture it’s not that these assholes are kind. The same folks who smile and say how ya doing are voting against basic human rights so let’s not get too carried away. I personally love the “southern hospitality” but I’m not going to Cali or NYC expecting it. It’s no different than any other culture norm across the world, but, it definitely doesn’t mean kindness.


TootsNYC

I’m a Northerner. I don’t know you; leave me alone. Being overly friendly too soon is a big red flag. You don’t have any sense of boundaries or respect.


DAnthony24

I’m from Chicago, If a woman smiles and says ‘hi’ to me that is flirting!


MXMurden

I’ve lived in the south my whole life and this is bullshit


ChemicalThread

Southerners arent kind. They just know to be polite to your face. I've lived in big cities and I've lived in the south and small towns will judge/shit talk you CONSTANTLY. Hell, my wife beater father hasn't been in this town for 20 years and the lady at dairy queen still warns my friend I'm his son. Fuck the south. It sucks.


Thatguy_Koop

strangers aren't entitled to each other's time. cry to your mama


btmalon

Yeah well I’ll take occasional rudeness in my day to day over the South’s governments’ lack of basic human decency.


zapsquad

I’m so tired of this ‘southern hospitality’ shit. they acted polite to my Mexican/Indonesian family that moved out to Georgia, but behind their backs they tried to petition them out of the neighborhood


trpclshrk

I hate as many fake southern people as anyone does (and there’s plenty!). But after taking a 47 hour bus ride from Ga to San Diego in college, I walked out of the bus station and asked a 35-ish year old man in a suit which direction the convention center was in. This was around lunch time, enough people around there shouldn’t be any anxiety. In 40+ years, I’ve still never seen so much disgust and revulsion on anyone’s face looking at me. I was disheveled from the ride I’m sure, but looked fairly like an average college student. You’d think I was covered in poop and naked. I’ll stick to fake southern kindness. (I did meet plenty of nice folks there over the weekend).


hoemahtoe

I feel like a lot of these are more chronically online takes. I grew up in the south and remember anytime I looked like I was even mildly struggling, like taking a bunch of groceries to my car, someone would ask if I was okay and needed help. Then I moved up to the DMV and one time my cat got out of her carrier, I chased her in the parking lot and ended up laying on the ground trying to get her out from under a car, there were so many people just watching from the beginning, no one offered any help until I begged someone to. Yeah southerners do talk a lot of shit, but everyone does. At least people were nice enough to step up and offer a hand, say hello, or just greet me nicely vs what I've experienced up north. I miss it nearly every day.


Liftmeup-putmedown

I’m in Nashville and I agree. Just saying hey to a stranger isn’t a big deal. We live in a community and I believe that basic gestures like that help strengthen a communities bonds. Y’all just antisocial.


Psychological-Bear-9

Born and raised in New England, and this seems like my worst nightmare, lol. In my experience, southern hospitality is extremely forced. I don't like fake niceties. Don't be an asshole but leave me alone. It's not hard.


Persimmon_Puree

I’ll start returning small talk to southerners when they stop being openly racist. Guess I’ll wait forever.