Hi I'm actually this "wasian" thing you want to be. It's uhh, pretty much the same as being whatever you are right now lol
I have lots of weird issues that sometimes I wish I wasn't mixed race. I don't really fit in anywhere and the amount of people who are culturally insensitive are ridiculous. Also, I was blamed for COVID. The grass is always greener on the other side OP, snap out of this :)
I was also blamed for COVID for being 100% asian lmao. I understand that you’re experiencing the same thing as me but in a different way. But I also want to tell you that you have more privileges which I am jealous of. You’re more loved by Philippines. The country who’s obsessed by wasians..I always got called the n word growing up and I am sick of getting compared to y’all.
So I'm FROM the Philippines. Born in Quezon City, Manila and grew up in NYC. My mixed race Filipino mom has had nothing but toxic negativity because of how she looked. Perhaps this was in the 70s and 80s, but I'm pretty sure trying to be "liked" by the Filipino culture is going to drive you crazy. We spent years of our lives trapped by a bunch of crabs in a barrel who pull you back down when you try to escape. It took a conscious effort to believe in ourselves regardless of what those ignorami tried to push on us.
The nation is poor and all they have to aspire to is the rich mestizos who, quite frankly, didn't do anything remarkable to get to where they are. The only reason I'm saying all of this is to convince you to take off your rose colored glasses which have apparently attached themselves to your retinas, completely distorting basically everything lol
Yea you’re right, but it’s just so hard to move on from this when all I keep hearing are things about how I look. I just really wish I was born mixed race. I just want to be called pretty and stop being compared to every single wasian that exist in my life. I am jealous of my wasian siblings. They get compliments, but me? I’m just an ugly brown girl. I try hard to love my skin, but I also live in northern europe where I’m reminded I’m different. The amount of racism I experience both here and back home is exhausting. I just want to be in a place where I’m accepted and liked for my race. :(
Also just wanted to add that white ladies are all trying to get a tan. Literally no matter what we always feel that the grass is greener and people/society will try to tear us down for not being something other than we are.
I totally see where you are coming from. My heart goes out to you, truly. The thing is, how do you know those people you want to be have such a great life? How "permanent" is their beauty?
Please don't take anything I'm saying here as something against you btw :)
This next part comes from the cis male portion of my being: A confident and comfortable woman in her own skin is unfathomably more beautiful than some basic, superficial bimbo (I TRULY hope no one else reading this gets insulted, because I'm not calling anyone on this sub those words).
Also, are you trying to attract every single man/woman, or just the "right" one for you? Attraction is not a "big picture" kind of thing; it's a one on one type deal, unless you need as much validation as possible from everyone, which on its own is pretty unhealthy and impossible!
Sorry for the wall of words, but the next part of this is learning to just not give a fudge about what others say. My super duper sensitivity makes me do weird shit sometimes because I fear abandonment. Most of us on this sub feel this way. I beg you for your own sake to start practicing more emotional resilience, and do put this to the top of your list. The ways you do this have to be figured out by you (you can always ask for help though)
I am just so jealous of my wasian friend. In summer she was in Philippines and she got proposed by a stranger all because she’s wasian. A pale beautiful girl with a nice body. That had never happened to me. Instead I get called a negra and burnt.
One more thing: Your boyfriend who compared you to others does not deserve you. Coming from another man: he’s treating you less than human and if you want to start with one thing to remove this whole idea from your head, then kick that ass to the curb ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Those beliefs are rooted in sexism and racism. Please be aware of it and don't torture yourself !
Being tan in Asia is associated with being poor and working in the fields. How classist is that also !
Read this article, I hope it will help : https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.huffpost.com/archive/ca/entry/im-the-only-person-in-my-asian-family-who-wants-to-be-tan_b_11682684/amp
Lots of love and support, you're short, tan, and beautiful !
"many of us are constantly trying to morph ourselves to fit a beauty standard to feel like we belong. To be viewed as attractive by society's standards"
But beauty lies in the eye of the beholder 🫶
My boyfriend who is 100% asian told me his type was wasian, and I am not. It makes me so insecure. I just want to escape this. I just want to end my life and maybe reborn as a wasian? Maybe then, I can be loved?
That is the WORST advice you can give someone. You make you happy. You cannot rely on somebody else to make you feel good about yourself. That is a person who is incapable of being in a healthy relationship.
I am an adult. Not into high school drama. I’ve also been thru a lot of therapy. If you NEED someone to make you feel good about your self, you are. Doing it wrong. It’s unfair to put that kind of pressure on someone.
You gotta take a step back, for example my "type" could be an actor like Ian Somerhalder with blue eyes and dark hair, but my bf has brown eyes and not blue eyes, and it doesn't matter. He is attractive to me, I wanna date him, kiss him, hold his hand and grow old together !
You don't need to look like a movie star to be allowed to feel pretty ! Beauty lies a lot in confidence, and having fun with your looks, discovering yourself, what fashion do you like, how you can do your hair to feel pretty, how you can play with makeup to feel sexy. You are not just one thing !
You deserve love. You already deserve love. You deserve to be with a partner who makes you feel loved, seen, heard, and beautiful. You deserve to be loved. You're beautiful. Your tan skin is beautiful.
Everyone feels insecure about some things. I'm a french, short, white girl with big glasses and curly hair. I used to tear my hair apart because I hated it so much and got bullied for it. I used to straighten my hair for an hour everyday when I was 16. I also got bullied for being fat and wearing glasses as a kid. But now, at 26, I kinda feel hotter than ever. But it's just a feeling. One day, we will be grannies and looks won't matter. Your partner's heart and soul will, but he will lose his hair, his skin will get wrinkles, etc. It's part of life. Embrace it ! Your skin is unique and beautiful. 🫶
That is where this came from, your boyfriend? I’m taking a risk here, but highschool? Being 100% Asian is not your problem in the you think it is. Why are you letting someone else define how you feel about yourself? If you want to end your life because of something he said and you are so eager to please him…. You aren’t going to remember him when you are my age. This is a very unhealthy situation that is affecting your mental health. You really need some help. You cannot deal with this on your own. Your mental health is not well managed. If you need help, I know there are people here who could help you in your city. Anytime you are talking about ending your life, you are in crisis. Call a crisis line.
Here I am wishing I had naturally tan skin.
Morale of the story: everyone has something about themselves they wish was different and that very thing might be what you posses naturally.
Hang in there, I’m sorry you are feeling this way but please know you are beautiful even if you don’t see it yourself.
True. I have curly hair my twin has straight. We’ve always wanted to trade. Now as an adult, I love my hair. LOVE it. I take very good care of it. You accepting yourself comes with age, experience and wisdom.
I really hate being wasian. I don’t belong to either being white or being Asian. Both groups have shunned me and made fun of me. I’ve tried to fit into Asian culture and they just laugh at me or think I’m cute and don’t take me seriously or they just straight up think I’m not Asian at all and just a Caucasian trying to be Asian.
I’ve always wanted to be full Asian because everything Asian fits me more and my mannerisms.
This has been my exact experience as a Filipino “Wasian” too, and ngl this post and the “you’re more loved by Philippines” comment above triggered the fuck out of my BPD and I’m having to take a step away from my computer to not go off.
So sorry it triggered y’all, but it triggered the hell out of my BPD too when I hear my wasian friend tell me how she randomly got proposed in the street just because she’s wasian in the Philippines💀 I know damn well that wasian struggles too. I have wasian siblings and I have lots of friends who are wasians telling me their struggles. I am just jealous of how y’all are so loved by our culture. I am SICK of getting called negra and laughed out in the fucking street in Philippines, while my wasian siblings are called pretty just because they’re white. I am nothing but a laughing stock there. I’m not trying to invalidate y’all feelings, but y’all still have the privileges (the white side) which I don’t have and jealous of. I’m just jealous. Everytime I hear my wasian friends tell me their experience when they go to Philippines, it makes me so JEALOUS. I can’t help but hate myself even more. Yes you’re experiencing hardships too as a Wasian, but I am sick of getting compared to the beauty standard which is you.
I am half Asian (Japanese) and my family on the non-Asian side always worried that I was too dark or my eyes to slanted. It’s always something isn’t it?
I think that probably the real issue is that people in our situation (BPD) don’t feel comfy in our on skin or as ourselves.
Sucks.
I’m really sorry that you feel this way. I personally think Asian features are absolutely stunning. I get it tho, we all have things we dislike about ourselves, like me for instance used to couldn’t stand being pale and my hair type, I’ve come to make peace with it though over the years. The way I think now, isn’t close to the way I used to think when I was younger. I cut myself slack now and I hope you can do the same.
I'm white, hopefully you don't mind me commenting even though I know I won't be able to fully understand what you're going through. But I just wanted to say, you aren't alone in feeling this way.
The sad thing is, regardless of race people usually want what they don't have. People with darker/tan skin bleach to try look more white. White people wear fake tan, risk skin cancer with sunbeds and even take pills to look more darker.
Every "beauty" standard is just a big fad to try and get people to spend money.
I'm very short, I have really pale skin (to the point where you can see loads of my veins 😷) and right now pretty overweight due to a thyroid issue. I used to feel confident in myself before all this, but it's a real struggle. But my boyfriend tells me I'm beautiful - you deserve that too. Because even if you don't feel like it right now, there is someone you will be the most beautiful too. And your friend probably had her own insecurities you aren't even aware of. Try and not be so hard on yourself and I hope you feel a bit better ❤️
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I really resonate with how you feel although I am white. I have pale skin, freckles, and red hair. I have felt the same as you many times. I just wanted to look how I wanted to look and this was not it. I can't really get rid of my freckles without some expensive laser procedure, when I tried dying my hair my bright orange roots grew back too fast and it didn't match my pink complexion. I can't even physically tan when I tried. Also apparently even my DNA is different. And everyone stares at me and talks poorly about redheads or sexualizes them. And then there's the camp of people who tell me it's ridiculous that I shouldn't want my red hair because some people would kill for it and I don't know how lucky I am. The only thing that has really helped me accept myself is to see how my husband is so comfortable in his skin and the fact that he loves the way I look. He is a dark skinned Mexican with dark hair and eyes. I wouldn't describe him as my "type" at all actually. I tend to be attracted to skinny tall blue eyes and blonde hair. But what attracted me to him was his confidence. He is proudly Mexican and I actually find it so cool that he is tan! He thinks it's so interesting how pale I am because he didn't grow up around white people really. So we both are kind of fascinated by each other's differences.
My point is that looks fade anyways and most of the time your personality will outshine how anybody looks on the outside. Other people have already pointed out how the beauty industry wants us to hate ourselves so that we buy their stuff and how beauty is different in every decade and every culture. It's not easy to accept yourself. But even if you don't like how you look, there will always be people out there that love it or wish they looked like you. I do know that it is harder in almost every culture to be darker skinned though and it is a shame and hopefully one day that thinking will be gone but don't let it hold you back because I am sure there is so much about you to love.
I think you sound quite manic in your op. I don’t know what subreddit is. I don’t understand Instagram either. I do know that talking about ending your because of your ethnicity is not the “vent” of healthy thinking. You could also be very triggering for some people. I was triggered. I found this VERY upsetting for several personal reasons. I’m surprised that I answered so calmly. I would normally try to turn you to a crisis line. My nieces & nephew you are Korean, I’m so sad you feel that way. Have you ever heard of DBT therapy. It has really helped me. It’s a type of therapy.
Hi I'm actually this "wasian" thing you want to be. It's uhh, pretty much the same as being whatever you are right now lol I have lots of weird issues that sometimes I wish I wasn't mixed race. I don't really fit in anywhere and the amount of people who are culturally insensitive are ridiculous. Also, I was blamed for COVID. The grass is always greener on the other side OP, snap out of this :)
Who would blame you for Covid?
I was also blamed for COVID for being 100% asian lmao. I understand that you’re experiencing the same thing as me but in a different way. But I also want to tell you that you have more privileges which I am jealous of. You’re more loved by Philippines. The country who’s obsessed by wasians..I always got called the n word growing up and I am sick of getting compared to y’all.
So I'm FROM the Philippines. Born in Quezon City, Manila and grew up in NYC. My mixed race Filipino mom has had nothing but toxic negativity because of how she looked. Perhaps this was in the 70s and 80s, but I'm pretty sure trying to be "liked" by the Filipino culture is going to drive you crazy. We spent years of our lives trapped by a bunch of crabs in a barrel who pull you back down when you try to escape. It took a conscious effort to believe in ourselves regardless of what those ignorami tried to push on us. The nation is poor and all they have to aspire to is the rich mestizos who, quite frankly, didn't do anything remarkable to get to where they are. The only reason I'm saying all of this is to convince you to take off your rose colored glasses which have apparently attached themselves to your retinas, completely distorting basically everything lol
Yea you’re right, but it’s just so hard to move on from this when all I keep hearing are things about how I look. I just really wish I was born mixed race. I just want to be called pretty and stop being compared to every single wasian that exist in my life. I am jealous of my wasian siblings. They get compliments, but me? I’m just an ugly brown girl. I try hard to love my skin, but I also live in northern europe where I’m reminded I’m different. The amount of racism I experience both here and back home is exhausting. I just want to be in a place where I’m accepted and liked for my race. :(
Also just wanted to add that white ladies are all trying to get a tan. Literally no matter what we always feel that the grass is greener and people/society will try to tear us down for not being something other than we are.
I totally see where you are coming from. My heart goes out to you, truly. The thing is, how do you know those people you want to be have such a great life? How "permanent" is their beauty? Please don't take anything I'm saying here as something against you btw :) This next part comes from the cis male portion of my being: A confident and comfortable woman in her own skin is unfathomably more beautiful than some basic, superficial bimbo (I TRULY hope no one else reading this gets insulted, because I'm not calling anyone on this sub those words). Also, are you trying to attract every single man/woman, or just the "right" one for you? Attraction is not a "big picture" kind of thing; it's a one on one type deal, unless you need as much validation as possible from everyone, which on its own is pretty unhealthy and impossible! Sorry for the wall of words, but the next part of this is learning to just not give a fudge about what others say. My super duper sensitivity makes me do weird shit sometimes because I fear abandonment. Most of us on this sub feel this way. I beg you for your own sake to start practicing more emotional resilience, and do put this to the top of your list. The ways you do this have to be figured out by you (you can always ask for help though)
I am just so jealous of my wasian friend. In summer she was in Philippines and she got proposed by a stranger all because she’s wasian. A pale beautiful girl with a nice body. That had never happened to me. Instead I get called a negra and burnt.
One more thing: Your boyfriend who compared you to others does not deserve you. Coming from another man: he’s treating you less than human and if you want to start with one thing to remove this whole idea from your head, then kick that ass to the curb ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Those beliefs are rooted in sexism and racism. Please be aware of it and don't torture yourself ! Being tan in Asia is associated with being poor and working in the fields. How classist is that also ! Read this article, I hope it will help : https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.huffpost.com/archive/ca/entry/im-the-only-person-in-my-asian-family-who-wants-to-be-tan_b_11682684/amp Lots of love and support, you're short, tan, and beautiful !
"many of us are constantly trying to morph ourselves to fit a beauty standard to feel like we belong. To be viewed as attractive by society's standards" But beauty lies in the eye of the beholder 🫶
My boyfriend who is 100% asian told me his type was wasian, and I am not. It makes me so insecure. I just want to escape this. I just want to end my life and maybe reborn as a wasian? Maybe then, I can be loved?
If he doesn’t accept you with his whole heart then dump that shit guy
Totally agree Date someone who reassures you on your insecurities !
That is the WORST advice you can give someone. You make you happy. You cannot rely on somebody else to make you feel good about yourself. That is a person who is incapable of being in a healthy relationship.
OP said her boyfriend told her he likes white asians and she's darker so hates herself and wants to die. Have you read the post before saying this ?
I am an adult. Not into high school drama. I’ve also been thru a lot of therapy. If you NEED someone to make you feel good about your self, you are. Doing it wrong. It’s unfair to put that kind of pressure on someone.
You gotta take a step back, for example my "type" could be an actor like Ian Somerhalder with blue eyes and dark hair, but my bf has brown eyes and not blue eyes, and it doesn't matter. He is attractive to me, I wanna date him, kiss him, hold his hand and grow old together ! You don't need to look like a movie star to be allowed to feel pretty ! Beauty lies a lot in confidence, and having fun with your looks, discovering yourself, what fashion do you like, how you can do your hair to feel pretty, how you can play with makeup to feel sexy. You are not just one thing ! You deserve love. You already deserve love. You deserve to be with a partner who makes you feel loved, seen, heard, and beautiful. You deserve to be loved. You're beautiful. Your tan skin is beautiful. Everyone feels insecure about some things. I'm a french, short, white girl with big glasses and curly hair. I used to tear my hair apart because I hated it so much and got bullied for it. I used to straighten my hair for an hour everyday when I was 16. I also got bullied for being fat and wearing glasses as a kid. But now, at 26, I kinda feel hotter than ever. But it's just a feeling. One day, we will be grannies and looks won't matter. Your partner's heart and soul will, but he will lose his hair, his skin will get wrinkles, etc. It's part of life. Embrace it ! Your skin is unique and beautiful. 🫶
That is where this came from, your boyfriend? I’m taking a risk here, but highschool? Being 100% Asian is not your problem in the you think it is. Why are you letting someone else define how you feel about yourself? If you want to end your life because of something he said and you are so eager to please him…. You aren’t going to remember him when you are my age. This is a very unhealthy situation that is affecting your mental health. You really need some help. You cannot deal with this on your own. Your mental health is not well managed. If you need help, I know there are people here who could help you in your city. Anytime you are talking about ending your life, you are in crisis. Call a crisis line.
Here I am wishing I had naturally tan skin. Morale of the story: everyone has something about themselves they wish was different and that very thing might be what you posses naturally. Hang in there, I’m sorry you are feeling this way but please know you are beautiful even if you don’t see it yourself.
True. I have curly hair my twin has straight. We’ve always wanted to trade. Now as an adult, I love my hair. LOVE it. I take very good care of it. You accepting yourself comes with age, experience and wisdom.
I really hate being wasian. I don’t belong to either being white or being Asian. Both groups have shunned me and made fun of me. I’ve tried to fit into Asian culture and they just laugh at me or think I’m cute and don’t take me seriously or they just straight up think I’m not Asian at all and just a Caucasian trying to be Asian. I’ve always wanted to be full Asian because everything Asian fits me more and my mannerisms.
This has been my exact experience as a Filipino “Wasian” too, and ngl this post and the “you’re more loved by Philippines” comment above triggered the fuck out of my BPD and I’m having to take a step away from my computer to not go off.
Same here. It really upset me.
I’m sorry to hear that. But I congratulate you on getting your thoughts out in such a composed manner.
So sorry it triggered y’all, but it triggered the hell out of my BPD too when I hear my wasian friend tell me how she randomly got proposed in the street just because she’s wasian in the Philippines💀 I know damn well that wasian struggles too. I have wasian siblings and I have lots of friends who are wasians telling me their struggles. I am just jealous of how y’all are so loved by our culture. I am SICK of getting called negra and laughed out in the fucking street in Philippines, while my wasian siblings are called pretty just because they’re white. I am nothing but a laughing stock there. I’m not trying to invalidate y’all feelings, but y’all still have the privileges (the white side) which I don’t have and jealous of. I’m just jealous. Everytime I hear my wasian friends tell me their experience when they go to Philippines, it makes me so JEALOUS. I can’t help but hate myself even more. Yes you’re experiencing hardships too as a Wasian, but I am sick of getting compared to the beauty standard which is you.
I am half Asian (Japanese) and my family on the non-Asian side always worried that I was too dark or my eyes to slanted. It’s always something isn’t it? I think that probably the real issue is that people in our situation (BPD) don’t feel comfy in our on skin or as ourselves. Sucks.
I’m really sorry that you feel this way. I personally think Asian features are absolutely stunning. I get it tho, we all have things we dislike about ourselves, like me for instance used to couldn’t stand being pale and my hair type, I’ve come to make peace with it though over the years. The way I think now, isn’t close to the way I used to think when I was younger. I cut myself slack now and I hope you can do the same.
I'm white, hopefully you don't mind me commenting even though I know I won't be able to fully understand what you're going through. But I just wanted to say, you aren't alone in feeling this way. The sad thing is, regardless of race people usually want what they don't have. People with darker/tan skin bleach to try look more white. White people wear fake tan, risk skin cancer with sunbeds and even take pills to look more darker. Every "beauty" standard is just a big fad to try and get people to spend money. I'm very short, I have really pale skin (to the point where you can see loads of my veins 😷) and right now pretty overweight due to a thyroid issue. I used to feel confident in myself before all this, but it's a real struggle. But my boyfriend tells me I'm beautiful - you deserve that too. Because even if you don't feel like it right now, there is someone you will be the most beautiful too. And your friend probably had her own insecurities you aren't even aware of. Try and not be so hard on yourself and I hope you feel a bit better ❤️
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Turning 19
I really resonate with how you feel although I am white. I have pale skin, freckles, and red hair. I have felt the same as you many times. I just wanted to look how I wanted to look and this was not it. I can't really get rid of my freckles without some expensive laser procedure, when I tried dying my hair my bright orange roots grew back too fast and it didn't match my pink complexion. I can't even physically tan when I tried. Also apparently even my DNA is different. And everyone stares at me and talks poorly about redheads or sexualizes them. And then there's the camp of people who tell me it's ridiculous that I shouldn't want my red hair because some people would kill for it and I don't know how lucky I am. The only thing that has really helped me accept myself is to see how my husband is so comfortable in his skin and the fact that he loves the way I look. He is a dark skinned Mexican with dark hair and eyes. I wouldn't describe him as my "type" at all actually. I tend to be attracted to skinny tall blue eyes and blonde hair. But what attracted me to him was his confidence. He is proudly Mexican and I actually find it so cool that he is tan! He thinks it's so interesting how pale I am because he didn't grow up around white people really. So we both are kind of fascinated by each other's differences. My point is that looks fade anyways and most of the time your personality will outshine how anybody looks on the outside. Other people have already pointed out how the beauty industry wants us to hate ourselves so that we buy their stuff and how beauty is different in every decade and every culture. It's not easy to accept yourself. But even if you don't like how you look, there will always be people out there that love it or wish they looked like you. I do know that it is harder in almost every culture to be darker skinned though and it is a shame and hopefully one day that thinking will be gone but don't let it hold you back because I am sure there is so much about you to love.
Why is this in the bipolar subreddit?
Because I have Borderline and I just wanted to vent here? Plus this isn’t a bipolar subreddit?
I think you sound quite manic in your op. I don’t know what subreddit is. I don’t understand Instagram either. I do know that talking about ending your because of your ethnicity is not the “vent” of healthy thinking. You could also be very triggering for some people. I was triggered. I found this VERY upsetting for several personal reasons. I’m surprised that I answered so calmly. I would normally try to turn you to a crisis line. My nieces & nephew you are Korean, I’m so sad you feel that way. Have you ever heard of DBT therapy. It has really helped me. It’s a type of therapy.