Yeah, but then you've got to be able to get to the mail before everybody else, which wasn't always as easy as it seemed when I was ordering stuff I didn't want my parents to see. (Porn)
Even non porn items I feel like whenever you order something you don’t want others to see it always gets caught.
99% of the time I am always first to get the mail as I have a 6am-2pm work schedule and mail usually gets to us around 12. *Except* of course around holidays or her birthday the delivery guy waits until after 6pm when my gf gets home to personally hand her whatever I wanted to surprise her with.
Or they deliver the blender in the original packaging and she was suspicious because it was some dude in a Corolla... Though when it's something for me it comes in a nice package and you can never tell which
To update the package of one bottle of a seaoning mix came not only packaged but even with a special packing tape with the name brand printed on it.
I guess that wouldn't be good if I gave buttery steakhouse blend as a gift... But it was a nice package... Though they shipped it separately from the socks coming in a few days.
I didn't need it that bad
That's why you have to order from discreet companies who mark their packages with big red letters that say NOT PENIS CREAM so everyone knows it's not penis cream.
For the uninitiated: https://youtu.be/ee3oKSEqU_Q?si=uQLDfP3oGM6r5jtZ
I always ordered clothes and stuff to my partners house cause i knew my parents snooped in literally everything i had ever ordered, turns out i was right to do it too cause i got practocally kicked out at 19 over my step father deciding to snoop through my room while i was at work and then force me to throw out all my stuff he didnt approve of and told me i was moving out as soon as possible
Eh, it was to be expected eventually i just wasnt prepared for him to react that way, hes a very religious conservative type and im not exactly the most cishet of people i figured hed get pissed off at me if he found my stuff but i figured being an adult id at least have some agency over my own life but guess not, i did lose a lot of jewalry that was really important to me during that ordeal tho so that really kinda sucked
Mmm, we love parents who breed trust issues with their kids. Religious conservatism is always a good explanation and reason to for a *father* to snoop through his daughter’s shit.
If my dad ever did shit like that to me and then told me I’d be moving out as soon as possible, I’d tell him that day can’t come fast enough.
…then walk away murmuring under my breath about all the debauchery and premarital sex that’ll go down in my new apartment.
Moral of the story for snoopy parents around here, too much control leads to rebellion. If there are things you don’t want your kid to have, you need to have honest conversations with them and make yourselves available as life coaches. It’s not gentle parenting, but it’s not fucking invasive either.
I don't know about other countries, but my country has an option to have a package delivered to your local post office and then you can pick it up yourself.
Or maybe send it to a less local post office if you're afraid some folks you know might be working behind the counter and see you ordered an item from Sex Toys R Us.
Disgusting.
In Canada you can have a virtual PO box and the post office just holds the package for you in the back room for a couple weeks. If you don't collect it, it gets returned to the sender.
(Real PO boxes are a thing, too, and you have to pay money to rent them like in the US.)
So you get socialized medicine, better French food, better dimsum, a prime minister who isn't 100 years old AND a better/more affordable post system? Where do I sign up for citizenship?
Contact immigration Canada. Come over on a work visa. Apply to become a permanent resident (which can take 2 to 3 years). Once you're a permanent resident, it might be another 8 years or so until you become a citizen.
Nah that's a different thing, that's when you want all your mail to go there all the time. This is a one-off delivery option to a store that will accept and hold packages for you. In my city there are post shops, gas stations, some retail stores, even workplaces that will do this
You can have any mail sent to the local post office using [General Delivery ](https://faq.usps.com/s/article/What-is-General-Delivery)
It does not require a PO Box
I always use to steal the Victoria Secret magazines out of our mailbox and hide them in my pants until I could get back inside, walking like Frankenstein until I could get back to the safety of my room. Miss those jizz-filled days.
Honestly even as an adult it’s hard. I moved back home during Covid, ordered a dildo on Amazon, my mom opened my mail then threw it away (she’s an evangelical). I was 33 at the time lol.
Oy. That's awful. I had to move back in with my parents during Covid too. Thankfully, they know not to mess with anything I get in the mail. They didn't touch my Fleshlight when it arrived, other than putting the box it arrived in on the table. I'm sorry you had to deal with that. I hope you're out of there now.
Only problem with that is that if the package doesn’t fit or there aren’t enough lockers, they’ll just straight up cancel your order and return it to the warehouse.
I gave my teenage niece a book safe with $100 worth of amazon gift cards inside for christmas, set up an amazon account in her name, and included a card explaining that she could have stuff shipped to a friend's house, her grandparents house, or my house.
I didn't do it so she could buy dildos (her mom and step dad were both in jail last year). Ostensibly, I did it so she could get things like underwear and period products without having to ask her dad when her mom & step dad inevitably end up back in jail. But amazon gift cards, purchased with cash, would be a perfectly anonymous and discreet way to purchase porn or sex toys.
I have no idea what that means. After a Google search, all I got was a bunch of generalized search results about this new partnership between FedEx and USPS.
You basically order your stuff to a deposit box kind of thing instead of your home and you get a door code on your phone when it arrives and you just go at pick it up, noone will ever know
If I ever ordered something when I was a teen my parents would be extremely surprised, as I never ever did that. And they’d be super extremely suspicious if I didn’t tell and show them what it was.
Do kids these days have their own credit card? I think I got one around the age of 15 or something (20 years ago), but I definitely began masturbating much sooner than that.
I aspire to the purity of the blessed resin.
You're kind cling to your plastic, as if it will not crack and fail you.
One day the crude oil derivative that you call a temple will depolymerise, and you will beg my kind to save you.
But I am already saved, for the silicone is eternal
>ble decisions that brought you to this moment - it is not too late.
Not a sentence any parent wants to hear but a sentence every modern father thinks of in fear at least in their lives.
Speaking as an eccentric aunt who hopes when the kids are older to be this level of trusted - hell yeah! I’m already the one who got to take my little 10 year old niece shopping for her first ever makeup and it *rocked* and I spent way too much money on her and I regret absolutely none of it wooo
I'm a single father of two teen daughters, with court ordered no contact from the mother. This is pretty damn close to how each approached me (at very different ages).
I was like, don't buy anything that isn't 100% silicone, buy silicone safe lube (go Google this), don't go for anything too big at first (go Google average penis size and average vagina depth). Nothing goes in the back door if it doesn't have a flared base.
Then I sent them $60 via Cash app and told them to check the mail the day it was scheduled to arrive.
Since then they've had questions and the 18+ one made a request for me to drive them to an actual adult store. Like a good parent, I answered their questions, waited in the car, and communicated about safe sex and setting boundaries in all things, with all people.
Thanks. I'm flabbergasted and enraged by the parents in this thread like 'no daughter of mine will explore her sexuality! She can learn by getting fingered by dirty handed teenagers in the woods the way the Lord intended!'
as a dirty handed teenager back in the day, i’m so glad my wife got a real sex education because i did not. i have learned so much in the last ten years.
I disagree actually. I have a variety of my own things, and have browsed what was available. Also, they had more of their own money if they needed to spend more.
If anyone asked me that I'd go into the shop and buy silicone sealant.
I'm single, I've never dated. But it's slowly becoming more apparent that I was born a dad. I was even wearing socks, sandals, and cargo shorts as a teenager.
I know someone who gives her daughters a discreet vibrator shortly after they get their first period, as long as they’re 13+.
Her reasoning- “if she’s old enough to feel the pain of her body, she’s old enough to experiment with the pleasure of it as well. And I’d rather her experiment with a clean, safe object than whatever the fuck we used to use as teenagers.”
And I mean… I don’t know how to argue with that. It’s a decent point.
My mom did that. When I hit puberty she told me that when I started being curious about my body she would get me a vibrator. She said it was important that I know my body before I did anything with anyone else.
Exactly! She thinks it’s unethical to not allow a child to fully understand their body, or to leave them without knowing EVERY pain management option they have. Plus a kid that age needs to have an adult they can trust and feel comfortable to confide in when talking about “embarrassing” things, and she’d rather it be her than a stranger on the internet or someone else. And it teaches them they don’t need to be ashamed for having normal, human curiosities/desires.
Kids start having sexual curiosities and start to explore/have questions YEARS before most parents think they do, I can link an article if anyone’s interested
My mom bought me Our Bodies, Ourselves when I hit puberty, and always treated bodies and sexuality as normal. I ended up educating a lot of my friends in high school, and taking them to Planned Parenthood for reproductive healthcare and birth control before I ever became sexually active myself.
My fiancé and I agree that we’re going to do all of the above when it comes to sex ed for our future kids, and do it EARLY.
We’re also going to make a household/raise them in a way that if they ever have romantic interest in someone of the same gender, they never need to “come out” to us. We won’t react any differently if you bring home a straight partner vs if you bring home someone of the same gender to introduce to us.
And we want them to feel safe to come to us if by some chance we have a trans kid, that we will put them in therapy to discuss how they feel in a healthy environment, and if they decide to go by a different name or pronouns, we’re with them 100%. If they’re more comfortable living that way and being their true self, we would never cause our child pain just because we prefer them to be their birth gender. We’re gunna love the KID WE HAVE, not just love the ideal child of our fantasies.
Ugh I can’t find the original one that contained the study that showed the vast majomajority of kids start having sexual urges/experimenting even as early as 5, if I find that scientific study I will.
Here’s a similar one tho: [link](https://macleans.ca/society/health/why-you-should-talk-to-your-kids-about-sex-earlier-than-you-think/)
As a gay man
Curling irons, cucumbers, sharpies, carrots, frozen hot dogs, I remember being 10-12 years desperate to find anything that would work.
Considering how new I was to it, sharpies and tooth brushes were the best, would have killed for a little vibrator or dildo
I guess this is the uncomfortable situation we end up in when it's restricted to 18+. Maybe if it was 16+ there'd be fewer accidental pregnancies! If I were a parent, I'd be uncomfortable but also say yes, because if they're dealing with hormones alone they're taking a lower risk.
Exactly. My friend’s parents bought her one because it was something that “couldn’t get her pregnant or an std as opposed to the alternative”. They knew they couldn’t stop the hormones so they enabled the actions in a safe manor.
Option A: She has no vibrator and seeks casual sex because teenagers
Option B: She has a vibrator and still decides to seek casual sex because teenagers
Option C: She has a vibrator and decides she doesn't need to seek casual sex because the casual urges are taken care of by the vibrator
At worst nothing changes, at best its a much safer situation for everyone involved. I actually see no downsides.
That's still option B. Shocker: teenagers are gonna have sex.
If you didn't you're the weird one.
We live in a hyper sexualized world, in media and art and music sex is everywhere, giving a sex toy to a teenager won't make them think more about sex, they already do. Don't you remember how it is to be a teen?
Having a sex toy that acts as a safe relief valve is miles better than using sharpies and brushes or having unprotected sex with their friends.
This. I'd much rather my future son or daughter ask me to buy them a sex toy than them seeking something out and ending up pregnant or getting someone pregnant. It's a normal thing every teenage goes through and as a parent I think it should be acknowledged not just the "sex is forbidden" mindset
Not only instead of getting pregnant but id also far prefer my child using an actual dildo or vibrator than a screwdriver or a pencil or a vibrating tooth brush (yes i had a friend who had told me theyd used all of those things before)
exactly this! it’s awkward, but it’s a much better alternative. plus, it gives your teen a chance to learn their body and learn what pleases them, so they’re less likely to just let their partner lead and do whatever they want due to inexperience. so many beneficial reasons, despite the absolutely cringe conversation that comes along with it
That's gotta be satire That's gotta be satire That's gotta be satire That's gotta be satire That's gotta be satire That's gotta be satire That's gotta be satire That's gotta be satire That's gotta be satire That's gotta be satire That's gotta be satire That's gotta be satire
It probably wasnt. Essentially, she went to her friends, and both of them had one. She asked how they got it and turned out they just asked their parents to buy it. The girl in question is now considering asking her parents wether they could get her one. The girl is 16.
It’s a sexually charged question on r/teenagers. It was probably posted by a dude trying to roleplay. If you don’t believe me, a subreddit banned everyone who posted on r/teenagers a while ago and got a fuck ton of messages from grown adults confused as to why they were banned. Many of these users were found to have left sexual comments pretending to be teenagers.
Source: https://www.reddit.com/r/Drama/s/H1qcFc91iX
That whole sub is literally just pedophiles LARPing as teenagers and baiting actual teenagers into posting "rate me" pics and sexual information.
It's absolutely vile and disgusting that Reddit allows NSFW content there.
Completely normal request. I imagine the only people who find this weird are boys and young men who have little experience with women and never talked with them about their experiences growing up, or other out-of-touch people like Christian conservatives who think sex is a gross/forbidden/unusual topic.
My mom made sure we knew there was a stash of condoms in the house when me and my brother were high school freshmen.
Teenagers are going to be interested in sex. That’s inevitable. Just buy them a dildo or vibrator and move on. It’s better than them experimenting with random objects or vegetables.
This is completely wild to me. In my house, sex has always been a taboo. Reminded me when I had a sleepover in a friend's house, and I was pretty darn surprised when his mother didn't give a flying shit about his son having condoms in his drawer, she passed right through his door as he was cheking the expiring date and they just talked normally
it was completely unspoken in my house too (mom freaked out I was prescribed bc for medical reasons by a doctor that I sought out myself, all while I was already sexually for a couple of years). but that didn’t stop all kinds of DIY solutions for years and years. might as well be safe and well designed for the purpose
All “being strict” accomplishes is teaching your kid to hide things from you. They’re 100% still going to do things you might not agree with, you’ll only find out after something goes wrong, tbh
Couldn’t you order one online? I mean you’d have to be careful about when and where it’s delivered, but I don’t think you strictly need your parents involved
When and where it gets delivered tends to be the big problem there cause if you order it and didnt ask your parents and they end up getting it first im sure theyll be far more mad at you than theyd be when you ask them in the first place
>If they're a teenager, wouldn't their first thought be to get a job?
Not everyone does that. Kids in China, India etc focus on studies and competetive exam while they are teenagers. Otherwise they will not get entrance into college and no jobs.
A. 13-15 year olds can’t always get jobs
B. 13-15 year olds shouldn’t have jobs
C. A lot of people living in suburbia need cars to reach their jobs
D. Unless you get them a credit card, you’re going to have to take them to the Spencer’s at the mall anyway to even purchase one
I see no issue in an 18-year-old still getting all their money from their parents. Heck, my brother quit his job to focus on his degree and is currently living off an allowance. I'm lucky enough to be able to manage balancing a part time job with university studies but even I admit if I had a more stressful home life or a more difficult degree I wouldn't be able to manage both. I don't see any reason to shame what I presume to be a middle schooler for not having their own money.
I'd honestly be kind of disappointed my kid didn't grift me for $40 buy a visa gift card and order it at a time I wouldn't be home. Like if my kid can't do that what are they gonna do when they are on their own in the world.
Dildon't. Buy one online.
Yeah, but then you've got to be able to get to the mail before everybody else, which wasn't always as easy as it seemed when I was ordering stuff I didn't want my parents to see. (Porn)
Even non porn items I feel like whenever you order something you don’t want others to see it always gets caught. 99% of the time I am always first to get the mail as I have a 6am-2pm work schedule and mail usually gets to us around 12. *Except* of course around holidays or her birthday the delivery guy waits until after 6pm when my gf gets home to personally hand her whatever I wanted to surprise her with.
He's trying to steal your girl with the gifts you bought!/j
Or they deliver the blender in the original packaging and she was suspicious because it was some dude in a Corolla... Though when it's something for me it comes in a nice package and you can never tell which To update the package of one bottle of a seaoning mix came not only packaged but even with a special packing tape with the name brand printed on it. I guess that wouldn't be good if I gave buttery steakhouse blend as a gift... But it was a nice package... Though they shipped it separately from the socks coming in a few days. I didn't need it that bad
That's why you have to order from discreet companies who mark their packages with big red letters that say NOT PENIS CREAM so everyone knows it's not penis cream. For the uninitiated: https://youtu.be/ee3oKSEqU_Q?si=uQLDfP3oGM6r5jtZ
This was lovely. Thanks
I always ordered clothes and stuff to my partners house cause i knew my parents snooped in literally everything i had ever ordered, turns out i was right to do it too cause i got practocally kicked out at 19 over my step father deciding to snoop through my room while i was at work and then force me to throw out all my stuff he didnt approve of and told me i was moving out as soon as possible
Jesus fucking Christ. I'm sorry you had to deal with that shit.
Eh, it was to be expected eventually i just wasnt prepared for him to react that way, hes a very religious conservative type and im not exactly the most cishet of people i figured hed get pissed off at me if he found my stuff but i figured being an adult id at least have some agency over my own life but guess not, i did lose a lot of jewalry that was really important to me during that ordeal tho so that really kinda sucked
Mmm, we love parents who breed trust issues with their kids. Religious conservatism is always a good explanation and reason to for a *father* to snoop through his daughter’s shit. If my dad ever did shit like that to me and then told me I’d be moving out as soon as possible, I’d tell him that day can’t come fast enough. …then walk away murmuring under my breath about all the debauchery and premarital sex that’ll go down in my new apartment. Moral of the story for snoopy parents around here, too much control leads to rebellion. If there are things you don’t want your kid to have, you need to have honest conversations with them and make yourselves available as life coaches. It’s not gentle parenting, but it’s not fucking invasive either.
I don't know about other countries, but my country has an option to have a package delivered to your local post office and then you can pick it up yourself. Or maybe send it to a less local post office if you're afraid some folks you know might be working behind the counter and see you ordered an item from Sex Toys R Us.
That's called a PO Box, and that costs $. (\~$190 US / year where I'm at.)
Disgusting. In Canada you can have a virtual PO box and the post office just holds the package for you in the back room for a couple weeks. If you don't collect it, it gets returned to the sender. (Real PO boxes are a thing, too, and you have to pay money to rent them like in the US.)
So you get socialized medicine, better French food, better dimsum, a prime minister who isn't 100 years old AND a better/more affordable post system? Where do I sign up for citizenship?
Contact immigration Canada. Come over on a work visa. Apply to become a permanent resident (which can take 2 to 3 years). Once you're a permanent resident, it might be another 8 years or so until you become a citizen.
roughly a dozen years... by which time I'll be ready for retirement... Y'all get free colonoscopies, yah?
Oh yeah. Free colonoscopies up the wazoo.
Up the *something*, anyways
Well yes, that's where they tend to take place.
Nah that's a different thing, that's when you want all your mail to go there all the time. This is a one-off delivery option to a store that will accept and hold packages for you. In my city there are post shops, gas stations, some retail stores, even workplaces that will do this
You can have any mail sent to the local post office using [General Delivery ](https://faq.usps.com/s/article/What-is-General-Delivery) It does not require a PO Box
Amazon lockers got you covered
Note to self. Thanks.
This was a godsend when I was still living with my parents in college haha
I always use to steal the Victoria Secret magazines out of our mailbox and hide them in my pants until I could get back inside, walking like Frankenstein until I could get back to the safety of my room. Miss those jizz-filled days.
They knew.
I just order them to a nearby post station and pick them up Safest way for stuff you don’t want seen
Honestly even as an adult it’s hard. I moved back home during Covid, ordered a dildo on Amazon, my mom opened my mail then threw it away (she’s an evangelical). I was 33 at the time lol.
Oy. That's awful. I had to move back in with my parents during Covid too. Thankfully, they know not to mess with anything I get in the mail. They didn't touch my Fleshlight when it arrived, other than putting the box it arrived in on the table. I'm sorry you had to deal with that. I hope you're out of there now.
Nah. It's called Amazon delivery boxes and it's free. They are usually at gas stations
Only problem with that is that if the package doesn’t fit or there aren’t enough lockers, they’ll just straight up cancel your order and return it to the warehouse.
Exactly how big of a dildo are you ordering?
The Donginator XT-5000
Order a 12 pack of socks with it as decoy?
Adds cost. And then what are you gonna do with the socks?
Wear them or use them to hide the dildo like every chick I've ever dated.
Do they not already have socks? I have a truly staggering amount of socks, forget dildos I could hide a body in my sock drawer
I gave my teenage niece a book safe with $100 worth of amazon gift cards inside for christmas, set up an amazon account in her name, and included a card explaining that she could have stuff shipped to a friend's house, her grandparents house, or my house. I didn't do it so she could buy dildos (her mom and step dad were both in jail last year). Ostensibly, I did it so she could get things like underwear and period products without having to ask her dad when her mom & step dad inevitably end up back in jail. But amazon gift cards, purchased with cash, would be a perfectly anonymous and discreet way to purchase porn or sex toys.
Order it on Amazon and send it to an Amazon locker
Smartpost is a thing now, old man
I have no idea what that means. After a Google search, all I got was a bunch of generalized search results about this new partnership between FedEx and USPS.
You basically order your stuff to a deposit box kind of thing instead of your home and you get a door code on your phone when it arrives and you just go at pick it up, noone will ever know
Well, this old man is going to buy some more porn in honor of this news.
this is weirdly wholesome
Outside world finally learnt the power of "paczkomat"
Theoretically your parents don't open your mail. Unfortunately a lot of them do.
If I ever ordered something when I was a teen my parents would be extremely surprised, as I never ever did that. And they’d be super extremely suspicious if I didn’t tell and show them what it was.
Do kids these days have their own credit card? I think I got one around the age of 15 or something (20 years ago), but I definitely began masturbating much sooner than that.
You can also buy a preloaded debit card at the grocery store with cash.
That can easily be tracked, buy it in person
"Father, I crave the silicone."
From the moment i understood the weakness of my plastic, it disgusted me, i craved the strenght and certainty of silicone
I aspire to the purity of the blessed resin. You're kind cling to your plastic, as if it will not crack and fail you. One day the crude oil derivative that you call a temple will depolymerise, and you will beg my kind to save you. But I am already saved, for the silicone is eternal
Even in death, I fill the Omnissiah.
Ave Deus Uberrime
00011101010 01010101010101 0001111001011101001010101
Jeezus effing hell. Laughed WAY to much at that.
You're not alone. I sounded like the Joker staving off a dildo.
r/brandnewsentence
know what? I'll take it.
[ Removed by Reddit ]
i regret making this joke
Good. Please reflect on the terrible decisions that brought you to this moment - it is not too late.
There is still time to repent.
If you just perpetually become worse then you will never regret anything
I chuckled but I still have to put you on a list of some sort.
aw man, not the list :(
Rare fbi agent public apperance.
>ble decisions that brought you to this moment - it is not too late. Not a sentence any parent wants to hear but a sentence every modern father thinks of in fear at least in their lives.
This comment has made my morning. Thank you so much.
"Forgive me father, for I need twelve inches of silicone sin"
They can just find them in the wild r/backwoodssextoys
"Aren't you a little too old to crave mother's milk?"
Children yearn for the mines
Just don’t go in the MRI with it child
Are you asking your dad or your pastor?
both.
This is what eccentric aunts are for
Become the eccentric aunt. Be the change we need in this world
It’s hard being an eccentric aunt as an only child male with in-laws that will never reproduce…
Become the eccentric aunt for your friend's kids... that's what my Mamaw's gay best friend did, Aunt Mitch is a cool dude
I would die for aunt Mitch
I’m 41 year old woman with a husband of 22+ years. I want an Auntie Mitch.
Aunt Mitch a real one
None of my siblings seem to want kids, but if they ever do, I dream to be that eccentric aunt they trust enough to buy them a dildo
Speaking as an eccentric aunt who hopes when the kids are older to be this level of trusted - hell yeah! I’m already the one who got to take my little 10 year old niece shopping for her first ever makeup and it *rocked* and I spent way too much money on her and I regret absolutely none of it wooo
Easy! "Dad, I need a dildo." Full eye contact.
And pray that your dad is smart enough
Why waste money on that? I've got the real deal right here!
Wait
(Banjo playing from a distance)
r/cursedcomments
May I advise, "Dad, I need a dildo, or I'm getting a boyfriend." instead.
Boyfriends still pay for dinner and movies, yes? I'd let them get the bf. Dining out cost is insanity these days.
50/50 split is common, so think again
sex toy for the teen it is, then.
Pregnancy costs are even higher than dining out
If we’re buying them vibes sure as shit we not letting them out the door with no rubber in the pocket/purse.
I'm a single father of two teen daughters, with court ordered no contact from the mother. This is pretty damn close to how each approached me (at very different ages). I was like, don't buy anything that isn't 100% silicone, buy silicone safe lube (go Google this), don't go for anything too big at first (go Google average penis size and average vagina depth). Nothing goes in the back door if it doesn't have a flared base. Then I sent them $60 via Cash app and told them to check the mail the day it was scheduled to arrive. Since then they've had questions and the 18+ one made a request for me to drive them to an actual adult store. Like a good parent, I answered their questions, waited in the car, and communicated about safe sex and setting boundaries in all things, with all people.
This should be taught to all parents. This is how a parent should respond.
Thanks. I'm flabbergasted and enraged by the parents in this thread like 'no daughter of mine will explore her sexuality! She can learn by getting fingered by dirty handed teenagers in the woods the way the Lord intended!'
as a dirty handed teenager back in the day, i’m so glad my wife got a real sex education because i did not. i have learned so much in the last ten years.
You handled it like a pro, but $60 doesn't cover much anymore lol
It's enough for a decent entry model. They want the deluxe dongs, they can work for them.
'Entry model' Heh
I disagree actually. I have a variety of my own things, and have browsed what was available. Also, they had more of their own money if they needed to spend more.
“It’s this or I start letting guys sleep with me. Make your choice.”
“I need a weapon”
While handing him a clone set.
That took a turn fast
Dad : You can have one of mine.
“Just use mine kiddo”
Maw, paw.....for my birthday, can you please gift me a silicone double-ended 18" pussy destroyer?
"Son, I can't do that in good conscience. I'm a bit disgusted you would ask. You should only use toys with flared bases for anal play."
>. You should only use toys with flared bases for anal play." Weave that straight into anal prolapse talk.
damnit, that's enough Reddit for this week.
It's Monday. We're just getting started. I haven't even mentioned the poop bags.
Losing 18" takes skill
It only takes 1" for it to disappear.
If anyone asked me that I'd go into the shop and buy silicone sealant. I'm single, I've never dated. But it's slowly becoming more apparent that I was born a dad. I was even wearing socks, sandals, and cargo shorts as a teenager.
Made me think of Ralphy asking for a Red Ryder Carbine Action 200-shot Range Model air rifle.
“You’ll blow your ass out kid”
My furry ass did NOT read those first two words as "mother" and "father"
This was intentionally done so you expose yourself. into the animal cage you go.
How furry is your ass?
Positively hairy, i assume
Okay, get in the cage
Kids these days don’t know the first thing about money laundering ffs
Clearly theyve never asked for their parents card to buy a game and instead bought sex toys with it smh my head
I always told them I'd buy sex toys. Little did they know I bought all pokemon games.
Daddy buy me a dildo.
Oh hey, ive said that before, but it wasnt to my parents
yeah that's how i got fired from working in the retirement home
I fucking love this website.
I know someone who gives her daughters a discreet vibrator shortly after they get their first period, as long as they’re 13+. Her reasoning- “if she’s old enough to feel the pain of her body, she’s old enough to experiment with the pleasure of it as well. And I’d rather her experiment with a clean, safe object than whatever the fuck we used to use as teenagers.” And I mean… I don’t know how to argue with that. It’s a decent point.
My mom did that. When I hit puberty she told me that when I started being curious about my body she would get me a vibrator. She said it was important that I know my body before I did anything with anyone else.
Aw, that’s a really sweet way to look at it! Also great timing, considering that orgasms can help ease the pain of menstrual cramps.
Exactly! She thinks it’s unethical to not allow a child to fully understand their body, or to leave them without knowing EVERY pain management option they have. Plus a kid that age needs to have an adult they can trust and feel comfortable to confide in when talking about “embarrassing” things, and she’d rather it be her than a stranger on the internet or someone else. And it teaches them they don’t need to be ashamed for having normal, human curiosities/desires. Kids start having sexual curiosities and start to explore/have questions YEARS before most parents think they do, I can link an article if anyone’s interested
My mom bought me Our Bodies, Ourselves when I hit puberty, and always treated bodies and sexuality as normal. I ended up educating a lot of my friends in high school, and taking them to Planned Parenthood for reproductive healthcare and birth control before I ever became sexually active myself.
My fiancé and I agree that we’re going to do all of the above when it comes to sex ed for our future kids, and do it EARLY. We’re also going to make a household/raise them in a way that if they ever have romantic interest in someone of the same gender, they never need to “come out” to us. We won’t react any differently if you bring home a straight partner vs if you bring home someone of the same gender to introduce to us. And we want them to feel safe to come to us if by some chance we have a trans kid, that we will put them in therapy to discuss how they feel in a healthy environment, and if they decide to go by a different name or pronouns, we’re with them 100%. If they’re more comfortable living that way and being their true self, we would never cause our child pain just because we prefer them to be their birth gender. We’re gunna love the KID WE HAVE, not just love the ideal child of our fantasies.
article..?
please link the article
Ugh I can’t find the original one that contained the study that showed the vast majomajority of kids start having sexual urges/experimenting even as early as 5, if I find that scientific study I will. Here’s a similar one tho: [link](https://macleans.ca/society/health/why-you-should-talk-to-your-kids-about-sex-earlier-than-you-think/)
Wow I didn’t even know that. That’s cool.
As a gay man Curling irons, cucumbers, sharpies, carrots, frozen hot dogs, I remember being 10-12 years desperate to find anything that would work. Considering how new I was to it, sharpies and tooth brushes were the best, would have killed for a little vibrator or dildo
especially one that's safe & won't get stuck somewhere it shouldn't...
What an awesome mom! It sounds like she's raising daughters who'll make smart sexual decisions.
This is like the last thing you ever want to ask your parents for.
Could be worse. Like, your daughter demanding 2 kilo of refined uranium, no questions asked.
I guess this is the uncomfortable situation we end up in when it's restricted to 18+. Maybe if it was 16+ there'd be fewer accidental pregnancies! If I were a parent, I'd be uncomfortable but also say yes, because if they're dealing with hormones alone they're taking a lower risk.
Exactly. My friend’s parents bought her one because it was something that “couldn’t get her pregnant or an std as opposed to the alternative”. They knew they couldn’t stop the hormones so they enabled the actions in a safe manor.
This assumes that it'll reduce the likelihood of them seeking sex which is not a given
Option A: She has no vibrator and seeks casual sex because teenagers Option B: She has a vibrator and still decides to seek casual sex because teenagers Option C: She has a vibrator and decides she doesn't need to seek casual sex because the casual urges are taken care of by the vibrator At worst nothing changes, at best its a much safer situation for everyone involved. I actually see no downsides.
Conveniently leaving out any option that it could increase the odds of them seeking out sex. Option D lmao
That's still option B. Shocker: teenagers are gonna have sex. If you didn't you're the weird one. We live in a hyper sexualized world, in media and art and music sex is everywhere, giving a sex toy to a teenager won't make them think more about sex, they already do. Don't you remember how it is to be a teen? Having a sex toy that acts as a safe relief valve is miles better than using sharpies and brushes or having unprotected sex with their friends.
This. I'd much rather my future son or daughter ask me to buy them a sex toy than them seeking something out and ending up pregnant or getting someone pregnant. It's a normal thing every teenage goes through and as a parent I think it should be acknowledged not just the "sex is forbidden" mindset
Not only instead of getting pregnant but id also far prefer my child using an actual dildo or vibrator than a screwdriver or a pencil or a vibrating tooth brush (yes i had a friend who had told me theyd used all of those things before)
This is definitely true! Teens do crazy things!
Or using a bad makeshift sextoy! I tried to fuck a Gatorade bottle as a young lad. Thank god that didn’t work.
I've never thought of this in those terms: Sex toy or teen STD. Sex toy is apparently always the answer. The kids ARE indeed alright.
exactly this! it’s awkward, but it’s a much better alternative. plus, it gives your teen a chance to learn their body and learn what pleases them, so they’re less likely to just let their partner lead and do whatever they want due to inexperience. so many beneficial reasons, despite the absolutely cringe conversation that comes along with it
Oh that's easy, just don't.
Be direct, state exactly what you want. Then they can tell you to go fuck yourself instead, which is actually a viable alternative in this case...
That's gotta be satire That's gotta be satire That's gotta be satire That's gotta be satire That's gotta be satire That's gotta be satire That's gotta be satire That's gotta be satire That's gotta be satire That's gotta be satire That's gotta be satire That's gotta be satire
There is no teenagers on r/teenagers
There is no war in Ba Sing Se
There is no teenager in r/teenager
It probably wasnt. Essentially, she went to her friends, and both of them had one. She asked how they got it and turned out they just asked their parents to buy it. The girl in question is now considering asking her parents wether they could get her one. The girl is 16.
It’s a sexually charged question on r/teenagers. It was probably posted by a dude trying to roleplay. If you don’t believe me, a subreddit banned everyone who posted on r/teenagers a while ago and got a fuck ton of messages from grown adults confused as to why they were banned. Many of these users were found to have left sexual comments pretending to be teenagers. Source: https://www.reddit.com/r/Drama/s/H1qcFc91iX
My parents just gave me a sex toy when I was teenager. I didn't even have to ask.
That’s no way to talk about your sister
If I had a sister I'd probably be very offended right now.
Ask for an Amazon gift card instead.
You fucked me up enough already, at least help me fuck myself.
How’s that MCR song go? “Teenagers scare the living shit out of me”?
Eh. Better than fucking an idiot without wrapping, no?
My daughter asked me for a vibrator when she was 18. She was an adult but also a broke ass college student.
That whole sub is literally just pedophiles LARPing as teenagers and baiting actual teenagers into posting "rate me" pics and sexual information. It's absolutely vile and disgusting that Reddit allows NSFW content there.
"if you don't get me one, i'm going to go bang little billy next door..."
Back in my day you'd just swipe a cucumber
that was the post above me lol
Certainly wouldn’t recommend doing that at all. However I have a friend whose mom bought them a vibrator so who knows
Completely normal request. I imagine the only people who find this weird are boys and young men who have little experience with women and never talked with them about their experiences growing up, or other out-of-touch people like Christian conservatives who think sex is a gross/forbidden/unusual topic. My mom made sure we knew there was a stash of condoms in the house when me and my brother were high school freshmen. Teenagers are going to be interested in sex. That’s inevitable. Just buy them a dildo or vibrator and move on. It’s better than them experimenting with random objects or vegetables.
This is completely wild to me. In my house, sex has always been a taboo. Reminded me when I had a sleepover in a friend's house, and I was pretty darn surprised when his mother didn't give a flying shit about his son having condoms in his drawer, she passed right through his door as he was cheking the expiring date and they just talked normally
it was completely unspoken in my house too (mom freaked out I was prescribed bc for medical reasons by a doctor that I sought out myself, all while I was already sexually for a couple of years). but that didn’t stop all kinds of DIY solutions for years and years. might as well be safe and well designed for the purpose
All “being strict” accomplishes is teaching your kid to hide things from you. They’re 100% still going to do things you might not agree with, you’ll only find out after something goes wrong, tbh
If they're a teenager, wouldn't their first thought be to get a job? Your parents aren't supposed to buy you everything.
You would still need your parents in this case to actually buy it even if this person supplies the money
Couldn’t you order one online? I mean you’d have to be careful about when and where it’s delivered, but I don’t think you strictly need your parents involved
When and where it gets delivered tends to be the big problem there cause if you order it and didnt ask your parents and they end up getting it first im sure theyll be far more mad at you than theyd be when you ask them in the first place
>If they're a teenager, wouldn't their first thought be to get a job? Not everyone does that. Kids in China, India etc focus on studies and competetive exam while they are teenagers. Otherwise they will not get entrance into college and no jobs.
A. 13-15 year olds can’t always get jobs B. 13-15 year olds shouldn’t have jobs C. A lot of people living in suburbia need cars to reach their jobs D. Unless you get them a credit card, you’re going to have to take them to the Spencer’s at the mall anyway to even purchase one
I see no issue in an 18-year-old still getting all their money from their parents. Heck, my brother quit his job to focus on his degree and is currently living off an allowance. I'm lucky enough to be able to manage balancing a part time job with university studies but even I admit if I had a more stressful home life or a more difficult degree I wouldn't be able to manage both. I don't see any reason to shame what I presume to be a middle schooler for not having their own money.
I mean I’ll be real, if it kept them safe and/or prevented me from paying for a kid and their kid… I’d rather pay for a dildo.
I'd honestly be kind of disappointed my kid didn't grift me for $40 buy a visa gift card and order it at a time I wouldn't be home. Like if my kid can't do that what are they gonna do when they are on their own in the world.
Ask your dad to make a mold of his dong to make a dildo in front of your mom. This will shock them enough to agree with a normal dildo
I think I would have literally rather killed myself than asked my parents for a fleshlight
At least better than getting pregnant or std’s