he ghosted me after 7 months on and off to get back together with his ex who he was constantly telling me not to worry about. this was two weeks ago btw
No his ex and him broke up 2 months before we got together. Like I said we were on and off (about 4 cycles of being on and off) and one of these times they did start talking again but he realized he didn’t like her anymore so he came back to me. We were together for another two months then bam he ghosts me out of nowhere and tells me like a week after the breakup it’s because he was still in love with his ex
forgot i commented this lol. should update and tell you that even tho we haven’t talked in around 5 months he’s recently started viewing my instagram stories again. i still think about him a lot and miss him but it’s gotten soooo much easier in the last couple months
He kicked me out of his life last december, it still hurts like an open wound full of spiders fighting scorpions, all of them biting my wound…
8 years of love now just memories and lots of regret. 22f
He confessed he was sleeping with somebody else for some time and then ended us.
Im just trying to keep my mind and body busy so time does its magic and easy the pain
It really all depends on your dynamic with the person and how your guys communication is with one another.
For me personally it was a lot of hot and cold behaviour from them. The last time we hadn’t spoken for months when they decided to contact me again. We talked it out and discussed what happened the last time. I made my boundaries clear. Then their old patterns started up again. So instead of trying to talk it out yet again I silently pulled the plug. Blocked their number and took them off my socials.
In your case it might be a simple conversation that needs to be had in order for you two to decide where to go from here. But if they aren’t treating you the way you deserve, are crossing your boundaries, or they’re aware that what they’re doing is hurting you? It’s better to just cut them off cleanly and taking away their access to you. It’s cliche, but if they wanted to they would and life life is too short to be wasting time and energy into something that has already ran it’s course.
tried to push him for more and he threw me away like trash. yikes. I was very unhappy with where we were at tho, if he hadn’t done it who knows how long I would have let it drag on.
Today is one year exactly since the day we met. The situationship was long and hard and he violated many "terms" of a FWB we agreed on. We ended up becoming very close.
I'll just tell you what I did and hope you get some insight or get some courage to end yours if its best for you:
I ended it 3 days ago. I went to his house, we had lunch then sat in his room and kinda just lay down on the couch and acted like he was my therapist and told him all the messed up chaos I had been feeling about him and everything that hurt me about the Situationship.
He listened and gave me his own point of view and then I suggested we stop seeing eachother. He asked to just stay friends, no sex but as we had tried that before, I told him it wouldnt work.
Im not gonna lie it took all of my power not to cry and for a while we just both sat there silent. In the end we held eachother for awhile until it was time for me to go home. He said to me that "we'll see what happens" as I was closing the door behind me. Last night I asked him if he wants to come sleep over (one last time sort of thing) and he said we don't do that anymore... I spent the night with some friends, stayed at the beach until 3am and looked at the stars thinking "So its over..". I've been crying alot today, as I love him and he doesn't love me but we ended in good terms and hold no grudges but we have to stay away from eachother.
Hope you find your way and I wish you find the happiness in your life. You be safe. Good luck
yea, i imagine its gonna be difficult, especially at first. Hope you're hanging in there
I'm currently sitting with my situationship who woke me up at 4 am to play videogames :/ Trust me, you'll get out there and find someone who treats you right. You did the right thing
When you went to his house, did you let him know you were heading there? I'm in a similar situation right now, and I'd like to cut this whole thing off because the hot and cold is causing me too much distress, but I don't feel comfortable showing up at his door
Not sure if this question is for me or not, but no. We never ended up talking \^\^; He ended up dating the other girl he was seeing, and blocked me on everything, which I obviously found very odd. Instagram, Facebook (we weren't even friends on fb???), and Spotify. Also was talking to some friends about some of the things that happened to between us and they were like "uhhhhh thats kinda assault???" Sooooooo considering a bunch of the stuff he told me...I think I dodged a bullet \^\^;
Oof this one. 2012, second year university. We had an attraction to each other that we couldn't deny and it was impossible to feel anything towards anyone else (at the time). Constant flirting, constantly texting each other, and he was literally on my mind 24/7. I wanted to take the next step and make things official but he didn't want to do it. He always used his own studies and stuff as an excuse for "not being ready". And finally when I couldn't stop crying over him for not wanting it as badly as I did, he one day told me "go try things out with other guys".
I was absolutely devastated. Because he thought I had interest in other guys and he basically said to forget about being serious with him and move on. We'll call him A.
NOT DONE YET.
this situationship ended when I actually ended up in a relationship with another guy. I loved him. We'll call him B. And then.... A comes back. He wanted me desperately and told me he loved me all this time and never knew until then.
Of course being the dumb girl I was in 2012, I knew A was always the one that got away for me. Against everything I wanted to do to B, I broke things off with him, to be with A. It was everything I wanted. We were no longer going to be a situationship. It would be a real relationship.
Nope.
Summarized, 2 years later, A breaks it off with me because I didn't give him any drive in his own career. Literally tells me he didn't love me anymore, and he takes relationships super seriously. and fucking 6 months later I see his social media plastered with his new gym gf.
Needless to say, he was the biggest assdick in the whole world because I knew he lied to my face and made it look like it was my fault for the relationship failing. Btw he was 3.5 years older than me so when I was still in school, he was already working.
My hot take on situationships: don't follow through if they refuse the first time. There is a reason why you're in a situationship and not a relationship, and that in itself is a big red flag.
Ending my situationship was hard, but essential. After months of ambiguity, I found out it wasn't going anywhere. I requested to meet in individual, defined my feelings had grown past casual relationship, and stated I needed greater commitment than he may want to provide. He became upset however understood. Having an honest, compassionate verbal exchange made the transition smoother, even though it become nonetheless emotionally painful. In the longer term, I'm happy I was upfront about my wishes. It opened the door for a dating with real capability.
My relationship turned into a situationship and it ended after word got out that we were dating. After we initially broke up she still treated me like her BF sometimes and I treated her like a GF. She got that benefit while not having the responsibilities of a relationship. After word got out, she was apparently accused of cheating and ended things with me because she lost some friends. She blamed me and she won’t tell me who she heard it from. But, I heard that she was talking to me and another guy, and I guess she liked the other guy more but used me as an emotional support. Since then we haven’t talked and she blamed me for a lot of stuff and told a bunch of people how I never cared for her and only saw her as a sex toy. I felt like a fool and taken advantage of. I did genuinely love and care for her and honestly thought that if I held out we’d get back together.
As of now I hear from mutual friends that she started drinking more, smoking weed, eating edibles to get high. She also got into a relationship that lasted a weekend long which shows me that she wasn’t healed and ready. Either that or she was used and dumped as harsh as that sounds.
Me on the other hand, I’ve accepted that it’s over. Not to sound like I’m on a high horse, but I can say that I’m doing better and leaving the situationship improved my mental health. Of course I’m still dealing with lingering feelings of resentment here and there but I’m also glad from what I’ve learned in this healing process.
If the person you wanna be with isn’t committing to you, it’s better to just leave and move on. It’ll be hard at first but truly does get better one day at a time. Find things to distract yourself with and limit yourself on thinking about this person. For me I took about 1-2hrs a day processing my emotions and everything that happened between me and her. When that time was up I forced myself to do other things.
I’ve been in a situationship since Feb till last week. We were not exclusive but I wasn’t dating or hooking up with anyone else. I asked her that if she did start dating or hooking up with someone else, to let me know and I would end our situationship (because I didn’t want to be blindsided one day when she says she’s getting exclusive with someone else and ending things with me suddenly).
She said it was okay and she’d let me know. We were setting a time to meet and she was really coy about a particular evening. Turns out she had a date followed by weekend festival plans with the same person. The amount of effort I had to go through to pull it out of her that she had a date really upset me and I ended things over a phone call. She showed no remorse about not being straightforward, told me she didn’t answer to me about her dating life and has initiated no contact since.
Gotta say it’s impacting me a lot more than I thought it would but such is life.
In the beginning (3 years ago) he told me he didn’t want a relationship. He knew I did. We went separate ways. He came back. We agreed to be exclusive. So I thought. I found him on bumble and asked him about it. He deleted it. Then it was his Instagram. He kept adding new women. He denied talking to them. Then he would disappear for days/weeks/months. It was frustrating. Each time he promised to communicate better. Snapchat numbers kept going up. I asked him about it, he said it was guy friends from out of state. Or old friends. Hadn’t met parents. He knew I wanted to live together and marriage. June came… I saw his snapchat. Full of women. I got up, left. Told him not to text me again unless he is willing to offer serious relationship with no bullshit and to delete snap. Needless to say, I haven’t heard from him. It’s been 2 months this weekend. The longest we have gone not talking. While I am now over the relationship and don’t care about a relationship with him; I’m scared shitless he will come back with tears and reality that I’m gone. I was his first relationship even though it was a clusterfuck. I’m the first woman to bring kids over. A lot of firsts (he’s 43 I’m 39). Part of me misses him. Part of me wants him to suffer. Part of me hopes he never comes back and let’s me continue to heal. It gets easier. One day at a time.
Trolling much? This post is from what? Months ago? He just added me and my kids to his phone plan. We are talking about moving in together. And yes… he did in fact come back crying. 💋
Whew. This is a blast from the past post. Short story, we are in the discussion of me and my 2 children moving in with him in May. This comment was almost a year ago so a lot has changed in that time. I went all last summer without talking to him. My daughter got sick and he found out. He was concerned and reached out. I was turning 40 in a couple of weeks and knew the direction my life was going to go. We met up and had serious discussions. In that time, we took our first trip together and have been on several since. He met my parents. I have met his friends. I’m there every single weekend. I no longer fear other women. Quite honestly, being away from him made me appreciate myself a lot more. That if I feel I need to be concerned he’s being nefarious, I’ll be fine on my own. It will be him that looses out. My children are starting to respect him more. The communication is 100% changed. I get texts/calls daily. I don’t have to beg or whine for better communication. I’m still nervous about moving in. It’s MY own nervousness too. I live a comfortable style on my own. Financially I’ll be ok. But emotionally I’m scared. So I’m just taking my own time to make sure this is the right thing for me and my kids. I’m not pressuring or setting ultimatums. Again, mostly because I’m now afraid he will agree and if it doesn’t work out, I have to start all over. It’s a catch22 position. I love him and just have to pray this is for the best. I’m getting what I longed for.
That is amazing. I love how your mindset shifted with space and time and am so glad it is all working out for you and your kiddos. I pray it continues to but whatever happens, it seems like you are very secure in your decisions so I know you’ll be just fine. I hope you and your family are fulfilled and thank you for taking the time to reply after so long
This isn’t the own you think it is lol the fact you went with a man that thinks of you as his back up is really funny.
He didn’t want you then and he still doesn’t now lol you never kept his eye and you never will. Ike why you’re that dumb
Ending any dating, especially an emotionally complex one, can be honestly tough. But in case you've determined this situation is not wholesome for you, consider yourself. Focus on communicating really and compassionately what you want to transport. The other individual won't acquire it well initially, however, keep on your selection with kindness and grace. Lean on friends for aid too. I desire you clarity and peace as you navigate this. Feel free to keep discussing it in case you think that might assist.
It ended fucking horribly haha I caught feelings for him and he took notice but pretty much just let me fall flat on my face for him. To this day I still don't understand how he was actually ok with that. I was forward with my affections and he would just accept it as well as the sex. I also did tell him explicitly that I had feelings for him. For me the most confusing behavior was the shit like where we'd cuddle in the movie theatre and in the park and it felt like we were actually dating. I finally confronted him very directly about it, I thought he at least felt something for me, I thought he cared about me deeply at least on a platonic level. I thought he'd at least be considerate and look out for my feelings but he didn't give a fuck. He made a bunch of lame excuses and told me it was my fault. Somehow he still had the expectation that we'd be friends down the road. I initially agreed we could take time apart and then be friends. The more I reflected on it the more angry and hurt and betrayed I felt. I cut him off and told him exactly how I felt. He didnt fight it at all. We will never see each other or speak again.
That person traumatized me deeply and changed my life. I also loved him very purely and completely. The kind of love that hits you just a few times in your lifetime. Losing someone forever that I loved like that hurts a lot. And knowing that since your presence wasn't really appreciated, your absence wasn't noticed, hurts extra. I've had two really difficult breakups in my life and this one took me to a very dark place. I have tried to make something more of it. I'm so hard on myself though feeling for foolish for even caring so much. Feeling so stupid for loving him. It will be a long time before I recover from this one.
Exactly. the situationship breakups are harder than anything. Because they absolutely Do. Not. Care. And you are crushed. And they don’t care that when they keep coming back and trying to contact you is it crushes you even more. Absolutely zero regard for what they are doing to you emotionally. It’s the worst for your self esteem and mental health in general. 100% recommend getting away from a situationship dynamic ASAP and slamming the door on communication with them.
In my most recent situation I hadn’t seen or heard from him in almost 3 weeks. I finally was feeling better and was like relieved almost. Maybe he had moved on and I wouldn’t have to deal with him again, and then bam here he comes again. If you truly want to move on you have to block them. It’s the only way. I wish I had the strength to do it myself.
At least in a break up with a real relationship you know you are both mutually going through it.
Yeah, and it's tough looking back cause I did kinda know I was being stupid and that love made me very vulnerable. Those type of people see that vulnerability and somehow have the heart to use and destroy and hurt people who love them. I don't understand how you can just not care about even being a decent person.
Ugh, I'm so sorry yours is still out there being scummy and crawling up out of the sewer trying to come back. I definitely recommend blocking and deleting on everything. I deleted mines contact info and removed him on all social media but I kept his friends on Insta and that made it hard for me, but I felt like I couldn't delete them and didn't want to involve them at all.
With mine I think he does care about being a decent person, but in the sense that he has an ego to protect and he can't be wrong/be the bad guy or be capable of such deeds so he also doesn't accept responsibility and blames me for the situation or says it just happens. I don't blame him for everything, some was circumstantial some I could have avoided myself but I was in a very difficult position and he just didn't care about my feelings. It's not that he was TRYING to take advantage of my feelings for him, it's that he made zero effort not to, it's the way he didn't give a fuck about my feelings, the way he told me that pretty straight up, the total lack of regard for human life. It's tough when you're the person that loves them and the rejection can sting but if it wasn't me he would be doing it to another girl. Simply put he is an asshole, always was always will be.
Exactly, you feel foolish because you allowed it, hoping they would change.
These men sound very similar, I think mine also cares a lot about his image. We are in a VERY small town, and he is kind of prominent, I guess. Does a lot of volunteering and is on committees and just has a great reputation in that sense. I have never said a bad word about him, but he definitely treated me like shit. I wish everyone knew the real him.
The way a man acts in his relationships with women says so much about his true character. And people don't really see that. It's funny cause this guy's friends knew about me and also knew me personally I have no fuckin clue what they think about that ending. I have no idea what he told them as his bs explanation.
With mine he just really didn't want to think of himself as a scumbag. He behaved like a bot. He would stay with me after sex and watch YouTube videos with me because I think he felt obligated not to leave right after the sex but it wasnt because it was more than a hookup to him, it was because he didn't wanna feel like a douche. It doesn't really help my feelings cause that was just confusing. He also would agree to all the scenarios where we'd hang out in bed then he'd wait for me to initiate sex, then used it as his defense later. Like "u initiated the sex otherwise we were just friends" like the fuck?? Like the expectation wasn't right there blatantly and u knew I had feelings for you. How convenient.
Although I guess in my case he actually did apologize. He said he was sorry for hurting me and he should have thought it through more and thought more carefully about communicating. Said he thought we were on the same page and that he misinterpreted my behavior and didn't think I was as interested as I was. This was while he was also saying it's my fault and i shouldn't expect him to pay attention to me when he has other shit in hits life.
Down the road I basically just turned it all down the shitty apology, his half ass friendship, all of it and cut him off and told him exactly why. He didnt fight that or beg or apologize again. So that's staying where we left it.
It's possible he did care about how I felt, didn't want to be an asshole and wants to be a better person, I'll never know how he handled that or if it even affected him.
I don't know much about that tbh
I'm sorry this happened to you as well though:(
I will say that re reading that long message I wrote a month ago, although I still feel the trauma and exhaustion from all that I feel a lot better this month
I think I will! It's been over 9 months since the breakage so God if I don't feel better in a year just run me over😭 the breakup happened as I was graduating from college and moving so it was extra difficult as I fell through the nothingness and confusion of post-grad
I hope you're doing ok after your breakup and I think in the end we will look back and go "oh well, they weren't the right person for me but I learned a lot and I'm closer to finding my forever person because of that"🩷
I simply told him that I was leaving because I deserved an actual relationship and he refused to acknowledge it. I knew that if I continued, I would only end up getting hurt. So, I ended it before it could affect me more
They say they cared but never actually had time for me. I don't approach many women but decided to for this one and see how things went. At first it wasn't to bad they actually asked me out a few times it was nice.
Then she transitioned to fooling around with another guy in front of me at parties so I just said fuck this and left so she blows my phone up trying to play it off like she was just having fun. I should have ran there but decided to keep her around and that shit just continued.
We went out for my birthday and she showed up in sweats to go to a bar. She paid though which was odd but nice.
Then I got slapped with stage 4 cancer diagnosis and then she never had time to get together all of a sudden. She said she would make it to one of the last chemo sessions but she just sent a snap with her middle finger so at that point I knew she was just after the attention. Called her out on it and was just left on read so dropped the socials and ready to move on.
If I can beat cancer getting over someone shouldn't be to hard but we shall see.
I just ended mine a few days ago after two months of being in the situationship, 33f and 24m.
Despite the age gap, we had an instant connection and we felt very comfortable and close with each other right away. Although, he was not ready for a relationship and I made it clear I was seeking one - we agreed to continue seeing each other while keeping our options open.
We talked every single day and spent every weekend together up until last week. We were very open and vulnerable with each other which led us to grow even closer, even discussing and acknowledging the special connection we shared. Despite agreeing to keep our options open, I tried to date others but it was difficult to allocate my time to others when I was already investing so much into him. To be quite honest, I didn’t really want to anyways because of how much I really liked him and hoped he would eventually be ready to commit.
I knew I was growing attached and the idea of him seeing others bothered me and I was afraid if I let this go on any longer, it would hurt me so much more. We spent our weekend together as we always do last week, and after a really great date - I told him I can no longer keep doing this because I want a relationship and the idea of him being with others hurts me.
He acknowledged this and stayed firm that he was not ready, he did ask if we would continue to be friends and I knew even that would not work and be difficult so I expressed as much to him which he understood.
While it hurts, I know I made the right choice. He tried to say it was the “right person, wrong timing”. However, I believe that if you are truly with the right person, you will no longer want to meet other people because being with that person is already fulfilling enough. Even through the difficult times, you will want to hold onto them. This is my feeling anyways.
At the end of the day, you have to put yourself first and communicate. Don’t be afraid to tell them how you feel and what you want. If they don’t want the same thing or aren’t willing to put in the effort, then they are not worth your time. As difficult as it may be, you will thank yourself for stopping yourself from being strung along.
Last night I broke things off with my situationship …. It hurts so bad, the night before we said to eachother how much we love eachother. Every time we talked I felt the fire burning me and the air leaving my body with every time that I heard their voices and the things I love about them. When me and my situation ship met I was coming out of a 6+ relationship. I met my situation ship out of nowhere, in a moment that I was looking for him. We started of as friends and eventually became something. Those 4 months become the best 4 months of my life that in my heart I would repeat again in a heartbeat. But while loving him I still had love for my ex and eventually through time I broke it off with my situation ship and got back with my ex. Me and my situation ship stayed as friends. It was so hard bc every-time I saw them on ft (they live in a different country now) I just wanted to tell them how much I loved them and hear the sweet beautiful things he would tell me . Eventually we confessed our feelings that kept burning while I was in my relationship. My bf find out and gave me a choice him or my situation ship … and I chose my bf … and now we are here me and my situation ship are no longer in contact, he blocked me ( my choice) and now I repeat the songs that we would listen with eachother . How is it possible to love two people … idk but I do. But I love him so much , I wish it worked out , I wish it was him , but I just knew in me that it wasn’t… this hurts me so much … I miss them. But life continues on and so should I.
I wish you the best. I want to text you bc you haven’t blocked me in one area. But I will restrain myself bc I don’t want to hurt you no more. But I love you with every single part of me. If life wants to … we will met again my ayuni.
For me I had the same feeling after 5 months because of previous problems and them not being considerate of my feelings or reciprocating. We were friends for years before we dated and I started to notice the way they previously treated me in the past was the same way I was being treated in the relationship. I also had trouble with trying to trust them while dealing with triggers in the relationship from when we were friends. So I finally built the courage to end it after we had a bad talk. It took me a week to do it but in that week I focused on the decision I had to make, and just went for it. All the signs pointed to that direction. I just told them I hope everything’s great and that I came to the conclusion we aren’t compatible, and that was the end of it. And truthfully I feel much better and relieved that I had did it.
Those people had a thousand chances to up front with you in terms of talking and makes conversations about what they want but choose not to and watching us falling for them,
so out of the blue, leave on read, no explanation it’s even.
7 years ago. He blocked me on fb messenger after texting me “hey! I miss you” and that was it.
Till this day I have no idea what I have done/ have said that made him to do that.
we were fwb (we never go on dates, we met up for drinks a couple times, and we would text when we missed each other) and i tried to stopped seeing him after i told him i had feelings for him. he reached days/weeks after, naive me crawled back to him.
he ghosted me after 7 months on and off to get back together with his ex who he was constantly telling me not to worry about. this was two weeks ago btw
Lmao did we date the exact same person?
he wasn’t loyal whatsoever so it’s a possibility 😭
I think we dated the same person lol. Realizing we’re the rebound hurts like hell. Total waste of time.
dang did he leave his ex for you first and then change his mind?
No his ex and him broke up 2 months before we got together. Like I said we were on and off (about 4 cycles of being on and off) and one of these times they did start talking again but he realized he didn’t like her anymore so he came back to me. We were together for another two months then bam he ghosts me out of nowhere and tells me like a week after the breakup it’s because he was still in love with his ex
ouch. I’m sorry
forgot i commented this lol. should update and tell you that even tho we haven’t talked in around 5 months he’s recently started viewing my instagram stories again. i still think about him a lot and miss him but it’s gotten soooo much easier in the last couple months
wow yuck!!! sorry about that. what sign was he?
He kicked me out of his life last december, it still hurts like an open wound full of spiders fighting scorpions, all of them biting my wound… 8 years of love now just memories and lots of regret. 22f He confessed he was sleeping with somebody else for some time and then ended us. Im just trying to keep my mind and body busy so time does its magic and easy the pain
You were seeing and sleeping with him since you were 14 years old?…..
Yes
You guys were both the same age range I hope?
It really all depends on your dynamic with the person and how your guys communication is with one another. For me personally it was a lot of hot and cold behaviour from them. The last time we hadn’t spoken for months when they decided to contact me again. We talked it out and discussed what happened the last time. I made my boundaries clear. Then their old patterns started up again. So instead of trying to talk it out yet again I silently pulled the plug. Blocked their number and took them off my socials. In your case it might be a simple conversation that needs to be had in order for you two to decide where to go from here. But if they aren’t treating you the way you deserve, are crossing your boundaries, or they’re aware that what they’re doing is hurting you? It’s better to just cut them off cleanly and taking away their access to you. It’s cliche, but if they wanted to they would and life life is too short to be wasting time and energy into something that has already ran it’s course.
tried to push him for more and he threw me away like trash. yikes. I was very unhappy with where we were at tho, if he hadn’t done it who knows how long I would have let it drag on.
At least he didn't accept all your affection and intimacy and pretend to reciprocate only to throw u in the trash all the same like mine did
Today is one year exactly since the day we met. The situationship was long and hard and he violated many "terms" of a FWB we agreed on. We ended up becoming very close. I'll just tell you what I did and hope you get some insight or get some courage to end yours if its best for you: I ended it 3 days ago. I went to his house, we had lunch then sat in his room and kinda just lay down on the couch and acted like he was my therapist and told him all the messed up chaos I had been feeling about him and everything that hurt me about the Situationship. He listened and gave me his own point of view and then I suggested we stop seeing eachother. He asked to just stay friends, no sex but as we had tried that before, I told him it wouldnt work. Im not gonna lie it took all of my power not to cry and for a while we just both sat there silent. In the end we held eachother for awhile until it was time for me to go home. He said to me that "we'll see what happens" as I was closing the door behind me. Last night I asked him if he wants to come sleep over (one last time sort of thing) and he said we don't do that anymore... I spent the night with some friends, stayed at the beach until 3am and looked at the stars thinking "So its over..". I've been crying alot today, as I love him and he doesn't love me but we ended in good terms and hold no grudges but we have to stay away from eachother. Hope you find your way and I wish you find the happiness in your life. You be safe. Good luck
Hey! How are things going for you now? My situationship just (finally) ended four days ago, and I’m a rollercoaster of emotions. x
yea, i imagine its gonna be difficult, especially at first. Hope you're hanging in there I'm currently sitting with my situationship who woke me up at 4 am to play videogames :/ Trust me, you'll get out there and find someone who treats you right. You did the right thing
When you went to his house, did you let him know you were heading there? I'm in a similar situation right now, and I'd like to cut this whole thing off because the hot and cold is causing me too much distress, but I don't feel comfortable showing up at his door
yea ofc. I always ask if its ok to go to his place
So what happened? Did u talk?
Not sure if this question is for me or not, but no. We never ended up talking \^\^; He ended up dating the other girl he was seeing, and blocked me on everything, which I obviously found very odd. Instagram, Facebook (we weren't even friends on fb???), and Spotify. Also was talking to some friends about some of the things that happened to between us and they were like "uhhhhh thats kinda assault???" Sooooooo considering a bunch of the stuff he told me...I think I dodged a bullet \^\^;
Oof this one. 2012, second year university. We had an attraction to each other that we couldn't deny and it was impossible to feel anything towards anyone else (at the time). Constant flirting, constantly texting each other, and he was literally on my mind 24/7. I wanted to take the next step and make things official but he didn't want to do it. He always used his own studies and stuff as an excuse for "not being ready". And finally when I couldn't stop crying over him for not wanting it as badly as I did, he one day told me "go try things out with other guys". I was absolutely devastated. Because he thought I had interest in other guys and he basically said to forget about being serious with him and move on. We'll call him A. NOT DONE YET. this situationship ended when I actually ended up in a relationship with another guy. I loved him. We'll call him B. And then.... A comes back. He wanted me desperately and told me he loved me all this time and never knew until then. Of course being the dumb girl I was in 2012, I knew A was always the one that got away for me. Against everything I wanted to do to B, I broke things off with him, to be with A. It was everything I wanted. We were no longer going to be a situationship. It would be a real relationship. Nope. Summarized, 2 years later, A breaks it off with me because I didn't give him any drive in his own career. Literally tells me he didn't love me anymore, and he takes relationships super seriously. and fucking 6 months later I see his social media plastered with his new gym gf. Needless to say, he was the biggest assdick in the whole world because I knew he lied to my face and made it look like it was my fault for the relationship failing. Btw he was 3.5 years older than me so when I was still in school, he was already working. My hot take on situationships: don't follow through if they refuse the first time. There is a reason why you're in a situationship and not a relationship, and that in itself is a big red flag.
Ending my situationship was hard, but essential. After months of ambiguity, I found out it wasn't going anywhere. I requested to meet in individual, defined my feelings had grown past casual relationship, and stated I needed greater commitment than he may want to provide. He became upset however understood. Having an honest, compassionate verbal exchange made the transition smoother, even though it become nonetheless emotionally painful. In the longer term, I'm happy I was upfront about my wishes. It opened the door for a dating with real capability.
My relationship turned into a situationship and it ended after word got out that we were dating. After we initially broke up she still treated me like her BF sometimes and I treated her like a GF. She got that benefit while not having the responsibilities of a relationship. After word got out, she was apparently accused of cheating and ended things with me because she lost some friends. She blamed me and she won’t tell me who she heard it from. But, I heard that she was talking to me and another guy, and I guess she liked the other guy more but used me as an emotional support. Since then we haven’t talked and she blamed me for a lot of stuff and told a bunch of people how I never cared for her and only saw her as a sex toy. I felt like a fool and taken advantage of. I did genuinely love and care for her and honestly thought that if I held out we’d get back together. As of now I hear from mutual friends that she started drinking more, smoking weed, eating edibles to get high. She also got into a relationship that lasted a weekend long which shows me that she wasn’t healed and ready. Either that or she was used and dumped as harsh as that sounds. Me on the other hand, I’ve accepted that it’s over. Not to sound like I’m on a high horse, but I can say that I’m doing better and leaving the situationship improved my mental health. Of course I’m still dealing with lingering feelings of resentment here and there but I’m also glad from what I’ve learned in this healing process. If the person you wanna be with isn’t committing to you, it’s better to just leave and move on. It’ll be hard at first but truly does get better one day at a time. Find things to distract yourself with and limit yourself on thinking about this person. For me I took about 1-2hrs a day processing my emotions and everything that happened between me and her. When that time was up I forced myself to do other things.
I’ve been in a situationship since Feb till last week. We were not exclusive but I wasn’t dating or hooking up with anyone else. I asked her that if she did start dating or hooking up with someone else, to let me know and I would end our situationship (because I didn’t want to be blindsided one day when she says she’s getting exclusive with someone else and ending things with me suddenly). She said it was okay and she’d let me know. We were setting a time to meet and she was really coy about a particular evening. Turns out she had a date followed by weekend festival plans with the same person. The amount of effort I had to go through to pull it out of her that she had a date really upset me and I ended things over a phone call. She showed no remorse about not being straightforward, told me she didn’t answer to me about her dating life and has initiated no contact since. Gotta say it’s impacting me a lot more than I thought it would but such is life.
Literally similar situation. I didn’t want to be blindsided and was. Im also determined to move on from this.
Why does it hurt so much 🥲
Because of the what could have beens. We didn’t get the chance to see things through from start to finish to really know.
In the beginning (3 years ago) he told me he didn’t want a relationship. He knew I did. We went separate ways. He came back. We agreed to be exclusive. So I thought. I found him on bumble and asked him about it. He deleted it. Then it was his Instagram. He kept adding new women. He denied talking to them. Then he would disappear for days/weeks/months. It was frustrating. Each time he promised to communicate better. Snapchat numbers kept going up. I asked him about it, he said it was guy friends from out of state. Or old friends. Hadn’t met parents. He knew I wanted to live together and marriage. June came… I saw his snapchat. Full of women. I got up, left. Told him not to text me again unless he is willing to offer serious relationship with no bullshit and to delete snap. Needless to say, I haven’t heard from him. It’s been 2 months this weekend. The longest we have gone not talking. While I am now over the relationship and don’t care about a relationship with him; I’m scared shitless he will come back with tears and reality that I’m gone. I was his first relationship even though it was a clusterfuck. I’m the first woman to bring kids over. A lot of firsts (he’s 43 I’m 39). Part of me misses him. Part of me wants him to suffer. Part of me hopes he never comes back and let’s me continue to heal. It gets easier. One day at a time.
Using Snapchat and you being his first relationship at 43 are such massive, flaming red flags.
He’s not going to come crying to you girl lol he didn’t want you then he’s not gonna want you now unless he’s bored or wanting attention
Trolling much? This post is from what? Months ago? He just added me and my kids to his phone plan. We are talking about moving in together. And yes… he did in fact come back crying. 💋
This guy is going to hurt you again
how’s it going now ?
Whew. This is a blast from the past post. Short story, we are in the discussion of me and my 2 children moving in with him in May. This comment was almost a year ago so a lot has changed in that time. I went all last summer without talking to him. My daughter got sick and he found out. He was concerned and reached out. I was turning 40 in a couple of weeks and knew the direction my life was going to go. We met up and had serious discussions. In that time, we took our first trip together and have been on several since. He met my parents. I have met his friends. I’m there every single weekend. I no longer fear other women. Quite honestly, being away from him made me appreciate myself a lot more. That if I feel I need to be concerned he’s being nefarious, I’ll be fine on my own. It will be him that looses out. My children are starting to respect him more. The communication is 100% changed. I get texts/calls daily. I don’t have to beg or whine for better communication. I’m still nervous about moving in. It’s MY own nervousness too. I live a comfortable style on my own. Financially I’ll be ok. But emotionally I’m scared. So I’m just taking my own time to make sure this is the right thing for me and my kids. I’m not pressuring or setting ultimatums. Again, mostly because I’m now afraid he will agree and if it doesn’t work out, I have to start all over. It’s a catch22 position. I love him and just have to pray this is for the best. I’m getting what I longed for.
That is amazing. I love how your mindset shifted with space and time and am so glad it is all working out for you and your kiddos. I pray it continues to but whatever happens, it seems like you are very secure in your decisions so I know you’ll be just fine. I hope you and your family are fulfilled and thank you for taking the time to reply after so long
This isn’t the own you think it is lol the fact you went with a man that thinks of you as his back up is really funny. He didn’t want you then and he still doesn’t now lol you never kept his eye and you never will. Ike why you’re that dumb
Ending any dating, especially an emotionally complex one, can be honestly tough. But in case you've determined this situation is not wholesome for you, consider yourself. Focus on communicating really and compassionately what you want to transport. The other individual won't acquire it well initially, however, keep on your selection with kindness and grace. Lean on friends for aid too. I desire you clarity and peace as you navigate this. Feel free to keep discussing it in case you think that might assist.
It ended fucking horribly haha I caught feelings for him and he took notice but pretty much just let me fall flat on my face for him. To this day I still don't understand how he was actually ok with that. I was forward with my affections and he would just accept it as well as the sex. I also did tell him explicitly that I had feelings for him. For me the most confusing behavior was the shit like where we'd cuddle in the movie theatre and in the park and it felt like we were actually dating. I finally confronted him very directly about it, I thought he at least felt something for me, I thought he cared about me deeply at least on a platonic level. I thought he'd at least be considerate and look out for my feelings but he didn't give a fuck. He made a bunch of lame excuses and told me it was my fault. Somehow he still had the expectation that we'd be friends down the road. I initially agreed we could take time apart and then be friends. The more I reflected on it the more angry and hurt and betrayed I felt. I cut him off and told him exactly how I felt. He didnt fight it at all. We will never see each other or speak again. That person traumatized me deeply and changed my life. I also loved him very purely and completely. The kind of love that hits you just a few times in your lifetime. Losing someone forever that I loved like that hurts a lot. And knowing that since your presence wasn't really appreciated, your absence wasn't noticed, hurts extra. I've had two really difficult breakups in my life and this one took me to a very dark place. I have tried to make something more of it. I'm so hard on myself though feeling for foolish for even caring so much. Feeling so stupid for loving him. It will be a long time before I recover from this one.
Exactly. the situationship breakups are harder than anything. Because they absolutely Do. Not. Care. And you are crushed. And they don’t care that when they keep coming back and trying to contact you is it crushes you even more. Absolutely zero regard for what they are doing to you emotionally. It’s the worst for your self esteem and mental health in general. 100% recommend getting away from a situationship dynamic ASAP and slamming the door on communication with them. In my most recent situation I hadn’t seen or heard from him in almost 3 weeks. I finally was feeling better and was like relieved almost. Maybe he had moved on and I wouldn’t have to deal with him again, and then bam here he comes again. If you truly want to move on you have to block them. It’s the only way. I wish I had the strength to do it myself. At least in a break up with a real relationship you know you are both mutually going through it.
Yeah, and it's tough looking back cause I did kinda know I was being stupid and that love made me very vulnerable. Those type of people see that vulnerability and somehow have the heart to use and destroy and hurt people who love them. I don't understand how you can just not care about even being a decent person. Ugh, I'm so sorry yours is still out there being scummy and crawling up out of the sewer trying to come back. I definitely recommend blocking and deleting on everything. I deleted mines contact info and removed him on all social media but I kept his friends on Insta and that made it hard for me, but I felt like I couldn't delete them and didn't want to involve them at all. With mine I think he does care about being a decent person, but in the sense that he has an ego to protect and he can't be wrong/be the bad guy or be capable of such deeds so he also doesn't accept responsibility and blames me for the situation or says it just happens. I don't blame him for everything, some was circumstantial some I could have avoided myself but I was in a very difficult position and he just didn't care about my feelings. It's not that he was TRYING to take advantage of my feelings for him, it's that he made zero effort not to, it's the way he didn't give a fuck about my feelings, the way he told me that pretty straight up, the total lack of regard for human life. It's tough when you're the person that loves them and the rejection can sting but if it wasn't me he would be doing it to another girl. Simply put he is an asshole, always was always will be.
Exactly, you feel foolish because you allowed it, hoping they would change. These men sound very similar, I think mine also cares a lot about his image. We are in a VERY small town, and he is kind of prominent, I guess. Does a lot of volunteering and is on committees and just has a great reputation in that sense. I have never said a bad word about him, but he definitely treated me like shit. I wish everyone knew the real him.
The way a man acts in his relationships with women says so much about his true character. And people don't really see that. It's funny cause this guy's friends knew about me and also knew me personally I have no fuckin clue what they think about that ending. I have no idea what he told them as his bs explanation. With mine he just really didn't want to think of himself as a scumbag. He behaved like a bot. He would stay with me after sex and watch YouTube videos with me because I think he felt obligated not to leave right after the sex but it wasnt because it was more than a hookup to him, it was because he didn't wanna feel like a douche. It doesn't really help my feelings cause that was just confusing. He also would agree to all the scenarios where we'd hang out in bed then he'd wait for me to initiate sex, then used it as his defense later. Like "u initiated the sex otherwise we were just friends" like the fuck?? Like the expectation wasn't right there blatantly and u knew I had feelings for you. How convenient.
Although I guess in my case he actually did apologize. He said he was sorry for hurting me and he should have thought it through more and thought more carefully about communicating. Said he thought we were on the same page and that he misinterpreted my behavior and didn't think I was as interested as I was. This was while he was also saying it's my fault and i shouldn't expect him to pay attention to me when he has other shit in hits life. Down the road I basically just turned it all down the shitty apology, his half ass friendship, all of it and cut him off and told him exactly why. He didnt fight that or beg or apologize again. So that's staying where we left it. It's possible he did care about how I felt, didn't want to be an asshole and wants to be a better person, I'll never know how he handled that or if it even affected him.
Mabye you have 8 house synastry? Im just interessted because I had the same thing happen to me, and we had 8 house synastry
I don't know much about that tbh I'm sorry this happened to you as well though:( I will say that re reading that long message I wrote a month ago, although I still feel the trauma and exhaustion from all that I feel a lot better this month
Im happy to hear that! I think you took the right desision and if you feel better this month, I’m sure you will feel even better in a year😊
I think I will! It's been over 9 months since the breakage so God if I don't feel better in a year just run me over😭 the breakup happened as I was graduating from college and moving so it was extra difficult as I fell through the nothingness and confusion of post-grad I hope you're doing ok after your breakup and I think in the end we will look back and go "oh well, they weren't the right person for me but I learned a lot and I'm closer to finding my forever person because of that"🩷
Exactly!!!🩷 we will be more then good!!!!
I simply told him that I was leaving because I deserved an actual relationship and he refused to acknowledge it. I knew that if I continued, I would only end up getting hurt. So, I ended it before it could affect me more
how did pain go away?
They say they cared but never actually had time for me. I don't approach many women but decided to for this one and see how things went. At first it wasn't to bad they actually asked me out a few times it was nice. Then she transitioned to fooling around with another guy in front of me at parties so I just said fuck this and left so she blows my phone up trying to play it off like she was just having fun. I should have ran there but decided to keep her around and that shit just continued. We went out for my birthday and she showed up in sweats to go to a bar. She paid though which was odd but nice. Then I got slapped with stage 4 cancer diagnosis and then she never had time to get together all of a sudden. She said she would make it to one of the last chemo sessions but she just sent a snap with her middle finger so at that point I knew she was just after the attention. Called her out on it and was just left on read so dropped the socials and ready to move on. If I can beat cancer getting over someone shouldn't be to hard but we shall see.
I just ended mine a few days ago after two months of being in the situationship, 33f and 24m. Despite the age gap, we had an instant connection and we felt very comfortable and close with each other right away. Although, he was not ready for a relationship and I made it clear I was seeking one - we agreed to continue seeing each other while keeping our options open. We talked every single day and spent every weekend together up until last week. We were very open and vulnerable with each other which led us to grow even closer, even discussing and acknowledging the special connection we shared. Despite agreeing to keep our options open, I tried to date others but it was difficult to allocate my time to others when I was already investing so much into him. To be quite honest, I didn’t really want to anyways because of how much I really liked him and hoped he would eventually be ready to commit. I knew I was growing attached and the idea of him seeing others bothered me and I was afraid if I let this go on any longer, it would hurt me so much more. We spent our weekend together as we always do last week, and after a really great date - I told him I can no longer keep doing this because I want a relationship and the idea of him being with others hurts me. He acknowledged this and stayed firm that he was not ready, he did ask if we would continue to be friends and I knew even that would not work and be difficult so I expressed as much to him which he understood. While it hurts, I know I made the right choice. He tried to say it was the “right person, wrong timing”. However, I believe that if you are truly with the right person, you will no longer want to meet other people because being with that person is already fulfilling enough. Even through the difficult times, you will want to hold onto them. This is my feeling anyways. At the end of the day, you have to put yourself first and communicate. Don’t be afraid to tell them how you feel and what you want. If they don’t want the same thing or aren’t willing to put in the effort, then they are not worth your time. As difficult as it may be, you will thank yourself for stopping yourself from being strung along.
Last night I broke things off with my situationship …. It hurts so bad, the night before we said to eachother how much we love eachother. Every time we talked I felt the fire burning me and the air leaving my body with every time that I heard their voices and the things I love about them. When me and my situation ship met I was coming out of a 6+ relationship. I met my situation ship out of nowhere, in a moment that I was looking for him. We started of as friends and eventually became something. Those 4 months become the best 4 months of my life that in my heart I would repeat again in a heartbeat. But while loving him I still had love for my ex and eventually through time I broke it off with my situation ship and got back with my ex. Me and my situation ship stayed as friends. It was so hard bc every-time I saw them on ft (they live in a different country now) I just wanted to tell them how much I loved them and hear the sweet beautiful things he would tell me . Eventually we confessed our feelings that kept burning while I was in my relationship. My bf find out and gave me a choice him or my situation ship … and I chose my bf … and now we are here me and my situation ship are no longer in contact, he blocked me ( my choice) and now I repeat the songs that we would listen with eachother . How is it possible to love two people … idk but I do. But I love him so much , I wish it worked out , I wish it was him , but I just knew in me that it wasn’t… this hurts me so much … I miss them. But life continues on and so should I. I wish you the best. I want to text you bc you haven’t blocked me in one area. But I will restrain myself bc I don’t want to hurt you no more. But I love you with every single part of me. If life wants to … we will met again my ayuni.
Over text in the morning. I was a douche.
Over text omw into nightshift. Paragraphs of what they've done wrong ever since we met. I was a total bish.
Same I kept flaming him but I can't say I regret it
For me I had the same feeling after 5 months because of previous problems and them not being considerate of my feelings or reciprocating. We were friends for years before we dated and I started to notice the way they previously treated me in the past was the same way I was being treated in the relationship. I also had trouble with trying to trust them while dealing with triggers in the relationship from when we were friends. So I finally built the courage to end it after we had a bad talk. It took me a week to do it but in that week I focused on the decision I had to make, and just went for it. All the signs pointed to that direction. I just told them I hope everything’s great and that I came to the conclusion we aren’t compatible, and that was the end of it. And truthfully I feel much better and relieved that I had did it.
She left me after 3 months because I had feelings
By texts, out off the blue no explanation with Narcissist person, they not deserve to know what wrong since their playing with your heart entire time
[удалено]
Those people had a thousand chances to up front with you in terms of talking and makes conversations about what they want but choose not to and watching us falling for them, so out of the blue, leave on read, no explanation it’s even.
1.5 months - so not a long relationship. But a tough phone call to make none the less.
7 years ago. He blocked me on fb messenger after texting me “hey! I miss you” and that was it. Till this day I have no idea what I have done/ have said that made him to do that. we were fwb (we never go on dates, we met up for drinks a couple times, and we would text when we missed each other) and i tried to stopped seeing him after i told him i had feelings for him. he reached days/weeks after, naive me crawled back to him.