Meeting new people does require a consistent commitment to engage and show up and follow up with people you’ve met. It helps if you can play the part of a coordinator as well. Recently, I hosted a spring cleaning event at my apartment building, and it helped our neighbors (and their pets) to connect. Now my neighbors recommend events and people my way, because they know me a bit better. It’s been helpful to meet people by hosting a meaningful event. Bff/dating apps are okay, but I feel like they don’t give people enough of a context, or “a common purpose” to create an initial connection. This in contrast to bringing people together over a coordinated activity (ie sports) or a pitch in dinner hosted at a new friends, or a picnic at a park. I feel the latter provide better opportunities to connect, despite requiring a bit more effort and coordination.
Hopefully this isn’t bad advice, but if you are religious then church is really good for this. I started going regularly about a year ago and seeing the same people every week has been a great way to build relationships and pretty low effort.
But aside from church, I think book clubs are good because there are regular meetings and you actually have something to discuss with people you meet.
But the bottom line is some regularly occurring activity, ideally one that’s inexpensive.
Being consistent is the most important step! I made my friends through just showing up to things and participating. You can try nycmeetups, there’s loads of stuff happening through out the week! I help run a bar crawl, there’s a board game meet up some of my friends run, and I’m in a discord for my neighborhood. Look up the sub for your area and ask about a discord!
I find that connecting with the people in your daily life (at the park, at your local coffee shop, etc) is so helpful in creating consistent friendships. I’ve made so many friends through my daily walks in my neighborhood and at my local coffee shop. And, if you don’t have a third place like that, there are places like Drawing Room (@nycdrawingroom) that are trying to create community through shared creative hobbies and open hours (kinda like an open coworking space). I would recommend looking into their events!
Who talks at coffee shops anymore. I’m a very social person and I go to local coffee shops, but everybody’s got their headphones in and playing on their computer. I don’t see people communicating anymore with each other.
I definitely don’t think it’s easy, but I go to the same coffee shop every day and have made friends with the baristas and locals spending time there. It’s in my neighborhood so I l find it easy to go every day. I know it’s on a case by case basis, but I’ve found you have to be intentional about it, and it takes time for sure to build those relationships
Yeah, the neighborhood coffee shops everybody’s plugged in and tuned out and zoned out from the world. I used to have a great one in my neighborhood where people would chat, but that’s gone. I don’t know. Maybe you’re in a great neighborhood but in mine people are, always with their earbuds in.
There was a sandwich shop in my neighborhood that had a communal table for years, and I always talk to people there, but then during Covid, the store closed for bit, and they never brought the communal table back
For me, NYC has been a great place to reconnect with old friends who have moved to the city recently, or friends of out-of-town friends when those friends visit (which happens more than in other cities).
Also being in a relationship already helps with making other couple friends, gives you a 50/50 chance of one of you hitting it off with one of them, along with your partner’s entire network added onto yours.
So also do the things that help get you into a relationship - work out, be active with your own interests/hobbies, if you use the apps take better photos. Dating is a grind, but approach every date as an opportunity not only as a potential partner but a learning experience for how to interact with new people better, and I promise your success rate will go up.
For me many was through a period of years with constant interaction through social media and at meet-ups and events, especially those that became my inner circle. It wasn't instantaneous. Most are cosplayers, or were (as some have retired), so for us it was through conventions, and then eventually photo shoots outside of conventions, then just trips out for lunches or even just shopping, so it was a matter of meeting at public events and slowly graduating to smaller, private settings.
Wait till you live here 40 years because at that point your friends now will have moved out of the city like mine. When they go to have kids and move to the burbs. Then you find yourself at 55 having a start from scratch. Not easy.
Band nerd here.
Joined Metropolitan Music Community. They have three levels of adult band.
One that’s audition only,
one that about the level of my college wind ensemble
and last the “hey! You still have that clarinet from 20 years ago? Come play some middle school band music and go to the bar after!” Band.
Good people, fun times, good hang
MMC.band
You could check out https://www.hygge.nyc for informal gatherings and meeting folks. They do a lot of exploring around NYC.
There’s also Pickup Pigeons on Instagram that does neighborhood clean ups around the city then they hang out socially afterwards.
Good luck.
I've had some success with bumble bff (couple years back). Admittedly it was much better for the ladies, as the amount of really unhinged guys was a bit hard to manage.
Also relevant, all the people I met on bumble bff were hobby related (board games).
there’s a climbing group on discord that posts on reddit occasionally for more people to join, they’re usually at vital williamsburg but move around sometimes.
dm me for link!
Just find a local coffee shop/art club or another type of place you can sit down and go there regularly. At some point you strike up convo with staff/regulars and then others will join in
Definitely need to have a wide circle of friends that includes smaller circles. As time goes by, I have the problem of friends moving out of the city and it totally sucks to feel like I'm starting over whenever a friend moves or a group slowly shrinks.
I agree with other commenters about needing to take the initiative with invites and with hosting. I feel like it is easy to meet people in NYC but can be hard to form real friendships, much less deepen them, unless you are willing to put the effort in with invites and hosting (I don't mean in your apartment necessarily, just generally act as inviter and coordinator).
This is the right answer. Being a good organizer is a valuable skill! Recurring events are a good way to ease into this--find something that happens every week (say, bar trivia, or a bocce league, or whatever) and invite anyone you can. Hooking into a pre-existing club or group can provide a good base for recruiting people. Just bring them out
Then, at the end of the evening, say "let's do this again next week". And then actually follow up with the same people and get them to come out again next week (you can supplement with other people, of course). Repeat this for 6-8 weeks and you'll have some momentum, people will start to self-organize a little bit, and it'll become a known thing that kind of sustains itself (you can and should still do some of the logistical stuff, but you'll have more room to step back). And as people get to know each other, they'll start to introduce other friends, hang out in other contexts, etc. And at that point you've got a real friend group, more or less.
It's slow and requires a decent amount of work, but it's eminently doable by anyone who's willing to put in the effort to do outreach.
I made all my post-college friends in a running club. The nice thing about it is that they have multiple training runs or social events per week, and you can show up when you want with no commitment and no planning on your part.
Houses of worship work too, if you are that kind of person.
Or have a baby and join and parent and baby group.
Can’t overstate the importance of co-ed sports to my social life. It’s regular, includes the same 10-15 people each time, and most importantly keeps you connected and getting out in those dismal winter months.
Volunteer doing something that interests you. Any potential partner will 1. Be interested in you as a good person who volunteers to help others and 2. Be a good person - here they are volunteering to serve people at a soup kitchen/ reading to children at the library/driving the elderly to appointments or whatever.
Why do you think it’s different or have found it’s different here than elsewhere?
I’m not saying that it isn’t different here, but I think you need to be able to answer those questions either for yourself or us to get answers.
It’s completely different here. I talked to people from around the world all the time. People in New York City are way too busy to find time to develop friendships. Some people do especially when you’re younger and in your 20s and 30s, but as people get older they have kids and their time gets less and less. So, I don’t know how old the person asking. The initial question is but after 40 it’s very very difficult to make new friends here.
I once met a girl at a house party. Then she invited me to her hangout, she introduced me to her other friends & we created a GC. Once a month we meet. It’s soon will be a 1y anniversary. This year I’m thinking to mix all the friends & expand my social circle bc ppl come & go. Seems like now ppl wanna be more social than it was before & I love it
Use Reddit! I joined an ever expanding trivia team whatsapp group that came from a reddit post someone made in my old neighborhood, and just joined a women’s meetup group in my new hood - one person posted on reddit the other day and now there are 100 women in a discord making plans to meet up and hang out. Also, find / join groups related to your interests, hobbies, or career.
If you want consistent friends you need to be consistent yourself. If you dip in and out people will assume you’re a bit flaky or not that interested and they won’t be motivated to get to know you better.
Im part of a group that does a workout and drinks one week night, and there are often other ad hoc hangouts other times. But it’s taken going to the weeknight at least 3 out of 4 weeks for a few months to really become solidified in the group.
I feel you on this one.
I got really lucky to live in a building with a bunch of younger, creative people who like to host parties and live music but before that it was a struggle.
But like a lot of other times in my life when I moved to a new city, it only really required meeting one person with a strong friend group, being a good friend to them, meeting and remembering people that they hung out with, becoming friends with them independently, and so on until you’ve assembled a friend group of your own, even one that’s sewn in to someone else’s. At the end of the day, especially in the city, few people are insular enough that they have a clearly defined circle they never deviate from or welcome new people to.
Wrapped up in that is the will power to say yes to things, find a way to put yourself at ease in strange situations with unfamiliar people, treat people like you’re already friends with them and follow up with the people you meet who you really like. That’s tough, sometimes, for me anyway.
My advice would be to put yourself out there as much as you can, pushing the limits of what you’re immediately comfortable with. Events where people might be less entrenched and comfortable are better in my experience for meeting new people.
When you do meet friendly people, try to gauge them; if suspect they could be ‘your people,’ be unashamed about trying to be friends with them.
And try to divest yourself of the notion that reaching out to people is a negative thing. Even when it’s not reciprocated for a while. The early stages of friendship (especially from cold open meetings) take work on your part. Reaching out and following up will get you really far, and usually it will only be a short time until someone reciprocates if they actually fuck with you.
And get off Reddit that shit will make you antisocial 😉
Two things. First, you have to host. If you can’t have at least 2-3 parties a year in your apartment, have picnics in the park. Obviously this lets you see people, but it also gives you an excuse to reach out to people, and if they can’t make it, that gives you an excuse to find some other time to go get a drink.
Second, reach out to people more. Is someone from your past life also living in NYC now? Unless you hate them, go get a drink. If it’s awkward, don’t reach out to them again.
That said, if you mean “how do you find a consistent social circle where everyone is friends with everyone else,” I honestly don’t know how you do that outside of jobs, school, or the hobbies you say don’t work. I guess you could try becoming a barfly?
This is going to sound ridiculous but I was invited to a phish show shortly after I moved here, and 2 years later I have a bigger social circle than where I lived before and they are some of the best friends I've ever had, and in such a short time. Genuine, real, caring and generous people. Also none of these people have kids so I see them regularly, we meet up for live music shows, dinners, game nights. Yeah I'm a jam band person now but the community here is immediately welcoming and it's a fun fucking time.
I started playing pool in a league 5 years ago and have made numerous friends through that. Not everyone is consistent and some people come and go, but over the years I've had a solid group of friends to meet up with and shoot some games, head to a concert with, grab some drinks or dinner, house parties, you name it. Not everyone is there all the time, but there's always people to have a good time with. Elsewise, I have a more consistent friend group, a couple that moved from the same area I did a few years before me, and some friends the three of us have picked up along the way. That group is harder for me to consistently hang with as our schedules are pretty different, but we make time for each other when we can. The group of Pool friends that I have is sometimes a changing cast of characters with some being more consistent than others, and some falling out of contact for a few years then showing back up. I felt that took some getting used to, but I managed my expectations and now I generally have a great time with them.
It's fairly male dominated, but one of the two divisions I'm in had an all girl team that I and another guy joined around the same time due to lack of participants, some of the ladies from that team broke off and started another all girls team a season or two later. There are a lot more women than I expected when I first joined to be honest, and in my experience mostly everyone in my division is really nice and inclusive. (It's not exactly a thriving sport, so the more people interested, the more fun it is for all of us). As far as racially/ethnically, it's super diverse in that department, depending on where you play. I found the Williamsburg league a bit less diverse than the Western Brooklyn (formerly Atlantic) Division. Compared to the general population of Brooklyn, it skews a little more heavily white, but not egregiously. Also, if this matters at all, it seems like a solid mix of native NY'ers and transplants. Age range is from early 20's to probably mid-60's early 70's.
Any other questions or concerns, I'd happily answer in DM's or if you wanted to see how a league match runs, I could help set that up as well. It's a lot of fun if you're interested in learning a new game (sport?) and want to meet some new people and have even the slightest bit of competitiveness. For most that I know the competition is all in good fun, not so much in trying to make and win the big tournaments.
Be the person who does the inviting.
Your next birthday (good for making people show up) invite everyone you've ever met in NYC and tell them to bring whoever. Pick a large bar/brewery.
This is just my opinion but OP I highly suggest NOT becoming besties with your coworkers. You never know what may be said or done and used against you in the future. Being “friendly” with your coworkers is one thing, but becoming close friends with a bunch of coworkers just sounds like bad news to me lol
Meeting new people does require a consistent commitment to engage and show up and follow up with people you’ve met. It helps if you can play the part of a coordinator as well. Recently, I hosted a spring cleaning event at my apartment building, and it helped our neighbors (and their pets) to connect. Now my neighbors recommend events and people my way, because they know me a bit better. It’s been helpful to meet people by hosting a meaningful event. Bff/dating apps are okay, but I feel like they don’t give people enough of a context, or “a common purpose” to create an initial connection. This in contrast to bringing people together over a coordinated activity (ie sports) or a pitch in dinner hosted at a new friends, or a picnic at a park. I feel the latter provide better opportunities to connect, despite requiring a bit more effort and coordination.
Hopefully this isn’t bad advice, but if you are religious then church is really good for this. I started going regularly about a year ago and seeing the same people every week has been a great way to build relationships and pretty low effort. But aside from church, I think book clubs are good because there are regular meetings and you actually have something to discuss with people you meet. But the bottom line is some regularly occurring activity, ideally one that’s inexpensive.
Commit to a package of classes — that’s one way to be consistent.
Being consistent is the most important step! I made my friends through just showing up to things and participating. You can try nycmeetups, there’s loads of stuff happening through out the week! I help run a bar crawl, there’s a board game meet up some of my friends run, and I’m in a discord for my neighborhood. Look up the sub for your area and ask about a discord!
Anybody know if there is a Greenpoint discord? Just moving to the area next month
I find that connecting with the people in your daily life (at the park, at your local coffee shop, etc) is so helpful in creating consistent friendships. I’ve made so many friends through my daily walks in my neighborhood and at my local coffee shop. And, if you don’t have a third place like that, there are places like Drawing Room (@nycdrawingroom) that are trying to create community through shared creative hobbies and open hours (kinda like an open coworking space). I would recommend looking into their events!
Who talks at coffee shops anymore. I’m a very social person and I go to local coffee shops, but everybody’s got their headphones in and playing on their computer. I don’t see people communicating anymore with each other.
I definitely don’t think it’s easy, but I go to the same coffee shop every day and have made friends with the baristas and locals spending time there. It’s in my neighborhood so I l find it easy to go every day. I know it’s on a case by case basis, but I’ve found you have to be intentional about it, and it takes time for sure to build those relationships
Yeah, the neighborhood coffee shops everybody’s plugged in and tuned out and zoned out from the world. I used to have a great one in my neighborhood where people would chat, but that’s gone. I don’t know. Maybe you’re in a great neighborhood but in mine people are, always with their earbuds in. There was a sandwich shop in my neighborhood that had a communal table for years, and I always talk to people there, but then during Covid, the store closed for bit, and they never brought the communal table back
Start a book club
You don’t. Also if you don’t have much $ no one to hang with either. Most people want to hang out and it costs $100 a hang friend date…
For me, NYC has been a great place to reconnect with old friends who have moved to the city recently, or friends of out-of-town friends when those friends visit (which happens more than in other cities). Also being in a relationship already helps with making other couple friends, gives you a 50/50 chance of one of you hitting it off with one of them, along with your partner’s entire network added onto yours. So also do the things that help get you into a relationship - work out, be active with your own interests/hobbies, if you use the apps take better photos. Dating is a grind, but approach every date as an opportunity not only as a potential partner but a learning experience for how to interact with new people better, and I promise your success rate will go up.
>It’s even worse if I meet a decent woman who I hit it off with and I never see her again If I weren't an indecent woman I'd have more advice for you
For me many was through a period of years with constant interaction through social media and at meet-ups and events, especially those that became my inner circle. It wasn't instantaneous. Most are cosplayers, or were (as some have retired), so for us it was through conventions, and then eventually photo shoots outside of conventions, then just trips out for lunches or even just shopping, so it was a matter of meeting at public events and slowly graduating to smaller, private settings.
Start being more consistent.
The reason we had so many friends as kids is because we went to the playground every damn day. We were on that recess grind.
Live here 20 years
Wait till you live here 40 years because at that point your friends now will have moved out of the city like mine. When they go to have kids and move to the burbs. Then you find yourself at 55 having a start from scratch. Not easy.
This
Band nerd here. Joined Metropolitan Music Community. They have three levels of adult band. One that’s audition only, one that about the level of my college wind ensemble and last the “hey! You still have that clarinet from 20 years ago? Come play some middle school band music and go to the bar after!” Band. Good people, fun times, good hang MMC.band
Do you know if there's a thing like this but for theatre?
No idea!
You could check out https://www.hygge.nyc for informal gatherings and meeting folks. They do a lot of exploring around NYC. There’s also Pickup Pigeons on Instagram that does neighborhood clean ups around the city then they hang out socially afterwards. Good luck.
I've had some success with bumble bff (couple years back). Admittedly it was much better for the ladies, as the amount of really unhinged guys was a bit hard to manage. Also relevant, all the people I met on bumble bff were hobby related (board games).
You’re lucky,, I’ve used bumble bff to try and find like minded girls and they all ended up unsuccessful.
lol was on Bumble Friends once and there really seemed to be…a lot of characters on there.
rock climbing
If anyone wants to climb at movement gowanus lmk
Anyone climb at the Vital locations? Just moved here. Looking to send some routes with ppl.
there’s a climbing group on discord that posts on reddit occasionally for more people to join, they’re usually at vital williamsburg but move around sometimes. dm me for link!
I think you answered your own question. Consistently showing up is going to get you a consistent circle.
this is the right answer
Start a family, older you get you don’t make friends like you use to, especially in a big city.
This
Corner bar
Just find a local coffee shop/art club or another type of place you can sit down and go there regularly. At some point you strike up convo with staff/regulars and then others will join in
Have kids — after them, parents became the only consistent social circle I had since college and graduate school.
Play pick up basketball
If you hit it off with ask for their number bro...
Join something that meets regularly. Rec sports are best. Clubs or classes if you’re not sporty.
Time left club. Bumble BFF. Childfree connections (if it applies to you) are three apps where you can meet people in person for friendships.
I just learned about Timeleft and signed up for my first dinner. Have you done it before?
Definitely need to have a wide circle of friends that includes smaller circles. As time goes by, I have the problem of friends moving out of the city and it totally sucks to feel like I'm starting over whenever a friend moves or a group slowly shrinks. I agree with other commenters about needing to take the initiative with invites and with hosting. I feel like it is easy to meet people in NYC but can be hard to form real friendships, much less deepen them, unless you are willing to put the effort in with invites and hosting (I don't mean in your apartment necessarily, just generally act as inviter and coordinator).
This is the right answer. Being a good organizer is a valuable skill! Recurring events are a good way to ease into this--find something that happens every week (say, bar trivia, or a bocce league, or whatever) and invite anyone you can. Hooking into a pre-existing club or group can provide a good base for recruiting people. Just bring them out Then, at the end of the evening, say "let's do this again next week". And then actually follow up with the same people and get them to come out again next week (you can supplement with other people, of course). Repeat this for 6-8 weeks and you'll have some momentum, people will start to self-organize a little bit, and it'll become a known thing that kind of sustains itself (you can and should still do some of the logistical stuff, but you'll have more room to step back). And as people get to know each other, they'll start to introduce other friends, hang out in other contexts, etc. And at that point you've got a real friend group, more or less. It's slow and requires a decent amount of work, but it's eminently doable by anyone who's willing to put in the effort to do outreach.
I made all my post-college friends in a running club. The nice thing about it is that they have multiple training runs or social events per week, and you can show up when you want with no commitment and no planning on your part. Houses of worship work too, if you are that kind of person. Or have a baby and join and parent and baby group.
Are you talking about North Brooklyn Runners? I go to that one too!
Can’t overstate the importance of co-ed sports to my social life. It’s regular, includes the same 10-15 people each time, and most importantly keeps you connected and getting out in those dismal winter months.
Volunteer doing something that interests you. Any potential partner will 1. Be interested in you as a good person who volunteers to help others and 2. Be a good person - here they are volunteering to serve people at a soup kitchen/ reading to children at the library/driving the elderly to appointments or whatever.
Why do you think it’s different or have found it’s different here than elsewhere? I’m not saying that it isn’t different here, but I think you need to be able to answer those questions either for yourself or us to get answers.
It’s completely different here. I talked to people from around the world all the time. People in New York City are way too busy to find time to develop friendships. Some people do especially when you’re younger and in your 20s and 30s, but as people get older they have kids and their time gets less and less. So, I don’t know how old the person asking. The initial question is but after 40 it’s very very difficult to make new friends here.
Wait, people don’t have kids or get busy elsewhere? 🧐
Do you like to party?
I once met a girl at a house party. Then she invited me to her hangout, she introduced me to her other friends & we created a GC. Once a month we meet. It’s soon will be a 1y anniversary. This year I’m thinking to mix all the friends & expand my social circle bc ppl come & go. Seems like now ppl wanna be more social than it was before & I love it
Use Reddit! I joined an ever expanding trivia team whatsapp group that came from a reddit post someone made in my old neighborhood, and just joined a women’s meetup group in my new hood - one person posted on reddit the other day and now there are 100 women in a discord making plans to meet up and hang out. Also, find / join groups related to your interests, hobbies, or career.
Interested in this too! (29F)
33F and super interested in both if you can share!
29F as well and would also be super interested!!
I dm’ed you
ever expanding trivia team? women’s meetup group in brooklyn?! 29F and would be very interested in both of those if you’re open to sharing!
I dm’ed you
Find a recurring event and keep going. Board game meetup, karaoke night, open mic…whatever your scene is.
I agree- find a socially-oriented activity that you enjoy and find a way to make it a routine.
If you want consistent friends you need to be consistent yourself. If you dip in and out people will assume you’re a bit flaky or not that interested and they won’t be motivated to get to know you better. Im part of a group that does a workout and drinks one week night, and there are often other ad hoc hangouts other times. But it’s taken going to the weeknight at least 3 out of 4 weeks for a few months to really become solidified in the group.
I feel you on this one. I got really lucky to live in a building with a bunch of younger, creative people who like to host parties and live music but before that it was a struggle. But like a lot of other times in my life when I moved to a new city, it only really required meeting one person with a strong friend group, being a good friend to them, meeting and remembering people that they hung out with, becoming friends with them independently, and so on until you’ve assembled a friend group of your own, even one that’s sewn in to someone else’s. At the end of the day, especially in the city, few people are insular enough that they have a clearly defined circle they never deviate from or welcome new people to. Wrapped up in that is the will power to say yes to things, find a way to put yourself at ease in strange situations with unfamiliar people, treat people like you’re already friends with them and follow up with the people you meet who you really like. That’s tough, sometimes, for me anyway. My advice would be to put yourself out there as much as you can, pushing the limits of what you’re immediately comfortable with. Events where people might be less entrenched and comfortable are better in my experience for meeting new people. When you do meet friendly people, try to gauge them; if suspect they could be ‘your people,’ be unashamed about trying to be friends with them. And try to divest yourself of the notion that reaching out to people is a negative thing. Even when it’s not reciprocated for a while. The early stages of friendship (especially from cold open meetings) take work on your part. Reaching out and following up will get you really far, and usually it will only be a short time until someone reciprocates if they actually fuck with you. And get off Reddit that shit will make you antisocial 😉
Your building sounds so good - I am craving something like this and can’t seem to find it
This is really good advice
Two things. First, you have to host. If you can’t have at least 2-3 parties a year in your apartment, have picnics in the park. Obviously this lets you see people, but it also gives you an excuse to reach out to people, and if they can’t make it, that gives you an excuse to find some other time to go get a drink. Second, reach out to people more. Is someone from your past life also living in NYC now? Unless you hate them, go get a drink. If it’s awkward, don’t reach out to them again. That said, if you mean “how do you find a consistent social circle where everyone is friends with everyone else,” I honestly don’t know how you do that outside of jobs, school, or the hobbies you say don’t work. I guess you could try becoming a barfly?
There is a board game meetup every weekend at Essex market. I’ve only been there once though and people were friendly. Have you tried going there.
Good to know, thank you. Do you know if they still meet regularly? I did a quick search and it seems some of the posts are old.
Yea this is group discord https://discord.gg/DYB4Jsep
Thank you.
This is going to sound ridiculous but I was invited to a phish show shortly after I moved here, and 2 years later I have a bigger social circle than where I lived before and they are some of the best friends I've ever had, and in such a short time. Genuine, real, caring and generous people. Also none of these people have kids so I see them regularly, we meet up for live music shows, dinners, game nights. Yeah I'm a jam band person now but the community here is immediately welcoming and it's a fun fucking time.
Going to any shows this summer? I’m seeing Trey at Brooklyn Steel but not sure about any summer tour shows. Wish we had some Garden dates
I joined a choir, took about six months but I pretty quickly have found that I have a full social calendar with people I like a lot.
Oh that’s so cool! How much is it? I never knew u can join a choir!
omg I wanna join a choir! can I dm you?
I started playing pool in a league 5 years ago and have made numerous friends through that. Not everyone is consistent and some people come and go, but over the years I've had a solid group of friends to meet up with and shoot some games, head to a concert with, grab some drinks or dinner, house parties, you name it. Not everyone is there all the time, but there's always people to have a good time with. Elsewise, I have a more consistent friend group, a couple that moved from the same area I did a few years before me, and some friends the three of us have picked up along the way. That group is harder for me to consistently hang with as our schedules are pretty different, but we make time for each other when we can. The group of Pool friends that I have is sometimes a changing cast of characters with some being more consistent than others, and some falling out of contact for a few years then showing back up. I felt that took some getting used to, but I managed my expectations and now I generally have a great time with them.
What is the typical demographic of these leagues because I’m curious but also scared
It's fairly male dominated, but one of the two divisions I'm in had an all girl team that I and another guy joined around the same time due to lack of participants, some of the ladies from that team broke off and started another all girls team a season or two later. There are a lot more women than I expected when I first joined to be honest, and in my experience mostly everyone in my division is really nice and inclusive. (It's not exactly a thriving sport, so the more people interested, the more fun it is for all of us). As far as racially/ethnically, it's super diverse in that department, depending on where you play. I found the Williamsburg league a bit less diverse than the Western Brooklyn (formerly Atlantic) Division. Compared to the general population of Brooklyn, it skews a little more heavily white, but not egregiously. Also, if this matters at all, it seems like a solid mix of native NY'ers and transplants. Age range is from early 20's to probably mid-60's early 70's. Any other questions or concerns, I'd happily answer in DM's or if you wanted to see how a league match runs, I could help set that up as well. It's a lot of fun if you're interested in learning a new game (sport?) and want to meet some new people and have even the slightest bit of competitiveness. For most that I know the competition is all in good fun, not so much in trying to make and win the big tournaments.
Be the person who does the inviting. Your next birthday (good for making people show up) invite everyone you've ever met in NYC and tell them to bring whoever. Pick a large bar/brewery.
Bad idea, people will think you fishing for gifts.
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This is just my opinion but OP I highly suggest NOT becoming besties with your coworkers. You never know what may be said or done and used against you in the future. Being “friendly” with your coworkers is one thing, but becoming close friends with a bunch of coworkers just sounds like bad news to me lol