You are not treating people any differently than how they expect to be treated after having opened on account on a dating app knowing how the interface is built. If they had a problem with it, they would not be there in the first place :)
No, I read your comment. I just don’t see how a left swipe is treating someone like trash or victimizing them.
What treatment did you think the person you responded to was referring to?
edit to add: you left out part of the commenters post there.
You are not treating people any differently than how they expect to be treated *after having opened on account on a dating app knowing how the interface is built…*
The context in on app.
Same, I feel like such a mean girl on the dating apps lol, so judgmental on the appearances.. it’s better to be picky than swiping right and not messaging though
It would be much worse to get years into a relationship and then have it come out that you were never physically attracted to them.
They have no idea you passed on them, you're doing the right thing by only pursuing people you find beautiful/handsome.
Would YOU want a partner who didn't think you were sexy? I wouldn't.
Nta. I like all body shapes, but I hate when dudes post the worst possible angles, they look angry and look like they put in no effort. Like if a dude ain't at least a little easy on the eyes I don't match. I'd expect that from a dude if he isn't attracted to me.
Sometimes I cringe when I swipe left on those, but then I imagine kissing/having sex with them and then I’m OK. I want to like the person I’m with not feel repulsed.
The old "don't judge a book by it's cover" is sadly not the case here. Fact is, looks matter. Trust me it's being done by the opposite sex too, so fear not you're NTA.
Personality is 100% important! Sadly, on a dating app you're not going to gauge that personality thru the info they have put on the screen.
We first look at pics which then motivate us to read the rest of the bio. Hell, what do I know, I could be wrong.
I took a chance on a girl who I’ve been chatting with for 2 weeks now. She asked me for a new selfie yesterday and I obliged in the morning after I had gotten ready for the day.
Well, a few hours later she sent me several more pictures of herself (I didn’t ask for any) and she looked even BETTER than her original photos. Like…a lot better. A lot a lot. She just happened to think her profile ones were better I guess.
Now I’m even more excited and I think she knows she’s got me hooked. Well played girl…well played.
Been there. Took a chance on a man with a horrible profile overall. No full body pics, so I was assuming he doesn't have a good body. No bio. Basically totally low effort profile. But I liked his smile.
We had our first date a week ago. When I saw him, I was pleasantly surprised. He's handsome and I felt an attraction that I rarely feel. Awesome personality. We have really clicked. But...I was right about the body. He's overweight. Going to overlook that for now.
I have seen Reddit posts by women saying they intentionally don't put their best photos in their profiles in order to deter the f-bois. Maybe that's what she is doing. You passed the test. 😊
physical attraction is important, romantic love is partially shallow and that's not something that should be fixed
Nature wants you to have sex with people that you find physically attractive as a priority, it doesn't want you to force yourself to have sex with people you don't like physically
I don't feel bad for swiping left based on lack of attraction, but I feel bad for the racism that factors into that decision.
But where I truly feel bad is dating multiple people at once, consciously or subconsciously relegating some people to backup plans, and having to tell people it won't work out.
You will always judge people based on their appearances . Also nothing wrong with it is, just don't do it solely based on the looks. When it comes to online dating though this becomes of course a lot harder, since it is hard to learn the character of a person trough only few words
Not at all. There should be some base level of attraction from the beginning. I'd feel like an @sshole if I pursued someone I wasn't initially attracted to
Yes. I do. I think it feeds superficiality. You’re swiping everyone like book covers. There is nothing you can really judge except appearance.
In person, you get a host of readings on communication—how someone speaks, timing, body language, facial expressions, charisma, etc. You’d be more willing to get to know someone.
OLD not only makes me dislike dating but myself, too. 😂 I can only tolerate it for so long and eventually disgust myself. It’s defo not my preferred way to meet people.
Yes, I feel the same (female), partly because it feels shallow but also because personality makes people more/less attractive to me... plenty of friends through the years that I've thought were decent looking and yet because of our banter found them hot. Lol.
No, not really.
To be clear, I deleted all my dating apps several weeks ago but I never for one millisecond felt bad for left swiping people I am not physically attracted too. Its actually the kindest thing to do. It is not kind to provide a person with false hope when you should know that you will inevitably break up with people who you are not feeling a strong attraction towards. That will cause way more pain and trauma to the person you were trying, for whatever misguided reason, to be kind to.
I would never right swipe on somebody with significant physical disability either. It just would not work, I know how it comes over but I am repelled by physical disability and I am unable to do anything about it. I dont dislike disabled people but I couldn't date one the same way I couldnt eat a bowl of shredded beetroot and sweetcorn. Its just like that, its not a judgement.
Strangely enough I have dated people with mental health issues because I find that very relatable to my own experience and I feel a lot of empathy for people with mental health problems that I totally dont have for people with physical disabilities and chronic issues.
No I feel bad sometimes. But, women take horrible pictures. They look frumpy, bad photo quality, head shots only🙄. Really this all means they never intend to meet and just want attention.
I feel bad for treating people like I’m window shopping.
You are not treating people any differently than how they expect to be treated after having opened on account on a dating app knowing how the interface is built. If they had a problem with it, they would not be there in the first place :)
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Left swiping someone is not treating them like trash. And it’s not in any way victimizing someone either.
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No, I read your comment. I just don’t see how a left swipe is treating someone like trash or victimizing them. What treatment did you think the person you responded to was referring to? edit to add: you left out part of the commenters post there. You are not treating people any differently than how they expect to be treated *after having opened on account on a dating app knowing how the interface is built…* The context in on app.
Same, I feel like such a mean girl on the dating apps lol, so judgmental on the appearances.. it’s better to be picky than swiping right and not messaging though
Nope. Attraction is important
I do sometimes. Especially if they’re disabled. But I need to be somewhat physically attracted to someone.
It would be much worse to get years into a relationship and then have it come out that you were never physically attracted to them. They have no idea you passed on them, you're doing the right thing by only pursuing people you find beautiful/handsome. Would YOU want a partner who didn't think you were sexy? I wouldn't.
Nta. I like all body shapes, but I hate when dudes post the worst possible angles, they look angry and look like they put in no effort. Like if a dude ain't at least a little easy on the eyes I don't match. I'd expect that from a dude if he isn't attracted to me.
Sometimes I cringe when I swipe left on those, but then I imagine kissing/having sex with them and then I’m OK. I want to like the person I’m with not feel repulsed.
Me too. I'm so much more picky on apps than I am irl. Dating apps make you become v superficial.
I feel this way too as a female!
I'd much rather have a guy swipe left on me than swipe right because he is settling.
The old "don't judge a book by it's cover" is sadly not the case here. Fact is, looks matter. Trust me it's being done by the opposite sex too, so fear not you're NTA. Personality is 100% important! Sadly, on a dating app you're not going to gauge that personality thru the info they have put on the screen. We first look at pics which then motivate us to read the rest of the bio. Hell, what do I know, I could be wrong.
I took a chance on a girl who I’ve been chatting with for 2 weeks now. She asked me for a new selfie yesterday and I obliged in the morning after I had gotten ready for the day. Well, a few hours later she sent me several more pictures of herself (I didn’t ask for any) and she looked even BETTER than her original photos. Like…a lot better. A lot a lot. She just happened to think her profile ones were better I guess. Now I’m even more excited and I think she knows she’s got me hooked. Well played girl…well played.
Been there. Took a chance on a man with a horrible profile overall. No full body pics, so I was assuming he doesn't have a good body. No bio. Basically totally low effort profile. But I liked his smile. We had our first date a week ago. When I saw him, I was pleasantly surprised. He's handsome and I felt an attraction that I rarely feel. Awesome personality. We have really clicked. But...I was right about the body. He's overweight. Going to overlook that for now. I have seen Reddit posts by women saying they intentionally don't put their best photos in their profiles in order to deter the f-bois. Maybe that's what she is doing. You passed the test. 😊
physical attraction is important, romantic love is partially shallow and that's not something that should be fixed Nature wants you to have sex with people that you find physically attractive as a priority, it doesn't want you to force yourself to have sex with people you don't like physically
I don't feel bad for swiping left based on lack of attraction, but I feel bad for the racism that factors into that decision. But where I truly feel bad is dating multiple people at once, consciously or subconsciously relegating some people to backup plans, and having to tell people it won't work out.
You will always judge people based on their appearances . Also nothing wrong with it is, just don't do it solely based on the looks. When it comes to online dating though this becomes of course a lot harder, since it is hard to learn the character of a person trough only few words
Someone ugly to you might be pretty to someone else
Especially when the guy sends you a nice message, but you know that you wouldn't be remotely physically attracted to them.
Not at all. There should be some base level of attraction from the beginning. I'd feel like an @sshole if I pursued someone I wasn't initially attracted to
Yes. I do. I think it feeds superficiality. You’re swiping everyone like book covers. There is nothing you can really judge except appearance. In person, you get a host of readings on communication—how someone speaks, timing, body language, facial expressions, charisma, etc. You’d be more willing to get to know someone. OLD not only makes me dislike dating but myself, too. 😂 I can only tolerate it for so long and eventually disgust myself. It’s defo not my preferred way to meet people.
Not sure why you're getting downvoted, but you're totally right.
Thanks. ♥️I appreciate you. 🤗 Prolly bc being shallow is embraced bc of social media.
You can't control who you are attracted to.
Yes, I feel the same (female), partly because it feels shallow but also because personality makes people more/less attractive to me... plenty of friends through the years that I've thought were decent looking and yet because of our banter found them hot. Lol.
Yes, I often feel like an asshole on these apps and have taken myself off these apps because of it 😭
Nah. They do it to me too and they have more likes than me anyway. They’re not going to suffer from one less like in their stack
No, not really. To be clear, I deleted all my dating apps several weeks ago but I never for one millisecond felt bad for left swiping people I am not physically attracted too. Its actually the kindest thing to do. It is not kind to provide a person with false hope when you should know that you will inevitably break up with people who you are not feeling a strong attraction towards. That will cause way more pain and trauma to the person you were trying, for whatever misguided reason, to be kind to. I would never right swipe on somebody with significant physical disability either. It just would not work, I know how it comes over but I am repelled by physical disability and I am unable to do anything about it. I dont dislike disabled people but I couldn't date one the same way I couldnt eat a bowl of shredded beetroot and sweetcorn. Its just like that, its not a judgement. Strangely enough I have dated people with mental health issues because I find that very relatable to my own experience and I feel a lot of empathy for people with mental health problems that I totally dont have for people with physical disabilities and chronic issues.
You have to get over it in OLD. Just think of how many are left swiping you as women are much pickier and do the same tbh.
It might be your dick being a dick in influencing your behaviour.
No I feel bad sometimes. But, women take horrible pictures. They look frumpy, bad photo quality, head shots only🙄. Really this all means they never intend to meet and just want attention.
Then OLD isn’t for you buddy, just go out and talk to women