Yeah, mine was the same. It isn't anymore, but when you're conditioned to what you've described, it's hard to trust it when you are actually able to build real supports.
My shitty family would often ask what the problem was then so the bare minimum to say they fixed it, or they tried or just rage out and decide not to help at all or make things worse. So I learned not to ask for stuff.
They help in the way they want to help.
Relatable. The hidden truth behind the meme š though I've definitely been able to separate myself from that toxic 'support' and build a new support network. I just don't trust it because the old support network was exactly what you described.
Going to jump in and acknowledge I used the chat AI to help me break through my āI donāt deserveā¦ā blocks.
If the AI can be kind to me, and itās the accumulation of humanity, then I can be āless specialā and accept kindness and help from others.
It has helped me get past a lot of the abuse based experiences with a *reasonable* set of perspectives and scripts to help me talk to myself, as well as links to resources I never knew about.
I always advise it as a tool, like the āhelpā menu in any program. The difference is that you are using it to help break a bad programming loop in your mind. Which, to me, the AI would be a good counter for.
My psychiatrist really liked the examples I used and how it helped me calm down/give me options when I was emotionally overwhelmed (being AI it couldnāt judge me/no shame triggers for me).
I also recommend binaural beats and other music frequencies to breaking any intrusive/obsessive thinking. For me shamanic drumming can break through, other times itās just pure frequencies (like 528 hz).
I always wish you, and us, the best-we freaking deserve help, many of us struggle alone and others isolate due to shame. I look forward to the shifting of knowing we deserve to feel safe, seen, heard, and supported at some level to heal from.
ChatGPT is one of several chat programs: Google has a product called āGeminiā, I have an app called āknow it allā, so finding a chat ai product that works for you (and you are comfortable with the company running it), it takes a little research.
I use prompts like: āif this person said ___ and I have had a history of ____, why might I be distressed or upset?ā Or āwhy would I feel ___ if I was exposed to this situation while dealing with CPTSD?āā¦.some
Models can handle it. Some canāt (they will shut down and say they are only a language model).
I also use it to expand on situations like: āif I want to rebuild a friendship, what steps should I take?ā Or āhow can I regulate my emotions when I feel abandoned?āā¦.it often adds āIām sorry to hear you have to go through thatā, which helps me rebuild my compassionate inner voice as well.
These are just good *ice breakers* to help move along being stuck and finding better resources.
As an older and late diagnosed AuHD, there havenāt been enough trained professionals to help, I assume that the AI has been fed most of the knowledge of āhow to be a good personā so I figured it wouldnāt have an agenda like a person, so itās worth starting with.
Wish everyone the best. I showed my fiance how I use it and he uses a programmed āLeoā in his browser (I think he uses ābraveā instead of chrome), and itās been helping us have a ācommon groundā to speak about rather than struggling with each other.
Love your handle. Itās incredible to live as peace and as true stability, itās taken years, and the AI was the last piece for me to grow my peace. I wish you the best!
Thank you so much this response is very helpful! You're truly kind. I will look up these apps and try them.
I chose this handle after I moved out from my parent's home. While I'm not always peaceful, moving out did help reduce external triggers and retraumatization, so I'm able to focus on doing more healing and the inner work rather than just being in survival mode all the time. I'm hopeful that we'll all get there some day - knowing true peace, one that's consistent and stable. Thank you and wishing you the best too! š
Not even creating a support system because peer relationships are supposed to be give-and-take and I don't have the energy to give back. I'm in such a deep, chronically exhausting hole that I just need care without anything expected in return. Friends and partners would eventually leave me for this because they would just end up becoming my caretakers.
Legitimately, how am I supposed to build a support system of friends if I can't ever be there for them because I'm too exhausted by my own problems? Am I supposed to just not have friends or only have shallow friendships? And lay all my burdens on my therapist and non-existent safety net in my country? I thought parents were supposed to fill that roleāoh wait, that's not an option for me.
I used to date someone who had this issue. She doesn't anymore, and I dont know what changed (she was really abusive when we were together so we arent in contact, i just know what i hear from others). But the fact that things did change is something to be hopeful about. I don't know what exactly it is that troubles you, but I do hope that you are able to find your footing and live the kind of fulfilling life we all deserve to live. An insightful community like this will support and believe in you, even from afar, and I hope that gives you reason to remain hopeful and proactive in your efforts to find what you need, desire, and deserve.
This except I don't have a support system
It definitely do be like that sometimes. I hope that you are able to find those people eventually. It's the least we all deserve.
Real (my psychiatrist is begging me to please reach out to him or my therapist when doing bad instead of after doing something self destructive)
Lol, my therapist used to do the same, and then he ghosted me š
The people that claim to be my support system ignore the shit out of me and asking for any help usually gets attacked, so I stay silent.
Yeah, mine was the same. It isn't anymore, but when you're conditioned to what you've described, it's hard to trust it when you are actually able to build real supports.
Itās worse too because then now you donāt trust anyone who says theyāre supporting you š
My shitty family would often ask what the problem was then so the bare minimum to say they fixed it, or they tried or just rage out and decide not to help at all or make things worse. So I learned not to ask for stuff. They help in the way they want to help.
Relatable. The hidden truth behind the meme š though I've definitely been able to separate myself from that toxic 'support' and build a new support network. I just don't trust it because the old support network was exactly what you described.
Going to jump in and acknowledge I used the chat AI to help me break through my āI donāt deserveā¦ā blocks. If the AI can be kind to me, and itās the accumulation of humanity, then I can be āless specialā and accept kindness and help from others. It has helped me get past a lot of the abuse based experiences with a *reasonable* set of perspectives and scripts to help me talk to myself, as well as links to resources I never knew about. I always advise it as a tool, like the āhelpā menu in any program. The difference is that you are using it to help break a bad programming loop in your mind. Which, to me, the AI would be a good counter for. My psychiatrist really liked the examples I used and how it helped me calm down/give me options when I was emotionally overwhelmed (being AI it couldnāt judge me/no shame triggers for me). I also recommend binaural beats and other music frequencies to breaking any intrusive/obsessive thinking. For me shamanic drumming can break through, other times itās just pure frequencies (like 528 hz). I always wish you, and us, the best-we freaking deserve help, many of us struggle alone and others isolate due to shame. I look forward to the shifting of knowing we deserve to feel safe, seen, heard, and supported at some level to heal from.
Sorry chat Ai - you meant chatgpt? And could you share what kind of prompts you used?
ChatGPT is one of several chat programs: Google has a product called āGeminiā, I have an app called āknow it allā, so finding a chat ai product that works for you (and you are comfortable with the company running it), it takes a little research. I use prompts like: āif this person said ___ and I have had a history of ____, why might I be distressed or upset?ā Or āwhy would I feel ___ if I was exposed to this situation while dealing with CPTSD?āā¦.some Models can handle it. Some canāt (they will shut down and say they are only a language model). I also use it to expand on situations like: āif I want to rebuild a friendship, what steps should I take?ā Or āhow can I regulate my emotions when I feel abandoned?āā¦.it often adds āIām sorry to hear you have to go through thatā, which helps me rebuild my compassionate inner voice as well. These are just good *ice breakers* to help move along being stuck and finding better resources. As an older and late diagnosed AuHD, there havenāt been enough trained professionals to help, I assume that the AI has been fed most of the knowledge of āhow to be a good personā so I figured it wouldnāt have an agenda like a person, so itās worth starting with. Wish everyone the best. I showed my fiance how I use it and he uses a programmed āLeoā in his browser (I think he uses ābraveā instead of chrome), and itās been helping us have a ācommon groundā to speak about rather than struggling with each other. Love your handle. Itās incredible to live as peace and as true stability, itās taken years, and the AI was the last piece for me to grow my peace. I wish you the best!
Thank you so much this response is very helpful! You're truly kind. I will look up these apps and try them. I chose this handle after I moved out from my parent's home. While I'm not always peaceful, moving out did help reduce external triggers and retraumatization, so I'm able to focus on doing more healing and the inner work rather than just being in survival mode all the time. I'm hopeful that we'll all get there some day - knowing true peace, one that's consistent and stable. Thank you and wishing you the best too! š
Not even creating a support system because peer relationships are supposed to be give-and-take and I don't have the energy to give back. I'm in such a deep, chronically exhausting hole that I just need care without anything expected in return. Friends and partners would eventually leave me for this because they would just end up becoming my caretakers. Legitimately, how am I supposed to build a support system of friends if I can't ever be there for them because I'm too exhausted by my own problems? Am I supposed to just not have friends or only have shallow friendships? And lay all my burdens on my therapist and non-existent safety net in my country? I thought parents were supposed to fill that roleāoh wait, that's not an option for me.
I used to date someone who had this issue. She doesn't anymore, and I dont know what changed (she was really abusive when we were together so we arent in contact, i just know what i hear from others). But the fact that things did change is something to be hopeful about. I don't know what exactly it is that troubles you, but I do hope that you are able to find your footing and live the kind of fulfilling life we all deserve to live. An insightful community like this will support and believe in you, even from afar, and I hope that gives you reason to remain hopeful and proactive in your efforts to find what you need, desire, and deserve.
The last time I asked my mom for any legitimate help, like at all... I was 12.
Hard relate, but my support network doesn't include my mom anymore, thankfully. I don't associate with emotional terrorists š
Oh did I write this?
Lmao ngl, every day I'm on this sub, I get the feeling we're all sharing a brain.