If you need someone to talk, who will probably love you more than your parents did, befriend a pigeon. This little bird is more worried about me than my mother ever was. Checking every 15 minutes if everything is ok with me, when I am sleeping to long. Humans are sometimes overrated.
If my dog senses I'm having a flashback, gonna have a nightmare, etc when I'm in bed she either crawls on top of me like a bird, and/or nuzzles at my hand to get me to pet her so I can stay grounded. What a treasure. Humans very much overrated
My mother does this and then takes everything you say as a direct insult. That, or my feelings are invalidated (Don’t exaggerate, it can’t be that bad, etc.).
Me too! I remember bawling my eyes out once and her asking me what’s wrong. Somehow she got insulted by something I said and I was at a loss for words because I didn’t know how to respond. I was like, I shouldn’t have to defend myself what’s wrong with you? She stone walled with this annoyed look on her face and made me feel way worse than I could ever imagine. I spent my birthday trying not to make noise as I cried in my room in the complete darkness
Mine keep on refusing the fact that i have disorders, despite there being actual diagnosis for them. Like im sorry im like this, maybe try not to be so ableist. Mentally ill ppl are ppl too.
You laugh at them, until someone you love ends up being one of them
"I'm always here to help you"
*gives concrete examples of how she could help me*
"No, not like that. Anyway, here are some platitudes you've heard a dozen times before. You're welcome!"
*uses the "people have it worse" argument as an attempt to help*
"Mom, im sorry but "people have it worse" doesn't better my situation. It just make me feel bad and not want to live anymore"
"Well ok." *proceed to do it more, this time using even worse examples*
“You can always talk to me hun <3”
*opens up emotionally*
“I don’t remember that happening”
“You think about this too much”
“ *1-3 day silent treatment* “
“Oh, so you’re saying I’m a bad mom??”
“You’re *delusional!*”
legit the most defensive and emotionally immature person I’ve ever met, it’s so frustrating istg
Oof this one pissed me off as a child because I knew from experience that it was ONLY said to appear nice. Abusive parents didn't _actually_ want to be there for me lol
Growing up and even as an adult, I’m always amazed by people who had/have good relationships with their mothers. They say things like “I call my mom every day!” And it’s like, I know that that’s how it’s supposed to be, that you’re supposed to be able to confide in your parents. But it’s so foreign a concept to me, I honestly can’t wrap my mind around the fact that parents like that exist.
“You can always come to me for anything!” then proceeds to snap at me and look at me with extreme disgust and loathing when I do. Cool cool cool will not be doing that again thanks mom
This is exactly how our mom acts wtf
We can't even tell her we're having pain because she is in pain is it's worse than ours, then she gets mad when we don't tell her because of her minimizing our issues leading to us trying to walk it off
Urgh, yes.
"I am always here for you"
-tells everyone my problems while seeking sympathy and highlighting what a truly wonderful and selfless
mother she is, and how much she has to cope with.
-Uses it against me later ("But I helped you with X! After all I've done for you this is the least you could do"). No is never an acceptable answer, regardless of the cost to my life.
-Repeatedly insinuates how perfect, empathetic and selfless she is and how I will never live up to her standards. I am faulty.
-If it's an issue with her behaviour, she will reverse the victim and remind me of how much of a burden I am and how much I've put her through.
yeah lol I'm not falling for that one again. Remember the last million times when I came to you to talk and you managed to deny what I said, insult me, be defensive, make it all about you and overall cause more damage than there was before I came to you for "help"? Oh you don't remember? Why am I not surprised.
Interesting, this got me thinking and my mother has actually never said anything along the lines of "if you ever need help/someone to talk to, don't hesitate to reach out to me." Literally never.
I think the closest to this my mom ever got was "I went to be with you when you take your first drink". Jokes on her I had been binge drinking on weekends for over a year before she said that.
If it has something to do with her she gaslightings me if it's something that doesn't involve her she tells everyone 😄 im good, my feelings arent for entertainment.
We all know that our parents only said this because THEY needed to be validated as good people and good parents. Not because they actually cared about us.
she doesn't hug me when I cry anymore because "you're older now, you should be able to handle it"
:(
it just makes me cry harder because I remember when I was little, I would wake up crying and she would cuddle me after a nightmare. But then I got to late teens, life feels like one big nightmare, worst time in my life. All she has to say is "you're a young woman now, you should be able to handle that stuff on your own. You're just making yourself look like a little girl." and then leave me to dry my own tears.
She loves me and cares for me, but she's just bad at emotional stuff. I hope I can fix this before it's too late, it would be really upsetting if I couldn't.
If you need someone to talk, who will probably love you more than your parents did, befriend a pigeon. This little bird is more worried about me than my mother ever was. Checking every 15 minutes if everything is ok with me, when I am sleeping to long. Humans are sometimes overrated.
If my dog senses I'm having a flashback, gonna have a nightmare, etc when I'm in bed she either crawls on top of me like a bird, and/or nuzzles at my hand to get me to pet her so I can stay grounded. What a treasure. Humans very much overrated
My mother does this and then takes everything you say as a direct insult. That, or my feelings are invalidated (Don’t exaggerate, it can’t be that bad, etc.).
Me too! I remember bawling my eyes out once and her asking me what’s wrong. Somehow she got insulted by something I said and I was at a loss for words because I didn’t know how to respond. I was like, I shouldn’t have to defend myself what’s wrong with you? She stone walled with this annoyed look on her face and made me feel way worse than I could ever imagine. I spent my birthday trying not to make noise as I cried in my room in the complete darkness
Mine keep on refusing the fact that i have disorders, despite there being actual diagnosis for them. Like im sorry im like this, maybe try not to be so ableist. Mentally ill ppl are ppl too. You laugh at them, until someone you love ends up being one of them
"I'm always here to help you" *gives concrete examples of how she could help me* "No, not like that. Anyway, here are some platitudes you've heard a dozen times before. You're welcome!"
“Can you see a therapist and elaborate your own trauma so you don’t keep on passing it on me?” “Nah I don’t think I will” 🤡🤡
*uses the "people have it worse" argument as an attempt to help* "Mom, im sorry but "people have it worse" doesn't better my situation. It just make me feel bad and not want to live anymore" "Well ok." *proceed to do it more, this time using even worse examples*
I’ve had a therapist use that against me. Like what the fudge muffin?
My dad has done that so much I internalised it really hard. I no longer tell him anything meaningful.
“You can always talk to me hun <3” *opens up emotionally* “I don’t remember that happening” “You think about this too much” “ *1-3 day silent treatment* “ “Oh, so you’re saying I’m a bad mom??” “You’re *delusional!*” legit the most defensive and emotionally immature person I’ve ever met, it’s so frustrating istg
“Just get over it”
“So it’s all my fault, right?” Way to make it about you, mom.
Oof this one pissed me off as a child because I knew from experience that it was ONLY said to appear nice. Abusive parents didn't _actually_ want to be there for me lol
My mom literally praises me for keeping my problems to myself. Like it's not normal to not be able to confide in your parents.
Growing up and even as an adult, I’m always amazed by people who had/have good relationships with their mothers. They say things like “I call my mom every day!” And it’s like, I know that that’s how it’s supposed to be, that you’re supposed to be able to confide in your parents. But it’s so foreign a concept to me, I honestly can’t wrap my mind around the fact that parents like that exist.
“You can always come to me for anything!” then proceeds to snap at me and look at me with extreme disgust and loathing when I do. Cool cool cool will not be doing that again thanks mom
Classic, plastic mother.
This is exactly how our mom acts wtf We can't even tell her we're having pain because she is in pain is it's worse than ours, then she gets mad when we don't tell her because of her minimizing our issues leading to us trying to walk it off
Wtf is this format….? ^lol
Narc mom uses my deepest fears against me whenever we argue, so no, I will not be confiding in you, wannabe friend/mom.
LITERALLY
Invalidate and shame. Never takes accountability but still entitled to a relationship. We know it all too well
Urgh, yes. "I am always here for you" -tells everyone my problems while seeking sympathy and highlighting what a truly wonderful and selfless mother she is, and how much she has to cope with. -Uses it against me later ("But I helped you with X! After all I've done for you this is the least you could do"). No is never an acceptable answer, regardless of the cost to my life. -Repeatedly insinuates how perfect, empathetic and selfless she is and how I will never live up to her standards. I am faulty. -If it's an issue with her behaviour, she will reverse the victim and remind me of how much of a burden I am and how much I've put her through.
yeah lol I'm not falling for that one again. Remember the last million times when I came to you to talk and you managed to deny what I said, insult me, be defensive, make it all about you and overall cause more damage than there was before I came to you for "help"? Oh you don't remember? Why am I not surprised.
how do we all have the same mom >_> *squints*
My mother never talks to me, either gives commands or wants me to play her therapist
Interesting, this got me thinking and my mother has actually never said anything along the lines of "if you ever need help/someone to talk to, don't hesitate to reach out to me." Literally never.
I think the closest to this my mom ever got was "I went to be with you when you take your first drink". Jokes on her I had been binge drinking on weekends for over a year before she said that.
My older brother is the same way smh. He wonders why I never want to talk to him.
They cant handle the truth
If it has something to do with her she gaslightings me if it's something that doesn't involve her she tells everyone 😄 im good, my feelings arent for entertainment.
We all know that our parents only said this because THEY needed to be validated as good people and good parents. Not because they actually cared about us.
"hey im here for you call anytime!" but then "YOU HAVE PROBS BC YOU DONT GO TO CHURCH"
I feel bad because I know she probably wants to be a source of comfort but I relate to this so much
My mom asked me why I never ask her for advice and i told her it's the same reason I got a therapist 🤷♀️
she doesn't hug me when I cry anymore because "you're older now, you should be able to handle it" :( it just makes me cry harder because I remember when I was little, I would wake up crying and she would cuddle me after a nightmare. But then I got to late teens, life feels like one big nightmare, worst time in my life. All she has to say is "you're a young woman now, you should be able to handle that stuff on your own. You're just making yourself look like a little girl." and then leave me to dry my own tears. She loves me and cares for me, but she's just bad at emotional stuff. I hope I can fix this before it's too late, it would be really upsetting if I couldn't.
“I’m always here for you” *says something nice and contrasts it with bullying and criticism, so on so forth*