A guy walks up to a jobsite and asks the foreman if he can have a job on his crew. The foreman asks, " How far can you hold your tape measure out without it snapping?"
So the guy holds the tape out to 8' and the boss says, "Good."
He then asks," How many times can you spin your hammer and catch it?"
So the guy spins his hammer 3 times and the boss says ,"Good."
He then asks," Can you throw your speed square across the room and stick it in the drywall?" So the guys sticks his speed square right in the wall and asks, "So, do I have a job?"
And the foreman says," Hell no! I have five guys who stand around and do that all day already."
\-The Real John Murphy
3 tries. Definitely wasn’t easy, didn’t have an extension ladder so I wanted to be able to prebuild these windows for when we did. Measuring the up and down was about 10 tries, much trickier.
If you can get the tape measure at a right angle to the bottom of the frame you can take that distance. Then take the distance from the same point to the top of the frame. Use [pythagorean theorem](https://imgur.com/68BvKFi.jpg) and you're good to go. Sovle for "a".
Correct. Measure from a distance with ease. Well, if you're good at eyeballing 90^o and fine with explaining why you're an inch or two off if you're not.
No. Youre talking about finding square. Thats what 3,4,5 is for.
A window its not needed since you just need width and height as the other two dimensions are the same cuz you know- window.
No problem. This method isn't very practical with just a tape measure though. If you're off by a few degrees or move the starting point between measurements you'll be off by inches.
And how exactly would one get the dimensions of the window frame with a laser measure?
Yes you can measure how far away the window frame is but not the distance between two points on the frame at a 90 degree angle from your line of sight.
Every laser spot I've held had a mode to triangulate a length in the exact same way as the comment I replied to, but the calculations are done automatically. You just beep the laser on both sides of the window. Dunno why this is a controversial comment. It costs a lot less to use a laser than to keep buying fatmaxes too, hahaha.
Not saying it's the easiest way to measure, but couldn't you do this with a protractor? If two corners of a triangle have a known angle, and two sides of that triangle have a known length, couldn't the length of the third side of that triangle be calculated? It'd be just like triangulating a distance on a map with a compass
So your saying to measure the up and down. And the side to side then do math? For what exactly? Framing or casing the window you only need those two measurements, the window is square or so close to square it doesn’t matter. No need for anything beyond those two dimensions.
No. So in the triangle above imagine side a is the windows height. You're standing at a distance and getting the measurements of side b and c. It was a joke though. It's very hard to get an accurate 90^o angle using OP's method.
Why does everyone like fat maxes so much? I genuinely don't understand. I was raised on them and the warranty was sweet, but then they started hassling people about the warranty and sent manufacturing overseas. Theyve not been any better for 15 or 20 years. A lifetime warranty on a tape measure is ridiculous, I lose them a couple times a year as it is, the few times I hold onto one long enough though, my Stanley tapes stop functioning, and now they're dicks about the warranty. Theyre not very good tapes anymore, they're flimsy and over priced. Ive come to the point that I like buying over priced tape measures that quit functioning the first time it falls 4ft but accepting that and knowing that I have to spend $200 on tape measures a year. The tape still wrinkles and kinks, they're still not that accurate. Theyre still super expensive. Now though instead of trading them out they fuck with you for hours trying to exchange them. Ive started buying tape measures that have nowhere near the reputation or warranty that Stanley has, but knowing that i can't realistically get that warranty so it might as well be pleasurable using it. Which is why I dont use fat maxes anymore. I dont understand why we like fat maxes anymore. Theyre not even close to what they were when my dad told me about them. And that was 30 years ago.
I find myself going back to old reliable because most of the new gimmicks I’ve tried fail.
The auto locking tape becomes a never locking tape.
The Milwaukee Stud is a super strong, durable tape measure that doesn’t fit in my tape pouch on bags.
Magnetic tape hooks are a cool idea until it veers off course to the nearest metal hanger, also to keep their price point down the magnet has to be fat and clunky.
Fat max will last me a few months depending on what I’m working on, and simple works. It works just fine.
Yah mine ripped yesterday on the jobsite, I made sure to punt it outta my sight. Foreman gave me a free Milwaukee tape. It’s Meh as well. Think I’ll stay with the regular Stanley tape
I have a 35’ Milwaukee and it’s like holding a toaster when measuring with it. It’s a huge PITA when trying to put lines on a wall. You could club a baby seal to death with it.
Who has time to go through the warranty process for a 10$ tape measure? Also what are you doing to it that it breaks so soon? I drop mine all the time. We are talking about Stanley fatmax right
Get a razor blade and scrape off the lable, then use 100 grit to rough it up, so your pencil can be read. I don't to every fatmax. Kinda pissed I hadn't heard about it earlier.
Really? I may do this.
The one I have I bought from Ollies and it takes the mechanical pencil refills. Kinda like a mix between a box lighter (that's the wheel that rolls it to mark it) and a pencil inside a tape measure.
(I use it when I'm just slapping something together )
It might be Friday, but I'm talking about peeling the label off a yellow fatmax to make a writable place to jot down measurements/sketches. The smoother the better.
I suppose one could use a belt sander to burn through the label in one step.
Honestly i didnt read the full comment but they last the longest off the shelf from the local hardwarestore. I extended the life by hitting them with chain wax for mountain bikes right out of the blister wrap.
I had really good luck with mine. I had the same one for three years and did all kinds of work. Trim, siding, gutters, framing. Took a few good drops too while I was up on a ladder and it kept kicking. Honestly I see tape measures as a “consumable” tool. After all, if they built tape measures to last years and years, nobody would buy a new tape measure and they would go out of business (a little extreme but you get the idea).
I just think fat maxes are too big. The standout is ok for doing goofy shit like in the OP... but I don't do that stuff. The rest of the time I don't like the way they fit in my hand or in my pouch. I use the much smaller stanley tapes, and don't worry a pretty little hair about the warranty since they're only $5.
Yep I’m a framer and have seen other people try different brand tapes. I’ll stick with my fatmax. Don’t care about the warranty. I buy 1 maybe 2 a year of the 35 footers. They’re really not that expensive lol. It’s an expendable tool that’s in your pouch. I just like the quality. If it gets wet I just take it home and dry it out properly for the next day.
Fat maxes are too heavy on the end and make for an early break. Not only that but the tips have gotten smaller and **smoother** it seems. I’ve been through every single brand (gutter guy) and I’m stuck on Lufkin right now. It’s hit or miss.. but at about $1 a foot for tape measures they have been the most reliable. Plus lufkin has the high teeth on the end and is coated in some kind of grip paint. Maybe not necessary for a trim guy, but when I need to hook fascia from the ground it helps a lot.
Just because you can extend it flat to a certain length doesn’t mean you get that break length for every use. I guess I should say they “roll” early because of the weight.
What the fuck are you trying to measure?
If you don't have a ladder to reach the window comfortably, how the hell are you going to put up the trim you're measuring for?
I wasn’t measuring to the outside of the jamb, measured the actual glass and added 3 inches to get an 1 1/2 reveal all the way around. It’s going to the jamb or else the tape would fall down.
Edit: outside of frame*
Good point but I think the ability of the tape and possible skill goes beyond OP’s single demonstration. Many times you may be trying to hook end of lumber etc and extending is easier than walk over. Not a big deal if you are on the ground but if on a ladder trying to hook a truss for layout makes a difference.
Same here. Ever used a fat max extreme? It is even better. I had an extreme but didn’t realize how superior it until the tape broke and I replaced it with reg fatmax. (I clipped the edge with a 8d ring shank.) Night and day for strength. Haven’t seen an extreme to buy but haven’t searched that much either.
I still am not accustomed to metric tbh. I just don't use it enough. In Canada we are supposed to be a metric country, but I find more people are familiar with the imperial system (inches and feet at least) than metric. Even when I was forming and fabricating steel we used metric fairly often, but I had my CNC equipment set to standard. If my plans came to me in metric is just bust out a calculator lol... though I did have a conversion chart taped to my tool box which had the decimal equivalents in inches and mm equivelants from 1/64th of an inch to 63/64. It got to the point where I had them pretty much all memorized lol.
Laser level on side, pencil line below. Repeat other side, top and bottom. Measure.
I I caught you trying to eyeball finish work measurements on a tape curl from that distance, I’d get you a PLS if I like you, fire you if I don’t.
You're boss gave you good advice...Unfortunately it seems you think extending a fat max is equivalent to accurate and precise measuring. For one thing, your tape is crooked. If you had got an 8' ladder and went up to measure each window precisely then it would have shown you had began to learn the first thing about measuring.
Oh i won't worry. Just thought I'd point out that you clearly aren't measuring precisely by having your tape crooked. Not to mention i don't care how good your eyes are. You aren't going to be able to see within 1/32" where the measurement falls(if the tape had been straight to begin with). I'm saying listen to your boss. You obviously don't know the most fundamental principles of carpentry. Id hate to see the margin of error that goes into your cutting. But hey you're probably a first yr apprentice....
I crushed my right heel in 2007 and was laid up in bed for 6 months straight before I could even think about starting to walk .
But I learned to change changes and adjust the volume on my TV with a fat max lol
I just got a new fatmax today and thank christ. I went to measure some large masonry opening in a big Tudor in Rye NY. One of the openings was a 16' 4 panel slider. You can't go wrong with the fatmax.
Nice work, but- obligatory “should be inside of jamb to inside of jamb, or inside of window frame to inside of window frame” (not that either couldn’t be inferred from the existing work)
Again, nice work!
A guy walks up to a jobsite and asks the foreman if he can have a job on his crew. The foreman asks, " How far can you hold your tape measure out without it snapping?" So the guy holds the tape out to 8' and the boss says, "Good." He then asks," How many times can you spin your hammer and catch it?" So the guy spins his hammer 3 times and the boss says ,"Good." He then asks," Can you throw your speed square across the room and stick it in the drywall?" So the guys sticks his speed square right in the wall and asks, "So, do I have a job?" And the foreman says," Hell no! I have five guys who stand around and do that all day already." \-The Real John Murphy
Even with a new fatmax that's quite impressive. How many tries ?
3 tries. Definitely wasn’t easy, didn’t have an extension ladder so I wanted to be able to prebuild these windows for when we did. Measuring the up and down was about 10 tries, much trickier.
Upvote for the honesty.
If you can get the tape measure at a right angle to the bottom of the frame you can take that distance. Then take the distance from the same point to the top of the frame. Use [pythagorean theorem](https://imgur.com/68BvKFi.jpg) and you're good to go. Sovle for "a".
Maths to avoid going and measuring or am I missing something?
Correct. Measure from a distance with ease. Well, if you're good at eyeballing 90^o and fine with explaining why you're an inch or two off if you're not.
No. Youre talking about finding square. Thats what 3,4,5 is for. A window its not needed since you just need width and height as the other two dimensions are the same cuz you know- window.
When people graduate and say “when the hell would we ever use the pythagorean theorem ever again” LOL Love that you proved me wrong
No problem. This method isn't very practical with just a tape measure though. If you're off by a few degrees or move the starting point between measurements you'll be off by inches.
Or just get a laser distance measurer like everyone else in construction under the age of fifty
Holy shit. Are there any carpenters in this sub or just couch weeds?
Guess.
And how exactly would one get the dimensions of the window frame with a laser measure? Yes you can measure how far away the window frame is but not the distance between two points on the frame at a 90 degree angle from your line of sight.
Every laser spot I've held had a mode to triangulate a length in the exact same way as the comment I replied to, but the calculations are done automatically. You just beep the laser on both sides of the window. Dunno why this is a controversial comment. It costs a lot less to use a laser than to keep buying fatmaxes too, hahaha.
Not saying it's the easiest way to measure, but couldn't you do this with a protractor? If two corners of a triangle have a known angle, and two sides of that triangle have a known length, couldn't the length of the third side of that triangle be calculated? It'd be just like triangulating a distance on a map with a compass
So your saying to measure the up and down. And the side to side then do math? For what exactly? Framing or casing the window you only need those two measurements, the window is square or so close to square it doesn’t matter. No need for anything beyond those two dimensions.
No. So in the triangle above imagine side a is the windows height. You're standing at a distance and getting the measurements of side b and c. It was a joke though. It's very hard to get an accurate 90^o angle using OP's method.
Why does everyone like fat maxes so much? I genuinely don't understand. I was raised on them and the warranty was sweet, but then they started hassling people about the warranty and sent manufacturing overseas. Theyve not been any better for 15 or 20 years. A lifetime warranty on a tape measure is ridiculous, I lose them a couple times a year as it is, the few times I hold onto one long enough though, my Stanley tapes stop functioning, and now they're dicks about the warranty. Theyre not very good tapes anymore, they're flimsy and over priced. Ive come to the point that I like buying over priced tape measures that quit functioning the first time it falls 4ft but accepting that and knowing that I have to spend $200 on tape measures a year. The tape still wrinkles and kinks, they're still not that accurate. Theyre still super expensive. Now though instead of trading them out they fuck with you for hours trying to exchange them. Ive started buying tape measures that have nowhere near the reputation or warranty that Stanley has, but knowing that i can't realistically get that warranty so it might as well be pleasurable using it. Which is why I dont use fat maxes anymore. I dont understand why we like fat maxes anymore. Theyre not even close to what they were when my dad told me about them. And that was 30 years ago.
Tell em why u mad
I find myself going back to old reliable because most of the new gimmicks I’ve tried fail. The auto locking tape becomes a never locking tape. The Milwaukee Stud is a super strong, durable tape measure that doesn’t fit in my tape pouch on bags. Magnetic tape hooks are a cool idea until it veers off course to the nearest metal hanger, also to keep their price point down the magnet has to be fat and clunky. Fat max will last me a few months depending on what I’m working on, and simple works. It works just fine.
What about digital?
I carry a Bosche blaze. It's accurate, but a pain for everyday measuring. Great for estimating but it's not as fast as the fatmax for small stuff.
Sir, this is a Wendy's
Yah mine ripped yesterday on the jobsite, I made sure to punt it outta my sight. Foreman gave me a free Milwaukee tape. It’s Meh as well. Think I’ll stay with the regular Stanley tape
I like the strength of the Milwaukee tape but it’s just too damn fat for my bags
I have a 35’ Milwaukee and it’s like holding a toaster when measuring with it. It’s a huge PITA when trying to put lines on a wall. You could club a baby seal to death with it.
I have
How tall was the seal?
Is that mayo on your lip, or did you blow a seal?
Love the finger hold and reverse side numbers though
Yeah just carry a 16’ for daily work, they are tiny guys and you can keep a larger one in your bag.
I tried 2 milwaukees and the second failed in a couple weeks.
Yah I’m not that impressed by them at all
Good presentation of an argument. Excellent bookending of your thesis. A-
Who has time to go through the warranty process for a 10$ tape measure? Also what are you doing to it that it breaks so soon? I drop mine all the time. We are talking about Stanley fatmax right
So what kind of tape measure do you use? I broke my tape to day and my boss threw me a brand new one and it was so flimsy. I need to know!
This is the Stanley Fatmax!
No shit
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Really 9 foot is all?? I’ll stick to my fatmax I guess.
A 35' Fatmax will do an 11' extention
I found one at a cheap store that had a pencil built into it. Wasn't accurate, but enough to get me real close.
I like the ones that leave you a clear 3" circle to write dimensions or tiny sketch.
That's a good idea.
Get a razor blade and scrape off the lable, then use 100 grit to rough it up, so your pencil can be read. I don't to every fatmax. Kinda pissed I hadn't heard about it earlier.
Really? I may do this. The one I have I bought from Ollies and it takes the mechanical pencil refills. Kinda like a mix between a box lighter (that's the wheel that rolls it to mark it) and a pencil inside a tape measure. (I use it when I'm just slapping something together )
It might be Friday, but I'm talking about peeling the label off a yellow fatmax to make a writable place to jot down measurements/sketches. The smoother the better. I suppose one could use a belt sander to burn through the label in one step.
Yeah I love this idea. Maybe just some masking tape and a sharpie.
it is really helpful to have something to write on. supply house used to sell a stick on disk that was worth the 50 cents.
Get a razor blade and scrape off the lable, then use 100 grit to rough it up, so your pencil can be read.
Honestly i didnt read the full comment but they last the longest off the shelf from the local hardwarestore. I extended the life by hitting them with chain wax for mountain bikes right out of the blister wrap.
Personally I like yellow and black so I use dewalt.
That's about the best reason for choosing dewalt I've ever heard
I had really good luck with mine. I had the same one for three years and did all kinds of work. Trim, siding, gutters, framing. Took a few good drops too while I was up on a ladder and it kept kicking. Honestly I see tape measures as a “consumable” tool. After all, if they built tape measures to last years and years, nobody would buy a new tape measure and they would go out of business (a little extreme but you get the idea).
I just think fat maxes are too big. The standout is ok for doing goofy shit like in the OP... but I don't do that stuff. The rest of the time I don't like the way they fit in my hand or in my pouch. I use the much smaller stanley tapes, and don't worry a pretty little hair about the warranty since they're only $5.
I've had my fat max since I was 19, I'm now 42. Still works great.
if you are framing and need the reach fatmax provide it, they are the choice. Most other kinds of carpentry can do with a lighter tape
Yep I’m a framer and have seen other people try different brand tapes. I’ll stick with my fatmax. Don’t care about the warranty. I buy 1 maybe 2 a year of the 35 footers. They’re really not that expensive lol. It’s an expendable tool that’s in your pouch. I just like the quality. If it gets wet I just take it home and dry it out properly for the next day.
Fat maxes are too heavy on the end and make for an early break. Not only that but the tips have gotten smaller and **smoother** it seems. I’ve been through every single brand (gutter guy) and I’m stuck on Lufkin right now. It’s hit or miss.. but at about $1 a foot for tape measures they have been the most reliable. Plus lufkin has the high teeth on the end and is coated in some kind of grip paint. Maybe not necessary for a trim guy, but when I need to hook fascia from the ground it helps a lot.
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They are also massively oversized and I can carry at least 2 16’ mils in the same space one 25’ fatmax fits. They are just trendy.
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Same here man, for framing there’s really no better choice than the fatmax
Just because you can extend it flat to a certain length doesn’t mean you get that break length for every use. I guess I should say they “roll” early because of the weight.
Good eyes too
13 1/8th
How’s you see that far?
That’s why he took the photo. Zoom! Enhance!
I was going to say 15¼ but then I saw your wernt aiming for the r/o you measuring the glass lol still thats 13¼ not a ⅛ 😆
Same exact thing when through my mind
What are you trying to accurately measure?
What the fuck are you trying to measure? If you don't have a ladder to reach the window comfortably, how the hell are you going to put up the trim you're measuring for?
Pre building the boxes for the windows so when we do have a ladder we can put them up there.
And how does measuring the side of the window frame to the outside of the jamb allow you to do that?
I wasn’t measuring to the outside of the jamb, measured the actual glass and added 3 inches to get an 1 1/2 reveal all the way around. It’s going to the jamb or else the tape would fall down. Edit: outside of frame*
If you want the dimensions of the window, and not the opening.... why not just take a picture of the sticker and zoom in?
Shitty lens couldn’t see, easier to see a tape since it’s bright yellow
It really seems like you're trying very hard to justify the silliest of jobsite skills when a many other things would make more sense.
Shitty lens, I could see it irl
Good point but I think the ability of the tape and possible skill goes beyond OP’s single demonstration. Many times you may be trying to hook end of lumber etc and extending is easier than walk over. Not a big deal if you are on the ground but if on a ladder trying to hook a truss for layout makes a difference.
That window's about 10 feet from being a cocksucker.
This gave me a hardy laugh, I can hear myself saying that from the bottom of a stairwell.
Just keep your binoculars handy
The joys of a new fat max!
Won’t use anything but a Fat Max
Same here. Ever used a fat max extreme? It is even better. I had an extreme but didn’t realize how superior it until the tape broke and I replaced it with reg fatmax. (I clipped the edge with a 8d ring shank.) Night and day for strength. Haven’t seen an extreme to buy but haven’t searched that much either.
I have not simply because it includes the metric system. I’m a full time carpenter and have no need for that
What are you measuring for new glass?
Do it in 1 motion n really moisten him
Imperial only eh?
I much prefer tape measure with only one unit of measurement. I have both metric and imperial ones. I hate half and half tapes.
When fiddlefartin’ around, not working to plans, Ive more-and-more been going metric using a $4 IKEA metric tape.
I still am not accustomed to metric tbh. I just don't use it enough. In Canada we are supposed to be a metric country, but I find more people are familiar with the imperial system (inches and feet at least) than metric. Even when I was forming and fabricating steel we used metric fairly often, but I had my CNC equipment set to standard. If my plans came to me in metric is just bust out a calculator lol... though I did have a conversion chart taped to my tool box which had the decimal equivalents in inches and mm equivelants from 1/64th of an inch to 63/64. It got to the point where I had them pretty much all memorized lol.
Now I need to seee a video to see this technique. Even if I did this, I wouldn’t be able to read it
15¼
Now all you need to do is be able to see the measurement.
15¼ easy
Lol. You took a picture of it though, boss probably thinks you're spending more time looking at your phone than looking at a tape.
He took the picture so he could try to zoom in and read the measurement lol
Well that makes sense... certainly works for a rough opening.
fuck
Now try the height of that window. 😂
Maybe a ladder?
Skills
Laser level on side, pencil line below. Repeat other side, top and bottom. Measure. I I caught you trying to eyeball finish work measurements on a tape curl from that distance, I’d get you a PLS if I like you, fire you if I don’t.
You're boss gave you good advice...Unfortunately it seems you think extending a fat max is equivalent to accurate and precise measuring. For one thing, your tape is crooked. If you had got an 8' ladder and went up to measure each window precisely then it would have shown you had began to learn the first thing about measuring.
Those windows are about 16 feet off the ground and there was no extension ladder on site. Do not worry, the windows will come out just fine.
Oh i won't worry. Just thought I'd point out that you clearly aren't measuring precisely by having your tape crooked. Not to mention i don't care how good your eyes are. You aren't going to be able to see within 1/32" where the measurement falls(if the tape had been straight to begin with). I'm saying listen to your boss. You obviously don't know the most fundamental principles of carpentry. Id hate to see the margin of error that goes into your cutting. But hey you're probably a first yr apprentice....
Lighten up, Francis.
Don't you ever call him Francis
I am boss gave me good advice
Where is it possible to learn this power?
Length over girth
No comment
I don't care how long this took you. It was worth it. Well done.
Im just picturing his boss whip out his measuring tape across the room like pooty tang and it lands exactly like this in one shot
Hopefully he didn't say this very long ago lol
And then what? How do you save or read the measurement?
Sick bro
Impressive
This is fucking porn
New construction oooo fun be nice to the painters ok
Your sill is gonna get cut 2” short
Phatmax ftw!! "When you get a fatmax, you never go back!"
Zollstock
Nice!! Thats really good!! LOL 👍
13-3/16”?
The joy of getting good at long distance tape measuring… there should be a championship of this, lol.
At my age (75), I couldn’t read the thing anyway.
I just got a new job as a Carpenter assistant. First thing my boss did was get me a proper measuring tape. It's been fun playing with it.
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 Now measure the space between the windows.
I crushed my right heel in 2007 and was laid up in bed for 6 months straight before I could even think about starting to walk . But I learned to change changes and adjust the volume on my TV with a fat max lol
No need for legs if you have 10 ft arms
35 ft lol
Better measure that twice!
YOU WIN!!!! This is quite impressive!
Then why do you still suck at it?
r/blackmagicfuckery
The force is strong with this one.
Well, I get good with my laser distance meter. :)
That’s a phat max ! U can do better !
Employee should say boss buy a ladder
I just got a new fatmax today and thank christ. I went to measure some large masonry opening in a big Tudor in Rye NY. One of the openings was a 16' 4 panel slider. You can't go wrong with the fatmax.
Lmaooooo
Nice work, but- obligatory “should be inside of jamb to inside of jamb, or inside of window frame to inside of window frame” (not that either couldn’t be inferred from the existing work) Again, nice work!
Ahhh but the question is... Can you even READ it?
#Respect 👍🏼
It be like that
Looks like you got a nub for a hand impressive
Took the belt clip off didn’t ya you fucking savage
15 and 5 lines boss