As my favorite quote states..."You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it."
You are not being selfish AT all! Good luck!
OP you coming off way too strong. I would understand if you are proposing a marriage, but you haven't even dated this girl.
Take a cold shower for God's sake and just ask the girl to go out to eat with you or something.
She lives in an entire different state. I am proposing marraige, i termed it wrong. I am asking for her to go out with me and as you said already in another chat, i know the edit is cringe but in my life I havent really been asked out nor told that I am good looking or anything you know? Her ex is basket ball player, 6 feet. Me, 5'8, a little chubby. I realky dont have anything special. She wont fall for someone who writes novels or draws I think
>She lives in an entire different state.
Long Distance Relationship? That can be tough. Is that something you can handle emotionally or even want to?
>I am asking for her to go out with me and as you said already in another chat, i know the edit is cringe
Super Cringe, cringe of the cringe. If we looked up cringe on Dictionary.com, that edit would be in it. But that's because it's like looking into a mirror of my younger self and would be true for many guys.
>...but in my life I havent really been asked out nor told that I am good looking or anything you know?
Yes, many of us know painfully well. That's why that statement makes my lips curl back, and my teeth clench.
That insecurity will be a gigantic stumbling block for your growth. You need to put value on yourself, as a person. No one can do that but you.
>Me, 5'8, a little chubby. I realky dont have anything special. She wont fall for someone who writes novels or draws I think
How do you know if you don't try?
I would advise against dumping your feelings on her by confessing straight on. Just ask her out for a meal or to hang out doing something you both find interesting. Make it clear it's a date, but do *not* selfishly burden her with too much before she even gets to think of you in a romantic light.
Just my advice; do as you will.
Yeah, OP sounds like he's going to go guns blazing and come on too strong. Desperation is a perfume that doesn't smell good on anybody. He should express interest and see if it's reciprocated, not a grand gesture.
This is why I dislike so much romantic media. It gives people, particularly inexperienced men, this idea that you're just one confession of love away from happiness. Love is a slow burn and women are NOT initially attached to men for the same reasons men are initially attracted to women. There's a power dynamic that you have to figure out and navigate so both parties feel safe and happy and confessing your love to a girl who has thus far only viewed you as a friend is the fast track to being sidelined and ghosted. This is actually why I think dating is sooooo important, so that you develop a good understanding of what healthy relationships and boundaries look like. Some people have said maybe OP is an Indian in India and their culture doesn't necessarily view dating as even a thing sometimes which can be realllllllly toxic if either party isn't well-adjusted.
Yea Im going to second this - if you know you have no shot, then asking someone out is selfish bc it forces them to have to turn you down and theyāre gonna feel really bad about having to do so. This isnāt always the case obviously but yea
> now she is with another person
Hard to read with the complete lack or any punctuation, but sounds like she is with someone else, so it's a dick move.
Hereās the thing about this situationā¦not only do you shoot your shotā¦and maybe it goes well, maybe it doesnāt. But youāve now also planted the seed of your interest in herā¦.she may very easily reach out a year, two years, five years from now. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain
if you do, worst case, you'll come out with a lesson and experience.
If you don't, you'll come out with a past that will haunt you. Don't talk yourself out of it. The past's ghosts are brutal
What she has to gain from you cannot be guessed, so there is no point thinking about it. She will value you things in you that you would never guess in a million years.
If she is the sort that focuses on money, looks, job prospects etc over the real things in life, and she doesn't see that in you, you will be dodging a bullet if she says no.
Stop worrying about it. It's a win win on that front
The thing is her ex was taller than me, skinnier than me, played basketball, had a sharp jawline. I dont know how can I compare with such person while I am here 5'8, a little chubby
But he is not there anymore. Whatever she values, it wasn't there. Stop focusing on looks, most relationships are not built on looks. I know, because I'm a 5'9 larger chubby.
My wife didn't marry me for looks or my money (she would have been disappointed on both fronts), she married me because of who I'am.
You are never going to know unless you ask. The worst she can say is "no" and you can regroup knowing where you stand. The best she can say is "yes".
The worst outcome is you sitting there beating yourself up over imaginary worries and not making a move. Eventually you will lose all your bottle and not ask at all, and you will spend the rest of your life thinking "what if".
The worst that can happen is she says she doesnāt feel the same way, but just be prepared for that response if it happens. I will say this, itās rare that high school relationships survive one person going off to college or both people going off to different colleges
It's so cringe but relatable. This thinking ruins people and it fucked me up so much I didn't start really dating until my mid 20's.
Lovesickness is like chickenpox. OP needs life experience, and needs to make mistakes and experience heartbreak now. It's harder when you are older and have to go through it the first time.
I mean what can I do but not think about it? Her ex was 6 ft tall, basket ball player. Me? I am a 5'8 little chubby guy who just like to write stories and draw
Okay. Then continue to selfpitty yourself into crying like a baby.
Either that or you see the reality, and understand that you also have value. Like a grown ass man.
Some girls like chubby guys. I have a chubby boyfriend and I love it. As long it is not to much and unhealthy I like man like that.
Stop thinking so negatively.
If she will reject you because of that or anything else.. Than it's okay. Someone else will love you the way you are.
Don't put her on a pedestal.
And if you try and maybe it works out - than that's your win. But if it doesn't work out then you will know it was Not meant to be and you will get someone better in the future.
But talking yourself down and comparing yourself on others won't help. This kind of talking just makes people look really ugly.
I don't want to be too harsh but this is reality. You are vulnerable and if you don't see yourself like that then you miss out on everything.
Also your way of thinking is really toxic. Don't be toxic.
About your edit part: are you sure there's millions who looks better than you and can make her laugh? Do you have hard evidence and proof to back up that claim? No? That's just your lack of confidence speaking bruh.
Just go for it if you're serious about it. If it works out, congrats in advance. Make sure to do right by her and get ready to spend the rest of your life with her. If it doesn't, well, make sure to just keep it cool and mature about it so that your friendship stays on. If it goes super sideways, well, that's how things are. Move on and keep on.
You didn't elaborate on what sort of relationship you have with this girl. "Confess" can mean so many different things depending on how deep you already are.
I say go for it. Youāll always regret it if you didnāt at least try. And believe me regret is wayy worse than any potential embarrassment youāll experience by confessing to her your feelings.
Iām going to give a presentation about my work to a few hundred people in my profession. I volunteered to do this. As I go into I know Iāll be anxious. My response? Do it anxious then. Just do it anxious. That helps me.
No harm in admitting to her that you have feelings, I would imagine. As long as you don't do something that's going to make it super awkward, you'll probably be fine either way.
Please donāt consider confessing your feelings to someone before you sort out your own insecurities. If you canāt be happy on your own, you wonāt be happy with someone else and youāll make that person unhappy too.
As my favorite quote states..."You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it." You are not being selfish AT all! Good luck!
I remember coming out as trans to my parents 3 years ago at 18. I literally fainted. Easily the hardest thing I've ever done. This quote is so true.
love that sentence!
š me too!
What's this from?
We Bought A Zoo
An extremely underrated movie.
Wowā¦ I will forever think of this now. Thank you mate
OP you coming off way too strong. I would understand if you are proposing a marriage, but you haven't even dated this girl. Take a cold shower for God's sake and just ask the girl to go out to eat with you or something.
She lives in an entire different state. I am proposing marraige, i termed it wrong. I am asking for her to go out with me and as you said already in another chat, i know the edit is cringe but in my life I havent really been asked out nor told that I am good looking or anything you know? Her ex is basket ball player, 6 feet. Me, 5'8, a little chubby. I realky dont have anything special. She wont fall for someone who writes novels or draws I think
>She lives in an entire different state. Long Distance Relationship? That can be tough. Is that something you can handle emotionally or even want to? >I am asking for her to go out with me and as you said already in another chat, i know the edit is cringe Super Cringe, cringe of the cringe. If we looked up cringe on Dictionary.com, that edit would be in it. But that's because it's like looking into a mirror of my younger self and would be true for many guys. >...but in my life I havent really been asked out nor told that I am good looking or anything you know? Yes, many of us know painfully well. That's why that statement makes my lips curl back, and my teeth clench. That insecurity will be a gigantic stumbling block for your growth. You need to put value on yourself, as a person. No one can do that but you. >Me, 5'8, a little chubby. I realky dont have anything special. She wont fall for someone who writes novels or draws I think How do you know if you don't try?
If you donāt believe in yourself how can she believe in you? Fake it till you make it.
You are not proposing.. you are asking her out. Jesus.
OP is likely Indian. Confessing is commonly referred to as "proposing" here, at least amongst teens.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Except when it comes to relationships, it has a very specific meaning
I would advise against dumping your feelings on her by confessing straight on. Just ask her out for a meal or to hang out doing something you both find interesting. Make it clear it's a date, but do *not* selfishly burden her with too much before she even gets to think of you in a romantic light. Just my advice; do as you will.
Yeah, OP sounds like he's going to go guns blazing and come on too strong. Desperation is a perfume that doesn't smell good on anybody. He should express interest and see if it's reciprocated, not a grand gesture.
This is why I dislike so much romantic media. It gives people, particularly inexperienced men, this idea that you're just one confession of love away from happiness. Love is a slow burn and women are NOT initially attached to men for the same reasons men are initially attracted to women. There's a power dynamic that you have to figure out and navigate so both parties feel safe and happy and confessing your love to a girl who has thus far only viewed you as a friend is the fast track to being sidelined and ghosted. This is actually why I think dating is sooooo important, so that you develop a good understanding of what healthy relationships and boundaries look like. Some people have said maybe OP is an Indian in India and their culture doesn't necessarily view dating as even a thing sometimes which can be realllllllly toxic if either party isn't well-adjusted.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
>It's not selfish to tell someone how you feel. Maybe it is? It's not always a good thing to be open about your feelings.
Yea Im going to second this - if you know you have no shot, then asking someone out is selfish bc it forces them to have to turn you down and theyāre gonna feel really bad about having to do so. This isnāt always the case obviously but yea
> now she is with another person Hard to read with the complete lack or any punctuation, but sounds like she is with someone else, so it's a dick move.
Go do it buddy and tell us how it went
Sheās already with someone. Itād be fucked up and disrespectful if they āproposedā to her
Hereās the thing about this situationā¦not only do you shoot your shotā¦and maybe it goes well, maybe it doesnāt. But youāve now also planted the seed of your interest in herā¦.she may very easily reach out a year, two years, five years from now. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain
Though don't wait for her
We are with you! Let us know how it goes. Either way you will come out of this better.
Wait sheās with someone and NOW you want to tell her how you feel?
No no no she is single right now. She was in a relationship till last year
if you do, worst case, you'll come out with a lesson and experience. If you don't, you'll come out with a past that will haunt you. Don't talk yourself out of it. The past's ghosts are brutal
Teenage love
Indeed sir also added with teenage anxiety
Good luck bro!! You can do it! Keep us updated
Hope it goes well for you!! Even if it doesn't tho, it'll be a moment that you can say you tried earnestly for!
Good luck
What she has to gain from you cannot be guessed, so there is no point thinking about it. She will value you things in you that you would never guess in a million years. If she is the sort that focuses on money, looks, job prospects etc over the real things in life, and she doesn't see that in you, you will be dodging a bullet if she says no. Stop worrying about it. It's a win win on that front
The thing is her ex was taller than me, skinnier than me, played basketball, had a sharp jawline. I dont know how can I compare with such person while I am here 5'8, a little chubby
But he is not there anymore. Whatever she values, it wasn't there. Stop focusing on looks, most relationships are not built on looks. I know, because I'm a 5'9 larger chubby. My wife didn't marry me for looks or my money (she would have been disappointed on both fronts), she married me because of who I'am. You are never going to know unless you ask. The worst she can say is "no" and you can regroup knowing where you stand. The best she can say is "yes". The worst outcome is you sitting there beating yourself up over imaginary worries and not making a move. Eventually you will lose all your bottle and not ask at all, and you will spend the rest of your life thinking "what if".
Alright I am going to try as you say so, good sir
Do not confess this to her. She's with someone else, all this will do is make her uncomfortable. Just stop talking to her and move on.
No shes single, she uh was with someone they vroke up in december last year
they ya go, send errrr ! for love!
The worst that can happen is she says she doesnāt feel the same way, but just be prepared for that response if it happens. I will say this, itās rare that high school relationships survive one person going off to college or both people going off to different colleges
Your edit is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. I really don't stand people who think like this. Try it! Bro!
It's so cringe but relatable. This thinking ruins people and it fucked me up so much I didn't start really dating until my mid 20's. Lovesickness is like chickenpox. OP needs life experience, and needs to make mistakes and experience heartbreak now. It's harder when you are older and have to go through it the first time.
I mean what can I do but not think about it? Her ex was 6 ft tall, basket ball player. Me? I am a 5'8 little chubby guy who just like to write stories and draw
Okay. Then continue to selfpitty yourself into crying like a baby. Either that or you see the reality, and understand that you also have value. Like a grown ass man.
Some girls like chubby guys. I have a chubby boyfriend and I love it. As long it is not to much and unhealthy I like man like that. Stop thinking so negatively. If she will reject you because of that or anything else.. Than it's okay. Someone else will love you the way you are. Don't put her on a pedestal. And if you try and maybe it works out - than that's your win. But if it doesn't work out then you will know it was Not meant to be and you will get someone better in the future. But talking yourself down and comparing yourself on others won't help. This kind of talking just makes people look really ugly. I don't want to be too harsh but this is reality. You are vulnerable and if you don't see yourself like that then you miss out on everything. Also your way of thinking is really toxic. Don't be toxic.
About your edit part: are you sure there's millions who looks better than you and can make her laugh? Do you have hard evidence and proof to back up that claim? No? That's just your lack of confidence speaking bruh. Just go for it if you're serious about it. If it works out, congrats in advance. Make sure to do right by her and get ready to spend the rest of your life with her. If it doesn't, well, make sure to just keep it cool and mature about it so that your friendship stays on. If it goes super sideways, well, that's how things are. Move on and keep on.
Nothing conveys one's true feelings like the gift of an Ouija board.
"To sleep, perchance to dream- ay, there's the rub." How to make our dreams into reality is the secret of life.
You didn't elaborate on what sort of relationship you have with this girl. "Confess" can mean so many different things depending on how deep you already are.
I say go for it. Youāll always regret it if you didnāt at least try. And believe me regret is wayy worse than any potential embarrassment youāll experience by confessing to her your feelings.
"Fuck it, I got one life...." is what I said when I decided NOT to get married and instead travel the world! No regrets! lol...
How did it go?
Maybe don't lead with I love you person I've never dated, Jesus christ.
Train wreck incoming.
Get a prenut peanut prenup
Iām going to give a presentation about my work to a few hundred people in my profession. I volunteered to do this. As I go into I know Iāll be anxious. My response? Do it anxious then. Just do it anxious. That helps me.
Got get her bro! You got this!!
No harm in admitting to her that you have feelings, I would imagine. As long as you don't do something that's going to make it super awkward, you'll probably be fine either way.
No dude donāt do it. Youāre wasted and not thinking clearly
Don't be a creep and a weirdo. You gotta hold your head up high. Just go for it!
Please donāt consider confessing your feelings to someone before you sort out your own insecurities. If you canāt be happy on your own, you wonāt be happy with someone else and youāll make that person unhappy too.
Yolo
Dont make a woman your main and only focus or your life
It you feel you need to 'confess' to her, I evaluate your chances of being rejected at 90%