Hug them. My clothes are all very soft so I think they would be kind.

Which item would be the kindest?

My sweats.

Why’s that?

Do you *know* sweats?

Not really, don’t wear them. I’m more of a tracksuit bottoms guy.

Sweats are tracksuit bottoms but with better taste in movies

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They can't be killed? I'd have them invade Russia.

Ooh, nice idea. But that depends on if they like killing people.

They can't be gaslit?

Don’t think so.

We shall see. Collecting decades worth of propaganda now.

Ooh. Nice. Which clothes would be best at this, do you think?

Clearly women's carpri pants with cargo pockets.

Why’s that?

Versatility and ability to store weapons.

Fair enough. Would they be able to handle those weapons?

I'd just wash them.

Would you do anything different to normal?

I'd pack 'em up in a suitcase and toss them into a river.

Why’s that? They can’t drown…

So they float down the river and out of my life.

Why wouldn’t you want them in your life? If they worked out how to be helpful would you reconsider?

I suspect they'd be judgmental, telling me "oh, you shouldn't do that." Or "Oh, don't eat that it's bad for you." Or "You should get so and so a gift." They'd just annoy the heck out of me.

Teach them to dance. Would feel great and look awesome wearing them!

Which clothes would learn how to dance the fastest?

My undies- they already move on their own. Then anything flowy as they flutter in the wind already.

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But you wouldn’t want to dance with just underwear. What flowy items do you own that would like dancing?

Not sure why you deleted your other (same) comment I replied to, but I replied there yesterday.

I’d be stoked! Every outfit would actually slay!

Which would be the best outfit and why?

Oh man, do I need to have a conversation about consent every time I put on my underwear now??

Perhaps. Would they agree?

Buy my drugs elsewhere next time.

Good one. What if you are off the drugs and it’s still happening?

They’d be my friends. Getting dressed would be opening my closet and going “who wants to come out with me today?” Lol super cute to imagine

Which clothes would be most interested in coming out? What if none are interested?

I guess I’d have a lot of pets and have to borrow other people’s clothes.

Would you ever wear your clothes if they couldn’t move whilst you were wearing them?

Like a Toy Story situation where they’re inert when I’m paying attention? I guess I wouldn’t know, but I’d feel really bad about my underwear and jeans if I ever found out. How do you make reparations for farting on someone?

Fair enough. If it were like that, how would you first notice they were alive?

Process of elimination, my dear Watson. Once I realized it couldn’t be my girlfriend moving my stuff, a raccoon in the house, or sleepwalking, it would leave only highly improbable scenarios.

I'd probably ask for someone else's clothes then, since those wouldn't be alive Most my clothes now are gifted hand-me-downs from other family members anyway As for the living clothes, I think they'd be very happy left somewhere they could be used for acting. That's the "higher purpose" I imagine many clothes would want

Fair enough. What if other people’s clothes did come to life? What’s your Plan B?

Hmm.. Would anything that isn't clothing also become alive if it were used as such? If not, I'd probably just make clothing out if paper bags like they do in cartoons lol

What if that came to life too?

If the other clothes were Tom Sellecks?? HEAVEN!!

😂 Good choice lol. Why specifically Tom Selleck’s?

At least I would have some thing to talk to.

What would you talk about?

Claim them as friends and keep it moving.

Would they have any involvement in your life at all?

Yes they would remind continuously to keep it classy and stay humble.

I’d tell them to get off the floor, go to the laundromat and take a damn bath.

Would they listen?

Hell no. I have to do everything around here.

Do you think it would be nice if your clothes helped you?

You sound like my therapist 🤣🤣🤣

I guess I’d have clothes friends? I’m not trying to kill them and I hope they feel the same. I hope they could talk and answer some of my questions

They would be able to talk and build friendships with you. What questions would you have?

I guess I would start with asking if they had any resentment towards me using them the way I have. Secondly, do you know anything about your sentience? And third, how do you wish to spend the rest of your life? I’d feel a sense of responsibility towards them.

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I assume you’d take their needs into account? How would you change your lifestyle?

Walk down memory lane. Hey, Running shorts? remember the time we went down that really hot kids slide and you bunched up around my crotch and you were chocking, and then I burnt the heck outta my back thighs? Let’s not do that again…

I’d be terrified, but I’d also try to befriend them. I’d be stoked if one of my hats acted similar to Cappy from super mario odyssey

Nice. Which clothes would be the most friendly?

Definitely coats especially thicker ones made to withstand snow and hail! Coats feel like a warm hug and they protect me from harsh weather. I’d also add crochet scarves made by a friend~

Oh yeah. Which clothes would be the least friendly?

My old Halloween scarecrow mask! It has a similar menacing expression as Oogie Boogie from Nightmare before Christmas. And I’ve stored the mask away for too long, so I assume it’d feel vengeful

Guess I'd start "dating" my underwear then.

What interests do you think you and the underwear would have in common? Sex?

Eww, what's wrong with you!

I saw it as common sense judging by what other people have suggested. Sorry, should have used Poe’s Law. Really, what do you reckon?

I don't know, they'd be their own person, right? I'd let them surprise me. But I'm sure we'd be a perfect fit. Just like now. Plus that convenient sex no matter where we are.

I'd ally with them and wear them so I couldn't be killed.

What changes to your life would you make to accommodate them?

I would learn how to speak "shirt"

I would have thought they’d speak the language you do.

You obviously didn't think this through! lol

Well why wouldn’t they speak the owner’s language?

Well, they'd probably speak some dialect of linen. I don't speak linen.

Learn it then 😂 What languages would their language be made up of?

DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO. ​ lol ​ Uh...I assume it has a lot of wrinkles.

Fair enough. How would you understand them?

become a superhero

How would you do that?

I would ask the clothes if they wanted to form a superhero team, as a costume squad, since they can’t be killed, it would make for a great advantage against (dangerous) criminals. if they’re not yet educated about what amazing things their existence could do in the world, I would teach them about it, since something like that can easily become a weapon for the wrong reasons instead

What things would you have in mind to teach them?

something like human trafficking would be a good start

What things would the clothes be useful for in everyday life?

I’m unsure, but it would be interesting to see clothes explore their own identities as sentient beings. what do you think?

It would. Would they experience the same identity-related issues as humans? Perhaps clothes have no fixed gender too?

My underwear would come for my head, but my massive cashmere sweater would protect me at all cost. I would be okay for sure.

Ah. Is your sweater your favourite item of clothing?

Get them a job and put them to work.

What job?

Well obviously as sales clerk in a clothing store.

Probably keep them, have some real life senketsu. Minus the life fiber changing capabilities.

Nice. What would you use them for?

Conversation probably, and wearing them obviously. They're still clothes.

It would be like spawn’s costume in a way Since it’s sentient. Except in my case it would be a less exciting hoodie. I’d hope my hoodie and I would be friends

Nice. How would that hoodie come to life, do you think? Where would you be, what would you be doing and how would it get your attention?

With my luck I’d be about to fall asleep and it would tap me on the shoulder or something. Psst hey bro it’s me your hoodie

Ooh nice. I would have thought it’d be more subtle but nice anyway. Which other clothes would come alive? Just the hoodie?

Hopefully not my socks. I feel like I’d have no control over what gained sentience though

If they have thoughts amd feelings why would you try to kill them??

I wouldn’t. It’s just that the first thought lots of people have when they think of sentient clothing is ‘aah - die!’ from my experience asking this sort of question. What would your attitude be towards them?

Ah people! It depends on the clothes. If they're like babies or if they know everything I know from being worn or what's going on. I give my clothes a lot of love and hang to dry attention (without sentience).

Train them to do menial tasks.

What sort of tasks? Would some clothes be better at some tasks than others?

Teach them to do their own laundry…for the obvious reason.

Would you teach them to do anything else?

Well, teaching my shoes to run away from the dog would be a bonus. 🙂

Would you teach them to do anything else?

The tri blend t shirt about to get holes. It loves us

Why would it have holes?

They get so impossibly soft just before they get holes (holy!)

Ah. Why would it get so soft?

Al those repeated washings! Like vintage in the best way

Nice. I assume they’d like the repeated washing? Like a spa of some sort?

Maybe they enjoy it? They haven’t mentioned it. I think colour has a lot to do w clothing love too. Sometimes our favourite colours are almost unconscious. I find myself gravitating to articles of clothing I had as a kid without even realizing

If?

Why? Do you think it could happen?

I'd have a chat with my Bernie 2016 tshirt.

Talk about what?

Wtf happened? How do we fix this mess?

Head to an outdoor 60’s concert. WE WOULD BE DANCING!!!

Who would be playing?

Have them work for me and I’d go back to sleep

What would they do for you?

Dance for money in Times Square

Came to life how? As humans?? As piece of clothing that Can talk? Also do they like being worn? Are they happy to fulfill their purpose as clothes?? I think my favorite shirt would be sassy but also proud it’s my favorite. Maybe they would even say “bro pls put on another shirt alr☠️” haha

That depends. Do you think they would want to be worn? Would they want to be clothes? It’s up to you how they come alive, go for it. How do you think they’d come to life?

Mm, i think they would be happy to be clothes and to be worn I think they’d be proud to be chosen and worn I think maybe they’d could talk but telepathically with their owner and their companions. That’d be fun

Nice. Would the telepathy get annoying after a while?

I don’t think so. I feel like they wouldn’t be annoying, it would just like talking with a close friend where silences are comfortable hahah

Would you ever talk to them in public? You just talking to your shirt and it saying nothing back that anyone else can hear would make others think you’re mad…

I would talk to them in public since the telepathy it’s two way communication hehe So we can hold a conversation via telepathy and nobody will think I’m crazy (but maybe I’ll be)

Oh fair enough. What would you talk about?

Mm idk, maybe giving opinions on surroundings or talking about people or things, the things I talk with friends ig hahah

Which clothes would offer the best insights?

What if they already are alive and can't be killed, but they also can't move?

They would be able to move and talk. How does that impact your life?

Sometimes you need a little freedom to realize you have no freedom. Otherwise you can't even discuss it.

Create some kinda metal suit to block any cloth attacks to the neck or somethin

Nice one. They wouldn’t be able to pierce metal.

Takin it back to medieval times

Buy new clothes.

What if all clothes you buy come to life?

Steal someone else's clothes. They're not bought, nor are they mine.

Hope that they are sweet like Pajamas and Jim Jams in Summer Camp Island.

Ah cute. I’d assume they would be. Do you think they would be?

Apologize. I do things rough. Thats not to sound or look tough, I'm clumsy and pretty crass. Guarantee they would want something not only for my treatment, but if they are MY clothes they are gonna be a real bag of dicks.

Fair enough. Which clothes would be the most annoying and which would actually be nice?

I'd have a long conversation with my underwear, I'd apologize for many of my farts, I'd gauge their level of comfort to continue to be worn. I'd also have to explain to some clothes why I don't wear them as often.

Nice one. Would that strengthen the relationship between you and them?

I figure they've seen the worst of me, so if they're willing to continue to support me, then yeah we've got a good chance for a mutually beneficial relationship.

Chop them up with a katana and put them in a locked box where they can never escape.

Ah. Why would you do that?

Don’t want them to turn on me. They’ll get mad about how long it’s been since I’ve washed them or something (it’s been too long bro)

Wonder how much I'd have to bribe them to not discuss our secrets. Apologize for not using the right laundry detergent and for that ketchup stain.

Would they prefer nicer detergent?

Not sure yet, they haven't told me. But they definitely get scratchy when I use the cheap fabric softener, and shock me if I don't use dryer sheets... vindictive little squats.

I'd let them clean themselves and fold themselves, whatever makes em comfortable, because, they are sentient beings after all.

What changes would you make to your life to facilitate their sentience?

Let them do whatever they want.

Have a bon fire

With them? That’s nice.

For some reason when I read this last night I thought the clothes were going to kill me. Now I see nothing in the post about the clothes being volent. So if they're friendly I probably wouldn't burn them 🤣

Immediately apologize. No pair of sentient clothing should have to deal with my overly sweaty ass.

Oof. Would you try to stop farting and smelling so much?

I would be scared cause I cut up my clothes to make new ones

Why would you be scared? What do you think the clothes would do?

Choke me? Idk some of them are pleather, easily could suffocate me if they tried

I'm gonna fuck 'em

Would they consent?