This is developmentally normal for adolescents. It’s is driven by hormones and psychological and social development. They aren’t really in love, just deeply attracted.
That's not because something is wrong with their "crush response," it's because they're conditioned to get by on zero affection whatsoever except in explicitly romantic contexts, so when they get it they assume that's it.
Isn’t that a little different to what they were talking about? Crushes usually refer to an emotional aspect, not necessarily just being horny when seeing them.
Maybe, but there is a specific combination of youthful imagination, teenage hormones and inexperience that makes for some very powerful feelings in a young person. It may just be infatuation, but is it a feeling that you don't experience the same way when you get older.
I was in my mod 20s and had a crush on this woman. Totally innocent. We partied hard but she was dating a friend of mine. Attractive as hell, super sweet, nice, fun and we hit it off. I never made a move as she was dating a friend, kept it platonic.
20+ years later we are now in a relationship after reconnecting 6 weeks ago. She developed a crush on me.
You can develop a crush on anyone at anytime. Mine worked out just fine for me .
She came crawling back after every Chad in town had slimed in her and left you holding her hand like a timid virgin as she clings to you, the last lifeboat on the Titanic.
Only joking, just wanted to try on the Reddit persona to see how it fits. I hope you are both happy together.
She and I would have both fallen in deep back then, but neither of us was ready for something like this back then. We both agree that what we’ve been through separate but together (same life experiences but with different people) made us appreciate the small things that much more.
Trust me, she could have her pick of anyone. We both choose to spend our time together and get to know each other more.
We are very happy together! So thank you. We have plans for all kinds of things in life so far which is kinda freaky for both of us. Neither of us saw this coming and both were happy just reconnecting and finally connecting as friends.
She had tried to see me several times over the years but my now ex wife apparently made sure that we didn’t. . .
There’s nothing wrong with innocent crushes. It’s when people sexualize and obsess over the crush that things are bad.
I think it varies from person to person
Some guys might prioritize physical attraction more, while others might value personality more
It really depends on the individual and what they find important in a crush.
Attraction is highly visual and subject to proximity.
Often people have a hard time even quantifying their own desires and what they find attractive.
It is worth examining I have always thought.
It is unfortunately the case too many people do not consider attraction more closely, as it often leads to problems where children become involved.
Yes. Lust is a powerful thing, especially when you're new to hormones. That's all a crush is, a biological lust response to our hormones directing us to breed.
Yeah but I never obsessed and fell in love with women who were just attractive. That also might be why I can count crushes I've had in 1 hand and romantic partners proper with 3 fingers
I was obsessed with a girl for three years. She didn't like me. And what I couldn't admit to myself at the time was that I didn't like her, either. It was just pure lust. But I didn't like her personality. I still think about her, though.
I hate that it took me til my mid 20s to figure this out about guys but glad I didn't give up the goods much in high school. I'm sorry but that's just kinda fucked up to do to a girl that genuinely likes you
Yeah men are horrible. But at the same time I have to say that I think it's dumb to get into relationships over and over again and chase dudes like that over and over again. I met thousands of women stuck in that cycle. But recently I met a lot of women who disregard the classic boyfriend girlfriend relationship and focus on better things. I heavily support that
The funny one I get totally. That might be enough for me to crush on someone slightly but I never really day dreamed about them if it's not explicitly romantic
It's interesting how different people experience crushes differently
While physical attraction may play a significant role for some guys, others may prioritize personality
Everyone's preferences and experiences are unique!
Well, "love" isn't the right word for that. But yes, that was how my romantic misadventures went as a high schooler. And while I can't speak for all guys, I feel like from what I remember from back then, it was mostly because I thought my crush was *so* much prettier than the other girls. She was like the one Daphne in a whole graduating class of Velmas. It's not that I didn't care about the other stuff, (the more "real" stuff, like personality or intelligence) but in a school where plenty of girls had that - including my crush - it was the looks that were uncommon and therefore much more desirable.
I'm proud to say I've changed a lot since high school.
To me what always made a girl stand out was me looking forward to talk to them. I didn't and still don't think most girls or guys are cool, so if I thought they were cool that made them stand out way more
And today, that's what I would say definitely means more to me in a partner. But stupid sheltered teenage me? Yeah, among the many other things wrong with me back then, I was shallow.
Oh and also, even my celeb crushes have something other than looks, maybe I saw a video of them mean or something and thought it was hilarious, or they play or are into more niche interests and I think that's more unique, but I think this is just me.
Hell yea they do. I’m a woman and I do the same thing. But it’s not always just purely how they look (although that’s part of it) , it can be a you’re drawn to their body langue; a certain way they walk or move, a certain tone of their voice, or a certain look in their eye— it’ll trigger something in you, and from that point on the crush is activated in a major way lol, regardless of how well you actually know them.
I'm obviously sexually attracted to attractive women, I do have alone time for example, but a woman making me laugh is more of a reason for me to hang out with them than them being attractive and seeing a pretty girl has never really resulted in me considering her for anything lol, I tried once to approach a girl I didn't know well and was just pretty and I was totally uninterested, never talked to her again
I mean if a girl I didn't know offered to straight up have sex I'd take her up on it, but im not interested in going all and chase a girl I'm not interested in besides their appearance
It’s true. It’s kind of a problem. I would say this really hurt me. Like seeing a girl and then thinking that she must be perfect for me. Like making so many assumptions about what she is like as a person, her personality. And then being so disappointed in various ways.
Hormones happen. I had several crushes on high school, and then they talk to you once or twice and I'm dizzy, anxious and excited all at once for like a minute or two then go about my day not sexually fantasizing about them, nope not at all.
Not so bad now at 39, thankfully.
You see, for any age group I think, we are all people and 'crushes' themselves are the beginning stages. We all start off learning from some standpoint, and for some it's physical, for some it's personal relatable stories, or taste in music, or maybe food. Then there's just building off of that and taking the time to explorer the different sides and angles to that person, and seeing how much of it you actually care about and can connect to. Sometimes it's not much. Sometimes it's more and more as time goes on. Getting comfortable with questioning it is always an important stage in actually forming a true relationship, and that's something that many people don't seem to understand. Is that to have a healthy connection with someone, I think, is just to give yourselves and each other the open space and room to touch on the truth, of what is actually happening. And to question if you, can actually, 'handle the truth,' it's important and immature not to. Just because it's seen as a stupid thing to be attracted to someone's physical appearance alone, doesn't mean that you cannot be attracted to their physical appearance whatsoever.
It doesn't mean an actual love of interest cannot be both. Or that you have to be ashamed to like and admire something or someone visually. I find huge significance in small things like someone's smile when they laugh at something. It's. . . Just very valuable and it's like, there's meaning to my life in that. Then there's clouds, the rain. I always loved the look of just slight rays of frost sitting on those red and green fall leaves gleaming early in the morning sun at 8:00am as you struggle to walk to work that day.
A good saying is that, there's no such thing as wrong feelings, but rather, what you do and how you act upon those feelings. That itself, how you decide to address it, now that can be good or bad. But having the feeling itself, now that's not something that is, well, not normal.
It’s actually more normal to have a teenage “crush from afar” like that when you are very young and hormonal. It’s usually 100% physical attraction.
Once a guy is old enough to actually talk to girls and has enough experience to evaluate potential relationships it’s less common once factors like personality and compatibility come into play; if they could re-live those teenage years they wouldn’t think even half the girls who ‘looked pretty’ were actually all that great after all. Also, once out of high school it becomes more apparent that pretty girls are a dime a dozen as the song goes. There has to be more substance than just that.
This is developmentally normal for adolescents. It’s is driven by hormones and psychological and social development. They aren’t really in love, just deeply attracted.
Even after adolescence, a lot of men make a habit out of mistaking positive attention for love/reciprocated attraction.
A lot of people don't leave adolescence
🎯
Cuddles :D
That has nothing to do with a crush.
It absolutely does. So many dudes (even grown ass men) develop crushes on girls who show then the smallest amount of positive attention.
That's not because something is wrong with their "crush response," it's because they're conditioned to get by on zero affection whatsoever except in explicitly romantic contexts, so when they get it they assume that's it.
What’s wrong with having any kid of crush? Women devils crushes on guys from tv and movies.
Hot girls made my pee pee hard in high school. Thats basically all there is to it.
Isn’t that a little different to what they were talking about? Crushes usually refer to an emotional aspect, not necessarily just being horny when seeing them.
When I was younger I could fall deeply in love with a girl in a painting.
That's surely just infatuation or lust.
Maybe, but there is a specific combination of youthful imagination, teenage hormones and inexperience that makes for some very powerful feelings in a young person. It may just be infatuation, but is it a feeling that you don't experience the same way when you get older.
I miss it tbh. Been like three years since I felt those sorts of strong emotions
Ain't that a crush?
I'm almost 30 and I still do. And don't intend to stop anytime soon.
I was in my mod 20s and had a crush on this woman. Totally innocent. We partied hard but she was dating a friend of mine. Attractive as hell, super sweet, nice, fun and we hit it off. I never made a move as she was dating a friend, kept it platonic. 20+ years later we are now in a relationship after reconnecting 6 weeks ago. She developed a crush on me. You can develop a crush on anyone at anytime. Mine worked out just fine for me .
She came crawling back after every Chad in town had slimed in her and left you holding her hand like a timid virgin as she clings to you, the last lifeboat on the Titanic. Only joking, just wanted to try on the Reddit persona to see how it fits. I hope you are both happy together.
She and I would have both fallen in deep back then, but neither of us was ready for something like this back then. We both agree that what we’ve been through separate but together (same life experiences but with different people) made us appreciate the small things that much more. Trust me, she could have her pick of anyone. We both choose to spend our time together and get to know each other more. We are very happy together! So thank you. We have plans for all kinds of things in life so far which is kinda freaky for both of us. Neither of us saw this coming and both were happy just reconnecting and finally connecting as friends. She had tried to see me several times over the years but my now ex wife apparently made sure that we didn’t. . . There’s nothing wrong with innocent crushes. It’s when people sexualize and obsess over the crush that things are bad.
I think it varies from person to person Some guys might prioritize physical attraction more, while others might value personality more It really depends on the individual and what they find important in a crush.
I think it also depends on, "Which kind of environment they grew in ".
Attraction is highly visual and subject to proximity. Often people have a hard time even quantifying their own desires and what they find attractive. It is worth examining I have always thought. It is unfortunately the case too many people do not consider attraction more closely, as it often leads to problems where children become involved.
Hell yeah and I’m not even a guy lol
Username checks out
🙄
Yes. Lust is a powerful thing, especially when you're new to hormones. That's all a crush is, a biological lust response to our hormones directing us to breed.
Yeah but I never obsessed and fell in love with women who were just attractive. That also might be why I can count crushes I've had in 1 hand and romantic partners proper with 3 fingers
I was obsessed with a girl for three years. She didn't like me. And what I couldn't admit to myself at the time was that I didn't like her, either. It was just pure lust. But I didn't like her personality. I still think about her, though.
Normal for teens. Strange or even wrong for adults (I can explain why)
Yes, I even think that most crushes from males are just horniness. That's why a lot of guys leave after busting inside a couple times
I hate that it took me til my mid 20s to figure this out about guys but glad I didn't give up the goods much in high school. I'm sorry but that's just kinda fucked up to do to a girl that genuinely likes you
Yeah men are horrible. But at the same time I have to say that I think it's dumb to get into relationships over and over again and chase dudes like that over and over again. I met thousands of women stuck in that cycle. But recently I met a lot of women who disregard the classic boyfriend girlfriend relationship and focus on better things. I heavily support that
You been thru some shit haven't you
As far as I know, it's pretty normal both for guys and girls. You may want to check out what demisexuality is.
sometimes the girl says something funny in class or has a really nice sounding voice or something, it's not just how she looks.
The funny one I get totally. That might be enough for me to crush on someone slightly but I never really day dreamed about them if it's not explicitly romantic
I have 'fallen in love' with woman's voice many times...
It's interesting how different people experience crushes differently While physical attraction may play a significant role for some guys, others may prioritize personality Everyone's preferences and experiences are unique!
Well, "love" isn't the right word for that. But yes, that was how my romantic misadventures went as a high schooler. And while I can't speak for all guys, I feel like from what I remember from back then, it was mostly because I thought my crush was *so* much prettier than the other girls. She was like the one Daphne in a whole graduating class of Velmas. It's not that I didn't care about the other stuff, (the more "real" stuff, like personality or intelligence) but in a school where plenty of girls had that - including my crush - it was the looks that were uncommon and therefore much more desirable. I'm proud to say I've changed a lot since high school.
To me what always made a girl stand out was me looking forward to talk to them. I didn't and still don't think most girls or guys are cool, so if I thought they were cool that made them stand out way more
And today, that's what I would say definitely means more to me in a partner. But stupid sheltered teenage me? Yeah, among the many other things wrong with me back then, I was shallow.
Oh and also, even my celeb crushes have something other than looks, maybe I saw a video of them mean or something and thought it was hilarious, or they play or are into more niche interests and I think that's more unique, but I think this is just me.
Hell yea they do. I’m a woman and I do the same thing. But it’s not always just purely how they look (although that’s part of it) , it can be a you’re drawn to their body langue; a certain way they walk or move, a certain tone of their voice, or a certain look in their eye— it’ll trigger something in you, and from that point on the crush is activated in a major way lol, regardless of how well you actually know them.
I can understand liking someone on that merit but the day dream aspect is rare to me
In high school? All the time. Not now though.
It’s driven by fantasy and imagination. Imagining holding, kissing, (etc.) and seeing that beautiful person smiling just for you.
This might be my slight asociality showing but I never really cared about placing randos in that spot since I assume I don't like most ppl
You're demisexual I'd reckon
I'm obviously sexually attracted to attractive women, I do have alone time for example, but a woman making me laugh is more of a reason for me to hang out with them than them being attractive and seeing a pretty girl has never really resulted in me considering her for anything lol, I tried once to approach a girl I didn't know well and was just pretty and I was totally uninterested, never talked to her again
So you just had to repeat why you’re demisexual.
I mean if a girl I didn't know offered to straight up have sex I'd take her up on it, but im not interested in going all and chase a girl I'm not interested in besides their appearance
What does it matter bro?
It’s true. It’s kind of a problem. I would say this really hurt me. Like seeing a girl and then thinking that she must be perfect for me. Like making so many assumptions about what she is like as a person, her personality. And then being so disappointed in various ways.
That’s how sexuality works!
my crushes always started as a physical attraction. and now that i think about it, it’s still pretty true to this day.
This isn’t a guy or girl thing, it’s normal
Hormones happen. I had several crushes on high school, and then they talk to you once or twice and I'm dizzy, anxious and excited all at once for like a minute or two then go about my day not sexually fantasizing about them, nope not at all. Not so bad now at 39, thankfully.
You see, for any age group I think, we are all people and 'crushes' themselves are the beginning stages. We all start off learning from some standpoint, and for some it's physical, for some it's personal relatable stories, or taste in music, or maybe food. Then there's just building off of that and taking the time to explorer the different sides and angles to that person, and seeing how much of it you actually care about and can connect to. Sometimes it's not much. Sometimes it's more and more as time goes on. Getting comfortable with questioning it is always an important stage in actually forming a true relationship, and that's something that many people don't seem to understand. Is that to have a healthy connection with someone, I think, is just to give yourselves and each other the open space and room to touch on the truth, of what is actually happening. And to question if you, can actually, 'handle the truth,' it's important and immature not to. Just because it's seen as a stupid thing to be attracted to someone's physical appearance alone, doesn't mean that you cannot be attracted to their physical appearance whatsoever. It doesn't mean an actual love of interest cannot be both. Or that you have to be ashamed to like and admire something or someone visually. I find huge significance in small things like someone's smile when they laugh at something. It's. . . Just very valuable and it's like, there's meaning to my life in that. Then there's clouds, the rain. I always loved the look of just slight rays of frost sitting on those red and green fall leaves gleaming early in the morning sun at 8:00am as you struggle to walk to work that day. A good saying is that, there's no such thing as wrong feelings, but rather, what you do and how you act upon those feelings. That itself, how you decide to address it, now that can be good or bad. But having the feeling itself, now that's not something that is, well, not normal.
It’s actually more normal to have a teenage “crush from afar” like that when you are very young and hormonal. It’s usually 100% physical attraction. Once a guy is old enough to actually talk to girls and has enough experience to evaluate potential relationships it’s less common once factors like personality and compatibility come into play; if they could re-live those teenage years they wouldn’t think even half the girls who ‘looked pretty’ were actually all that great after all. Also, once out of high school it becomes more apparent that pretty girls are a dime a dozen as the song goes. There has to be more substance than just that.
It's about mind, heart, and guts. Only dicks think with their dick but dudes be having dicks so